Jessica's Michigan Family Revelation

Welcome welcome, welcome to Armed chair anonymous. I'm Dack Shepherard. I'm joined Lily Padman Family secrets. Family secrets are dangerous. One was so juicy they didn't even show up. So juicy, they pulled the no show up. That's great. But the others. ye. Yeah. Family secrets are fun. There's a really fun one in here I've retold. Yes, there's a really repeat worthy one in this one. Please enjoy Your own are hard to enjoy. So enjoy other people's family secrets This episode is brought to you by American Beverage. We've probably all had that moment where someone says something about an ingredient in your drink and you're like, shouldhould I be worried about that? And then you look it up and immediately end up in the wildest corners of the internet with completely contradicting information. All I want is clear transparent information. and I bet you do too. That's why American Beverage launched Good to K. It's a site where you can look up over one hundred and forty common beverage ingredients, what they are, how they're used, how they've been reviewed for safety, no spin or judgment. just facts. You can decide for yourself. Visit good to Knowfacts. org for more information We get support from Quince Have you been wearing the Qinslin shirts? Yeah. I've been wearing them a suspicious amount. Yeah, European linen ones. They're thirty four bucks, which is genuinely insane for how nice they are. It doesn't even make sense. Well here's the deal. They work directly with the factories, cut out all the middlemen, so you're paying for the actual quality and not some brand's marketing budget Everything's fifty percent to eighty percent less than comparable stuff. I love it because it's all very classic and traditional and I know I'm going to be able to keep it for a very long time and the quality' off the charts. That's true. The style is very consistent. Whatever you get there, you walk down the street, you're gonna look good. They have these lightweight cotton sweaters, which I love for when it cools down at night,'s nice Drape around your shoulders in the summer and then throw it on when it gets a little cool. And it's not just clothes. They do home stuff, ding ding ding, travel stuff, everyday essentials. It's all the same model, quality without the markup. Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quince dot com slash ds for free shipping on your order and three hundred sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too That's Qu I nCE dot com slash dax for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Quints d. com slash dax A times come and go T Tound. Take them slow S You gota know Keep shining Hello. You seem to be at work. Are you at work? I am at work. todayoday is, of course Of all times. It's like an annual huge celebration where I work. And so it would be noticed if I were missed So we're making it work. An annual celebration. That sounds like a fun place to work. It is a great place to work. I'm keeping it kind of vague there. Yeah, it's a big annual celebration, kindind of celebrating how well we did like the previous year and they treat us very well. As long as it's not to honor the founder That kind of yearly celebration might be dice. the founder's birthday. Yeah, yeallie. Everyone has to celebrate the founder. It's about the people that work here and nothing but good things.s beautiful. L lovely. And are you allowed to tell us what part of the country you're in? Absolutely. I am in Arizona. was Justin Sedona thought of you guys and your love for that space as well I have a lot of affinity for Tucson as well. We used to have a lot of car shows out there and we would always stay at the same hotel. It was a very desert landscape in the back patio. It fel like a movie set. and mountains in the background. It's lovely there. Most things I can agree with you on, that one I'm not gonna If you're a native to Arizona, which both my husband and I are, you're not usually a fan of Tucson unless you want to ofA, then you have to get like indoctrinated into saying good things about Tucson Right, right, right. Okay, so you have a family secret story I sure do. So first I have to give credit to my niece Jossie way back when she used to do my lashes of like nonc consensally sitting there listening to you guys. So anyone that's sat in her chair is an arm chairry. But over the years hearing all of the prompts and the stories Im like, oh God, I hope one pops up for this because it's such a, I think bizre story, at least it'selt bizarre for me because it's like an onion peeled back the layers starting at like age twelve to even like as of a year ago. Oh exciting. wow, wow wow. Late nineteen hundreds are really nineteen ninety seven ninet ninety eight, I'm in middle school, biology class and we're learning about dominant recessive traits. Big R little R, you're doing your punet square. and the assignment is to go home and find out what your mom's blood type is, your dad's blood type, put yours in there. It should all make sense. The math didn't math on that for me Probably teachers hadn't thought about that in this age of like, what happens when my kind of case comes up. So as an only child, to older parents, my first thought was like Maybe I'm adopted. I go to my mom and I ask her, Hey mom curious my adopted. Can I ask a quick