Transporting Wine and Travel Tips

This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. They can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had opened for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus. You have one new message Translating . Disney and Pixar's Hoppers is now available on Disney plus. You could say that again. Critics are calling it Pixar's funniest movie ever and a w,ildly entertain ing ride, Blizzard, potato, it's certified fresh and verified hot . Now we party . This is incredible . Wow. I am clear in the rest of the day. Disney and Pixar's hoppers now available on Disney plus Braded PG. Is it Napi's offer on? This is a bit weird to say . I kind of fancied myself myself . Let's watch that footage bag . Tracul a. April Fool . You got your good . That's a load of shit. That is throat . Hello and welcome to Bottoms Up with me, Alan Carr and Lee Peat. Yes, this is the show where each week I'm joined by reality TV star Al,an Car . Reality I love from reality star . April Falls, April . Oh . And I'm here with the very tall leaf kits you can't take it you're still tidy . No, each week we crack open a bottle, we solve your dilemmas and we try to become a little bit more sophisticated along the way, don't we varying degrees of success. And it's a very exciting episode, isn't it? Allan? Because we've listened to you. We are we're free firstly from microphones. We're radio listed.' Whats what? have they demanded , have Tim asked us to take the microphones away, so they can't hear us guys, this would be great. We couldn't hear you What we've listened to? No, no one has commented Can you take away the with micro phone? Well, if they have, they're blocked. No, no. What a lot of people have been saying apparently, and your comments are always very lovely. Thank you so much. They're saying they like it just does. And it is just us today. We've got no one . We've got desk gone missing , microphones gone missing. It's basically like an eviction . They truly all be missing . I just like sound its creepy, but I like it when it's just me and you Oh , I should light a candle . Silver bowl with a bucket of roses go, I do, I do. Yeah, we well, we hang out anyway, 'cause people think 'cause what did your mom say you said this before? I don't know. It's nice like you're an actual friend. Well, she did say it's nice to have a normal friend. I don't know offense to any of the other friends, but my mum is the benchmark for normality . It's not good . But actually what's happened, we was meant to have a guest and we're not going to name and shame who they are, but they were ill and there is a lot of illness going around. But then I remember in sick, I rang in sick at Bartley Card. Hands, it was alive. I wasn't even ill. Take that jill . But I rang up and I said, Oh , I don't feel good. I put on the voice. Don't feel good. Because it's a call center. They knew I wasn't at home. I was in Northampton. I was on my mum's landline. Oh, what they checked out? That's because it comes up. Oh one six oh four. Northampton. What are you doing in Northampton? I went Yeah I'm not really ill . You know what I used to do? I used to plant the seed. I used to think this was soap . I used to go what are you doing tonight? And I'd be going out. I'd be like ready to go out. I think this is going to be a messy one. Yes. Well, this wasn't invented that then. We will get to this, but I'd say to my manager, I'd say, Oh, I'm going to that new or you can eat restaurants , govex door. Yeah, yeah. I'd like plant the seed and then the next day. Abelikes Simon. Do you remember I said I was going to that? Or you can eat restaurant? Food poisoning. I think I've got it from the prawns . And it was classic. Yeah . Food poisoning's good because it's only a twenty four hour thing. And then sometimes in the second break when I worked at the call centre where I've been like a cup of tea I'd go well, don't feel good . Just plant the little seed. Don't go too over the top. No , don't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Don't like put some vegetable soup and too much details either. That's a recommendation. Another even say diarrhea when you have been ill, no one pushes any more what is it people say? It's coming out both ends. Yes, that's that's that slight. That's back off. No more questions. Yeah. And if you say norovirus , oh people are like oh don't come anywhere near us. Yes, yes. It's almost like the word has magical powers. I told you we solve your dilemma so if you want to ring sick 'cause you're getting over Nora virus everywhere. A twenty four hour bug, bug is good. Yeah. Yeah. Rickets, no, don't go for anything where you have to act out the illness because your legs will have to be you will. Do you know what I would fight like a coma . No, just I would fight like send a photo . You wouldn't believe what happened after that Sandu restaurant or you can eat that slicked into a cobra. The photo abuse someone's going, Allan, that's Northampson . But