Dinner Party Etiquette and Questions

This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. They can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus. But Butlers , do you have rights? Would Alan like to put some clothes on me ? Go ahead Toilet T O I L E T oilet Hello and welcome to Bottoms Up with Alan Carr and Lee Peat This is our weekly wine show where we crack open bottles, tackle your dilemmas, and try to find out whether we know our chabelis from our Chardonnays. So is this our welcome drink? Yeah, so for anyone who hasn't seen this before or hasn't seen last week's episode we always start with a welcome drink. Can I mentioned a malibu and milk cocktail which you insisted we would have as our welcome drink? This week. This is a malamoo. A malle . Is it Mali Moo? Malim ou? Mali Boo but Malimoo Yes, you see what they did there. So say I'm a vegan and I don't want milk. You could get oat milk. You could do a milk alternative. There's many now. UHT That would be delicious . Wouldn't it? Just and then you could have a travel malamo. Just take the UHT c arton and a little shot of malle. Just keep chopping it off That's a shot, UHT . It is shot, shot, shot, shot shot. So I mentioned this. I don't know how it's going to taste, but let's go for it . I know how it's gonna taste. This is like a taste shit. This is a chick well, don't judge your book by its cover. So it is literally coconut rum. So people wanted to make this at home. What would they do? Don't ? Don't you They would do a shot of coconut rum and top brown stuff on the chop. A bit of cocoa chocolate powder there. Don't okay. Give it a smell . Here we go . It's not as bad it's not. Oh, do you know what? It's all frightened. I'll give over Malamu . Oh God, I'm doing that same where 'd you do that? It's very weird . Oh, you're really glugging this, aren't you? And I'm not a big fan of coconut. No, me neither. So I don't know why either of us would have agreed to have this as welc aome drink. But yeah, malimoo. So malibu milk, I mean how malabu milk bit of ice and you're good to go. And I like my milk straight from the tip, right? Okay Okay., so that's fresh yeah, good. Well, I've actually got oat milk in mine. Yes. And the oat makes it a little bit yeah, it gives it a nice little flavor. This could be we could bring this back . I don't think it was ever in. I don't think. And the story is you used to drink this when you were a kid. No, I didn't I drank malibu when I was a kid and I remember reading up one I didn't that was when I was a kid Mummy can I have my malimoo . Oh my God, listen, I've got a mystery. A mystery, a murder mystery? No, it's not as exciting as a murder mystery. The council have been in touch . There's a fat burg under my house, a fat burg, fat bug which is blocking up the pipe. What's a fat burg? You know what a fat burg is? Well, explain in case I don't When idiots put things down the toilet and it congeals there was one apparently as big as your red ones and it was like huge and it causes trouble. Now because the shower doesn't work properly the water bubbles up's. a f Thereat burg, plot twist . Someone's been putting wet wipes down my toilet and I don't have wet wipes in my house. Oh, what so they're bringing their own wet wipes? They are one of my friends on me, don't wear me no is yeah, doing the toilet doing the toilet. Doing the toilet. Doing the toilet. Do the toilet. Do the toilet D Tilet Yes, so I don't know who it is. Okay. I'm gonna have to do a stop and search when people come in because someone is doing it's costing me a fortune. Pat them down for wet wipes. Yes. Oh my god, does it how much does it is it expensive to spend? Well, we all have to chip in the whole row of houses because there's a fact . So what happens is people put I don't do this, but people put grease down there and like they pour them. Is it oil? 'Cause you're meant to pour that in the bin. Are you? Sounds like we've found the culprit. I'm not gonna sabotage my own pipes . To be fair, we know it's starting 'cause you don't really cook. I don't talk. I wouldn't know where to put oil. Well, listen, not me, but a fellow Piat is having trouble with the council talking of which. She got Fatberg? No, Aloise. Yeah . You know , got her name. She's my sister . Fat Burg . That's her name. I've never met your sister. I'm sure she's lovely. So Elloise, Elloise the Fat Burg. Do you ever get like, do you have a family Whatsup group? Yeah, yeah, my dad's not really on it though. Yeah, yeah. So sometimes the family they all live in the same area, I will often get , you know, hey guys, look out. There's been a burglary, just keep your whits about you. And obviously it's nothing to do with me and like, I'm not interested because it's not anywhere near my postcode. Because I had one of those in my house. I get a newsletter someone's been kidnapped in my street. Who's going to attempt to kidnap anyone in that street if you've seen them? I mean, it's really random because I get the newsletter there's a man selling dodgy fish someone's car was broken into around the corner . I won't say the name just in case someone tries to kidnap her again. So was kidnapped, attempted kidnap. I'm like you are. What she 's been