Listener Feedback and Closing Remarks

Some people would say it's arrogant. Other people would say it was innovative . But we put on sale tickets to our live show for Bad Chat before we even had a podcast. I just think it shows confidence. Yes. We have a podcast festival called Crosswise and we'd love you to come to it. You don't have to come and see us. You can do. We'd love that. We're on the second of July, Thursday evening, opening the whole festival in the glorious city of Sheffield at Sheffield City Hall. It's Bad Chat Live for the first time and, the tickets are very reasonably priced. Oh, I would say so. I'm looking at the website now. You can get a ticket for twenty five Quid. Oh my god for a night out. Come on. Gorgeous. I'm doing this. You can't get anything from Prefer twenty five quid with your twenty closest friends. What a lovely evening. So I've got to crosswise dot live for tickets, not just for our event, which is, as I said, opening the festival, but some of your favourite other podcasts are going to be there as well, Ellison John. Yes, screamrock lads. The blind boy podcast as well. Load. And you can if you want to come with your twenty Klosus friends, you can make a weekend of it by getting your tickets for your favorite shows, but then also we have a whole free fringe so you can come to that as well. It's like the Edinburgh Festival, but for podcasts. Yes. It's really fun . We take over all the venues in Sheffield and it's just a really good party, essentially, a pod party. And our show is going to have special guests, games, prizes chat Gunge. Gunge Yeah, not maybe not gunge. Meet Raffle. I'm just making promises I can't keep now. Not a bad idea . Bad chat live in Sheffield, second of July tickets at crosswise dot live. Please come and see us.b Goodye . Tell up the suit . And then they go like that bit. Tell us up the suit . So turn machines up . Stop, stop gatekeeping hazelnuts . I have a huge surprise for you No a great way to start a show with an apolog y . We have lost all our listeners. We've lost at least half of them because last episode I would say we were in the pocket of big mucus. We talked about disgusting mental image. We discussed Snot in quite a lot of detail . It's viscosity , how one removes it, and a lot of people found that basically stomach churning. Carrie has messaged to say congratulations, Greg and Alice. The bogy siphon chat made me physically wretch. What? And then you swallow it? I have never experienced such a visceral reaction to a podcast before. I think that's to be celebrated. I think that can go on the poster. We don't have post ers. Look , if you can't handle this , I've said it before. I say it again. Stop listening. But I bet you won't. But please do stop saying that. I mean, what do people want? Do they want to be molecodledd? Do they want to be wrapped in cotton wool and placed inside a shoebox and then put in the ground like a blue peter tortoise? I don't think you actually do that with them if you're thinking about hibernating a tortoise. They didn't put the blue peter tortoise in the time capsule . You've got that confused? I have I've blended the two. You bury the sort of number one single of the day . Right. The Guinness Book of Records from that year. I've known them some terrible art from some primary school kids and you bury that and then in thirty years they dig that up. Do not ever and I mean this, don't ever bury a live tortoise. I swear you put it in the ground or you put it in a box. They put it in a box. If it's dead, you'd put it, well they hide no, but they okay, you're confused again. Pound shop hana fries confused . You they hibernate, so you put them in a box in a shoebox. Yeah, but you were thinking , you don't bury the box. That's the only thing you've done wrong. Yeah, that doesn't feel wrong though, really. That feels like potatoes, potatoes. It might not feel wrong to you, but it is seen as wrong. And I think because they live for a hundred years, I thought you buried them for thirty . Well, and then they burrow their way up to the top again. No, I guess I thought you dug them out. I feel foolish now. Is it possible to cut this out? I'm afraid not. We're live. Clip it. Just to circle back on that point . Yeah , if you can't handle the realities of life. Let me guess what he's gonna say. Don't listen. Plenty of other podcasts for God's sake. And this is free for now . Do you know what's very telling already is that we've talked about burying tortoises alive? And I think that's because we're both hot and bothered. I mean, the nation is hot and bothered, but everyone is. And we're just not a nation of hot people in both senses of the word s true. It's true. It is true. Ask any other nation . It's we're just not geared up to it and we haven't needed to actually get good at it like you might do on the Continental . You know, you really lose your France, your Spain . You are geared up to it. We don't know how to carry all the stuff for a picnic. Geared