Reflecting on Comedy Careers and Future

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Find Starbucks Pappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries Welcome to my travel podcast, Lightser Beach Every week I invite a special guest to take us on a journey together to their favourite holiday destinations and to reveal their top travel tips and tes My passastenger this week has been entertaining us for decades, whether it's been his stand up, his acting in the Basa Award winning Jonn of the Greek, or his brilliance, his panel shows like QI or even his critically acclaimed novels. His new book, White Maail Standup is a memoir and it's out in fakeight and hes real sitting there say, Oh Ala, we can't really what's the point of buying a book You're in luck. his brand new stand up tall thinkerhead is tour in the UK this September and October. You won't want to miss that. Stow away that hat luggage. Good Davis fininal Borning call for Anne David. This is the final booring call for Anne David. Al David, please make his way to the game the final mardning call for An David, Anne David, please make it way to the gamees. Thank you. Look what we've got on board. Alan, Dav, how you doing, Alan? I'm very well, thank you, Alan. Do you remember the first time we met? Was it on a? Was it on No, I think it was a film quiz or something? No. No. Geores Holland Oh really? the Ho to Nanny? Yeah. Really We were on and Vic Reeves was on and he was pissed and every time Jules was going, it's happppy New Year when it's not New Year, it's October. Do you remember that? I' do that you mention. Every time he Jules had to say shut up to Vic because he it's not even New Year's Eve And that was a great line upp. Paul Weller, Amy Winehouse. Yeah, Ray Montaine and the Zotons and they sang Valerie and I wonder whether that's when Amy Winehouse when I'm going to sing Valerie. Yeah, why not? Yeah ye yeah. Yeah. Now I do remember that. That was good fun. but was it in Maidstone It was in made Stone. Yeah. There's always a catch in there really. Now Well Ge what you think about this whole Allen thing? Yeah Be you know there hasn't been an Allen for a new Allen born, you know that? Is so not? No. I didn't see that about either. You and tichmarsh and sugar flagind the flag. Yeah, there's no other Allen They'll come round again. D you reckon? They'll come round again, yeah. Al ALA andn't it? that's just What's your middle name? Graham. Alan Graham, Carl. Do you want to know what mine is? I sure. H a guess. It begins with R. No one never gets it Rodrigo. I'm gonna tell you now, Een, you're not the first person to guess that. Really? Oh my God, What? It's not Rodrigo. Roger? Yes, it is Roger. That never happens. People say Ronald, Raymond, Robert, Reed. Roger. They go through. Richard? it must be Richard? and I say no. Yeah, it be Rogers. No Alens? There's no other Al? No? Well was it the White rhyer? There aren't many Rogers, honestly. No, no. My brother Gary, there's no Gary's either. No. Beause if I was a woman, I was gonna be Elaine. Can you see me isn't Elain? It'sot too late. Can you see me working in Agust? I mean, yeah, you can do anything these days I haven't chosen my woman name I can see there's a Nina Masone book up there and I think yeah, Nina. Nina that you yeah, Nina. Nina Roger. no. I wouldn't pronounce it Nina th No. You know I would pronounce it Nina. Nina. E. Okay, let's move on. Nowis, you like a bloody holidy, you do? I like travelling, yeah done some research on you. You've been Vietnam. You like that there? Yeah? Oh yes, it's lovely there. Yeah. looved it there What is your first ever holiday memory Backets and spades beach and the south coast. Yeah Yeah. I mean, what I really remember is having to fill the boot up with everything we own that you could when you go out you just basically Until the boot's absolutely full and you can't shut it,' you haven't got enough stuff yet. And it it was like a liil, weren't there between you and your brother like a partition. Yeah a death trap really, weren't it? when you All cars were death traps in those days. No seatbelts in the back If smmoking was compulsory, though no one smoked in our family And they were not they were just really light baked bean can on wheels, weren't? Yeah, ye. You could just crush them with hand ye. For Cina.' you could just squash it down flat, ye, put it out the recycling. Where would you say has been the best place you've ever been Well, I'm bit I really like Australia. Yeah. I've got family in Australia And so on Really any town in Australia I've enjoyed. I quite like it when you go to smaller town when I've done stand up tos and you find some smaller town And it really does feel very provincial Yeah and quite like that feeling. Yeah, yeah. C this think ahead tour it start in in Trura on the twenty first of September. You've done Edinburgh, you've done it. Th then you went to Australia, New Zealand and then it's coming back now, inn't it? Yeah, I'm doing another whole load of other dates in September, October. Yeah, because I've been enjoying it. going It's the first tour I've done for ten years. ten years. Why do you want to do it again for? I don't know, I got the urge funny in it. I got the urge. And I had something I wanted to talk about and something I wanted