Anniversary Plans and Podcast Updates

Hey, it's Ry Reynolds from Mit Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for fifteen dollarars a month is back So I thought it would be fun if we made fifteen dollars bills, but it turns out That's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at midmobile dot com slash switch. Upront payment forty five dollars for three months, ninety dollars for six months or one hundred eighty dollars for twel month plan reired fifteen dollars a month equivalent taxes beess extra, initish plan term only be greater than fif gigabtes slow netork busy terms. Are there any crimes left without their own show on Netflix? Yeah. Is that the blair witch or just a bunch of wet sticks? Ollie Our previous episode caused quite a tizzy for Charlotte. who writes to say I was shocked to hear Ollie say that Kenneth Branner isn't anybody's fantasy. When he was, in fact, my sexual awakening. Goodness. We watched the nineteen ninety six Hamlet in my GCSE English lit class. Oh okay. wasn't his poirro then. It wasn't his what else has he done? Volanda that again Peter's friends. everyveryone wanted to fuck him in Peter's friends Charlotte says I was absolutely taken by Kenneth Brner's Hamlet's intensity and his tiny triangular beard So much so. that it prompted me to write a list of I quote, Sexy old men that I still have today Apparently, this is who my sixteen year old self was into in twenty eleven. And she's attached an image of the notebook that she wrote in twenty eleven. Yep, Sunday twenty second of January. Yes. What I love about it is and we'll put it on the website as well,'swm thispodcast. com. so you can read along if you like is that it's got the names of the gentlemen on the left, David Thulis, Alan Rickman. Kenneth Branner, Vigor Mortison. But on the right the years of their birth. She' actually done the calculations. She's probably got a different list for sexy young men and sexy Neither old nor young men. Youwan McGregor nineteen seventy one. so in twenty eleven he was forty. I don't think he'd have appreciated being on this list with like actually old people Darren Brown's on the list also nineteen seventy one. Jason Isaac's nineteen sixty three and as of season three of White Lotus, he's probably a lot of people's sexy man. Some of the people on this list are basically from Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. She's got a type. That would explain the inclusion of David Wenham, an otherwise rogue choice Faromir from Lord of the Rings. Sxy wizards would have covered it honestly I guess it's interesting, isn't it bearing mind that Charlottes A had a thing Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and B for old men Neither Ian McKellen nor Michael Gambon are on this list. So she still has a cutoff, doesn't she? Maybe that's what the yearar of birth is about. mayaybe anything that has a three in it, she's like Also She's writing this list in twenty eleven, but she's talking about Kenneth Brownner in a film from years earlier than that. So she's got their entire age span to choose from. Yeah, yeah. you know, so it's quite a pragmatic choice in a way. Yeah, but it's sort of, but it's kind of like saying, oh I, you know, Id chse Clint Eastood, well, you know, from Dirty Harry or Clint Eastwardood from talking to a chair viral video. I also wonder whether because Kenneth Branner is playing Hamlet, particular role. His appearance unfurled your loins, Charlotte because he was Hamlet I think if he was Rosenrz, she wouldn't have looked twice at him I'm pleased that the triangular beard did it for you though, with Brana because if you are going to be a Brrenaniac, You have to acknowledge I'd go as far to say of all middle aged British actors, he's the one who shows an incredible willingness to experiment with odd facial hair across his career It's always shit though, isn' it? It's always just completely unconvincing. Yeah. It's always like over the top Yeah, over qufford. Well it depends whether he's being serious Kenneth Brndner like in Hamlet, or whether he's doing the u You know, I'm in a kids film now so I'm gonna to do this stupid Russian accent and my facial hair is gonna to match. That's the other boe, isn't it that he does? Is it because like everyone in the night spent all their time talking about how thin his lips were? and he was like, I don't talking about my tiny lips? I'm going to cover it with face for hair then never going to be focused on that instead. A compellingly simple question now from Nick from Leester, who says Helen answer me this. in a piggyback scenario, Who is the piggy? M Prepare for disappointment Neither Oh sorry lot disappointment. I'm so titillated. No, it's one of those rubbish things Ollie where it's like well People say piggy backack, but that's just a corruption of the etymology which could have been pickpuck or pickerbuck, which meant carrying a burden on your back. Oh, is it something racist from colonial Africa? No, no, it's not It's not but the origin of the words not include pigs. If you do want an etymology that surprisingly is about pigs, sure, you've got a bunch of options porpois, which means pig fish, which is inaccurate because it's not a pig or a fish. Yeah Socket. which meant spearhead but came from Ancient term for a pig snout Okay. and porcelain Yes, that sounds porky. So that doesn't surprise me. Yeah. Like smooth like a pig's what? No, but it was smooth like a cowie shell and sort of translucent. and a Cowri Shell's name in Italian was from the Italian word for a young pig. Porceellis. Yeses. And some people are like, well, maybe that was because The shell looks like the outer genitals of a pig. and I was like, who's what? See, we're not in the twenty first century living in urban areas or even suburban ones as familiar with the outer genitals of a pig, but I feel like that would be a reference Ben that the common person could relate to. You' something you'd see every day like, oh yeah, like like a big scrotum So I don't think that is weird. Or a pig's vulva. Like I feel something based around a cat's bottom is something that I would relate to very soeno because I see my cat's arholes all the time So I just feel like if you kept pigs if people kept pigs, the pigs were around. It's a pigy place It wouldn't be such a weird thing to compare. Okay. Yeah. you've convinced me I had assumed before you rubbish the whole thing I'm just bringing the truth. It's not my fault. Okay, before you informed me with your truths, my misinformation adult brain had imagined that the piggy would be the bottom because I've seen in real life Pig giveive a joy ride to a monkey Yeah Where did you see that just like going down Boreamwood highigh street? Whipsnade Zoo. It's actually not too far, really, Dunable They keep wild hogs and a type of monkey. They've got loads of types of monkeys there, like almost too many Like you get, you get excited to into the monke zone and you're like, Ohh, another one. And then there's one type of monkey that they keep in a cage doesn't really get to roam around. but it's in a caged area with some wild hogs Yeahee, I was find interesting anyway, the animals that get on with each other socially when you think, well did like where did they meet And I don't know if this is a zoo conditions thing. pererhaps someone out there can tell me or whether this happens in the wild. But what was really interesting about this was the monkeys at Whipsenade oo in this particular cage got used to the idea that if they waited on a particular branch for a pig to reverse back into a slot. They could jump