I quite like the listeners and the viewers to try and guess the mystery celebrity guest was gonna be and who of course that's been No because then when they come on they can confess O Yes yeah yeah no they are genuinely ill and are they Do you know what, though? You can't win because there is always that thing where you don't always believe it. Yeah . That's why I'm not saying it, but that was, you know, the upside of COVID. No one asked any questions . No. It was like you just send an old PCR test, wouldn't you and be like, sorry? Yeah I never I never was tested positive for COVID. Never, I could not get that bloody thing. It's not a game. I rubbish at this. No because you did it yet, I'd feel like shit and then I'd go, but then the thing would never . Oh, really? Then I'd have to go to work . Oh , well, we've all got problems. Well, I hate work. Spalking of which welcome welcome drink. This is and this is going to help I've had this before. Now when we went to see Beyonce and Alan you, will not have a hangover. It won't touch the size. Cut to five AM me getting on a flight to Corfu in bumless trousers and a cowboy hat. No hangover though. No hangover . No hangover . No No, it does make you sexy though . No, right. So I have been said this before. You're right. No, so okay, I'm gonna preface this with and if you're listening, let me explain. This is called pre pear, okay? And it is one hundred percent Korean pear juice, all right? Now the science behind it is expertly crafted from shingo pears grown in South Korea. And apparently the science behind this is that this has a chemical in it that breaks down the enzymes that basically accelerate your hangover being alleviated. Now I have used this before this before. Yeah . I will say it's not a miracle worker. Like if you are getting hard on it, it's you know, are you talking beanish drinking or just having maybe one glass of wine for lunch? Well, I wouldn't worry about that, like just one it depends. But basically, I mean this is full of nutrients, but apparently you drink it twenty minutes . I don't like the packaging. It looks like something you put on a drip . Well, yes, because it's meant to help you . Out, do you know what made me laugh on the website, I will say. And I have used this genuinely before. And I've actually influenced, you know, your friend, Michelle, Michelle. Yeah, she loves it. She swears by it. It is good. It tastes delicious, but it made me laugh. It says on the website and it's pocket size . Who was going cheese phone? You know you've got a problem if you're packing this with you instead of your passport But twenty minutes before having an alcoholic , before having a heavy night, basically, how's that taste? It's lovely. Nice. It's really fresh. It's lovely. Don't be nice with this. Special vodka But yeah, so prepare and genuinely it says start tonight right. Do you know anything? Why is it the pear? Why is it? Apparently it's only the shingo pair. It's this particular pair from South Korea and that has something in it that helps break down the enzymes, which then stop you know feeling because I've had it before where I've had a heavy night and I've woken up the next day and I've been like, oh, I've been a bit tired, but not hungover, hungover. Yeah. I hate that when you wake up. Sometimes you wake up and you don't have a hangover. And you know you opened up one eye and you're like , Is it safe to come out? Yeah, and you're like, Where's my hangover? Because then I used to drink lots of water , you know, but then I'd end up pissing the bed So this is probably better . Yeah , yeah. So yeah, you can save a lot on washing . Yes . The money you save on liquid tabs where you're mopping your own urine off . Oh, I'm glad you said that after I had the prepared juice. But yeah, I'm gonna piss myself now, am I with this? nineteen minutes I think we've got left before we can have a drink God, I'm gasping Time those are longest twenty minutes I've had away please please. Shall we start with a drink then? Yes. Free Per ready . Heaven, God, help you if I'm hungover. Start tonight, right? Woo . Bottoms up . It's not the same without a glass. . Cheers, bottoms up. We've got tequila lime and soda . You're putting that hair drink for a test. I know through its paces. Yeah, so it's not even. So you're going hardcore. Well, the reason I've got this is because I feel like I've got a confession. I feel like I've been putting on a bit of weight. I feel like don't look at look at this awkward . It's awkward when someone has put on weight and now what am I gonna say? Well, no, it's fine because I hate I don't like being put in this kind of position I have to tell you the truth. I can't lie to you. Go on . Hurry up, Chub by . You're not Chubby. You know, morbidly cuddly . No, because when people say I have put you haven't put on the way. Oh , this is not so normal. No , you struggle with bloat. Statistically, I have put on weight. Like statistically, yes. You stood on some scales? Yes, yes . And