Looking Ahead to Future Conferences

Weird things happen in the backyard of Let's So House. So weird, weird . Wow Welcome to Bledsoe Said So guys . Um I know that you haven't missed any episodes, but this is my first time recording in like over a month. And um Yeah, it's been a hard month. So today my son is exactly one month old. He was born on March 28th at 206 p.m. And um Yeah, it it was it was nuts, actually it was completely traumatizing. And I wasn't sure how much I wanted to talk about that if if at all, but I feel like I mean I guess it's worth talking about a little bit . But um yeah, it was it was just really messed up. We thought he was gonna die . And um Basically, you know, for for nine months we had a very normal , very problem free pregnancy with no issues, nothing to worry about at all . And then we get there and uh you know, water breaks in the middle of the night, we rush to the hospital, we're all excited, we're all freaking out. And uh she labors for like almost twelve hours without really progressing. And um then it hit a certain point where his heart started dropping to really dangerous levels. And um they lost his heart rate a few times. A bunch of people burst in the room and it was like an emergency, and we were freaking out. And then they had to wheel her back there and cut him out right away. And um, you know it was, very scary and very traumatizing and I definitely had PTSD . Uh for three days, actually more like two weeks I couldn't sleep. And um , you know, just like having nightmares about it and stuff. So it it was really tough. And the only reason I'm even bringing this up is not to like boohoo me, but it's just to say like I'm I don't feel like I'm the same person that I was before that um and I'm just like I I don't know. I f I feel I feel like a different person. I don't feel like I care about the same things that I care about before that and I expected to come back and have like this happy kumbaya story and it just be this like uh you know, wow, that was so awesome. Look at my my beautiful baby, but it's not really like that. It feels more like surviving the worst crisis that I've ever experien ced. Um, even though he was totally okay and he's very healthy. Um, it was just like a very scary shock . And um I was in there during the um emergency C section so I did kind of see everything. Um and I shouldn't have looked, but I had this weird curious thought like I just wanna see if she's okay. 'Cause it was weird. It was like the the baby table was at the foot of the operating table and she was awake, so they let me sit in there with her and like try to keep her calm and they were like, Here, come hold the baby, because Jenny was too nauseous and had all this medicine in her from the sur gery. And um so they brought me over to hold the baby and it was at the foot of the operating table. So I just had this week so of course I walked around the curtain and I just had this weird feeling. I was like, should I look and see if she's okay? I I I feel like I should. And I I looked over and they were like they were either pulling an organ out or putting an organ in. I can't I couldn't quite tell you, but it was it looked like um you know in like in the old stories when the Vikings would do like blood eagles they would like they would like cut you open and you know, splay your organs out like wings. That's how they had it arranged. I mean it was like split open. And and they were like I said, I I I it was a quick look and I regretted it. But they were either pulling one out or putting one in and I was like I shouldn't have done that. And um I'm sitting there holding the baby and I was like they were like, Here, come hold the baby, Dad and I was like, He's alive. And they're like, Yes, he's alive. Because for several minutes, you know, during the surgery, we're like, is he okay? Is he is he okay? And they're like, we're working on it. And they wouldn't give us like, oh . Um Um I'm forget the website plug, dude. I don't care. I've I just had the thought to do that. But anyway, um yeah, it was it was horrible. It was messed up. And um totally worth it, totally, totally um, you know, beautiful, beautiful baby. He's an amazing little um beautiful soul. I don't remember if why we talked about this. Were you the first person to do skin to skin with him? Yeah. Yeah. Me too. She couldn't even hold him for an hour or so 'cause you know all the surgery yeah post stop and all that and that's about the only similarity we had in our wh Yeah. Well, I mean, I think what I learned most of all was just never have a strict plan, you know, like uh uh specifically for pregnancies and all that. I mean, do you go in there and you think it's gonna go one way and it almost never does and um anyway, yeah, so it it was it was messed up and I had a really weird dream from the phenomenon. I will say I will say this . The right before the C section um and it was very fast too. It was like, okay, we're doing this, and then they wheeled her back and he was cut out in like twenty minutes and it was it was like had us in a whirlwind. But I will say that right before the about an hour before the C section, we we kinda knew that that was a possibility because of the heart rate loss and everything. Hours and watch it happen . Um watch his heart drop with every contraction. And um so I kind of knew that it was coming and that I I don't know, so I just walked downstairs to the lobby of the hospital and I like got a coffee and I was just praying and praying and praying. I was like, Oh my God, just praying and praying and praying and I did hear a voice, not audibly with my ears, but like in my mind. And the voice told me, have faith it's gonna be alright and I kind of needed that because it was so bad that for the first like two weeks I was so traumatized that every I I just I was scared to get attached because I was just like, you know, he's gonna die. You know what I mean? Just every little thing. I forgot to say too, that after all that scare with his heart and the surgery and