AL

Alan Carr's 'Life's a Beach'

Keep It Light Media / Travesty Media

Comedy Career Reflections and Quickfire

From S10 EP20: Alan Davies (Video Edition)Jun 12, 2026

Excerpt from Alan Carr's 'Life's a Beach'

S10 EP20: Alan Davies (Video Edition)Jun 12, 2026 — starts at 0:00

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Yeah. We were on and Vic Reeves was on and he was pissed and every time Jules was going Happy New Ye when it's not New Year, it's October Do you remember that? I do know you mention it. Yeah. Every time Jills have to say shut up to Vic ' he it's not even New Year's Eve And that was a great line upp. Paul Weller, Amy Winehouse. Yeah, Ragam Montaine and the Zotons and they sang Valerie and I wonder whether that's when Amy Weinehouse when I'm going to sing Valerie. Yeah, why not? Yeah ye yeah. Yeah. Now I do remember that. That was good fun. but was it in Maidstone It was in made so. Yeah. There's always a catch in there really Now listen, that dog getting on your tets. Can you hear it? It's putting me off. Go and get her. Sorry. sorry, but I don't know what she's barking at Sorry, Alan, this is too much. Come on up Oh for God's sake. Well that's the continuity isn' it A we gonna to get through this? people there was a dog there? now there's not other big go, the dog's gone That dog is the bane of my life. Where did you get them from? All dogs matter. I'm patron of this dog charity and I rehomed them. And she's deaf as a post and then I got George ande it's the sweetest thing ever. When I come in, Rita can't hear me So she runs up and then they both come because she's def as suppostostar. She loves fireworks tonight re She's the only dol. It's at the window. Yeah, looks at it sori.s soag it a bit. Turn it up. Can't hear it get ear defenders but can you get them for dogs? As far as us no, putut your defenders on We don't need it. They for. Now A, what you think about this whole Allen thing? Yeah Because you know there hasn't been an Allen A new Allan born, you know that? Is so not? No. I didn't he that about eith. and Titchmarsh.itm and sugar. flying the flag. Yeah, there's no other Alan. They'll come round again. D you reckon? It'll come round again, yeah. Alan. is it ALA and inn' it? that's just What's your middle name? Graham. Alan Graham Do you want to know what mine is? I'm not. have a guess. It begins with a. No one never gets it Rodrigo. I'm gonna tell you now, Een, you're not the first person to guess that. Really? Oh my Godd. What? It's not Rodrigo? No Roger? Yes, it is Roger. That never happens. People say Ronald, Raymond, Robert Re. Roger. They go through Richard? it must be Richard and I say no. Yeah, it must be Rogers. No Alen? There's no other for Alice?? Well was it the white rhino? There aren't many Rogers honestly. No, no, My brother Gary, there's no Gary' either. No. Becauseuse if I was a woman, I was gonna be Elaine. Can you see me isn't Elaine? It's not too late. Can you see me working in ar because? I mean, yeah, you cant do anything these days I ha't chosen my woman name I can see there's a Ninaas Sone book up there and I think yeah, Nina. Nina that you Yeahah, Nina. Nina Roger. no. I wouldn't pronounce it Nina though. I would pronounce it Nina. Nina. E. Okay, let's move on. Melis, you like a bloody hlidy you do? I like tralling, yeah Yeah. I've done some research on you. You've been Vietnam. You like that there? Yeah Oh yes, it's lovely there. Yeah. loved it there What is your first ever holiday memory U buckets and spades on the beach and the south coast. Yeah Yeah. I mean, what I really remember is having to fill the boot up with everything we owned L you could when you go andout you just basically until the boot's absolutely full and you can't chut it, you haven't got enough stuff yet. And it it was like a liila, weren't there between you and your brother like a partition. Yeah a death trap really, weren't it when you All cars were death traps in those days, No seatbelts in the back If smmoking was compulsory then no one smoked in our family And they were they were just really a light baked bean can on wheels, weren't them? Yeah, yeah. You could just crush them with around ye. For Cina.' you could just squash it down flat put out the recycling. Where would you say has been the best place you've ever been Well I'm a bit I really like Australia. Yeah. I've got family in Australia but really any town in Australia I've enjoyed. I quite like it when you go to smaller town when I've done stand up tos and you find some smaller town. And it really does feel very provincial. Yeah and quite like that feeling. Yeah, yeah. Ccause this think ahead tour it start in Trura on the twenty first of September. You've done Edinburgh, you've done it. Then you went to Australia, New Zealand and then it's coming back now, inn't it? Yeah, I'm doing another whole load of other dates in September, October Yeah, because I've been enjoying it. It's going What's the first tour I've done for ten years? ten years. Why do you want to do it again for? I don't know I got the urge Iny in it. I got the urge. And I had something I wanted to talk about and something I wanted to say. Yeah. And then