question? Yeah. When you asked dad for his blood type was like, oh yeah, oh positive. And when you asked mom, mom was like, didid you detect any hesitation on mom's part with cooperating with this? Great question. So I think she was the first one to be like, o meg. And then my dad came around. and he just didn't really didn think much of it just said it really quick. So when I asked my mom that question, she like paused and then she started to cry, which really freaked me out. And she goes, whyy would you ask me that? And I was like, Well It's either that or you cheated on dad. so I was just going with the best of two.. Yeah. She starts crying and tells me your dad and I had fertility issues and we ended up going to a sperm donor and she was like, you know, your dad just was never very interested in sex and he was done with doctors touching him. So we went the sperm donor route, but we were assured that it was a incredible donor, they were medical resident, like all of this stuff. spoiler alert, that wasn't the truth either. 'cause it was the eighties and it was the wild wild West with fertility, which I'll get to that too as another part of it. So I was happy with that answer. I actually never approached my dad ever and ever told him I knew. And it just stayed between my mom and I because as far as I was concerned, like, that's my dad. Fortunately, I look almost identical to my mom. There's pictures to come later. But then I start noticing other things as I'm getting older, like you're going to sleepovers and I can remember a group of girls complaining, o my go, I totally heard my parents doing it the other night, like gross. And my first response was Oh my gosh are you getting a little brother or sister Because in my mind, I had never seen like affection between my parents. I just associated sex with it's when you have a baby. still dealing with unraveveling some of those pieces too, but kind of just noticed some different things about my dad One of his best friends. and then flash to, I'm now like nineteen and moving out. and I'd come over for dinner like after moving out and my mom pulls me a sign was like, Hey, I came around the corner to your dad's den, like his little office area the other and he was looking at gay porn. And his response was I was just trying to access a link that was in the men's Health magazine to like take a quiz. That's a pretty good excuse. It's not bad. There's say men's Health magazine. you're like, Yeah. I could see it. whichich then she's like kindind of makeakes sense. You know, I always wondered if something had happened to him growing up or when he was in the army, like it just makes sense a lot of these things. So it's like, I'll do some digging, I'll look in the computer for you. I'll let know what I find. And just pause for half a second. It's crazy to me, but of course, I've never been in this situation. I'm in no position to judge It's wild to me that it took your mother minimally nineteen years that she needed something that concrete too start questioning. Right. Or is she fittming to you, either or those are interesting. I think that there's other pieces to that, probablybably deep down, she knew definitely had some self esteem issues. and you know, at that point, they had been married so long, it was almost just like this mutual understanding or agreement, like they're just good partners He had retired before her, she was still working at that point. It was just kind of fine how it was. And they were just also the mind, it was just better to have two parents in the home than not. And so like that kind of drove a lot of them making their own sacrifices come to find out. like guys I've gotten not to really the sacrifices each one of them made, not having true love, not being their authentic self. But when I got on there, definitely wasn't him trying to get on to men's health D deffinitely had a type Big heath Ledger fan. Oh L Yeah join. not judging. is in the ninety ninth percent aile. So I put everything on a desk, gave it to my mom, and just kind of said, do what this, what you want. Ultimately, she decided never to bring it up. She was really afraid he might harm himself or he was just from that era. It wasn't gonna happen. He ended up passing away in twenty seventeen and still never said anythingope He came to peace with it and it shift from like sad to funny again. We had him cremated and in between like moves and we had my mom move in with us, we lost dad for a few years, lost his ashes. Oh Okay little mix up. Turns out when we were trying to look for a very obscure object in the guestroom closet, it was in there. So even in death, my dad is still in a closet. Oh, it is sad It is sad he didn't get to li his. But then it was just maybe a year ago that his only sibling, his brother was in hospice and I was visiting with my aunt and telling her. It was the first time I' talked to anybody about the sperm donor about losing dad's ashes and finding them and like the stuff about my dad being gay. And she was like, Honey, I know your dad was gay. I thought he was with, I don't want to say this person's name. we'll just say Sam, I thought they were partners. It was my dad's colle roommate, friends till the end, until he brought your mom over for dinner. And I was like, o, but I'm like, S, if you knew, how come my mom didn't know? So