everything, then the first night he was on oxygen for like six hours. So that was scary and they almost took him to the NICU . Um, but he beat it because he's strong and he's tough. But um yeah, it was it was messed up and I did have a really weird dream that I can't get out of my he ad and it it like kind of haunts me but when I was in the hospital I had this dream and it was the phenomenon and I know that the phenomenon gave me this dream, the an gels. And I saw this orb in the sky. It was me and Jenny . And we were standing out in a field, and it was at night, and I know we were in like a grassy field, and there were some trees in the distance, maybe like forest or something. And there was like a small crowd of people for some reason. There was like a group of people . And um I I couldn't make out anyone in particular. It was just random people. And I was looking up at the night sky and it was an orb and it was like this very scary feeling, that orb being up there. And it was flying and it you know how like sometimes when you have dreams and it just feels really eerie and weird. It was almost like a nightmare, but it wasn't like a monster. I mean it was an orb. But it was flying up in the sky, and then by the time it got directly overhead, it turned into a nuclear bomb. It literally looked like a nuclear bomb. And then it detonated and it was this huge nuclear blast. But it was like pure energy. And the the blast from the nuclear bomb was coming, so all I just I grabbed Jenny and I was like, you know, we're gonna go down toget her. And um, you know, I just kinda like held on to her for the blast to come and get us. And I woke up and I was so messed up by this dream and I had a feeling that it was symbolic of you know what we had just gone through. 'Cause it was like a nuclear bomb, his his birth, how devastating and traumatic it was . Um and I also had another feeling that it was kind of symbolic of like the changes going on in the world. That like whatever it is that's going on, you know, we're going through this together. But yeah, dude, it was messed up. And I forgot to say that a week before he was born, um I had another experience, but it wasn't a dream. I was awake for this. I was meditating and praying. And I had this experience where it was like um my vision kind of m my mind's eye vision, not my eyes, my eyes were closed, but it was like my mind kind of faded into this other space and there was it was my son, but he wasn't born yet at this point. This was like I said, a week or two before he was born. And he looked like a toddler. He had this long , curly blonde hair, and he had bright blue eyes. And he was very beautiful. He had a glow. Like he kinda had a s a a glow to him. And there was a spotlight on him, and he was in a dark, crowded room, and there was people all around him. And he was walking around, he was crying, he was looking for me. And I went and I picked him up. And then I came out of the experience. Jenny's asleep, 'cause I usually pray and meditate at night before bed . And uh the next day I was like, dude, I think he contacted me from the womb or I had a premonition or something. I don't know, but I think he's gonna be beautiful. So then when he was born, of course he's beautiful. And I know a lot of babies are be I know everybody says that, but I mean I really do feel that that he's a beautiful baby. But the thing is, he was born with long hair and all of the nurses were like everybody they're like oh my god his hair it's not blonde but they're like oh my god his hair his hair's so long it's so beautiful his hair stands straight up in spikes so that was really weird how I had that kind of like strange feeling that I don't know, it just was weird. It was all weird . It was all weird. So I say all that to say, um, you know, I just I don't I whatever track I may have been on before this month, I don't I don't know. I don't know. Um no idea w w w you know what happens next ? Just completely destabilizing . Right. Yeah, no, I'm uh I'm curious to know about some of these changes and if they they are similar to the ones that I experienced, uh, with the rapid realignment of what's what matters. You know, and I remember coming up on Christmas time shortly after Arthur was born and it's like I don't want anything. Like uh I'm not supposed to want anything, like now everything is for for this child, right? You know, and like all of this, you know, what's important, what needs to happen and almost this selflessness, like rapid acceleration of of growth and selflessness. You know what I mean? Similar or yeah, I mean it it's a little different for me because the like of course all that stuff . But with the with the great worry of thinking he was I mean dude the first time so at this point she was about nine to ten hours into labor and I was texting my parents and everything was fine. Jenny was on the you know doing her contractions and all that. I'm looking at my phone and I'm texting my parents 'cause they're two hours away, you know, I'm trying to tell people the news and update 'em. I'm looking at my phone, texting my parents, and then I look up and ten people are rushing into the room and I'm like, what's happening? And they're not talking to me or acknowledging me 'cause it's an emergency and they start flipping her over and they couldn't have heartbeat for several minutes and I had no clue what was even happening . Um I guess the nurse like pulled the cord out of the wall because it's like an emergency alert thing and it sends an alarm through the hospital, like everybody on the floor who's free rushed to this room. And I didn't know any of that, you know, I was just literally texting my parents. Uh huh, but she's she's doing great. You know, that kind of thing. And then it was like boom, it switched in an instant. And then from then on it was fear, like, oh my god, he's gonna die. And then the the doctor comes in and she's starting to tell us our options, like y we really should go cut him out, like I mean of course she doesn't say it like that, but