Solving Listener Dilemmas

I will never wear a dog or an outfit again. They rule the day. Yes . Team Kmax for me. Who's laughing now ? But we then ended up at a Mary Poppins off to show this I'm going this is too gay Saturday, Saturday My Pums are a crusade. I'm not this episode of Bottoms Up is brought to you by California Wine, the perfect combo of sun drenched vineyards and the cool breeze of the Pacific Ocean. California offers wine that is fresh, approachable, and easy going , bit like me . Approachable and easy going, Allen, you scream when you pop a cork and you kick off when you have to pour your own wine. I can't believe I got that Semelier fired on Christmas Eve, but he did look me in the eye. California is all about creating wine that's delicious, relaxed, a story behind it and made by interesting people. It's wine with lots of personality. We love that, don't we? We absolutely love it. It is dreary in the UK at the minute, isn't it? All right. So we could all do with that California sunshine. So my best tip is pour a glass , close your eyes, whack the heating on, and you can pretend you're in California. And you could even pair it with one of your favorite meals. Carbonara, California wine, Curry night. California wine. Packet of crisps on the sofa with your PJs on . California wine . Exactly. So treat yourself, invite your mates r and spoundread a little bit of that west coast cheer. No stress, no snobbery, just great wine, and great times. So why don't you share some of that California wine today? And don't forget to drink responsibly. Go to drinkaway.co. UK for more info . Bottoms up . Hello and welcome to Bottoms Up with Alan Carr and Lee Pitt. It is our weekly wine show. If you haven't watched it already, what are you waiting for? Go and catch up . We're uncorking bottles, aren't we? We're demystifying the world of wine. We're doing a good service to the people of the world. Yes, aren't we? If you don't drink wine, don't worry about it. You can just join for the gossip, for the dilemmas, people have been solving loads of them, haven't we ? Yes. And having a good old catch up along the way. But before this, I need to say this the sparkle in the air. I can't believe it. I can't believe what's happened. Yes , I got a package sent to my house from drum roll. Oh , my tip . Oh, I didn't graze against all that's not in the risk assessment, is it? No . I need you sliced me nipple off. Okay I need a drink. Yes, well, you do. And who sent you? I love a hamper and now I'm gonna have to get up. Okay, that's fine. For those listening, Alan has just sliced his tit on the chair and he's now even happened. Carrie I love a hamper. Don't you think a hamper? I was just Well, I haven't opened it. So it's from Elton John. Oh slang. I know well yes. So I don't know. I've never looked inside. It might no. I do love it. You can't like not name drop when it is from Elton John . I haven't even looked inside so he might be a twit, it might be a dead guinea might be yeah . What's that film seven? Couldn't Gwynnepaltrow's head . It is . No, it's oh Elvin John . He signed it. What's he say? Read it out. A letter from our home to yours . Dear Allen , in Byro . We're so pleased to be sharing a bottle of Elton John Zero with you, N orth Percent, okay, nor no alcohol. Cheer up . I sent it to the right person Alan Titchmash . No, and he says, please enjoy it . Norperson quality Elton and David furnished. Oh , so this is his new his new sparkling. Hundred percent sure. Oh, it's fat. It's very Elton, isn't it? Yeah, it's sparkly . So pale golden with fine persistent bubbles, apparently. Oh, it's got it's got all the product details here, one hundred percent chardonnay. It says you can pair this with a grilled sea bass with lemon parsley and a drizzle of olive oil oil. Open, look at that, even that looks parcel test the parcel, isn't it? There's more and more and more, I love it . Oh, also , low calorie and vegan and vegetarian friendly. Oh, it gets better better and. Do you know when this would be nice to have this? Saturday Salad I'll all be gold So have you met Elsa? I've been to his house in Windsor . Okay, so didn't you also ring your house when you were a kid or something? Yes, because my dad my dad was a football manager and he sold a er to Watford Football Club. Yeah . And then my mum picked up the phone and he went, Hello, can I speak to Graham? And she went, He's out, who's this? He went, It's Elton. Elton John rang up my house in North ampton. How amazing is that? Did your mum believe him? She didn't believe him, but then you know what weird? She also spoke to Robert Maxwell 'cause he was 'cause he's chairman of Oxford . Okay. And then she spoke to him on the Friday , he was dead by the Monday. What did she say she say? I had a swim . He was on the boat. She rang it and then she said, Mum, what did you say to Robert Maxwell? He's dead . She went, I was only my mum I was speaking to him only last Friday. The only time you spoken to him. Your mum was the last person potentially to speak to Robert . Yes . But I find it suspicious . Yes. Oh, look at this. This is and then I did it smells amazing. 