to say. Yeah. And then I had been gigging like I hadn't gone away completely So I did, you know, gigging to keep my hand in But then I thought, no, I think I can. I think I've got one. Well we've got one brewing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thats we used to say it's on the runway. That kind of thing, you know, when you've had a big dinner Oh it's on the runway I used in my less sophisticated stand updays, I had quite a long routine about having one brewin at school. people would have one brewin and they would keep it. assembly. I'm going to hold on to it for assembly and then then let it go and then you get to a point in midleation How did we ever keep it? Keep it just make their own mind up when they're gonna show it themselves? you ain't got no joice.ot got no joice of making sure you're outdoors. There's one coming and then sometometimes it's like buubby, I'm like a lava lampb. I can hear it all out all the bubbles. I don't know which orifice is gonna to come out of.s find a new orifice And do know I mean, I don't want to get all grim and stuff, but I saw you went to I saw an interview did about Christ Church. Now I went there on my tour and you it's basically how you can describe it is the financial area after that earthquake Yeah, yeah. And it's like canary wolf being flattened and the man took me on top of that cafe. Do you go that cafe where the sandwich used to come through a pipe You'd never see a waiter. you'd press the button and you'd see your sandwich going Yeah,. And then it would plop on your table. I weren't on drugs, this is true. And then he took me on top he said, Alan, he said, this used to be skyscrapers and stuff like that. And I went back there and it's slowly getting on its feet But I mean what an odd place and they're so thankful, aren't they? the New Zealanders when you go over there. Yeah, Well I'm going there in August actually. I went in Australia last year and I'm going back And each time of because Christchurch was a really lovely city It was a really pretty nice place cathedral was beautiful and it was a terrible tragedy. There's a tree through it now and they can't get the tree out of it. It's so heartbreaking But yeah, I'll go back there. going to do another show there and see how it's how it's going because immediately afterwards It was just fenced off. mean was you couldn't go in it. Yeah, yeah. But the south Island speaking of lovely places, the south Island of New Zealand is so beautiful. It' at the one of the black sands beaches. Black sands beaches. It's got everything. It's got mountains, beaches, scenery and you can really feel like there's no one about. Yeah You can really lose yourself What's been your worst holiday? It says a cananary island 'causeuse it was pissing it down because it was a last minute thing, Let's get some winter sun. I've had enough of this. Yeah. Where can you get winter sun? You usually rely on the Canary Is. the travel agency. Yeah the Canary Isons. I mean, you can be there basically in five minutes you won't believe it And we got there and it was absolutely It it down And in England, if it's raining, it feels normal. Everything's built for it windows are built for looking out at rain, a natural position of an English person slightly nervously looking at the sky. It all works. Yeah ye. In Spain, everything's ruined. outdoor furniture looks like it needs to be skipped There had a pool table outside in this sort courtyard cover on it that was dipping down with a paddling It looked like it'd been raining for about three years. No said this isn't any good We went straight back to the airport we say That's what you went straight back back a bit of rain. Yeah and checked into the Radison at Manchester Airport at a lovely twenty four hours That b. G It's a very nice say. Are you impulsive then? You just went now I'm not stabbing. I're having this. . Gay home again. That's Matt That was the shortest and the worst holiday of my life. Eight hours in the Canary Islands. 'ause I've gott to ask now, do you ever complain didnidn't complain Did didn't complain. justust went so sorry. couldould you call me a taxi to the airport haven't you just checked in? that is correct Have you had anything from the minib bar? No, I haven't. Oh my God. It's so impulsive. I went back. I' had you down as this. Yeah. You like this in life all the time? No, that was the only time I've done that. but I suppose I am. I suppose I could make a snap decision. Yeah yeah. I'm trying to make one now, but I can't think of one He want to show it. Do you ever complain You've booked business class and you lost your seat? Oh no, this one no o I was annoyed because get yourself re loveving there. Go to the chit S got real. Go W your seats wet There was a dip in the sink of the water. It's G to Costa Rica. It's go to Costa Rica.. And a fleute to American going to fly from there paid a grand extra for business class And then at's a cure This is sort of first world problems. They had new checking machines, you know, touchs screen checking machines Absolutely no one knew how to work them.ete Every single person checking in had a member of staff helping. No one knew how to work them. The ceue was going around the terminal. By the time in the end we had to go and see a guy at the counter