kidnapped? Well, that's the question, I guess, but she shouldn't really doubt I don't think that's the thing we should zone in on. I think it's the actual attempted kidnapping. Not like, ooh, I'm surprised they'd go for her . Anyway , the council, big news, breaking news in the P iet Warsap Group have binned Eloise's bin. I'll see you're trumping my kidnapping story with a stroke about a wheely bin. She's fuming. They've kidnapped her Wheelie bin. The bin fell into the bin Lorry, all right . She's livid. Guess why? Why? They've replaced it with a smaller wheelie bag. I hate that when they do that. Yeah. My recycling one's big, and then my normal one is that small. Well, you had to get an extension on your recycling one, didn't you for other bottles? No, 'cause I go down to the bottle bank where it's less shameful that is Andy Tip. I've only got little bit cardboard and yogurt pots and stuff in there for sure. Yeah . Listen, very exciting episode today. We have a guest, we have a guest, don't we? Yes , Dan the Butler, we are going to learn a little bit of etiquette when it comes to drinking when it comes to pouring wine, et cetera, et cetera, aren't we? Yeah, we're getting down an abbey on your ass . Yes, we are. And he lives in, he lives in Scotland, we're about to find out. My castle is. How is it going? How is it going? Well, just waiting for the keys to be exchanged. Is it keys exchanged? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I don't know what the key's going to be like, 'cause it is a massive castle. It'll be one of those massive keyrings with all really like cook. You want that? Yeah, yeah , wow, amazing. But there was a story in the paper that I was turning it into a leisure center and spa. No , yeah, let's clear this up and I'm not no because someone's gifted me a jacuzzi and I'm like, that's very kind, but I mean, I can't put this grade day listed up here. There's not much you can do with it. You're running it more as a community thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like it's not because it sounds wanky when you have a castle, but yeah, but I've had people going, Oh, can you book me in for a money and a peddy? Is it turning ? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and all that. They look with inflatables. Yeah, it's not gonna be no. I mean why, would I want to turn it into a spa? Why do I want the smell of chlorine? No, well exactly. Imagine the size of the fat burgs up there . If I get a fat burg in me castle, I know it's me unless the fat burgs followed me up. Well, unless your friend comes up to the castle. You should do that. Who reckon it is that of our friends? Dreck it's David Ames? Well, maybe but what's Hughes in the wet wiped? Why does he Why why do you think love ? Origami . Why'd he bring in his own web ? I don't know No But why are you It's insulting to me 'cause I use good toilet paper. Good for you. I do. But it's not like it's tracing paper or like bits of glass. It's a proper toilet paper. So someone's gone ugh. Yeah , no. It's rude. Well, listen, I hope you get that sorted. If anyone is struggling with a fat bird, then there is a helpline to call. If anyone's bins gone missing, let us know But be careful, you know, when you are using a wet wipe barns Well, there I was last night sitting on the sofa, glass of wine in hand I've thought right . Let's watch some great telly. Oh, dangerous words I know, but there's too much choice now. It's like when you go to the supermarket to get some wine, there's too many bowls, there's too many shelves. I don't know what's going on. I need help. And like wine, do you always choose the show with the best font . Yes, I do. Yes, I do. The thing is Telly's the same now, isn't it? It's like one app for this year and you almost kind of forget which show is on which app. Well Lay Sky has sorted that out. You're joking. No, they have . With Sky Ultimate TV, you get your Sky , but you also get your Netflix, your Disney plus, your HBO, Max, and your Hayo all in one place . Just one subscription . It's so easy. And that is dangerous for a man who loves TV as much as you do. I know. Fewer subscriptions, one bill, and all your favorite shows on your own personalized playlist. Perfect. You know what? I think that is worth a drink to celebrate. Exactly. So if you want the world's best telly in one place for twenty four pounds a month, head to sky dot com forward slash tv and check out Sky Ultimate TV. It's so easy. Prices may change during the twenty four month minimum term. New customers joining Skystream with Sky Ultimate TV only Includes Disney Plus standard with ads. Netflix standard with ads. HBO basics with ad s. And a taste of Hey you for full Ts and Cs. Visit Sky dot com forward slash tv . Bumbs up . Thanks, Sky Now our next guest knows a thing or two about throwing a party without breaking into a sweat. He's hosted parties all over the world for the fabulous and the famous Well he's doing it for little old Alan Car and Leer Pierre today is Dan the Butler. You guys are lovely . Welcome. Thank you. Did you like that introduction? I love that introduction. Thank you so much and I love the applause you've been getting first time Come on, you must have come on you . Dan, thank you so