London's Burning and Childhood Fears

Some people would say it's arrogant. Other people would say it was innovative. But we put on sale tickets to our live show for bad chat before we even had a podcast. I just think it shows confidence. Yes. We have a podcast festival called Crosswise and we'd love you to come to it. Don't have to come and see us. You can do. If you feel like we'd love that, we're on the second of July, Thursday evening, opening the whole festival in the glorious city of Sheffield at Sheffield City Hall. It's Bad Chat Live for the first time. And the tickets are very reasonably priced. Oh, I would say so. I'm looking at the website now. You can get a ticket for twenty five quid. Oh my god, for a night out. Come on. Gorgeous You can't get anything from Prep for twenty five quid. With your twenty closest friends, what a lovely evening. So go to crosswise dot live for tickets, not just for our event, which is, as I said, opening the festival, but some of your favourite other podcasts are going to be there as well, Ellis and John. Yes, scream rock lads. The blind boy podcast as well. Load.s And you can, if you want to come with your Trentic us friends, you can make a weekend of it by getting your tickets for your favorite shows, but then also we have a whole free fringe so you can come to that as well. It's like the Edinburgh Festival, but for podcasts. Yes. It's really fun . We take over all the venues in Sheffield and it's just a really good party, essentially, a pod party. And our show is going to have special guests, games, prizes , chat. Gunge. Gunge Yep, not maybe not gunge. Meet Raffle. I'm just making promises I can't keep now not a bad idea . Bad chat live in Sheffield second of July tickets at crosswise dot live. Please come and see us. Goodb ye. I actually did this is Sam Marcing. I should have been inside of you. Please say it . It is a journey only , only attempted by the very, very toughest men. That is so horribly accurate. He's obviously not answering the door. We smash the windows in We went far off . Tell me if this is normal. I didn't think this actually happened in the wild. On my way here, I was stood at the traffic lights just in the zone, had my headphones in, and somebody taps me on the shoulder, I turn around and take my headphone out and the guy that's there says Sorry to bother you. Do you know the quickest way your heart ? Oh no, that is that disgusting ? Yes . Well, okay. I tend to yes and yes Anne. Yes and it is yeah. I tend to agree with you but oh boy I kind of thought boy Fattery does the trick No no I was like oh thank you but no thank you and he went , I'm thirty . What does I'm thirty mean? I'm virile . But anyway, I said and I'm ready to go . I was like, Do you know what? Points for being smooth because like, who goes up to anybody anymore? Chatuplines are cheesy, but like who actually goes up to anybody anymore out in the real world and says like hier. Is he fit ? I mean okay, no. Your headphones are in. Yeah . I think that that's essentially a do not disturb sign on a hotel door . It's I'm not interested. I'm not on receive. You're not interested in love . No. Sorry . I don't want to meet the love of my life because I'm listening to a podcast. I thought the received wisdom on that was don't do that. Obviously don't bother women. Like that's a really good rule of thumb. Don't bother women. It feels like he's bothering a woman. Have it? Are you a woman? Yes. Where are you bothered? I rested my case, Your Honor. I think I've actually never been asked out. I mean, like, dating apps are different. Virgin. Virgin Okay, what if I was and that's how it came out? Okay. Actually nothing wrong with being Patient being a Virgin, okay? It just said to the guy, do you know the way you're at? No sound virgin. No, I' do not. Im listening to my programs and I'm a virgin. Listen to radio three He's composer of the week. Fuck off his rat man I actually have asked somebody up in that kind of slightly cheesy way. I wrote a note to a boy. You wrote a note to a boy. Write a note to a boy . In the note, I said because he was sat in a cafe next to a girl and they were on their laptops and I was like, they could be together or they could be just work pals working next to each other. So I wrote in the note to the boy in the nice card. Who's that bitch sitting next to? Who's that? That's what it said. Love Alice. Who's at home? I get your coffee. No my number . Got his attention . Bitch question mark, coffee question mark. So the note said High Nice Boy in the Grey Cardigan. If that's not your wife or girlfriend, arrow . Arrow. So like when he opened it, an arrow to where she was. How do you know which way he was going to open it? If you were still sat in the same position, did you give him the note? Because I read left or right, what do you mean? How I did know? No, but you gave him the note. No, I gave the note to a waiter because I was too embarrassed to give him the note. How did you know that the woman might have switched places? Then it would have been confusing. Wow. An arrow. But also, I don't want his girlfriend or wife do I e wantither side of him ? Yeah , Feb no February Arrows everywhere. Got me there And then I said do you want to go for