Negotiating a Future Property Purchase

Hey, it's Ry Reynolds from Mit Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for fifteen dollarars a month is back So I thought it would be fun if we made fifteen dollars bills, but it turns out That's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at midmobile dot com slash switch. Upront payment forty five dollars for three months, ninety dollars for six months one hundred eighty dollars for twel month plan reired fifteen dollars a month equival to taxess extra, initial term only be greater than fifty gigabytes slow netk busy terms Am I a cannibal if I bite my nails? Which has poture, eggs, sturgeon or quails? Wh That's a little bit of a coronation street crossover for you right here on Answer Me This. Is it a crossover if it's one direction only? All right, tribute. I did it because you'll remember Helen that last month we were speculating on why characters from Cory have never appeared in any stenders. And listener Eddie has been in touch to point out a soap universe crossover that did happen He says Coronation Streets Rege Holdsworth did appear in the straight to video Emberdale special, The Dingles in Venice. That's nonsense, Dingles in Ireland. Good point, Martin. The dingles in Dingle would have been amazing I looked it up and you can still buy it on VHS for fifteen pounds, I think its value is held. But the full title is ont Look now for dingles and venets. Which I just think in the age of online streaming would be a massive disappointment for anyone looking to watch Don't Look now So It's Red Holdsworth running around in a little red hood Originally they wanted Donald Sutherland, they ended up with Re Holdsworth doing the cameo. And was there an extended sex scene that people thought was real in the Dingles in Venice? Yeah Did you know when Lisa Riley was eating that panini, it was simulated? Happ a of the last episode where we were asked about getting rid of a friendship tattoo that to the questionnaire no longer wants We've hadard this from Maggie who says I have four tattoos, two of which I deeply regret getting I got all of them when I was eighteen, and my friend had just recently gotten their tattoo license and needed people to practice on. That's a fullseconomy isn't it Oh, bargain tattoos, I'll get four. Well that's what Maggie agrees with Ollie. I being eighteen and stupid thought this is a great way to get cheap tattoos. Of course I got what I paid for. Yeah, I fall into that trap before with the student hairdresser Ruse. they're still learning. It's just five pounds, but of course that isn't permanent. I tell you what, Ollie, those people don't want to learn curly hair at all No exactly. Maggie says two of them are matching tattoos with my best friend at the time, we have grown apart since then But unlike your questionnaire last episode, I really like these ones. They remind me of a friendship that I thought would last forever. They look mostly good better than the other two anyway. The two that I hate are a one eyed goat, not a euphemism and blloated ugly fox. Is this like a fox corpse that's been floating around in a river and has got swollen? The fox could be fixed up by a more practised tattoo artist if I ever wanted to get around to doing that, but the one eyed goat has got to go. Right. A totally different friend is thinking about getting into tattoo removal And I told her I would be her first customer Learn from your mistakes. Exactly. My friend is thinking about getting into tattoo removal. Listen to yourself. Find a trusted practitioner Jesus Christ. Let them practice on someone else. Isn't it very expensive thoughain Save up You get what you pay for Yeah, you get what you pay for. Maggie says, As I am a few years older now than eighteen, I can honestly say I will likely never get another tattoo, but good for people who get ones they actually like. I wonder whether when she says one eyed goat, she means cyclops Oo. Is just cyclops a go Well, cyclopeia can affect all kinds of different species, and I know from being an avid reader as a child of Ripleys, believe it or not, that that can include goats. Oh, okay. The two orbits for the eye have failed to form so they come out as well. It happens in humans as well, which is where the cyclops myth comes from. But the point is That had spiritual significance, didn't it for people albeit some time ago. So Maybe if you are stuck with a one eyed goat You could at least answer the inevitable question, whyy have you got a one eyed goat on your whatever with some, you know, classical sounding mumbo jumbo. Oh, it's a powerful mythological symbol of the complexity of human nature. That kind of. Yeah. I like that idea, justust recontextualising the tic. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my cyclops. Yeah. I got it done when I was eighteen because I was just really well read Maybe you could put it in a little frame, like get a frame tattooed around it. So that that adds to the recontextualizing. it's like not just a representation of the goat, it's meant to be a goat that is being looked at in an art gallery. Yeah, that's body art about art, isn't it? Wh. Yeah, wow, Steep We'll be doing more of this sort of thing, by the way, in our occasional live streaming event petty probleroblems, which is returning. What a treat that is. I got a petty problem. A petty problem's not a problem to me. You've got to save the theme tune for the patrons but. That is an exclusive the free feed. It's copyrighted. It's not mine the Per stream Mc. So yes, we do these sort of bi mononthly isish live streams in which we discuss things that aren't very important. Wow. The next one is ten PM on Sunday november sixteenth. That's ten PM UK time, so obviously a different time forllena Martin in North America. and indeed, for some of our Australian patreons, they've informed us, they prefer to watch it afterwards, which they can do at patreonot com slash answer this because it's like seven in the morning there. I'm really sorry about time zones, but they're not our fault. I'm really sorry. That's right, yeah, we're not responsible for those. But the live streams are super fun because what is great is hearing from the people who can make it in real time, chipping in on the questions, giving us follow up information, if it's their question, etcetera It's a joy, a communal answering sess. Yeah. Join us for petty probleblems by becoming a paid up patron at patreon d. com slash answer mee this. Here's a question from Keith in Cambridge, who says, I recently broke my collar bonees As you can imagine, it's quite uncomfortable and I've been having trouble sleeping However, I've had some success sleeping while sitting up I mentioned this to a chap I met while walking the dog, and he said Of course, in the past, we all slept sitting up I nodded And it wasn't until later that I thought, What the fuck is this man talking about? So Helen, rel. Did people used to sleep sitting up or was this fella talking total shit I not total, but definitely partial shit The history of peds Actually beds are, you know quite recent in a lot of cultures. Like in the UK, there were really, really expensive pieces of furniture, so