like there's other things sick about mom I'm like, How did you not know? And so I also went on to ancestry after my dad passed. I was like, what if there's other people in the world that look like me? also would love to know about health concerns between twenty three and me and Ancestry There's like eighteen Halves these. no regulation. to boot this donor wasas not a vetted donor. It was just a friend of the doctor who was getting like twenty bucks a Dixie cup. Sure. This is common from back then. It's so interesting. You're lucky it wasn't the doctor. I mean that's. Yeah. It's common. It's common. And this guy didn't tell his family either. So like I guess some of the early folks that had gone on to ancestry reached out use you can message people in ancestry. I guess they got like a nasty grum back. likeike you're making this up. This is a conspiracy. so that's his family's secret. I w want to expose that for them. But like he did not tell his family. I'm even a few months older than like his oldest biological son. So you were out there shooting into Dixie cups before. That's a young man's game for sure. I had to look up to say like what would twenty bucks be and today's like six one bucks? Like that's a great gig Yeah. I tried UCLA. I feel blessed that I didn't have a good sperm count Because I would now al no, I'd be fine with that if I ever meet a bunch of people Would you really tell me I feel. Well, I think I'd have to support all those people. There'd be that I'm not looking to go to anybody's Christmases or be written into the will. J just wanted to know some hell stuff. So the pictures that you have there There's gonna be one I don't know what theyre gonna be. There's one of my mom and dad like, way back when. Well, your mother's so cute. She was a hottie. She still is. Now as I've taken my rose colored glasses off and'm like, he was an immaculate dresser. I was just gonna say Very stylish. Once I married my husband the in laws, all were like, yeah, he's got Lord Farkquart hair. I think I saw my dad's ears once in my entire life when we were on a boat and the wind blew his hair back, but like he blow ded that every morning And I did include a picture of the donor in there too just to prove like I do not look like him, but there's just pictures of my dad over the years. He maintained that look, man Yeah. But it was like writing on the wall, everyone but me and even more like, I get it. I was a kid. I didn't know any different. But my mom, I'm like, what the hell, mom? Well She was probably just in denial O even maybe sad or like, I'll take whoever loves me. I just wanna be loved Is this gentleman with your father in this photo? Is that the pres Yes. That's the college roommate. They would go to dinner and be gone for like five, six hours. Well. And I hope they were. And did that man have a family? He did. He also had a wife and one child, one daughter. It was like a mirror. Wow. How ironic your father loved Heath Ledger 'cause he was living Brooke backack Mountain Oh maybe that's part I never thought about that. Okay, and now here's your biological father. He looks so different than your dad.. I just like continue to find things like that was a new one. J evenven last year talking to my aunt and being like, I mean, you knew and you just assumed, like how we never talked about this? Like I'm forty one years old and like we're just talking about it. I'm delighted that you had that moment with her because that makes me less sad for your dad. It makes me feel like he did have Some kind of outlet. Yeah. And one or two people that really saw him. Wow.. It's a juicy one. Thankful for the donor in the end, thankful for my dad, all the things a great story. I get to come meet you guys. Well, Ashley, we're so grateful that you were willing to take a little time out of the celebration to join us. Absolutely. I'll get back to those free food trucks downstairs Oh wow, this is a good druuck. Yeah.ot like a little hot bar with fucking catering microwave nuggets. There's a couple of tents. one of them's like an eighties tent with some skiball down there. Oh my God. Wells nice. You guys take care of. All right, bye bye Genetic. There are dime a dozen these days. Well, the lesson that should be learned for anyone who donated sperm, Don't ever take a twenty three M me or genealogy or at least minimally don't check that box Definitely And they're coming. They're coming for you. It's a really interesting thought experiment, whether I'd want to know. So that was in two thousand or ninety nine in two thousand So my child would be twenty six years old. Yeah. Do you think you would think of it as yours? If you thought of it as yours, I think that'd be hard for you. Well, I know me. Yeah. I would have to get super involved. Right Exactly And like you can't. So for me, it would be a bummer something like, I wouldn't have picked to have ten kids because I know I have limited bandwidth. And yeah, I would be like, if they're struggling, are you kidding me? And they're struggling with addiction, I gave them those fucking genatics. That's not I would feel like I need to help them I gave it to him. Well, no, you jerked off and then gave them my genetic Someone else picked out of a binder. I remember filling out that questionnaire, you know, Vaguely, You just want to make money, man, I'm be