a drink? Arrows very funny by the way. Sorry. What I should say is I thought we'd been like eyeing each other maybe we hadn't been. I was eyeing him and I wrote my number on it . We went out of tears. To you yeah . Well that is good. What you can do about it? Why have you not done that? When did you last do that? It's imprinted . Just loads of different let it rain. But loads of different arrow directions . But QR codes now because it's modern times . And it goes straight to Bad Chat . I actually this is so embarrassing. I actually say this. Please say it. I went through a period . I was really young and you do stupid stuff when you're young. I went through a period . In my first job , oh God, this is so bad. This is very thirty nine year old virgin . In my first job , they gave us business cards because I'm one hundred and fifty years old. Yeah . And I just started putting them in people's pockets that I thought would fit on the tube. How They're like twenty one. Oh, so not like oh wow . So you were working in London. Yeah. Okay . Just a bit . And did it have a tagline? Just said business address, fax number, fax number . Just said like production assistant my name. But also you'd be like, where did this come from and chuck it in the bin? Did it ever work? No. There will be someone out there that got an anislavine. Do you think? Business card. Surely . Did you I still got the same number? If you got it, call that number. Can you imagine? Because twenty years ago that was your lucky day. Twenty years ago, I thought you were fit Let's see the ag ing process. Let's check it out. Let nature take its course. If I find one of those people, oh my god, please. But also if a man did that, how creepy is that? Into the gene pocket as well as well . Back to this guy at the traffic lights. Yeah . Your headphones are in. Yeah. He said, Do you know the way to my heart? Oh no, do you what is the way to your heart? What is the quickest way to your heart? Your response. Let's role play it. Okay Hello Hello ? Do you have you make him dorkier than he was? He was cool. Hey . Hey , hey . Sorry interrupted you there. It's not a vess. What are you listening to? Don't worry about that. I've got a question . Do you what is the quickest way to mine Itu, what is the quickest way for me to get to your heart? And I just went oh my god. I was really taken aback. The wind was blown out of myself. I was like, what do you say to that? Well done, that is very smooth. I was like , but I'm thirty . And then I just said , Oh, good luck with it. And he was like, Is it a no? And I said, Do keep doing it. I don't know why I said that. Do keep doing it. Keep it up. But maybe I saw a kindred spirit because of the business cards . Did you ask him? Have you got business cards? Just in case? He walked away, put his hand in his pocket and he was like, wait a minute . That was a yes after all . Game knows game . Do you know what I want to say? It is a long, treacherous road . Ice covers those tracks . You will get to a large castle made of crystals guarded by gargoyles . You will die en route Many, many men have died on the journey . It is a journey only attempted by the very, very toughest men . The strongest shall pass. Sometimes the strongest don't pass. No, they don't they are they are dead in ditches lining that path. And just as the great men, the great warriors are approaching the portcullis a park It is down and you are not allowed in. And then you're just sort of taken off by the guards and never heard from again. That is so horribly accurate . It's the Alice Lebane Castle and we're lucky if we get to play in it . Some of us are kept in separate bedrooms and the lucky few get to go into the main chamber stop it . You need to stop annoying people. Okay, let's establish some house rules with this podcast. Okay. Because I've been subject to incidents mere compass so do not come to this podcast come to this podcast for fun for lulls, okay? Rule one. Rule number one and kind of the only rule. Do not come to this podcast for political hot takes or serious debate about what we'll get into in a second, the judicial system Veterinarian advice, any of this? Look, come to this for like quick bits of conversation with Slagoff Paddington. Yeah, and then we'll move on. Yeah. And I won't think about Paddington until some comes to the street and goes. I didn't know when I don't like Paddington. I don't think about it that much. This is not like a kind of gourmet meal that you're going to luxury over for four hours. This is a piece of gum you're gonna spit out in the bin in an old tissue fan in your coat pocket. You know what I mean? Thank you. That's what we want. Disposable content. Disposable, it's trash, you know what I mean? But we change our opinions from day to day. I can be mid sentence and think, I don't believe this. Right.. There you go You'll say it anyway 'cause it's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Great content. Thirty six minutes we need. It was also a tricky week 'cause I accidentally became the poster boy for the entire Anti Stephen Bartlett movement. Movement. Yeah, you're the ringleader. But I don't want to be that's too stressful because then I've got to optimize myself to be that. I don't