much for being here. You're most welcome . You said you said to us and this is what we've got in common. You said , I just want to let you know, I'm not an expert expert. But you are you're a butler. How did you know? How did you become a butler? How did you get into it? Well , maybe years ago, I used to be a theater manager. You have us already. Part of when I was a theatre manager, I used to do some work for Joan Rivers who's a delight. And she had a tour. This is the late nineties, early nineties and she had a tour in the UK called Broken Alone. And she entertained a lot after each show. She'd have so many wonderful people come and see her, and I would help her organize these parties and serve them afterwards. And she just noted one day that the joy on my face when I was within a hospitality setting taking care of people as opposed to the look on my face when I was sending out box office returns and merchandise reports. And she just really noticed the difference. And you know, and I thought, you know, she's absolutely right . That is where I'm most happiest. Yeah. Do you think it's a bit like a love language? Because I've got a few friends who love hosting and like the joy that they get from having people round and do you think it's a love language? I think it's definitely a love language. I mean, from my point of view as a baller, I always say, you know, taking care of people is my superpower . And I just love it. It just makes me brings me so much joy . And I see it also in with the clients that I work for, you know, the ones that really love to entertain, you just see how much pleasure that they take in putting on this beautiful spread for people and for everyone to just come in and be welcome and eat great food and drink great wine. Because I'm getting myself a castle you might have read in the book. I have. And you live quite near it, don't you? I do. I'm about an hour away. So because I was thinking of getting myself a butler. Can you see me going? I'll be having my Malimou in the library . Malimou in the library. Yes, perfect. Butlers , do you have rights ? Do you Do you have human rights? No right. That's the one thing he wants to know before he hires one . Can I be demanding? You can be as demanding as you like. You know, it's really interesting when I tell people I'm a butler , they instantly default to Castle in Downton Abbey. Yes . And you know, that role definitely exists. I've done that role. I sometimes still do it for long term clients , but it's a very stoic tradition, al formal world . And I like to consider myself more like a modern day butler . So I prioritize or specialize in the luxury rental market. So it's a bit like a concierge. It's a bit like a concierge. And I kind of see it as my job when these people and they could be royal family, they could be Oscar winners. National Treasures National Treasures . But when they go into a luxury rental property , it's my job to make them feel like it's their home for the time that they're there. Oh yes. And I don't think you can do that if you're all dressed up in a tuxedo. You know, I'm told you wear. Well, I wear an apron and you know, nice shirt, casual trousers. Have you ever been mistaken for Butler in the buff? Good lord, no. Can you imagine no kill two birds with one stone? No hostile. No nobody wants to see this in h the.ouse plays Well, can I just ask and I'm sure everyone asks this but I cannot . What was Joan Rivers life? Amazing. I'd love to talk . I'd love to meet her. I met her on eight out of ten cats and And you think she's going to be quite a cerbic and stuff, but she was a sweetheart. And of course when the cameras are then she's like, Oh wow, I love that. But I found her really like motherly. I know that sounds weird. She really does care and asking about me. I mean, she didn't need to. But you know, she was just Yeah. I really agree with that. She was so caring. I still have , I mean, I think maybe the last time I worked for her was the Naughties, early Naughties. And I still have at home gerobomes or magnums of Moek that she sent me just to say thanks for being on my show. Like she had a sheer volume of gifts that she used to send out to everybody. Such a kind woman. So if she said, Dan , I'm going to have another facelift, would you go? Very good, ma'am What a good decision. Were you contractually obliged to put her into it . No core bed . I like you. You're discreet. Good, he's got the job. Yes. But in terms of hosting in general, let's say we were doing a dinner party at a house or having friends over. What are your kind of top tips? Do you have a glass of champagne when you go in? Is that what rich people do and these fancy people? Only if it's something super formal. I think normally and never forget I'm, working in holid ay home so it's really super laid back. Holiday. So you're coming in, I'll set up a douvre, canapes, cocktails, champagne, and it'll be in a nice area . I'll set up a table in the foyer so that people can leave the gift that they've bought and then just show them through to where you know we'll feed them . And then just lead everyone over to the table for a really relaxed , lovely dinner with what really gets you go etiquette wise? Is there something like