I had been gigging like I hadn't gone away completely Yeah So I did, you know, gigging to keep my hand in But then I thought, no, I think I can. I think I've got one. What I got one brewing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That we used to say it's on the runway. That kind of thing, you know, when you've had a big dinner Oh it's on the runway. I used in my less sophisticated stand updays, I had quite a long routine about having one brewing at school I think people would have one brewin and they would keep it assembly, I'm going to hold on to it for assembly and then and then let it go and then you get to a point in midle How did we ever keep it Keep it. just they say just make their own mind up when they're gonna show themselves. you ain't got no joice. got no joice to making sure you're outdoors. There's one coming and then sometometimes it's like bubbly, I'm like a lava lamp. I can hear it all out all the bubbles. I don't know which oriface is gonna come out of That's gr find a you al. And you know I mean I don't want to get all grim and stuff, but I saw you went to I saw an interview you did about Christchurch. Now I went there on my tour and you it's basically, how you can describe it is the financial area after that earthquake flattened. Yeah yeah And it's like canary wolf being flattened. And the man took me on top of that cafe. Do you know that cafe where the sandwich used to come through a pipe You'd never see a waiter. You'd press the button and you'd see your sandwich going Yeah. And then it would plop on your table. I weren't on drugs, this is true. And then he took me on he said Alan, he said this used to be skyscrapers and stuff like that And I went back there and it's slowly getting on its feet But I mean, what an old place and they're so thankful, aren't they? The New Zealanders when you go over there. Yeah. Well I'm going there in August actually I went Australia last year and I'm going back And each time of because Chrosschurch was a really lovely city It was a really pretty nice place cathedral was beautiful and it was a terrible tragedy col. There's a tree through it now and they can't get the tree out of it. It's so heartbreaking But yeah I'll go back there, do another show there and see how it's how it's going because immediately afterwards It was just fenced off. mean you couldn't go in it. Yeah, ye. But the south Island spepeaking of lovely places, the south Island of New Zealand is so beautiful. Is that the one of the black sands beaches? Black sands beaches. It's got everything. It's got mountains, beaches, scenery, and you can really feel like there's no one about. Yeah. Yeah. You could really lose yourself What's been your worst holiday? It says a cananary Island 'cause it was pissing it down. So because it was the last minute thing. Let's get some winter sun. I've had enough of this. Yeah. Where can you get winter sun? usually rely on the Canary island. the travel agency? Yeah Canary Islands. I mean, you can be there basically in five minutes You won't believe it. We got there and it was absolutely in town. And so in England, if it's raining, it feels normal. E everythingthing's built for it windows are built for looking out at rain a natural position of an English person slightly nervously looking at the sky. It all works. Yeah ye. In Spain, everything's ruined. The outdoor furniture looks like it needs to be skipped. They had a pool table outside in this sort courtyard cover on it that was dipping down with a puddling. It looked like it'd been raining for about three years. said this isn't any good We went straight back to the airport we say That's what you went straight back. about bit of ride. Yeah. I checked into the Radison at Manchester Airport at a lovely twenty four hours Cuffles by. G it It's a very nice say. Are you impulsive then? You just went No, I'm not sting. You're having this. Gay home again. That's Matt. That was the shortest and the worst holiday of my life. Eight hours in the Canary Islands. Because I've got to ask now do you ever complain? Didn't complain. Didn't complain. justust went so sorry. Could you call me a taxi to the airport . haaven't you just checked in? Iap that that is correct. Have you had anything from the minibar? No, I haven't. Oh my God. It's so impulsive. I I went back. How had you down as this? Yeah. You like this in life all the time? No, that was the only time I've done that. but I suppose I am. I suppose I could make a snap decision. Yeah yeah. I'm trying to make one now, but I can't think of one I want to show it. Do you ever complain You've booked business class and you lost your seat? Oh no, this one no I was annoyed because yourself every loveving G to the chitsot real. G W your seats wet There was a dip in the sink of the water. It's go to Costa Rica. Let's go to Costa Rica. And a flleute to America going to fly from there paid a grand extra for business class And then ats se cure This is first world problems. They had new checking machines, you know, touchs screen checking machines. Absolutely no one knew how to work them.e Every single person checking in had a member of staff helping. No one knew how to work