Strategies for Managing Social Interactions

And we're live from the living room as Doug eyes up the match they spread. He's reaching for the buuffalo wing. Perfect Hang on, what's this? Oh, he's good for a Cat of Pepsi too. Inredible What to finish Sensational combination. Look at the delight on his face. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a pack of Pepsi Zero Sugar for today's match It's poetry in motion Do successful traitors get recruited as spies? Why did Diana King have such a thing for shy guys? Helen, you are not alone when it comes to your predilelection for whole raw vegetables in lieu of salads. Oh my God Finally, a meeting a vegetable club which won't just be me crunching by myself. Darcy was listening to our last episode A Free on Patreon and says, For what it's worth whilst I was listening, I was eating a yellow bell pepper like an apple. Whilst Helen was saying that some people find eating whole raw vegetables odd I don't think it's weird at all. Thank you for the validation, Darcy. Our friend Josie Long used to eat whole peppers like an apple. I don't know if she still does, but people really her resconse for that. I do think it is nicer cut into strips and dipped into things, isn't it? I don't want to judge someone, but as a preference, if you've got a knife in the house, better in strips. What if you've had all your knives confiscated? If they've been subject to an amnesty then at least you can still get your seven a day. Idea for you, Ollie as A renowned mayonnaise fan. You open up the bell pepper, take the seeds out, but keep it otherwise whole like a cup, fill the cup with mayonnaise, dip your other crudet into the pepper cup, and then eat the mayonnaise moistened pepper at the end. J that's like porn Last episode, you mentioned a poor choice of tie, Ollie when you appeared on Sky News because your tie was the same as the news ticker and thus you blend it in like a hovering head. indndeed. And you talk about you're there on the news doing paper reviews. And Michael wrote in to say got me wondering about why the UK media does that For example, my morning newsletter from the Garden tells me the headlines from the other newspapers I'm originally from the US and you never catch the New York Times telling you what headline the Washington Post ran with that day. So Ollia answers me this. Why is the UK media so interested in what other parts of the media, particularly the papers, are saying? And where did the tradition of the newspaper review come from The origin of the paper review goes all the way back to nineteen fifty six. Wh. And the second longest running British TV program of all time, what the papers say? No way. It began on ITV, which I didn't know, was on Grenado and then made its way to BBC TV our generenation. We know it as a radio program from radio four. Apparently it stoppedadcasting in twenty sixteen, but such is the nature of radio four, that I feel like I heard it only yesterday. But basically the format of that is A journalist sort of looks back at the week in Westminster by saying According to the Daily Mail, and then an actor comes and reads a paragraph. I was disgusted to see d d d da and then they say, But the guardian had it as this. and then they have somewoneat an actor being the columnist from the Guardian And the origin of that, like why that was a thing in Britain is because of public service broadcasting, because we have BBC and ITV with an obligation to impartially relate the news in broadcast A way of getting opinion onto the airwaves then was to reflect what was in our printed newspapers which didn't have such tight regulation, had a political view Interesting So you be able to say? The front of the sun says, Viva, Margaret Thatcher, the front of the mirror says, Maggie Thatcher's a Twat. and then you've got balance. You've said both. That's basically it. Oh my gosh, that's actually very interesting Thank you. And also it means that the news channel doesn't have to check the fact of the thing they're saying, because you you can say, well, according to the telegraph D d, d, and And if it turns out later that that is completely fictitious, it's unlikely you're going to get sued because all you're reporting is that the telegraph is reporting it So again, it giv gives you a bit of justification to Break news that you haven't double checked yet And it's popular ten thirty at night It sounds fresher rather than saying, hereere's the same debate we've been having all day and here are two journalists we booked two weeks ago talking about it. You say Oh look, hot off the press and here to discuss this. You rem mean, it suddenly sounds exciting. But also the other thing was because of public Sovet broadcasting until like nineteen ninety eight or whenever the BBC website kicked off around then, wasn't it The BBC wasn't a Wds publisher at all, like it was a broadcastaster. good It literally was't in competition with newspapers. There wasn't any issue of like, you're promoting a newspaper. It's like, fine, we can also interview someone from Sainsbury,' not promoting vegetables. like it's just not. N promoting related to what they did. I mean, Delia talked about cranberries and all the cranberries sold out, that seems like insider trading via the BBC You see what I mean? L nowadays they have a news website and they're the biggest website in Britain. It's a slightly more complicated thing, isn't it? Because they're competing in the same space actually. But they weren't. wouldn't have occurred to anyone that would be a problem. Is the BBC the biggest website in Britain? I think so. yeah. biggest news website. In the days of Lad Bible, that's kind of a triumph U hereere's an intriguing first sentence from Douglas, who says? I lead a double life. Oh You're right, intriguing. By day, I work in a respectable and serious position in the civil service, which requires some interaction with the public. This is like getting an email from our friend Alex in two thousand seven who had a respectable and serious position in the civil serervice whilst doing the I'm a vagjina Ient for us. Yes. I mean you also played a vagjina on stage First live show he did. By night and weekends, continues Douglas, I do comedy of the stand up and podcast variety. In the next few months, I have a comedy opportunity, which, if it goes well, would result in some publicity for me. Best luck ? I already keep separation between my work and my comedy I perform under a stage name and I give minimal detail of my extracurricular activities to colleagues and none at all to my clients. And do you have that thing in your social media bios saying your opinions are your own and not those of your employer? Because that is legally watertight. But he says, given there's a chance of publicity If it goes well. if it goes well. I need to work out How to change up my look So it's not immediately apparent to people that the guy they saw on the weekend making elaborate knob jokes is the same guy they are now talking through a very serious and complicated issue with Wk I'll never believe anyone could have that range. I do think our culture is fundamentally wrong, where you're not allowed to have fun in a fun environment and then be serious in a serious environment. That's being an adult. That's