Star Alliance Frequent Flyer Status

Some people would say it's arrogant. Other people would say it was innovative . But we put on sale tickets to our live show for Bad Chat before we even had a podcast. I just think it shows confidence. Yes. We have a podcast festival called Crosswise and we'd love you to come to it. You don't have to come and see us. You can do. We'd love that. We're on the second of July, Thursday evening opening the whole festival in the glorious city of Sheffield at Sheffield City Hall. It's Bad Chat Live for the first time and the tickets are very reasonably priced. Oh, I would say so. I'm looking at the website now. You can get a ticket for twenty five Quid. Oh my god for a night out. Come on. Gorgeous. I'm doing this. You can't get anything from Prefer for twenty five quid with your twenty closest friends. What a lovely evening. So I've got to crosswise dot live for tickets, not just for our event, which is, as I said, opening the festival, but some of your favourite other podcasts are going to be there as well, Ellison John. Yes, scream rock lads. The blind boy podcast as well. Load. And you can if you want to come with your twenty Klosus friends, you can make a weekend of it by getting your tickets for your favorite shows, but then also we have a whole free fringe so you can come to that as well. It's like the Edinburgh Festival, but for podcasts. Yes. It's really fun . We take over all the venues in Sheffield and it's just a really good party, essentially, a pod party. And our show is going to have special guests, games, prizes chat Gunge. Gunge Yeah, not maybe not gunge. Meet Raffle. I'm just making promises I can't keep now. Not a bad idea . Bad chat live in Sheffield second of July tickets at crosswise dot live. Please come and see us.b Goodye. Who started this? Who are you? Who are you? Show yourselves . He stops. He looks at me and goes, I've told you before On the box, it's not like picture of Dildo. What do you think it's got a picture of? Somebody in pleasure like this Alice, cheers. Cheers my love. Just the one though, please. Of course. May we all yeah , the finest grape. Of course, because Stephen Bartlett Yes says only one and we always do what Steven Bartlett says. In fact, you , you have kicked the hornet's nest. You've gone viral this week with your chat about old Stevie Boy. I'm just very an ti optimisation. Okay. I just don't and I really sort of love this clip. There are certain days on the internet where there's just gold to be had. You don't even need a pan for it . And this is just such a juicy nugget. It's one of those areas where you don't understand the hidden cost until you really give it up for a while . And I think about my own relationship with drinking. Tell me, I stopped drinking at thirty years old. I'm thirty three. And I had just drank because I just drank. I'd never ran the experiment of just giving it up for a while. And then like, I don't know, maybe I was at thirty one. I thought you not have a drink again because now I could really AB test it. I had AB testing of your own life. This is where I draw the line . Fair enough, stop drinking if it's not agreeing with you, but AB testing, that is, what is AB testing for? So is he saying he AB tested being a non drinker and being a drinker? You didn't. That is not lab conditions. You didn't. No institution would back this study a study of one person. Okay guys, we need to increase the dataset from you. So not everything has to be an algorithm. No. And you're like, don't don't go through your life thinking that you have to serve the algorithm every day as you're walking down the street, and had a year of not drinking, decided to have a drink again. Three days of my life. I had a couple of glasses. I'm party to being a drama queen , but that ruin ed losses of wine. Didn't get drunk. It ruined three days of my life because of the domino effect it caused it meant that I got worse sleep that night and then because I got worse sleep that night I ate more poorly the next day . Because my dog How do you eat more poorly than chilled sick, which is huel? More dusty sick. That's the worst . So AB testing, we're sleeping badly. We're eating badly. And then because I got worse sleep that night, I ate more poorly the next day because my dopamine system or whatever, the cortisol system was all whatever. Dopamine system don't get blinded by the science. Don't get caught up in that. But if you are AB testing, like take that bit seriously. The David System or the Court is old one of the worst I've ever The Buffins will work it out and then I podcasted worse that is sensational . I actually would like to thank him for that. I podcasted worse I podcasted worse. Are we saying that 's a verb now? It is. In French you would ju podcast, two podcasts. Yep . El podcast, but like new podcast v podcast eh ? I think it might be reflexive. I think it might be I podcasted myself. Stupid, I podcasted myself silly at the thought of it . Le Weekend Proshan, Zhang Zu podcast, Avek Mezami . Emikot is all over me or whatever. Yeah. Listen. Me Dubamino or whatever . Buff. Buff I didn't go to the gym the day after. Oh no that day or the day after because of that. You ever absolute rotter. And I was like, oh my god, those three glasses of wine had this hidden domino effect that I must have been living with for my home . Sorry, sorry to say it. AB AB tested, etc. Hashtag AB tested, but it's not a hidden effect, is it? Nobody's like, alcohol did what? Give you a bad night's sleep. Maybe a bit drunk, made made it you hungry. What? We were really laughing about this on the phone because we had a little chat about, you know, just fun stuff as we do. And we were sort of going there's like the John Ronson version of this because his famous thing is the butterfly effect. And he says the Domino effect. Domino effect, but he means that the Johnson butterfly effect. And he's being so dramatic. Like I feel like to say it had a domino effect, it had an effect. Domino effect suggests that it had an effect beyond you, like I spoke to a top tech entrepreneur and guru called Steve from Plymouth , and he'd had the worst day of his life , one full glass of wine and his world came tumbling down . Either way, what a great John Wonson impression. I feel bad. I love John Watson. Close personal friend of yours? Personal friend? Would he call me a close personal friend? I'd call him one. Fit like me and you That was a bad drama once an impression, but I mean so no optimisation on this podcast . life A of balance, okay? We don't need to turn your smart watches off. Do not check your heart rate for the next forty minutes. Someone else who's podcasted badly? What was a good week for it? Maybe Zuckerberg's had a couple of wines because I really enjoyed this . So my security team kind of convinced me for like ten years that I should just let them drive me places, which I mean, realistically I probably, should . But then eventually I was just like, I can't I can't do this. It's like I need like the freedom. I need to build a drive myself. So is this a U turn? This feels like him being the most human I've ever heard the most sort of self aware. It's like, yeah, okay, you want to touch grass. You want to feel like you're a normal human being for a second. I don't want to be in the kind of Zuckerberg cottonwool bubble . For the first time I thought, I'm going to relate to this guy . Yeah . I started learning how to fly helicopters . And then I was like, all right, well this is just ridiculous. It's like we have the security team driving me to my helicopter that I then go fly away . Okay, so he's realized again. So like first time he let us down, but now he's realized again that's ridiculous to have the helicopter, have the security team, drive him to the helicopter. So now is he gonna walk places? Now is he just going to go on his own? So did he want just a bit of time away from the security detail infamously the quickest mode of transport? Yeah , but most of the time it's probably them driving him to the helipad . And then do they have to do they have to then drive behind the helicopter to get to the other helipad? Drive behind a helicopter. But so he will just be waiting on the tarmac. So he's not saving any time. So they're driving him to the helicopter. He's flying to follow flying from one side of California to the other. Okay, they have to drive. It takes eleven hours. So then he lands. So he's waiting for the pickup. So he's just sat like when your mum and dad forgot to pick you up from school brackets every day by the way. And just waiting . But he gets the freedom though for those eleven hours. Well, he's flown for probably six minutes. Yeah, yeah. So six minute journey eleven hour wait. LA traffic is terrible . Sure. So all these guys are just ferrying him around, but he's waiting there. But he's feeling more human. I guess whatever whatever Mark needs, you know? There's so much bad chat. Can we give out some badges? Bad chat badges? Bad chat badges. Badge, chat, badgers. Steve Barley gets one, Mark Zuckerberg gets one. Welcome to the club. Welcome to the Bad Chat Club. If you spot any bad chat on any podcast, then do let us know. And I think that person should get a bad chat badge. If