someone blows their nose and looks at it? That's not very nice, is it? No, yeah. What's the one thing? What would send you west? What would make you see red? Say someone came. seem You like I'll come off in love Dan. Stomach. Say someone used washlets , wet wipes and put them down your toilet, and you've got a fat bag. Well, if you're just gonna sit there and take it. I'd be furious. Thank you. Furious. We're broken down. He's like a dam. It's all coming out now. So angry. You've got a glass twenty years old, but the repression. All gone. Over a fat mount. So the wine then. So what are you gonna show us here then? For the wine, I did bring something from Scotland for you both. Is it that Magnum Gerabone of Maui? It's something even better. This , you can find it out which one you like the best. Oh , but this is a Tunnocks tea mug. Oh my god. View to have in the morning at your castle. And beauty have at home. Tunnix is a Scottish staple. Lambly wearing me . I've lost touch for reality ever now . Have actually have you heard of my castle? Is it famous? My castle? Huge. It's stunning. Huge in the borders. Yeah . It is beautiful . Yeah. Have you been? I've been past checking out not because I knew you were going, I'm not stopping before I saw you on the CC TV . It's a different way of life up there. Well, that's what I want. I want a different way of life . It's fantastic. And you know, I've just, you know, there's people that you work with and you just want to see the back of them, you know? And you just want to just wanna just get away , you know , oh, I'll be there with Moet wives . You can't wait and I was going to say Mess up my blobby Listen, for those listening, we've got a decanter in front of you and I'm very excited because I have a decanter. My dad got me one for Christmas. You got a decanter for Christmas? Yes. Because we do a secret santa thing and my dad he was like, Oh, he looks wine, I'll get him a decanter. And I personally think look so like elegant. It just gives a touch of Jenis aquat, doesn't it? I love them . But they're a bit fassy. They are and we spoke about this a couple of weeks ago with Tom Gilby M,agic Ball. Magic Balls are right there. I love that episode, so couldn't not bring them after Tom mentioned them. Oh, see, weirdly I thought they'd be bigger. I thought you'd have bigger balls those of you listening . He's got some bowls. You're imagining he got some bowls . Do you reckon they'll ever do a travel decanter? That'll be amazing. I would buy one. That's what I wanted to a travel one. Yeah . One that like folds up. Yeah, yeah. So now I'm gonna get to it for you guys too. I think that would be on drag . So talk us through then. Okay, so what does it decan to do? Why are they good? So a tacanta is not just for show. It has two very specific reasons . One is to remove sediment and sediment or as some people call it wine diamonds, which I love. Oh my god, I've never heard that. I'm obsessed. Diamond s. So sediment will happen with an older bottle if you think ten years, fifteen years, twenty years, thirty years . And it's just the sediment is just a natural byproduct of the wine aging. Because a lot of people think that it's bad if they've got sediment, but it's not really, is it? Look, it's not harmful, it's not great. It's going to make your glass look weird. It's going to taste a little bitter. It could stick around your lips. It's not the best thing to have. And if you're decanting a bottle too, it's going to look really grim coming down there. So that's the first reason why if you decant an older wine is to remove the sediment . And then the second reason is to aerate wine. And you would do this normally with full bodied wines old and young, so you'd have a bordeaux or a berolo , a cot d'erone chateaux depart onuf . And then if you think with the newer wines , when they're in the bottle, if you think of them as sleeping, that's probably the best way to think about it. And by putting oxygen into them, eriating them, putting them into the decanter, you're waking them up and you're bringing out all the flavours and all the smells and you're giving it the opportunity to reach its full potential. Oh nice because they say when you know when you open a bottle of wine you say let it breathe but I read once that because the tip of the wine, the what you call that top bit? The cork? Yeah, like it's a small surface area, whereas this one lets it breathe better. It gets more oxygen into it right. It does. Super accelerate. So this type of decanter, it's a wide bottom and a wide neck. And this is predominantly for younger wines because younger wines will need more oxygen to bring them alive and maybe a little bit longer for them. So you decant a younger wine maybe an hour before you want to drink . For an older wine, you're probably looking at something more narrower with a smaller base, a smaller room old box . An old box room. I don't know Sick of old bottoms . And you know, you could maybe decant that maybe fifteen minutes before . So maybe think of it the older wine's been asleep for long er, doesn't need as much sleep. Oh, and Tennessee, when you're working up party, how much should you have in a wine glass? I mean, I suppose you're looking