vibbe is's the two. the problem is. We contain multitudes. Yeah, exactly. I guess you kind if you're a parent Because no one thinks if you're like playing with a kid in a ballpool that hold down a serious job. I wouldn't ask him for mortgage advice. Look what he's doing doing slide. Exactly. Helen answer me this. How can I change up my appearance on stage so that I'm not easily recognizable to people I deal with at work I'm a fairly generic looking thirty something Caucasian cis male At work, I wear glasses I clean shaven, have short hair which I always style the exact same way, and wear a suit I'm still working on my stage persona, so it's blank page as far as my look there goes. What would you suggest to help me keep up the illusion of separation between stage me and work me. It sounds like a real Clark Kent type of look that you're rocking at work, you know, short hair styled glasses, suit that's presumably not a superman suit. I will say I find it very easy to confuse Caucasian Cis men to the extent that I'll be like, o, hey to guys with beards and rectangular glass in the street. and it turns out they're not Martin. I had this experience we went to the pool recently And I walked past a guy who was sat on a bench just waiting for his partner or whatever. You thought it was you. I was like, is that me? And then I looked a bit closer because I had my goggles on, I couldn't see that well. and I was like, No no, that's a different person. I thought you were seeing a projection of yourself sitting on a bench. He thought it was like in Gremlins when you get water on himself and he divides into more martins I mean, the implication here is that he should be flamboyant on stage Maybe he should be flamboyant and easier to pick out in a line at work. Oh maybe Maybe he should go to work in the civil serervice in a striped junitardge. Yeah, mayaybe you should be wearing a Franks side bottom head to work not to stage. Or a darf punk helmet. But maybe it's just like as soon as you whip off the lanyard and put on a less boring shirt, but not necessarily super flamboyant that already your colleagues would be I mean, many of them are going to random stand upp gigs and checking the comedy press for publicity Aree, Well, that's the thing. He says some publicity. I mean, I'm assuming this isn't live at Aollo. I'm assuming you're at that stage, but nonetheless. I'm guessing it's like one of the competitions exactly Edinurgh. So if it's Edinburgh let' says Edinburgh. What it could mean is that you know, a thousand posters with his face are going to go up around the place. So that is a bit more outing, isn't it than ending up a comedy club You've got to think. Other comedians have had jobs that seem contrary Like a lot of them were doctors, like Harry Hill. Well, but there you are. The big collar, the pens You know, Harry Hill went for on stage, didn't he in way you probably wouldn't recognize Harry Hill if he walked past you without his glasses and without that suit on. Gofier always was like that, isn't he? Like if he didn't have his spiked hair and his like backwards glasses and his weir g goatey, like he wouldn't spot on the streight, He'd just look like a normaleged guy. Elton John, I'm sure, can walk around Windsor without anyone realizing that's Elton John. Yeah Be his fashion style is so distinct that if you saw that man with a baseball cap walking around, he'd look like an old man if he was wearing conservative clothes. Yeah I think that a change of glasses something quite different in style. likeike if you're wearing wire frames at work, if you went for something in a color or like clear frames or something that makes your face shape look almost different because they interact with your face so differently. Also maches, like get a bunch of prosthetic mouaches. Your whole face will transform. Yes. You probably will look like a PE teacher from the nineteen seventies Im not like Douglas the thirty something civil servant. Is there a modern equivalent to the Tommy Cooper Fz that isn't as characterful as that, but could be a hat that you wear? like a little party hat, like a, you know,. That's a fun look for a comedian, isn't it a party hat? Becauseuse it makes you taller. I think on stage would give you a more dominant personality, but also just inherently funnier as well and a bit sad I mean, I had that for many years. I was like a teacher. I mean, I wasn't a stand upp, but there were pictures occasionally of me and newspapers, not for crime reasons for ob serious reasons. And that was a little weird. but my boss used to listen to our podcast, so that was weird as well. So driuggling those two lives was quite quite weird for quite a long time and you just have to sort of roll with it really He used to listen to me this in the bath and then he gave a job and was like, I can't really do that anymore, becauseuse that's weird. Yeah, you've seen fair enough. It is weird to tell someone you listen in the bath. Putting in the past tenent certainly is that passastive. Yeah I was talking to someone the other day who I had listened to in the shower and I did tell her and I felt odd saying it. but also I felt like I would have been censoring to not say it because that is where I was when I first heard it. I was like, Oh yeah, I was listing I in the shower. it just came jumping out of me. But I was. But then I was like, I know she's imagining me naked, listening to her now and I didn't really want to do that. We' like, No it's okay, I always wear a full set of clothes in the shower. Here's a question from BJ who says I go by my nickname BJ and have for the majority of my life. I do this for a variety of reasons I don't love my first name O' been called BJ by friends and relatives I like having a gender neutral name and so on However peopleople regularly ask me What does BJ stand for I find this an odd question because if I wanted people to know my actual name, I'd probably use it I never know how to answer this question well Sometimes I feel pressured into telling them. Sometimes I mutter something about just being known as BJ Sometimes I ramble on about why I have those initials and so on I don't ask people who use nicknames what their names stand for, i. e Libby. Are you actually an Elizabeth or Ollie? Is that short for Oliver? So, Ollie. A to me this How do I politely respond to the frequent questions about my name when I don't want people to know what the B and the J stand for? Inidentally BJ is definitely an unfortunate nickname given the sexual connotations. I'm glad you mentioned it before I had to. When I was younger, says BJ, I frequently had men asking me, Oh, so BJ is that your specialty? O BJ, Do you love BJs? last thing Luckily, I guess, I'm a lesbian, so I always could make a retort about how my wife and I don't enjoy blowjobs or something else along those lines Okay, sorry on behalf of men. Yes. The example that she gives of my name saying I wouldn't ask Ollie is that short for Oliver, I don't think that is the same because it is a common abbreviation. It is a bit different, I think, to an initial. In my whole life, just to give this some context, I've met a DK and a JJ Two people in forty five years who go by their initials. Oh, I've met at least three PJs. Okay, short for pajamas. But the point I'm