'Cause I do stuff for charity, which I don't like to talk about as you know, but I've done stuff for his AIDS foundation. Oh yeah. And then I headlined a gig and he played the piano at the end and all the acts came on and he singing Saturday and all his hits like that and I'm still standing and I'm there. And I didn't know he even knew I existed and he's playing piano and he went, Allan, I'm your dad . Oh, that's a flat. So surreal. Yeah, 'cause I was always like you ever met Elton John? I've never met Elton John . I'm trying to think. I did date his art curator It's not the same, though it's not quite meeting . It's not quite the same. But I was always like he was one of the people that I really wanted to see live, and I saw him at the Grove Norton show when he was on with you with Brendan Carlisle and we love a new Besy Mate. Yes, cheers. Let's have it. It smells amazing.. Bloody love And this is good. If you ever want a celebration, you're not drinking, if you're pregnant or you just if you off the booze, perfect. This is so lovely. Really refreshing. Yeah, yeah. Really nice. Delicious. Elderflower kind of spritsy thing isn't it? I never thought I'd be saying this, but thank you Elton. Thank you. Thank you Elton . Well, listen, we've got a fantastic special guest now. I will say and I'm not just saying this. He's one of my favorite people. Yes. He genuinely is. I'm very excited. And comedian, presenter, actor Yes soon to be in the web one of our favorite shows. How many times have we seen that show? We love it. Yeah, it's amazing and he's gonna be a West End star. It's the one . It's the only round of applause please. It's Top little something . I didn't like to arrive empty hand. Oh my god, let me move this for you. What was it later at one time? Where are you? When I wanted to be a butler when I was a child. Of course. Of course you did. I do here. Oh my God, you learn . Oh , look at me. He still got it. Oh got it. He's on the verge of having to find another job. It's taken you forever to make this gun . It was absolutely. I was the chair if anybody's listening. That was the I was spray painting this gold leaf onto this orange for hours before I got here. It's been a real labor of love. Cheers all shaking, desperate to get our first drink in this. I am shaking. That's the thing, isn't it? No, but I always find with these delicate glasses, I'm gonna save you. I shake with them because I'm always a bit like, is that good? What is it? Tell us everyone shakes a bit, apparently. Everyone shakes a bit A doctor told me that. This is punch all la Roman . And it's a palette cleanser that was served to the first class passengers on the Titanic for their just before their final dinner. So it's white rum, egg white, orange juice, lemon juice, syrup, and topped off with champagne. So this might have been the last drink some people add on the Titanic. On the Ty Danic. Cheers everyone bottoms up. Imagine the irony. We can have some ice in it . Have you been to the immersive Titanic exhibition? In Belfast? No , there was one that came to London. It was no I canary wolf. Oh, I canary wolf. Yeah. And I put a VR headset on and I was walking around like I was on the deck, but it was embarrassing because I screamed because I turned r andound there's somewhere and screamed and they were like, It's not a horror. But it was in the air. Yeah, it was the museum in Belfast, you must have been there on tour and it celebrates the Titanic. I was like, . Well, for people who don't know why we're randomly talking about the Titanic, there's a reason you bought it because this is so exciting. When this got announced, I was like I mean Tom Allen is starring in Ty Technique. All right , tell us a bit about it for people who don't know what Ty Tenique is. I'm joining the company and I must say as well it's very much an ensemble piecewear. Let me tell you those those singers, performers I'm coming in with. I am so bold. So star trek, they're amazing performers, incredible singers. The show is a spoof of the film Titanic, and it's told as though Celine Deon was actually on board the ship . So it's not camp. So it's a very I would say it's a butch musical . It's one for the dad who was definitely what? But you know, you can go with your football maid . If you were looking for something you and the lads to do, no the lads would be very welcome. But I mean, who doesn't love Celine Dion song? So it's basically Astrid Harris is playing Celine Dion. She does such an amazing impersonation of her , and then the story of the Titanic is retold through Silicon Dion's extensive back catalogue. Because I've seen Titanique so many times we actually went to see it with you did. Yes, so I told you to go and see it in the first place. We had dinner afterwards, didn't we? Yes. 