Wine Hacks and Decanter Cleaning

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Get your bishop out of my mouth . I have a good mind to throw this all over you. Ooh, it's the best coderone that you can get that, I think. Smash this glass after. GK Barry this week next week Winston Churchill Yeah, take that Timothy Chalamay . Hello and welcome to Bottoms Up with me, Alan Carr, and Lee Peart. This is our weekly wine podcast where we swirl it, we sip it, but we absolutely do not spit it. Thank you. We don't suck either. No, we don't, we don't su know cking here. We've read a few of the comments you suck . Now you suck, Karen . If you haven't watched this or listened to this podcast before, it's our we're trying to demystify the world of wine, aren't we? And drinks in general. So we invite some celebrity friends come on who are in the wine world and also experts along the way because we went out the other day, didn't we? We looked at a wine list. We still struggle . I know. What have we got ourselves in for? No, I know, I know. Yeah, it was just there, but we're getting better. We're getting better. We're here to make you more sophisticated, aren't we? And what better people to do that? And we want to start with a welcome dr ink, don't we? And you have chosen this one. Do you want me to help you there, babe? Why would you put glasses on? , it looks arty, doesn't it? Yeah, just there you go. So we have a welcome drink each time and this one is oh champagna. Oh yes. Pole Rach , is it? Yes, or I call him Roger Pole . Okay . No, this is classy. This is proper class. e Doat you know who drinks this? Who? William and Kate they are there on their wedding day. Did they? And do you know who loved this? Winston Churchill? Oh , Winnie. You liked Winnie, Winnie. Winnie. I know him as Winnie . Winnie Chiki Chick . He said famously in victory I deserve it. In defeat, I need it. Oh, I like it. He's like weather spoons in here at ten fifty nine AM. You know, I looked at Oh ums up check oh okay that's great . What other waste is bloody expensive. Is it? Okay, we're going out. So we always choose a welcome drink , you know, for kind of like a story of what we've done. So why have you chosen this? What's the meaning behind this? Well, it's like I said, it's regal. The royals love it. Winston Churchill said it was his favorite champagne and we had a royal we did. We went to a roy visit didn't we went to the barracks the ro,yal barrack. The Royal Horse Parade, or horse guard parade, is it? We should have really taken a little bit more notice of what it was called. There was a lot of horses there. We had a private tour, didn't we? I will just say this. So they do a load of tours in London , and this was the Royal Horse Guard one. And I will say a group of gays on a tour of an army barracks . We let ourselves . We really did. We saw a fitman, didn't we at the end of the stables? What does he do? Yes, he was kind of further down, wasn't he? But he'd taken his jacket off and he was flexing. He knew knew he what he was doing. And he was like, We're just gonna turn right, but he was left. And we were like, Oh , why don't we go left ? And our friend Rossi loved Rossy, but he wanted a tour of the dormitory, didn't me. And we did this thing where we were talking and the guy does the tour and he was like, right, I'm gonna take you all around the back. Well, all the gays . It was like I was just like, this is not what you talked. Then they asked us questions and there's a bit of a place there where all the vets really where the horses, if they've been injured or something, get checked up and looked after. These horses are treated like royalty themselves. They're massive as well. They're huge. They're huge. So one poor horse got hit by a taxi. Lee goes, Was it Uber or a black cab? Why? What does that even matter? I want to take this rating. No . I wanted to know out of insurance. I was thinking, who pays if they hurt the horse? The man just looked at you like, really? Your question. I kept asking ridiculous quest ions. Oh, what about when I called them the squadron and you all had to go at me saying it was wrong? It wasn't no you're right. They are a squadron. I dis . Do you know what I was going to say? Because a book you recommended the splendid and the Vile . You know, that great book, Eric Laston, I think it is . I love that bit in that, it's all about World War two. And when Winston Churchill says the famous, we will fight them on the beaches, we will never surrender. It says there that allegedly . that After, he did like an aside and was like , I mean, we're probably going to have to use the buttons of beer bottles because that's all we've got, but