you send in bad chat to get a bad chat badge, then you yourself are awarded a badge. We need to make some badges therefore, but they so get a badge and do the people who are doing the badge also get a badge. Exactly. I think the content is awarded the badge, the kind of the I guess the, you know, when you get the DOP , you know, from when you get like Parmesan or champagne, and it's got that thing on that it's like only this region can produce this. Right. It gets that saying this is like genuine badge chat and then the person that supplied it gets a pin badge. That's nice. Yeah, nice. And so the badge gets dropped off at the helipad. Yeah, and then you drive to the other headipad. Meanwhile, that badge is flown to the other helipad and there's waiting for waiting for the detail. Lovely. Lovely sir. Simple as that, isn't it? I know that we can't have a post show tradition because we've only done four shows . But we did something last episode which I think we should repeat. We went to go for an outdoor swim as we love to do and every time we do it, Rain or Shine, you say it's like we're on holiday even though there's a lot of const ruction work going on. You know what? That is actually that's my anti optimization message. Try and live your life as if you're on holiday the whole time. Yeah. And that swim it we don't do the distance. No. We don't do the time. No. We're not optimizing our swim. We're just having a swim in a neta. We're doing some very inefficient breast stroke, which I'm sure you've heard before . Sadly I have and they're like, not like that. Oh well how then ? And you don're doing the frog legs. Someone at University tangent side note was given the nickname The Boob slubberer once. Stop. I decided to throw that in there . Oh , that's that terrible? I think about it all the time . How many boobs did he slobber? A boob too many. One was too many by the sounds of it . Oh my god, that's devastating. Boobs slobber . That's like bad, isn't it? I got a nickname. What was it? So, in a househead girl, I was also on, I can't even remember what committee I was on in sixth form , but I was always like shuffling about doing jobs and I had a big handful of envelopes because I was doing some kind of task and I for the teachers. For the No, yeah, for the teachers . And were you helping out a parents evening? Were you doing ? I could so see you doing parents even because the teachers couldn't be bothered. Get in my own trestle table and chair. Yeah. Yeah, actually Mrs. Jenkins is busy, but Alice Levine is going to be I'll just say David's had a this has been a tough turn for him. Okay I think there's some concentration issues, but he's really got potential. He has been copying my homework quite a bit . But anyway, I was carrying on my envelopes in the library. A haven for me, as you can imagine. Home and I dropped them all on the floor and it was the era of very low rise jeans and apparently I bent down to pick them up and my jeans just like showed the top of my bum and I was known as envelope bum . Oh not by the whole of sixth form because there are about two thousand people that buy all the stuff . Hey, envelope bomb. Where were you? Envelope bomb. We went for a swim. Yes, that's where we were. Breast stroke, boobs slabber. Exactly. Envelope bomb and we're back . And I don't know if you'll agree with this sort of idea of who you are . But because you look like a Disney Prince, because you're the people's princess, because you are an angel sent from heaven , I think that you have a small air of the renegade . Like you feel like you want to break the rules and I don't know if that's because you can get away with it or because I don't because maybe you have to be a good guy on the radio or like seem like I don't know what it is, but you have a little bit of anarchist in you. And we went for a swim. Explain I mean , I don't know if you know what I'm going to say. I don't know. So swimming round and in this big lake place that we go to , you can pretty much do anything apart from not anything. We can pretty much do anything apart from they don't want you to float on your back. Oh yeah . Because it's the international sign of distress. I don't think that's true. I didn't know that. It's not, is it? We haven't decided. So if you're in distress, you don't decide how to show distress, you're just in distress. And I think you just fall below the water's surface. Like one second , I'm in distress. Flip round. Also the most scary position to be in if you're on the stroke., I can't see where you're going You know, I famously can't swim. I'm not gonna be able to float on my back. If