up to it. Is this like a new thing you're trying at? Geared up. Have I said that twice now? Yeah, have I? He loves it. Somebody lear'nsed the phrase geared up this week Look, I've been geared up for the episode and but you have to you have to have practice at this sort of thing because we are terrible at taking plates out to a park and we're putting bringing all the stuff back and we're spilling stuff over here and we' dont know how to do a barbecue. Immediately we do a barbecue which makes you hotter. Yeah, and also it doesn't taste good and is raw. Right. And we don't close for a siestra at lunchtime. No. But the thing that I've noticed though when I just came into the office just now is that people have lost their minds with what is business attire. Myself included. If you're watching this , suddenly I feel like the stuff that I would usually wear to bed or to paint a room or even when you get in and you're like, Oh God, I know what you're like, whip the bra off, big t shirt on a little short shorts, let the wind in the willows and I've now decided that that's appropriate for work . Is that partly because we don't want to we don't want to spoil our best by getting them all sweaty? Yeah, I'm not wearing a suit again to work, no way . Although when we started doing this show, I felt that you and I were like, Little Silk shirt, little push polo. And now I'm like, What's that? Is that egg down it Three weeks, four weeks done. So this episode today is going to be lessons outside energy. Ah, yes, yes. Why did they do that as school ? The teachers wanted to get out of there. Was it cooler outside? If you found a tree , I guess, and a bench, but no one's concentrating. But I guess at that point, 'cause I feel like we only did it in primary school or early years , secondary school. You were mainly doing brass robbings anyway, weren't you? That was that was big on the agenda, so really better to be outside. Blazer Off was a big moment at school, wasn't it? We didn't wear a blazer. Okay, what was Blazer Off. We had a highly polyester V neck. You're allowed no tie in the summer. Okay. Big moment. And I see you're not wearing yours today. No blazers today. Real shame. For audio only listeners, no blazer. And I wear'ingm Manite And you're sleeping naked when it's hot. Never. Never even when it's thirty six. Never, always a wet suit . Just in case anybody enters the home . In case there aren't any assailants , I have a layer of neoprene between me and them. No, never naked. Big pant t shirt is the preference not that it's any of your business. Big pant t shirt. Yeah. Is that all in one? The big pant t shirt . And you sleep how in a big pant t shirt? In a big pant t shirt. Like a baby grow just drop into it . Pop is on the floor. , normally I sleep like Winnie the Pooh with just t shirt and everything else free, which is coming system. What is that? I like it I like that Perfect. No, I don't I don't get turned on by it . I like it. It feels I don't think don't clarify. It's fine. I've got everything I need. Do you sleep under a sheet at the moment? It's do they out and do they cover on ? Oh getting into the cover like a massive sleeping bag an balla rolling around We'll make it into a den and then when it's above thirty degrees it is naked. But I need to why are you holding your breath? Well because I think you know this about me that I can't sleep on my heart . Oh yeah, because your heart's too loud. Heart's too strong . So I have to sleep on this side because my heart keeps me awake. Your heartbeat keeps you awake. Yeah , it does . Yeah, you once said to me, My heart is so powerful . It keeps me awake. It does, yeah. And you are the people's prince and your heart is so powerful that it keeps us all awake. I've got the beating heart of the UK I've got to keep it going for everyone else. Am I right? And so I have to sleep on this side and I can't sleep on this side because it keeps me awake because it just goes bamba bamba baba Why is it such a dowsy rhythm? Yeah . I have a huge surprise for you. I'd like to bring a caller to the show . Okay . And you have no idea what's about to happen? I don't, which is not unusual . Do you know what episode is this? Four . No . Oh my god, I'm actually nervous on Starstruck ? Could it be? The real one. We made a promise at the start of the Hello . Hello there. Hi, who's that, please? This is Allison Greg. Is it Dr. Allison Gregg? Well , yes, yeah, it is. It's also Professor Allison Gregg. Oh my God, it's a better Oh my goodness me. Dr. Alison Gre g, this is the greatest honor of my life. Welcome to Bad Chat. Thank you very much. Can I ask do you have a podcast? Do I have a podcast? No, I have a podcast. Okay, so we could have gone Alice and Greg. We should have done. Yeah. Would you have been annoyed if we'd have called the podcast Alice and Greg? No, not really. No . For those who weren't listening to episode one, this is because we landed on the name Bad Chap because we thought Alison Greg sounded