aristocrats had them. but not necessarily Everyone else and also people would sleep communally, even aristocrats on like big piles of hay covered in furs and cushions and feather pads and stuff like that. Yes, Well, because it wasn't central heating and it's a cold country. Right. And also beds aren't necessarily where you'd have sex in a culture where they're full of fleas and aren't changed regularly. you might have sex somewhere else? think The culture was full of fleas, Ollie. you just you just had to get used to the flea life. But yeah, people did have sex in these communal beds because I think the attitude to sex was quite different as well. It wass just like, oh, that's happening. It's a missing chapter of Charlie in the chocolate factory. Oh my gos. All the buckets are there. I do imagine Roaldahell would have written that in one of his adult short story collections. Yes. I always think it's like a magic trick when I see animals sleeping standing up Like it seems so unrelatable to me as a human being that that would be possible. And so although what you're saying about the evolution of The furniture itself is true People who didn't have the money for a feathery bed were nonetheless generally lying down, weren't they M might be in a hamock orr it might be on the floor. they were lyed out. They weren't sitting up, were they? by choice. You know, sometometimes people were and they've advised this now as well, like if you have like acid reflux and stuff, it can be eased. if you sleep propped up. They weren't like sitting bolt upright in a chair, but like Historically people have been propped up But not necessarily to the extent that they would make beds shorter just for that. I think when you go to a stately home, beds often look tiny because the rooms are massive and the ceilings are like twenty feet high, but the beds were all bespoke. so if you were short, you got a bed made to your length. They weren't standard sizes. But also life was generally less comfortable, even in the state we own just had to shit into a piece of wood with a hole in it, didn't you? We went to D shom together a couple of weeks ago when the toilets were those pieces of wood with a hole in I didn't goo for a sitting down we whilst I was there so I did not experience that. Oh, you missed out. Did you have to weed through a hole in a piece of wood mounted to the wall? I think quite a lot of the everyone' left sitting up myth is because in medieval paintings, there are a lot of depictions of people propped up in a bed. which I think was a to make it very clear that they weren't dead because dead people would have been neated like lying flat and B so you could see more of them, you could see their face. All features, ye. Right. And also beds at the time Sagged a lot more. like everything moved around a lot more. If they had ropes suspended, like the ropes sagged during the night with your weight, so you might wake up with your head like higher relative to your body than you'd gone to sleep with it. Sure. I'm not going to sleep sitting up though. If that was something that humans found comfortable, then airlines wouldn't be able to charge an extra two grraam per ticket a bed because the demand would not be there My mum finds it a lot easier to sleep sitting up or partly sitting up in a sort of motorized chair because it's like she has a lot of injuries and physical disabilility. so it's harder for her to get out. And also when I was in hospital, I couldn't lie flat because there was st wrong with my neck. so like Depending how your body works, there's often quite a lot of utility to sleeping not flat. Yeah. Okay, but then that's a different conversation that, isn't it? That's how can I make it less uncomfortable you know, my mother in law as well, she had esophagal cancer at one point. and so she Also sleeps with her head elevated because she's less likely to choke. She's got used to that Yeah But that wouldn't be a preference.s that's less uncomfortable. It's not more comfortable you what I mean? would You would suggest to people who haven't had that would be more comfortable because it obviously wouldn' The myth that often goes around to accompany the in the past everyone'spt sitting up. thing. is that People are very superstitious about breathing in bad air. So if you prop your head up, you're above the bad air. But I was like what difference does like a foot and a half make of elevation Well, yeah, but when there were rats running around on the floor, that must have been quite vivid. Do you what I mean? L being just a little bit further away where your head is, maybe that didn't make people feel better rats can climb Here's a question from Melanie who lives on a small dairy goat farm in extremely rural Ohio. W One of my goats has one eye. Would you like a tattoo of it? she doesn't say Once a month, I make a trip to the post office to mail my milk samples Melanie In like two lines, you've painted such a big picture And I admire that. Every time I go to the post office, she says, I end up waiting five to ten minutes for someone to notice that I'm there It's a small town, there is only one person working there and they often alternate between helping customers and sorting the mail using loud machines in the back I don't want to be rude, but saying hello Excuse me doesn't seem to have a long enough duration or a high enough volume to reach the back of the post office. Today, while standing at the counter, I'm contemplating sort of texting us from the counter. I'm contemplating if a longer series of words might help my voice to be heard in between the cachunks of the male sortter But do I stage a conversation with an imaginary friend? That's an option. Only for the person to walk up and realise I am in fact alone. perhaps a prepared monologue or pretend I'm in a musical and simply burst into song. Helen answers me this, What is the least weird way to have a one woman conversation in front of the post office until you get noticed? Oh, I wouldn't go for the least weird, I'd just go for the most effective. And I love the idea of stating a one person musical I think that'd be such a treat for the person working in the post office, reallyally brighten their day Yeah, I guess if it doesn't, you're then stuck you know, wanting a service that they're providing. Well, you haven't lost anything and you've got some singing practice. What if you wrote a song that was really flattering to the person that works there? How could they possibly resist? would go for the slightly more subtle prettend you're leaving a voicemail as you come in. Yep So then the moment the person hears you could be like, okay bye But you could be talking into your phone loudly Yeah, yeah, we're gonna to do it at five o'clock and this is my number and then it's a sustained series of words that they can hear. That's what I would go for it. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't even need to be a voice over. It could be a fake conversation on your phone as long as you've turned the ringer off, obviously. Yeah. And you could go, Yeahah, I'm at the post office, but I'm not sure if anyone is here. They really should have a little bell, you know, one of the kind of d ones that you slap Totally they should. This is on them. The trouble with the human voice is it's not the frequency that is going to pierce through if all these like loud machine noises are happening So maybe take them a little bell. They need a dog. Maybe buy them a puppy. No, that's too much. Bell Does not require maintenance buying other people puppies Ollie. That's bad. We know that's bad It's like buying some else aragrance isn't it you shouldn't do It's very a personal decision, a puppy. At least you can put a fragrance in a drawer Poppies don't respond so well to that. I've got a question. Email your W job two This podcast at Googlemillot com Hsmend this podcast at Googlemail dot com Hmend this podcast at Googlemailot com Homeend this podcast at Googlemailot com Hey, it's Kelly Rolan. You may not know this, but I have eczema. so I get how it can steal your time. But why let eczema take over when you can talk to your doctor about EBLlS? ElS Lbrchismab LBKZ, a two hundred fifty milligram per two milliliter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children twelve years of age and older, who weigh at least eighty eight pounds or forty kilograms with moderate to severe eczema Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin, or topicals, or who cannot use topical therapies, EBGlS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to EBGLlS. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe, eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. you should not receive a live vaccine when treated with eBGLS. Before starting EBGLS, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection aid partnership with Lillily. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about EPlS and visit EppllS dot com or call one eight hundred Lillily RX or one eight hundred five four five five nine sevenenty nine Bonjour, compomadre, it's the How do I negotiate so many great travel deals? My greatest gadget. The prriceline app. It's got hotel deals, flight deals, rental car deals, all of those deals in a bundle, deals, game day deals, concert trip deals. No one deals more deals than priceline. Hold your horses, there's more It lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level and amenities like pools and spas and beachfronts. Wait, I'm not done. Stop cutting the. Here's a question from Charlie in Canberra, Australia, who says I am Charlie You may remember me from such questions as If Adam and Eve only had Caine and Abel, how did they have children? And what happened to the statues in London of Wenlocock and Mandville? A few years ago, says Charlie, my aunt sent off to one of those DNA websites to find out her heritage On receiving the results, she phoned my mum to tell her that she needs to get a DNA test done urgently.osh It turned out They were part of a scandal from the nineteen fifties where they were actually daughters of a prolific sperm donor Berthold Weisner who fathered hundreds of children out of a clinic in London. Extraordinary. My mother, says Charlie, is hell bent on trying to meet as many half brothers and sisters as she can. blame her. I know everyone would have a different reaction to this. I would like to meet half brothers and sisters too. It's got a lot to choose from And since I live in Australia, she is suggesting I try and meet the quote lost family over this side of the world Helen answered me this Am I a heartless bastard for not wanting anything to do with this debacle? As truthfully, I just don't care Your thoughts are appreciated as my sister is fully invested in this twist in the family's tale. I couldn't care less I don't think you're one hundred percent heartless, but I do think you're fifty plus percent heartless. because This is an exceptional situation. and deal to your mother, so unless you really don't like her Just do her a fucking favour. Like what is the benefit to getting your own way on this? It means so much to her, just do it and if need to Approach it like a documentarian when you're talking to these people. Actually, one of her half siblings is the documentarian Barry Stehvens, who has made work about this situation. Another half sibling is the comedian Simon Evans. Right, Oh wow, that's cool Not cool. interestnteresting. You could meet some really interesting people It's intriguing, isn't it? I mean, this is so many half siblings to wrap your head around because Berold Weisner, it's thought to be at least six hundred children that were birthed as a result of his sperm and it could be over a thousand I think if you found out that you had say twenty half siblings from a sperm doner that would be like whoa. I mean, that's a lot of it's more siblings than most people have, but finding out you have hundreds is just I don't even know how you process that and this is how your mum is choosing to process it Imagine doing a DNA test just for a laugh just for fun and then finding that out That's the bit that's hard I mean, having hundreds is weird anyway, and that's why it's no longer allowed in clinics where you buy sperm to happen in a regulated industry. Yes, there were no regulations until nineteen ninety governing this in Britain. It's mad, isn't it? Yeah. And this was the thirties to the sixties that this clinic was operating It does still happen in informal sperm donation, where people hook up on Facebook. It happens a lot in single sex couples. I've covered this on the modern Man, where lesbian couples will often go to someone who's very sympathetic to their situation who has a particular way of doing it, who maybe doesn't charge because they see it as a philanthropic thing to do, but it does end up with loads of people's kids all having the same dad. because they've met through this informal way online and that's not regulated. No, there's no rules governing that. There's no rules go it, but the point is, usually now, the person who's doing that has a policy of I'm going to be up frront and say it was me all along because the children now have the right to find out it was them later in life anyway So at least all the kids know that their father was this sperm donor who lives in this place and theyd get in touch if they want to I found the story of this fertility clinic Very interesting. Bertold Weisner's wife was Dr. Mary Barton. She was an obstetrician And she founded, I think England's first artificial insemination clinic in the nineteen thirties at which point It wasn't illegal, but it also wasn't legal. L there weren't any regulations governing it And it was very, very controversial because there were two kinds of artificial insemination that she practiced. Artificial insemination by husband, and yes, was the word husband and artificial insemination by donor. And the archbishops at the time were like really furious about the latter. They were like, that's adultery And if the woman's husband, because also they were all married like using these clinics, if the woman's husband puts his name on the birth certificate, that is perjury. because he's not the biological father. So for Mary Barton to be vocal about providing these treatments at that time and publishing scientifically about them was like pretty brave and