she's like we should really consider an emergency C section and then you know we had to stare at a monitor and watch his heart drop for two hours. So after all that terrible fear and all that worry , it like it's almost like I blacked out and it completely broke me down. And then for the next three days, oh, and then of course, you know, being in the operating room and all that . So for the next three days, every time I closed my eyes, it was like I relived it every time which you know I slept two hours a night for the first two weeks probably because I didn't want to sleep because I had so much adrenaline and so much fear of him suffocating or anything like that. All because of the oxygen the first night, the heart stuff. And you know, I know this a lot of this might be normal stuff that a lot of people go through, but that doesn't make it any easier or you know, less scary. It was fucked up. So I don't think it's normal. I think it's it's common I mean. It happens. It's not normal, but it's Oh no, but I think I think every every every childbirth has its own Yeah, its own thing. Yeah, I don't think it's never a normal. I don't think there's a n there's a smooth normal one. Like that's that's the extreme outlier in my in my opinion of having done it once. Right., R rightight, yeah. But I'm just saying it was it was so messed up the worry of him dying or being dead, you know, that that horrible fear of like I I know people that has happened to like miscarriages and stillborns and stuff and that that's you know, that's close . And that could have been it's just so many things could have happened. Right. And it prom it it got to the point to where they they almost didn't give us the choice. Like the second time, not only was his heart dropping for hours, but then they would lose his heartbeat for several minutes because it was so low that the the the device wouldn't even read it. You know, and that's So with all that happening, it w it just broke me down. I'm like, I don't even think about a lot of that stuff. You know what I've just been trying to keep him alive. Right. I've been staying up till seven or eight in the morning for the last like three weeks while she sleeps and recovers. So I don't know. I d I'm I I'm not really been thinking about all that stuff. I not really been thinking about like uh, you know, all this other stuff Right. In a month. I'm telling you, dude, like I haven't thought about I haven't cared. I haven't cared about any of it. I haven't cared about you know Easter came and went, Woohoo. I I looked a little bit on my phone. Obviously the star didn't turn red. Well I got news for you. I knew that wasn't gonna happen on Easter. I never I I always felt it would be more of a fall, summer thing. It is what it is. Um, I don't care . I I I couldn't I couldn't be bothered any less. Like I've had some serious shit to deal with. So that's what I was saying. Like I've I've kind of it kind of made me a different person on the other side of it. I'm like you know I don't know. It uh it I definitely felt like I went through the fire. So yeah, let's talk about that a little bit, I guess. I don't have to keep harping on the you know what? I I would love to shout out some people. Um and it's been a long time and we've had some new people sign up, so forgive me from reading for a list from a uh from a list on my phone here. And it might take a while before I I kind of get back into my stride after you know pr a heavy month. But um you know I just these these individuals are supporting us at our um light means here on Patreon, so we want to give them a special thank you. Um I'm gonna start off with my main man blank who wants to remain anonymous. We've got Derek Longoria returning with support for that tier, so thank you very much. Chris Epperson , Brian Lynch, and Danielle Dix, who just signed up as of last night. So thank you guys very much. At any level of support that we receive, we are very grateful and very appreciative. And it helps us to keep the show alive and to keep going. And um, you know, we we're thankful for all of it so thank you very much so yeah I was just saying like I don't I don't really know I have I've kind of been in a bubble like staying up every night until the sun comes up for the last month and I'm like , I don't know what's happening. I know the world is falling apart. Um , every time I turn on my phone and look at social media, even briefly, it's fireball streaking across the sky. It's orbs. It's the vice president coming out and saying it's angels and demons, by the way. You know, my dad was the first person in history to say that . That I'm aware of, you know, that you specifically UFOs are Or angels and demons. You know, we were laughed at for a lot about fifteen years for saying that, and here we are. Now some of the most powerful people on the planet are coming out and by God they're agreeing. So I wonder whether that idea even came from. Well I'll tell you. They've always known it. The people in power have always known this through all of time. That this phenomenon that interacts with humanity is , you know , the the it's it. It's the real thing. And it's spiritual, it's interdimensional, it comes from another place. This is a big picture here that is not about some random encounter with aliens from another place . It's much more profound than that, that it is the story of creation. It's the and when you pull this thread, it's the very reason why why are we even here on earth? What are we even doing? You have to be a fool to believe in this accidental evolution crap and that we just formed on a rock that through collision with other big rocks and you know heat from the sun that it kind of shaped into a ball where water stays on it in a precisely certain way and it spins it a certain way and it has a certain tilt. It it it it's so much more profound than that, you know, that there there's a th there's a whole other line of questioning that's about to open up for you for humanity as this disclosure begins to progress. Which by the