let's see. And I actually think that's hilarious, like that iconic speech. Ruined it now. Were you doing it like Larry Grayson? Did you do a tit le shot? Well, we'll be fighting with a beer but at this race. That's a big fine thing . Shut that door . Shut that bunker . But you know, Paul Roget, he loved it so much, speaking of horses , Winston Churchill called his horse, Paul Roget, loved it. And when he died , they put a black label round the side of it Because he loved it so much. What round the side of the bottle or the way Not him . Because he woke up and had a whiskey for breakfast. Did you know that? Yeah. He would be a good guest on the event. We need to we need to get his public system but you can do amazing things with AI these days. GK Barry this week. Next week, Winston Churchill I know he's dead, we're joking. Yeah, he y but I don't know we know sometimes the internet's a weird place. I don't trust anything AI anymore. I don't know what's going on and I know I love that line Winston Churchill says for that woman says at the party, you're drunk . He says you're ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's your little friend? What do you mean? My little friend. Yeah . Oh , for God's sake, you ask what is it? I thought it was a skittled is that why there's three glasses here? I've got a thank you for pointing that out. For anyone pointed out, I can't miss it. Oh, you know what? I can't wait to re watch the New Year's Eve episode when your cold sore's staring me mbers. Why does your body do that? Why? Well, I don't think this is a cult. I'm living in fear. I'm scared of cold sores like herpes. I'd rather have herpes than cold sore. I will, because at least you can't smash this glass after . Well, anyway, listen, while we're getting on. Oh, listen, well, we've got a bit of Paul Rojay. I've got a bone to pick with you . Oh, go on, everyone. Yes. Well, you've been sucking on my bishop quite literally , okay, not to quell the rumours. He rings me up the other day . Do you have a chess set ? Oh yeah, you know people think we're friends. He's got two chess sets . He gives me the travel one because he doesn't trust me with the main one. No, I don't have I was doing a sketch with Carol Volderman. She deserves better. All right, then. Let's ask the listeners and the viewers whether I don't trust you because he said , you Do have a ch ess set? I want to record a skit with Carol Vorderman playing Strip chess . Sorry , I might have thought you weren't taking it that seriously. Why give us the travel one? I'm not be going w toalking around naked I wanted you to get cancelled . So why wouldn't you give me the main one? We're meant to be friends. Because I thought if something happens to it and lo and behold I might travel pottery, I'd give you it . Lo and behold , it did. You sucking on the night, you're doing all this with Carol Volderman. You're trying to be sexy. Yeah, stripping, stripped chest. When did that become a thing? Well, Carol Volderman invented it. Of course she did. She did, she did. But also I don't want to get into any hot water here, but why have you engraved a traveled chess set? I don't It's hard to engrave on plastic firstly it's wood, thank you very much . You should know that's the only wood you've had in your mouth for a long time. No get your bishop out of my mouth And second ly , oh, honestly he was like, Will Smith at the Oscars Take your bishop out of my mouth Oh, well , but why have you got it in Greg? No, I don't want to wait. It's not someone who was my plain chest. It was a gift. No, it's my own name. I'm not dead It was a gift. Maurice brought me the outside, you're not dead . Maurice bought me it for my birthday. So that's my name on and my birthday. In case I forget either. Listen, you mentioned Will Smith. He was obviously in hot water back in the day, but I'll tell you another film star who's in hot water. Timothy Challamay . Oh I'm gonna pass Timothy Shallow Gay . You're right, okay . Good one . Yeah, you sure showed him. Yeah . Slagging off the bloody opera. I'll slap him if I see him. Well, I would sure have a good mind to dump him. What do you think about that? Well, I think well firstly, I think do not . If there is a community you do not go for, it is the theatre community . Musical theatre people why go for that . I've only been to the ballet ones and I took my mum when I saw it got famous you get invited to things and I thought my mum's like oh so I took my mum down and it was great. The ballet it was nutcracker, it was Christmasy. I felt really Christmasy like that. Did you feel like a bit booze a bit sophisticated? Yeah, you know, for the first time, this is me from Northampton. So