you are in trouble in the water, backstroke What? Don't float your arms, sorry, won't come and save you back. Get on your back. So you bobbed on your back. I don't know, I am such rule abiding stress head. So I said to you, I didn't you really not a stress head, but you are a rule abider. I was like, Did'nt you really don't want to be a nark, but don't you really allowed to float on your back? Didn't know that. And you were just like gay abandoned. You were just like bobbing on your back, like nothing mattered in the world, more hens bobbing around you, like no care in the world ? Then my blood runs cold because a guy in a kayak comes over and was like, excuse me, you're not allowed to flirt on your back. And I wanted to immediately be like, I'm not really with him. Like we're here together, but I know the rules and he doesn't know the rules. So it was fine. You were told , but then when you were told off, you were like, I think he can float on your back. That's what he said. I think you can float on your back. He's just told you you can't float on your back. Yeah. And so there's something in you that's I really want you now. Okay. That's true actually. But I didn't know about that rule. I'd forgotten about that rule. And I was just we were having a good gossip. You should have read the handbook, but yes. So I go back on Saturday. Different friend. Yeah We swim around . He starts floating on his back and I go, Don't float on your back. You can't float on your back. And he went, I don't think it really matters. I'm like, it's the international sign of distress. We've established this. Don't float on your back Overcomes the guy in a canoe and he goes sorry, sorry to be that guy but like can you not he stops? He looks at me and he goes, I've told you before. And I was like to be clear , I have been with two men who have broken the rules. I me as the woman. I've got to make sure that my men are abiding by the rules. Guess what? They don't listen to me . Men don't listen to women, I'm sorry. Men don't listen to women. I don't like stupid rules, you're right. I really don't like stupid rules. But what is that in you? I just don't it's just it's just so what ? Just it's petty. But what's happened to you since you were a deputy head boy? What's happening? I didn't get that, did I? Because I tried to sell a story that they were selling the playing fields for housing and that's why I never got it. Pause . Sorry What? What? I told the Heart Snessex Observer. Oh my god, this is incredible a rumour that I'd heard that they were going to sell the playing fields off for housing development. Her headmaster got wind it of called, me into his office and I was like, Well, you're not going to be head boy then . He said Snitchers get stitches Sorry, that's why you were downgraded from head boy. I was sorry that it broke like fucking Snowden. Sorry that I work for Panorama. Also, I love a rumour I heard. Where did you hear the rumour? I can't remember. I don't remember. This show wouldn't be what it is without the four people that listen to it . And so I think we should hear from another one and build out our database of information about our lovely, lovely community. Fantastic. Let's call Jenny. Jenny speaking . So you've been a bad chatter for a few weeks, and have you, Jenny? Oh, since the beginning, since episode one month ago back to episode one way back basically three weeks ago. Wow. Exactly. Yeah, I know I know. You're an ultra. I am. I've got clogs and everything. Oh, well, clog size. What would it be? Well, since I'm in Canada, I'm going to have to give it to you in the old American size. I'm a size seven . And that's a regular trainer. I'm not sure what that would be like in a clog. Size up in a clog . So I'm just going to look at Canada. Yeah. I think it's one size bigger than UK. You're really messing with us here, Jenny, we do like it in European. So Canadian size. Sorry on a size five in England. Is that the same? No, it says here Canadian size seven is approximately a UK size five and a half for women , six for men . They're fine. We're sizing you up to a six point . So you'll be a sir so you'll be a eight point five Canadian. Yeah, dog. eight point five Canadian clog . Does that sound about right to you there, Jenny, my love ? Sounds very right. Yeah, all right, we'll send you home with those do you want your old shoes in a box? Do you want to wear the clogs out? Can we ask you some questions, Jenny, basically, as you may know, because you're an ultra , we get people on every week because we need to understand the demo of our listeners. We need to get into the psyche