like a do ctor, an eminent professor and we have an eminent professor on the line right now. Alison, can you give us a little rundown of your career to date Wow, well, it's been quite a long career because I've just retired about six months ago. Congratulations . Thank you. And so I started off at Swansea University and I did my first degree there and I did my doctorate there and it had a wonderful time and I did my PhD out in the West Indies looking at hurricanes and landslides which was absolutely amazing fun and then ended up at Anglia Ruskin University and spent the last sort of fifteen years there. And I recently retired. That's Cambridge, isn't it? And Roskins? It is, yes, Cambridge and Chelmford. Yeah. So these, Alice, these are the sorts of people that should have a podcast. Oh, for sure. Immediately and in that twenty five seconds of chat there, she was more interesting than any podcast of listen to this year, including ours. That's good chat. Yeah, that is good. That's really good chat. It's good chat with Dr. Eisllon, Professor Eisllon, Greg . When you got a call from Badchat HQ , what did you think? Well, first of all, I had an email on Bank Holiday Monday . First of all, nobody sends emails to a work address on bank holiday Monday. So I thought, well, this must be a scam. Important. A scam, sure. And you are right . And then thought, well, it's a bit of a weird scam. Weren't they trying to scam me for ? My identity sort of looked again and thought, well , it's so weird. It's got to be investigated further, really. So that's why I replied. Do you know what? That's such that is such a professor Alice and Greg approach. It must be investigated further. Alice, I wonder if you would do us all the honor in asking some of the questions from the questionnaire to Professor Alison and Greg. Yes, of course. This is a legal obligation , professor, so do bear with us. This is being logged for training and quality purposes. Okay. This is data mining. Can I just check what your hairdresser's name is? Alison Greg . What? Oh , I was like, What other chances ? She only enlists the help of people with the exact name as her The heat has gone to my head. Of course it's you. Okay fine. How are you doing that then? Well , in a mirror, probably badly , but yeah, it's, I mean, it's just cut it, make it shorter. Are you gowning up? No. Do you ask yourself where you're going on holiday? Yes . And is it always shorter than you intend? No, I'm a bit of a wimp so I don't take too much off, but then I think, oh well, I can cut it again next time. Yeah, cut again tomorrow. You can break yourself into your own salon at any point. Are you free tomorrow Abson? Yeah, I'm free tomorrow. One time. ten thirty. Yeah, I'm a free ten thirty. Yeah. Do you want to have massage? No need I? Yes, please. Moving on to more important business. Favorite nut, please, professor? Hazelnut? Lovely one. Is that a question or a statement Yeah . Yeah, I think hazelnuts, they're nice and hard and crunchy. So they're good. They're famed for it. They are a hazelnut. Yeah, I love it. Premium though, you're gonna set you back a whole hazelnut. Illustrious career. Let her enjoy a hazelnut. Sorry or she's cutting her own hair . You saved on the hair, spend it on the nuts. You can pick them from the hedge rows though if you don't know where to go. Can you have you got hazelnut hedgers? Yeah, there's lots of them around. I also like, if you know where to go and then Allison's like, I've said too much. Yeah . Stop stop gatekeeping hazelnuts, professor. unless there's any squirrels listening that they get in first. And I imagine there are. Yeah, there's lots of crafty. Yeah. Cut your own hair, hazelnut holder. Can I ask you a question? Yes, you may. What position you put in are the pillows on your bed? Side by side when you're sleeping but then one on top of each other when you're reading When you say side by side is your head in between two train tracks for it Yeah you. st Aopreping your head rolling? Are they sort of like the barriers if you're not very good at bowling? Like a neck brace No , 'cause they're quite squidgy. So your head sort of goes down in the middle and stops them from rolling, I think. I think you're the first person to have ever done that. Which is a pioneer. One pillow for sleeping, two pillows for reading. You will forever be our favorite professor. Thank you very much. Thank you . You know what? We might have to catch up with you again at some point. If the listeners demand it, which I have a feeling they might , can we have permission to call you back at some point? Yeah, no problem at all . Can we talk about the incredible thing that our friend told us the other day? Our friend who's going through frankly the shittest divorce ever ? Yes, and you know sorry about that , but also funny. Yeah. Not that this thing coming up. So our friend co owns her house with her now ex fair to say acrimonious . And the other day she said , Do you know what I just keep