down onto the pig and the pig would give them a ride to their next destination and they were riding the pigs. actual piggyback. So's like that must be the answer. That must be where it comes from, like a hsepack. That's a delightful scene because it is not advised for humans. to ride pigs because anatomically very damaging to a pig. Yeah probablybably a monkey, if small be okay But what about child? Uh still like They're relatively heavy for a pig's back and a pig's legs can't bear all that much extra weight. What about a small person pretending to be Tom Thumb in a turn of a century Freick show? Could he write a pig He did, whether he should have or not. I was once in an absolutely atrocious stage production of Tom Thumb and no one wrote a pig, but I would have loved to have ridden a pig straight out of there neverever to Return. Now who wrote Tom Thumb as performed by young Helen Ztzmann? Oh God, it was Henry Fielding, but he'd written versions and the director had cobbled them together into one version that did not make sense and was not entertaining I can't remember if I've told this story before But the real nadir of performing this play at the Edinburgh fringe in two thousand one. shhout out to everyone who came to see it all through. Yeah all nine nine people enduring that misery. Luckily it was not popular. You're kidding me. Tom Thumb, household name Towards the end of the first act, my character is like lying asleep on a sofa or passed out drunk or whatever And there was another character on stage played by someone called David And as I was laying on the sofa, I heard David break character and say to the audience, You're supposed to laugh at the funny bits and then left the stage with just me on it. Oh good lord. Horrifying. And but you sted in character. I did. I'm a professional and I was a student actor in Hamilton Did you discuss it with him afterwards? The five cast members were all sharing this one bedroom flat in Edinburgh, which had like carpets nailed over the windows The walls were like this streaky red, like there'd been a massacre in there and someone had tried to make it look like Linda Bark paint effects. So I think we all just didn't talk to David after that. Yeah, ye. It was unfair to blame the audience for not laughing. Yes. because it was a real feat to find something to laugh at Yeah. I mean, I've only ever once seen that done. It wasn't in a play. It was a stand up comedian who was a well regarded stand upp comedian who like if I said his name you'd be like Oh yeah, he's really good. Tell me his name and I'll cut it out see. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. And I went to see him because every said, he's really funny, He's really interesting He's really unusual. you'll like him. And it was Edinburgh It was fine. The show was fine. It was lightly humorous and a bit weird, so it wasn't laugh out loud, funny really And then about half an hour into it He just like completely like because he's a character comedian Dropped character could be like slump to shoulders I just looked out into the audience said This isn't really working, is it? I mean this just isn't working. I feel like I don't know why like yesterday, people were laughing at this bit, but it isn't really working. And honestly, what's interesting is people always say, don't they to comedians, Oh, it must be really embarrassing when you die, but it's much more embarrassing for the audience. Like for us watching, the comedians already made the choice to expose themselves and then can forget about it But for me in the, I still remember how awkward that was. because like suddenly he's inviting interactivity. about how it's not working when it was And what can you say above trying to reassure him, but then Then all the pretense has gone like he's lost it That's the thing you cannot bring a gig back after telling the audience it's not working. And I've seen comedians shoot down some perfectly okay gigs or salvageable gigs and then they become Awkward to hostile. Yes. yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah because everyone wants it to be over but can't say you just get that vibe Yeah, and terrible to say But one of the comedians I saw deal with it best was Russell Brand. Oh really? How so? Yeah. many years ago. So it was when he was like somewhat TV famous for presenting Big Brrosers Big Mouth, but not yet super tabloid famous because he hadn't yet had sex with Kate Mos that made a met tabloid figure. And my brother used to do this political standup night called Political Animal And comedians would come and do political material. And there was one comedian on who had a decent career doing clubs around the country and halfway through his set. he left becausecause he was like, sorry, the audience is too small, I can't do it. It was like fifteen, twenty people. So he said those words on stage. The audience is too small, I can't do it. And walked out during his set So fucking rude. Yeah. You're there. I mean, think it. And walk out at the beginning. Don't start the act and tell the audience they're too small. What are they supposed to do? That was avoidable pay. Yeah, that's an unforced error. But it's just like so un professional. So then Russell Brand is next on and he's like, this is a pretty good crowd for me D definitely couldn't have been true. Yeah Shes everyone on side straight away? Yeah. And then he did a very good set of political stand up because it was before he went mess ianic and truly terrible Anyway, we got onto this because talking about pigs. Right? Yeah. If you want there to be a pig in this scenario, it be more polite of the human to give the pig a piggyback. Yes I think a human could give a small pig a piggyb ride. I don't know. I'd be worried about splitting their legs. Maybe you could get a special harness like a pig harness? Yeah sure. Like a baby bjorn for a pig. Y That would be fine Yeah. good what a journey. Solved next A, hereere's a question from Grace from Portland, Oregon, who says, I got married last weekend. Congratulations. And my sister, as Maid of Honour, gave a speech during dinner. It was full of the usual sisterly lo niceties. Oh, I love you so much, blah, blah, blah. Buts per Cering Buts But ye there was one bit that caused me to really pause She told a story about how early in our relationship, my now husband was such a good sport to go cross country skiing with me about how he fell down lots but kept getting back up. Pving both his love and resilience thing is He is an excellent skier and always has been. He is a lifelong skier and was even on the ski team in high school It's actually me who can't ski who falls down a lot, but strapped on those skis to prove my dedication to him. The truth gets funnier though I'm Norwegian AKA born with skis on my feet actually I am thirty seven and taking lessons, I'm puzzled as to where her backward story came from So Ollie answers me this, what is the protocol for correcting the record from an inaccurate wedding speech? Do I tell her the truth and risk embarrassing her? or allow her to hold the incorrect version in her memory forever Add subtitles to the wedding video seems to be the best way to do it. Are you going to send out a list of corrections to all the guests? Because I did Well there's a lot going on here Just to directly answer the question though Actually it' Russell Brnd comes up in this as well, who thought No. not again. Recently, I met up with someone who I hadn't seen for twenty years, and the last time we saw each other was when we were working with Russell Bran for the day. Oh, I