Cousin Council and Final Thoughts

Hello everybody. Wlcome back to Bloodline Banter. I'm Raleigh and I'm Landon Well, how'd you sleep I slept okay. Okay I'm not amazing. What was your sleep score? seeventy one He was ab aboutove seventy. That's a C. What was yours fifty three. Landon. And M was telling me that I was showing minor signs of Well get the hell away from me bit because I ain't trying to be sick. Minor symptoms of something Minor signs of strain get away from me Yet they behind me because I during lastight Why did you talk about that later? Why' you drink Vlodka We can talk about lightater though. Do we need to have AA? No, we don't need to have AA, but Bing can take straight shots of ar again and not makeg a face Okay, let's talk about her. let's talk about that. Okay Right out the gate Yeah. Auck I don't want to say I like the taste of vodka, but like it's just my drink of choice. Okaykay. And I feel like when you drink So much of it And I don't want to say I drink so much but like when you drink Hi, my name is Raleigh It's not like that, but that's my drink of choice when I go out to the bars, when I go out my friends, when I drink at home. I alwaysav voda.' a spirit of choice, but I mix it with things I mean, I do too, like espresso martini has vodka in it, you know, lemon drop martini, vodka Dirty Martini, vodka. Yeah, if anybody drinks a dirty martini, I don't trust you because that shit is salad dressing Mine's definitely awful. You wouldate how I ordered my vodka or my art I know how you order your Dardy Martini. Landon gets straight vodka with three olives on the stick. It's good. Blue cheese stuffed olives. My two nightmares mixed in one thing. Do not give me no damn blue cheese. Do not give me no damn olive. bothoth tastes like fuck. I mean, I'll do like a pimento stuff olive. No I'll diplemented cheese I'll do that too. But no olive. Ry, it's good Because of blue cheese and like the olive, it cuts the alcohol whenever you drink a sip and then take a little bite of the olive Like, don't put no juice. I don't wantan to drink no nasty ass pond water. I want my shit to be clear I'm drinking a dirty mart. I've been with you when you've ordered an extra dirty martine. You don't act like you don't like the Oh the skewer. No Us to, you would order an extra dirty Yeah Mbe back the Martini. Maybe back in my pr days where I was just learning to lock a dirty twenty one not twenty two. When I was probably eighteen and not twenty one. Okay, so we're not gonna talk about that, but yeah. so what is your drink of choice A vodka soda with three lumbs. Really? Yeah. That's very low calorie. It sounds like. Why do you think that's mattering of choice It's trying to unbake this back bit. What is it You put It tastes water in. You put soda water. It tastes like you hooked up jumper cables to vodka with a touch of le. And then it makes you feel like you hooked up jumper cables to your nipp. The lime cuts the alcohol, so you can't really taste it that much. What's not the alcohol that tastesad, It's that nasty ass soda water? No I can drink soda water. It's le, It's the vodka because you're like I don't With soda water. I used to not, but like a Lroix L Croc. Oh, I do. I used to not. I used to shit on people who did. But I tell you there is a brand of soda water or like whatever it's called that I actually do like and it's waterloo. Oh yeah, they are good. It's more flavorful. I like a waterloo. It's anSPR. I know, and it's actually good. Yeah, it's good. It is Anyways Um, but Yeah, a vodka What do you call that katonic, people are not think we're alcoholics Well, but we live in Nashville That just makes it sound like more alcoholic. I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink to I mean socially drink. But what do you got going on the rest today I don't think I have anything today. I probablyrobably gonna eat after this and then I was thinking that too. What do you feel like youre w to eat? Something brunchy. Like a first watch moment. Yeah. But I don't wanna go there. Okay, whereere do you wantna go? I don't know. But you do want to go somewhere right? I do want to go somewhere, but I don't know where. We can go wherever you want to go as long as I can eat semi healthy Okay. Because I'm trying to rain it back in ' my tits are getting bigger. And you're on your weight loss journey and you've gained a little bit of weight I need to get it back down. And you will. you will get it You have give it to God. Amen. I have. And what he tell quit eating Um He said your free will doesn't mean to stuff your face. I ate when I'm happy I eate when I'm sad atate when I'm depressed, I atate when I'm joyful to celebrate. So maybe we should find something in replacement of eating. Like what? I don't know, because I eat when I'm sad when I'm happy when I'm depressed, but I was just blessed with high metabolism but it is starting to slow down, which is why I've hit the gym. Okay. I've g m since I've moved to Nashville. Okay, well, you moved to Nashville seven months ago But That's a lot We have lived here for eight months. How does that make you feel? That's actually crazy to me because I feel like it's been two weeks and I love it Me here. I lived here november first. When did I move here A week before that Iber twenty first, I think. Yeah U, so I've lived here today Well we don't how to gm exact dates. Today's July second. Somebody asked the other day, they were like, you post on your snapchat and you post this and you post out, like where you live, like that's dangerous. But I got news for you. If you come up in my apartment complex Uninvited You were getting shot. And that's not a threat. That is a promise. Amen That is a promise. Would you not? Yeah, crriminal me clock. Yeah. He's not very nice. N. And and that's just how it goes. But you also have to have like a code to get in my apartment front door. You gott to have a code to get up to the elevator, You got to have a code to get to the damn floor that I live on. Also, you don't know what floor I live on. some guy in the elevator asked me that other day, what floor I lived on. I told him number two Why do I ask you that? Weird He was trying to like be buddies and hey yeah, what floor you live on? I said number two I don't live on two. We've actually said several times where it wasl, so we live on on the podcast. So I live on eleven now. Okay, He moved last week. Anyways U yeah, I'm really feeling a brunch moment because I ate some overnight oats this morning and they were good, but you're on an overnight oat kick. I am. I started watching some woman on TikTok and