want any of that. I don't want any of it I didn't ask for any of this, although I did sort of ask for it because in the post that went way too viral. Too far. All I was doing was on a Sunday afternoon, there were five hours left for my book to be get for ninety nine p on Kindle. And I thought, Oh, I'll just do a quick video. Put my phone away, next minute, daily mail sidebar. Next minute and I'm born on the chart. Sound embarrassing. Well, that's the problem. As I turned into the wellness grifter, what I will say is I want to talk about jury service. Oh no, but this got of all the silly things like people getting silly about Paddington. People genuinely upset about this. People think you want a totalitarian regime. I don't want that. I'm always saying I just wish there was a totalitarian regime. Okay, to be clear, I didn't ever say that I wanted a totalitarian regime. And you call it a totaliar. I don't want a totaliar . I don't want a totaliar. Totally reg. All my point was and it wasn't well thought through. Okay, 'cause we were just chatting. You know what? We were riffing. You were deep in the riff. All I said was fast in the riff. The real the reason I said what I said which was I think we should have professional juries. I don't believe in democracy I didn't say but democracy. Yeah . What I said was and I'm doing the Prime Minister thumbs , I said people don't deserve a right to a fair trial and that should not be controversial. The point is, I don't think it's a fair trial if my mate don't do it again. You can't think of anything worse than doing jury service. I text him and he's like, Oh God this boring case I'm not even listening. My point was the people that I've spoken to and that I know that have been on the jury I don't want them on that. Yeah, get them out of there. They're not diligent enough. And there were people in the comments on that post before we took it down who were agreeing with me going, yeah, no , I'm with you. My mate Steve is a fucking idiot. I wouldn't want him judging that court case. Can we just talk for a minute about taking a clip down because everybody's so mad to you But those people are just boring. Oh my god, this is amazing. People died for the right to prevent the powerful deciding justice, starting with the Magna Carta. The right to have your case heard by people just like yourself is fundamental to the maintenance of human rights and dignity. Jury trial by your peers is a right to be cherished and defended to the death . Do it and see. How did it get to that bit of the internet? Why did it go there? What do you mean that bit of? I wrote that That's in an email to you please reply Do you know what ? Let's just do nothing No, no, if you're going to be like that. If you're gonna be like that. Don't talk. If you're gonna be like that, we'll just give you what you want. You can't have nice things. What do they want? What is it? What do people want then? From you. Yeah, what do people want? Cozy . Is that what I want? Yeah, well, we'll do that then. Cart me off to fucking magic and I've done with it . I'll play Tracy Chapman and tell you the weather you can fuck off . You're right now ? Yes. Calm down. Good. I'm fine. Amongst all of the vitriols there was actually quite a nice message about jury service that didn't take you down. Well, I like nice. I like wholesome, so let's remember that, okay? So I met my husband when we were put on the same jury . We started chatting because we were stuck on nine versus three and we decided to gang up and identify the juror who we thought was the weakest . Right. Don't love gang up . Exactly what I am talking about. Shove your Magna Carta. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Who's this? This is Claire. Okay, Claire, we've just calmed him down. I think she was I'm going to start it again because I think she said the word identified the weak ones . Let's go again. I did to gang up and identify the jerr who we thought was the weak est who we could get over to our side so it could be ten times and then we could all go home. Do you mean justice? Again, pretty much how we met. So we could all go home because these people are not invested in this. They're getting per DM's. They're getting their deal deals. They might be getting to travel. They might be getting the hotel. Yeah, and she's bonking in the hotel because she's met somebody on the jewelry. You might get a hotel, but that's the if you have to bribe people to come and do jury service. With a travel lodge, that is not a system I want to be part of. And then we were both back the next week and I decided that I wanted to give him my phone number so I passed my phone number on to one of the other jurors who then passed it on to him and the rest is history and we've been together for twenty years this August . Okay, I know you're mad about the jury bit but that is I mean I was doling out the business cards this is a much better bet there's twelve people on a jury but it's speed dating but it shouldn't be Oh why? Well because you've got to preside over a murder, potential murder. You can, wow, you've already decided. I'm glad you're not on my jury. I said potential murder murder potential murder . I think you can do both. I think you can