remember that job for you ye. Yeah. Both of us had the experience of it being an exciting and glamorous opportunity and also the worst day of our professional lives And we shared that about it But what was really interesting was, I've been telling a version of that story from my personal experience for the last twenty years., haven't seen her for twenty years She wanted to share with me everything that she was like, Ohh my Godd, wasn't it so weird, this and this? And all the things she picked out were totally different to mine. And half the things that I was like Yeah, but then this happened and this happened. she was like No, that wasn't like how it happened at all. Really? Like we could both agree he was a massive bellnd and it was horrendously stressful. But we couldn't agree on the actual timeline of events that had made it so awful. And so I feel like Very often people's perceptions genuinely skew around It's not a false memory. No. It's maybe like imposing a narrative afterwards. Yes, exactly. T to make sense of something so that that it's satisfying. because this is a speech she's given So in her mind, she's made this arc of a speech. and has actually forgotten that that's not what happened. I honestly think that's probably what the case is. Yeah, mayaybe she was like someone was shit at skiing Yeah. and it was more likely him because my sister's Norwegian. She was born with skis on her feet. Hell of a birth story. But memories are so fallible, aren't they? Th then you fill in the gaps with things to make the little shreds stick together better. Well, also if it's anecote Like with my Russell Brndon, you've spent two decades telling everyone this story Yeah It's your version of the truth. You've forgotten which bits you embellished and which bits have come from the source material And I've had that before as well when I've interviewed people because I talk to people about their life stories on the modern Man. and I've had people that know that person say, well, that's not what happened And I've definitely not felt that the person I'm interving is a fantasist in any way. And I'm not sure that the person who's telling me that it's not how it happened is right either. I think the trreat is probably somewhere between the two And people just misreember things. I'm saying all this because I feel like Don't tell her directly like you've told us that she just got it completely wrong because she probably won't think that's funny. She'll probably think, oh shit. That's the thing that you're hung up about from your wedding and there's nothing I can do about it now It's in the past But By all means do keep mentioning in real life that you're taking your skiing lessons so that slowly over time she corrects the version. because what will happenens is she'll forget that she told that story and she'll misreember the wedding speech as the other way round if you inject her with enough truth serum And the other thing that I thought you could do is a humorous way to deal with this in the future, perhaps is if she is not yet married but might be in the future and therefore reciprocally you become her maid of honor. Oh revenge. Your whole speech can be this. In the roasting bit of her before you get to the lovely Dovey bit, you can then reveal that she completely fucked up her wedding speech to you. And that's then funny in that context because she just made up a load of shit about you, but you love her. That's okay. You've got to be very careful with your fact checking if that's the approach you choose because's true. Un impeachable. Oh wow, yeah. You've got a question. Qestion Quest Job. email your questionsish podcast atmail dot com Anser me this podcast at Google M . this podcast at Googlebarot com Take your flexibility beyond the mat with PayPal Pay nothing at checkout. Then enjoy a flexible monthly payment plan that works for you. With no sign up or late fees. F findind yours then, and an easy way to pay. With PayPal. downownload the PayPal app to get started. Subject to approval pay mononthly consonsumer loans made by WebBank. Available through PayPaling N ML nine one zero four five seven. Len more at payPal. com slash pay monthly And we're live on Match dayay as Doug reaches for a buffalo wing. He's got it. Oh and he's gone for a can of Pepsy too. What a finish There's no doubt about it. it just tastes better. Match days deserve Betssy. Here's a question from Peter, who says, I've been listening to a lot of pop and disco music, and I've noticed many mentions of a drink called chherry wine Oolly, answer me this. I've never seen or tasted cherry wine. Is this an American thing Something from the seventies or eighties that's fallen out of fashion, or just a combination of words that sounds good being sung by Prince or Janet Jackson And Jermaine Stewart, don't forget Jermaine Stewart. you don't have to take your clothes off. You can leave them on and rub one out into some cherry wine. Oh that's what those lyrics are. Thank you for finally enlightening me. I mean, that's a classic. And actually I assumed from that context, by the way, before I did this research becausecause what he's saying in that song, of course, is All right, chill out. we don't have to go straight to fourth base, right? We can just Keep our clothes on for fun. It was also written in nineteen eighty five, so there was a lot of fear about transmission of AIDS So it was a song in response to that Interesting. Okay, fine. but the point is anyway, what he's saying is let's not we don't have to get it on Marvin Gay style I thought in that context, cherry wine must be non alcoholic like ginger beer because what' say like let's do it deccaf. It's kind of what he's saying, right But actually Surprisingly to me, so thank you for asking because I've learnted something and I like cherries and I like wine. It is wine made of fermented cherries rather than grapes. Strong well. It's a strong wine. And it's also like very commonly made in Michigan I think they have a lot of cherries and they're not afraid to wine them. This is interesting. yes. when he says is it an American thing? I mean isn't isn't All around the world, people have traditions for making cherry wine. you can make it do you make it anywhere there are cherries. However I grew up in a maj cherry producing region and a booze producing region, then I never saw cherry wine. Because it's not that great, right? But the reason it is popular in America and therefore sort of is an American thing is because of prohibition becausecause obviously what happened in prohibition, people got into homebrews So you can either have like toilet hooch like they' make in prison M If you're in a part of the states where it's easier to get your hands on some cherries than it is to get your hands on some grapes You're making cherry wine, aren't you? As your loophole booz? Yeah, And actually cherries are maybe an easier crop than grapes for a lot of climates It's rarer than grape wine because it doesn't taste as nice also it doesn't age. It's not just a case of like it doesn't age as well as grape wine. It like does not age. drink it within a few years. Owise it gets too fermented and spoils. Right. So therefore, like even if you're a cherry wine producer, you deliberately make less than you think you're going to sell so that you sell them more because they can't sit on the shelf Oh, that's very interesting I mean, I have a number of theories about why particular form of booz would be so popular in lyrics I texted Charlie Harding, who hosts swwitch Jn P us. Yeah. He thought maybe it's nostalgia for earlier songs