she made them and it made me want them. so I I started. Yeah. Lannon and I are drinking champagne on the pod today just because it makes our episodes go smoother. And one thing I've started doing before I have alcohol is having a zebiotic spence probbiotic pre alcohol drink It is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic drink designed to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. Whenever you take a drink According to Zeiotics, it's a buildup of that byproduct, not dehydration that is responsible for making you feel of after drinking. Zbiotics pre alcohol produces an enzyme that helps to break that byproduct down The key is making zeiotics your very first drink of the night. Our viewers can go to zeiotics d. com forward slash banter for fifteen percent off your order. That is zebiotics d. com forward slash banter for fifteen percent off your order. And sometimes you a't even got haveave one it not. I'll have one in the morning. You know what? Be you drink your champagne. I'll drink Do you know what I cannot stand What Whenever someone texts you And I'm speaking to you directly when when I refer to this And they say have to tell you something or we need to talk. And then I' not say that to you in a long time but you have before bitch. all of a sudden They're nowhere to be found. I do that all the time. Uuck that W my friends. That is And my people. That is actually insane. It's tormentation. Yeah, it is. Why would you do that to? I've not done it to you in a long time. Okay, why you it to anybody? I feel for them and don't even know you're doing it too I don't. I'm just saying like you just said you did it. I've learned and grown from that Also when I sure hope, when I text you and say, Let's talk or I have to tell you something. I tell you right away. We're talking about those bitches that We text and be like, Hey, I have to tell you something and then leave you on deliivever for damn eight hours. If you do that, just know that there is a special place in hell for you Sit by the right hand of the devil. Okay, I wasn't gonna say that what? That'll preach. Because I can't stand someone who does not want to have the conversation when they bring it up. If you don't have the time, the energy or the effort. to talk to me about something When you bring it up, don't text me Don't talk to me, Don't even say that you know me It really does piss me off and I' just kind of where I say what I have to say You know what I also learned? You know whenever like there's a talk or something and it's like having to do with the situation you're dealing with peopleople are in the comments saying like, silent repost. Oh, I'm gonna to repost that shit. O wish I could repost this or should I send it to them I send it. I did I send it. I sent two yesterday. You know what? I've got to where I repost shit and if people think it's about them, I say if the shoe fits, then lar that bitch up and walk a mile in it. D't wear three miles in it. Walk four miles in it. Walk in the damn thing R. You know what? If you have done something to me where you think it could be about you, then that's your fucking problem Ture words have never been smoken f But like I've just gotten to where I sent it. I send it. Snd it. send it Hi Dave Um What is the craziest thing you have ever seen in Walmart I was in there a couple weeks or not a couple of weeks ago, like a week ago and Somebody scratched their ass and then grabed a loaf of bread, but like that's not really crazy. I think the craziest situation J just watch someone scratch their ass that worked there on the online grocery pickup and then shop through produce So before or progr grocery pick upp at any restaurant, you may want to know what you're getting yourself into because Brenda has been digging for gold And if you don't wash your produce, this is your sign. Do you have another one of them We're Alpin, can I have it It stuck If you don't sponsor the podcast B you should You should. anyways. What do you The craziest thing I've ever seen the Walmart though, is probably when parents don't keep their kids on a leash and well that'sday. I was in there and I was getting a wagon a couple months ago and Literal kids were like kicking around soccer balls If I' done that in the warmer I would make sure I was down an aisle that like nobody was on or something. No they were just kicking around using my buggy as a fucking obstacle on the field. Yeah. Yeah,. And I yelled at on my dad. Someone commented on my Facebook the other day and was like, Hey, I'm so sorry, my dad almost ran you over the other day in Walmart. I just wanted to let you know that he's kind of losing his mind I was like, it it' okay I didn't die. Howm much ran you over like in the car? I don't remember that actually. I guess with this buggy in the Walmart But I don't remember that, but said it's okay, I didn't d But what do he want to talk about What do you want to talk about? I don't know. Do you have any pressing issues that are on your mind? I feel like we always have pressing is pressing issues. I'm hungry We're always humungry. Well, you don't have to go there. But telling you. I'm feeling a door dash moment tonight for supper because I don't have no groceries and'm what are you going to door dash? Wing stop. Llan and, you always doorash that. It's just so good. I've not had wings stop in a minute Do you not like it? I love it. I'm just trying to unbake my bag A wing can't be too unhealthy for you. can't be too healthy for you either But it's more healthy than it is on him. But I don't lock a. Would God wouldould God rather you eat a wing or bow of cereal for dinner Well, he'd probably rather me eat like a chicken breast with asparagus so I was't want to lose weight. But But go back to the drum. wing or Bll of cereal or wing or know, honestly, I think would' rather have a ball of cereal because listen, you would rather have a ball of cereal and I love cereal. right threeere That's my guilty pleasure me. What's favorite cereal Um I have a line and I can take thirty m br. I want to say cinnamon Tast Crunch because it's my for it's one of my favoritees Let me know what I've really gotten in this pretty maturing. Let me let me finish. Okay. I've gotten to where I enjoy. Tusted or huing at Cerios You've never had a frosted flake with a sauceed up banana put in it. don't I don't focus with fruit and cereal. That's so dumb No, it's good try. I have You don't like it for a real. I don't care for it. top three are Fuity Pebles, cinnamon toast C crrunch And then Fruit loops They make up a fruit loop. They make fruit loops now with