we go to the ballet and it's one of those celebrity ones where people are there and I said to my mum, I grabbed my mom and I said do not approach any celebrities or talk to them unless they talk to you . Five minutes I turned around. She's grabbing Rod Stewart's shoulder pad. Rod Rod what did he say? Well get off and get this woman away from . And then she was t asered. No. So I go out and then I said, Mum, which bit of don't talk to Sevil. But he was so sweet. He talked to her because he's a football fan and my dad was a football manager. So he saw me come over and goes, all right, how's Graham and all that? But my mum, Richard Madeley . Gonna have to him and then who's that one Robert Lindsey? Oh yes. He was in there family. Yeah, but Mum, 'cause my mum's old, she remembered him in Wolfe. Do you remember Wolfe Sitzenmith? S I'm afraid again. Wolfy, as he was at the ballet ? Well halfway through the Didn't Diddy Wolfe. Wolfe . Oh, Rod Sing, do you think I'm sexy . But he was good. I mean, he wrowed flowers on the say, she throws a rod's shoulder pattern s . So yeah, I liked the ballet, but I couldn't go again. Well, listen They'll put that on the poster. Well, I went to see Madame Butterfly and it was another press night and there were like, it was Piers Brosnan and Joanna Lumley. I thought, I'm in the place I need to be.. Yeah, yeah Did you sell many programmes Hagandar's ice cream . No. And Po Miss Lumley? No, but I felt like because I really wanted to love it. Now and it was amazing, but when it was act three , usually there's what there was two intervals , Madam Butterfly. Well, I would never sit there and still Anna Cocoon wasn't she father sends a past? Yeah, yeah, she's still a caterpillar . But there was no , I would never sit and slag it off. And he's a massive film star and he's just punching down it's not good. And I think as artists you have to support a variety. And then he got really bitchy. It's one thing saying, Oh, I'm glad I'm not in the opera where it's struggling. But then he said, Oh, I've pissed them off. That's fourteen p al ofes I s've lost. That's But then did you see you lost a million followers on Instagram? Did it? Yes, yeah. But the thing is as well, now with Opera. I like it when you can hear it and that was that one . Evan Shazam's gone. You're on your own here What one? What? The wall Wait was it the British Airways one? Oh, I don't know what you Like I said, I love opera . Now I like some of 'em, but then the ones when they're too much are like a nice one Yeah, I think you need a calorie because my friend used to work I have to be careful. She used to work for an opera company and you know the word diva now that word is diluted. They score it to anyone now. Everyone wants to die. What did it mean? Well, it means oh it means it means a female opera singer who is a diva and she said you would go in there and they would go too dry , I'm not performing tonight. I mean, that's the essential diva. That's the word. And she says, You would get that. Too dry, off like that coming then over the end of the turbine and the fur coat. I'm off like that. So that's where Diva comes from. We're like that with this, aren't we? Well soaking wet, we're ready to go. Yeah Soaking wet . Cheers . Because the thing is, like I, think gays sort of love that Diva thing, don't they? Where a straight people would just say piss off like, oh, she's like a right bitch. She'd poured a bucket of piss over me head and oh, I love it fabulously. Yeah, yeah, there is straight people out fuck off. Yeah, we do kind of validate bad behaviour, don't we? And we just call it devais. Yes, yeah. Have you ever been a Diva You haven't really got that side. You are not I'm maybe this is the bourge speaking, but you are lovable . Oh , what's happened here? I've broken a bit of your chessboard off and I feel you never seeing your bishop again? Bottoms up. Cheers . That better be a joke . So good, so good, so good . New markdowns up to seventy percent off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Stock up and stay big on shoes, tops, dresses, accessories, and more must have for summer. Join the Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices . That's why you rack . 