mentioning it When I was looking it up, there's a song from nineteen thirty one by Jimmy Rogers Country music pioneer and railroad man, the lyric was, I'm going where the water drinks like cherry wine because the Georgia water tastes like turpentine Okay, so that doesn't that doesn't rhyme any better than just wine, does it? Well, okay, but this feeds into my theory. You've got like three syllables to play with. you're ending on like I've forgotten the term for scantonlly, but where you like end It's something called male and female rhmes where it's D d or d da. Cheryl Crow rhymes Cherry rhyine with Valentine. So It needs to have the three. You can't do Merlaot wine or no one calls it that, do they don'one call it's Chardonet wine? They don't call it that. They just call it Chardonnet, yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So if you're just using the word wine, I was thinking that word could quite easily get lost. whereereas cherry wine, you've got a two syllable lead up to the word wine. And then there's other things that make it quite a useful word. It implies redness, whereas other wines you like reed, white, rose, orange. Fizzy? It's pretty strong but quite sweet, as is port, but port doesn't yell romance But when you think about the artists that he's mentioning here, Prince and Janet Jackson I don't know, but I reckon they're roseet drinkers They're not drinking cherry wine Did prince drink? I mean Be of his religion. If he's gonna drink, it's roose. That's what I say. Raspberry Rse The kind you buy in a fruit wine store There lot' in Minneapolis. I also thought, wasas cherry wine something that underage drinkers drank because it was a bit sweeter than other boozes. Yeah. And therefore, is it giving this like lyrical evocation of heady teenage Aivities But it's a dessert wine. Ultimately, it's a dessert wine. That therefore is something middle aged people pair with cheese. Oh, and it's got anti inflammatory properties, so for the middle aged joint, mayaybe that's why it appears in so many softs. So in all seriousness, I was thin about so I think I've mentioned on this show before that I suffer from gout. Cerries are known to be anti inflammatory and they are recommended when you have an inflammation of gout and you don't want to take drugs And like my first thing that I turn to when I've got inflammation of gout I can leave it a week before I take the hard stuff and just see if I can deal with it myself is like distilled cherry juice, fresh cherries, obviously sour cherry pills, like cherry, cherry cherry The thing that causes gout, I mean of course mine is caused by excess consumption of spinach But one of the things that causes gout is wine and beer. And so I wondered like, is this the ultimate gout proof drink? Like it's win about cherries like counter balance the alcohol. you could get into marketing this to the The gout afflicted Do you think that another reason for cherry wine to be a lyrically popular drink because of the metaphorical usage of cherry As in popped my. Yeah suggestion of like youth. That is probably what Joe M Stew's going for, isn't it? Well, that's contrary to the rest of the message of the song Yeah, well, no, because he's saying We're worried about having sex, but therefore, it's sex reference, isn't it But then there's a hosier song from twenty fourteen Cherry Wine And that's about intimate partner violence. Well, who knew that a fruit wine could have so many meanings in so many songs? I know you're right But then of course, like if you looked for the same things for champagne or beer, there would be thousands of songs. So maybe it's not that weird. Maybe people just like to write about alcohol and actually it's It's actually unusual in that there's only a handful of songs about it because it is cherry wine There's quite a lot considering it's cherry wine. Exactly, there's quite lot considering, but I mean, you know, proportionally, how many songs are there about drinking beer? It's probably about right, isn't it? I think it's been quite restrained of us to talk about fruit wine for several minutes without trying to do a Mira Rosen Sitz Creek impression. Oh that's so that's so good. If you're making it yourself, by the way, Remove the pips first, they contain cyanide Oh! useful piece of information for you Well, that adds a whole new level to these lyrics You don't have to take your clothes off ' because I'm going to kill you with alcohol. Dump you in the canal. Pople built my website. He did his best. It's pixilly and spammy and nobody's impressed. To be fair, he died twelve years ago, he can't update it whilst he's at rest. Not that he would of anyway. Well with Squarespace there is nothing to upgrade ever their sites update themselves. Isn't that clever I wish my uncle could see it, but now he's gone forever He love websites. He would have died twice Thank you very much to Squarespace for sponsoring answer me this. And making it easy for you to design beautiful websites, yada, yada yada. Classic squarespace stuff, you know it? Amazing how many things there are to say about Squarespace, but it is worth saying this They do sell domains, yes, as you'll know from Auspiel. However If you have in a previous, less well informed life Made the mistake Buying a domain. from one of their inferior competitors. and now want the ability to design with squarespacace' super easy and beautiful templates You can just port your domain over. like you can take your domain that you purchased from somewhere else pointed at squarespace. That is what I do with Ollimman. com. I edit and upload everything through Squarespace just the same as if I'd been clever enough to buy the domain from them in the first place Go to squarespace. com slash answer. Play around with the two week free trial And then, when you're ready to launch, you can get ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain if you use our code Anw Here's a question from Colin who says I am an expat, born East Coot, Middlesex, living in Florida for the past twenty six years, cleaning pools From East Coat to Florida, the Collin story. Ollie answer me this. How did they clean pools before the arrival of chlorine Did people just swim until it got dirty and then they emptied the bool and refilled it? Yeah, that's the one It was a pretty gungy and gross process when you did empty a pool then like scrubbing all the algae off the side as well because it hadn't been kind of chemically broken down. so it was like a pond In ancient Roman times, they had aqueducts to bring fresh water through the pools because also bathing was like such a culturally important thing. Yeah, and pumps. I remember from our visit Helen I visit Britain fifteen years ago, to the Roman baths in Bath But there is a big pump room it's called the pump room. is actually now a place you get afternoon tea and it's got a chandelier in it But I presume that's what originally that was. It was replenishing the water with a pp because in that case they built it near the natural springs. As you say, if they weren't natur springs, put it by an aqueduct So yes, you'd have the water replenishing itself possible in the ancient births But still, even then A full empty and refill would be required to thoroughly clean it because it was. And if you read Historic accounts of people who went to the Roman baths full of oil and sweat and body fluid, which is why when you think about it that thing of private baths at home, you know, you see sort of depicted on urns and stuff. of Romans having private parties at home and sometimes more than that when the cherry