saying is I understand why it gets at you, but also I do think it is slightly more forgivable that people don't think deeply before they ask you what your full name is based on your initials because they've probably never been in a situation before where it would occur to them that would be an unwelcome question as opposed to Liby is that short for Elizabeth, which is slightly different thing, I think So I understand why people ask and I understand why you've been put in this position I would suggest that a way of dealing with this is humour, which it sounds like you've tried to do before, but you're just not quite sure what the joke is I think having a sort of clear joke that isn't about blow jobs but is up your sleeves that clearly means don't ask me about my name. I don't want to talk about it So I was thinking maybe Bojack horseman, just absolutely straight face, say that's what it stands for, and then move on. Billy Joel is another one Boris Johnson might work in the UK. Yeah, that's why you would want to go initials only. If they say whats itit short for, you can say So people can say it quickly He Very nice malting. If you can deadpan a funny answer They'll either laugh and ask the supplementary question, which they were asking anyway, and then you do have to deal with it or they might just laugh. and realize they don't want to talk about it But but in either case they'll laugh And so this issue about like how do I ask without being rude is diffused somewhat, because you've made them laugh. Okay, my suggestion if you feel like rudeness is not entirely uncalled for, but this depends on your tone of delivery is to just say It stands for BJ. and repeat that until they get tired of after. You can tell them that joke about Mandelbroke, that's the way to do it. You know that joke about what's The being Benois being Mandelburt standan for? No Benois B Mandelberurt s stands for Benoir Be Mandelberg It's a joke about fractals. So you could just pull that one out. fine. Douglas, youre writing these jokes down As someone who feels a certain like social awkwardness and often has inappropriate thoughts in social situations? you. The reason I would be asking that is because the first thing I would think is like, o, like blow job. would to stop don't take my job, don't take my job. By saying the next thought, which is, oh what does it stand for? Have I told my Ian Dunt anecdote on this show before? I don't think I have. God, I can't remember. So okay, apologies if I have said this in the archive. My first ever primetime show on LBC, this is about twelve years ago. I was nervous And actually it had a paper review in it to call back to our earlier item And I had to trail ahead to who was coming on at seven o'clock. So the first thing I did when I came in at seven PM was I'm E Mam, this is LBC coming up And Obviously, I was thinking just don't say Ian Kamp, donon't say Ian Kampp. donon't say Ian Kampp. That was what was going on in my head. It's been done on radio before to air and this is how the brain works, you see I was so focused on not saying Knt that I said, This went out live I'm O man, comoming up at seven hundred and thirty fromrom politics. co. Uk Ian Dunt and from Labour Uncant, Atel Hatwell That's what I said Oh Stunning this direction from your brain. I thought you werere going to say coming up next in Tat. just yeah, I do relate to the donon't say blow job issue here. I think that is likely fifty percent of the interaction. I suppose you could just misdirect them into something not names related altogether they say, So, what's that short for you? Oh, look over there. Is there like an eagle about to at that person's head. You do hit upon something. These people are just trying to be polite, they're not trying to be rude. They're just trying to ask a question that sort of looks like they're interested in your life You could deflect with something about them they might not even notice because that's the conversational plane they're on. They say, Oh BJ, what does that stand for? And you just say, you've got I love that broch you're wearing. And they probably won't even notice that you haven't answered the question. If you want to be a little miservous about it, be like you just got a little and then like gesture at your teeth. So they're like, Ohh what did I get it? I pick my teeth? and you're know the other side. And that would make them forget. I've got a question Email your question. o answer me this podcast at googlemail. com T ends your me with this podcast atgmil. com answer me this podcast at googlemain. comot Ts intermedi with is podcat statues G mal. com So retrospectors, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday why Waling Matilda isn't the Australian National Anthem. On Tuesday, the true story behind the Magna Carta. On Wednesday, the only James Bond song to ever get to number one and you'll never guess which one it is. On Thursday, the comic ineptitude of the Thieves who tried to steal Edvard Monks's the Scream And on Friday, we remember the days when Coca Cola had cocaine in it. That's today in History with the Retrospectors. ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. A question from George from Aberdeen Sheere now of Prague a questionna here from Days ofvour. He says, It is a wonder and a delight to have you all back in my ears, never knew how much I'd missed you tntil you came back Same to you, George. Indeed. You pro. A lot of people don't realise we're back. If you ever get talking podcasts with your mates, do tell them that we're back. because people will be like, yeah, answer this. yeah, two thousand seven, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, when I had hair. We're here, we're still here. Some of us still have hair. Helen, answer me this. What are the origins of wax seals on correspondence What is the first known personalized wax seal And is wax sealing still commonly used in any context today? Yeah. I think we can answer commonly no. A It's still use in sort of obscure stuff like governmental and legal and religious contexts. Like the papal bull still gets to splat some wax, doesn't it? Yeah I think when you get your CBE in the post, that's got a wax seal, that's one of the ways you know. When I do? Yeah. when it inevitably arrives. When I get my entry into the Wikipedia list of people who turn down a New Year's Day honor, that willll come with a wax seal, right That's my ultimate dream to be on that list of people who turn down and h it My mum would be so cross. So it is still used in official context, which is partly tradition. You know like there's so much in British governance that is archaic I don't know if this is still the case, but a few years ago they were still printing documents onto Valum which is im print on. What do you know Inscribingcument. I don't know if you can feed it through a doc matri p or something. likeike they did in medieval times. Sure, yeah. Outside of that, I think it has been on the increase actually in a sort of crafty way, like wedding invitations And they've redeveloped ceiling wax so that it can survive the modern postal system because old ceiling wax would have cracked or got knocked off by the mail sorting machines, whereas now there's special flexible wax that can survive it. That's