and essentially fill in this dossier and just get down to the br ass tacks of the data. Okay, I'm ready. We'll start easy. Have you ever been stung by a bee? Yes, of course, who hasn't. I actually haven't. Never been stung by bee. Nora was p . He's such a nice guy, Jenny that he knows they die when they sting you, so he won't let that. That's true. Well, I was apparently quite a stupid child because when I was five, I put my hand into a bee nest . was That in my grandma's lavender. So that's what happened there. Do you know why I've managed to avoid being stung? No, tell me. It's because my favorite film as a kid was My Girl. My girl . That was my girl. I love my girl. So there's many reasons we're friends My girl for those that aren't five thousand years old is I mean the loose plot is that there's a kid McCourney Colkin, little glasses on little nerds. Little Harry Potter glasses. A young girl called Vader and they become friends, they go and play in the woods or whatever else. He's allergic to everything . Yeah He hits a beehive . Did I do that? Like throw stones at it, I think. Yeah, he's asking for it. Yeah. Get stungbladed bees , dies. Eeek. And then that's the film. My girl, don't know why. It's a weird plot isn't I think it's 'cause they play da d and my girl. No, that's my guy . That's not . You think my Dum Birder? They do play that . And I think I dad sings My girl to her and that's why it's called My Girl . No, but you're thinking of the song My Guy, which is a different song to my girl. What's my girl? My girl. Yeah, that's what I'm singing. That's two different songs though. What do you mean? It's my guy. That's from Sister Act. . D ah d ah d ah my girl., I I can can''tt get get there there. My girl, my girl, guy, girl . My guy. I know, I know it doesn't make sense, but I can't hear her. Are you joking with me? Are you joking with me? I actually can't hear what you're doingre. A you doing a bit or you're serious? You're making me cry. I actually can't hear the difference . Sing the same tunes sing the title song from My Girl That's my guy again . Are you doing a joke on me other this time ? I know you're singing different words, but is it this basically the same choice? Because the other my girl is, is it the temptations? Bum bum , bum . Oh God sunshine . On a cloudy dude. So I know that song. And they go You say I can't. What can make me feel this way ? My girl , my girl. And that's in the film . The film My Girl And is nothing else to do . It's from Sister Act, I think. But is that also in the film? Why would it be in the film? It wasn't film sister, so Whoopi, Goldberg and all the nuns are singing My guy for God. They're like, My God My God, my , stop. We have to we have Oh Are you sure you weren't doing a bit then? I can hear it now . Let's get back to Jenny, who's been patiently waiting. Sorry, Jenny. Jenny. Jenny, I'm so sorry. I just love it. So you don't even know you could be anaphylactive one has a idea. Oh my god that was sad. Of course, and my first love was Anna Chomsky. Of course, she's a baby. No. No, she was a baby and that. Oh, Anna Chomsky. Yeah, babe. Vader, Vader . I remember being so he was so sad to my core that I would A never get a chance with Vader. Not too late. And two I just would hate to die from bees. Die from you died of bees. Right, where else? I just need to know when your bin day is, please. I live on a farm in Alberta, so we don't have a bin man. I have to drive my rubbish into town. Just bury it. I have to drive my rubbish into the nearest river . And so I waste an old car every time. Hey, what day is your bind day? My bind day is. You've been asking this question for people Wednesday. Mine too . So Tuesday night's a bit to know hi. Hi adrenaline . Do you get I get excited for what I call big bind day ? Is that both of them ? It's all of them Yes All of them . Greg's got a lot of bins though. You do have a lot of bins. You've got regular refuse, you've got recycling . Gold bullying that you're getting rid of. Old gold bullying. Dirty gold bullion. Yeah, yeah. You've got a garden waste? A garden waste. A food caddy? Oh my gosh, so many. And it is a caddy please . Can you for the I will not say this again. I say this every day. Can you stop showing off about your caddy? Jenny that was a real insight into who's listening You're quite Mad. Thank you very much for your help . Thank you and Alice, if I may add , I was also a head girl of a school in Middlesex . So that's your demographic is losers, force year old losers. We'll cut that out Okay, sounds good Last episode we were talking about sort of fantasies, wish