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He's the only man I know who could run through a vineyard, open a bottle midspring and still give us tasting notes at the end. He's back is Tom Kill me Tom come back . Why? I'm contractually obliged. I have to be here. Yeah. You tell me too. That's going to be laugh. You're the OG for us. Like whenever Tom comes back, I always think, you know , like, if your teacher has been away, that's what I feel like. You're the main guy. You're the, you know, I'm like, how are we doing? And we're doing great. But no pressure today, but we've got a couple . Okay . And well, you've you got've come be youraring book. You are now an author. When did this come out? It's coming out on paperback, isn't it? Yeah, just before Christmas and yeah, a little preserved for you, Lee. Thirsy, a hundred great wines and stories. Yeah, so when you've been round the block a bit like I have in wine, there's a few funny stories and there's a few funny people. Yeah . And one of my favorite things in this is actually you've got a stamp, wine wanker approved. Because Oh and he's put, you are so you are so wine wanker approved . It's like a poisoned pen letter as well as a book but so often so often wine can be just a little bit o itty, toy and a little bit frightening, and I think and this is what bottoms up is about. Exactly. Yeah . How did you get into it all? Because obviously, like you're following on Instagram is kind of and that's something I'm presuming That' whys we got got a book. You a book? Yeah, because people but before that, let's say like free, I don't think I've ever asked you this. What did you do before it? Were you nothing? I failed a few exams. My dad was a chef and used to cart me around everywhere tasting wine age six from sort of French people with broken noses and tasting that . And then a combination of living that world , failing my exams, and then going into work for an Australian wine maker and it's all in that book and then all the little trip ups we've got along the way to me ending up here are in there. And there's suggestions in there as well for wine as well. So it's great for that. Well it says on the back as well, learn how to read a label, talk wine without sounding enough, choose wine in a restaurant, and then the last one, explain why some wine smells like your granny's cardigan. Which they do. I've never thought a minute. It sounds like you're in fringing on bottoms up Give it back up . Filth . No. Talking of filth. That's what your tour's called. Absolute filth, isn't it? And I'm going on tour. Yes. But my only fans is great That's these reviews . Absolutely, Phil . Well, you're going on tour , is this the first time you've ever done at all? So I need your help on that. I can help you with a couple of wine hacks, but you guys help me on the journey. I'm starting at all. My call starts . I am happy. I wish my audience loved You're always touring. You're always touring. You support amateur shows. So yeah, it's well, what I will say is let's start with the negative. All right, just get that out of the way. The travel . You got to just be get in your head the travel. Okay . And also , you know, sometimes you can't go back to your house because it's too far and then you're on the old trip advisor. My favorite place, I can't mention the hotel, but it was on the outskirts of Birmingham . One star review rats in Upper Case. Oh brilliant. I can't wait for this. All that to look forward to. There's a few drinks in mine as well, so that might make it easier. Yeah, you have a good glass of wine. You're gonna love it. You're gonna absolutely love it. Now listen, you know me and Lee, you're in a relationship, but you know you get people coming to the door at the stage door looking for sex. So we call 'em gag hags for that, don't we? Yeah . So what would you like would you have groupies or grapeies? Yeah and And I said Grape peace . I can't wait for this. I mean, are you happily married? At the moment, yes they're not what I'm saying. I'd just say even I get lucky. Yeah . Honestly, even I get lucky, gag . Gag hag, you must have had a gag. You've had a few gags, haven't you in your time? Well, no, not really . Well, I don't think so. I don't think the gays really do you talking about women or men? Men. Oh no , I don't know. Oh, maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe you material isn't sexy enough. No, can I just say this is a true story? I did have a stalker. I had a bit of a stalker ass. It was going to stalk you No, and no you want to play chess with me Is that why you've got the travel chessboard? He's coming, Queen . you Do know what was the most tragic about that? I heard I'll produce No stalking isn't funny. No, it's not funny. I'll tell you what a victimless crime. And I'm telling you what's not funny either. They came to see me in a show. Oh god, it gets worse. Never heard from them again. It cured their stuff cold. It cured their obsession. Oh my god, I feel gonna cry. Cure jokes made them not want to decide I was tempted to message them, is everything okay? Oh God . Could we? Okay, just checking in What was it about