d reaming about? I keep dreaming about egging my own house but only the half that he uses the most because he's still living in it. And what I loved about this is she's decided which window she'd go for because she likely works out of that one, Eggott. He likes to sit in the window here, Egg it. And she also said what she's thought about in this very detailed wish fulfillment is going with her, I presume, boxes of six to twelve eggs as they standardly come and a neighbor coming out and saying, Excuse me, what are you doing? I'm gonna call the police and then she turn around and go , It's my own house . It's a perfect crime. I really love it as an idea and as long as you are accurate with which half, as long as it is half, you go, here's the deeds . Read it and weep. I own half of this guy . The half covered in yolks? How do you know it's yours? Yeah. It just made me think when she said it . I do this all the time. I have these sort of fantasies about scenarios where I generally where I come out a hero, you know, or where I'm like braver than I am. So the one that I always think about because I have one of the worst voices spracket singing in the world , I often think about secretly having singing lessons . And then on my wedding day, brackets don't want to get married, but on like a big day , people being like, Oh , you know, we should do karaoke or like somebody should sing a song and everyone's like, Oh, you know, get Mark to do it, get Wendy to do it. And I'm like, I could try. And everyone's like, But you've got a terrible voice. And I'm like, No, it'll probably sound bad. And then I'm like, Ah , yeah Not that . But then everyone's like, Oh my God, like, wow, and in the room is somebody that works for record label and they're looking that far. And they're looking forty year old pops for forty two year old pop star. Yeah, or whatever age I am then. And they're like you are bed. So this is happening in two years in two years time. Yeah, so you okay? Because I need the lessons. Yeah. And then they're like, yeah, we're looking for forty two year old pop star , which is a weird thing obviously in a lot of itself. You're in the Overs category you know comfortably comfortably in the Overs Yeah . And basically I'm like, Oh I kind of have a job but like I guess I could go on tour and then basically then I'm fought stuff. It's really great because within two years you're trained you're singing, you're signed and you have an album. Yeah. Yeah. Are you also a songwriter that you've been learning? Probably write them. Yeah. I mean, I write quite a lot. So you're on the piano as well . Oh, well, I mean, what if you sing, you might as well do the piano? I guess so yeah. So I'm kind of like Vanessa Carlton type . Yes , because there hasn't been anyone since Vanessa Carlton that does that . Yes, I think I'm sort of like a thinking man's Vanessa Carlton . And I'd exclusively cover Vanessa Carlton. What's your favor ite Vanessa Carlton song apart from a thousand miles? I really like there's a remix of a thousand miles yeah . I think by TSD . I like the Freemasons one . Yeah . So yeah, I love that by the way. But I'd often think about the secret singing lessons. Like maybe I don't think about the Getting Sign, but the secret singing lessons are big, but they feature big in my life. So whether it's egging your own house or training to be the next big thing , I would say out of the two examples we've given one is much more difficult to achieve than the other . Where are you going to get all the eggs? Well I don't yeah But that's what a great that's a great fantasy, isn't it? I know for a fact people listening have these because the thing is the egg fantasy , I know our friend has thought about the egg fantasy a lot. It's grown and it's grown and it's grown. The same for my singing fantasy. And so I know people listening now will have them. So I'd just love to hear them because I think they're so great. It's similar to that quest ion which flew around online a couple years ago, which was do you think you could land a plane if you needed to ? Definitely not. Why don't everybody survive? No. Yeah, everyone survives. No. But I do think I could. And you would do your lovely pilot voice if you did as well. I've tried the pilot voice. Do your pilot voice? A lovely pilot voice? Alice makes me do the pilot voice sometimes just on the pilot. When we're in bed, I just love the pilot voice. Do your pilot voice. This is your Captain Speaking from the flight deck . Pretty good conditions up here. degrees when we get down on the ground in Nice this afternoon . This is Tim in the flight deck Abily assisted by Oliver . The cabin crew today are headed up by Sharon. They're there for your comfort, but primarily for your safet I love that. It's such a get out, isn't it? Yeah, they're like, yeah, they're there to they're, you know, they're waiting on you. Yeah, but really they're there in case we and also if you're not very comfortable, it's 'cause they're focusing