fulfillment, things that you just drift off and imagine happening and maybe you build on them week after week month after month. Mime was of course about secretly becoming good at singing. I think we've put paid to that . Mine was genuinely that I would be able to get married to Vader from my girl. Yeah, which is still thing about now. Or Clarissa explains it all. Oh my god, come on. Melissa Joan Hart. Worth remembering, though, not safe to just have an open window with a ladder up to it. Okay. Hey, Sam , bring around . If anybody's not our exact age to the month, they're gonna be like, what are you on about? We already know it's four year old losers. Yeah, it's done, done. So I sort of worried that I was the only one doing this, really. It turns out everybody's mad. Oh yeah, it's really great. Absolutely. There's a lot of people who share my dream of being secretly good at singing. That seems to be quite a big part of the genre. Nilf has been on. When I was young, I used to sing out of my bedroom window in case Simon Cowell drove by . What does that even mean ? Everything would really have to align for that to be a kind of way of getting star spotted. You're singing out of your window as a kid . Simon Cowell is driving by through your neighbourhood. Slowly, slowly enough. Really slowly. Win all the windows down. Yeah. Radio off. Yeah, just like this out the window . But also enough to know where it's come from. Then I guess Ding Dong, hi, sorry, do you have a small child? Yeah . The car screeches to a halt, reverses back . Hang on a second . Hang on a second . Nothing you can do . Will you sing the theme tune from Sister Axe ? No, I was singing the theme from Mike. Oh, sorry, bye . Wrong house. Also I'm five . Lily says my secret fantasy is that I am without anyone knowing Fluent in a bunch of languages and I'm too humble and shy to show anyone . But one day I'm with friends and there's a lost child. Maybe she's been abducted by Simon Kell. And we go over to help. Turns out the child isn't from the UK. So I start talking to her in her language, sometimes German, sometimes Danish. Danish . And all of my friends are so impressed and stunned that I've basically saved a life by being a polyglot. Yes, and that I've been too humble to ever share it. The fantasy continues. I love that she keeps saying how humble she is . Lily says I'm then sitting on the Graham Norton sofa. Okay after I've become famous as an actress separate fantasy. So Graham's like, So, Lily you speak several languages and I get all Shy and Koy and Hugh Grant, Meryl Streep and Kevin Hart. I'm so specific. Always Kevin Hart at the end . And they're all really impressed that someone can be so talented and beautiful to have time to be fluent in fifteen languages. It's gone up to fifteen 'cause a while ago it wasn't so many. Anyway, Lily signs it off with, so that's me, Lily, and I only speak English . Lily is our kind of listener. These are so, so good. What I realized is when we first started talking about it, I'd done one that was sort of like a kind of show off hero fantasy, which seems to be what everybody's leapt on. But obviously we did the one about our friend who wanted to egg her house that she co owns with her ex husband. So we also got one vengeance fantasy. So there are two camps, but the vengeance, we need to hear from you, basically you're a. v Ifengeance fantasy person , we need to hear from you. Avery very much a kindred spirit of this. So Avery says I dream about putting nails under my neighbour's loud car. I'd do it for weeks on end and they would have to keep buying new tyres. The neighborhood's really grateful but don't know it's me. I get caught by a neighbour, but they don't rat me out. They just turn the other way. Yeah, lovely. It's really nice. So it's clearly so vivid . So I'd like vengeance ones as well . All welcome . All madnesses please. The ways to get in touch are in what we call in the business the show notes . Last week you had an incredible surprise for me , which was a chat with Dr. Allison, professor, Allison Greg. As promised because you deliver. Now, I have something that you asked for and I think you're going to be fairly delighted with it. Hello caller, who is that? This is Lauren. Now, Lauren, what do you identify as please? My official title is a Star Alliance Gold Wanker? You're a member of the Gold Alliance I am indeed yes. Wow . Okay , this is exciting. Gold Star Alliance. We talked about the top tier frequent flyers last week. And I'm flustered Laura. Well, welcome. We should stand for royalty. I mean, incredible. We can't cut to the wires, but we would. Yeah, if we