way, if I recall, hold on a second, let's back up . Um Easter was only three weeks a go, right ? Give or take. Okay, so today's Tuesday, so Sunday was two days ago. Three weeks before that, roughly, today's April 28th. Only about three weeks ago, maybe four . Okay . If you read my dad's book , which was written years ago, if you read my dad's book, it says The lady I'm paraphrasing, but she says she's you know what? No, I'm not gonna paraphrase. I'm gonna read it word for word. I don't want to be misquoted. I don't want to be, I don't want, you know, the soulless zombies who serve the matrix to uh quote me out of context. I'm just gonna go ahead and give you the real thing. Let me find it . It says o . Hold on. I have a folder of UFO of God quotes. Let me find it. She says , When we approached the front of the throne, the beings gave her a slight bow and turned to walk away, leaving me alone looking up at her. She stood up from the massive throne and hovered over the carved out floor beneath it, never touching the ground. feet above me, she spoke a parable that took a long time for me to process. When the red star of Regulus aligns just before dawn in the gaze of the Sphinx, a new knowledge shall come into the world . I was not sure what that meant. I have come to understand that around Easter twenty twenty six there will be the end of an old way and the beginning of a new. Okay . Clearly the star was not red on Easter. Again , the year is not over. And until January 1st of 2027, we still have uh, you know, a chance in in uh in the making here . But aside from that, isn't it a little weird that Easter was three weeks ago? Okay? So we're still around Easter, right? And all this stuff is happening. Things are actually happening. You have to be a fool not to see it. You have to be a nink and poop to not be able to to make the connection that things are actually happening according to you know whathat W whoops, that side what she said, what the lady said. That this world is going through a great change . And see, the reality here is the powers that be that are in charge of the world, they're very evil . They're very, very evil. They despise humanity. They despise us. They worship. If you could okay, I'm not a fundamental Christian by any means. I would say I'm a follower of Christ, but I'm not a fundamental Christian. But let's just let's just say loosely like this this is real. You know, the the biblical version is as close to real as it gets compared to a lot of things, with with some touches of other things sprinkled in there, you know ? If you could conceive of an idea of a Satan, maybe it's not one being, but there is a force that exists in this universe that is evil . The people in power of this world are in line with that and they hate us. They're literally vampires who feast on the blood of children and do way worse than that . They are the ones who have been withholding this knowledge from humanity for thousands of years, going all the way back to bloodletting cults from even before recorded history, into Babylon and Sumera and even before that, people who literally feast on the flesh of humans and children and whatnot . These are the people who are running the psychological operations to deceive the masses about this UFO story. So when you see things like you know um Mark Gates and I'm I'm not picking it again, I don't care about political sides. These are players who have now entered my turf. I've been a UFO guy for 20 years. These guys have been talking about it a little bit. So I have a right to comment on what anybody says on this subject, right? I don't care about politics. But when you have people in the political world like Matt Gates coming out saying there's an alien hybrid program, and then you have Tim Burchett coming out saying, Look, folks, I've been briefed in a private room, and uh and uh I'm just gonna say they're trying to convince me it's anti-Christian. I would not believe anything unless you see it with your own eyes. Psychological warfare exists. And then you have re presentative Luna coming out. Very sweet lady, by the way. My dad has met her. He's met Timberchet too, but he he met he had a little bit more time with Luna, and she was very sweet. But when Luna was like she's been saying you gotta read the book of Enoch. This is biblical, this is spiritual, and then the vice president's coming out and saying it's angels of the day. You're seeing a war. I'm not saying who is politically good guys or bad guys. That's not what I'm saying. Remove the faces. You are seeing a war of factions between light and dark. But this information, this very information that we've been talking about, the Bledsoe family for almost 20 years now, that the that the UFO subject is biblical. Not just spiritual, it's biblical. Spiritual could be anything. I'm a burning man and I'm burning an effigy of a f<unk>ing wicker man and you know rubbing crystals on my nipples. Like anybody can say they're spiritual. That's I don't care about that. Okay ? It's biblical . It's specifically has to do with the destiny and the creation of the human race, all the way up to the creator of reality itself, God, the great ineffable truth, right? That's what we're that is what is unfolding. That is the revealing. It's not about does life exist out there on Mars. Who gives a shit? It's so much bigger than that. It's so much bigger than that. You know what I mean? It's it's it's it's our key to this is our key to learning the truth about literally navigating the cosmos. But we're not going to do it with a physical body. It's going to be with our mind and with our soul, right? But anyway, so what you're seeing is an information war playing out before our very eyes, where some people are pushing the satanic alien narrative, and then I suspect some people are flipping and they're gaining a conscience and they're coming out and they're saying, actually, whoa, I wouldn't believe an ything unless you see it with your own eyes. Which by the way, I recall saying that a few months ago about abduction