wine comes out. That's because it was the height of sophistication to be able to afford private bath so that you could invite your friends to share only your mutual body' scum. Like didn't haveone else's body's gum in there Mega wealth, which now like Gwyneth Paltter has her own spa It does look very nice, but again it is like I don't want to have to mix sweat with the commoners. It's interesting, isn't it? Colin works in Florida cleaning pools. So therefore the people that are paying him A rich enough to A have a swimming pool and B pay someone else to clean it But there's been a shift, hasn't there? There are ten point four million residential bills in the USA. W. Whereas back then, The maths was Celro level. Like if you could own a pool then you would employ lots of stuff to clean it for you because they're cleaning everything. if you were that rich in the first place The owner never had to be bothered with what happened like what did we do beforelorory and then Kid set a slave out there. Like it's fine. people cleaning it constantly. The replenishing water that we're discussing, yes was part of it. You'd also allow periods of allowing the water to sit so that the scummy sediments would sink to the bottom and you could fish them out like you would now with with the a net Well also, you know, a lot of the time people would have been swimming in rivers, lakes and the sea anyway rather than pools. And then when municipal pools became a thing in eighteen hundreds They had filters. they had sand to be a filter in the bottoms of pools was sandy for a fairly long time. And then I think Chlorine brought in what like early nineteen hundreds. The first pool in the United States to be disinfected with chlorine was at Brown University around nineteen ten. And then liquid chlorine was developed in the nineteen twenties. But earlier than that, germ theory in the eighteen hundreds pasteur and all of that, you get the idea. We should introduce chlorine to drinking water. So that happened all around the world. consequent reduction in cholera and typhoid And then let's try adding it to swimming pools And now it's still not really been replaced. like the peltro types will often have a copper lining to their pool or they willll use salt water becausecause they'll say we're trying to use more natural stuff and we're trying to filter it using different things that aren't so harmful as gllory. Actually, well, A, they're using salt in the first place because Sodium chloride, right? It's chlorideine in anyway that breaks down And B, they add a little bit of chlorine. L It is just not advised not to have any chlorine in your pool because people can die Not many people, like six people a year, but people can die by having sort of weird fungal infections and stuff that have been heated up in there So even if you have a natural modern posh pool, you tend to put a little bit of chlorine in there So well done Cin for finding the growth industry Here's a question from Kyle from Stanstead, formerly Edinburgh And he's in the Stanstad airport at the time of writing this email. I am currently in purgatory, he says, That's how we was there. Sorry and I've spent so long delayed that I've finished the book that I plan to read on my flight. while eating far too many bowls of lounge crisps. Youve got to make the most of the lounge crisps. I've just come to WH Smith to pick up a new book, and I am shocked that they are all Massive I mean just short of a four size Well, it doesn't take much to knock us off our axis, does it? They're all marked airport exclusive But I know that the same books are on sale outside of this captivity in usual book size. So Helen answks me this, does this exclusive refer to the size of the pages in the books? I have some books in my bag of a range of ages and publishers, and they're all what I thought of as normal size books, not this airport expansive version. You can really tell that he's got the time to write this email, haven't you? becausecause it's a two sentence email that expands across five paragraphs. And he's got rage bubbling up from other sources. Yes you channel through to this If that's the case, he continues Why would airport exclusives be bigger? Surely, a tighter print in a smaller book suits the traveler more Hoping that you can shed some light and reassure me I'm not just losing my grip on reality. Steady on I too want the convenience carl of a book that is less huge. won't trp my carpal tunnel. So this two Major sizes of paperbacks, A and B A is the sort of regular ones that quite small B is trade paperbacks in British publishing parlance, which are the ones that are basically the size of a hard back but in paperbag. And They're often produced on better quality paper than the A paperbacks, but they're a bit less bulky than a hard backack And there's also some like publishing industry blah blah blah, whereby effectively, like different entities of a publishing company will release the hardback versus the paperback. So like the paperback might be released by a completely different imprint, but the trade paperback Same one as the hard backack. Right. It is dull if they have done the hardback edition They don't have to re set it to fit a different format. They can just like print it onto this book the same way that they did the hardback Whereas for a little paperback you have to redo it. Isn't it just the case that You're getting a paperback edition of any size. where in a civilian shop that wasn't on an airport It would only be available in hardback So it is a more convenient travel friendly version of that book. than you could get anywhere else. but obviously an actual paperback would be more convenient But that may not come out for another year. Is that, isn't it? It is basically that. in the UK and Ireland. I don't think this pertains to all airports everywhere and some places don't release trade paperbacks at all. Also there's something to do with like taxation at airports whereby they get to sell this thing early Whas other Other bookshops outside of airports are stuck with just hardbacks Imagine if they did that with magazines. L you got like an A three broad cheheat version of Okay. Do you what I mean? Be you're in the airport Oh yeah, just to intrude on the space of the person sitting next you on the plane. Yeah, that's true. I read FT weekend, but I will not take it on a train. I just come That's very considerate. In the gust of wind, you're fucked What about if you cut it into small pieces and put it on a clipboard or in a binder? Yeah, that wouldn' make me look weird. Yeahah. That would look like I was about to make a ransom note. It's good to be ready. Yeah. I do think the book situation in British airports tends to be a bit more taudry than in other ones because like in British ones, it's sort of celebrity memoirs or whoever's the Andy McNabb of now. That kind of book. Yeah, exactly. It's whatever's in fashion. so if that's misery memoirs, it's those, if it's celebrity memirs, it's those, if it's parody books, it's those. Whereas other airports I've been to, you can get quite a classy selection. I bought the memory Palace book in an airport Unthinkable in Britain But reggardless, Kyle, you should treasure the opportunity you've had to visit a WH Smith of any kind because Oh What's happened since I left the country? Of course you don't know about this, do you? No, my god. You think you're gonna come back to Britain and see W H Smith Fucking think again It's's gone. It's been replaced. It' I can't believe they did this, like overnight Oh, I'm excited to tell you about this if you