's with your friend Angelica Bell. No, it wasn't Angelica Bell. It was your friend Adelle, was it Adele ? It was a demon it was . She played Gail Tuesday Tuesday. Yeah, it was a lovely time. The thing with Ty Technique is you can watch it on so many levels. It's so amazingly camp It's but then you can also just if you've got no sense of humor, you can just enjoy some amazing singers singing the best Celine Dianzo. And they really like blast it out and like they are amazing. Like Charlotte Wakefield, one of the greatest musical theater voices . And she's just there playing Molly Brown, the unthinkable Molly Brown, but you know, like all her song, like all by myself, she sings . And just amazing, just incredible. And the band's there., it's wonderful And it's like joke after joke after joke. So I've been seeing it twice already. I know you guys saw it . Yeah. The jokes are they're like aplane, you know, the other one of the other. So it's like thirty rock or something. You have to watch it again just to get them all. So I'm so delighted that they've asked me to join them. Adelle had a Titanic fight and I went dressed as the unsinkable Molly Brown because you had to go as a character. Oh, that's perfect there. And I bumped into Tom Ford, you know, Google Mann. I know Tom Ford. Isn't who you come as? I said, I'm the unsinkable Molly Brown. He said, Oh, you'd sink . Oh so I boycott Gucci now . Yeah. Yeah, and you know what? It's shown. It's right here shown there. I will never wear a cumbers out again. They rule the day. Yes . She came back for me. Who's loving now ? We met years ago. I've always been I've always loved you, Tam. Is don't want to start licking your ass or anything like that, but like a different podcast bottoms up . I genuinely do. And we met so we met we did a gay gig, didn't we? qu Ae quereer night as they call it these days it wasn't back in the day. It was LGBT back in the Diego wasn't it where it's where do we stand on queer ? Well, I've queer yeah, I know because queer used to be an insult didn',t it didn'?t It it? I think queer is a bit easier to say. I mean, lazily, I just think it's easy just to say one word. Yeah, we're queer. Yeah. But do you find it offensive? I imagine you must have had that shout that you called that yeah . I've got a homophobic computer from Tom Ford . That's how campier. And they turn on their own. That's the trouble with gays. They turn . Obviously, I don't condone homophobia , but when I came out What do we mean book ? No, I came out as celebrity traitors and someone shouted Oi cloaklifter which are photographed homophob ic. But I'll let you have that. Yes, it's quick. Yeah, finally 'cause we do love our combat. We do love a quick wit. Very witty, that van driver was very witty. Very witty. Great in there. Oh, a cloak lifts off . But we then ended up at a Mary Poppins after show ing now. This is how I'm going. This is Toe. And they were all it was Mary Bobbins was on tour and we have thoughts I love gay crash party. I wanted to know how you two met. When did you two first meet? We first met, I think through Susie when you very kindly came and did like minded friends Susan and I still soldier on the podcast that was ten years ago actually it's probably to day ten years ago. Then we have got something in common me and Tom Same birthday. Yes. And who else did you share that with the late Great Paul O'Grady and Boy George and Donald George who has invited me. Maybe he's invited you to a party. Oh, yes, I've even go to Margaret. May it Mari Lago. Mar Lago. Yes, yes, yes. No. Yeah, when you see Trump, I don't see any of our qualities . Well, he 's been booked with the celebrity traces ideas. What a surprise? I don't see that we have a lot in common. I don't know because I think we're quite similar when I see a Paul O'Grady, you know, comedy and boy, George has got that kite catty fun . Yeah, but I can't imagine Donald Trump being a laugh for minute like that. No, definitely not. So I want to ask as well. So how do you genuinely feel about you're going into a show, like you because you've acted before, haven't you? Well, a little bit here and there, Leez. But like, what's it like? Are you in the rehearsal room? Like what's that? At the moment you're having quite intense singing lessons because all the vocals are in harmony. So it's quite a new challenge for me to meet. So Richard Cooper, my singing teacher, shout out to him, has been very patient and very nice. Because there are bits where you can freestyle, can't you with your character? Because I was there and then they named checked me and Amanda . And then I went and you were there with Amanda? Yes. So you have to think on your and then he went Oh my god I had to have I had a free hour nap. I went and saw Devil Wears Prad a. So he was quite happy about other shows. So are you going to be well I suppose in the first few days ? I should be just quite nice the first few days. But after that, maybe I'll be a bit more . What's the word? But I think I mean the sense is Ruth, who's the mother of Rose, the part I'm playing, is she's quite unhinged because in the film she's just this like sort of one note like any pad is like old bag and a tattoo birds on her head or something. Well, in the show, she does, but having watched the films everyone does. The character comes from nowhere. You're watching it, you're going to Titanic the film. I was with my friend. I mean, she must li haveve