bold, but people were still very secretive about having the treatments because There was so much taboo around them and she told the parents, you should never let your children know This is how they were conceived and the donors should never be identified But it's also all the more reason then, isn't it? if you're in that very narrow niche to be really transparent and trustworthy It's an abuse of power, isn't it to not say that the father, by the way is my husband, and also by the way, he's the father of most of the children we've produced here. I think about fifteen hundred children were birth because of her clinic And Berto Weisner was a biologist. he was pretty important in like hormone and pregnancy research and stuff that led to pregnancy test being developed and hormone replacement therapy and stuff. but it was his job to find the sperm donors for the clinic. It was really difficult to find donors. like there were some former patients or husbands of patients or acquaintances, but it was still like hard to convince people to do such a thing because of the controversies And it's not clear whether Mary Barton was aware that her husband dealt with that by providing his own sperm. or whether she didn't know that the sperm came from him You'd ask If I work infertility He could be like, oh yeah, yeah, I got this from Bob. You remember Bob, the professor. But you wouldn't be like Dear it Hubby Are you committing posossibly the greatest ethical breach it's possible to commit. in the service of this kind of work It's a hell of a question to ask. I have my suspicions that she'd have her suspicions, but you're right, I haven't looked into it. Maybe that was her line. One vial of sperm looks much like another, I imagine Yeah. And if she wasn't on the on the collection side, he could have just been like, oh, we had a lad of people in while you, you know off at the the day. I mean, this guy must have been masturbating a lot Hm and at work. You would think that he as a scientist would be like, maybe this isn't a good idea. because of all these people that don't know their half siblings maybe meeting and maybe reproduced. Totally. Yes, exactly. Yeah, off all things, if you're a biologist, you know the risks that can come with half brothers and hal sisters to try and reproduce., whichich is you know, possible, isn't it? We've got thousands out there. Yeah. Well I thought it was interesting that the controversy around this wasn't anything to do with that highly problematic aspect and it was because of Archbishops and they made various attempts in the forties and fifties to get the government to pass laws against it One Tory lord called artificial insemination the brainwave of Belzeub. but they didn't because they thought if they passed laws about it, that would draw more attention to the fact that this thing exists and they just didn't want the general public to understand that artificial salmination existed. Even though thousands of people was seeking this treatment and there are only like six providers in Britain, even in the fifties and people came from abroad because The clinic produced results, I guess There were a few other countries that did it. I think in the US and Israel, artificial insemination was practiced much more. openly I wonder whether Charlie's feelings of being interested in this Not wanting to find. f brothers and half sisters. of their own mother is genuinely that they're heartless and don't care O whether that's another way of saying, I don't want to have to deal with this It would be weird to walk into a room full of people who might look a bit like my momum and learn about some traits that I might have inherited. You you describe it like a scene from being Jon Melkovich, I don't think it would be quite like that And that's not something I want to have to deal with because I'm secure and happy in myself and it does. You understand the difference between why a mother wants it and why they as the next generation aren't bothered But is it that they're not bothered or is it that They don't want to open cans of worms. I can understand because I don't really know much about my family and I'm just well, I never will. You know, it's just not a door I've thought was worth opening. It's basically a bunch of strangers that if I tried to meet them. Yeah, like my paternal grandfather was absent for my all this life And he was very clear like, I don't want to know him like fucking. But I'm so curious. I wasn't curious enough to find out more in my dad's lifetime because I knowew it would have upset him. But now that he's dead, I'm just like, I could. It's obviously a different situation. But to be like, I don't care and I'm not interested, that seems a little bit of a strong reaction? But might not be the things that I'm saying. mightight genuinely just not I do not have an interest.. And Charlie's sister is very interested So presumably if Charlie wasn't in Australia and therefore more geographically convenient for meeting certain siblings, then Charlie would just be left out of this whole thing. I mean I've got a weird thing with my cousins. I recently went to a sort of reunion, if you can call it that, of some cousins that live in Australia come over and when they come over our extended family hookup And it's weird because They my I can't even do the maths on cousins. It's confusing. I don't understand the cousins the removed thing. Yeah What is it Their grandfather and my grandfather were brothers, that's how we're cousins. Okay. And I have more in common with them than I do with my first cousins and that's because My dad had an older sister And my mum had a younger brother And there's a nine year age gap between my dad and my momum So at either end of those families, when my parents, siblings and children, they're wildly different ages to me. My cousins on my mum's side are now thirty and my cousins on my dad's side are now like late fifties. So I just never had anything in common with them compared to the ones that are my age And I'm saying this because Charlie saying, basically, I don't care sort of don't know until you meet people how you might relate to them. In the case of the ones I'm talking about, it's by age. When walk into a room and I'm suddenly like, oh, there are people in my family who actually look a bit more like me and behave a bit more like me because they're my age I had a completely different sort of relationship to them than I thought I was going to Yeah, I think there's that. but also even if you felt like The genetic connection is totally irrelevant They all share this extraordinary story. Yeah. story that's fairly recently Come to light. Yeah, it's like the post office scandal, except they're all brothers and sisters Just the way that they're processing that and maybe they want to process that together That is the interesting common factor, I think Sendas Charlie, we'll talk to them for you. We love talking to people with interesting stories. It's our job I've made my fortune on the dark web selling machine guns, but my dream is to monetize my homemade cream buns. They don't sit too well listed next to AK forty sevenun! My poor lone buns. Build your bunch up of dreams