stories and abduction phenomena and uh that we shouldn't believe anything without rigorous discernment and vetting for ourselves. And somehow or another that got so crazy that I wake up one day and on Twitter I'm trending and there's thousands of posts of people shitting on me for saying the very same thing. Hmm . But who cares? I don't care. This is um to be perfectly honest, this is a spirit, you know, it's a spiritual war for the soul of humanity. And you have one side that's devouring children in many ways, not just you know, for food, but in other ways too. That side putting out a certain lie about the alien story and the destiny of humanity. And then you have God, the phenomenon itself , interacting with the masses in its own way, coming to people on a personal and an individual level and saying, Go, tell the story. We can't break the free will of mankind. We need help to to spread the world has to receive us. We need to be received. You know, the lady, she said, go tell your story. We will help you. We can't break humanity's free will. We need help. You know, and then the other side is coming out saying, Oh, it's an alien hybrid program and they've got greys from the future and they've got all this shit and they you know they do things like probe people in the butt and they do all this, you know, weird stuff. So we're seeing we're seeing in real time an information war for the soul of humanity. Because you have to think you're a God, a little G God. You are an incarnate the the true God is this infinite being. It it is the totality of all of existence itself . So if you think of like um the ocean, you know, got God is not only the ocean, but is bigger than the ocean. And every little drop of water is a part of God, but also together they they make God. But there's an infinite amount of this God to keep sending souls out into reality because God is experiencing everything through us, through through every incarnated being . So we are like little G gods, we're little fractals of the infinite mind . So our beliefs, our mind, our thoughts are very powerful. And the the Satanists in charge know this. And they don't want us to be powerful. They don't want us to have powerful thoughts. They don't want us to know the truth and to break free from the poison that they've been giving us for millennia, for thousands of years, keeping us as slaves, eating bread, building the pyramids. All that's well, I'm not I know that's probably not how they were built, but you know what I mean. For thousands of years, they've been cracking a whip. You get bread, build our monuments. That's that's humankind. That's the human story. That there's been a small ruling class who have subjugated the masses . But now they do it not only through you know taxes, through making the economy so horrible that nobody can really afford to do anything unless you're rich, uh, you know, all these other means, but they do it through information. They do it through addicting you to shitty, horrible, soulless, slop media, horrible music that brainwashes your kids to be f ine then, you know, lies about UFOs, about everything. They they are completely waging war on humanity. Why am I going on and on and on about this? Because I used to care so much so so so the whole time I've done this show I have believed that I was helping people undo that programming that I was tip toeing around what is what this all is about and you know what it means. And uh, you know, then just four weeks ago today, um , I had to survive the complete mental collapse of thinking my son was dying and being carved right out of my wife in a heartbeat and I'm sitting there having to make the decisions about all of this for the first time, you know, anything super scary and stressful and intense was all pretty much on my shoulders ' shecause was so messed up she couldn't you know, do anything. So after all that, I'm just kinda like I don't give a f anymore. You know, like I don't care. I d I don't care what people believe. I don't care I don't care if people want to go and believe lies or if they if they wanna, you know, be fooled by that. Of course I care, but I don't care to try anymore. So I've been kind of thinking about it like what am I doing? What what what am what am I gonna talk about? What is this for? What's the purpose of all of this? You know , we could we could do the best, nicest, greatest thing in the world, but because of this evil satanic system that has unlimited wealth and resources, they can send you know ever anytime I post anything or my dad or anyone in our family. We have a dozen bots saying, you know, frauds, you're fake, you're bullshit and you know I shouldn't even say that, but I'm so tired of hearing. I'm so I'm so tired of we have subjected ourselves for 20 years almost. Um, next year technically it's 20. We have subjected ourselves to the ridicule and the criticism and the lashing and the mocking and the torment of a world that is control led by demons, literally, an evil sick world. And the whole time we st'uveck to our guns and we've been telling the truth. So dealing with the trauma of my son, I just I kind of had this collapse. I'm like, you know, I don't care. I don't care anymore. I'm gonna do what I want to do. I'm gonna talk about what I want to talk about. I'm going to have fun. If I want to do a gospel series, if I want to talk about Jesus Christ for twenty-five episodes, I'm going to do it 'cause I want to. Not because I feel like I have to inform somebody about something. If I want to talk about Tibetan Buddhism for two for three weeks or freaking you know Templarism or whatever I want to talk about. I'm gonna do it because I want to. Because it's fun. Because it excites me because I don't care anymore. I don't care I just don't care to to have this this pressure and this you know this weight on my shoulders anymore about uhh what people think I'm doing or what I'm talking about after being mocked and tormented for almost 20 years. And we could do the greatest, nicest thing for frickin' humanity