right now on the safety. Yeah. I'd like to say a big warm welcome to our One World Travelers . I don't know why it's just like it's just like delicious maple syrup in my ear. So the One World Travelers get a little kick out of that. Oh, they love it. Yeah. Nice to welcome on board our One World Travelers. Star Alliance. They can't get a Star Alliance . Our Star Alliance partners will be on the ground to assist you . One world . Oh my god. Who identifies as a Star Alliance member ? Like first and foremost, I wonder if we've got any listening . Would you be brave enough to be honest with us? I would love to hear from you . I actually like of all the things that I think could be true, I do actually think you could probably land a plane. But all three of the things could happen egg , break , pilot . Maybe even just thinking about it, like he rise the plant or simpler . He can't believe that you are boy. I don't need to write something about it. But the times that he is winning the time that he . Ah, baby baby dude . I hated that . Loads. Loads. That was horrible. That's how they do it in a, you know, like music camps when they write for Beyonce. You know, they sing in tongues. They go like Hansa Mall a bang that kind of me and they just hear the tune. One of my least favorite things is when I see behind the scenes of pop stars and they are just doing that and they're vamping to the tune and they're not come at the side and I loved her so on a turn I went around the world with her terra shooter down and then they go I like that bit tares I bought a suit there so tie my shoes up . Time my shoes up. So that's that . Can I just stop you there? I know you weren't talking. Alice, they're breaking news, but yeah, we're just hearing Yeah, I thought so. , what's this? Calling all cars . Yeah. Yes. Roger, come in, over. Yeah, that thank you . What website is this and please get off it immediately. Freesound dot org My favorite website in the world. But it sounded so expensive. I want to talk about arrestable offences and I've just been informed that some new offences have been put into legislation. Okay, we were talking about this last week. Yeah Just pretend it's not there. Theatre of the mine. Yeah, ambiance. Yeah Slow, isn't it slow build . Immur apy. Yeah, ten point four nine seven he's just telling me that there's some new legislation for citizens' arrests. This is seamless. Thank you for putting that together. That must've taken hours. Roger. Yeah . Oh dear. Samuel says biting into an iced lolly . Yeah, of course. Arrest. What are you just opening it and biting it? My dad does that. Is it not hurting as well? Horrid. Also enjoy it. Yeah. Enjoy it. Slurp it. I don't feel great about the next one because Will says clapping off beat. I mean, I'd just be straight in prison forever. I don't even is it on the one and three or the two and four? I don't. If you can't clap in time at a gig, do not clap. But what am I doing just standing there like rigid? Because you've got to sway in time as well. Just don't do it. No, no, no, no, no, no . It's even that even that even that was out. That was all out. Similarly, at gigs, I've got one that's arrestable . If it's a quiet gig , sing a songwriter, soloist, Bonnevare or something. Vanessa Carlton. Vanessa the aforementioned BC do not sing along . Don't sing along. It's quiet. Oh no, do people do that? I went and saw Bonavire a few years ago. Show up. I like music and during skinny love , there was some guy next to me pissed going skinny love you to it. Don't know the words Mama Mama shut up. Shut up. That was actually lovely. Shut up, well, thank you, but shut up. Thank you. Not your show. Shut up though. Maybe you could be the pilot and I could be the singer. I love this one. Joe, I love you forever. Giving a baby's age in weeks . Why am I having to do simple maths to know how old your baby is. Horrid. What is okay, what's the cutoff then? Because it's anything under a year. I don't want weeks or months. I want year and a bit. I want like half a year. When someone says I'm twenty eight weeks and I'm seven point four million weeks or whatever the calcul ation is do we think that under twelve months is fine. You go, how would your baby go? Eight months. Do you know what I prefer? Do you know what I prefer? A bit like the weather forecast when it says like sixteen degrees. I don't know what that means . I want real feel. Okay. So I want real feel eleven. Okay, great. So now I know Cardigan. What I want with kids is reading, writing, I want talking, sleeping in the day. I want solid food. I want like real feel. Yeah. What does the kid really feel like? People haven't just been sending in their crimes worthy of a citizen's arrest . We also asked if anyone's ever done a citizen's arrest and somebody has. Okay, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. Basically , my there was a woman who lived on our street where I grew up called Tatiagi and that wasn't her real name, but that was what we