and he said, Well, you're too late. We've given away all the business classs to our frequent flers, N right I said, I have checked. I have paid. Well, I want to be refunded for the extra. No, you can't be. It's your fault, you're late And Oh my you'd have it was so camp and he was really I would have loved him. You'd have loved him. You would have if you'd been there That was a movie, would' have been him? You and I played him. No it was really, he wasn't like you. It was camp in a different way. Was he one of those horrcause I'm like, was he a bitchy? Bchy. bitchy buton up Wpishight waspish and tight lipped and loved it Anden. power He loved the power and he basically said, you can't get on the plane. and then he walked away. So then I'm at the counter. and then I'm going to have to suck up and go economies to Costa Rica. And then I had a reality check and thought actually this really is a first world problem. I'm surely I'm making an absolute fool of myself here. The only way that could be worse if they were filming that documentary airport because I always felt sorry for them because they were late, weren't they then ago You fucking like this and then the camera comes in for the close up and then that's forever now That is cght okay. You can't even have a mode C yeah. people would be like, I didn't think Jonathan Creet was that much of an arsse. In the program, he's never an arsleban. Heat up your fourth of July at the Home Depot with our wide variety of grills under three hundred dollars and make every gathering one to remember. Give your outdoor space a glow up. Whatever your budget is, with savings on seasonal plants starting at five dollars With the grill fired up and your backyard set to perfection, you'll be able to invite friends and family over to kick off the party. Start celebrating with low prices guaranteed at the Home Depot. 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Law Supplies last ends june thirtieth, terms at aka dot m slash college PC What did you think of Costa Rica? I was disappointed didn' it know it didn rained it it rained continually And do you know why it rained continually? Because we were in the rainforest, Alen. And that is very well named. Oh my God. We said clueser there Clueser And I said to someone on the plane, an American guy said, Where are you staying? And we told him and he went, Oh, There's one side of Costa Rica is lovely beaches full of American tourists and the other side shitting downavy rain. And we went to a beach where turtles lay eggs. David Aterbh. Yeah, yeah. but they'd been and gone . you know what? I'm just gonna to end this podcast because I don't think this is meant to be an uplifting, fun travel It's just you like the kiss of death. The kiss of death Everything goes wrong. I'm surprised you're not on that rat infested cruise ship that's outside the Canary Islands. That's a fake. People have died, that's awfulful. It a fucking ratiss everywhere They're not letting people offgh That's the kind of thing that happened to you It' a very short window for the turtles. That's all I can tell you. And then we hired a car It's the first time I've ever driven a four wheel drive thing and driving along and casey my wife says, I think we're quite close to the edge here. And I's gonna Ridiculous. I've driven like this the whole thing. Once the wheel went over the edge, it was so heavy this car that it went in a ditch. So then we're at an angle like this, rain's coming down Wipers again. I was thinking this couldn't get much worse, could it? In't even seen a turtle. And then I opened the door, got out toide looking it and the dog started barking and ran and ran up the road us. We were really frightened by it. I love dogs this dog was the scariest dog I've ever seen. So then we got back in the car with a dog at the window. L this. this could be my worst trip. Anyway, I put it in reverse And it just back straight out of the ditch That was the highlight of the trip. I was very impressed. You didn't run over the dog. No, no. We drove away at high speed. then we had it had rabies. Possibly. G had something wrong with it. And then we went to a restaurant. And it rained so hard, the rain was landing outside the restaurant, bouncing off the road and coming in onto our table Drops the rain as big as your head My God So yeah. It's actually one of those trips that we laugh about a lot. And Katie got about four hundred midjie bites on her legs whilst eating a bit of fish that was entirely bone Anyway, we cut it short flew to New York and that is one of the greatest cities in the world. Oh yeah. This is sponsored by the Costa Rica Tour Acord. I was supposed to be writing about it for a new Really? And I wrote what I thought was a very funny article about this catastrophic trip. And they said, you can't really write this because you know it was free. I said, It was free apart from the thousand pound upgrade that I paid for And And then then they hung up. I. Have you ever been on holiday with a celeb or had a celebrity encounter? We've had all kinds of people. We've had Jeremy Carve, had Dina Ross, sometometimes just passed them in a foyer, sometimes they've been on a See, what did Just Sthen Fry was on a plane and John Denver was having sex, wasn't he? Have you ever had a celeb incn? I've