and and would never it's a thankless, cruel world. That's what I'm trying to say. So I'm not speaking to that. I'm not engaging with that. I'm not engaging with you know any negative I just don't care. There there are good people in this world. There are loving people who believe in truth. I've come to believe after everything that I've I've had a lot of time to think in the last month. A lot of suffering, a lot of adrenaline and no sleep for weeks and to the point of complete mental collapse multiple times, hyperventilating, just freaking terror. I've had a lot of change in my mind . And I have come to realize that there are good people in this world , but if you read the book of Revelation , it talks about there's 144,000 people. Now, I'm not one of those lightworker starseed people who are just going to say, we're the hundred forty four thousand chosen. I'm not saying that. If you also look, I can't exactly remember the quote right now. I I could find it. Doesn't matter because you can Google it and you'll see that it's true. That it says in the Bible that many are called , but few are chosen . That it's harder for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. Now I know that in first century Judea there was in the city of Jerusalem there was this tiny little entrance that they called the eye of the needle that was like a backway. I'm not I know that that's technically true, but also what it's saying is that it's very difficult for people to awaken into a sense. So I've just I've come to believe after really taking a step away for a month and good dealing with what I was dealing with that I I I really think the majority of this world is pretty negative . And you can look about anything online. You can look at anything. It could be anime, it could be hip-hop, it could be fashion , it could be your favorite brand of tissues, it could be a post, it could be a video, it doesn't matter, and you can read the comments and it's people there are hateful, negative , cancel mob people. No, Alex, I'm not a doomer. I'm not saying that I have no hope for humanity. I'm not a nihilist. I'm not any of that. I'm just saying that I've come to realize that you know I I think that I think that it takes a special calling in this world and it is very rare and few and far in between to choose the path of light and to awaken and go to the right place to to the right path the right direction. I used to be like, oh yeah, the whole world was gonna be kumbaya. I don't know. I think I think that the s the split there there is a split happening of consciousness and it's it's extreme and it's very aggressive. It's happening very frequently and um you know I think it's ultimately up to humanity to choose to go the right way. So whatever amount of people that is choosing to go the right way and be good and not engage with the darkness and the negativity, that's who I'm talking to from now on. That's who I care about. That's who I'm interacting with. And my mind, you know, welcome to the show. I I'm not I'm not trying to counteract any more some dark negative thing like I used to believe I was . Um it's not my fight. I don't care. I've got enough stuff to deal with . And uh, you know, I just wanna try to keep it positive to the best of my ability and I'm gonna just talk about what I wanna talk about and I I feel like that's pretty much all I have to say. You have anything to say about any of that, Ale How God loves and absolutely respects your free will. And uh, you know, I think that's my speculation, a large part of why uh we're here doing what we're doing. Not me and you, the everybody, right? You're you're a fragment of God experiencing everything there is to experience and everybody is a mirror of yourself. Yeah. You know, and I often see that, especially with people that I immediately don't like, and then you talk to them for longer and you begin to learn that the parts you didn't like are the parts you don't like about your own self. And anyway, free will . The phenomenon and God, but that's a synonym. Uh Massively respect your free will. I think this is also largely the reason that many experiences that that happen or happen to you can also be written off or logic away. There's always this mirror where it's a phenomenon, it's a satellite, it's this, it's a camera, it's a shooting star, it's a camera flare. That's because that's the same. Oh no. It's a SpaceX rocket. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, no. It's true. It's true, but it's it's genius. Yeah. Because I mean it's it's kind of like the movie. The the phenomenon is handing you the option, the red pill or the blue pill. Which one do you want to take? Yeah. You know, hey, the the choice is yours. You know it always will be yours. So that when this split happens and you fall on one side of the split, you can't say, oh it's not me. It was you. It was you had free will the whole time. I'm not bashing anybody. I'm just like you, you know, it's time to realize that you're in charge of of your life and you're responsible for the decisions you make, and that's just what it is. But you know whether or not you see is a reflection of who you are, right? So uh that's I just wanted to go on a rant there because that seems to be the theme today. Yeah, no, I mean I I just kinda had a realization dude like I used to care so much about trying to like help people realize you know the truth of the right thing and like in a way that didn't cause any sort of I used to it it used to bother me when people would go through like existential dread. Like I wanted to minimize that. I wanted I w you know what I mean? And I've kind of realized that Well you can help me on a personal level 'cause I I still have some of that. You need a lot. You need a lot of help, buddy. No, I'm kidding. But um can you hear him? Okay. Well anyway, so um I've I've just kind of come to realize that this is a really messed up, cruel world. And it it kind of like it almost deserves shock. It almost needs it to survive. We need a great shock. We need a