nice. Yeah. It sort of almost weirdly makes more sense now, I think than it did a hundred years ago because a hundred years ago when people were posting correspondence as the main way to talk to each other It wasn't special to receive a letter and it would have seemed really above your station and overly ornate to put a wax seal on something Whereas now You're spending like two quids to send someone anything. Also actually, you might as well make it it is a special thing And you are deliberately trying to invoke some oldie worldy charms You might as well accessorize appropriately I would enjoy getting something with a wax seal on it. Have you ever had a wax seal BeCacause I remember like when we were growing up, there was that shop pastimes that sold Yeahah. historical gifts and this seems very much in their wheelhouse. Yeah, was pastime really just for like Tolkien fans? No, my mum bought a lot of my Christmas presents there What kind of thing would it be then? and for my grand? H you got me some rings like a ring that would flip open and you could keep poison in it? Right, okay Anne Bolen topop Trumps. Probably often gloves with Anneoleyn That's sort of fantasy type vibe, no? No, no, it's much more like national trrust gift stylesle, isn't it? It used to be sustainable before the internet as a highigh street chain? I know High Street Chain selling ammboin almven gloves and wax seals. But Ollie, you and I both noted when we were watching the Taylor Swift Eeras Tour Docu series. Yes, that she has a wax seal She does. She's sort of giving a raise, isn't she to all of her stuff. She's giing them their bonus. Yeah, Everyone's got a massive bonus because that tour was so little. And o, don't you know, the cameras just happened to be capturing her, putting everyone's money into an envelope and being incredibly modest about it because she's such an amazing person and working with her is incredible. and she really shines a light on everyone's diversity and incredibleness. And while she's doing it, she puts a wax seal on Yes because she's crafty. And her mum's like Taylor, you've got one hundred and twenty thousand people out there waiting to see you, stop fucking around with the stationy, and she's like, No, I want to make it special. And it is I mean, I think probably the big w of money inside is special. Well the problem with someone that famous giving you a wax sealed envelope with money inside it like is it worth more to open it or you know what I mean? Like there's money in it, but then you could eBay Taylor Swift's wax seal for more than probably she's given you as a bonus. Why don't you just open the bottom with a letter knife and then you can take the money out and still have the sealed en if that makes sense. That's a good solution actually. Yeah. whichich wouldn't have been such a good solution in days of your when wax seals had a more practical aspect, both of security because they were personally Yes. and you knew if it had been broken, your letter had been tampered with. but also When you' paying for postage by weight. People be like, okay, I'm just going to seal up the pages and not have an envelope Oh, right, yeah, of course. Yeah, because I mean pre postal service as well, like a messenger would be delivering it. Right. The weight in their bag was relevant. They're carrying lots of things. Yeah. there were also envelopes, but I'm just saying if you had done the little like, well, I'm going to slit it open so I can keep the wax seal intact, then you would have ripped your le.. Yes, yes, yes. I don' think we know exactly whose was the first personalized wax seal, but that's because the first known wax seals go back to At least six thousand BC. Fuck me in like ancient Mesopotamia, ancient Greece, China Egit, notot necessarily using seealing wax at that time. clay was very common or sometimes it was like a stamp with ink. or sometimes the whole thing was being inscribed into a wax tablet and the seals were often cylindrical and they'd have these significant designs on pictures and stories and things like that. So there was a lot of detail on them. gos, animals, myths, so they had like quite a lot of value for just, o, a nice story on this thing as well as oh, this is uniquely from this person. But literacy was a reason why wax seals took off in Britain from medieval era and also because sealing wax had improved in formulation, so it was more useful and less likely to just break Yes I've been reading up on like how wax evolved to become more secure once it became important to protect the information. So like obviously, as the commoners become literate, you don't want them reading your important messages. It was kind of fine before because they couldn't read what they had anyway But then suddenly you've got, you know, potentially confidential information, important thing between aristocrats, you know, matters of state, et cetera. Yeah So like how do you protect that? So what do you do? Got you Biled grot. Yeah, people send each other grot written on parchment. Actually a couple of hundred years ago, different colours of ceiling wax did denote some of the contents. so pink or pale blue more often the more romantic R Uh contents indicators, and white was purity and green was hope and new beginnings. I bet people put a lot of filth in the purity ones. they didn't they just like you know throw someone off the scent and then they'd be like, aha. rotten. but Maybe I will get a wax seal that just says g. But the technology changed. So the new tech in the sixteenth century was gum Arabic, which was obtained from the sapp of Acacia trees. Or Shellac, which is a resin of substance secreted by a species of Asian bug, yes And at that point, they became harder to open by interlopers. Before then, like the original kind of first second century wax was literally beeswax with a little bit of turpentine sometimes And you could prize that off Sometimes people use horse tail hair to slice underneath the seal. Wow and attach it in one piece so that they could then put it Thatounds. Back again, yeah. Or you could actually just completely hack it off and then create your own if the seal was very crude and just do a copy. Yeah, this is what I was wondering because There is this emphasis on it being used to verify the sender and so on and it being unique to that person. But was there a big directory of who had what seal? like that library of clown makeup where it's all on an egg so that clowns don't copy other's makeup Yes, yeah, yeah yeah. But I don't know how you would have verified seals in those days. I suppose everyone would know like the Prince of Wales' seal though, wouldn't they? But you're right, if it's your dad's especially he' his dads you do know, I guess that's the thing, isn't it? But you wouldn't know Yeah, the guy you met last week, necessarily. But then you don't know now with signatures, do you? Absolutely not. You can guess. You can tell whether it's authentic sort of. like you know what I mean? L it gives something of the personality of the person Because also people would choose the kind of seal for the occasion, right? So like you say, it's not just the color, it's also just, yes, personal seal, but also probably My business seal, my family seal and my affectionate seal There's probably a bit