seen celebs I saw sting on a plane Sting on a plane. Sting was on a plane and this was in Australia and it was a kind of it was a smaller plane to was work in an internal And he was up the front he was kneeling on his seat and talking to the people in the row behind. I don't know if he knew them or not So the entire plane could see sting for the entire journey. It felt a little bit of performative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw him, I saw. It a bit like when a bald person, you know, their sunglasses slip back and you think that they're staring at your older flight. Have you ever done that when you're like, What's his problem? I Yeah Just like that add a little nose and mouth, G sharpie. Ses they theirre fat and they've got that crease at the back, you know, all the fat's just like do about that. If you get the creasy neck. You can't target that for weight loss, can you? Gows, gowels, that's my thing. I'd never have I would get me gowels, though. you've got jowels? I don't think I've got gowels. I was watching Rob and Romish the other night, watching them do one something veryer funny it was a new way. they both had extreme vanity about their jowells. Yeah. They were standing in the nude wearing paper underpants. I saw that when a one of his bld bag was hanged out But they only fixelated one of them. You can see the other bld bang. You can't just give one and not the other. Well I thought after all of that sitting there they had a bloope walking on them in paper pants in the nude, and then suddenly they go, Oh I'm a bit worried about how I look under my chin. No one in Britain's thinking about your chin. No, I know. I watched that as where it was funny But you know what? they've got no shame, have they? Got no shame. They don't care. they don't't care Now it, what' this? You once bought a dress in Marbea for Madonna's daughter, Laorees. What's going on here? Yeah true because What happened was I was doing adverts. for Money, obviously. And they round se aside to you, Allan. How much? I'll do it. No That's not the order. I'll do it. How much And what they do, they would round up really good people So you'd get The costume designer, it was freezing cold shoot it was November and said, Oh you can borrow these ug boots, if you like. And I said, Oh okay. So I borrowed the ug boots, put them on, and they were kind of right up to my knee. I sort of looked a bit like I was going to say Madonna, but that would be wrong I can't think of what would look like anyway. The reason I mention it is she said, do you know the last person who wore those? And I immediately thought, Oh no. I thought they were new.. And she goes, Sean Connery And then she started to tell me how much she perspires. So that Wow. He was So she knew him, this was her name dropp so I'm wearing your Connerary's sweaty boot, but he's sweatated in him and ars make you sweat anyway, don't they? Yeah. I took him home And they became the motherership for a massive moth infestation in our house. That's a go in a bin bag in the end, but that's a digressive. Yeah, yeah, I'd say. The maker wr you're not wrong. please S light to him. But the makeup designer worked with Madonna. And I said she said, goingo anywhere n Iice oneay? And I said we're going to M Bay on holiday next week. She said, Oh, Madonna's daughter who was about five at the time. She loves Famenco. Thatic? Do you think you could pick up a Famenco dress And it feels like you're in a dream. Yeah Yeah yeah. So I said ye easily. I mean, they sell them on the seafront. racks of them. I mean, they're highly flammable, they're not Yeah yeah. pass any he exactly,ack Yeah so so I did. because they have the pants there, Dn't they Delch and Banana and Kevin Kleine and all that they and ye. Well yeah you get with four different brands on the one All right anyway, I brought it back and I gave it to the makeakeup designer, but I never hadard anything from. But that is an amazing story. Lord Descott with a dress And Ron and Key and you're in Antiga and you're worried about him because everyone' got nora virus Antiga. As we checked into the hotel in Antiga with the family. We heard someone further along the reception desk and The whole hotel's riddled with it little f go. wful And so on then they were saying, you shouldn't be checking any more people in as we were checking in. And it turned out that the entire hotel had noravirus. and what's more So many of the people the staff who work at the hotel also work at other hotels or know or live with people who work at other hotels. Oh nice because' all over Antiga. whole island Beautiful place. I've been to Antiga, I love it. there. A there. The mosquitoes. say Anyway, Ronan Keaton appears And I had a little chat with Ronan And his partnnerers with him and she was so good looking, I mean, I couldn't Yeah, she's standing, and she it st. Yeah. so I couldn't really Yeah, that's a favorite Yeah ye, yeah. he didn't have no revirus then no As far as I'm aware. Yeah, all that. I can imagine if you're that good looking and you don't get it No Bacteria probably don't know. Yeah. E the bacteria iss a bit l couldouldn't possibly do thatish. Yeah. Even the bacteria't look. She should just be ugly people who get ill. They're up saidic. We're all thinking it. Ugly people deserve