could stand we all would. If you are able to stand as a podcast listener, please stand Inherited status, Lauren No, no, earned it myself. I've got so many questions. My first question, Lauren , do you think you're better than us ? No, no, I don't, no, don't worry. Well, the correct answer is you should do because you are . Don't be so modest . How do you how did you get it and when did you get it? So I live in Arizona in the US, but obviously I'm not from Arizona. How many international show today? Yeah, absolutely amazing. So I fly home a lot, which is really nice. You would probably think I probably have some exciting job that takes me all over the place, but it really doesn't. It's because I fly back to the UK quite a lot and I think I got it about three years ago and I've just been maintaining it since. And what's the change in your tape? Lifestyle or experience of the world since I've seen a lot of airport lounges with a lot of cuberies. Yeah, but you get great access . You get great access to those lounges as well, don't you? You just you can just waltz in there like it like you own the place because in a way you do. Yep. I wondered because we were talking last week about the announcement which acknowledges you and your people . How do you feel? Are you proud when that bit happens ? There is something quite nice about waltzing on the plane first, especially if you've got a fight for overhead bin space . So yeah, when you get to go first it's like okay fine. And do you put this on your CV? How do people know about it or do you wear it very lightly? Oh, I really should. They do send you a little bag tag so you can proudly walk through the airport with your tag if you want it. I don't go that far but, I've seen many . Oh my God. What a life you lead, what a life. And do you feel when you travel internationally that you are protected by the Alliance? Do you think you could call upon them wherever you are and they would, I guess, unite. They would mobilize . Yeah, like avengers. Yeah, Star Alliance Avengers. Exactly. So you're in trouble and you're down like a dark alley somewhere, you know, in the middle of nowhere and you're like, don't worry. Hold the card up. Exactly. And it glints against the moon and they know. Oh, I'd have to try it one day. Yeah. I wouldn't say rely on it, but yeah, do try it. I'm sort of fascinated by the Star Alliance now. Who is this? Who owns? They sound like a dark shady kind of Mason's type situation . Who started this? Who are you? Who are you? Show yourself that would be terrifying. This is the start of the movie. Like Mary and you trying to find who the Star Alliance are and they sort of they show themselves as like a welcoming you know,, like little members club but, actually it's dark, dark secrets. And we're shaking Lauren, we're like, you got to tell us. You gotta tell us. And she's like, it's too messy. I don't want to get involved in this. I just want to be a messy whole town in Arizona. It's wild. The Star Alliance is an airline alliance headquartered in Frankfurt, Germany. You can see this at the start of the film. Frankfurt, comma, Germany. May nineteen ninety seven, that's when it was that was when it was formed. So we go back, do we roll back? Frankfurt, Germ any . The Alliance slogan together , better connected Lauren, I fear you've already said too much. I'm just asking questions. I'm just here working for the Hearts Ness Observer just trying to bring down the Star Alliance. Is that such a crime? I just hang the head boy off me because I'm gonna fight for justice. Dethrone me, Laura Lauren, it's been so enl ightening, but I fear you might have to sleep with one eye open. I think so. Yeah, I'm gonna be yeah, be watching my back next time I go through an airport. On that lovely flat bed They can't get you on a bed. They can't shoot you in the back on a bed, as they say. And remember, Lauren , we are together better connected . Star and a few weeks ago we talked about neighborhood WhatsApp groups and what an amazing source of bad chat they are in and off for themselves. Bad chat and bad chat for sure. There was a suggestion that we dive into some of your neighborhood WhatsApp groups. I think that's a terrible idea. Okay, you're just going back on that. I just think screenshot. I just I don't want the admin actually because I hate my one. Yeah, I've archived I've locked chatted my one. Yeah, you don't want to be part of a Union Roads WhatsApp group when somebody is trying to get rid of an old drying rack. That's not for you. But we do want to see the message. I want to see the good ones. All the bad ones. I was not really