the marshmallows in it. I don't care for the marshmallow. I don't even like the marshmallows in Luckyarms So just like They're trying no flavor I just like the like, don't like the charm Um, you know what Buy those marshmallows, those dehydrated marshmallows by the bag Really? I putem in fru pebles, put them in cementa's crrch, put ' them in any kind of cereal. I've never seen. T themem in honeynut Cheios I love a hunting that Cerio I say I love any kind of st. Let me tell you what I did that. You know what I don't like? What? And a lot of people do Cocoa crrispy What is that? Or a cocoa path I like the peanut butter ones. No are Rey puffs. I like a Rey puff. I haven't had those in a minute. What's a cocoa puff? It's like a Tx, but they're chocolate I don't locked that. I've never had it but don't lock it Let me do what I did that other day. I went to Chick Fil and I ordered a twelve count grilled nugget. And for whatever reason, the chick fillet Eighth Avenue. Chick Fil. The Chick I'm Sir on eighth Avenue can't get their shit together. I never thought I would say that about a chick file, but whoever the operator is of the Chick file on eighth Avenue need to go back to church. They do, get rebabaptized. ask the Lord to come into their heart and then try to be the operator a Chick fly man. Because I think that's the devil. Amen. It's a something walking in sheep's clothing or wherever that goes. Yes. Yeah. I ordered a twelve count grilled nugget and they gave me a fried nugget Hear the fuck would complain about that. I'm not gonna only a skinny bitch because let me know if they give me a fried nugget. I would take that as a sign that I wasn't meant to grow up no stink. know hitting the gym and like trying to do better. So I was like You know, not that I'm Well, I need to do better Like I just want to get fit and toned and work out, you know But I was just thinking grilled nugget make feel better They're good And I got my thing and I got a fried nugget, so I waited until I got home and I put them in a glass bowl I put a packet of ranch in it. I remember seeing this on a packet of buffalo and about a tablespoon of honey And I know Chick Fillay gives a packet of honey, but it was in that cardboard shit. so I couldn't shake it. cardboard The l the fried nuggets come? Oh It wasn't in the plastic container where I could shake it, you know, it would have spewed out. That's why you asked for a sala container in big back activities when I won when I used to be fat and f. I'm satisfied that the eighth Avenue wouldn' it wouldn't even give you the damn sht off their back because they suck Okay, well, I used to get a twelve coundint nugget, a large fry and a salad container and I would put Cheake fy sauce and ranch and shake it up. And then I would eat it like a salad And that was a healthy salad Any kind of s Intil the amount twelfve count Chicken nuggetat Chick fillet is forty grams of protein. I know And it's fried pean. Have you ever had the Kill C crunch salad? I don't fuck with kill? Oh, no I don't either but it's good. It's actually good., if you try it, you'd like it, I promise. it's sweet. It's good. I don't want a sweet salad Okay, but It's good. I'm just trying to tell you, it's not like because kale is bitter You know what I could eat colloard grains Yes, I've been craving those that you're gonna agree with me, but you're not going to want to go Pf thirty club I'm not going But it is good The twelve thirty club on Broadway M to thely food sa. It's good Next to the a familymb is sued Words are hard The assembly food thing is probably going to be at the last suppuer That is the last supppper. I mean I honestly think when the Lord comes to me tellell me the what do you think about him and the twelve disciples and all of us are going to gather in the Honketonk Club and the Spper club So's what they're called the second and the first floor. And we're just gonna to have And on the upper floor, we're going to speak tongues. Yes, becausecause that's what they do. Lower flo, we're gonna to probably banjise. Yeah What do you imagine the last sepparate to belock What do you think what kind of food do you think it's? bigig grand table that's super long And we're sitting on both sides of it and Jesus is at the head of the table because he's the king of kings and Lord of Lords. outphit on the oega at the beginning and the end I want somebody pretty We're probably gonna have like collard greens. Okay, fried chicken If fried chicken's not there I won't do anything, but Hidden Valley Ranch. Hidden Valley. It's going to be hidden in the valley. Yes of the Lord. And he's going to go get it and prepare it for us. And will he will leave the one for the many And he will leave the craft behind. Yes. Yes Good mashed potato And a baked potato. And some good cheesy macaroni and cheese That And you know what? And we're not even corn bread. and calories don't count because we'll be in heaven. And we won't even gain weight. And we won't shed a tear if we do. because our tears shall be wked away Jesus weeppt. No, he didn't. Not at the last suppupper. Jesus praised. and I did too A Well, somebody prized him and we're gonna have grain beans with ham pastes. You know what else we're gonna have? What? Carrot cake. Carrot cake. That rout there will German chocolate. My heart is fluttering. We're gonna have all that. My heart is going piter pack. Do You know what best part of it is? It's no calories. If we don't have any of that, we won't even know it. Noope won't. We'll probably eat out of the garden of Yosemite. We will I can't wait to go to that tree That all the fruits grow Tree of life. Yeah. I think I don't think that's what it's called. I think that's what it's called, but I don't know. But there's a tree up there. I know you don't eat the apple. Not unless he tells you to. Well, he told you not to. That's what I'm saying. Unless he tells you to, you don't eat it. And Eve did it and the serpent told her, we're preaching. The serpent told her, it'd be okay. Eat the apple, Eve And she ate it and now that was her first sin. Then she brought sin into the world. And that's why you don't ever let the woman decide where you wantan to go to. That's why we're bombing our ran. What the hell? I bl everything on Vladimir Lazent. Headimir Zelinsky. You mean Vladimir Putin? No, I mean Vladimir AnneZelensky 'Cause there's theone who st started all this bullshit. They decided to. They decided to war and everybody else went to war. And you've got BB Net and Yahoo. Oh, don't even talk about him, he' kill C we say this? I'll say whatever I want. Okay. I live in a