make sure that the court of justice runs clear. And also meet a babe . So you okay , pervert the course of justice Mike knockover. Right. That's what you are. You're a pervert that was alter the course of justice pervert perverse of justice . If we're casting a jury, you know, selecting a jury correctly, there will be some perverts in there. I should be making out one of the twelve. They're not going one of every twelve pervert virgin . I'm both great tick in two boxes , these people , these people, I do not want those people deciding my fate. She's up there, you know, conspiring to weight the jury in favor of her love and trying to get trying to get with a mom entQuiz Boss so she can get off their bl oke? So you're doubling down. I'm doubling down. See you in the comments. Why should we chap somebody? I would love to. Levels one, two, R Hello, hello. Hello, old friend . Who's that? This is Sophie Hi, you're right . I've heard you've got a neighbour a neighbour situation . So I'm not part of my community WhatsApp group. I refuse to be, but my husband is very community focused. He likes to talk to everybody . But it doesn't stop people from physically coming and giving you the drama so we That's the problem . I'd like to archive really sometimes in life. Yeah, yeah . You can archive as many WhatsApp groups as you like, but it doesn't stop those people turning up at your doorstep is what you say. You want to freeze out? No . Yeah, it doesn't stop your neighbours knowing exactly how to get hold of you . So we had our opposite the road, lady neighbour come knock on our door one. Late neighbor. hood Yeah, just the lady neighbor , which to be fair, I'd never spoken to previously. Only my husband had because I'm an extra level of antisocial . So she was concerned about our next door neighbour. Kev, lovely man. Good chap. He keeps himself to Kev, as do we, lovely chap, but he lives on his own, so he looks after himself. He's all right. I'm not being funny, Sophie, but that's the exact description that you use when somebody is discovered to be a murderer. Keep himself to himself. Lovely guy seemed completely normal. So Kev Kev's a wrong. Yep. Yeah, he might be a wrong, but again, I don't ask him so I don't know . Kev, you're wrong , no. Okay . Never ask, Don't want to know. And you act like he's quiet, so it's alright. Well that's the other thing they say they always acquire maybe I do need to keep a better eye. Just saying yeah maybe yeah he's on the list No So but clearly the across the road neighbor is far more concerned about his whereabouts than any of us are. She knocked on the door and asked when we'd last spoken to Kevin, I said, I don't know. I haven't spoken to him. She'd not seen hide nor hair of him for over two weeks on her camera, which concerns me that she's keeping an eye on Kev via her driveway camera. We'd not spoken to him and she was worried not about just his welfare, but worried that Kev wasin dead when actually he's doing the killings . Well, exactly. He's very busy with his own activity. It's a tremendous cover. Well, it works, isn't it? He's on the run. Yeah. Yeah, are you dead, Kev? I'm not dead . I've said too much . I'm not. But just I'll leave it there. See you later. Dead, you warm, been done like that. Been day tomorrow. Bye bye No, she was worried about him. And we again didn't notice, but when some body says something like that, that they've not seen movement , you think, Oh , well , I hadn't thought that hard about it. No. And so obviously, it snowballs, doesn't it? And you then I can see why mass hysteria works because she'd put this idea in our head. Planted the seed . Well, exactly. And it grew and grew. The other neighbors got involved. There ends up being a group of us stood on Kev's lawn. He's obviously not answering the door. We smash the windows in. We went far off . Bricks straight through the old bay. We've gotta check it out . It would have been easier actually. We'd have found out much quicker, wouldn't we? Yeah, I'll wake him up . But so the problem is we were all worried XYZ, you're talking each other into it and out of it. But you're obeying mob at this point you're a baying mob, you're like, what do we do? You feel like I think maybe there's some there's a kind of I think, maybe too many people listening to True Crime podcast, you know, something has set the group on this path. It's like the do you remember when Ollie Murz thought that there was an attack in Selfridges. Oh my god, stop. Do you remember this? Yes. It's because you catastrophise stuff and you get you get hopped up on the emotional. I think there had been an incident previously or quite recently and he suddenly he heard something that he thought was gunshots in self rejuvenation. He tweeted it. He tweeted it immediately and got everyone to run so that you're I see how it happens. Did Ollie Merse turn up to Kev's house is what I'm saying. Is the next bit of the story? Ollie Murs turned up? He's cared facking dead already he's fucking dead in a troll . Not killed I would. That would have added to it even more actually. Maybe he would have himself broke the window and again answered the question really quick but the thing is there was fuel to the fire in the sense of a couple