them. The ceue was going around the terminal. By the time in the end we had to go and see a guy counter and he said, Well, you're too late. We've given away all the business class suits to our frequent flyers.. I said, I have checked. I have paid. Well I want to be refunded for the extra. No, you can't pay. It's your fault, you're late. And Oh myat you'd have he was so camp and he was really I would loved him You'd have loved him You would have if you'd been there That was a movie would have been him? You would I played him. No it was really he wasn't like you. It was came in a different way. Was he one of those horr ' I'm like, was he a bitchy? Bchy bitchy. Buttoned up wasishight wasish and tight lipp and loved it Anden power. He loved the power and he basically said, you can't get on the plane. and then he walked away. So then I'm at the counter. and then I'm going to have to suck it up and go economy to Costa Rica. And then I had a reality check and I thought actually this really is a first world problem. I'm surely I'm making an absolute fool of myself here. The only way that could be worse is if they were filming that documentary airport. ' I always felt sorry for them because they were late weren't they then ago You fucking like this and then the camera comes in for the close up for then that's forever now That is caught onkay. You can't even have a mode Could they ye. people would be like, I didn't think Jonathan Creek was that much of an arswan. In the programme, he's never an arrsalban. What did you think of Costa Rica? Well, I was disappointed I didn't know it didn't rain. It rained continontually. And do you know why it rained continually? Because we were in the rainforest, Alen. And that is very well named Oh my God. We socus are there. thelusion And they said to someone on the plane, an American guy said, Where are you staying? And we told him and he went, Oh, because one side of Costa Rica is lovely beaches. full of American tourists and the other side sh didn't heavy rain. And we went to a beach where turtles lay eggs David Aterbough. Yeah, yeah. but they'd been and gone Do you know what? I'm just gonna to end this podcast because I don't think this is meant to be an uplifting fun travel. It's just you like the kiss of death? The kiss of death Everything goes wrong. I'm surprised you're not on that rat infested cruise ship that's outside the Canary Islands.'s a f People have died, that's awful. It's a fucking ratiss everywhere They're not letting people laugh That's the kind of thing that happened to you ' a very short window for the turtles. That's all I can tell you. And then we hred a car This's the first time I've ever driven a four wheel drive thing and driving along and caseing my wife says, I think we're quite close to the edge here. And I's going Ridiculous. I've driven before about this the whole onnce the wheel went over the edge, it was so heavy this car that it went in a ditch. So then we're at an angle like this rain's coming down wipers again. I was thinking this couldn't get much worse could it? I hadn't even seen a turtle. And then I opened the door, got out over lookingking it and the dog started barking and ran ran up the road at us We were really frightened of it. I love dogs But this dog was the scariest dog I've ever seen. So then we got back in the car. withith the dog at the window like this this could be my worst trip. Anyway, I put it in reverse And it just backed straight out of the ditch That was the highlight of the trip I was very impressed. You didn't run over the dog. No, no. We drove away at high speed. then we had had rabies. Possibly. had something wrong with it. And then we went to a restaurant And it rained so hard, the rain was landing outside the restaurant, bouncing off the road and coming in onto our table Drops the rain as big as your head My God So ye. It's actually one of those trips that we laugh about a lot And Katie got about four hundred midjy bites on her legs whilst eating a bit of fish that was entirely bone Anyway, we cut it short flew to New York and that is one of the greatest cities in the world. Oh yeah. this is sponsored by the Costa Rica Tour Acord. I was supposed to be writing about it for a newspaper. Really? And I wrote what I thought was a very funny article about this catastrophic trip. And they said, you can't really write this because you know it was free. I said, it was free apart from the thousand pound upgrade that I paid for And then they hung up. Have you ever been on the phone and they realize the other person's gone? You're still ranting away. Have you ever been on holiday with a celeb or had a celebrity encounter? We've had all kinds of people. We've had Jeremy Car had Dina Ross Sometimes just passed them in a foyer, sometometimes they'd been on a see. What did Just Stephen Frery was on a plane and John Denver was having sex, wasn't he Oh. Oh yes. What's see it? Bass Lermman Oh no, I don't want to drag people and Someone was having sex, John Denver. What? No, Oh, let's this is Well John Denver's dead and he? mean, yeah, but don't want like, yeah, it was him having sex though Yeah, Sir John Demler. Yeahes, yeah. whereere's