conottoncrete bunker Anyways, back on track. Yes. I'm looking at that plant over there and it just makes me want a bigger plant for my apartment Do you even have a plant for your apartment? That's fike, I got at homeome Goods. How was with you, Where's it at Aside my Damn, I'm sitting down in this chairhoold. You too. I sunk. We're gonna have Technck. You know, I've not bitched you for your tech neck in a long time. Yeah, 'cause you've got it. What's your screen time? I played the fifth and the sixth We only all twenty seventh. All twenty seven. Is there twenty seven? or twenty eight? twentyenty seven, I think. I think there's twenty seven. What is the sixixth ammendment? I think that's the one that says that we like can house soldiers or something. Let's look. Let's look at the amendments of the Constitution Let's go down all ten and say which one we think the most important is? almost Let's go to fourteen I almost call those the T commandments, but they're not. they're the Bill of Rs. Yeah, the first ten What is number one? Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of all, the freedoms. Yeah., I want somebody preachem. Yeah. What is the second? Right to bear arms. Okay. I't Washington? I don know another third. The number three is what? I just said it Something about housing soldiers? The quartering of the soldiers. They can What does that say? I don't know something about they can't live in your house where But they can live in my house. we're in war. If they do they got quarter the soldiers in my second bedroom, B. If they do that. If you protect me, we're good. If they do, they gott to bring a quarter, I guess. What is the fourth? I don't know. Unreasonable search and seizure. Oh, I like that. Can't be going through my shit, b. Oh, hell no, you better bring on to. Jefferson said no Bring a warrant The fifth is You don't perurjure yourself Oh, you played the fifth. I like. Oh the sixth is the route to a speedy trial. And I lock down The seventh is the jury trial A jury of your peers You can't have a jury of your peers. you are entitled to a jury of your peers. I don't believe in that. Why 'a I don't want my peers deciding my fate 'cause they know me. I the That's not how that works. don't say, okay, you fall landing on TikTok, so we're gonna make you a juror. That's of the people in your So like, if you commit a crime in Atlanta The people in Atlanta where you committed the crime are on the jury. S, and I don't think that should be Fair. W because I want somebody from like Pennsylvania deciding my face. Well, that's not how that works. Be you clearly not they T to sh in there. I feel like there's a lot of biy. or that's gonna It's twenty six. There's biy in everything. Yeah. I just feel is fins and cruel and unusual punishment So we can't give you the death penalty for running a stop sign Thank God But you know what? I think the death penalty should be on the table for people who don't use a fucking blinker. You're right. Because I don't want to total my damn car because you're ass don't how to drive. Because Brenda put her blinker on it last minute. Or Brenda didn't put her blinker on at all. She didn't because and youat the ass into her car and then it's our f're notif foallllowing too close behind orr not have a controlled veh. He No no it's Brendas faul, should't how a damn drive. But I drive a Tesla and it'll catch that shit. Why don't I drive a Toyota and that shit ain't that high class But then it lasts a long time, but get your dashcam I don't believe in that. You don't believe in dashcams? I don't know why I just felt like that was a good thing to say. Not as non emurated rights of retained by people. What does that mean? No earthly idea. I am not. Do I look like Alexander Hamilton bitch? I thought you about said Alexander Grahambell? Him too. W do you know what he did? Invventented the telephone? No, I don't think he did. I think invented the light ball. No lightball. No, he didn't Alexander Graham Bill. invented the telephone. You could be right and I'm not sure you're right. No I'm right. What do you mean I could be? I couldn't be shit. Let me search it Who invented the telephone Hed light bulb then Thomas Edison, I think. Well I'm searching. Well, I know the answer, bitch. you don't need to search. Have a little faith in me Alexander Grandbel did invent theiPhone. or not the. He't invent the ihone. Steave Jobs invented the that. He liked the bricks for the iPhone. Yes. Yeah.. His bricks weren't really. So Wh who invented the lap bulb? Wh Thomas Edison But thinks I'm stupid. Oh, I don't, but you're right. I know. I'll listen to you next time. Okay. Number eleven is suits against states. I don't know what the fuck that means either. Number twelve is the election of the president and vice president, whatever. thirteen abolished the slaves. That was very good. Abraham Lincoln did that And he was a Republican proclamation We're not getting political. We're not, I'm just saying. fifteenth was the right to vote not denied by race. so anybody can ve. Thank God. sixixteteen was income tax. I would like to abolish the fuck out of that one. The sixteen? Yes. Inome tax. Whats the fuck was the point in that one? It wasn't becausecause the government is a grady bastard because they got us in debt and they could tryed to figure out a way to get us out of. We're debt. We've in debtince theyt help It ain't helping nothing. I mean, what the hell are we good for? Nothing, What debt. What the hell is our tax dollars going? Yeah I find it quite ironic the government that it's in forty four trillion dollars worth of debt or however the fuck we are has the audacity to say, let me take Give me a credit score H and tries to tell me that my credit score is eight eight hundred or seven twenty or When I our country had a credit the fucking interest four hundred and thirty four hundred my ass'd begative. We wouldn't even have one. No, we'd be in the negative. If the United States of America had an interest rate that they had to abide by. That shouldnt be four hundred percent It would be. But we're too busy paying for other country shit Don't even get me started. to talk about our own Ranile We're fucked over here in America. And what the hell is my tax dollars even going to 'cause it sure the hell ain't fixing the poth hole that's front of my dn apartment complex He has his own zip c subivision. It's got do fucking culturacs in that bitch ass fucking a three bedroom two bathroom mansion in that horror Anyways, abolished income tax. Whenever president gets a rid of the income tax, I'llote to make you the king. Hell