don't know It's such a bad rebrand. It's like AI did it. I don't know if they thought people wouldn't notice, but overnight, WH Smith on the highigh Street. And for international issues, I should explain This is a high street brand in the UK that's been on British High streets for two hundred and thirty three years And also is incredibly ubiquitous and has very high name recognition. And you're saying they've just like trashed all this. Overnight, they have rebranded as TJ Jones What Yeah. This is even worse than the HBO HBO max, max back to HBO. Yeah shit. Oh, it's like if the cracker barrel thing had the guy for lating a f. What happened was The business of WH Smith for a long time has been dependent on the airport part of the business and the railway is station part of the business to make profit The ones on the high street for like twenty years haven't made money. That's why they say, Ohh, you're buying a copy of the Daily Telegraph. wouldould you like twenty wholealnuts? Because they have to do these weird promotions. And you know, that's why they were chaotic and like The lighting was on full max like a sunbed and the carpet was blue and disgusting becausecause they couldn't rebrand them and they couldn't put any money into them because the only profitable bit of the business was the airports and train stations. Well if they turned the lights down a bit, then they would have saved a bit of money money? Tell me about it What they did is they sold the H street business to like a financial conglomerate who want to milk it for what it's worth and shut down a load of stores, presumably, and then kept for themselves the profitable part of the business, which I guess Makes sense bit that doesn't make sense is Why didn't they rebrand the ones in the airport? Like as Kyle is expressing When you're in the airport, you are the captive audience. In any case, they're called the bookseller by WH Smith, right? When you're in Heathrow They could just call it the bookseller. No one would give a shit No one's like, I'm going to go to WHmith when you're in the airport. You just go to one of the five shops and the one that sells books is the one that you go to. Why didn' they sell the brand on the highigh street with the shops, give it a fighting chance? I cannot believe that they just changed it to TJ Jones overnight. It's such an insult. Yeah, but capitalism makes a lot of terrible decisions, Ollie. If you Google TJ Jones books, right? and again, internationalisers should be aware Half of what WH Smith does is sell books. You get the website of an author called TJ Jones. I even fucking Google it. They didn't even see there's someone called TJ Jones who writes books. And that TJ Jones is not the one who's bought W. O Smiths? No Unrelated There's of course of completely fictional names that you see what they've done. Like Smith's popular British surname, Jones is the other one you think of, twoo initials in front of it incredible own goal Unbelievable. Probably the most terrible thing that's been happening in Britain lately. I think that's right. Helen Oliver Though life is full of questions, there are answers you must know No, it will not fall off but moder in all things two. Yes, there probably is, but we won't find out in our life times three. Most people prefer cholerie, but my personal favourite is doll turn four. If you try and slip one, it would ruin your friend And sh Here's a question from Laura from Leeds who says, I was out shopping with my sister the other day and we came across a lot of homeware that had star signs on it While neither of us believe in astrology, we both enjoy that kind of aesthetic. So I started to look for stuff with Capricorn on. That's how they get you into astrology Is that at first and then you're like, Oh, I can't buy electrical goods this month because my horoscope told me not to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. starts with scatter cushions, then dump your boyfriend. Wh I was looking My sister told me that she feels uncomfortable displaying just her own star sign in her home. Jself. Why? As a cancer, she said. It felt a bit weird and distasteful to have anything like that on display Is it because it has the word cancer. it's not just pretty maybe. you just have a crab. It's a crab. A Iong? it' a crab, right ye Yeah? It's a crab. It's ara thisistasteful b of crab. Hence what it's doing could be picking its nose This got me wondering why we use this same word cancer in astrology and in medicine. So Helen answers me this Oh, it's like an episode of Simpsons this, isn't? It starts one way, completely different. What is the link between cancer the star sign and cancer the disease? Is one named after the other? or do the words originate from different places? The word crab in English originates from like a a Germanic rooute Crab the creature in Greek is the word for cancer, the disease and the star sign. The word in Greek is cararkconos. It's sort of meant hard originally and then it meant crab and cancer was named after crabs, you can hear that origin word as well in like carcinoma and canker And cancer was the word for cancer in English for hundreds of years. And now it's the word for ulcer in American, isn't it But is there a direct visual connection? Like I get that there's a linguistic one, but were people thinking crab were they thought cancer? They were thinking crab. Hippocrates, the often called father of modern medicine gets the credit for calling cancer after crabs either because of the aggressiveness like a crab or because they thought that the profile of tumors kind of resembled crab O it could have been because of the tenacity of a crab to hulling on to things. S see some things because at the time it was it was rare to be able to cure cancers, although they did misdiagnose quite a lot of things as cancer at the time. To be fair, it was like two and half thousand years ago So yes, they saw crabness in the disease. And often they do see animals in disease like alopecia is from the word for fox because foxes often get hair loss I've never seen a boald fox to my knowledge Remember they've got two pays That would make sense. they are London foxes The particular crab in the constellation supppposedly is Karkinos, the giant crab who features in some but not all versions of the second of the twwelve Labors of Heracles. While he was busy trying to kill the Hydra The crab attacked his feet And so Heracles stamped on it and as a reward to the crab for dying The goddess Hera put the crab into the sky The Greeks are good like that aren't they like having stories for everything that you can see. And yet they didn't have a fun song that the crabbs sings like they do in the Little Mermaid. it's missing Well, maybe they did and it just hasn't lasted. Under the feet of Hercules? Yeah, it could have been an Hercules, couldn't it? That was after the little m made they, so maybe they felt that the crabs ship had sailed. Ricardito in Brighton has sent this question, Ollie answer me this Why can't characters cross over to different TV series sometimes Wouldn't it be great if a character from Coronation Street had a cousin in Walford and appeared in a few episodes of East Eenders Only example I can think of was when Tanya Turner in foootballer' Wives got banged up in HMB Larkhall in the series Bad Girls. It was brilliant. So Are there more examples of this? What are the barriers that stop this happening more I suppose the barriers between different fictional universes. Well, and the creatives and executives that control the IP. I mean, you can't just take a character