honest then that is bad Yeah like I think I lied to the extent of like I've never done drugs. No, I don't even know if it ask that, but maybe some hell stuff. You know, like I had cancer pretty close to my family. I think I left up some health things because I was like, I need this hundred bucks. Well, it worked out. You didn't get it. By the way, so they told me Right because Iave them a sample and they're like, yeah, you don't have a high enough sperm count. That was that. But what if I do get a knock knock Now I've got at least a juicy lawsuit against the Sperm Bank. That's probably already out of business. But wasn't it UCLA? The ad was in the Bwin That was our newspaper.ure. And then the medical office was in the UCLA medical campus, but I don't really know if they were officially affiliated with the school or not I guess you can rent space. Should I sue UCLA, which is suing basically the state of California, which is suing the tax bay. Yeah wa till the news gets out that I have the taxpayer give me ten million dollars. I'm sure America's gonna love that story. It'd be for those fucked up kids I ced. Give them to all those adicts It would be the fun to support all these kids I have that are addicts. 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Head to squarespace. com slash dAax for a free trial. and when you're ready to launch, use offer code DAax to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain This episode is supported by Helix. All right, let's talk about something we both really care deeply about. Sleep. It's the most important thing. I've had my Helix mattress for years now and I genuinely think it's one of the best investments you can make for your home. Mine still feels just like it did when I first got it. Well, that's the thing. It's not one of those mattresses that caves in after six months. These things are built to last. And you know, I'm a side sleeper I ordered a side sleeper and I get hot so I have cooling. and I can't tell you how much more comfortable it is to be in there not sweating and tossing and turning. Cooling is really important. I've read that you're supposed to sleep a little bit cold. So I also have cooling. and they have over twenty models, so it's not a one size fits all situation. You just go take their quiz and they match you to what actually works for your body Plus, they've got cooling upgrades, which heading into summer, non negotiable. Truly Go to helelixleep dot com slash armchair for twenty percent off. That's helixleep dot com slash armchair for twenty percent off. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you Helixleep dot com slash armchair This episode is brought to you by Sopfi all in one finance app where you can bank, borrow, and invest all in one place. Let's talk bank accounts for a second. The average bank savings rate is zero point three nine percent in interest. You're earning pennies on your savings, but it does not have to be that way. With so high high yield checking and savings, the money barely making moves sitting in your savings account can earn over eight times the national average savings rate with eligible direct deposit. No account or overdraft fees, which feels rare these days. You can get your paycheck up to two days early, perfect for getting ahead of a bill or grabbing what you need right when you need it. Plus, get up to a three hundred dollars welcome bonus when you sign up with eligible direct deposit Sign up for SFi checking and savings at sofi d. com slash arrmshare SoOFI chehecking and savings is offered through SOFI Bank NA member FDIC terms Apply Hello. Hello. Hi, Is this Shane in quote? This is Shane. Shane, where are you So I am located in Vancouver, Canada. Oh, our second Vancouveran today. What do we call people from Vancouver? Vancouver rightes. I hope that's right. Oh, Cambu Oh Camoo for. And have you been in Vancouver your whole life? I have. I have moved around to a few different cities when I was younger, so Australia and out east Eastern Canada. So yeah, I've been a few places but Vancouver' always been my home Was it parents's job taking you to Australia, Eastern Canada? No, I did a university exchange, so I did a semester out that way. In Australia? Yeah. Did you have so much fun? I had a great time, not so much studying, but lots of time on the beach. Did you have an Australian lover while you were there? I did not. No I was in a relationship. Oh okay. Okay Okay, so you have a family secret. I have a family secret that's still a secret to this day. Oh. This story takes place way back in two thousand eight I was just twenty two years old. and I just graduated college I was also recently single. And so before, you know, entering the working world, I wanted to like just have some fun. So I thought, okay, I'm gonna go do a solo backpacking trip Europe. I thought that would be a great idea. It just so happened that A cousin of mine was getting married in London, England. So I thought, okay, normally I wouldn't Go to this wedding, but I thought the timing aligned. I'll go for a week with my family And then I'll go off. So leading up to the trip I was seeing someone casually and did see this person a few days before the trip didnn't think anything of it does become a little relevant later in the story. So it's the day of the trip I'm on the plane. I'm in the middle