yeah, I don't care what party you're from. I don't care Nothing. I don't care about anything. If you get rid of the income tax, I'll vote to make you Vote for me Monarch. twenty twenty. twenty forty six and I will abolish the income tax. Lord's come back for them. Well, I thought he's come back for twenty twenty one. We know not the time nor the hour. No, but we know it's needs to be soon because I'm tired of paying them taxes. I am to Lord plates can get us before next April O October I filed an extension I'm not gonna go through the rest of them, but the eighteenth is prohibition of liquor And you could't drink, which they they appealed that one I think or sending Aended it We appeal it. they amended it. Yeah. oh, this is not liquor. This is champagne It's actually Perseco. Is that liquor? I would tell I said it's not liquor. It's one Persecco is darkly one We've been on a roll this episode Have we because I feel like we't talk about shit But you know, we never talk about anything important. That drink kind of tastes like cardboard Mine contest like stack electricity. Okay There's any kind of wire you on the inside? You know what I'm doing after this actually? Go home and taking a nap Yesterday you took a nap and I texted Landing yesterday because we park behind each other because we have a parking spot at our complex now and And I said, Hey, I'm moving your car. My suckglasses fill I said, Hey I'm moving your crre gun to Who Foods. And I went to Whole Foods. And then Glana never texted me back. Got back to the apartment Two hours went by, never takes me back. I said, what are you doing? An hour went by. He never takes me back. So you called me? Face T himim, He didn't answer me So then I called him I thought he was dead. thought What if he died? And we have to record the podcast tomorrow and what am I gonna do? 'cause I ain't know to talk about. if I think I had to record a solo episode, I'd die. Because I can't sit and ramble that long. You can. trust, you can. W would be funine noody, you can ramble. Shut the hell up. And u I' a compliment, Lokei. I called him and he said H That's said high What are we going talk about tomorr in the podcast He said, I'll call you back in five minutes I said, why he said I'm going back to bed Po and go back to bed for five minutes Well, you just woke me up for my nap. Well, I will say you well, you nnapped for three damn hours. so I really do you a favor three thirty to five thirty. But that's two hours. But o I texted you yesterday. Oh, I just got a text. Who was it Anybody important? He looks startled Who is it? Alex? U so I texted you yesterday and you finally woke up And, um Then he facime me last night, he said, would eat for dinner A said a sweet potato and cheese He said I didn't eat dinner And I don't feel like weaight on orderash, so I think I'm gonna to be skinny and go to bed hungry And I did. I went to bed hungry Well? Be I just didn't feel like waiting on door dash because it doesn't matter where we're at. the dashers here Take thirty minutes. But I love doordash. But you had cereal. I doordashhing when I got cereal. And I need to go grocery shopping. Okay. I feel like we always need to go grocery shopping becausecause I never have groceries. I'm also leaving on the day to the grocery store. Well le even Thursday morning going out of town Glndon's going to the beach soow I am going to the beach solo. First solo vacation. How do you feel I'm excited. People were comment on my snapchat story saying like, you Like I would be so bored, I could talk I would be talking to the wall d da like, Oh going to restaurants by myself. like I could never eat alone or whatever. But people don't realize I've been doing that for years. I could have went, but I decided not to because first of all, the hotels were expensive as hell and not because I don't have the money because I don't wan to spend the money to go for three days at the bitch because that's enough to just piss you off opinion. When I go to the beach I w want a wee I differ from that. When I go to the beach we want about three days is all I can handle. Really? I don't want stand.id I just want to wait because it's so damn far away That's five hours, six hours That's too damn far away Unless I'm blind. I did look for plane tickets last night He, do you find any No But it is far, but it's going to be good. we're going Not put on music, so I don't listen to music we're going prop my phone up on the dash of my car because I drive a Tesla and it's flat and I'll put it in my little phone holder and I'll watch Netflix all the way down there. That's six episodes of my show. Okay, well, that's illegal whatever you say, what you it It's notillgal if you don't get called What are you gonna to watch? I don't know I'll find something. What's your show I don't know. I'm saying I want to find something I'm not watching a show right now. I really need new things to watch because I'm fresh out I want to be Mvy Star I would love to be an actor Not even a movie star I don't gotta be a star. I would love to be an act O acting g. I think I would be so good at it. We would be.ot I think we should, you know, like What's her name Melissa McCarthy She know't's a good actress. But she don't have to act. She just plays herself Yeah I feel like we could do that in a show or a movie. I want my own reality TV show. Like a sitcom. could you imagine our life is a sitcom No. We'd get so canceled, we couldn't work at MDald's We wouldn't even be able to work a taco Bell I can't work a tacoll because I at eat the menu They came out with this new menu item and I cannot wait. I think I'm gonna go get at it after this Almost doorash a grilled cheese burrit last night They came out with this new case Sorrito. It's like a c Tucko Bell. if you hear my cry, please bring back the chicken toquita The rolled chicken tacos, if you can hear me clap twice Bring back the rolled chicken taco I love to dip them in sour cream And sppicy ranch. Spicy ranch. but I will say this, I do not fuck with a Chipotle sauce That us abomination It's just so nast. know, we were talking about the Bab Catina chicken taco. withith no sauce, just the chicken and the cheese and then I get So it's dry Sahar desert. but dry b what Cuter? No, Okaykay I diip mine in sour cream And that's fine, but you need extra sauce I don't, actually I' get some taco mild. sorry it just burped into the camera the Mac friend. Oh he done it again M have Toms? I like's choking and ds Y'all, this episod is all over the place, but people love it when we don't have anything important. I know. We just. I do have something