this going? No have you got No have you have you ever had a celeb encounter? I've seen celebs I saw sting on a plane. Sting on a plane. Sting was on a plane and this was in Australia and it was a kind of it was a smaller plane it was like in internal And he was up the front. And he was kneeling on his seat and talking to the people in the row behind. I don't know if he knew them or not So the entire plane could see sting for the entire journey. It felt a little bit performative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw him I saw It a bit like when a bald person, you know their sunglasses slip back and you think that they're staring at you old the flight. Have you ever knoward that when you like? What's his problem? Yeah, just that add a little nose and mouth. sharpie. Tges their fat and they've got that crease at the back, you know, all the fat's just like do about that If you get a creasy neck you can't target that for weight loss, can you? Gowls, jowls, that's my thing. I'd never have plan I would get me gowels don't you' got jowls? I don't think I've got a jowls. I was watching Robin Romish the other night, watchatching them do one something V veryy funny it was. way they both had extreme vanity about their jowells. Yeah. They were standing in the nude wearing paper and underpants. I saw that when one of this bl bag was hanged out. But they only tixelated one of them. You can see the other bld bag. You can't just give one and not the other Well I thought after all of that I sitt had a bloope walking on them in paper pants in the nude and then suddenly they go, o, I'm a bit worried about how I look under my chin. No one in Britain's thinking about your chin. No, I know. I watched that as where it was funny. They've got you know what? they've got no shave, have they? Got no shame. They don't care. they don'tt care Now we said, what' this? You once bought a dress in Marba for Madonna's daughter, Laorees. What's going on here? Yeah It's true ose What happen what I was doing Ets money, obviously. And they ran aside to you, Allan. How much? I'll do it. No that's not the order. I'll do it. How much do, they would round up really good people. so you'd get costume design, it was a freezing cold shoute it was November and said, Oh you can borrow these ug boots if you like. And I said, Oh okay. So I borrowed the ug boots, put them on and they were kind of right up to my knee. I sort of looked a bit like I was going to say Madonna, but that would be wrong I can't think of what look like anyway A reason I mention it is she said, do you know the last person who wore those? And I immediately thought, Oh no. I thought they were new. And she goes, Sean Connery. And then she started to tell me how much he perspires. so that W. He was So she knew him. this was her name dropp. on so I'm wearing your Connerary sweaty boot, but he's sweatated in him and ars can make you sweat anyway, don't they? Yeah I took him home And they became the mothership for a massive moth infestation in our house That's a going in a binbag in the end, but that's some digressive. Yeah, yeah, I'd say. The maker You're not wrong. pase S light to him. But the makeup designer work with Madonna And I said She said, goingo anywhere nice oneough I'ice to be going to Marayo on holiday next week. She said, Oh, Madonna's daughter, who was about five at the time. She loves flamenco. doest she? Do you think you could pick up a flamenco dress And it feels like you're in a dream. Yeah Yeah yeah. So I said ye easily. I mean they sell them on the seafront, racks of them. I mean, they're highly flammable. they're not Yeah yeah pass any hell exactly, Jack Yeah so so I did. Be they have the pants there, Dn't they Delch and Banana and Kevin Kleine and all that. Yeah you get with four different brands on the one All right anyway, I brought it back and I gave it to the makeakeup designer, but I never hadard anything. But that is an amazing story. Lord Descott with a dress And Ronan and Keate and you're in Antiga and you're worried about him because everyone got nora virus Antiga As we checked into the hotel in Antiga with the family. We heard someone further along the reception desk and The whole hotel's riddled with it Oh my go. No w And so on then they were saying, you shouldn't be checking any more people in as we were checking in. And it turned out that the entire hotel had noravirus. and what's more So many of the people the staff who work at the hotel also work at other hotels or know or live with people who work at other hotels. Oh nice because're all over Antiga. The whole island Beautiful place. I've been to Antiga, I love it. there. A there. The mosquitoes say Anyway, Ronan Keaton appears And I had a little chat with Ronan And his partners with him and she was so good looking I mean, I couldn't Yeah, she's standning and she st. Yeah. So I couldn't really I had to favor her. Yeah, yeah. he didn't have no revirusing no. As far as I'm aware. Yeahah, all that I can imagine if you're that good looking and you don't get it No Bacteria probably dont know. Yeah. E the bacteria is a bit loud. couldouldn't possibly do that. Yeah. Even the bacteria look should