around going, Lee's empty or I look like yes. What is the amount that you put in ? You know, for the first glass, I'd probably come to about here. Yes . And then an inch gauge an inch in the bottom. And then you gauge how quick people are drinking it and then you feel accordingly to how people are consuming their wine. Oh, sir. What would you say if I was maybe flaying around talking about my life and stuff like that? Would you say oh maybe sir would like some water. Oh gosh, no matter how man. No, no, if you were having a lovely time, I'd fool you really high. Really? Yes. You're there to enjoy yourself. Oh my god, so even at my car if I'm not being annoying, you'll go very good, sir. Very good, sir. Let's give you some more. And you wouldn't stop me. It's not my pleasure. The job. He's great. Yep, you're hired, Dan. What would you do? Would Alan like to put some clothes on ? At the dinner say No , Dad, well, what would you do? If he gets up, walks over to where the wine is, you know, grabs it and pours himself it. Is that would you would you be furious? Do you think he's overstepped the mark there? To know, I'm going to tell you in all honesty, it would never happen because I'm that good around the table. I know it's myself. Wow, nobody has to ask twice. Sometimes you don't have to ask at all when I'm at the table. And it's something that I love. And that sounds really braggy and I don't mean no but I just take so much pride in taking care of people. I hope I have the table completely under control. But how many can you take? What's your capacity? On my own thirty , add a push. twenty five is a good number . fifteen. And we're talking about dinner parties . Absolutely . We have a classy guest stop . Oh, okay, an inch in the bottom and older bottoms. Anyway , so are we gonna, I'm guessing by this lovely bottle of barolo that you are holding, is this one of your favorites? No, I'd like a barolla. This is Southern Fabulous Harry picked up because a barolla was on my list as a wine that is good here at decant. Good . Okay . So what I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a taste of this before we decant it. So is this so we taste the different? You should absolutely taste the difference. I mean, this is a young wine and obviously we're not going to be giving it an hour before the next golf, but there should be some difference. And are we having it in the wine glass or the tunnel? In whatever mug you want? Would you like it in Matonics? No, we'll stick to please, please. Okay, so you're pouring this and we're meant to taste the difference of what it'll be without being dec anted . And so how old is this one then? How long would you leave this? This is a twenty twenty. So I would do this relatively new is that? Yeah, I'll do an hour before drinking. Because the thing is as well, it just looks a bit classy on the table, doesn't it? But if you've got a group of thirty people, how many decanters would you have for that? Would they be dotted around or would you just keep refilling them? Both I always have a set of backup decanters for a big backup decanter. Dinner. So I'll have the main decanters. The travel decanters. The travel decanters. Yeah. That's where all the nail needs a bigger decanter . Shall we have a taste of this? So this is a non so what do we do then? Do we sniff it? Yeah, give it a smell . Lovely stuff. Love it. Look at the legs. Look at the legs. That does smell nice . Okay. Should be like strawberries and cherries. It's fruity . Oh, really nice. Does it taste good? It tastes lovely. You've not tasted it yet. How long should we wait until we get it down us? Is there etiquette in that? We can't wait an hour. No I've got an Acado delivery coming up . So then with the decanter , so I just use one of these funnels. And then for the sediment, your best friend is going to be a piece of muslin. Wow, okay. But if you don't have that at home and I know not everybody does. I mean, a lot of bakers do, but you know, a coffee filter would work if you're in a pinch, but you just want to wrap that round So for the purpose of the listeners, the muslin cloth is being wrapped around the top of the decanter and then literally so you pour this pour straight through . So this is to remove any sediment that might and so does that catch then in the top there? It does. So in theory that it just shouldn't seep through the muslin. No, of course. And even look at that Look at the way it's flowing in, it's like a lovely water feature. I mean, sometimes it's relaxing. It is relaxing . It's relaxing to do. I mean, sometimes if I've got a thirty year old wine that's fully sediment . That's not a proper way to word it. That has a lot of sediment. I will double decount. What's the most expensive wine you've ever opened ? I don't know , it's probably within the five to ten . Yeah, thousand . While you do this as well, while this is decanting, I want to ask you about because obviously you do a lot online. You've had like millions of views. How did that come about? Was it a bit because whenever I speak to people who do online videos, it almost without sounding awful, it sounds like it's almost a mistake. Like it happens by accident. Is that what happened with you? One hundred