called her. And for whatever reason, she used to get broken into and robbed like twice a week or something ridiculous. It was Liverpool in the eighties, so who knows, but basically they had tied her to a chair, she tied her and her dog to a chair and while they were in the house, she had escaped through the back door or something, hopped up the street, tied to the chair , knocked on our front door with her head or something , and we hoped that the door hurt the Aggie was tied to the chair . And my dad had to go like to her house. He called the police and then went to investigate and caught one of them and he like pushed him against this fence and kept him like pinned under citizens' arrest . It's happening. People are doing it in the eighties. In the eighties. But that's a great example. I mean, I was listening to that completely enraptured. Like I had such a boring sheltered upbringing. I would love for something like that to happen. It's incredible. People have got in touch not just about knowing people who have carried out citizens arrest. We've had an amazing message from somebody who was citizens arrested . Other POV, here we go. So I'm about it's not from Tati thirteen and I get invited drink cider in the park with like the cool kids from my school . And suddenly there's the sound of sirens and I don't know if anyone else reacted but I thought oh my god So I break into a run and the police car sort of comes around the corner . I'm getting away I think then out of nowhere a man steps in front of me and performs a citizen's arre st . Like just grabs hold of me and I'm just like terrified like struggling against this the grip of this man and then I look up and the police car just sort of glides past, going somewhere else, not interested in underage drinkers. And so I'm just sort of left in the middle of the street, this man holding onto me who then sort of gingerly releases his grip and we sort of nod and I carry on and rejoin the group who'd scattered to the park and then we all pretended to be drunk . That man has panicked . Can you imagine all those that under age drinking? So he's just grabbed a fourteen year old and is holding him. And the moment again the adrenaline's gone but quickly this time. He's like, I'm doing a great thing here because the police are going to that's my backup. He's going calling all cars, calling all cars, back up, back up, I've got him. I've got him. I've got him. And then suddenly in a split second he's kidnapped a fourteen year old. That's all you're doing, then. And the police arrest him for that. They loop, they loop that round and they go Peto, get him away. GBH on fourteen a year old in the bastic . Such such highs and lows throughout that. I'm imagining him loosening his grip really slowly and then doing that one where you like, you know, with a fist on the top of somebody's head, get out of it. Get out of there you 've made my absolute week so good . More please, more, give us more. More of everything, more of anything you want to talk to us about. All of the details are in the show notes. If you've got a stupid story or just something that made you laugh or confused with any example of you being corrupted by power , which I think is really good. And actually we're going to talk about jury service this week as well. Yes because I've always had a fascination with people who have done jury service and that is another great example of being corrupted by power where suddenly a little bit of power on the jewelry you, think you're in, you know, what's it called, twelve Angry men? Yeah, and suddenly you're locked in discussions and everyone's got their own character trait and they're like , I'm the cool one. I'm the cool one on the jury. And then when they come and tell you about it in the pub, well, they don't tell you about it. So you go . Go on, give us a little something. And they go I can't. The judge told us not to. Under Oh shut up. Yeah. Who cares? I don't want names, just tell us the give us the gist. Just to say it's a pretty important case. Give us the gist. Yeah, it's going to be a tricky one, but yeah. My friend did jury service recently and he told me yeah I was elected as foreman and his partner chirped in self elected . He was like yeah self elected yeah. Just to say they hated that guy. They hated the foreman. Had girl energy? He was it really is I would have elected myself deputy foreman , obviously just to have a foot in both camps. You know, I'm hanging out with the jury, but I'm reporting back to the foreman. You know, I'm mixing both. He was very proud of his influence on the jury and also his hand in the justice process . And then his partner jumped in again and said, Yeah, but you did let that guy off, didn't you for having all those drugs in his boot and said it was just personal use ? Like a drug? A drug haul and our foreman friend was like, yeah, that seems like you're just having a big night yet. I've always thought this about jury service. We shouldn't be doing