just be ugly people who get ill. They're off said it. we're all thinking it. Ugly people deserve to be ill because they're ugly So listen That's the conclusion. That's what I got from that story So think ahead Turo twenty first September, then a book White Mail Standup, which is already out but the paperbacks out. Paperback's coming out in June. Yeah, June of this year. Now listen, I've got to say this. I read well, I head the audio book of Just Ignore him.. Oh my God if you're listening one of the most Powerful books, honestly. That chapter fingers Oh about my mama. Oh ye Honestly, it was yees It really special. so yeah, it was it's Yes, so beautifully written I'm so sad Yes I like so anyway, let's. But I mean very ra you know, very rarely does something hit you like that. So now I've kaled the mood. No Let's move on. I'm just intrigued at the end. Obviously, I know this is a bright and breezy you podcast about travel and stuff, but at the end Did you feel cathartic? Did you have any closure? Bea you wanted to remember your mum and I wrote down everything I could remember about my mum. I lost my mum when I was six So I wrote down everything I could think of I' done of creative wrriting course, which was a fantastic experience. Being a mature student was amazing because I really wasted my time at university when I was the right age. Yeah. and I really thought I would highly recommend it And the teacher had said to me stuff write the things that make you cry And it did make me cry right in my j. God I made laugh about mom. But going through that process and s of sorting out all those experiences and was very helpful and beneficial and that map book ends when I'm just about to go into stand upp comedy. Yeah. And so the new book White Male standandup is about being a white mouseu. Yeah. and it kind of picks up so it's s of part too. So It still has sad bits in it and things are still difficult Yeah, but they's also dotes about You know, all the fantastic people who were my contemporaries like Lee Evans and Harry Hill Yeah and had such a wonderful time especially starting out in comedy, you know I remember years ago, I stormed to Palmerton and then he was There was some Talent show for new comedians. they had five minutes of stuff, you know And that's just starting. And the prize was you go into development with a production company Paul said to me, that's sur prizise. You dont That's where the real hell begins. When you're in development for two years and nothing comes of it. you don't even get the five years of fun. Yeah. where you're just gigging and going around in cars and Oh you know, it's really great fun,n't it Well, I mean, me and John Bishop often talk about, you know, me, John Bishop and Jason Manford in this car going over the Penine wayight get twenty pounds, you know above a pub and then we'd come back share the petrol money. we laugh about that now what an amazing, you know, never for minute did we think all this would happen? No, exactly. I kn. And in fact in those in that time I mean, I had similar stories with Shaul Lock and Incognitone. and Steve Murray in a car and all of them sadly now. passed away I know. What a laugh we driving around L ye, yeah. But no there was no one ahead of you Making millions of pounds. No on the so called alternative comedy circuit, you know? Jack Dee got on channel four and we thought this's like Robert De Niro.'s like a megazine. Yeah ye This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check Responsse is set up required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy moocha raappuccino drink? or a sweet vanilla? Smooth caramel maybe? orr white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Rappucino drinks wherever you buy your groceries. W there anyone you saw the first time, we would know one you canem with you end Wow, they've got it. Was it like that or is it funny when you think back can see them work in their craft and everything. Was there any when you went? got it. Well, I think Jack honestly When I first saw him at the comedy store and this is about nineteen ninety nine, he was the funniest Yeah the place was hysterics. And he wasn't in a sharp suit then. He rode a motorbike to Giggs Pull his crash on me off his hair was all skewer. Yeah. his jumper would be a bit pull to one side. He'd go on stage and he'd go, I hate fat people.. But then he'd be really funny about that. Yeah. And then he'd go Iate thin people as well.. And he was the king of the comedy story Yeah. But my more contemporaries was Ed Yeard and Edd Yeard was not funny at the start. It just it was very strange and a bit peculiar and he'd come off the street doing street. And then after about a year, he'd just cracked it Yeah And then he was the funniest thing you'd ever seen in your life. And I remember doing a gig with him that I'd organized at my old university, and he said, Can Is it al right if I do longer? ' it's book for twenty, you know I said, if you want, then needed forty five minutes. I mean mainly about the Bible. but yeah yeah. the students were rolling around. I thought he's an actual genius. Be that's interesting because when you start off, you's right, you