percent, mine was a total mistake. This is TikTok. And I had seven followers for a long time . And you know, I really wasn't posting so much. I was just using it to watch Judge Judy or cooking recipes . And then I was in a house that is very pro social media and they were like, If you want to film film, you're fine. And that particular dinner, we had fourteen people for dinner, but I had over a hundred glasses on the table because every course had been paired with a different wine . And it just looked so pretty with all these crystal glasses on, you know, one hundred and seven, I think it was glasses on the table. But I just did this video saying, Oh hi, I'm Dan Butler . Spend a minute with me, I'm setting this table. Yeah . And it went crazy. And I went from, I think seven followers to fifty six thousand overnight. Oh my gosh. It was wild . And then I did a packing video at home in my kitchen. This is what I take to work . And it did eight point two million views of me just packing a bag. It was crazy. Do you have you had famous people share your videos or comment on them or reach out? Well, you work with them all the time, I guess, don't you? You can't possibly say. He's discreet and not low. Speaking of discrete, he rings me up. Alan, Allen, Jalo's liked me post . Jay Lo likes one of my videos. But you've got Jay Love Sarah, Jessica, Sarah, yes, you do watch the show. Yes . Oh , yeah, no, it was weird. My agent. Why are you getting these people? I get jacks shit. I get nowhere. I think you're doing all right. Like yeah, it came up Jalo likes. My agent goes to me. Oh my god, was it the real one? I said , I did check before I started telling. It's not like Janice Lauden from Wigan it is the real jailer. Yeah She's swiping through. Okay, so do it . I know it hasn't been an hour, but it's listening to go. We've got you some fresh glasses . So now we can try the decanted wine and see if you can taste different. So take a sniff and tell me if you think that it's it already smells stronger. Leigh, do you think you could get your mouth around the end of that day can ? Not now . Do you want to put like over it? Yeah, and pour it in. Yeah, I could try , but you know, probably not something done at your lovely dinner parties, is it? No, after passport Here we go. So I think it's got a more than a road, really? Yeah That makes it wild . Here we go. We're gonna have a taste of this now. So this is the decanted wine. Same wine, same bottle . It's got more flavor. One thing, and we've all got problems , but one thing that I struggle with no one thing that I struggle with is cleaning the decanter . And we had Tom Gilby and we've mentioned this the magic balls. So how do you clean it, o?kay Because I just thought you gave it a rinse and shoved it like a tea towel down there and tried to wipe it, but apparently not. There's a way. You can . I don't think anybody should go crazy with cleaning with decouterss. There' if you've got a young wine in there and it hasn't left sediment , you know, how you would normally wash a vessel is more than fine. One thing was a vessels aren't you? Well, I didn't mean to actually I don't think I've ever said that in my life . Volkshave Volkshire vessel. I don't know where that came from . But the joy of these bulbarians. Now these were one of the videos that I put on TikTok and people went mad for it. I mean it did four million views. People were obsessed and they kept sending me challenges saying, Will it work on tin? Will it work on my garden watering cat? Yeah But the joy of these and you'll see when you do it, I'm going to get you to do it is that what happens is especially if you have an older wine , it comes up into these sections here , which is really hard to clean if it stains. If it's been in there a while, if you picture it at your castle, you've got the dining table, you've got the fire going . The room is quite warm . Any wine left in a Decanter is going to leave a stain . And up here too, you know, as it pours over the night, you're gonna get it in the neck too. And if it's a really thin neck decanter, it's really difficult to get something neck to clean . And these magic bores are just incredible. And they don't take long. And it's Tom when he was describing them. He said, You just put it in some water, whoosh around, and it's sparkling right brand new. And that's really what they do. And how much of those I think for them . Between four and six pounds. Okay on Amazon. I did. It's not going to break the bank is unclean decanter . All right, so I'm going to demonstrate this. So what should we do? Should we pour just this? Shall I pour the rest of this red wine? I'll pour it out. It was going to waste it. No, no, I know . Or do you I'll top you up here. Oh that How you actually how do you hold it a canter? Do you just hold it by the stem here A decanter, I think is a really personal thing. You've got to know how it feels in your hand because they're different shapes, they're different weights, it can be different you get . Yeah, that . Only know your own. You only know your own. You do it as good on your own. You can. But that's not true, that's the true. That's right, girthy as well, isn't it? It's one of the girthier ones. Yeah. Where'd you