statistically, who was pie ch art. This is what I pie. That's what got me in this magnet. Pi erre Park a pie . No, and I hate it when people deny 'cause I yeah, I'm not fishing for compliments. I know you're not. But so you struggle with blow, you do. I do . Sometimes I see it and I go , Oof . Do you? Leigh Stop, please . And then you look svelte today. Yes. And you do look henched, can I just say? And I think you have been well been on the hench show. Yeah, I have. I'm trying to get back on it. And I'm trying to , you know, this is why I've chosen a tequila lime soda because it's a bit, you know, lower than the calories. Do they say skinny bitches? You can't say skinny bitch, my friend , but you can call me morbidly chubbly or morbidly Morbidly Abby Morchubly . That's quite chubbly . That's if you're fat and you got a great personality. he Ch'usply, yeah. It's better than bubbly, isn't it? Yeah. All right, he's chubby. Oh, he's chubby. Chubbly, chatty man. What was the saying? What was skinny bitch? You can't say Yeah, my friend said, Oh, can I have two skinny bitches? And the woman said, We don't call it here and she went and my friend who is a bit of a skinny bitch , he said I'll call it what I N want . Two skinny bitches. Bitch is a bit of a term of endearment that . Is it? From the gaze, it is, yeah, but yes, bitch, you know? Yes, queen. Oh good . And what was I gonna say? Yeah, funny stuff about fitness. I'm gonna I have a personal trainer Zipit . I have a personal trainer and he keeps getting me to do leg day and I'm just gonna say no because I've got I've got old people's hand s, I've got old people's face. I just don't want old people's legs. You know when they just got that ? Well, they say never skip like day. I'm gonna have to skip it because I'm in pain . Why? Because you struggle with your hips, don't you? What you do is that was personal medical . That was a personal medical information I told you when I was at a low end . Do you get the DOMs? The delayed onset muscle soreness? Is that what it is? I love saying that. I'm like, I've got the DOMs. Because you're all right on the table. Then you get out of bed and you're like help . Yeah. I remember every but time I do leg dating , it doesn't get any better. It hurts all the time. You're not doing it enough. You're having too much of a break between leg days. I do a couple of years in between yeah, yeah And lasted in two thousand six . Is that too big a pause? I was once in the gym. I actually gym opposite. We're in the broadcaster right now and I go to the gym opposite here. And it's quite like, and I've when I first started the gym, I was a bit intimidated and I was stood in the middle of the thing and a man quite I was clearly in his way , got hold of me rotated me out of his way like a rotisserie chicken , it just like moved me. Yeah. I never felt so emasculated in my entire life. Legs going. Oh, here we go. That's cute. This is awful. No, I know, I just was like moved out of the way. Oh, I bet you had a good man to wait and with the pink weights you were holding What do they call it the medicine ball? Did he always drop by your leat ? Okay , that's enough. So what you been up to when we didn't do it, we went to a showbiz dinner last night, didn't we? Yes, we did. And we didn't feel like going, let's be honest. No, we didn't. We didn't feel like going, but I'm glad we went because it was fun. And I think sometimes I need to, I can't sit there watching four in a bed come dining with me. I've got to get out of the house. Yeah, and I had a bit of guilt because we are, oh my God, thank God , the weather is like better now. And yesterday was a gorgeous day. And he still went sunbathing in the park , it's not that sometimes it's like bikini , bikini and shorts too much . And also beer gardens and it's getting to that because we've got a nice one and we're in between they're pups now they go with OTT, don't they? Best secret be a gun mine's not a secret be a gun. It's behind you really bins. Yes, they do say that don't like w,alk through to the secret outdoor. I'm at this like I'm in the famous five. I'm looking for the secret garden . You're in it. Yeah, it's pulling back egg in bask.et, human But your dogs trash the house as well. Yeah . I bought this is boring, but I bought a massive load of kitchen roll. I love buying kitchen roll. It was so great. Kitchen roll. Oh, you were right. Yeah. It was boring . You know, and then I foolishly left the kitchen row on the side and one of them, I think it is Rita ripped it all off and had a ticket tape . Our own police do not cross lines. Yes . She'd been rolling it around and then they must have been playing Tug of War and it was it was ruined. You should get one of those indoor pet cameras where you can check in on them. So you can see exactly 's done good. Yeah. You can talk to them. Oh, she's deaf. Oh yeah, she is, yeah. Maybe you need like a two way camera so you can be like I don't yeah, stop with the kitchen roll . But yeah, she trashed