burdened with needing to reply, essentially. This is a really good one that's been sent into one of our listeners neighborhood whatsapp groups. Amazing. Sorry to send this unpleasant message very late on Monday evening, the sixteenth a package, was put through our door. It was dreadful, absolutely disgusting , and probably because of its nature, belonging to a younger person. You are? We have been advised to inform the police . But wonder if anyone else has had a problem? Number eighteen . It's a mystery package. It's a younger person that's disgusting . I mean, your mind immediately goes to sex toy deal with your sex toy. Yeah, you were specific, but it's important a feeling about you. Important to be specific. Gascorician? Yeah . If you get your deodo delivered , it doesn't it's not wrapped like one . No. How's he know how does he know then the box with a picture on it? Yeah, but which isn't that disgusting? I wouldn't say disgusting. I'm not shaming on anything. Of course not, but I'm just saying like it's not going to be it wouldn't have on the box. It's not like picture of Dildo. Yeah, I'd say it. It does . What do you think it's got a picture of? Somebody in pleasure like this Somebody will that screenshot will be used over and over and over again and look subscribers to the YouTube just wonder the Wilder Wolf. Now it was Zoe who sent this in and she says this is an interesting message on my mum's road WhatsApp group. We'll love your input on to what you think the package might be. We had all kinds of speculation. My partner thinks it was a poo , but I don't know . How would that be identified as a young person's poo? It just got lots of sort of alpha bites in it. Turkey dinosaurs. Well, I don't know how you can assume that it belongs to a young person. Quite I'd imagine clog size forty two. Just wanted I know it's wise to size up lots of love, Zoe. Thank you Zoe for that. Don't know . Sex toy shit, I don't know. Horrid. But that person is clearly a fusspot and we love a neighbourhood fusspot, so please keep sending those in. The thing for me that this is brought into Sharp Relief is that taking neighbour's parcels needs to have kind of rule of thumb because I've been in the situation, I don't know if anybody else has . Ding Dong hi, Korea person. Do you mind signing for this package for your neighbor? Yeah, okay fine. Back to the van , up to my house with a wardrobe . Now here's the thing, just signed for it, so now they won't take it back. A wardrobe then lived in my hallway for one calendar week knocking on their door every day. Who orders a wardrobe and doesn't track its progress . Massive, massive wardrobe. How high are their ceilings? Nice house, clearly. So I go round, go round, go round, nobody answers the door Eventually , as I say, a week later, somebody answers the door and I'm like, I'm by then annoyed, as you can imagine, and it doesn't take much just I'm ratty. And I'm like, I've got your wardrobe. Did you know it was here? Like, can you come and get it? She's like, I didn't order a wardrobe. It was my sister. I don't need to know the wardrobe politics of the house. Can you just come and get it? Jerry, Can't really can you bring it over? Oh me and a friend had to heave it over and then she said actually living rooms better Come on that is that is you need to be more me on my back in the late. Yeah . No, no, I'm not doing it. You want the wardrobe to come and get it, if not, I'm pushing it down the stairs. It's in the street. It's in the street. It's ready for b in day tomorrow. It's wood day tomorrow my house it's golden wood day it's Wednesday. Send us to a mad neighborhood What's up chats please and we should get out of here. Although I have just received li Live Live, a WhatsApp that I think will be a lovely way to end today's podcast. Tell me please . It just says Hi Alison . Hey Hi Alison. Just getting in touch regarding your friend who's going through the messy divorce , sorry to hear that, the self egging struck a chord, real life, not just a fantasy. At university, my friends and I went through a phase of egging students' houses. A friend in one of the houses became suspicious of us, so we decided to egg our own house to prove it wasn't us . Again, it's the perfect crime. Throw them off the scent. Throw them off the eggy scent. All good, harmless egg fun. That's that. Thanks , Alex. Oh, Alex, you're a maniac. And if you're a maniac, go and touch all the information in the show notes, bad chat, club on Instagram. Shall we? Shall we forgess sake? Cheers . See you next week ? That's fucking ranked. Undrinkable . Bad chat is a person ica podcast