to be ill ' they're ugly So listen That's the conclusion That That's what I got from that story. So think ahead, Tuo twenty first September then a book White maail stand up, which is already out with the paperbacks out. Paperback's coming out in June Yeah, June of this year. Now listen, I've got to say this. I read well I head the audio book of Just Ignore him.. Oh my God. if you're listening one of the most Pful books, honestly. That chapter fingers Oh about my mama. Oh ye Honestly, it was yes It's really special. so yeah, it was it's Yes, so beautifully written I' so sad Yes I like Let tell anyway, let's Barbie. Very rare you know, very rarely does something hit you like that? So Now I've killed the mood. No Let's move on. I'm just intrigued at the end. Obviously, I know this is a bright and breezy know podcast about travel and stuff, but at the end Did you feel cathartic? Did you have any closure? Bea you wanted to remember your mum and I wrote down everything I could remember about my mum. I lost my mum when I was six So I wrote down everything I could think of I done of creative wrriting course, which was a fantastic experience. Being a mature student was amazing because I really wasted my time at university when I was the right age. Yeah. and I really thought I would highly recommend it And the teutor had said to medite stuff write the things that make you cry did and it did make me cry right in m j. God I made laugh about mom. But going through that process and s of sorting out all those experiences and was very helpful and beneficial and that map book ends when I'm just about to go into stand upp comedy. Yeah. And so the new book White Male Stand upp is about I want mess that up. Yeah. and it kind of picks up so it's sort of partark too. So It still has sad bits in it and things are still difficult. but there's also doubts about You know, all the fantastic people who were my contemporaries like Lee Evans and Harry Hill and I had such a wonderful time especially starting out in comedy, you know I remember years ago, I staled to Pa Merton and he was There was some Tent show for new comedians. they had five minutes of stuff, you know And that's just starting. And the prize was you go into development with a production company And Paul said to me, that's the prize. You't That's where the real hell begins. When you're in development for two years and nothing comes of it. you don't even get the five years of fun. Yeah. where you're just gigging and going around in cars and Oh you know, it's really great fun,nt it Well, I mean me and John Bishop often talk about, you know, me, John Bishop and Jason Manford in this car going over the Penine way get twenty pounds, you know above a bub and then we'd come back share the petrol money. We laugh about that now what an amazing, you know, never for ute did we think all this would happen? No, exactly. I. And in fact in those in that time, I mean, I had similar stories with Saw Lock and Incognitone and Steve Murray in a car and all of them sadly now passed away byind. What a laugh We had driving around Lver. ye, yeah. But no there was no one ahead of you making millions of pounds. No on the so called alternative comedy circuit, you know, Jack Dee got on channel four and we thought's like Robert D Niro.'s like a megazine. Yeah ye. Was there anyone you saw the first time we would know when you canem was UN Wow, they've got it. Was it like that or is it funny when you think back and see them work in their their craft and everything. Was there anyone you went it. Well, I think Jack honestly When I first saw him at the comedy store and this is about nineteen ninety nine, he was the funniest Yeah the place was in hysterics. And he wasn't in a sharp suit then. he rode a motorbike to Giggs pull his crash helmet off his hair was all be skewer. Yeah. his jumper would be a bit pull to one side They go on stage and they go, I hate fat people. Oh But then he'd be really funny about that. And then he'd go, I thin people well. And he was the king of the comedy story, th know, Yeah. But one my contemporaries was Ed Yeard and Ed Yearsard was not funny at the start It just it was very strange and a bit peculiar and he'd come off the street doing streets. And then after about a year just cracked it Yeah And then he was the funniest thing you'd ever seen in your life. And I remember doing a gig with him that I'd organized at my old university and he said, Can Is it al right if I do longer? 'use b it's book for twenty, you know I said, if you want, then needed forty five minutes. I mean mainly about the Bible. ye yeah. the students were rolling around I thought he's an actual genius. Be that's interesting because when you start off, you's right, you see some people go, Oh my go, they've got it. they've got it. And then it's true. you see others that they're not Then they get it and they find their persona and they find a rich vein and then they're off, isn't it? It sometimes it doesn't come to some people until they've really got it right and got the right bit. You know even just changing their mood on set or their persona, I'm going to be angry person. I'm going be a bit you know scatty. It's funny, isn't it? When they get it? Bom That's it. Yeah. You found your place in comedy. And as you say your voice