it . And then something weird happened. You know, I've got that fake coal in the fire. Rita had got one of the coals off the fire , got my note pad off the desk and wrote some material . This will go down great But then did like a little drawing . You know, that's a load of shit. That is your dog did not pick a piece of coal up. How did it pick a piece of coal? And no help to save me. Save me. owner won't take me for a walk. Bad . No, it's true. David saw it. My friend Dad, my mutual friend David, I'm gonna ring him up. Okay, get him on the phone. Hello, he's going . He was not the guest who was he? No, he wasn't, he wasn't . I'll bring him up now. Okay, go on, then did happen, it did happen . Okay . You got a signal . I'd love it if he's like, Who is this? He's not picking up. Well, he probably knows. So it's April Fools today. Yeah. Are you a fan of April Fools? I always thought 'cause and it used to be that thing as well at school where it was like two minutes past twelve. Huh? You're the fall? 'Cause it's got to be before midday, hasn't it? Have you ever had an an Antonck De one ? Did you ever get pranked by Anton Deck? Oh, I say to my aid, if I get pranked. No Oh is that the hill you'll die on? Yeah, I'm not gonna get pranked no. My life's mad enough for disease people laugh. My life is a prank. My life isn't one big prank. I mean, you don't even believe my dog can draw. Oh, I know, with God. Folger, talking of April Fool's pranks laughing. Last one laughing. The final is tomorrow. Yes, I know, I know. Now don't spoil it. Yeah because it's a worrying thing. Yeah, you can watch it whenever so people might not have seen it. I'm just so pleased because I absolutely loved the first one. Well I hope you don't mind me saying you were quite nervous about it. Weren't you? Like you were because it was going against the thing with comedians, as you know, is like, we need that instant validation of going if that's funny, you laugh. So taking away their one piece of like vital feedback , it was it difficult. And it is strange. You're in there and I mean, it's very tense. Bob said this one, second one was more tense than the first one because I think everyone adored the first series and I was like, Oh no, you don't read that difficult second album or it's not funny and people like but I'm so relieved that the reviews have been amazing and everything and I watched it back because I rang up my agent when I came home , I said, Oh my God, it's a turkey. It's awful. I haven't, you know, and I know you're not meant to make it that's the thing. But just as a performer, you felt so when you watch your bat, you realize there was loads of funny bit. Without giving anything away, did you have a like an Achilles heel? Was there one person before going in there? When you saw them walk in, you thought, Oh God. Well, Diane Morgan? Yeah, she said. I mean, she was so dead pound. Yeah. She took that face and she was just like yeah in that minute and then obviously Bob Mortimer. But Mel would look like a constipated tortoy. She'd go you have to do that you have to come up with a saying I was like Linda Robson . So I just channel Nanny Linda. What? Nanny Linda, that's what we call that. Oh, you're crying again. Nanny Allen or not you are, you're crying at Linda Robson. Look at the tears in his eyes. April Fool . You got your good at this button button up This segment is brought to you by Sky Ultimate TV . What do I have to do around here to get a drink, Barman? Well, you know, I love a cocktail and we were watching Telly the other night and I said to you , I want to make you a cocktail. All right, we want to branch out from wine and make you a delicious margarita. I like a margarita. We love a margar. Now I'm doing the simple recipe. You've got tequila, you've got triple sec and you've got lime, all right? We're gonna do fifty millilit of tequila. We're gonna do twenty five millilit of triple sec and twenty five millilit of lime juice as well. If you want it a little bit more sugary, you can add a little bit of sugar syrup as well. All right . So let's start with this. We're gonna do lime juice first. I'm cheating a little bit. I've got carton lime juice, but you can you should really squeeze your owns. You see, I would never do that. I would use fresh lime. Well, good if I ever did make the door again margarita. I just can't stand the faff easy. You just open the bottle there it is. Look at all this you've got a business rewarded simplicity. So we've got twenty five millilit, but I've done fifty of that because I'm making two. Triple sec, fifty mil of triple set here for you, twenty five mil each, there we go, lovely stuff. And like I said, this is a simple cocktail just balance , so you're not fapping around. I wish my TV setup was as simple as that, Margarita. What do you mean? Well, I've got one app for this, another app for something else. By the time I decide what I want to watch on the telly. I need to lie down. It's too complicated. It's not easy, is it, babes? It's