of years prior Kev's next door neighbour had a genuine genuine I know exactly but Kev's next door neighbour had passed away and none of us had unfortunately noticed nor knew and therefore obviously I think that was the fuel. The previous experience had been fueled to the flame, which we haven't told there now. And was it a house fire? Are you talking? Are you No . Are you an arsonist? I don't understand. What's literal, what's not? Who's Houseburg now ? Kev's neighbour. Kev lives almost opposite Sophie. Sophie doesn't want to be in the WhatsApp group. Her husband is chatting away to them like nobody's business. The rest of the street, I think also the parallel street, are joining in the mob that is trying to establish whether Kev is a murderer or murdered. Got you, thanks for clearing it up. Yeah, back to Kev to the point where we end up essentially breaking into his back garden because, you know, we didn't have the permission to be there. In the middle of the night, you know, with my husband's ladder in the middle of the night, it doesn't need to be in the middle of the night. It was quite late, you know, and it's in winter as well. So it's not hiding here famously. You've been watching way too much twenty four hours in police custody where it's always a dawn raid. You don't need to do a dawn raid for like a potential dead person. Time is the essence with that. Are you all kneeling down outside the ground floor loop so that you're not viewed by the window? And do you have one of those is it called a barge? A battering ram? Battering ram. Yeah. It's always embarrassing those programs where they don't quite I say programs. It's life that's fil med, but where they don't quite get it in the first go. Oh I know. They try it, isn't it? It's a massive, it's a police . Isn't it? They try and bang it and then suddenly the door . Oh, well just give that another go. Tiger. If you imagine multiple people doing that with a ladder and a torch. Again, if you think someone's died in a house, don't sneak in. Get in there and check. It was ridiculous, wasn't it? So we were in the garden. Did you do why are you being so coy? Bagger swag. Dressed like the hamburger ? Yes, exactly. Marc Yeah Valleys on. Yeah . Okay . You're not coming over great in this, Sophie, aren't you going? Oh no, I perfectly admit this was stupidity on all levels. I'm not proud of it. So we're in the garden . We're in the garden. We check all the windows and we can't see proof of holiday, which is, you know, the normal option, but we also have a holiday just so I know for the future. I'm thinking like everything's quite clean and tidy or there's like half packed clothes or like half packed clothes to gone. Like when you've gone to pack something and you know you've, reached weight l yourim it, so you've left it is you can't take that with you. Incredibly specific. There's overthinkers and then there's you. Proof of your holiday is excellent. I've never proof of holiday. I've checked for proof of holiday. Receipt for a sombrero? He was Yeah, they are. Excess sun cream didn't need to pack on the side. Right. Proof of holiday. Not gained. Not yet, not gained. Nor proof of dead kev. We did not see a dead body. And he thought, well, I'm out of ideas. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. It's been over two weeks since anyone has had no hair . Yeah. Hide no hair . So but this mass cyst area continues to the point where and we do now know, obviously the result we husband, we do, we do, we do. And I'll tell you. And he's here tonight. Kev, come on in I married him Just for the gag, you know? We the police we did a welfare check. My husband rang and went, look, you know, this is probably stupid , but you know, and they But they did a welfare check and he was on holiday and he was just lucky enough to be on holiday for quite a nice chunk of time. Where did they do the welfare check at home or on the resort? No, they ran his work and said he's come on holiday, in essence . And they're like, No he's sick. What do you mean? Is he on holiday? And he's been pulling a sticky and about it, he dobed him in. He told us he'd died . So this doesn't check out at all. , strange . And we believed him because his house was dirty. Hang on a second . Dude Right. Did you did you then chat to Ke f ' prescauseumably he came back from holiday and went, why are you calling my work? Well , why the police calling my work? Yeah, why is there footage on my camera of you in my garden? Oh my god, of course. The other question. Yeah. Yeah. She's got that of us looking stupid. Well, so you've never spoken to him ? Not really, no . She kind of be like, You know what I'm like Kev? He's like, No I don't. You're not even on the WhatsApp group . No, he took it graciously. He obviously thought we were all idiots. And this is the worst thing. I count myself as not stupid enough to get pulled into this. Clearly wrong . I clearly am. Pregnant people we all are clearly. Yeah. Do you know what I think needs the welfare check, Sophie? Actually, I won't finish it, but well this is it and I've concluded it and we cannot help you . I'm afraid . I cannot help you. I cannot condone hysteria. Yeah, I know shock in it. Sofie, Sophie, Sophie, that is that is the definition of bad chat, that was fantastic . I noticed some really good bad chat on our Instagram this week and you went you went bananas with it. I loved it so much. I know when Alice loves a thing because it gets reshed, reshed, story post, story posts, screen grab of the DMs. Crop that out, put that on the story, bang, comment dude, dude, dude. I'm like, Yes, she's buzzing. She is buzzing. Then six months, nothing. Yes, but that's fine. That's all right. Twelve minutes of activity and I'm like, I've done my bit. I guess you could summarize these as misheard stuff . Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Jenny got in touch and she had an amazing story. She said I once went to pick up my phone from being repaired and the man behind the counter said How are we? And I said, Yeah, good thanks. How are you? Only at the end of the day, when I lay in bed, did I realise he'd actually said Huawei ? I had to sell up, move and adopt a new identity. I understand that one because it takes a while because Huawei it'.s def Andinitely not how you say it. So it's confusing whatever way you look at it. Hawaei. And it's a tech company they do what do they even they do? Tele's and Chinese phones? Modems and stuff. Yeah, yeah. I get it, Jenny. Becky, I Be likcked y's one. She said, My friend took out her phone to read a text from her sister, and then said, My uncle Jackson died . And I replied with, Oh my God, I'm so sorry were you close? After a long pause, she looked at me with pure confusion and repeated, Michael Jackson died . I know that I know that they're just so silly, but I'm just, I love 'em. We have someone I want to speak to. Hi Catherine. We're in the office and I've heard you've got some important business. Can you give us your missheard please? Yes, I can. So I'm a teacher and one day I was with my class and a new teacher to the school, a male teacher came, walked over to my classroom door asked me a question , normal question And then after my answer, he looked down to what I can only describe as breast level and said , Oh , pierced That's the right reaction because that's the reaction I had. No . There are children nearby I'm being asked do I have a pierced nipple? Uplo I can really ? Yeah , I couldn't really compute this, so I just did the gasp and went, No . I love that you answered though. You were like, He deserves an answer. Yeah. It is my prerogative as a woman to let a man know s. Yeah, exactly. But I want to be polite now. I'm polite. I'm going to own this . Yeah So he looked very confused and walked away. Anyway, cut to about half an hour later I looked down and realized that on my lanyard with my ID badge on it, I have a pin badge or I used to, a pin badge in the shape of a piano and he'd actually asked pianist I'm getting hot, I'm getting hot for you on your behalf I'd actually forgotten this for years and then when I saw you were calling out for these it came immediately back and does it give you a hot face? Yeah , yeah the hot face part of it is essential because like none of these things like really matter because obviously he doesn't know that you thought he was a sex pest, but he did think I thought being asked if I was a pianist was the most horrendous . I mean woman to woman pierced ? She's already answered you no unless he gave you the idea and you've since had them done not No, I haven't in the meantime. He'd be the first to know I think there should be a general rule here, which is do not there. Do not look at lanyards. Don't look at well, don't look at I just don't it's women's lanyards are not for your eyes. We don't put lanyards on 'cause they look good for you . It's not for the male gaze. It's not for the male gaze, Greg. I know that's what I'm saying. Don't look at them. That is great. And actually on the subject of hot face, 'cause this is what we call it when you get that retro feeling of shame and embarrassment, even years on, you're saying, like it's still that potent. I don't think it has to be about this. I just think anything that brings color to your cheeks, even weeks, months, years on, I would love to hear Badchat Club on Instagram. Everything's in the old little notes thing on the podcast Catherine. Excellent. May I ask one question? So you are a pianist ? I was taking lessons for a couple of years. I have to say I'm no longer a pianist either . You do have to say you have a real issue with honesty, Catherine, you're like, I must tell you , I am no longer a pian ist. I have to get this off my chest, which aren't pissed. That is the end of today's conversation with Catherine. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you. Catherine, you're great . Thank you. Thank you. Oh, off she goes . It's a real art form that cut off, isn't it? Huge reaction to my girl. I mean, of course, how could you not? The classic early nineties film. I think I looked it up ninety I want to say ninety four. So it's post ninety one, I think actually, ninety one. I'm looking at M. I'm saying all of the days ninety dates in the nineties. So it was post home alone. First one. So he was in his pomp, Colkin. Colkin. At that point. Anyway, lots of people had the same first crush, either McCordy Colkin or Vader Vader Boba. Anna Chomsky. Yeah. A lot of people pointing out that she is in Veep is one of the funniest comedies ever made in my humble opinion . Lots of chat you and the My Girl My Guy thing. For God's sake. But just to be clear, Billy pointed out that Smokey Robinson wrote both of those songs and was a reaction to My Girl, so wrote My guy. Okay, so they are the same song. They're not the same song. No, don't get confident with it. They're two different songs. Mary Well sang my guide and the temptation temptation sang my girl but I was giving you I was giving you a little bit of leeway there. No charge. You've gone too far in that not enough evidence take it the leeway was there 've taken I've given you an inch there. Nice to be exonerated . Emma said in the comments this is a red flag if this is your favourite film. Why though? Well, I think because it is quite traumatic and it's probably not a good film for us to have watched when we were what five or six. Well, this is a common theme because Natalie said she tried to show it to her kid and then was like, oh I did not remember what this film was about. It's like a kind of holy trinity of traum if youat'icre a kid. Vader's mum has died . So she lives in an undertakers with her dad. Her stepmom does the makeup on the corpses, cool, so far so insane to show a kid. Her best friend dies of bees . She falls in love with her teacher who's thirty years older than her and he breaks her heart. I'm thirty. I'm thirty . Bader's going around with business cards Vader's got a game. Yeah, it's just not appropriate. It's not really appropriate to watch now. I actually think we should watch it together and see if it still has the same effect. I do think there could be a bad chat, watch along. Shall we? I would love to we could do our reaction live on social media potentially. She put a date in the diary and do a my girl watch along. I'd love that. Why don't we do it when we're on your holiday for your birthday? Yeah, we could. There'll be another twenty people there so that feels good to see so we can just go into another room. It's only an hour and a half probably. Nice. Thank you so much for coming, Greg and I can watch Mike. I'll see you . Everyone in the other room happy So you're singing my guy. I'm singing my girl or skipping off . Anyway, I think it is traumatic, but what we've remembered is the lovely it's a goal , it's like colorful , color wise, it's golden and it's and it's sunny and it's bright and it's happy and you think you remember the happiness of like, oh it's young love on your bike and like their first kisses and stuff. So you remember that nice stuff but actually it is quite dark There are some other things that I've been thinking about from my childhood that were actually traumatic and I don't like them now . Fantasia. Oh, but that's trippy and weird. Loved lots of it because the imagination of it and I really liked some of the , I love the songs . I hated it. I found it so scary. It is quite scary. I think if you watched it now, you go that is scary and the brooms dancing. Out of control. It's just too everybody calm down will go one at a time. One of mine, hook . The first film I saw in the cinema. Army too . Second handshake of the series . Paul Hollywood . So I may have mine thought that the Hollywood handshake, by the way, was him wanking off another man . Sorry, what? He thought she genuinely thought the Hollywood handshake was Code wanking someone off . You gave him the Hollywood handshake . How was the first day? Why did she think it kept happening on Bake Off? I know . Oh so every time somebody said Oh he got the Hollywood she thought pop outside of the Emma who works and she's died. She's literally just combusted. She turn'eds to dust like a tent around the back . Hey, goodbye. Pop inside for your honor handshake . Trousers down, well done . It was a fantastic sponge. Amazing Vvollante. Really, really good. Lovely icing . I call it a fantastic sponge. Great. So that's the second Hollywood handshake of the series, and I'm very much looking forward to receiving it again . Go on, hook , why? Okay, so something that runs through all of the ones that I find traumatic from childhood, I find it really hard to put into words. I think it's that there's a sort of existential dread where it'ss parent forgetting who their kids are, kids forgetting who their parents are, like, flight of the navigator. I don't know if you've ever seen that. He gets into the spaceship, gets off the spaceship, goes home. His whole family are twenty years older. What? His young brother is now a grown up. Worst case scenario ball. You wake up, you think that might happen? No, I don't like and hook how all the kids live on their own. Like can we have like on a school trip one adult for every three kids or something . Oh yeah, I was just a hand shake. That's what those noises are . Round the twist. I mean, we're getting deep into very specific territory here where people are exactly the same age as us. But I mean, I'm actually there's a lot of people out there. Forty year old losers. Forty year old losers, please see last episode. I see some of the twenty five year olds commenting on the spotify stuff? No. They were just like, No, no, no, I'm like twenty and I'm really enjoying