Mesa? Oh God. No, so listen, you're going to love being on tour. It's already sold out, has it? Are you going to have sold out? And we're going to add a few more days. It's in September and how can they buy tickets? And they can buy through live nation or through my website. So Tom . Okay, we of course you know the premise of this podcast. It's called Firstie and We're Firstie. Yeah , so . What are we doing today? Because of course for people who have never seen this podcast , we do want to learn things. Okay . We want people to take home things, and that's why we bring on experts like you. Brill. Right. We've got a couple of wines to taste because a lot of people think old wine is better than more recent wine. So can I just ask last week we talked old world versus new world? Are you meaning that or I'm talking about when the grapes are picked? Okay, so if you had like a twenty year old bottle of wine people. might Some think that is better than a two year old bottle of wine. Right. And I've bought a couple of cot D'Arons, so it's the sort of thing that nice full bodied rich wine that we can all buy in a ladder wine shop or good supermarket. One is seven years old and the other one is three years old. Are we meant to try and guess what? And you're going to you don't need to guess what's what you just need to go, I like that one. Okay. Okay, o.kay And then we're going to find out whether the older wine is more your cup of tea than the newer wine. And so this is based on people would see and go, oh it's been aged in a blah blah blah vintage. Exactly. What is classed as vintage? Well, vintage is the year that the wine is made. So how many top over into vintage? Well, everything is vintage is just a term of like, so if the wine says nineteen ninety nine, it's ninety a nine nineteen vintage wine. Oh , some of my jokes are vintage. From nineteen ninety nine, three love , I don't want them anymore. So you've got each a left and a right. If there's no malbeck on the menu, I will then go for a rome. It's a nice sort of rich juicy. I think it's the fruits and the juice. Yeah, and it's full bodied. So it's like fills the mouth with a little bit of spice and red . All right, so is this the same one as that? Yes. That's right. Nice . All right . Right. Very nice. That first one , very drinkable. So now I need to drink this and see which I prefer, basically. Is that what I'm doing? It doesn't smell as nice as this one . Oh Oh , this is giving me old curse. This is Granny's Cardigan. Yeah, it's giving you Granny's Cardigan, isn't it? This is giving me charity shop . So I preferred that first one . Yes . I'm getting a hint of mothballs. Yes. It is Granny's Gardan. That second one. Yeah. Have I missed out? No, if I hold his planner No, no, don' ve all gone. I don't want to ruin your tour. We've all gone with the modern Which one do you like? That one that the first one? Yeah, we've all gone with the wine that's three years old . So it's a cot norone made by Giga. You can buy it in all sorts of places. Delicious. It's so good. And so why is that? Why is it? Because if the fruit is brighter the flavors are sort of a crisper and fresher. Right. This whenever you get an older wine it tends the color is completely different. This is almost looking like brown. It's looking at. so it And's a w goaiteres, yeah, yeah. So I've got a coat deroin's aged seven years ago. No thanks. You go now adult the three year old. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. So you have a younger why. So you'd say, yeah. Yeah, because I would just assume the seven years was class as better. Yeah. We all think older wine is better, but actually in very, very few cases it is. Mostly we want a nice fresh fruity wine. And we all would much prefer drinking that than. Yeah . And it's interesting about vintage because I thought vintage was just classed as an old wine, but vintage just means the year it was made. Yeah. And some people think old vintage wine is just it doesn't mean anything at all. I think that is so good. Y.es It's the best coat d'Arome that you can get that I think. Well, you said me again. Tell me again And what were we retailing that at? twelve quid in Sainsbury's? Wow. Yeah. That's amazing. It's really taste for the difference Wow . So there we go. But it's really, really tasty. Yeah. Okay, lovely. So that's the first ripe thing to do. Okay, and you've got another hack for us. I've got another hack. So there'll be loads of these hacks on tour, aren't it? You're really gonna people are going to come out feeling like it's gonna be hack tastic the tour. Really good. And a few drinks with it. Are you going to have guests? I'm going to have my son