not easy. I know, and I spend half my life looking for something to watch, and I don't know where to find it. Well, guess what? Sky have basically made their own cocktail of television, just like this margarita, all right ? Because Sky Ultimate TV have basically blended it all together . You get Sky, you get HBO Max, you get Disney Plus, you get Netflix, and you get Hey U in one subscription. Time to shape So no FAF, no fath at all. It's just all in one place for you. Absolutely brilliant. Just like this margarita. And no juggling seventeen subscriptions. Not at all but just the one. Well, what should I watch though? Well, oh my god I've, been really loving Sky Saturday Night Live, UK. Yes. Oh, what about Bridgeton on Netflix? Did he plus the Bear? Oh yes, love that one. Hey you below deck. Oh and HBO Max, the pits I'm all there. You spoiled for choice babes. And like I said, just like this margarita, it's simple , it's perfect and it's easy to do. No fuss , no fath. Do you know what? You've made this look very easy. I might even make one of these. Cheers, cottons up , simple ingredients , perfectly blended together. You can taste the cartoned lime . If you want the world's best TV all in one place, then all you have to do is head to sky dot com and check out Sky Ultimate TV. I think we should drink to that. Bombs up . So each week, as you may know, if you've watched or listened to this before, we solve your wine dilemmas. Before we do that , let me ring up David. Oh, okay. Is it about playing on my mind? Oh God , I'm thinking I'm a liar. It's not very nice to be called a liar. Okay. Hey, it's not very nice to be lied to. So let's see . For anyone who doesn't know, this is actor David Ainz, our lovely friend. Hello David. David, you're live on bottoms up, please do not swear . I've just been branded a liar , okay , this is meant to be putting my mind at rest. Can you right? Okay, so listen. So do you remember when you were dog sitting , Rita and didn't we come home and she had taken a coal off the fire and did a drawing? Yes. And you still have it in your desk drawer. It's in one of your notebooks and it was opened and she had taken coal from the fire in the lounge upstairs and it literally looked like she had been doing drawings like Jack in Tag Panic She's a very clever dog. At you like one of your French bulldogs about that . Okay, you're going in a tunnel now . Thank you, David. Thank you Yes, you thank, David, bye. Well, that's awful for me. I found out two of my friends are liars. I'm gonna ring someone else who's in the room. I'm gonna ring I'm drawing this off . Right. I was sorry I ever doubted you. Please bring the drawing in next. I'm going to bring the like show and tell. Yes, yes . She's a very clever dog. Anyway, Coach, so this is a dilemma. Yeah, this is a show in Telavas. We've got some wine dilemmas each week . We solve your questions, your queries, your dilemmas, at bottomshow, if you want to get in touch with us, or bottoms up at listen .co . uk we've all been there. We've been in the supermarket or you're online. Which wine do I get? And listen, you know, cost a living crisis. People want cheap wine these days. They do indeed and this well this one this one's from Madison. I love the name Madison. It's quite a cool name, isn't it? Madison It says Hi my darlings, Alan and Lee. I'm twenty five and Norwood, but anyway I'm twenty five and love an affordable bracket's cheap. They say that these days it's not cheap, it's affordable . Fruity, rose or white, however, I have many friends at least thirty years my senior who have a, let's say, more expensive wife. Why is she hanging around with a load of old people ? Why carer for fifty five year olds. Probably not. Look at me. I don't do this shit. I know . I just don't where's the time going? So they've got she says that they've got a little bit more of a sophisticated palette for rich old people. Yeah, exactly. I'd love to know some wines Rose or White that I can take to our next party to impress them. Ones that scream, I know my wines, but ones my affordable taste buds will also enjoy. So Madison hasn't yet kind of moved on, you know, she hasn't leveled up graded her taste buds. No. Okay, so it's going to be tricky. You don't want your friends going . She's got little taste buds a waitrose palette. Exactly no well no little taste buds with waitrose friends Yeah so she doesn't want to go and they're like, Madison , you don't know anything. You're so young, you're so naive. You're so young Madison . I'm fifty of you . What was your young drinks, think back. Well, it's a I made mead ow. I used to like black tour. I used to think I was it if I drank black tour. The thing is it sur'psrising that we still drink because I mean it was awful. Mad dog twenty twenty disgusting. I used to like a cider a scrumpy. Oh, a scrumpy pine a scrumpy scrumpy jack. I used to like a malibu. Cider and bay ? No . Kay cider? No, six percent. I used to like a malibu. I used to drink malibu and Coke . Really? Yeah, and I don't really like coconut. I don't know why I liked that. I once had malibu and milk I know it sounds gross but it was quite nice. Come off it. Come off Malibu and milk. Like you google malibu and milk, it was classed as a cocktail.s Let' haves that as a welcome drink. Let's have that as a welcome drink. Bala Boo and milk for the next one. That is disgusting . The bowl of boo and milk. Oh, I don't really drink milk anymore. I'm an oak kind of guy. I've got any way, back to Madison Breaking News . Okay, so from page one So listen, okay, so this is Mirabelle, mind you, that's not cheap, is it? That's expensive. So yeah, this is studio by Mirror Val ue. It's cheaper than Whispring Angel, isn't it? Yeah, and this is actually because Mir Val is the more expensive one. This is Studio Buy Mir Val which is slightly more affordable. Oh that's good. So you can have all the taste and it's so it's a bit yeah like it's a kind of gateway one. It's a Provence Rose. It's the classy rose character. You can't go wrong with it if you're wanting to appear chic at a party which, is exactly what Madison is doing. Life's got to bite it. I've been bitten, maya . Oh yes, you have. Who's bitten you? Someone's not human bite . I know I can be dizzy, but if someone was biting my face, they normally know. Yeah, and he would catch it on camera. Yeah. Let's watch that footage back . It's miraculous . Is there that bite? Yeah, it looks like it's yeah it's off you opened your ballet Yes it is oh god well let's keep an eye on that. So if my hair weren't receding , that would be covered up. That's crap being old. I think you'd be fine. You've got a rose out medicine . Okay, so could I just have a malipu and milk? Broke . Hey, listen, you like this. Who owns Mirabel ? Brad Kit. Who is aging he is he must have had some work to win surely. Yeah . So even if you don't know why how old is he seventy ? Seventy. No, he's old, he's getting old love. Someone please check how old Brad Pitt is. I'm sure he's not seventy. He must be like fifty nine sixty. Do you want an interesting fact? Yeah. Rita did a drawing of Brad Pitt . Does she know how old it is it in this gallery? Brad Pitt, charcoal witter . One out of one . Would you when was the fittest Brad Pitts during? I think I know seven . No, it's either Mr. Mrs. Smith or Troy . Oh yes , yes. I probably said that a little too quickly, didn't it? No. You didn't even think about last quite revealing. I like you with the air and stuff with the short hair and yeah, it looks good then. That's a good twist seven with Grinnif Patrow's ed in a box spoiler alert. How nice? How old is it think can I say I keep thinking I want to get a buzz cut What's funny about that? I just wonder what I'd look like with like a proper buzz cut, but it's quite worrying. It's like sometimes I shave. I think I'm gonna shave my beard off and I always look weird. I wouldn't have a buzz cup, really? A half way pixie cup? Yeah, maybe or a mullet. Grow it out and go get a mullet. You see that? So pissed off. You could you've got options with hair. I haven't got I haven't. Yeah , you could dye it Great . And you've got you know, you've got you accessorize it with a bite . Your hair's got bites , right? Well, listen, I've had loads of this before. Yeah, it is loud. And I think this is good and also it comes from a class seed. Yes. And Brad Pitt made it. Well yeah. Well I don't think he made it but that could be good if he actually got in yeah but basically this is the studio by Mirabel you.' Sove got that kind of sophisticated one where you lie because Madison's probably as well, you know, I'm not casting aspersions, but she's probably not got , you know, as much disposable income, which suggests from a dilemma she has,n't. Then these fifty five year old friends have hers. Yeah, yeah. So okay, this is a good one. It's delicious as well. Yeah, very nice. Move on to Val . La Val. I bet some of her old friends are probably called Val . Yeah , love . Ey al Val from your name on this . From Mirabal to Val . So this is the Alberinio good with fish apparently. And it's basically this says I've moved beyond basic Sauvignon Blanc because that's a bit everyone goes for subye, don't they? Yeah. Alberino sounds impressive, but tastes super approachable. It's estey,z it's peach y, it's citrusy, basically Sauvignon Blanc's cooler cousin. Your line to at press at the party would be I've been really into Spanish wines lately , particularly coastal wine which pairs amazingly with food. Are they going to believe Madison when she says that? If I know Madison and I don't want to, you don't. If I know Madison , if you don't know Madison No, like she's not is it a Madison thing to say ? What? This goes nice with fish. I didn't even know this woman. I didn't say that. Did you say? Are you listening to a word? I'll say really What are you wondering about? I've been saying I know Madison, you don't . What's wrong with you ? It says here the line to use would be I've been really