collective ego death of this world to to move forward in a way that doesn't destroy us, you know ? And I I don't know. I just feel like I I I in my head I believed I was talking to the whole world and I had to reach the whole world. I don't feel that way anymore. And I don't care about that. I don't believe that it's probably possible for our platform to to blow up to that level because we're so monitored by freaking all these intelligence agencies literally overtly. I don't think they'll ever allow us to get to that level. I mean, you know, I I just don't think it's possible. Videos pop up everywhere with our family getting millions of views all over the internet, but for some reason our show can't break right past around like you know, where it's at right now. I I I and and same with dad and his Instagram and anything we do public like I just I don't even think it's possible for our family to blow up to a certain levels. So I'm kind of like my goals have shifted. And maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's the best thing for me. But um I don't I don't care to like talk to the whole world or reach the whole world anymore. I only care to reach the good people. The people who want truth, no matter how ugly it is. I don't I don't have all the answers, but you know what I do have? I have a desire to want to know the truth, no matter how scary it is or ugly it is, show me more. You know, since I was young, I would always pay uh pray to the spirit of truth. Spirit of truth. I would literally say i especially in my early twenties I learned this, spirit of truth , show me. Show me what I need to see. And as I began to do this, I began to learn more and more things that you know helped me on my path. You know what I mean? I'm not I'm not thinking I have all the answers. I don't think anybody has all the answers. I think I think by design humans are flawed and this is like a cosmic school anyway, being, you know, taught lessons and going on a journey scripted by higher forces anyway. So I'm like, you know, I just I I want to connect with the people who are on the same journey as me, which is trying to find the truth without any sort of control over what I think that is or, you know, my my ego saying, no, that can't be because I have a science degree and I believe in evolution or no, I don't I, you know, I don't like God or Jesus because a Christian offended me or I don't like Buddha because, you know, I'm American or any any of these stupid egotistical things. Like I don't care about that. What I care about is finding the real truth. Give me what's practical. Give me what's real. And also those are the people that that resonate with me. So that's the journey I'm on. Just trying to think talk about what excites me and what amazes me and what I find interesting. I don't feel like I'm on some war anymore. I d I don't I don't care, you know. Just let's just you know, have fun. Let's just have fun and keep doing it, you know . So Jenny said I could cut this one short if I wanted to 'cause it's my first one back and I've had a hard month, but I don't know. Anything else you want to add to that? Feels like cosmic detention . Earth? Yeah. Yeah, well the Gnostics said it was hell. Feels like we got in trouble. Yeah. And we it's like, no, no, go learn some lessons. Yeah, seriously, dude. This world sucks. I mean, it's beautiful. There's a lot of beauty in this world too. I think it's heaven and hell . Truly. But I think it's up to you. Yes, but then also it it it it no . I think it's up to you to react to what's happening. Right . It's up to you to choose your state. Right. But karma, cosmic law gives you what you need to experience. How are you going to react ? You're in the hospital, you think your child is dying, they can't find his heart rate. What did I do? I'm not saying that, oh yeah, I did right. Look at me. I'm just I'm literally just t telling you what happened. Like right. And I'm not so I don't mean it like that. But what did I do? I prayed and I prayed. Please, please, please. You know what I said? I said, God, I'm not even gonna bargain with you. I'm just gonna give myself to you. I'm gonna give my son to you. Shit. I'm gonna give my wife to you. You can have her too. You can have my whole family. I'm not even gonna ask for anything. Just you know keep him alive . And I heard a voice. Not at that moment, but at a different point, and it said, uh , have faith it's gonna be alright . Yeah. So I you know, I I just And in order to grow, we have to go thro ugh tra uma. Right. We come here to experience everything really, but it's you know it's it's karma and and I just was really feeling it a month ago today March twenty eighth it kind of like flipped my whole I thought my life was over dude when I was in the operating room and they cut James out and he was like they were slapping the crap out of him to get him to breathe. I thought they were I know that that's kind of normal but, in the moment it didn't feel normal. I thought they were trying to start his heart because for over two hours we were like his his heart's messing up, you know what I mean? So I thought they were trying to start his heart. They were just trying to get him to breathe. Totally normal. But in the moment I was like, oh my God, he's dead. Jenny's like, how is he? I was like, he's you know, I thought he was dead. And then Jenny's freaking out. She was all drugged up from the surgery and they still had her open. And she's like, Am I okay? Am I' omkay? Am I gonna live? And I'm just like, oh my god, my life's over. My life is completely over. I literally thought my life was over. And then it all ended up okay. So I was just kind of like. I don't know what I'm gonna talk about . I d I don't I don't definitely don't have the same worries. I don't have the same motivations that I used to have. I see these people talking about all this crap online about like, you know, hybrid programs and all this crap . And I sit there and I'm like, I don't care. They can talk about whatever they want to talk about. You