it. That's for professionals. What do you want to be it? Professional juries . Made up of professional jurymen and women. I'm going to ask you to stop playing professional. Like you all do that professional. That's like I can't just go and be a judge . Thank God, so I shouldn't go and be able to be on the jury. Okay. I know, I don't know anything about that Yes. And suddenly you're an expert. Yes, yes, I yes guilty . That's not my job. So just I will just go in and be like go and do surgery service. Yes, well , it's actually the duty of all citizens to go and do a week as a surgeon. Scalpel, thank you. I'll take it from here . Suction? No , but how are we electing the jury? Well, electing them. It's a job. How are we hiring them? How do you hire a judge? Some are you going to train to beed somewhere So. you're a legal person? Yeah, we want legal people there. Okay. I want people to know the law. Okay, don't shout me. I'm not shouting . You're screaming. I want people to know the law to be judging whether I think fair f.air, that seems I just wanted to understand the process. Due process . I've got some friends who have been on a jewelry before and I would not want them to be judging anything . That's fair. Yeah. No, I'm thinking about everybody I know . I can't think of even three that I'd want on the jury. I put you on why? What are you up to? Smart busy body, know it all . Bossy, you know? Okay , what one would have been fine ? Well, I think you're over qualified, isn't it? I would be very diligent. I'd make everybody stay late. I'd be like, let's go over the notes again, please. Yeah. You'd be like a fun juror. You'd be like doing pranks, woppy cushions . And that's why I shouldn't be doing it. I shouldn't be doing jury service. You're like, let's have nicknames, let's do funny stuff in court. Exactly. Pass notes. Yeah. Let's like give everybody like you get points if like the judge looks at you 'cause you're doing a funny face. Exactly. I'd come in sort of in fancy dress as like Tony Soprano or something sitting there with a big cigar. Speaking of her boyhead girl, which obviously we talked about a few episodes ago, I had a very exciting moment this week. Oh yeah Yeah., I had my first ever bad chat IRL Hello a bad chat bad chat Bad chat bad chat No actually good chat Shout out to Nina who came to say hi at the swimming pool. Nina actually had something specific to talk about. She wanted to, I think, apologise because I was ragging on deputy head boys and girls. She said, I've taken it one step further. I was a co deputy head girl. I mean, that's just that's your student body, isn't it? As discussed, that's just you're just one, you're just one of the pop gem pop Co head girl, I think, is just about do it baul. I would never have taken the role if they said it was a co post. Well, you wouldn't you wouldn't have taken a Clegg to your camera? No way. I would not No. I would not be doing coalition, you're joking. You could govern a coalition. No, not with my policies . Yeah, but Clegg is only there for he's like just you're using a few of his seats. You're not really there's no power. Well, Nina didn't care . Nina took it. Nina took it for the title, didn't she? But just to say , do stop and chat. We're both in swimsuits. It's fine. Nothing's off the cards. Come say hi. Yeah, we don't mind we don't mind that at all . As long as you're not arresting us. Yes. Do not try and citizens arrest. Oh my god, that's gonna happen, isn''t it? Someones gonna try and someone should try to actually someone should citizens arrest you for sucking a baby's dummy. Oh don't bring that up again because people are already up in arms . Also I have a bad bag so if you are going to citizens arrest me, can you give me a chance to get on the floor up against a fence? Like I'll just do that, but no arm behind the back because it won't come back down again. Well actually we have had a smattering of passages some light rain. I think that I like that's got started with Listeners of Bad Chat is that people are signing off correspondence or leaving comments that are basically just their GCSE results. So we've got Christopher, nine A stars and an AMI GCSEs, I now work cutting grass with a council. I love it. Good for your brain, mindful. Another great comment here from Amber, it quite simply says Paddington can get fucked . One of your lot. You found your people? Yeah. We have found our people, I think here and I like that very much. Sam and Carrie have pointed out something pretty essential, which is that the episode title of last week it cut off on some devices which made it citizens arrests, mister Tiz and sucking D . Ah, that is unfortunate. That is not as advertised. None of those things are related. These are all important things to let us know. To be honest, they've sent a picture of their display. I think you've got an old display. Maybe it's a U problem. What's that carplay? Update your iOS and we'll see you next week Badchat is a person ica podcast