using squarespace dot comot There's twenty for seven support if you get it wrong And you'll be selling more guns than guns before very long If you obey the law. I've just been arrested Thanks very much to Squarespace for sponsoring Asw me this. And providing the world with their twenty twenty five refresh, Ellen. O. Everything that they have innovated recently, I'm like, that's a clever idea. Really, what's your favour You know, they've always had templates for all different kinds of websites. so you used to be able to say Award winning templates. award winning. You've always been able to say like, I want a portfolio for my photography or I am a restaurant, so I want a website that's got a page from my menu or whatever. You can now actually search for a template based on your business, no matter how relatively specific that is. So you can now, for example type Dance studio into their product and it'll say, oh okay, well then as a starting point for that kind of business, you want this template with this font and this thing And it sort of tailors it around the thing that you've put in as a prompt fun So we could just be like, you know what, todayoday I'm gonna to pretend I don't make a podcast and just see what my life could look like It can also do a little audit on your site to make sure that your business is visible in AI search as well Be of course it's no longer just about being on Google or whatever.' when people are asking a chat service about a thing that your business is one of those things that can be provided in an answer. So they do that as well Well I mean, I hate even having to think about that, but if I can just deflect it to squarespace, then that's something Exactly. headad to squarespace. com slash answer for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain using our code Answer Hi, Helen and Ollie I'm Claar from Belfast And you might be able to tell by my beautiful accent. And I'm so glad that you guys are far And Hi Martin Pfinly, an to me this Gills had fallen from her eyes does that mean It means that your vision, usually your metaphorical vision, had been obscured, but now you can see clearly, probably thanks to some kind of revelation. which I've never thought about where it comes from etymologically, but I suppose now I think about it, it sounds ridiculous to say, On some level I'd always assumedish fish have scales. So I thought it wasue with dead people, like you put something on people's eyes and then scales falling from their eyes is like they've risen from the dead or something. I mean, you put coins on their eyes That's different to scales. Coins are sometimes used as scales, aren't they? like in big bends to correct the motor so it's on the right time Well, it's not to do with scales as in weighing scales, and it's not to do with coins at all It is more like fish scales, but more accurately than it's like a scale, like a scab, you know, something that's scaly on the human body. But this is a biblical phrase. It's from the Book of Acts chapter nine And it's to do with the St Paul, or before he was St. Paul, when he was Saul of Tarsus and loved persecuting followers of Jesus. Yeah, Big trip to Damascus. prereviously in the Bible. two thousand year old spoiler he was on the road to Damascus. He was struck by a heavenly beam of light and he heard Jesus's voice saying Why are you persecuting me and He was blinded, and he had to be helped to Damascus by his travel companions who were like, I didn't hear or see anything. D don't know what he's talking about. For three days in Damascus, he just sat there, being blind, didn't eat or drink anything. And God was like, Oxate and sent a disciple named Ananias to heal Saul. And he laid his hands upon him delivered blessing from the Lord, whereupon Bible translation, somethinghing like scales fell from his eyes and he could see again And that's when he got baptized and started stning Jesus and that is a damos scene conversion. Literal vote to Damascus moment. To me, this kind of scale seems like he's getting instant cataract surgery or something. Yeahahah Yeah, I was like Is like cataracts are a bit sort of like scales on' there? Is that a sort of metaphor for them? Well, that's the thing. I think people would have been familiar with the idea of like scales on the eyes whereby you couldn't see and you could read it as metaphorical. rather than literal scales. So it could mean like his own ignorance But the point being, it comes to the non literal understanding of the phrase because it was the heavenly intervention that caused it, right? So he's suddenly realized a thing. It's not actually that relevant, what the biological detail of what Crust was around his eyes, is it? The point is, it's the cause of the interaction with the sublime that has caused him to understand something fully for the first time I'm not sure where the actual moment of conversion from being anti Jesus to the point of persecuting people too pro Jesus to the point of becoming a saint eventually comes in this three day period. Is it at the point when the beam of light comes down and hears Jesus's voice? Is it during the three days where he's contemplating because the Bible does not go into detail about that Or is it when he's cured? where he's like, allright, I guess God gave me laser eye surgery via a disciplple When's the conversion Itacks a clear dramatic structure, doesn't it? You just have the one moment where the light came down and he was like, ' Oh I need to stop being an asssehole but it has this extended structure does not fit traditional dramatic tropes. Another question of scales now from Rob, who says, Helen answers me this, How does snake charming work Does it work, or is it just a very dangerous parlor trick to get money from tourists Well, it's not dangerous really, is it? I know that because they remove the venom from them, usually by the side of the road performing a trick because they need tourists not to die so they can continue to be there. Well, moreover, the people doing the so called snake charming need not to get bit, but they tend to remove their fangs And then they sew their mouths up and just leave a little hole for their poke out. Yeah. They can't eat, they can't drink and they die really quickly from that or infection That's awful. Snake time is really grim Modernake charming. I'm going go back to bear bait. that's the sport you can just enjoy. Through history, snake charming hasn't always been th. I think in India, particularly it originated because snakes were sacred And the people who were the precursors of snake charmers were rescuing snakes from people's homes and also healing snake bites. But in the twentieth century because snake charming was considered like this big part of Indian culture became emphasized for tourism and led to these kinds of bad practices, whichich again, I don't think are exclusive to India It is banned there now, technically. But when he says does it work? I think what Rob's referring to exactly. So the bloke on a thing, What is that instrument called? It's like a recorder isn't it's terrible noise? I'm sorry, that's a culturally intensitive thing to say, but that noise is awful. So they go Pgi or