here. Was it Amanda Holden.? No it was not It wasn't a dad. It wasn't a dad waiting to find out who it is. No, it was my friend Julie. Oh, okay. And I was really surprised because we're watching it on Christmas Day title and she must be the only person in the world who doesn't know the tit anic story . And when the iceberg was shown, she went, oh that's don't look good . No shit. I've got a funny feeling. Wait a minute heading straight for the ship. Apparently, if they had gone straight into it rather than trying to swerve, it wouldn't have swerved faster. Yeah, if you'd have just walked like parallel park next to it Yeah. Certainly they'd reverse. Yeah. Look at So maybe that should be your ethos for the show. You just plough straight through it. Oh yeah, maybe that's a good bit of it. Thank you. That's pretty much the role, really, is that she just kind of and this is the first, is this the first West End show you've been in? Yes, yeah, really, yeah. So I mean, I feel like I say, very honored to be joining such a brilliant cast. So what's your favorite Celine Dion song? Well, now having been singing through all of them in quite a lot of depth , something like I Surrender actually is sort of sticking out. Oh yes. I like that one or an hour jump. I like it all coming back to me now. 'Cause you know, I've met Celindy on. Oh, go on. That was a nice joke. I met it at home. What ? He said it's all coming back to him now. It's nice. I just wanted to do it. Is it a joke? Stop it . I'll take it If Tom Allen says it is, I will take it. Yes. I met Celine. She's funny. She's really funny. Oh, she has this kind of she talks a bit like rout cho marks. She's like, Hey, how you doing? During the show you got a cigar as well. I love this kid . Were you Starstruck? So Starstruck. I'm the biggest Selene Dion film. Oh, I didn't know that. Have you ever been Starstruck? You must. I once met Jane Asher . And wow. Yeah. What's she like in real life? Well, she's a lot like Ratto Mark. Jane Asher. Why am I cate? Easter Day Balmagadia, that's why I'm a gun . Like the best literary couples, a good audiobook goes fabulous with a nice glass of wine. Kathy and Heathcliff, Romeo and Juliette, passionate, unforgettable , and slightly doomed. A bit like me and Lee . Yes, it is the bottoms up audio book club. So I've got an audio book for you. After the success of last week's episode with our book club, how are you getting on with your listening journey . I'm listening to Bob Mortimer's audiobook. Oh, that's good. I always think an autobiography is good because you hear themselves. It's like, yeah, he renarrates it himself. He's so funny. He's got a real turn afraid. And what a life he's. added So when I'm walking the dog, I pop it on, yeah, listen to him. It's great. Well, with Amazon Music Unlimited, you get one free audio book every month. So if you've got your music already, you get the perk of a free audio book. It's all in one place so you've got your music, your podcasts and your audio book. So check it out. Shall I pause please? I'm gasping. Okay , so I'll just explain. Right. I was we like a little bit of a YouTube pole, don't we? We sometimes go into a bit of a YouTube poll. But the other day, I don't know what happened, but my algorithm was serving me up a bit of game of thrones content, all right? I was watching clips of that and I was like, I want a like romantic fantasy novel. It's called The Wolf King . You do like Animals? Wolf? Yes, I like animals. I do. So this is The Wolf King. It's written by Lauren Palfreyman, all right, it's brilliant. It's narrated amazingly. You can hear like there's like sound effects you hear like the crackling of the fire. It's romantic fantasy. So this Princess Aurora, I was basically hooked on Princess Aurora. She gets she goes over and she gets kind of kidnapped by I don't want to give it away, but she gets kidnapped by this Worth King. And what I love about it is, you know what? Well, you are a reader, but audiobooks for me. You know, when you see like a book and it's like six, seven hundred pages , you're like, Okay , I'm not gonna No, I can't do that. No, see you later. If I look at an audiobook and it's like twelve hours, I'm like, half an hour a day. Boom, you do it in a month. It's amazing. Have you heard the Barbara Streisen one . Forty hours . Forty hours. Yes. I think people were too scared to edit her down . But sometimes it's like the mutterings of a mad woman . It's like she's left the phone on and she's going because you know and sometimes I get a jello sandwich and there was a shop around the corner that used to do Oh no it was in the mall. I'm like hello that's a funny girl I don't care what you've eaten. She doesn't she's got no filter when you know when they say it's not edited at all could do with a little bit of editing sip is baby sip isn't it? No, but the wolf king is now Walking, he's not the one in America that had all those tigers. No, that's the Tiger King . Okay , yeah . That's the sequel . It takes a weird turn. I'm going to say this now. I've never seen Tiger King.. I watch it What did you do? You're in coffee, it's the only thing to watch. No, you know what? I didn't do banana bread and I didn't do Tiger King. I thought I'm not doing it. I'm not jumping on the bandwagon. Tell me you clap for the NHS on a Fursday , you are so mean, , you did. Why not? My panzela crusade. I'm not You are made , thank you . I've paired this book with a Sharaz and sometimes I feel like I want it to go a bit different but I just think I don't think there is any other wine when you're doing medieval kind of romantic fantasy stuff. Red wine is that. I like to think that I'm in a medieval fantasy with a goblet of red wine. This is giving me gobblet, yes. And I and I'd love to be like sees him , you know, take him down. I'll take him to the castle. I can see you going. Guards . Yes. Guds? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah. You know, this is nice . I think this Charaz is light , his dark is brooding and it's a little bit spicy. Yeah. And you got that very nicely. And you can just sit down , have your glass of wine, blast it on your speakers through the Amazon Music Unlimited app, and boom. You transport yourself into this romantic fantasy world, Princess Aurora, will she be saved? Will she fall in love with the Wolf King? I don't know. So what are you waiting for? Press play on your monthly included audio book on Amazon Music Unlimited . And new subscribers can also enjoy a free trial. What's not to love is a no brainer. It is love. Cheers bottoms up . This episode is brought to you by Sweet Green. The day doesn't ask for permission. Lunch window? Gone before you saw it coming . You deserve a break that actually satisfies. Sweet Greens new wraps have got you. Real ingredients, zero shortcuts. Everything you love in one hand. Think green goddess chicken. Garlic Aioli, crumbled bacon , corn salsa, forty grams of protein. Made to keep up with whatever comes next. New sweetgreen wraps get different. Order now at order. sweetgreen dot com This episode is brought to you by Google Chr ome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had opened for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus. Can I also just say as if you're not doing enough? You're adding well you're already an author and loved I loved your two books. Two already have non fiction . But you're moving in, you're you moving into fiction. I ran out of stories of my own. It's so exciting. Oh, well, thank you for saying that Lee. I mean, again, another sort of sort of new challenge , like creating a world of characters to tell a story about . But it was a tremendous experience and I absolutely am so proud of doing it. It's set in Suburbia, which I know is where everyone thinks nothing happens, but in my world it does. And how long out of interest does it take? I mean, I suppose it's different for everyone, but how long does it take to actually like write a book like that Write a novel? Well, I mean it's I think it's however long you want it to, really, but I wrote it over about eighteen months. And I mean, it's like a hundred thousand words. So you're kind of like trying to if you change the thing at the beginning, it's all very well. You have to remember like if you've given them ginger hair, you have to remember, you know, eighteen months later they got like, You can't be like, and then olive skin was so, you know . And do you write at a desk ? Because when I went to your house, you had no furniture . Have you got any furs? Do you remember that? And then and do you remember then I thought I'd murdered you remember that? What's this? So Alan came round not long after I'd moved in and there was just a loaf and he's got a wine wine . You know, I've got a wine rack. He's got a wine wardrobe. Wine wardrobe. Oh my yard. I'm sure you guys will have. I knew there was a reason to be invited buttons up . Well, the thing was we just come out of the pandemic. So I hadn't been able to go and buy any furniture. And so it was completely empty when you came around. It's like, Can't pay will take it away . I said, If you've got money problems, Tom, do you want me to give you were alone . I said, I picked some gold up there There was no voice. Do you remember we got a little bit tips? Which is not like the sort of thing we like to do. We would just jump it up and down on your trampoline with dark . And then it was all fun and games until I fell down the stairs and smashed my head open. And I really happens with you. It's you. It's you, Alan. One of my last memories is going, Tom, Tom, and then there's blood coming out then. And that's when I ran and got on the replacement bus service. You talked about this. You left him for dead. I thought I'd killed him. Anyway, what was we saying about your book? Is it a murder? No, it's not funny enough based on what you just said, no, it's not my in his thinly veiled remind me the name . It's called common decency . And it's about in my mind like even in mundane places like Suburbia, even dramatic things can happen. Secrets and lies. And you know, is this going to be is the character, is it going to be a series? Is it going to or is it just a standalone? Well, I've enjoyed I