hold it on the shaft? Is it ? Is it the top of the bottom Oh, it's coming out, lovely that . Well if it comes out this colour then you've got an issue. It doesn't stop it's hard to do it because you feel you really have to tip it, doesn't you? Oh, for God's sake . For those of you listening, we're pouring wine . Oh, what? They just hit the glass there. Oh, look at that. You spilled it. He would be would he be a good waiter not waiter, butler . What do you reckon? I think that quite calcanded, isn't it? My mum used to say that, but I'm left handed and you're c canatanded. Are you left or right handed, Dan? I'm right handed. I'm glad we cleared that up . We ask the questions everyone wants to know the answers to. It's hard to get the last bit out. It's really hard to get the last bit out. And can you imagine it if it's like a really level exhausting praying everywhere ? Right. What? Come on now. You've emptied your decanter, you 've gone home, you've woken up the next day. You've seen all the washing up and in the middle of that sits your decanter. Now you come in, it's quite stained underneath. You've got stain coming up here so you're getting texts from your guests being like, Thanks for a great evening blah blah blah. I wouldn't want to see the state of your cancer as well. Exactly. Well, you'll say in a minute, I can make it brand new. Yes. So here's sublukewarm water. Now you don't need much. It literally works as a lubricant for the boars to get them to get them around the decanter . So you pour much lube would you use ? About five mil, five mil great . Five to ten mil. Perfect. Yeah. Just the right amount A little bit of lukewarm water going into the Decander. Now it is probably good to say for those that aren't watching. There's still a little bit of red wine in there, isn't there? From because you can't get it all out. I can't get it all and then I'm going to give you these. Oh, Alan, you're doing this. Okay, so I've got your bowls. What do I do now? So hold it maybe to an angle. The first time you do it for sound, you think it's going to chip, scratch, break, they won't. Really? No, they're genius. Okay. Hall in. Did all of them? All of them . Oh yes. There we go. Okay and now do you remember when you were swirling wine? Yes. So do that with the decanter . That's it . It's quite a bit like ASMR, isn't it? Yes, a great sound . Look at the say your name . If you hold it to your ear, what do you hear? All right, that's how you clean the decanter ? If it's got some stains that are being quite stubborn, pop it on the table and swirl that way to do it in a circular motion like that on the table. And what is, do you know the science behind this ? What is it doing? How is it working? Then magic . Okay , so that's a no, then we go . It's like when you ask your parents a question Why does it do that 'cause it does ? Is that good? That's brilliant. And that is how you wow. Yes, look at how clean it is. The decanter . Really? Yeah. And then you just pour out that water there. Pour it out. Pour out the balls. And then all you do was you get a sieve , just the sieve is not very big , but do you want to do it? Yeah, gosh and pour pour it into and then the balls will sit onto the baby sit onto the soup. You holding it? I'm holding it more Did More get all the hair coming the board? What? I didn't know they were trouble. The safe was like a tree Too small . But anyway, the balls are all for it's like the national lottery. They've all fallen down. Well, it's like show goes where she throws the balls on a little slip . Yeah , edit . Oh no so maybe get a bit of either this what you do with your balls have dropped ? You are going to be finding them for the rest of your life. Oh, that's so listen. This is a trip hazard for anyone at the broadcaster. If you hear any injuries , it's not us. That is a faux par, is that if it is a faux par? What would we do? Do if the balls were just went everywhere wouldn't be like a canter on the table. No, no, this would be in your kitchen . It would be in the kitchen away from everyone. I can hide my shame. Yeah . All right. When should a party end drinks into the room that you've moved to after dinner. Okay, yep, that's great. Two drinks into the room. You're like that bean It's fractions around so and yeah so you go Oh like with me in my castle let's resign, not resign , retire let's resign. Let's resign. I will be sorry. He's saying the book . Let's resign . There you go. I've resigned . So I go, Oh, maybe let's go to the terrace or something like that or let's retire to the terrace. And then two drinks in, I'll go I'm getting you an Uber. I would know where in advance that you want people to go to, so I'd have tea, coffee , little chocolates , more pork, wine available . And then once everybody is into their second drink, it's time for carriages. I think I need a butler. I think you do. Yeah . Any vacancies have your free? It's a fantastic one in the borders that I know of What I want you to work for Best Leaders. Don't think about that. Oh yeah . Oh dear, oh god so stupid Anyway, well I feel like this part is over now but we have got moved on to the from the table haven't we? We're without our two drinks without our two drinks. Actually, before