punji? A pungi. Okay. And then supposedly the snake is tempted up out of its box to that noise where clearly it's been in a dark confined space. They lift the lid and it's like, what the hell's going on Supposedly it's the vibration, isn't it that brings them out rather than the music? Yeah, they can't hear. So the music is for the human audience. The snakes can feel the vibrations through the ground of that and the snake charalmer's movement and that makes the snake feel threatened. So what you're seeing is actually their defense mechanisms, which is to wave their bodies around and cobras because it's mostly cobras, they spread their things around their faces, they make them big. and The musical instrument It's there for them also because they are following its movements So although they can't hear it, they are fixated upon it. and that is what they are pinning the feelings of upon. Right. Okay, yes, that makes sense because what you see by the side of the street, that's a tame version, literally The snakes to bring them into your performance, you do have to capture a wild snake at some point, right? And I guess that the The pipe music thing. that was used in snake catching. so There must be something in it. They must if they're distracted by it and looking at it That is obviously a way that you can get a snake out from under a rock in the first place, isn't it? No, because they're not charmed They are seeing that as a threatening object. Yeah, I didn't say charmed. So it's not helpful in capturing them because it's just going to make them more likely to attack you. Oh I see, you're better off just going behind them Right, or like grabbing them with a stick that is six feet long so they can't really reach you. I mean, the thing is if you know where to find snakes, they're really easy to find. I went to a wildlife talk in a park in Aldenham. Yeah charm snakes there? Well, they don't have a snake charmer. they have a guy wearing a khaki shirt with a door mat And he puts the doormat down And then a month later he goes back and says, lookook, I put this doorm mat down Come over here, kids. lifts it up, there's guaranteed a stnake under there Wow. W? Yeah. and I had no, I mean, it's a swamp in a country park. so he knows's what I mean? If you know where you're going It's really easy to attract snakes if you know where they naturally live. I didn't even realize we had snakes in Britain at all Anway, put a damp doorm mat down outside your house you'll get a snake Here's a question from Reese in Lincolnshit who says, Ollie answ me this Where does the tradition of an open top bus parade come from Is it just a British thing? Is it predominantly for football? I don't think I've ever seen one for a rugby club or a snooker player It's not just for football, but you're right, it's predominantly used for football now. Olympic boxes were actually the first to have motorized processions. Oh cool. And that kind of tells you a bit about the origins of it in the sense that it's kind of got a sort classical flavour to it, hasn't it? you know, the triumphant warrior returns. That's the kind of vibe, right? of being paraded around And obviously that's how long some form of carriage parade of an athlete goes back. Obviously it used to be horses or slaves carrying the athlete through the streets, but that happened for centuries. And the reason for that essentially is crowd control is easier along a route than in one centralized place with fans pushing and shoving their way to the front. And so then what happened essentially is in the twentieth century, obviously they modernized the horses and the slaves and they got buses. The first football team in the UK to do it often claimed to be Manchester United in nineteen sixty three, although I found a video of FA Cup winners Sheffield Wednesday parading their trophy in nineteen thirty five on an omnibus in Sheffield, which is really cool. So I think what they mean is that Manchester United did the first sort of modern style open topop bus tour, I. e The audience that were congregated to see it were there just for that. That was the event You know, we're going to parade through the city and you're going to come and whereas I think when Sheffield Wednesday ended up, they were literally coming back from Wembley with their trophy a bus, It wasn't necessarily a planned thing in the same way. They were in the open top part. they were in an open top omnib busus, Yes, I'veen the picture. I think that counts. Yeah I think it's. Did take an open top bus all the way back from London to Sheffield without having a plan to wave your trophy around because it's a very cold way to travel A good point actually, yeah, although I'm not sure that that's entirely true either because there was some link between the bus company and Sheffield. So maybe they did take an open top bus after. Oh, it was bus spwn. Yeah big bus Anyway, here are some fun facts about open top buses. Sometimes the demand from the crowd is not there. No. Essex Lower League team the Duck Ponds FC organized a celebratory open topop bus parade when they won their league in twenty fourteen And nobody came. Oh Maybe they didn't publicize it well enough, Maybe that was the problem. I mean, sixty people turned up to their matches each week, so that's still sixty people who couldn't be fucked. Yeah, that's people who like watching football and don't necessarily care about seeing people on a bus. I agree. Of course, it backfired because the news story became how they didn't have any fans. They'd spent four thousand four hundred pounds including a victory banner toed across the sky to parade across Harwich. Sometimes as well, bus tours are arranged pre victory. Oh, that's bold. It is bold. I suppose you do have to pre book a bus There was a famous one where Scotland did an open top bus tour just to celebrate the fact basically that they had reached the international finals in any kind. likeike they got through to the World Cup And so like it's like putut back in their face afterwards It's like, Haha, you remember where they did the open topop buster and then they went straight out there and flunked out the competition, but I think it's more forgivable in international compometition because particularly countries like Scotland and Wales are excited to be included sometometimes Bus tours are arranged assuming victory and then have gone ahead even when defeat has happened instead. You've already paid for the bus, so why not? Why not use it In nineteen seventy six, Southampton secured a shock win against Manchester United in the FA Cup finals. I remember it well But Manchester United went ahead with their planned bus trip. They had no cup to wave. They had a flat cardboard replica fastened to the front of their bus instead. Of course, I don't know very much about sport, but I do know that a significant amount of people love for Man United to lose. and so I can imagine a lot of people would have turned up in bad faith. So the really interesting example on that one Is nineteen eighty six, which is kind of, I mean, I don't know much about sport either, but you know that's kind of like peak h lookanism issues, right Everton and Liverpool agreed