really' envejoyed writing those characters. There are four houses. It's about sort of the families or the people who live in each of the four houses. So I've enjoyed kind of learning about them in this journey. So if people want to know more from them, then I would love to share them more experiences. It's about their yeah, the kind of lives are, it turns out quite intertwined more than they realized. Because you were the type of person where I sometimes look at people and I go you're doing exactly what you were born to do . Oh drama. What would you do? Like what is there anything you would be if you were a comedian, presenter, writer, Western star? Undertaker. What under just think I would be great at that. Dressing up, you know, I'm basically dressed as one today. You're always ready. Ready ready with a bob comment . And I'm dressed ready. I've always liked top hats. And I just like the idea of parading around in front of in front of a hearse. Looking a little bit solemn. Looking a bit sier, sombre. Sombah, I could do very well. That or maybe maybe a vicar. I couldn't I could go all the way if I really wanted to get dressed up. I wouldn't mind being a vicar. Right, Tom , we can't just gossip the whole time, even though that is part of it. We want you to stay on if you would kindly do this because this is a wine podcast and we are trying to give people take home things. Will you 're a man of sophistication, you know your stuff, are you ready to help us solve some dilemmas? Oh yes, I love a dilemma. Before you do that, tell us T,itanique,ak when you' startd on that? Because it's a six week run is it? I'm doing it for six weeks. Ty teach starts, I start in it on the fourth of March. It's at the Criterion Theatre in London, and it's a one hell of a show. So if you get a chance to see it, I'd love to see that. And when does your book come out? My book comes out on the twenty first of May, it's called Common Decency, and it's available to pre order now . And I'm very excited about that coming. And genuinely, if you love podcasts, which of course you do, you're watching this for God's sake. Check out Pottering with Tom Allen. It's so good. I want to do it, please invite me. I want to go will have scene of the crime . You want to see the house with furniture? Yes, yes. Is there still that outline of you? Bring back those memories. It's going like the old days. Right, let's get some wine because we're empty. This is delicious. Bottoms up. Bottoms up everyone. Bottom . Got it slightly to get an iceberg. Whether you're after a Wednesday night wine, Friday afternoon fears or a Sunday souver , me, Lee and Tom are here to help, Lee. What's the dilemma, please? I will tell you. It's from Danny D ANI . Or was it Danny Dyer's daughter? Maybe I don't know. We cannot confirm nor deny. So many celebs in this episode. Allen Lee and Tom . I'm hosting oh this is a bit of you already I think she's hosting her own murder mystery evening . And as you can imagine, the pressure is immense. Accents will be questionable , accusations will be flying and I need the right wine to carry us through. I'd love your recommendations. Ideally, something dramatic, a little chaotic, and guaranteed to loosen tongues. A wine that brings Allen's energy on the traitors bold, unpredictable , slightly unhinged brackets, but in a glamorous way. Something that says someone is lying at the table .ving L theo show every week bottoms up, Danny. Thank you. I hate this, Danny. What did you talk about me being uninge? Slightly unhinged. Where you are? I think I thought slightly was actually a compliment. I love you, Danny, really . She really gets you. She's clearly watched the show every week Tom , thank you for doing this. So firstly, wine. We haven't really talked about wine for you. Add you a wine. We should have probably chosen for you a wine drinker. I've been now for allergic to wine . I guess after that terrible incident No, I am a wine drinker. What's your choice? What's she tipped? Well I like all sorts of wines. To be honest all of, them . I am I like sort of things with a lot of like woody flavors. Is that okay? Is there anything to say? So heavy kind of red, reds, yes, those kind of oak things are like you like , I love an oaky chardonety. Vonnet, maybe? Oh, I love a vonier I mean, I like anything a bit bustling. All right, well, we're gonna start with the cheraz. This is nice Danny. So nice tasting glass there we've got. Yeah, I know, I know. Oh, come on. We haven't seen you in age. This is people often say to me, they go, Do you spit like when you do the wine tasting? I'm like , have you seen before? I've got a singing lesson about an hour after this. How are you? I'm gonna be on what Celine Dion song are you gonna sing? All of them, I guess it's for Titanique. So it'll be all of the Celine Dion songs that I'm doing the harmony song , including the prayer that she did with Andrea. Oh , that's great . Anyway, so we need to talk this. Let's get that's not in it though. Whispers in the morning she comes . We'll say it and your later Oh, that somebody else before was it was like Jennifer Rush? Jennifer Rush. Well