that important to say. what would that be? Scan your food and your groceries Walmart are the all of that great I love to do that I love to go in and look at something that I think is really good for me because the internet says it is and then I scan it. And then it tells me that I'm going grow three extra toes and have cancer of the backbone. What's the last Well, Lannon has no beds on manan or, he doesn't to turn off his. No, listen, what's the last Thank you scanned. What was the score, do you remember? Probably a protein bar that said it was healthy and all natural and it was like a forty nine which means it wasn't healthy en Which means it's deadly Asking to add the odorant last Okay thelive app. byy the way, we're talking about the Olive app. We've said this in a lot of episodes now. It's an app. It's like a holistic food scanner app, but you can also scan your products likedorant, body wash, things like that. shampoo, all that stuff. and it gives you a score out of one hundred and it tells you like all the toxins and seed oils all kinds of stuff like that. Our viewers can go to the link in the description below and get a seven day free trial when they download it. Or you just go to the app store and download it and get a seven day free trial. Yeah Goodck out That's good I do too. And I've got to where I do it for fun now. I do too I just because Iive, and then end up staying in the grocery store for another hour But I love just scanning stuff The last thing I scanned was a thirty out of one hundred, whichich means it was pretty healthy. thirty out of one hundred is not healthy Are you sure? I'm positive. That's an F No I'm saying like, thirirty was in green No, it's already's not in green seventy or h is in green, I think. thirty is red It's the same as like a grading skcaill in school Don't listen to Landon. Well, I scanned and ar did you know that it was It was healthy And I got it cause it was healthy You do have a Ros cake. Um if I have like peanut butter and honey on it, I'll eat it A rice cake with peanut butter honey and like a caramel rice cake with peanut butter honey. and you said cararamel, I'm proud of you. And strawberries or bananas actually very good And cinnamon, you should try it Well, I like that kind of stuff. I didn't think you like that kind of stuff. Why becausecause I'm fan? No, I just you never eat it. I never say you eat it I don't eat it in front of people. I mean I don't just show up, roll up with a snack of a rice cake I normally stick to Doritos in a social environment. I love a Dorito Do you like a Dorito What's your favorite color Dorito? Purple bag, Blue or purple. And Red. I will say though, Dorito just came out with like this new brand called Naked It tastes the same. It's just a Dorito without the seasoning on it. It tastes the same. I like that because I like to suck the seasoning off of them. but it tastes the same. And the seasoning is still on there. Yes It's just not colored. When did you have? I don't have the all the other bullshit in Um I don't know the exact days. I know you ain't buing no damn january twenty seventh at eleven fourteen They didn't have them in January Yes, they did. I don't think they did. You want to make them out? Yeah, look at them. Okay. When did the When did the Red Dorito debut I know I'm right because I'd be looking for Snacks and cheat che deb you. Let me tell you something, my ass is sore from sitting in this chair I don't know why december first of twenty twenty F. Okay, well you can suuck an ass Because you didn't have them in January.. Yes, I did. I don't believe you wor. You don't have to believe me. I ate it at my mom's house ' she bought them and I didn't. Ain't no damn way Jennifer, Your mom is loyal to the red bag, I feel like. My mom is only loyal to the red bag when she's eating a when she's eating cheese steps. You've ever had Doritem dipped and cheese, dip I have actually. Per are you talking to you've been on the phone a lot Nuna. This episode. Nuna business Okay, well I'm going to check my phone then if you're checking your phone Raally Yes, sir. Get back to the program. This episode Ven sucks You think it does? Yeah I don't think it does. We'll let our viewers know. We've run out of juice We were a little down when We can't put this in. Yeah, we can. No, we're not. We were just a little down when we came in to record this morning No, we're not cutting shit out. Why we cutting? We are because we fucked it up. We we did' gonna talk about it. The viewers will let us know if we fed it up. No we're cutting this out for real. What are we talking? No, we're not cutting it off. we our bitch I'm the boss. I'll end at the episode I'll edit this episode. first one in a minute And I'll edit it I'm going be on a three day vacation. This this episode, I'll have all the time in the world. Mon, you won't do shit for work on your three day vacation. We all have to vlog the whole entire trip. I've got some sponsors that are working with me. Okay, well you do them I am also starting to vlog. I have decided to take it upon myself to buy a vlogging camera. Yes. So go to the description box below and subscribe to my YouTube because I'm gonna vlog shit. And I hope you do a wonderful job. Aam, do you want to go do a Muck Bang later? No. Why? Beause it's your channel, not mine. You wouldn't like to make a guest appearance? Whenever you're monetizing, then you can pay me and I'll make a guest appearance. Oh, no, that's not how that works. won't It won't be as good unless'm in it. so I need to help you get monetized. I don't believe that for a second. It's not Yeah it's just, you know, okay. Yeah. But now I don't want to do out of bang. Okay, what you said If we door dash, we can do a muck bang in my apartment. Okay, I have a little ch. Iid you w want to go somewhere? That's fine. Okay. Let's door dash. Okay. Where are we going to door dashink stop can't have wing stongs. They have celery and carrot sticks. You think I'm gonna eat fucking celery and a carrot stick over a wing bitch? No over a french fy. that's the w aren't bad the wings aren't bad for you. They are the way I like 'em Parmiseant. Tax on the calories Raleigh, I think you're the funniest human I've ever met in my life. Well, thank you. I think I am too. I really thank that. I think People always ask if Raleigh is funnier than me and he is Look, I know that. I'm glad he's self aware. I am and our funniest together. We set each other up. Someone said they Rally I will say this and just like you just said, Righ's not as funny by himself as he is with me in his presence. I think I'm just