that going on as well. All right. Wh's saying like the historic princes had like a party seal. Yeah, yeah, yeahah. again, so their business didn't get mixed up with their pleasure. It's the burner phone of seals But the clever way, once they establish this new technology, defraud someone, read their letter and then post it on as if you hadn't was to take a cast of the seal? Oh So you'd make a negative image of the seal, which you could then use to cast a new seal from wax It's still not really that secure There were a lot more forges around. Exactly those days. There wass neighborhood forge, exxactly right. Yeahah. And forger. Yeah, yeah. O is that where forgery comes from? That's where forgery comes from. Oh . I think it'd be really nice to receive a romantic seal, but I wouldn't compare it to a kiss from a road. Oh how long have you been fermenting that, Martin?bout eightight minutes, I think. Before you name your baby, have you bought their nameam. com If you don't their future digital brand will bom or a spammy bastard use their name to sell porn orr some cheap off grand Viagra. Every square space account comes with a for you R Rs, so until your child is old enough to rebel You can run a website for them that will become their personal h. So it will be worth every penny. Hello E Thanks be to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of our. Y. Squarespace sites look great They're so quick and simple to start. Thank goodness because otherwise I never would have got one off the ground because I'm la If you're extra lazy and you can't be bothered to go off and buy yourself a business email address elsewhere, you can get an integrated one from Google Workspace as well So you know, along with your domain, you can have Ollie at nameame ofcompany. com rather than some chunky old personal email address with ten numbers after it. That looks better I think it would be quite funny if I got an Ollie email address I don't know why I'd never thought of that before. Maybe it's a bit of a cell phone. I mean, if it made you laugh every day you check your emails, then who's to say that's not worth it? I hate checking my emails, but maybe that wouldll incentivise me Let See what kind of offers you get that I don't get. Anyway, take out a two week free trial, impersonate me at your place of work by going to squarespace dot com slash answer. And when you're ready to launch your Ollie Man website, then you can save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain, which Ollly Man would definitely dog he loves to dis. Absolutely using our code. Answer Here is a question from Jen and Chris who self describe as early forty something from Coventry Hey. U Yep leaving space for the mandatory West Midlands recognition whoop. Yelp of recognition Midlands Pide. They say, Ollie, answer me this What songs are there about inverted commas, The millennium P poor Googling only find songs about millennials, but we mean songs like Will two K by Will Smith, nineteen ninety nine by Prince, Year two thousand by Pulp and Millennium by Robbie Williams. Okay, so specifically about the The moment that the twentieth century became the twenty first, you want a song about that? Yes, o. We've been reminiscing and can't quite believe it's been so long since those songs were about the future. It's quite odd to be. Nostalgic for a time when our current time sounded like the future. But I know what you mean. I mean, I miss the era when the words millennium and twenty thousand and twenty first century sounded like somethingomet special. Well, Busted got in very early for the year three thousand. Is the Busted song originally about the year two thousand, but the songwriters didn't sell it until too late so they updated it for the next millennium? It's that James Bourne from Busted was overhearing millennium by Robbie Williams coming out of a telly in the adjacent room Four years after the release of Millennium and improvised Ye three thousand on the spot. Okay. They directly influence each other. Well done to him? Yeah. I think I slightly prefer year three thousand two Millennium by Robbie Williams. As a teenager, I hosted a fashion show, hard as that is to believe And Yeah sounds out of character for you. When youre a want to be presented hostings not notot exactly you take the gigs that are available and that's what was available Bis music for the models, walking down the catwalk was millennium and so therefore at the dress rehearsals and there were one hundred and fifty contestants I heard nothing but millennium all day all day long, like for eight hours of dress rehearsal. There's not a single Robbie Williams song that I would happily listen to all day. It's really not designed to be heard on the loop. Anyway, in looking into alternatives to the songs that you mentioned, yes, I found a few One that occurred immediately to m that you'd forgotten actually, which is of course, the song that was actually number one as the century came around, and that is Cliff Richards the Millennium Prayer Oh A song so awful but E Cliff will not sing it anymore He's like, I've gone full in on my gravy granules Leave me be, we do not mention the millennium. To be fair, at least It is an attempt to mark the two thousandth anniversary of Christ's birth, which is what, you know was happening as nineteen ninety nine became two thousand, right? I mean, Robbie Williams didn't go there. Yeah, no one's bumping that anyore, are M No one Not even in church schools. like it's just everyone knows it's awful I've also just discovered Anthem for the Ye two thousand by Silver Chair You remember Silver Chad Could notm a single song of theirs. I only know of them because one of them was married to Natalie in Brulia. W they're like incredibly young Australians like sixteen year olds. Yeah like Nirvana Syle. You got it. Yeah. So like I vaguely remember their name because it graced the giant Redding Festival poster which was on my bedroom wall when I was eighteen, but I certainly did not go and see Silver Chair when they were on. I probably would have been Watching Grouvevarmader or. Then Boby's on again. But this song did reach number three in Australia. They're a kind of like grunge metal group but with the stylings of a boy band I would say. Right I think I just straay ahead of grrune band on just because they were young maybe they were marketed Exactly. they were marketed a bit like the calling, that kind of look like he's blonde and boyish. But the music sounds more like not slip knot because it's pop, but it's headed in that kind of thrash like not melodic direction. The opening couplet of that song is We are the youth will take your fascism away. Thank you. That would be nice. Yes, yeah, come back. You failed there, but we could do it now. Come on Silver Chair. There's still a chance, Silver Chair and there's so much more fascism to take away that your fascism removal business will do great.. But it's really bad, it's a bad song. And I also discovered which I enjoyed Why two K the bug is coming, which was By the band, White twoK which was a supergroup feeaturing Jim Bob from Cartter the Unstoppable sex machine and Fuzz Townzown. Yeah, we used to know Jim Bob a bit because we lived in the neighborhood as him. Yeah. lived in Chryistop Palace. Oh