Fred, who's helped me sort of become this . We should come along. Would you have us there? You're definitely coming along and please first please and will you be there. Yeah. And maybe you can give me some help, some tips. Oh my god, she won't turn the tables so it's like I'm bringing in two experts. Absolutely . And we can get maybe go to Edinburgh. Yeah. And bring your travel chess . Well , there's one piece in a single one. I'll find your bishop . Yeah no, you're gonna love it. You're going to get like the bug because there's nothing like a live audience like that. Well, you are good. You're a fan, you're good. I've got ten us excited about wine. So listen, if people go to see your show, they're going to come out as, yeah. You are good, you are good. I mean, you're working on her at the minute. I mean, there's some work in progress shows. He came and did , oh, wait, no, he didn't. Okay Okay, he's got something to get off his chest. Right. When we film this podcast , we didn't drink a lot . So So drink, responding. And then the odd time we have had a non alcoholic wine which slipped through the net . And so I after the last record I had I'm at that age now. I'm pushing fifty. I went, oh just close my eyes. Asleep woke up at eight, fuck. I meant to be on stage at eight thirty at Lee's gig . I'd slept through. Yeah, bless him. Bessl him. Did you make it? Well, do you know how I didn't make it? I wasn't listed in. I was gonna turn up and just as a surprise to dirt thing. But you know, I even did that thing. Do you remember sometimes when you used to have a proper job like in the call center you'd phone in sick and you know ? And my voice was like, he rang me as if I hadn't been with him all day. Lee , Lee You know what? I'm like, I was with you in an hour and a half. I can'. m ill There was something in that tuna sandwich . You drank four bottles of wine . So the next hack is a lot a lot of us think if it's got a screw cap, it's not a good wine. Yeah, people are like that. Do you think that? Yeah, but well I used to think that, but I was told by I always remember my dear friend Barbara Lwaaiteith told me that was honest. The screw top doesn't matter at all. So I did watch that episode. So I should have known that this isn't another winehouse. Well, I play anyway. No, what I would say is you didn't see the things we had to cut out. Oh, I was getting personal with my questions. Are we? I did get a bit Jeremy Kyle I said when he asked for a DNA test, I said, No, leave Marba alone . We strapped it to a large detail . Apparently I'm her son . Things she learned. Right. Okay, so screw cap . Do you like a cabinet souvenir? Oh Oh, so I love a cabinet called a cab salv. Yeah, I love a cab salv. Right. So this 'cause I think that's quite like, again, and I know we've talked about this loads, but we just we're sick of just going Malbeck, Malbeck, Malbeck. And I remember one of your first things you said to us is if you're picking a Malbeck, you know that the price is going to be hoked up. Well, generally they're always good and we'll pay for them . Cabinet Sauvignon just takes that Malbec flavor and makes it more interesting, more complex and just really great. The thing about the screw cap that you'll definitely get the flavor of the wine that the winemaker wants you to taste. So if you put a cork in it, it can have a reaction with the wine that's not great. Oh that was I think that's what Barbara will have said she said she'll have said that. Screw top is risk adverse. So there's good reason to do that. Delicious. But then actually there's really good wine underneath the screw cap. Do you want to know what this is? It's a cabinet seven years ago from Chile. Oh, and it's a silver medal winner at the IWSC International Wine and Spirits Competition. It's delicious is that like the Oscars? Is that like a what's the best award? So the best is either Decanter or IWSC or IWC , you can watch me YouTube. There's three award bodies that are really important. You get invited them and you like Angelina Jolie, you will wear leg bomb, you wear something back or strungness. Yeah . Yeah. The power of wine can transform nations. Yeah. The winner is . It's exactly like that. Have you ever done a speech? Have you ever accepted an award? I've yet to have an award. I'm sure I've gotten an award. You're so good. Okay, give us an award, Alan. Now, I'm sure I've had an award, but I can't think of one, but when a wine gets an award, it's really good. Yeah . And that is the right side of Tenquid . And an award winning. Yeah, it's absolutely brilliant wines. An supermarket. You can get that in San Brees. It's their taste of the difference. And it is just if you pop