funny around people I agree with what you said, but I think honestly, you are. Because I'm just I feed You have the ability to entertain. Like if we ever to go on tour for the podcast, I think it will be great because I think the positive energy in the room will fire us up. Rileallyy's the reason I'm skinny, That's what I tell people. ' he makes me laugh so hard that I have abs. Well, you need to get funnier 'cause I ain't fucinking got none Be I need something bitch And it's going to take a lot of laughter to get breakthrough this. She laugh a lot Andad jokes behind the scenes. I' a lot better than they're on the podcast Because they get us canceled Sorry. Well, you can't airlland those jokes because they are rated PG thirteen. They're rated R. MA for mature. They're actually rated Z is the fucked up. See nobody would have ever thought to say that. You're right and they wouldn't have because I'm on the spectrum. Let's get into Bood line brain chehecks. Okay I don't have anything prepared for this episode for Bloodline brain checks, so you'll have to do that I do have to say something while you're doing that. I went to the bathroom earlier before the podcast episode and I was peeing and I mashed the button in thing. like this is why I don't trust a button in a bathroom. I need you to pay attention to me. This is important. You trust a sliding lock? I trust a sliding lock. I don't trust a button because I mashed the button in and it went in and somebody still came in on me in the bathroom What they do? Oh, I'm so sorry, and I was like, Ohh, no, you're good whatever, it's my fault. But like what was us The button didn't it's not your fault. it's the architect's fault. I like a slide and lock Okay, ready for blood lumbranine? Yes. What is the only continent with no active volcanoes? The only continent? Africa. No Is that even a continent? Yes. Asia. Well, it can't be the United States of America because Well, the United States of America isn't a continent, but well, North America, it can't be North America. Okay, you're right? Because we have Hawaii. Okay. And something's always exploding there. Pbably because Oprah Remfrey wants to slaying it allegly. allegedly. What What is it? I don't know. I've ran out of continents. Australia Okay, but they got spidterers. The size of a fucking softball. So don't go down there unless you want to get bit. Yeah, okay, anyways, go. How many teeth does the average at all have thirty seven. No twenty seven. No I don't know, thirty two. thirty two. How many zeros are in one million Six. Okaykay? Yep Which organ can regenerate itself? Well, hell The kidney. No U The liver? Yes. Okay How many fl I liver does a lot of regeneration. Okay. Yeah. How many vodka So How many players are on the field at one time for a game of NFL? Bandon don't even like sports. I do like. He can't even tell what the quarterback does Yes, I can. I throw the ball. What is the w receiver day? Receive the ball. Okay, last week you said they called the ball Or last no, last week you said the quarterback ran the ball. That's a running back. Yeah, I'm so glad you've became maybe should go to Alabama more often How many players Eighteen. Hell, that's the whole fucking team That's what I thought you met, like on the field at the same time. And one team. Oh Eight? No What? eleven? eleven. Okay. What is the tallest mammal on earth? Tallest mammal Giraffe? Yes. Okay. How many colors are in the rainbow? How many calories are in the rainbow? How many colors R over G Seven. O G Viv Okay, what is the name of the toy cowboy and tooy story I've never watched Toy Story. That is so fucked. You need a childhood. I've never watched it. You've never watched Toy Story. No. Landon, Toy Story five is about to come out. Damn, I didn't know he made it pass one. Oh please don't cancel it. Well, whoo is it? Negligence? Woody. Oh, yeah, I knew that. What is his best friend's name? Martha Buzz, Buzz lotot here? Buudz lot. You're dumber than shit Damn, Landon, that's pathetic L does she as me questions. I my brain checking YouTube. country invented pizza Italy. Yes. How many years are in a century? T. No, that's a decade. twenty. No. one hundred. Yes. You're doneb the shit. Okay, Lyon, it's my turn. No, I'm not. Yes, you are I had to throw my phone to him because he's a spugggin slacker How many animals of each kind did Moses take on the ark? Two? No. Yes, the fuck He did. How many Moses? How many animals of each kind did Moses take on the ark? Moses didn't take on the arrk it was Noah Eactly. So Noah brought two. Yeah. Moses burned the bush, bitch What's that song u the Isaac sing it And the d lines d Come on now Iing Shadright Shadwright Mck in a mininig ago. Yeah. Fourth man in the fire? Yeah. And the fourth man in the fire was who? Jesus. And that's why the rest of 'em what? didnid't burn. Correct. Keep going If an electric train is going south Which way does the smoke blow South R If an electric train is. Oh, it's electric it don't blow smoke Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. A farmer has seventeen sheep and all but nanda, how many are left Seventeen sheep and all but nand none. Yes. You've seen these. No, I haven't What gets wetter the more it draws? Ask me a real question. What gets wetter the more it draws Us You're asking me dumb questions. Ask me real questions. I ask you real questions. Ask it for more. What gets wetter? the more it dries. I don't fucking know. Yes, you do. Wetter, the more it dries No fucking clip. Twel Okay, ask me real questions What has a neck, but no head What has a neck, but no head I don't know As me real questions a bottle He's asking me stupid questions because he didn't know we need the answers to his Hold onine. I'm talking to Chati Pita. Yeah, people are gonna say we're destroying the environment because of this. Why? BeCause apparently it takes up all the water, some shit Okay, these are not good questions. Hold on Holding on again they give me more. I did and it's asking me Your chat is stupid. Okay, well ask Y chat knows who you are. Ask your So that means you're stupid Really, becauseuse you couldn't answer any the questions I gave you O burn, bititch How many hearts does a squid have? Four, three Hm. You were very confident in that. Did you know that? Yeah, I did. Kn the fuck you. Ycause I did. 