you go down, we asked for some questions from viewers and we've had some sent in Katie in Brentwood loves the show and wants to know. When you've thought long and hard about the wine that you take to someone's house for dinner and sometimes spent a pretty penny because that host is a bit of a wine snob . Should they open it or keep it for themselves? She's always confused at which one she should be offended by. Yes, because you take a nice bottle of wine and then that goes in the wine rack s, you know, they're giving us echo fools. Apparently that is yeah apparently that one hundred percent it will shouldn't be opened unless this coming at from it two different ways . If you're a host and somebody's bought you a fantastic bottle of wine and you want to crack that open, go for it. Yeah. But if you're a guest going with a fantastic wine, don't expect it to be opened. And I think the bottom has to be a thank you gift? It's a thank you gifts. What tends to happen is when people bring gifts and they put them on the table I write their name and the date on the label before it gets put away so that then my clients will know if they open it in a month time or six months time. Oh no this was from a dinner I think predominantly, what it's about is a numbers game . So if you've got fifteen people for dinner and you turn up with one exceptional bottle of wine, that's not doing half of them. No. And I think there are always exceptions to the rule. So I'll have guests of my clients. They'll call me a couple of days in advance and they'll say we've agreed it with the host. We want to send the wine . They know what's being cooked, they've paired it, and they'll send it to me the day before. So if it's a white wine, I can chill it in advance because you're not actually giving the host a gift. You're giving them a little burden when they should be getting ready to host. Does it need to be chilled? Do I need to decant it? So as a guest, don't expect your bottle to be opened. And don't be offended by it either. Well, it's interesting to say that because we've got a few quick via ones. We're going to alternate these, but that first one, you're bringing white wine to a dinner. Should you have chilled it or is it okay to grab one on the way? Chilled it every time. You've forgotten a bottle opener, are you reaching for a lighter rishou or your teeth? Well, seeing your grims baby . Who did the shoe? I did the shoe. Who did the shoe. It works. Do the shoe. Do the shoe. All right. You've spilled your drink. What's the move? What do you do next? You spilled it. Cold water . So you don't put white wine on red together . I've heard that. Cold water is your best friend on any spill. So I wear a lot of white gloves. I have a lot of white linen. They can get absolutely soaked in red wine. I put them straight into a bowl of cold water and let them soak overnight . It's the best way to get rid of a stain. You might have to do stuff after yeah, but the damage is, you know, the cold water won't let that stain set . Is it ever okay to double dip, Dan? Always . Always. What is the double dip? Twice in a if someone was coming round with a tray of hummus and like a I always double dip Sign of a good hummus? Yeah. Would you double jip with hummus? I wouldn't use a spoon that I've used and then go back in. No, if it's a chip, but if it's like yeah a bit of carrot. Crudette. Crudette, crudette . All right, is napkin on the lap? Do you fold it or did you just let it hang? However you're comfortable. Okay. You know, sometimes it can slip off, so however you know it's going to stay. Reaching across someone at the table, is it a no? No . Yeah, you should say, can you pass that? Can you pass that? You know what I like? Pardon my reach. Pardon my reach. I used to love saying that . Should you put the empty bottle up side down in the bucket once done? Yeah, apparently that's not good. No. It drives me potty, especially when I'm out and I see people do it in bars or restaurants. I know the heart behind it is genuine it's done. Signal, it's done. But I think it looks awful. No. I would rather put the napkin over the laying it to rest here . It's done . God would not forget . Dan, thank you so much. It has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for coming and I'm sure you'll be seeing Allen on Monday, nine AM on the dock . On the dock bringing you to Canter . That's how I start my mundane. Bring in my balls . Damn the button, everyone . Thank you . Thank you . Thank you, thank you . If you've really enjoyed this episode then why not show us some love? Follow bottoms up on Apple and Spotify and you'll get a new episode dropped on your phone every week. Yeah, you do not want to miss an episode. Also, if you have already , thank you so much for leaving your lovely five star reviews. If you haven't, please do it. It's super quick, super easy and it really, really helps. Follow us at Bottoms Up Show on Socials and as ever, if you do want to get in touch with us, bottoms up at listen.co. UK . And don't forget please drink responsibly. This has been bottoms up with Alan Carr and Lee Piot, and it's a listen production. Damn the Butler, what I'm Damn the M thean man cheer coming to me cheers bottoms out bottoms up