to do a shared open top bus tour. Shit really? showowcase the unity of the city. Yeah. Because again, I don't know much about sport, but I know that those two teams don't get along. Yeah. And Everton were defeated in the FA Cup and league by Liverpool and then had to share this bus. So this thing that was cons foreseen as kind of Liverpool's two top teams were like Liverpool's rivals one just having thrashed the other together And there's footage of the squad on the bus, the Everton squad just getting increasingly drunk and miserable as thing goes around Oh Would you do an open top bus? If I don't mean, of course, you'd do an open top bus for fun to see a city. I mean, thats everyone loves that But why not? if you were invited to wave from a bus it would you say yes? What for? Because I've recently successfully mounted a coup against a government I don't know. Let's say it would have to be a podcast parade, wouldn't it? The podcast parade of Vancouver And you get to be on the podcasters bus U It seems like something I would not necessarily gravitate towards doing. Yeah. you sound odie like maybe you would love to have the opportunity to go around on an open bus? No. I have thought this watching the Disney parade It's a hard gig because you just have to keep repeating the same thing because every ten feet there's someone who hasn't seen you ten feet ago Smile and wave, sm and wave is the first time for everyone. And I just think That's not fun actually after about five minutes, is it Two hours Smile a wave, smile w That no one said victory was easy Here's a question from Clebber who says, Ollie, answer me this How should I approach a neighbour who I've known since I was three years old, to discuss the possibility of purchasing her home in the future She is in her eighties. Widowed, lives by herself, her two adult children barely see her And we are noticing that she is starting to outsource the upkeep of the house. She's not wealthy for this sort of thing She is someone that always took a lot of pride in doing it all herself. Q in the housing crisis, the fact that the house is in original condition, so not renovated, etcet, and also the fact that location is ideal to me I can think of many perks to this deal, such as no real estate agent fees, flexibility in the closing date I would let her rent the house for me for as long as she needs. The money from the sale would be a big boost to her day to day expenses so. Olli Answer me this How do you start this conversation? I feel like when is maybe more important than how Okay. Because it can be an opportune. I know this because one man approached me at my father's funeral, which was three days after he died. talk about how his son should run my dad's business. That was too soon. No No. I've Well, he just thought get in there before they make a decision that was not ready for that decision. I wasted my time at your dad's funeral, not trying to get in on his empire. It's hard to know when to do it, though, isn't it? Because if you leave it too late, you wouldd have soved the business. And if you start discussing it before your dad's died, that seems ghoulish too. Yes, that looks like you're gonna murder him. Circling like vultures Probably the worst time. Nots aad time. There's no good time. What about if you wrote a letter though and it meant you wouldn't have to read it at the funeral of your dad three days after he died it was in writing from there, so it's sort of setting prerestent as you're the first claimant. And similarly, maybe this questionnaire could write a letter for her to read at her leisure, so it feels a bit less like well you have to answer on the spot if someone drops around your house and then puts this question to you directly I think that's probably right. I mean if she is in her eighties and she's known you since you were three She'll probably be quite Fnd I presume of you and if there's a letter from you that might be quite delightful. The letter doesn't just have to be about that one businessy thing You can say other things in the letter. Yeah, but don't clutter the letter with stuff because you don't want her to miss the point. You're not trying to get a pen pal. But people in the eighties tend to love correspondence.. Exactly. Yes I think that's right. I think I mean, conversely the other way to do it is to kind of drop it in but drop it in in a casual way, not in a way that feels like you've gone over there to say that particular thing. So If there is the sort of over the garden fence putting the bins out type moment then obviously that's something that you could try and capitalize on using your actual in the moment feelers for whether that would be appropriate or not But I can't relate to this because the house that I live in is exactly the sort of house that lots of people kind of in their thirties and forties want to buy. We live in a one hundred and twenty year old house, so it's kind of charming. It's in a conservation area, so it's pretty. It has what they would call on location, location, location, curb appeal. But it's also kind of small enough to not cost millions of pounds, you know, despite being relatively close to London. So we get these handwritten notes to come through our door. Yeahah. And we've had like maybe the whole time I've lived three or four of these. Do they give you bribes, like a cookie or anything No, but it's strangers And they've come aroundound and written a genuine handwritten note. you know, as you can see it's not been, you know, laser copied. And it's not in like a handwritten style font from their computer. It's not comic sans. Yeah, no. It says, Hello, I'm Anna. I live in wherever. Just to let you know, me and my husband have always been very jealous of your house. We think it's lovely If ever you were interested in selling, we'd be interested in buying, please keep my details and we're not trying to se And actually, I must say, like in my limited experience of financial transactions around property, I would say to anyone listening who cares about my advice pay the extra for an estate agent, Seriously, it's back to the cheap tattoos thing. Like people trying to represent themselves like Just having someone on your side with experience of all the weird shit that solicitors can do and someone who will just balssily defend the asking price is worth it because it's a massive transaction. What does it matter? Yeah, most people with agent in their job title are Satan, but they are good at having difficult conversations about money that you don't want to have And I exclude literary agents from my satanic analysis. You guys are okay You never know the converse to you, you never know What would have happened if you didn't have the agent? but you just there are enough conversations where the agent is useful that I think is worth it But anyway, although I've never replied to any of those notes. You keep them in a folder? I don't, because we're not intending to move, but I'm not dismissive of them is the point It always prompts a conversation between me and my wife, like, you know, okay, yeah, but what would what would you take? That's the point, isn't it We're saying, we don't want toave, we' not