because then they can talk about almost anything As soon as you hear the voice, you start to laugh, you know? Yeah, yeah. When I was when I started, there was a kind of a bit of a feeling that you should be a bit political you should have some sort of agenda, you know And then I started talking about my granny knitted me a jumper when I was a kid Everyone's laughing so much at this. And then every time I' told the story, Id think of some other detail about how small the neck was or you know Yeah or the way she knitted or something. And this story just grew and grew and grew And you wouldn't get to a gig and you wouldn't have to say, what's everyone got on their granny's knitting? Are you doing the Ganny's knitting? Yeah, yeah. It's just you. Yeah, you found your own. So. So you can grow it and it becomes something you can do for years So listen, where do you see yourself? You're a hundred, You're in your rocking chair, you've got all your faculties, always say facilities. You've got all your facululties Where dod you want to be in the world. Wh I'm guessing not the Canary Island. Where would you like to be Well, I used to think, like a lot of people think or you want to be looking out of the state or be by water. And then you know you don't like that. then I stayed in a hotel. but the balcony for the sea. It looked out, it's beautiful. And then in bed that night the sea was driving me mad because it was so loud. I really like it in New York. I like Sydney Harbour. Yeah. thoseose are the places that come to mind Oh you could look pull the curtains back and think that that's Yeah, yeah, you know. Amazing someomewhere like that. But then I went for a nice walk in the peak district and you can't go far wrong. No, no, no. Georgeous Sn it. Yeah, it's around there then, yeah. It's just a hundred th no, Alan. A hundred. Yeah, a hundred. I mean, faculties are one thing. Th I'll get on and off the loop Well, you're on your commode. If you're on your commodeevenue shit in the peak district you hear I mean, it you don't have to I mean, people pick at these questions Well, was it rocking chair? I'm not just answering. Yeah, but come I control my bell. Yeah, I know love, come on, I'm not Dct. Hillary. I don't know This is your Captain speaking we are on our final approach to our destination. Cabin crew, get ready for landing, cabin crew, get ready for landing Right, okay, we've got time. We're starting our descent. We've got time now for quuick fire aroundound, okay? Beach or pool? Beach. Adrenaline junkie or adrenaline slunky? Adrenaline junkie. Berlinwall or Millwall? Berlinwall. Alcar or Alcar Traz? I don't know what the first one is. Alcar me Howre you Wow. I've clearly had such an impact on you. I've never thought of you was an.' not Do you ever get called Al? I sometimes do ye. Really? O Of course you o. I was called it at school. Oh oow Yeah. And I quite liked it. so I sort of adopted it a bit. and then some of my friends said, Well you're not called Al. yourour name's not Al. And I felt a bit cornered. and then my cousin who was older than me went past He went, alright Al, and that was the best thing you ever did. You know, with me, I was getting bullied at school and you know bullies get bored, don't they? They get bored to bullying you. And yeah you get towards the end of school and then fucking South Park came out, Big gay Ow. It was like, Oh great. My favourite story about anntidotes to bullying is Steven Fry told me this If he was getting picked on, he would say Stop it, stop it, you'll give me an ereirection Good. I had a time machine know I can do that. Mile high or I'm too shy. You remember the Mile high club? too shy there. A too shy now. okay. Yeah. First at the departure gate. Oh no, I'm always late. I'm always late, you're always late. Hence getting dumped into economy on my way to Costa Rica. I know, listen, I'm gonna start a go fund me page because it's really affected me The polite travel pillow or absolute bollocks. Doould you like a travel pillow? J listen,' It's the end of the interior. Don't spoil it. I' justed. We only got one more, just go with it. Don't pick in it I absolutely love her travel pillow yeah. Yeah. Oh nice. No good, good, good. And last but not least, tip 'em or fuck 'em. Are you a good tipper or you go, haa never see you again? No, I do tip, but not well, notot better Why am I not surprised? So I ask your mirror name's not Ebeneza. So I'm the sort of tip of where where the waiter goes. Who's left their bus fare? My God. Thank you so much, Alan Davis, if you'd like to go and collect your emotional baggage from the carousel. Thank you Thank you Alkar Thank you for flying Alan A Alan that was absolutely brilliant and a and get tickets for his think ahead tour that starts september twenty first in Tura and goes all over the UK and I think it finishes in Edinburgh in October. And as we go, his book, White Maail standand up is out now. Thanks for listening guys. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responssees set upp required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus To kids, summer isn't just time off, it's time gven confidence and curiosity. But when school meals pause, millions of children lose the food they count on. 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