see some people go, Oh my God, they've got it. they've got it. And then it's true. you see others that they're not And Th then they get it and they find their persona and they find a rich vein and then they're off, isn't it? sometimes it doesn't come to some people until they've really got it right and got the right bit. You know, even just changing their mood on set or their persona, I'm going to be an angry person. I'm going to be a bit know scatty. It's funny, isn't it? When they get it? Boom That's it.. You found your place in comedy. And as you say your voice because then they can talk about almost anything As soon as you hear the voice, you start to laugh, you know? Yeah, yeah. I was when I started, there was a kind of a bit of a feeling that you should be a bit political And you should have some sort of agenda, you know And then I started talking about my granny knitted me a jumper when I was a kid and everyveryone's laughing so much at this. And then every time I told the story, I'd think of some other detail about how small the neck was or you know Yeah or the way she knitted or something. And the story just grew and grew and grew And you wouldn't get to a gig and you wouldn't have to say, what's everyone got on their granny's knitting? Are you doing the granny's knitting? Yeah, yeah. It's just you. Yeah, you found your own. So you can grow it and it becomes something you can do for years.. So listen, where do you see yourself You're a hundred. You're in your rocking chair, you've got all your faculties, always say facilities. You've got all your facululties Where'd you want to be in the world, Wh I'm guessing not the Canary Island. Where would you like to be Well, I used to think, like a lot of people think or you want to be looking out of the state or be by water And then you know you don't like that. I stayed in a hotel for the sea. looked out it' beautiful. And then in bed that night the sea was driving me mad because it was so loud. But a nice view, but I think I really like it in New York. I like Sydney Harbour. Yeah. Those are the places that come to mind Oh you could look pull the curtains back and think that's Yeah, yeah, you know. Aazing somewhere like that. But then I went for a nice walk in the peeak district and you can't go far wrong. No, no, no. Georgeia Snate. Yeah, it's around there then, yeah. It's just a hundred now, Alan. A hundred. Yeah a hundred. I mean, faculttyies are one thing. Th I'll get on and off the loop Well, you're on your commode If you're on your commode and youe on avenue hit in the peak district thepera I mean, you don't have to. I mean, people pick at these questions Well is it rocking chair? I'm not just answering. Yeah, but come of control M Bell. Yeah I know love, come on, I'm not doct. Hillary. I don't know. Right, Okaykay, we've got time We're starting our descent. We've got time now for quickfire round, okay Beach or pool. Beach. Adrenaline junkie or adrenaline slunky? Adrenaline junkie. Berlinwall or Millwall. Berlinwall. Alcar or Alcar Traz. I't know what the first one is. I'll call me. Oh you Wow. I've clearly had such an impact on you. I've never thought of going that. I' not Do you ever get called out? I sometimes do ye. Really? Yeahf course you out. I was called it at school. Oh wow. Yeah And I've quite liked it, so I sort of adopted it a bit And some of my friends said, Well you're not called Al. yourour name's not Al. I felt a bit cornered, and then my cousin who was older than me went past and went, allright, Al, and that was the best thing you ever did. You know with me, I was getting bullied at school. and you know, bullies get bored, don't they? They get bored a bully in you. And yeah you get towards the end of school and then fucking South Park came out, bigig gay Al It was like o great. My favourite story about antidotes to bullying, Stehven Fry told me this He was getting picked on He would say, Stop it, stop it, you'll give me an erection Good. I had a time machine I can do that. Mile high or I'm too shy. You remember the Mile high club? too shy there. A bit too shy now. okay. Yeah. First at the departure gate. Oh no, I'm always late. I'm always late, you're always late. Hence getting dumped into economy on my way to Costa Rica. I know, listen, I'm gonna start a go fund me page because it's really affected me Pite Travel pillow or absolute bollocks? Doould you like a travel pillow? just listen,'t It's the end of the interior. Don't spoil it. I' justited. We only got one more, just go with it. Don't pick in it I absolutely love a travel pillar ye. Yeah. Oh nice. No good, good, good. And last but not least, tip 'em or fuck 'em. Are you a good tipper? or you go, ha ha, never see you again. No, I do tip, but not well. Not Why am I not surprised? So I'm actually your mdle name's not Ebeneza. So I'm the sort of tip of where the waiter goes. Who's left their bus fare? My God. Thank you so much, Alan Davis, if you'd like to go and collect Your emotional baggage from the carousel you Thankk you, Alar. We hope you enjoyed your flight. Don't forget to like and subscribe Don't ever forget. Lve Sabby

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