from someone else's thing and put them in your thing. Probably the copyright lawyers are the most significant in yeah Exactly. I assume also expense schedules of different actors. I think it would take the audience out of the fiction quite a lot. by seeming too much like a gag too self conscious. Exactly. It's saying to the audience, we too are a work of fiction, isn't it? Whereas the whole point of universe building is that you buy into the reality of what you're watching. I mean, when you think about it, the way that Rick Arito set up this question I realize in twenty twenty five, soap operas aren't as big as they used to be, but nonetheless. think about it in the history of Coronation Street You've never shown a family sitting down at eight PM to watch she stendnders. I mean that's completely implausible, isn't In Core, East Enders doesn't exist I suppose you could have a character who is in East Eenders because in both worlds neither show can be there, otherwise they'd be watching it in a slice of lifeife kitchen sink drama, set in Britain. We were talking about Phoebe and friends. She as in Lisa Kudrow playing Phoebe was Ursula's twin sister from Mad About you. And that's basically because Mad About You was made by the same They liked what Lisa Coutre was doing Mad about you. They wanted basically the character she was playing in that, which was a waitress at Riffs to be Phebe but then thought, Well, Mad about you as a massive NBC sitcom, so it's odd to cast the same actor. and we don't want that exact character So suddenly she had a twin sister So Phoebe Buffet had a twin sister also played by Lisa Cudau who was in mad about you and went on according to the last episode to be the Governor of New York. Speaking of Fs, they also had a visit from a couple of doctors from ER Fairly early on. Oh right, yeah, that I wonder if they're just like filming on the same lot or something No, it's NBC Cross promotion, isn't it? This is nineties peak Musy TV era. Well, that happened really recently as well because there was a crossover episode between Abbott Elementary and It's always Sunny in Philadelphia, both of which Philadelphia said Are you familar with this sn elsewhere cinematic universe. I'm not. and Esewhere was a medical drama in the eighties and spoilers. In the final episode, we learn that the whole series is happening in the mind of an autistic boy and This has led various people to note that There's crossovers with all the series, right? There's direct connections with like Mash She is T Gassy Junior High, in what sense is their connection? Well in different ways. so like the St. Elsewhere characters go to the Cheers bottom in one of the episodes, for example. So those exist in the same univerit. Does anyone from Cheers have to go to Stain. Elsewhere to have their stomach pumped I don't think so. That would happen a lot more than was permissible in a familyily sitcum amount they drank. In homicide life on the street, there's a character from S Esewhere that is investigated for murder. So there's crosso characters. And actually these series also have crossovers with other TV series and sometimes cinematic properties. So if you go down the rabbit hole as it were, there is a huge amount of fiction that exists in the elsewhere universe and therefore in the mind of this autistic kid. Well, of course, in a sitcom though, it's a heightened reality anyway, isn't it? it doesn't really matter because weird things happen in sitcoms anyway, like actors change, even though they're playing the same character. Well, the quintessential one is Robin Williams as M. that originated in happappy days which is just mind blowing to think about that they had an alien character. But like I say night and realityield for that TV series. But the point is that Mork and Happy Days couldn't then be really the same Mork in Mork and Mindy because happay Days is set thirty years earlier, exxcept he's an alien, so maybe he could Time works differently. Like when Mark and Mindy have a child and he ages backwards. Speaking of cheers, You have all these characters from cheers who go and visit Fraasier on Frasier But that's within the same universe, so it doesn't your brain as much. But it's still novelty enough to be a bit of a like removal from fiction of the normal show. Yeah. So that's like law and order characs I believe I've never seen eisode of Lw order turn up in other spin offffs of law and order. becausecause in that universe, they're all cops, but in different states Dellboy turned up in the Green Greengrass, which was the Bisey spinoff from only Fools and horses. You make that face now, Helen, it ran for four seasons. I'm sure there are as well examples of celebrities who went on to play parts in Muppet films. who had previously guessed as themselves in a Muppet TV show If Kermit has previously met John Klees and been excited to have John Clees on as a guest It' bit weird that he turns up as a hotelier in Britain ten years later in the film and he doesn't recognize it. But what's the working memory a frog? Is it like a goldfish? Right Yeah, Iose that explains everything Do you hear that Sounds like breakfast is ready Because quQuakers coming in hot with morning nutrition one hundred percent whole grain oats and a good source of fiber to fuel the rhythm of your morning and kickstart your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, offfficial sponsor of FIFA World Cup twenty six The new LinkedIn hiring pro can't undo your last hire, the No show. Who set you back because they didn't show up on day one, or day two, or ever again. And now your product launch is delayed because you're talking to alien abduction podcasters to track them down. But LinkedIn Hiring Pro can help make sure your next hire six. In fact, businesses who use LinkedIn are twenty four percent less likely to reopen a role in the next twelve months. Hire write the first time with LinkedIn Hiring Pro. Post a free job today at LinkedIn dot com flashQality Here's a question from Tom who could be from Rotterdam or anywhere, Liverpool or Rome, but he is in Rotterdam. I bet he gets that a lot. And he says. Many years ago, I visited a buddy of mine who had moved to Canada. We had a great time together and one night after a couple of beers and a bottle of whiskey, we decided to get matching tattoos to cement our friendship I don't think they cement a friendship atching tattoos. They document a night where you both thought it was a good idea to have a tattoo and that is it. They are a moment in time that is then on your body for a long time. I think they no longer will tattoo people who are drunk here, by the way. Since we were in Canada, we thought it would be a good idea to have maple leaves tattooed on our shoulders Not very imaginative I suppose you were a tipsy. I mean, design wise for Canada, It's that Justr, isn't Hey, there's Carly Ray Japson forgive me. All dressed crisps, Hawaiian pizza. a lot A lot of options. John Candy Yeah. Dion Levy Oh Lord. Now only s. If I come to Canada, let' us get drunk and get Eugene Levy tattoos altogether, please. H But, says Tom, because our blood was still very thin from all the drinking The tattoo artist had a hard time distinguishing the red tattoo ink from the blood oozing out of our skin Oh my God, that's so eldritch. It's really disgusting As a result, after healing, the maple leaves turned out pretty faint and patchy I didn't care too much at the time because my buddy and I thought it made for a good story. It is a good story. We've just re all these it's still a good story. You've told it really