it. I try to make us feel better. We know all ages listen. We're just saying there's a few forty year old losers. Also terrible to have twenty year olds being like, no, you're okay. It's actually great granddad. No, I'm really enjoying it. Stop it. Prefer Yarzi . I love Yarzi though. I know you do. Give it yourself. Round the twist, Australian , I guess comedy series where three kids live in a lighthouse for their dad, for their eccentric dad. In this series I feel like was it sort of supernatural? Weird stuff happened. The one I remember most clearly. Strange things happened. When you're going around the Twitter. Actually, can we play the music because the music is very distinct? Oh, it's quite wacky, isn't it? It's dead wacky. Maybe I've got my wacky from this Have you ever felt like this ? How strange things are going twists? Have you ever felt like this Heard the word about the bird and the spider and rigged biggle and jiggled inside Hey , you are afraid of those . Yeah. I wonder if this is where it started. Do you think well, that's a horrible image? Yeah, but you were okay singing that just then. I can say the word now, even though it feels like I'm not saying the word. Say it. Spider . But horrible things happened in it. Like one of the older boys, the older brother, he woke up and his mouth was a tiny hole. No, I don't want to see that. I don't w seeanna that. Then another one of them woke up and he was a merman, and he had to be pushed around in a wheelchair. I guess you run out of ideas because you sort of fed yourself into the lighthouse comedy. A comedy is it's so flee. What do you do? Well, the seas there, I don't know, crash in so much. Do you remember when they went into their garden and all of the cabbages has turned into babies? No, I don't remember the plots of these episodes. I don't think I was as into it as you were. I'm a mega fan, but it was just all slight ly terrifying, surreal , avant garde, just not for kids. All of these, not for kids. While you're watching Round the Twist, because I think I watched a couple of episodes and went nan for me. I was watching London's Burning and that firefighters . Big shot. Do you know how many people watch London's Burning back in the day? You used to get eighteen million people watching it on a Sunday. It was like huge . It was marquee television. You know, you can keep your severance guys. That was television. That was the gold standard . But at the end of every series there would be a big fire. Yeah, but and then it would be an excuse for the writers to get rid of the charac ters that weren't working. Cill them off. So they'd kill off half, sometimes they'd kill off half of the characters. In the flames? Well, no, no, not just in the flames. There was a horrific smoke that gets you. Sometimes there's smoke without that fire as they say. Check your smoke detectors. Check your breasts. We're not doing that again . Fierced . There was this horrible episode and I still think about it and I'm phobic of two things from this specific season finale. Oh God what? Will I get will I get scared? Gas works , okay? Big fire at the gas works. I think you're going to be fine . No , you know Calagas. Let me put your mind at rest. You're going to be fine. You know Calagas? But you don't run off caligas? Camping gas? Yeah, but you don't use that . You might have a in card shop where they're filling up the helium or those canisters. I hate to say I know it's your big dream but you don't run a card shop. Not yet . Yeah, it's a caligas big fire. Caligas. Okay, we'll just kind of what they did, the plot point of this episode was there was such a massive fight at the gas works at the helium balloon shop . Everyone was flying around like this but they had the canisters were igniting and firing off into the town. Into the town into the town and going missiles . Okay, well if you see to air missiles firing into the town, there will be people everywhere that live near regional high streets that are like, I live near Eclinton Gard. Again, it was a gas holders , but the same thing could happen when you go around the twist . And then so that happened and they got all the appliances to turn up. Okay, that's terrifying. And they had a crash on the waist. That's the industry name for a fire engine . So all the appliances turned up . Just got the ick, yeah. That's fine. I'm not here to not here to for you to all fall in love with . Anyway, we're on the way to the fire. There's a crash. We're on the way. I'm loving the way you're telling this, yeah. An iron girder goes through the windscreen of one of the fire engines . Not an RSJ, not a rolled steel joist. I'm Girda. Straight through , kill someone. So I'm now terrified of girders and gas. Thanks a lot, ITV. Well, I'd say thanks a lot Rosemary and Allen. Why were they letting you watch that? They love London's burning and London's running. They love watching fliers. So here's an here's another thing we can watch at your birthday. Episode of London's Burning, where the gas flies everywhere followed by my girl and that is a night. thirty five degrees everyone's by the pool me and you curtains closed Paul Hollywood handshake, et cetera. no further questions, Your Honor Bad Chat is a person ica podcast