right, okay. Yeah, used to see him at like bookshop events. This just where it going. That's a fun fact, but I haven't got to the lead vocalist yet. Oh yeah. It was the last vocal that Ian Jury ever recorded. Fuck. Why two K the bug is coming At the time, you know, this was the big paranoia and they're kind of like mocking it and they're kind of playing on their punk rock credentials. say juries over the top being like Yeah, it's coming through the walls, that kind of thing. I've only listened to it once. Forgive me if that's not quite it but that's basically it. And at one point he says, We're under your mouse mat. Christ. How nineteen ninety nine is that? Chef's kiss, perfect. Just to deliver some justice for people that corresponded with us God, however many years ago, we were talking about the Yite UK bone And we had intimated that it was A bit oversold as a problem and a lot of people wrote to us going it only wasn't a problem because because in front of the hard work of computer engineers. Yeah. becausecause of our valiant efforts.. So. respecture. I remember there wass that tricky album called premillennial Tension But that's an album I don't know if there's a song. Well, yeah, if we're talking albums, there's a backstreet boys album called Millennium. But it doesn't actually refer to the Millennium on it It sort of implies that they're the future And the Will Smith album that contains the song Will two K was, of course called Will Eny. so in Will two K, which I hadn't listened to since because it is very specifically about, Hey, it's night. it's nineteen ninety nine. We're going to get on the floor and we're going to have because you would never listen to again after january the first two thousand. Here's a question from Chris from Barath who says, I've always been a fan of murder mysteries, especially from the Agatha Christie Golden Age of Cime era. Yeah, they are fun Can I just say I've never read Agath Christie? I've seen plenty.ave you watched Montte? Yeah I've seen the plays. I've seenemp, I ye Yeah. But I don't think I've everad a murder mystery of any kind, come to think of it. But it's amazing how you know the tropes anyway, which is kind of what this question's about I've read books, Chris says, where the killer is the conventional husband, wife, friend or employee and others where there's a twist such as the detective did it, or the policeman the narrator The children, or even sometimes the victims themselves. What I've never read is a book where the Butler was the murderer. so Helen answered me this, whereere did the cliche The butler did it originate? I've got two credit The entire answer to this question to Caroline Crampton of She Dunit podcast, which is all about Glden age, detective fiction, because I texted her about this And she was like, oh, this is actually very interesting. There are not many butlers in this genre of fiction at all who are the murderers There's like a Sherlock Holmes one, there's some fairly obscure short stories from the nineteen tens and twenties. and then there is A novel called The Door by Mary Roberts Reinht. It's from nineteen thirty. Apparently it's pretty shit because she wrote it when she I think she'd been ill and she had some bills to pay. so she just like sharted out this novel. She's the one. Mary Roberts Reinhartt is the one who's like seen as the American Agatha Christie, isn't she? Apparently one of her plays inspired Batman because it has aow A killer in it who like or inspired the costume at least, like dresses up to kill people.. has a bat. I think it was a play called The Bat that she wrote. Yeah. Wow, cool. Well anyway, so the Butler did do it in the door, but she doesn't say the phrase The butler did it Act It was kind of an unpopular time because Firstly, there was a list of rules published by the author who went by the name SS Van Dyne Van Deen and it's like twenty rules of detective fiction and like Authors are breaking them all the time But some of the rules are also ones that you'd understand. like there's got to be a corpse. There's got to be a detective Cperate should not be the detective. The reader should have all the clues presented to them It can't be solved by a clue that the reader has not been given. That's a good one. becauseuse that is the one that you get frustrated about the Totally. Yeahah It shouldn't be a completely inconsequential character, which it often is as well where you're like, okay, theres this character is only in this so that they can be the surprise twist at the end because otherwise they serve no function and have no personality. True. One of the other rules is like it can't be o, a surprise identical twin or doppelganger whichich comes up a lot too, really annoying. They shouldn't solve the crime because of like Ouija boards And so number eleven of these rules which were published in nineteen twenty eight, by the way is servants, such as butlers, footmen, valets, gamekeepers, cooks and the like, must not be chosen by the author as the culprit. This is begging a noble question. It is a too easy solution. It is unsatisfactory, It makes the reader feel that his time has been wasted. The culprit must be a decidedly worthwhile person. One that wouldn't ordinarily come under suspicion for if the crime was the sordid work of a menial, the author would have no business to embalm it in book form. So he's basically saying Don't write the Butler being the culprit because servants' crres would be unworthy of a book. Yeah, kind of don't trouble my time with the working class people who happen to be in a room with all these other more interesting, glamorous rich people O more charitable reading is that it's a cliche to have a sort of dishonest servant. I think it's just more that butlers, by definition, go upstairs and downstairs have access to every room. So it's just a bit every secret, the servants know all the aristocrat's secrets. It's on the nose, isn't it? A reason why This is an interesting area though, is In between the W Wars, you have like sort the last gasp of Bold in Britain still having domestic servants. A lot of those big aristocratestates were still in possession of the family, but like much reduced, they couldn't afford that shit so much anymore. And I think they sensenseed that like that world was ending. But during the First World War, a lot of domestic staff went off to do war jobs, you know, be in factories or serve in the armed Forces. So when they came back, they were like, I don't want to wear this fucking uniform and have no agency because I am just the drudge for these rich people, and it was a lot more difficult for the aristocrats to get servants. And so there was a thing called the servant probleblem, which Caroline has also made a really interesting episode about. and a lot of these stories are reflecting that. they can't get the help and they can't expect absolute loyalty from the help, which they had been able to do before because they couldn't get the servants. they had to take a risk on People that they didn't know rather than people who'd just been working for the family for their entire careers. So those people as well might have secrets. So actually it goes from being a cliche that you don't want to do to like playing on a fear that's in the ether, which then makes it a lot