'a you have it on your screen. Exactly What's the most common blood top in the United States A no. positive. no. B. No, C no. O positive. Yes Ooh, what animals's fingerprints are almost identical to humans? Gorillas. Apes Okay, well that just debunked all you fuckers that believe in evolution. Yes it did. A koala. Okay What do they eat Bamboo, yes What's the largest internal organ in the human body? Skin. No. Internal. Internal, N external. If it was external, that would be correct Liver Yes Lver's big. I don't know that. Yeah, your liver's big 'cause it's working off all the vodka What count this? What country consumes the most coffee per person? You're never gonna guess this. But just think of it dolphin or shark Country? What country consumes the m? Is a dolphin or a shark? Yeah, or a fish This is that was a really good hint. Cry. Yes. The United States. No Y'all will agree to this is. I' asked you this before What country consumes the most coffee per person The word And then I told you, The country's name, and then I told you think of a dolphin a shark I don't know The Bahamas? No, and then think of what farmers do Just tell me the fucking answer. What do farmers do? What do they have? What do farmers have a lot of Land? Yeah. What? Finlland Who theuck A That was a good. It's a landlocked country. I'm thinking of shit that has a lot of dolphins in it. I said what country consumes the most Dolphin land. Cffee. Sharkand. bititch, come on now. That was a good hint. In handansart, do you not agree that that was a g? In Hansart, but' other handanssart? What is the group of flamingos called the rple I didn't even know this. This is actually kind of funny. That's I mean h I don't know, Flamboyant What planet spends on its side? Saturn? No, Jupiter Mercury You' us. Yes Okay, you should know this one you little gof. probably How many dimples does a golf ball usually have? I don't fucking know, whoo the hell knows at fifty two No. one hundred and twenty. No. Who three hundred and thirty six. Who' the hell counts the dimples on a golf ball? Somebody did. If I ever get that board shoot What is the only continent that crosses all four hemispheres Asia No, Russia Russia iss not a continent Is Russia on Asia? Russia is not a continent. Russia iss on Europe. Europe. The USA? N. North America. N. South America. N Australia, Africa Who the fuck knew that? I don't know why I just said it like that. The wild tell I talk. The wild craats is the only people that knew that. You talk like that because that's how Shakira talks What does she say? Do this is Africa. Taminina. Is she from Africa? Wak waka Taminin this is Africa. Is she from Africa? Yes, bit, go. Oh What part of your body has the smallest bones This is the last one your fate Your hand ear There's a bone in this b. Yeah Okay, I thought it was cartilage. Okay, let's get into cousin cououncil. Okay All right everybody, welcome back to Cousin Councsel. remember if you have any submissions, confessions, anything you want to tell us, email team at bloodlineManentorofficial d. com Since cousin counsel has been sostanding and we've been wonderful in the courtroom. Inead of being appointed to the Supreme Court, Today's Cousin cououncsel segment is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan Amen So for the people. For the people. Anyways, let's get started Polly says I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years and he only showers about once a week He stinks S him. How do I tell him How do I tell him You come in and you say, hey, I was at the Walmart and they were running a sale for Soap It was buy two, get one free. So I decided to buy two and get one free. This one's for you Test it out More than your. I supp to use it five days in a row and see if it makes you smoell it or test it. Let me know how ites. Actually seven days in a row. Yeah for the rest of your life And if he doesn't, he's a liability. Yes, he is. And liabilities in the court Anyways, I have one. o My grandma refuses to use her turn signal because she says it's nobody's business where she's going. Okay, Granny. Last week, she caused a ruckus. Three cars hit their brakes And one ended up in the ditch. Grandma says it's not her fault because everybody should have been, quote, paying attention. Okay, well, Granny needs to pay more attention. Yeah. I don't know what shes going to tell Granny but the person that ended in the ditch needs to check out Morganan Morgan. They need to check out Morgan and Morgan for the people, baby. They are the United States largest personal injury law firm with more than a thousand attorneys in all fifty states plus Washington, DC And although li protity at the Cabinet, this is a submission for grandma I think it could be used for the other people For anybody. So if you find yourself in a rreck, or in any kind of situation Cck out Morgan Mark No, but I would tell grandma, it's time to be done. I would tell grandma, it's's time to get off. Give up the keys. Give up the keys. Yeah. It is you a drop Okay, last question. this comes from Isabella, this kind of a more Heartfelt question, What made you decide to become content creators? I think we've already talked about this, but this happened by accident. I posted a video one time about majoring in Starbucks cooffee and it being a natural laxative. A liability. Starbucks cooffee is a liability And you don't know if Morgan and Morgan helps with that, but I'm telling you You bend over and a screen door not even touch it. So Yeah, this was an accident for me. How about you? It was an accident for me, too. I actually started before you. I went viral sophomore year of high school. I think I was talking about a snapchat streak Or a slow No, it was not a snaptatchch strike. If you go to famamous Birthdday, it tells you that I was talking about a slow moving car in front of me. Okay. I was cropping about a slow driver So if you would have put them in the ditch, they would have had to come work to mortgage They were going to put me in the ditch. Then you would have had to come Mgan toar in. And I would have There you go Morgan and Morgan for the people and for Land and Mck and Raleigh Mitchell. Aen. anybody else that might need them that may need them and they will fight hard to get you a settlement. Will somebody do it? I man. I want somebody pising. This is a paid advertisement. What are you doing the rest of the day You' asked me that a least. don't know No I'm going go to door Dash and take a nap. I love a door dash. I love sit down and eat. you want to go to restaurants Yeah, I mean, I'm not complaining if we did. Wh where we go We won't go nowhere He' me back For oneing door dash. Take me back home Anyway, S damn. Hope you all have a good day. Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube, follow us anywhere you get your podcast, and we'll see you next Thursday. Amen, love you bye. loveove you bye