sorry, Danny, we've not got time to do you, Dan. Alan did a medley Right. So she's let's think. She's hosting a murder mystery. Okay . So think about Danny. She hosting a murder mystery at her house. They've got their cards with their little character bios. Nice cheraz. What we get 'em from there? Give it a be nice . I'm getting chocolate. So this is an Australian cherazin. I mean the name, it's called the Chaos Confessor Doesn't have the name in itself kind of, you know , this brings a kind of nice warmth, spice and confidence. She's big, she's bold and she loosens everything . Do you think you're getting chocolate? A little bit of chocolate in there? I'm getting grapes quite a lot. Grapes that always helps. Well, there is that. I getting'm sort of a of fruit a red fruit of some sort. But there is a smokiness to it. Is there a smokiness? Yeah. Oh Malbeck, love Malbeck. Well, this is the thing because I do like a shirasma. Do you know what this wine podcast has taught me. I've been drinking a lot of pinot noises more. Oh, I like 'cause it's a light . Yes, it's got a light, but it's still quite flavorsome. The pinot noise. It's a nice day wow. That I didn't wear my white linen . Yeah. That's not watching the podcast. Allan just basically bored it all over time. I've got to stretch over the table. There's a lot going on on this table. What we got here then, so high altitude Malbeck. Mendo that this is a large intro. Oh, that's lovely, isn't it? Mal. Oh, yes. Allen loves the Malbeck. When I go to a restaurant and I see Malbeck, I go like , and then I see if it's from what is barred from Alan restaurants from And I see that if it's Argentina, I go tick and if it's from Mendoza, I go tick tick. Well, you've got double ticket to Mendova. Could you go on a Mendoza? Mendofa? Heather. It sounds like Mendova, doesn't it? Mendoza? No more one. No more being spotted Mendoza and Bendover . But that can't you go on the Gaucho trail and all that gaucho. Gaucho Mark is to leave Diana Myself, John seems to leave the song. Garcho Mark. What's up with me? We haven't got time to go with it. So don't know what's it because that's my dream. That would be something to do on the bucket. That would be something you got to done on that show. We haven't told you what? And this is not a wind up. Guess what me and Tom are doing next week? It might be the last time you see us and I' re skydiving. Skydiving . Why? Because Alan said it was on his bucket list. And so I said, If Alan wants to do it on his bucket list, you know, he hasn't got long left. And You're skydiving. Skydiving. Where? And the producers of the TV show are playing us off one another. What do you mean? I read, Oh, tell him, What's this about you wanting to do a skydive? He said, Idaho wanted to do a sky dive. Well, you told me you want to to do live? I don't want a sky dive. What do you think of that impression there? I don't wanna I don't want to sky. You do impression. I do. I do like you . Well, I just enjoy the way you sometimes elong ated to avoid . And you also play timing that's great. I mean that's a great comment when you're good at cooking out a very good Allen triview at Maybe if you get a sore throat titanique understand. Oh , you are a wonderful musician lady. Oh, one musician. Yeah, piano and triangle and triangle clockoch and come on. Danny, I'm sorry, we're neglecting her, boy. I think this one's slightly better than that one. Well, you've got smooth berry there. You've got rimo yes. Plum flavours. It's a lot smoother to be that one. Yeah. And I think that 's going to be coming. Go back . Yeah, you can go back. Yeah, go back . And the thing is , I think obviously it's not a firework, you can go back I think as well if she's doing this in the evening, a Malbeck is a bit more like a heavier one, it's nicer. That to me is more fruity. I like that one. Oh puliar. Oh now this is my favorite sort of red wine, I think. Is it a primitivo? Yes. First press, isn't it? Is that right? What'd you say? Primativo. First something First press. You know what? I don't know if you're getting this Allen book. Now when I go like I'm out, people will go to me, well, you're the expert now. You know, I don't have a clue what's going on with still. It's a lot to learn, isn't it? Oh, I don't know. I don't like the beat flavors. I like the ones that are a big punch in the face. Because you know when I asked you earlier about what would you do, but I could see you as a Semelier. Oh, I'd love to. Wouldn't you be great or as a matra D? Oh, a Sunuti Maitre D. Yes, stable. No, get it ready. Yeah. These people are here. Madonna's hit. Jane Ash is here. Hey, I want a table. Leading on . Smoking off smoking . This woman I met, she knew John Malkovich. You know the actor . And he was in the garrick and she went, Allan, Alan, let's take John Malkovich for dinner . So I rang up she kissed and I said hello because I needed a good table. I said, hello, I'm John Malkovich's PA and they went, Allen, is that you I said, It is me. I said, But I've got to get a good table for John Malcovich. And if I use me, they're not going to give me a good