more evocative. Yeah yeah. Absolutely. So they were I can't trust my butler and what if the butler wants revenge for being my subordinate for so long. But the phrase the Butler did it, it's a thing that everyone knows above and beyond Mary Roberts Reinhard Yeah. So how did that become the thing? No idea, no idea. There is a PG Woodhouse book, I think, called The Butler didid it. And I wonder if that's a bit like You don't play again, Sam. peopleople started saying, R again, Sam, when they were doing an impression of Humpphy Bogart, but actually In Casablanca, Humphrey Bger justays playay it Sam. He doesn't say play again Sam That's the type of the Woody Allen mov I wonder if it was a bit like that and Woodhouse actually influenced how people thought of this moment in retrospect. The Woodhouse book was published under the title Something Fishy And the US edition was what was called The Butler didit and I think they came out somewhat later, but that's not until the late fifties anyw I think that was it was like a fake spoiler. That was like how I interpreted it. yeah. So when you're discussing it in polite company, you can use the code of the butler did it. People do that now, don't they with the mouseetrap? They do actually say you' sworn secrecy at the end. Hell, but the butler did it. Eone knows butler did it safe from the knowledge that the butler couldn't done it because the butler never does it Something that I noticed though when I was recapping Veronic Caz for my retired podcast, Veronica Cars invvestigations This is like a twenty plus year old spoiler. Episode ten of the first season there is a party that a rich actor throws And he's had an affair with one of the catering staff and she's angry and she stabs him. And the reason why it's a surprise is like basically no one notices The staff until that happens. like they might as well be invisible. It's an incredible cover because the richoes are just oblivious to everything that they're doing Would you notice other kind of upstairs downstairs things as well, but that one was set in the modern era, which maybe why it stood out more than like Gford Park. In the next series of the White Lotus, the butler does do it though because they haven't actually done that yet if they could be able like really, you know, like the hotel suitetses where you get a private butck there Actually, yeah, that is beible for the white lotus Then finally, this trope will be justified. Get it done, Mike White, This is your legacy. Hello, I'm Emily and I'm Charlotte. And I'm and together we are the B sisters. I've just been on the Mor. Have you, I love the Mor. It's so very moorish. I know. Why do we both write questions to answer me this? Good idea. Let's see who gets published first. Okay I've got one. I've got one Helen and Ollie It's me. It's Kathy. I've come home and I'm so old. w't she let me in your window? No good all right, Myon. Helen and Ollie, How did that mad womoman get in my atticude? Oh ye good. Right, Wh did we go and spend two years working that into a manuscript? Good idea. What about me? No, I shouldn't bother An no one will read yours T for a question from Lucy in Brooklyn, who says I am an athletic woman in my seventies. and also a word nerd haaving had many years of Latin in my youth. may I recommend my podcast, the llusionist, theillllusionist at all When I retired a couple of years ago, I joined two seniors groups that keep both mind and body active. Great One of these groups offers a wide range of activities from bird watching and playing sports to eating gang lunches out and or day drinking. Senior groups have more fun in Brooklyn than they do in Northondon, I can tell you that for a fact Whilst I enjoy the first two options the most, because I like to keep moving and get whatever fresh air I can, I occasionally join one of the lunch or bar dates to see different folks However, At these indoor events, there is a man, I'll call Joe. a widower. who is lonely and rather sad and who for lack of a better term, keeps hitting on me. Oh I try not to get stuck near him. At a bar, I can walk away and talk to somebody else, but when we're sitting in a restaurant, I can't just get up and change my seat. He drones on with one sad story after another. And of course I feel bad But at this age, most of us have had a good bit of tragedy in our lives, it makes me uncomfortable and is a buzzkill. Yeah, fair enough, you're going there for fun. You sound like a party penschioner, Lucy. I like the sort of nursery attitude as well. L my grandma was always like this. I mean, she was in her nineties, not seventies, so time was really ticking on, but she was just like, I don't need to I'm done with sickngs people I'm not interested in. I don't don want to speak to him. Fair enough, you don't want to waste your remaining years with bad anecdotes. Yeah I'm forty five and I feel that. Lucy continues. He has mobility issues, so doesn't often join in the more active outdoor activities. but she says. I don't feel like I should exclude myself from the equally enjoyable lunch. I don't want to be hurtful, and while I don't mind being a tiny bit rude to get my message of course than you are from Brooklyn I would rather not be that person I get it. He knows, I have a partner and a family But this does not seem to deter him. In a way, it makes it a bit easier for him because he's like, well, I can flirt with no fear of consequence. Everyone knows this above board. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah So Helen answers me this, How should I deal with this guy without seeming like a total bitch? and still set boundaries? M. You've said he's got mobility issues, which makes it sound like he would be easier for you to get away from if you just sat somewhere else. likeike if you arrive late so he's already seated and you don't sit near him That's a move, right Another one would be, are you friendly enough with anyone else in the group You can be with them at all times so that he doesn't have as much of a chance to get his hooks in. Like they're basically running interference for you And he's got another person to talkat slash another person that will interrupt his conversation. Yeah sure. but I mean if he's choosing you, if he's coming to sit next to you, he's probably going to get that you're trying to fop him off, which you are You're doing all this to try not to be rude, and yet that will be fairly obvious to him, won't it? Like if you are actively avoiding him and then sitting him next to someone else Yeah, it's rough, but I think they often like we can't really avoid hurting O people's feelings You know What's interesting to hear this anecdote for me is that, like I say, with some experience second hand of senior groups in the hood where I live, The thing that I hear most often is that they're full of women because they're so many widows. So actually, Generally, the men can be awful boars and still have groups of women sitting around them because a lot of women don't particularly just want female company and like having men there And actually's quite easy for the men to be incredibly dull and still attract dinner companions. So I've never heard it this way round where a female guest is kind of saying, I'd much rather be speaking to the women here rather than