into Spanish wines . You know, I ate wives this is lovely. This is lovely. It is actually really nice, this . But I don't know, la Val . That's the thing they might go M m. La val. brought me friend. Val itself. It sounds like French for value, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah , a bal. So basically Alberino is the grape variety Spanish and it's like a sauvignon blanc , but you're kind of elevating above that. So if you like a Sauvignon Blanc you'd go for it for this is nice. I can see this going out and it's not overpowering and it's not clacky. Well, I prefer that to a Sauvignon Blanc because I wouldn't usually go for that. So should I go in? So if I went into a restaurant or can I have an alberino . It would be this kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, that's good to know. Yeah, because you know, I'm like a little Rosie Rose kind of guy, but yeah, I'd have that. And she'll sound instantly knowledgeable and well traed. She'svell leveled up a little bit with her friends there. So that's the Laval Alberinio. That's actually thirteen pound as well. So that's pretty good. That's good, isn't it? All right, then finally we have the Chably . This says I know French wine but you're still approachable. Chablis gets instant apparently respect from the elders , the elders . And his crisp citrusy and slightly see, I wish you hadn't said about the scene of friends because I'm just imagining her she's going like they're all going daisy daisy you're out for do. Have you seen that footage on TikTok and they go? Hello everyone. Having a good time. Can I can we just talk about that? There's TikTok people and they come in and it's always some dare I say it's some campman just performing to these , you know, people in nursing homes and you can tap some of them aren't enjoying it. Some of them are not enjoying it. I know, I know. And it's like, It's nice to meet you , you want them in a head. And they're just like like it's, stop this, madness. Yeah, yeah. I just want to play scrabble. I know. And then I just get out the way of the telly and watch the ocean come down with it. Yeah, simply pulled son. I want to watch Ben Shepherd, not you . And also, can I , you know, I'm much older than you, but can I just say When I do eventually lose my marbles , don't come round and film me and put it on social media. Why? Why? To be on the funnier the views . I hate that when they're like that and hello and all this is stop filing. Bit of dignity at the end. Yeah, yeah, of course. I promise to do that. You've got that on you got that on camera . April fourth . Right, come on, this is a chablay. Got a Paul Madison 's probably their age by now . The friends had died . Stop being . That's man . Can I just pull you up on something When you say things right, you have a habit of saying these outrageous things , then saying to me , stop it now . You said it's called deflection. Oh good, one. So Chablay, French wine. He's still approachable. It gets instant respect. Like I said, crisp, citrusy, slightly mineral, but not too heavy. Now your face is saying you're not into that. All right. Not into that. Okay, well Madison's line at the party would be, I've been getting into Chablis recently. It's unoaked. I was gonna say unplaked then. It's unoaked. Chardonnay, so it's much fresher. You're not massively keen on a shout now. No, I think you know what, for me, I think LaVal . Really? Even though I don't like the font or the labels. And this is a big thing for you not to choose a rose. This is close to pronounce. This is yeah. This is plot twist. Yeah, I think La Val because Madison's still gonna get that kind of taste from the Saubignon Blanc style which is just going a little bit up. So I would I would do that. But actually they're they're all really tasty , but I think, you know, this gets I mean Brad Pitt, he gets enough press. Yeah, that he's got enough money without Madison having to fund it. So I think LaVal popped that round there like that as an albarigno, yeah , perfect Spanish. Spanish, here we go, La Val cheers, Madison. Bottoms up. Bottoms up, Madison . Guess what ? This week , we've got a bonus dilemma. Should we do a jingle? Bonus dilemma bonus dilemma, bonus dilemma , bonus dilemma That was a bit less than dormer then. I frightened myself Ness and Dormat . Dormant affronted myself. You always sing opera on this podcast. Do I? Yeah, it's a thing . Not again. Okay , come on. Hi boys . Okay, be yondward. Oh, this guy's called Lee Oh God. I wonder if he's a n arcissist as well. What was it? I said the other day. Meta, Instagram, have done this weird thing now with reels . So you can put up a reel and it said would you like to translate, Uz i and translate your real different language? Yes. I said, Yes , came up. It was me talking in Spanish. Yes. And this is a bit weird to say , but is it odd? I kind of fancied myself . I was like, Spanish me is like yeah it upset me that I'm not Spanish . So Leon Bret , I always wanted to be called