table. So you you didn' didnt't affect the voice. You just did your voice. Yeah, one of the most recognized I don't think it is recognizable . No, no, in a good way it is good way, one of the most recognizable voices, I think. Do you recognize? Headwell. Turn else sounds like you, do they? Seagull. So is this your favorite promotivo? I like a prototype there's something about it. It's kind of silky, woody, but a bit fruity. I 'm not going yeah. That's a lot . I would say the Malbeck is a little bit and I do love a Malbeck as you do as well, but it's a bit too heavy. That's really nice, it's fruity and it's not gonna a murder mystery will last a while . Okay, unless they go on they go on and on and sometimes they're quite boring. I'm just saying Danny, you might hear up halfway through and I've always done. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I would definitely choose that one pre,mativo because I think and it's got an interesting taste. Yogin for you there. In the description. Lovely. If you were gonna have any glass of wine or any glass, like white red, rose . We should do death row drink. Oh, do you think you'd fancy people always say Death Row meals? I'm always like, I don't think I'd be hungry. You're going to the chair in the morning. What do you want for dinner? I'd be like, you went to meal ., you don't want a big one. You don't want to look bloated in. No, I want to look my bed. Bloated in that body bag . Could you take his body bag out? I'm having some pasta last night . Oh my god, he looks incredible. And we should change our minds . Listen, you'll be off now doing your scales. That's what you west end wind is called. Well, of course my voice is my life now. There's a short organ. It's my organ Good luck with your organ. We will be running won't wait until tidy male. I bet you will. Its face is like stone blurring . It is one of those shows as well, like you know, it's very it's quite gay, even in the representative. This room is full of gays and I do think maybe that is slightly intimate because I sometimes get nervous when I'm doing like an LGBTQ gig where it's like mostly gays in the old it's very It's very . They're a very discerning crowd. Do you have to do that moronic thing? Like Celine Deon isn't in the show because I went to see nine to five, you know, the Dolly Pardoning in Stoke and I was there on a Tuesday matinee and they went please note, Dolly Parton is not in this performance Did you have to say Celind isn't in it? I don't I don't know, but I don't think so. I don't know. Thank you . I do I have seen that on that nine to five show, but I don't know if they do it with this one. But Donnie does appear on a video screen, doesn't she? Yes. She said, Hello there, Stoke Performance ding ding ding ding and they always do that big at the start of the music schools. Back in these days there were no mobile phones, so please switch them off. Just get on with it. I'll just say it, yeah, they go in Oklahoma. Well, back in there, isn't it? It's not Dolly Potter actually was saying that backstage yesterday turned . Dolly, you're done . I'm off in the house shock I like to pottery. Okay, so Danny, we're gonna pick the primitiv ia. I know I didn't think we would go for this, but I think yeah, it's the perfect choice. As chosen by Tom Allen, good luck with your murder mystery. Good luck. And as always, please drink responsibly. For more information, visit drinkaware.co. UK Break a leg. Break her leg in Titani. Good luck with the book. Thanks, everybody.. Thanks for having me We love you. I haven't drunk for two months and I am really feeling this morning. You've now had two months worth of drink. I'm really made up for it now. If you enjoyed this episode of Bottoms Up, join us next week where we'll have more drinks, more dilemmas and more dubious wine knowledge. And next week we're actually going to be adding cocktails to the mix. It's very exciting. We're branching out a little bit. As always, please do slide into our inbox with any questions, queries , dilemmas you've got at bottoms up show on social media or email us bottoms up at listen.co. uk and don't forget to like, review and subscribe. We'd love that. Thank you. Thanks for listening and as always please do drink responsibly. We'll see you next week. Bottoms up with Alan Carr and Lee Piert is a listen production . Bottoms up guys. Bottoms up Thrills are in bloom this spring at Borgata online. Sign up using bonus code NJPA Borgata and choose between two deposit bonus offers. Plus, score up to one thousand bonus spins when you spin the wheel daily for eight days. Visit Borgata online. com for T's and C's. twenty one and over to Wagner, New Jersey and Pennsylvania only, new customers only. All promotions are subject to qualification and eligibility requirements, rewards issued as non withdrawable site credits slash bonus bets unless otherwise provided in the applicable terms. Rewards subject to expiry gambling problem call one eight hundred gambler . Pandora Jewelry brings the spark le to your summer, now with even better prices. 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