know why, Alex? Because the good people in this world who seek the truth and they have a real spiritual phenomenon occurring within their soul where they are like magnetic ally aligned to truth and actual real truth, they're gonna find the way. Well those people also don't leave hate comments. Yeah. But they're they're gonna find a way, dude. They're going to find their way to the truth because it was predestined for them to come here and to experience it. So I d I don't care anymore. I don't I don't care. They can go say whatever lies they want. It's not my problem. My only problem is sharing what I know , what what what I've experienced and just having fun with it and trying to smile a lot more because I there was a lot of it was a few weeks I wasn't smiling . Um so You you're gonna say that and you're not gonna give me a smile ? Well now that you've kind of put me on the spot I'll I okay there you go. But um you're welcome . But um yeah I I don't know man. I'm just just just gonna figure it out as I go, just trying to have fun with it. And um you know, hopefully hopefully the show has a feeling of you know kind of what it was before, but I just I don't know. I just feel like I'm not the same person I was. So we'll see what happens . Well, anyway, thank you guys for the support. To be honest, I kind of feel like this is all a dream from a lifetime ago, the show and all this stuff that's happening out there in the world and you know, the the experiences and it just feels like kinda so far away to me now after all this this trauma with the baby being born and sometimes it doesn't even feel real to me anymore . And you know, any of it really. And maybe that's temporary. Maybe maybe that'll go away. Maybe it'll change, but right now it's like I hear my baby crying right now. Every three hours I gotta keep him fed. And I and I and I I f I keep thinking back to the hospital, which also feels like a lifetime ago. And that intense fear of thinking he was dying. And then we only had him in the room for a few hours with us, and then they had to take him and keep him on oxygen, you know, and then at 3 a.m. the pediatrician comes into our room and they're like, we're we're thinking we're gonna have to take him to the NICU if he can't figure out how to breathe on his own and I'm just like, Oh God, this is it, this is it, it's not over. It was one thing. Like his temperature wouldn't stabilize, then his glucose because of his glucose levels, and then he couldn't figure out how to breathe on his own, and it was just all this stress that now I'm like the only thing I care about anymore is just keeping that little baby going and keeping them happy. So I'm gonna keep doing what I've been doing. I love doing the show. I love doing all of this. It's a fundamental part of my life. And you know, wh what we do and who we are . I'm not trying to like freak anybody out. I'm just saying I don't feel that I'm the same as I was . I feel different about everything . So that's all I'm trying to say. Whatever goals I had before, whatever path I was on, I'm on a different path now. That's that's all that's all I'm saying. So thank you guys for supporting us and um you know believing in us and just being there with us the whole time. Oh, you know what? I should say Alex is I know that this will be out after that, but Alex in two days, I'm very excited because he's about to go to his first conference. Um he's going to contact mentalities. So and that's a good point that next week we'll be able to talk about that on next week's episode. That's exciting. Give me another little softball to ease into, right? So So um I am looking forward to how that goes. Uh I I'm I'm really excited about it. The the fact that you get to go and experience a conference, it sucks that I won't be there, but it's okay because my family will be there and you'll you'll be in great hands. You'll have great a time. You're gonna come back, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. You're gonna have such a good time. I can't wait to hear it. And then in just a few weeks after that we're going to California together. We're going to um to contact in the desert and I'm looking forward to that one too . So this month'll keep me busy. It'll definitely keep me busy. Oh, I should go ahead and say this too. Um naturally I had to take off of my Monroe Institute programs, um because obviously, you know, preparing for baby James to come into the world, but now that he's earthside, I've been trying to get back on my feet. I've especially because of the emergency surgery, I've had to be very attentive to Jenny and the baby. For the first you know week or so she was like kind of struggling to even walk. Now she's doing a lot better, but it's just it's just very intensive. So I I haven't really had the time to to kind of do my own th I've been kind of taking care of the family. But very soon, um we're kind of like seeing sunnier days now and it's getting better. So Jenny and I are having talks about like I gotta get my website done, the real world's knocking on my door, I gotta kinda get out there and start doing something again. And I will say I do miss I really do miss doing the Monroe stuff. It's only been a couple months, but I really miss it. I think the last program I did was like January maybe, and um it's it's coming up on coming up on I think May in a couple days. So um I'm working on it. I'm working on I I did get certified to do virtual programs. I just hadn't announced that yet because my website wasn't finished, but I'm very close to finishing my website and then I'll get right back to it and uh I look forward to um having people join for those classes . So my website um I should have more information on that soon to be able to book classes. I hope you guys have a run a w I'm tripping over my words there. I felt like Scooby-Doo for a minute. I was about to say wonderful raggi raggi-roo. I hope you guys have a wonderful West dang it. Bye guys Weird things happen in the backyard of the Blessed House. weird, weird Wow