seat It's my mom to my left on the window. and there's a stranger to the right. and about halfway through, I just start to feel this down there Okay, great. Okay, itchy, itchy. Scratchchy, scratchchy. J in the general area there. G great way to start your trip. Yeah. And I'm just like worst place because there's no privacy. It's my mom and a stranger and I'm right in between these people. And so I realize if I put my hands in my pocket I can briefly, you know, just subtly relieve myself. If I put the tray table down, pull it out that gives me a little cover. and I just figure it's like dry, irritated skin. Wishful, thank you. Oh no. After a very difficult flight We make it. I'm okay. I survived. I'm just relieved to be off this plane. And just for context, I'm of Indian heritage. I'm pretty Western My mom's side of the family, which this wedding is, is a lot more traditional. We're staying at the bride's house So there's a week long of things going on every day. Yeah, Th these Indian weddings for people don't know are the most spectacular events on planet Earth, right? A buddy of mine went to one in Chicago and there's like elephants and stuff. They go hard for weddings no. It is a big, big life event. It's a little much for me, but I was doing my family obligation and you know going to this wedding and it's a typical London home, pretty small There's gonna to be fifteen people in this house. So mattresses on the floor, one bathroom. There's just no privacy, right? And so the next few days go fine And we're about two days before the wedding. The sitch is getting worse to the point now where I'm realizing I won't be able to survive the wedding day in this state. I decide I'm gonna go have a look So I go to the bathroom, I lock the door, and that's when I discover it's crabs. yeah Oh my go bet your acid is. Okay. so crabs ual Lice. You know, they're like a bug ye. Is it an STD Well yeah it jumps from the pubic hair of your sexual partner onto yours and then you lie in a very communal bed But you could get it, even if someone's sleeping on the bed, he is Let's find out. That's my hart That's my hope, not my hope. one out there. Okay. But do you realize it is Krabs? I mean, do you know enough to realize that's what's happening once you look? As soon as I saw that, it just clicked. Yep. this is crabs. Knowing who I was with, it all kind of sh. I was panicked and I' never had this happen before In my mind, I'm not the type of person be in this position. L I don't contract crabs. I'm just in complete shock at this point. I'm really inexperienced with these sorts of things. I don't know what to do. And there's just a few problems that I'm faced with. Iigh one cannot confide in anyone. My cousins are all just younger innocent teenagers and I don't really know them that well. And then everyone else older, there's no way I'm gonna be telling them. There's no smartphones There's no car. whereere we are is not super walkable and probably the biggest issue is No one can leave the house without it just becoming a field trip. So I couldn't just say, Hey guys, I'm going for a walk Yeah to go find a doctor. Like there's just no way anyone would let me leave. Yeah. So I need to come up with plan to get this solved at this point because I'm really starting to have a hard time and I'm just feeling completely trapped. So I come up with a plan that I think is going to jump over these obstacles. So I decide to go to the bathroom I find one alive. I relocate it to my arm I would say that they're similar to lice, but just more crabby looking. So now it is on my arm. I go down to the family room where there's a big group of people and I just yell, Oh my God, it's Lice pointing to my arm. Wonderful. And then there's just immediate panic. The bride is panicking. I just say my head's been itchy, a little kids are being checked. Everyone freaks out and then things just kind of get out of control, out of my control Byat takes the specimen and puts it in a jar. No. Of course, no one finds any lice Right. Oh no. what if they were like, there's one here, there's one in my hair.'s of the in my pubic hair. They werere just looking in the wrong place. So the reaction was just so much bigger than I anticipated. I thought they were like, let's get him some treatment But it was like because nothing could be found, we're in close quarters, peopleople are already stressed because of this wedding. It was like, we need to hit this with everything we got and get this under control because people are coming over. there's All sorts of stuff happening. And so luckily no one pursued trying to ID this thing And the plan was after things settled down, let's go to the pharmacy. And this is perfect because this is what I wanted. I needed something to fix my problem. So We la a mission to the pharmacy. This is the most pivotal moment for me because I need to get something. I'm completely panicked and I've raised the stake so high now, putting my family through all this chaos with wedding events and people are trying to sort out their outfits for the wedding and I'm Just trying to treat my crabs here. Yeah. So I just need this to work. And so we go to the pharmacist and the pharmacist brings out your standard life shampoo and I just think to myself, this maybe could work, but I don't know if it will. might it might not. I