interested but it naturally prompts the conversation around the dinner table once you have the letter in your hand. Everyone has a price. Exactly. If it was one point three million pounds then you'd think about it, wouldn't you? Because that's a massive, like ridiculous profit on what we pay for it. So So I guess it starts that conversation So I agree that the letter is probably the way forward I think it's a bit easier to brush off strangers. and in this case, this is someone that they've known for a really long time could possibly frame it as a conversation about how she's doing Are things difficult for her now In case this information is useful, if you were ever thinking of moving, do let me know because blah blah blah You know, just like frrame it as something that maybe could help her during a difficult time Yeah, but you don't want her to report it to her adult children who barely see her as the guy from Ne door is trying to manipulate me into selling. That's why I'm saying, it's like very gentle. Yeah, but you know, they're only going to go on her reportage of that gentleness What if it sounds like you're trying to, you know Well, then you better practice it in a mirror first. Make sure you don't sound like an unscupulous shark But I would say basically go for it What have you got to lose? What you've got to lose is that she won't like it and she'll feel like your're omeone you no longer want to talk to and that doesn't really matter because you don't really talk to it. So you as well try. go for it. Well That brings us to the end of this episode of Answer M This, but if you want to fuel future episodes of answer this, then we need your questions in the form of emails Or voice notes, all of our contact information is on our website. Answer me thispodcast. comot And could you do us a lovely favor if you are so inclind cost's been back for nearly a year And yet every week it comes to our attention that some people are only just learning this. So if you have the opportunity, could you remind people? Yes, Because there are loads of people out there who used to listen to the show back in the day who don't know we're back yet, because the technology doesn't really tell them in the way that it used to. So please, if you've got friends who used to listen to answer me this, just tell them with your actual mouths that we're back or with a I don't know, a mouth of like a talking doll you've got. prorogram it into a buildilder bear, but u If you don't mind telling people, that would be great because personal recommendations are still the best way for people to get podcasts, I think, or for people to be reminded that their beloved, old podcast has been resuscitated from the dead. Exactly. We've actually got a new automatic cat feeder that you can record a personal greeting on. Whoa! You can podcast to your cats Yeah. Olly Man's dream. So yeah, if you've got one of those, program it se people answ me, this is back Th then when they're in the kitchen. it just goes off in the background. They'll be reminded and the animals will be fed. It's a way. You know, use what's at your disposal It'll be veryer much appreciated and also We'd love it if you checked our other work as well. likeike the Ollie Man Stler podcast. Yes, all of my shows are listed upon my website ollimman. com. although I did actually mention last episode that it was the tenth anniversary of the mododern Man this month. Right Conggrrats. Yes, the modern MAWN, pon on my name But I didn't want to spoil the middle feature before the Manfans had heard it, but I can now tell you what it is The interview I've done this month is with a chap called Matthew Caudle from Ohio And he is someone that I've been chasing as a guest, Helen, ever since you and I had our internet slot on Saturday Edition on five five. All those years ago So not It So it sounds quite now, but there was a time when Helen and I used to pop up on the radio fifteen minutes a week and be explaining the internet to people. Here's what's happened on Facebook this week Yeah. Back in twenty thirteen He made a viral video. He was twenty two years old and he made a YouTube video confessing to having killed a man through his drink driving And I remember watching that video then and thinking after he's gone to prison and got himself sober That is a fascinating story. like A, obviously having that experience anyway and coming to terms with yourself, but B Choosing that method to tell everybody in a world where people weren't just broadcasting everything about themselves like they do now and making this kind of professionally produced video about it as well I just thought it was a really fascinating thing and I've literally been chasing him for years through LinkedIn and he finally agreed to be interviewed by me. It's Obviously not hilarious. It's quite a serious interview, but it's a really, really good one. So that's on the Modn Man this month. So it lived up to your long held dreams. It did, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are my dream guests. L I don't have a list of celerities I want to interview. There's a list of people team. slightly extreme experiences have happened. So right now, you could be planning the interviews that you want to get in like fourteen years time There' some we've got in Mc canan that we did years ago that we still can't play for legal reasons. One day we were No way. Helen, what do you have coming up on your other shows? Well, lately on the illusionist, I ran an interview that the very brilliant performer and writer Molly Naylor did on her podcast Making Trouble with me creativity And basically me brain dumping a lot of chaos and despair So you can have that on the illusionist. And also check out Molly's podcast at Making Trouble and her other work. at Molly nayer dot com And also on Halloween, you can see me on the video show ty shades of tay. talking about the film Teen Witch Martin, what's happening? I've taken my music off Spotify. That's the big news. wecome. But if you go to Bangcamp, you can actually get the music, you can just demo stuff, hear what you like and download it. We do quite often get messages to answ me this with people saying that they're playing your old tracks, which is very nice, I think Oh yeah. The band used to be called the Sound of the Ladies, which is a crap name and so I changed the name to Palebird. and I think some people don't know that I've been making music since twenty seventeen as Pale Bird. and all of the old stuff is there as well. It's definitely a better I mean, I don't know if it's a good name, but it's a better name. And it's slightly less likely to suggest that it's a bunch of novelty songs, which it's not it's existentrial folk music. Palebird dot bandcamp dot com d That's the one. there we go. Remember as well this URl patreon. com Slash Answer me this for Petty probleblems on the sixteenth of November. We will see you there if you pay for the privilege. And we're looking forward to it. And Answer mee this we willll be back with a fresh episode in your pod feeed on the last Thursday of the month, which means twenty seventh of November. That's right, yes. Get your questions in now,'ll see you then Bye