well, Tom, You have. As well, I want you to take credit for your work in this story Now, seventeen years later, he continues. I haven't been in touch with my friend for quite some time and as I've grown older, I look at my tattoos differently Yeah You can't really look at one on your shoulder, though to be fair I'm not sure I want or need them anymore Yeah, that's fair. You know, things change. With advances in technology, tattoos can now be removed Fairly easily, though, still painfully. Yeah, I've heard very painful, quite expensive too. Helen, answer me this. Would it be unethical of me to get laser removal for my patchy maple leaf tattoo without informing my buddy I have no hard feelings towards him. It's just that I'm not that into tattoos anymore It's not an actual blood pact, is it? Right. I'm not sure that ethics are a huge consideration. So I don't have any tattoos But I had some instinctual thoughts about this that I then asked a number of friends who do have friendship tattoos, and they were in agreement with me that of course you can get it removed It's your body And you don't really have an obligation to someone you no longer see or speak to. It doesn't sound like there's any hostility there, just you know, the passage of time. Crect Yeah If your friend got theirs removed, would you want to know? If so, why? That's exactly the question to ask. Exactly. And if you would want to know and you'd feel somehow He's not takaking your feelings into consideration, then that says more about an issue you have. with the fact that you're no longer friends and also perhaps guides you towards the answer So in either case, that's a useful question to ask because if you really would feel like you'd be upset, then you probably should tell him. Unless you want to get back in touch with him just for all time's sake or something. Exactly. If you've drifted apart like you know, as people, then actually this is a good WhatsApp conversation, isn't it? Picture of the tattoo as it looks now With the caption, o Godd, this looks awful. I'm thinking of getting it removed. ha ha, can't believe we did that. mightight actually open up a fun conversation Then you've told him and also you might actually have a chat about it. Yeah. and he's not going to be hurt He's also got a shit tattoo Well, maybe we don't know. He might have got rid of it years ago. He might have got a cover up which would also, I think, be a good option If you felt bad about getting rid of it completely, but you wanted it to be in a better form, but it sounds like Tom is just like I've had it with all my tattoos now I mean, I've had the opposite trajectory to Tom in Rotterdam, which is that probablyrobably when I was the age that he was seventeen years ago. I was very anti tattoo. I regret saying some very uncharitable things about tattoos on the show in the past. I don't don't feel that way about them anymore, but I still don't have any. For the reasons Tom is outlining, which is I think I wouldn't want them forever. I guess it's like when you're younger, I suppose you're more concerned about ruining your body. I now just feel like my body is largely a trash bag and I'm not so bothered about protecting it. It's not going to make me less happy about my body if I have a tattoo. It's just a fun novelty thing. Maybe the difference between me and a lot of people with tattoos is I seem keen to not be able to remember my many past selves and maybe they are more comfortable with those. I'm sure there are listeners who have tattoos who might have a view on this, and we would like to hear that view. I really would. I think people's tattoo stories are so interesting. Yeah. And what would you cover up a splotchy makeable leaf with, even though it sounds like Tom's not going to do that? Our next episode Ham tea. four hundred and eleven will be out on the thirtieth of october twenty twenty five. The day before Halloween So if you have spooky questions Get them in in writing or in voice note attached to you An email. Our contact details are on our website, Antimedispodcast d. com haa And dcked inside a corpse's shell Also remember that you can follow us at patreon. com slash answer mee this and support the show financially. And hello to Hanna who is our one thousand patreon. Release those big money balls Ding ding ding, What is Hanuin? U She wins this shout out, which is priceless. She wins the continuation of this podcast. Exactly Wow. When we launched the show, our target was one thousand paid members. I think we're at a thousand three now That means that this show is financially sustainable even if the money that we get from advertising or sponsorship dries up entirely. This podcasting is very financially unpredictable these days. Correct. So that means we are A paid for our time and be paid in lieu for the first eighteen years you listen to us for free. He never forgets a grud. If you are one of those one thousand three people keeping us going, thank you this monthly dose of answering this in your pod boox. is for you And if you're not, it's not too late. patreon. com such answer me this. No, it's never too late really, unless the show stops again. Exactly. Yeah if we stop because we haven't got enough supporters, then it will literally be too late. Yeah, okay. ye, put the pressure on. But what I'm saying is that's not happening, so thank you. Yes. Yeah. And also Patreons are in For a bunch of treats, including such things as bonus material every month Ad free version of the podcast and coming soon an absolute fucking abundance of extra stuff. Ollie's been working hard to set it up and it's just a fiddle, but once he's finished fidding, it'll be well worth it. I'm doing a lot of fiddling in my spare time. Yeah. And Ollie, have you been doing any podcasting you want to tell our dear listeners about here So, u Yes, I suppose I should mention the fact that October is the tenth anniversary of the modern Man Wow. Oh it is named after me. yes, the modern MAN. Thank you. How are you celebrating? Every edition of The Modern Man, my co host Ollie Piitt is challenged by the audience to test out a trend that is zeitgeisty and cool So what we thought we'd do for our tenth birthday is test out birthday trends. We're going to go to various cool venues and eat and drink stupid trendy things. That sounds great. It will be fun fun. I mean, I'm trying to remember what I did on my tenth birthday. Oh I can't remember any of my childhood birthdday. I think I went to Cody's in Stevenge Oh It was great actually. It was the only place in Hertfordshire where you'd get a singing waiter would come sing happappy birthday and take a Polaroid of you with the cake. Yes, that's right. Helen, what's happening in Zaltszman podcast worldorld I recently released an episode called Terrisk. It's a joke that will become clear when you listen to the episode that is about a technological problem in the present that I discovered when I was watching legally blonde with the subtitles on I managed to trace back For nearly a thousand years to one man in Button What have you been doing Oh well, actually I contribute to an illusion An another illusion in this episode about month ago. That's right Bain, bain And it featured a new song that I wrote about pooison Gardens You can hear it on that illusionist episode or you can go to palebird. b camp is where I k my music. Or you can do none of those things. Don't support us financially, donon't check out our other work. Don't send us a question and we'll still have a new episode for you next month. Yeah, we're quite a low maintenance relationship in that.. Be