Bret . I love that name . Sorry , read the diagram. Should we get back to their problems? Me and my husband Bret are in Cape Town. I wore a cape once It's a long shall I please get to the end of this ? Me and my husband Bret are in Cape Town at the moment and we are obviously going to bring lots of wine back in our suitcase. Good. Any top tips for transporting wine back without it smashing. I've heard of using nappies before but we don't have any kids. Ooh. Haha, love the pod . Lovely ambret t. Well, firstly, I think it might be a bit weird if people know you don't have kids and they spot you in the supermarket buying nappies. Yes. People might be like, What are you? doing That's gonna take up a lot of space if you do put nappies in there. And nappies are expensive. I would always put sometimes I would shove a bottle in like a shoe so like , you know, and then I'll wrap it in something without it smelling. What about they pop the nappy on and then put the wine down the front of the nappy ? Great idea , they get as far as the airport to security and it would be taken from them. Okay , so that's probably not gonna work. He's bad enough being told to remove your shoes and belt right like you say you'rea Nppy off Could you imagine is it Nappy's off or on? Yes , I've never heard that. Well, I'm gonna learn I'm going to teach you something now. Okay . We all like words, don't we? Love them. So if I said to you , Pop a little fiasco in your suitcase. You've told me this before. I can't remember. Back in the day in the fifteenth, sixteenth century, when Mona Lisa was around, you would have a cart and then you would put wrapper around the wine that was called the fiasco Because when the if the cart tipped over all the chaos would ensue and you'd have a fiasco. Oh, I love that. That's a fiasco. That's right. Bretley, pop a fiasco ? Yes. Absolutely. Get some fiasco in your suitcases, pop them round or maybe a pop sock, would you wear pop sock? I think wrap in towels or and also put them like underneath. So you can actually like in Cape Town, we have some transported bag. Do you remember when you accidentally almost had well, I was pissed and they to be fair, they needed to make it bit more. I ordered quite a lot of bottles of wine, but I ticked the wrong box and it was olive oil. Yeah. you nearly ended up with a hundred bottles of olive oil. How pissed off would I be ate olive oil? Oh, apparently there's a bra that can hold a bottle of wine. This is similar to the Napas one with a straw in the strap to sit from No, no, no. You know what my mum used to do? She used to when she used to go to the cricket, she'd probably be well. She'll actually, she was proud of herself for this. They wouldn't ever let you take drinks back in the day. Take your own drink to the cricket. And she was like, they charge astronomical prices there. So my mum always won for a bargain, that you were allowed to take sealed soft drinks so she would pierce a hole into it. Oh my god for about three days eleven No. Three days solid she would filter out the orange juice and then in. Oh, synopsis on the day she would build up. Oh, she was building up to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She planned it. And then she resealed it. Re sealed it. And then as she sit that pims , she tasted better Tasted it got one down with the system. She'd beaten the system. Exactly. And that always tastes better. Barber at your moment. She really is. Stay by the rules. I like it. We should get her on. No, I shouldn't really drink wine . Anyway, doesn't drink wine. I'm sure you're not adopted . You sure you're sat . Or listen, Lee and Brett, I've got the answer. Drink the wine ? Yeah Yeah., just drink it. Just drink the wine. Don't bring it home. Drink it. Then you've got a suitcase full of space in your suitcase full mouse mat, fridge magnets. Exactly. And as ever, always do remember to drink res ponsibly . You're wearing a bra . When you're popping on your nappy, drink responsibly I've been fully impressed. I think we've done that. I think who needs an expert when you've got ? Yeah, bottoms that happy on the If you've enjoyed this episode of Bottoms Up, well , join us next week where we'll be talking to an actual real life butler who's gonna tell us everything about butlering . Nice. Is that the official term for it? With Haskin, butlins Also, he's going to be telling us etiquette how to pour wine correctly, how to drink it, looking sophisticated, how not to spill it down yourself and much more. So we want to hear from you. And don't forget to follow us on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcast, because every week a new episode of Bottoms Up will be dropping and we'd love you to listen and watch along. If you do want to get in touch, please do email us bottoms up at listen.co. uk or on social's at bottoms up show . And don't forget to leave us a review . Thanks for listening guys. This has been bottoms up with Alan Carr and Lee Pierd and it's a listen production . Bums up