him It doesn't seem to me to be that difficult because I'd imagine that there are women in there. who are there to meet men, like women who don't have partners anymore. Maybe Joe is drawn to Lucy because Lucy's not interested. Yes, yeah. Joe's like she's the only person here playing hard to get. I think there might be something in that. Yeah. So maybe weirdly the answer would be to be flirtacious, but that is not something that we could advise when the man is sitting on you against your will. doesn't sound app. Maybe you can make it into a game, Lucy. Maybe you could just start telling him such gross out anecdotes that he doesn't want to sit with you while you're eating We've got a couple of friends who OBGYN's and Martin it's often a little queasy when we have lunch with them because they talk about the worst things they've seen in hospital that week. Tissue necrosis kind of stuff. They're really I mean to that stuff because It's a normal work. A same point And I'm not that squimish because I used to work in hospitals, but it's also just like I drink a cup of china here guys. No I'm just thinking of foaming past I do know this thing of like people who are a bit old and sad, because we have a village walk where I live. and I tried it a couple of times because I like walking And I wanted to meet people of all different ages, you know, from across the village, but I found myself at the back with a just really miserable wom. was just moaning about everything. And for two hours there was no joy and we were doing an activity that was supposed to be fun Everything' like, oh, it's raining now. so I'm I'm going to get a cold. Oh we went this way last time. This is a nightmare. It was like that the whole way round. And it was like after two hours, I did almost want to like spin around and just like fucking cheer up. we're all here to meet people. She broke ollie mad So I do identify with and it was really difficult. What do you say? like when someone's just a bit of a down up, you know? I probably would pretend to get a phone call Oh sorry, I've got to take this. Oh and then hang back and like walk with someone else by a win Cid he say something like Someone's got a really really big case of the grumps or Looks like someong got out have bed the wrong side today. and then like pinch their chicks Yeah, I guess, I mean, in this case, one sad story after another, Lucy says. I mean, he's presumably talking about bereavements, you know, illnesses You can't really reply with someone's goingone out bed the roongside, can you? Even if that is what you're thinking. When your children were really little, Llly, did you have techniques you used to redirect their mood? if they were just sort of grizzling about something and you were like What noise does a cow make? And they're like Yes. anythingything like that that you could try on an adult crops like what Lego brick with a child. Okay. so Lucy could take a Lego brick to lunch because this guy could be a Legoy. That's for all ages. Could be veryery portable. Distraction technique Yeah, dominoes, Top Trumps something whip it out where the conversation is not going the way you want. It's not a terrible concept Because that involves more people around you as well, doesn't? take a cribage board with you wherever you go. Yeah. but there's probably a different cribage club in this network of activity doers Then you might get a terfall. Whoope cushion. No one can be miserable when you're playing with a whoope cushion I're kind of miserable when there's like fart noises when I'm trying to eat. We're watching Letic Kenny at the moment over dinner and that is trying me some episodes Otherwise very good show. Well if you have a suggestion for Lucy to fob off this boring widow she doesn't want to be around Then two reach out via the Usual places which are listed upon our websites answering thispodcast. com which is where you should send your questions as well. Yes, in the form of voice, recording or written down. And on there as well you can find links to Patronise us to help keep the show going and also to get a bunch of perks. Inluding at all tiers, access to all four hours so far of our live web stream series Petty probleroblems. Thank you everybody who joined us last week. If you haven't seen it yet and you are a Patreon member, you can watch it whenever you like at your own convenience in the latest episode We discuss vegan salad dressings unintentionally communal driveways, and mystery bags of dog shit. and you can also listen to this show ad free and at higher tiers, you can get every single answ meest thing ever, including our albums, Our classic episodes, that's one to two hundred retros me this is with our Commentary of remorse. And our bonus bits. Right, the bits of crap on the app. It's a lot of extra answer me this audio. And whatever teier you take on Patreon, you are supporting this show, thank you. Yay. And once you've finished all of that answer me this stuff, listen to our other audio work. What's Ollie Manot cooking this month? Let me refer you to my daily history podcast todayoday in History with the Retrospectors Coming up in February, we will be discussing how and why Charlie Chaplin founded United Artists. We are watching back the first ever Tom and Jerry cartoon and we are answering just how Nazi Volkswagens are. You search for todayoday in history with the retetrospectors wherever you find your podcast. So we've done just how Naziia Volkswagens in this show before, as well as just how Naziia added asses Just how Nazi as Hugo was Spoiler a little bit Nazy. Helen. Yes. What have you got in your world? What have I got? Well, my voice is back and therefore so is the illusionist. Also, I mentioned Veronica Mars earlier. if you want to listen to me and the wonderful Jen Owen Youngs recapping that, then it is available at vMippod. com and in the pop places. I mean That is hours of Committed entertainment, isn't it? because you abolutely I ideeally, you'd watch the episode ofon of C Mars, then listen to your recap. Totally. And then you could watch the episode of Ron of Camars again with the recap in mind and then listen to our episode again now that you've refreshed on, you know, you can just keep going One of the fun things in it is our friend Lo, who introduced me to Veronic Cars does a thing called The Lowdown where she talks about all the crimes being committed in the course of Veronic Cars episode, which is so many. Martin, what have you got cooking? What have I gotoo on? Anhing exciting. January has just been time of hibernation. I mean, there's all this stuff I've done the past, ass song by song, a four hundred plus episode ight year Odyssey into the music Tom Whitite, There's Nutrino Watch, my experimental podcast. Different every day. And there's my music palebirdmusic. comot cheheck all of those out. I'm sort of in between releasing something cool and new, but when I do, you will be the first to know. Before you get on to releasing something cool and new, can you please write us a new jingle for our Patreon? Oh yeah, thanks. Sure's Martin Subscribe at a H tier to get pictures of Martin's holes. We will Be back with an Answers backack mid February and then AMT four hundred one fif on Thursday, the twenty sixth of February. Tell your friends. Bye