couldn't walk away there with a maybe. And was any family membber standing directly next to you as you were interacting with the pharmacist There was about five of us. It was a group effort. I'm just sitting there thinking, I got to do something. So I ask the pharmacist. I say, do you have anything else? And he says, Yeah, there's this, it's just a little more expensive. I look at the bottle And it's labeled for headlice and genital crabs. Let's go, Shane. just so relieved inside But I need to play the act that were just shopping for headlice. I asked For both bottles I just stare at them discerningly for about thirty seconds, comparing and contrasting, really putting on this show like I'm really trying to decide here. Isn't it fun everyone gets to be an actor at some point in my life? We've all like long before I got to Hollywood, I was doing bullshit like this. Oh, man, maybe I'll go like, you're acting like you're on the fence. You' the fence. Exactly. After that few seconds, I just point to the one that was labeled crabs and I just say I think this one is better. No one questioned it And we bought enough for the house. Wonderful. R. So we went back I got myself, I was totally relieved. Everyone else is getting shampooed. bedding is being washed. in a panic. Up until that point, I was a trapped animal point I'm now like feeling guilt because I lo over and the bride is stressed. The mother of the bride is literally like scalp massaging my seventy eight year old grandmother. Listen, it's not gonna do anything bad No. Maybe it's good. Maybe one of them did have lies. Four gramps. So in the end, everything worked out. The wedding went on. I had a great trip and We were all free of any bugs or insects going forward. That's a reason. They never found out. They never found out, although I will say about seventeen years later now So my wife knows this story and some of my friends. and my daughter who' in elementary school, there was a recent lice outbreak in the classroom And we were telling my mom about this. And so my mom decides to retell the London life story to my wife like she's hearing it for the first time. She just says to my wife And these weren't normal lice we have here in Canada They had bigger legs and much stronger They almost look like crabs. They're also so lucky and I'm surprised that none of those Indian people were doctors. Shocking actually. Yeah. And I would have been like, that is not a l. No, that is a sexually transmitted disease. And they would shouted Sure. Same Shame. Oh wow. Oh, I like that story. It' very cute and sweet. It is. When you got home, did you ever share what had been passed on from your previous lover? Did you let them know? I didn't. Okay, sure. Should I didn? Well listen, you got it from them and not the other way around. so I feel like you're less inclined to it. But The otherical thing is to go PS you're passing along this. You need to get this. although I guess the nice thing about crabs, like you could have chlamydia, especially if you're a dude for years and not know, which is really bad. ye. Maybe even vice versa You're not missing crabs. You probably didn't need to tell her. she probably figured that out. That's what I figured Oh This was delightful. Yeah, I love it. Thank you so much. And would it be possible for my wife to say quick hello? She's a huge fan? Absolutely. ye Hi guys. Oh you remind me of Elizabeth Elizabeth Lame. It's a compliment. H H compliment. High praise. H high praise Oh This is so surreal. my gosh. That was a great story. I'm glad he submitted it, so that's good. Me too. It's so innocent. It. It is, I know. And it's funny, I was at work today and I left at lunch to come home and my coworkers are like, Ohh, what's the story? I'm like, I don't know that's kind of personal. Until next Friday.. Well, it's so nice to meet you, both of you. You too. Thank. Yes. Thank. Have a great day Okay, you too. All right, takeake care. Bye Have you read lice You know, my thing with life though is they would come check in my room, the teachers. and then when a new mom got to me and said, you get checked? I'd lie and say no., I would try to get it three tim. I lie This episode is sponsored by Better Help So Monica, here's something that really stuck with me. BetterHelp's twenty twenty six state of stigma repeport surveyed two thousand Americans and revealed that eighty five percent of Americans believe getting support is wise. Yet seventy four percent say society discourages people from doing so. That's a huge gap. Most of us agree therapy is a good thing, but there's still something holding some people back from actually going Right. And I think that's where just talking about it, normalizing it makes a difference. I mean, as you know, I'm I obsessed with thepy. I've been in it consistently for years and years and years. and I have said this and I shouldn't say it, but I do think if you're struggling and you've been struggling for a while and you haven't sought therapy, I judge you a little bit. Oh. Okay Yeah I know when I'm not And I gott to go to therapy to work on that, you know, but also there are options for you. You can help yourself And Betterhelp makes that first step easier. They match you with a licensed therapist based on your needs and with over thirty thousand therapists and twelve plus years of experience, they typically get the match right the first time. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with Better Help. signign up and get ten percent off at betterhelp dot com slash DAax. That's betterhlp dot com slash DAax We get support from Sims. Monica has been on a whole kick lately. I really have. When I get new Sims, it is like Christmas. I get so excited. I love skims and they have skims cotton, which I literally reach for every single day. The fabric is really soft, but it also holds its shape. There's nothing worse Then Sagsville. Exactly. It's really bad. Skim's never does that. Every single piece I've gotten from them still looks brand new after a lot of washes, there's no stretching, They lay perfectly and they support in all the right places. You're pretty particular about that stuff too, which is saying something. It is. and I'll just say it, the lightweight cotton thong is the best one I've ever tried I also have their cotton jersey t shirt. I have it in black and I really love it. It is a tight fit, but it is very flattering. Sometimes I don't love a tight fit shirt, but Skims just does everything right. I really don't know what they're doing over there. The t shirt is perfect for summer. It's a great summer shirt, G get yours, shop Skims cotton and all of my favorite pieces at skims dot com d After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select ArmTra experpert in the dropd down menu that follows Overwhelmed That was me with diabetes Hey, I'm Jabron Between teaching and coaching, managing diabetes felt like an extra job With the freeestyle Librate three CGM, I get real time glucose readings and have the insights to make informed decisions. My life feels sler now Learn more at freestyleibbraay. us The views expressed should not be used for medical diagnosis or treatment as a substitute for professional medical advice. Individual circumstances may vary for prescription only, safety andfo found at Freestyle Libra. US Jessica, can you hear us He yes, Can you hear me?? Yes. Did they check your head for lic in elementary school with like the mom's volunteer and come in with those big Q tips? Lic in Sigo. Yep. Yeah. I was just saying I used to lie and pretend they hadn't checked my hair so that I could get multiple checks.ome hairplay. Yeah., that's right. I can feel myself sitting at my desk. you have full body chills Oh, my daughter got it twice. Oh twice And you never got it? No. Wow. that's lucky. Shared custody with her dad. so at her dad's house they got it. didn't bring it to me. I had to monitor. God, I really live in fear of it, honestly. I'm trying to do context clues. Do you live in San Francisco? No, I live outside of Charleston, South Carolina Does your family secret take place in South Carolina? Not really, no. Where are you from originally? Michigan. Yay. Where about? I grew up in Dearbourne Heights. Oh wonderful. Those moms were definitely checking lice over in Dearbourne Oh god, yeah. Yeah yeah. Did your family work for Ford? No, actually, my uncle worked for Chrysler. I don't think anybody in my family worked for Ford, but yeah, he was long term at Chrysler. All right, so let us know what is the family secret? We love secrets. A bit of a buildup, of course, because it's a secret. It can't be all told at once. That's right. I grew up in Michigan. My sister grew up in Michigan My mom grew up in Vermont in a little tiny town called Winuski Vermont. So shout out Wooki Vermont. All twelve people, six of whom I'm probably related to. She grew up there but had to move to Michigan right after junior year of high school. So she had to finish senior year like in Michigan. So nineteen fifty eight in Michigan. she had to move was not happy about it, actually like very angry at her parents about it for a really long time. So she lived her life. She had my sister in ' seventy six and she had me in ' seventy eight. So we're all Gx here. And then eventually we all kind of ended up down south. I moved here in two thousand five. My sister moved to Florida in two thousand eight And then my mom moved down here in twenty ten two years after my daughter was born. So She moved on here to be close to her granddaughter. And she stayed here until she passed away in twenty twenty one. Thankfully, it wasn't like a super prolonged, terrible illness. It was DOPDs. And like shortly after she died, I got a message on Facebook from somebody saying, hi, this is your sister. I have been in touch with mom for a few years and I just want to know like where she's gonna to be buried so that I can visit. Oh boy. Oh wow. I was like at my daughter'sollyball game, I'm like This is a joke, not a funny one, but this is weird. Well, and obviously your mom has just recently died, right If we're talking about the funeral. Yeah. And like she grew up Roman Catholic. She's like one of eleven kids. So I'm like, okay, this is not at all happening. Oh, she plays like these online banko games. I'm like, it's like an unstable person who has adopted my mom. mom's been nice to her. But then she started sending me like screenshots of their texts And I was like Okay, she's not saying she's not her mom. so the heck. So we finally like after exchanging messages, it became apparent that she is my mom's daughter. My mom gave birth to her in nineteen sixty So ten years before my sister was born.