that into a decanter and put it on the table, no one would know it's a supermarket. So my dad bought me a decanter. Yeah, and I travel one And great . That's a good idea for the bottoms of Train. Not good. A travel dec anter. As you know, with this podcast, listeners sending questions and you can do that by at bottoms up show. If you want to message us on the bottoms up account or email us bottoms up at listen.co. UK. We've had one in, okay. The first one is, while we're on the subject of decanters, okay, how do you clean a decanter? Quite difficult. Magic balls is how you clean a decanter. So they're these little ball bearings that you pour into your decanter and you swirl them around and you can get them on Amazon for nothing. And then that cleans the bottom of the decanter. You hold a sieve and then pour the magic balls into the sieve and you got a spark ly decanter. So is there still wine on the balls? Can you suck the balls? Of course you do. Of course, then you suck the balls dry . Thank you. Thank you for listening to our accessible wire podcast. Answering the question that you want . Second ly , I just want to have a look at the w iring in there in Allen's head. It's a short used . Don't make sense. Kate wants to know, lovely Kate's sent in a question saying when you pour champagne or fizz . Yeah , do you have to tilt the glass? What's the tilting of the glass do? So it stops it frothing over the top. So if you're also opening a bottle of champagne, you know how you did that earlier and it all fizzed out the top. Yeah. Not that you did it wrong, but if you didn't suck the top of it if it all floods out if you're at a party. Yeah, so if you fancy a suck, open it like vertically . All right, but if you don't want to do it before you've had the balls in your mouth . But if you don't have your sac you have forty five degrees and twist the bottle not the cork and it won't fizz out the top. Right. Why is that? Because all of the fizz wants to to the top. Yeah, and if it's at an angle it will try to go to the top of the bottle and just move out along the top of the bottle. And then on the glass, the same thing so it will just pour in and the fizz goes up rather than amazing. Okay so it is forty five degrees. Forty five degrees unless you want to suck . Remember that as well. Recent, Tom , we also have dilemmas that are sent in , as you know, so we have realized we're not possibly the best always at solving them just ourselves. So we thought if we've got an expert here, do you mind staying with us to solve a viewer dilemma? I'd love to stay please stay . Well, we've all been there in the supermarket aisle going, Which wine do I buy? Well don't fret anymore because we're here to help. Aren't we Lee ? Lee Lee, we're sorry we are indeed but this isn't about a wine to drink this week. It is a dilemma that's slightly different. I'm just going to read this. It says hi, Alan, Lee and, Tom . I have some boring people in my life that I want removing , and I'm always up for a bit of drama. I love it when characters in shows throw a drink into the faces of the des erving . However, between Sex and the City and Angelica Houston in Smash, love smash. I'm thinking this is a homosexual who's written this . I'm going to put my neck on the line Dry martinis feel a bit passe . It is a home. No straight man uses the word passe , divine or vile. I'll say that. Oh, you never forget a straight person vile. If you ye,ah I'll tell you what , ladies at home, if your husband has said, Oh, that's vial, he's gay . Thanks for that. Marriage wreck . Can you recommend an ideal wine to throw that makes me look fabulous and the recipient run a mile. This is regards Janet from HR, which is apparently their drag name. And this is from down under. It's in Australia. All right . So Janet from H I nothing says performance review quite like a well timed drink swill. If a matini is two sex in the city season two, then we loved that. Liza Manelli and Sex in the City season two. Now brought your hands up . Then we need wine. Oh yeah. Oh , you should have a ring on is then we need wines that deliver maximum theatrical splash , visual drama and damaged reputation . So have you ever done that though? Have you ever said how would you do it? I have a good mind to throw this all over you. Oh yeah, you could do that if really. Yeah, you wouldn't do like a I've never done that. I have quite a camp existence but I've never gone get out. Yeah, you wouldn't waste the drink, that's it. No, I would throw it and then go round and lick them . Oh my god inception . My friend Arlie years ago we were in this bar and someone got a drink thrown over them and she was so drunk she pulled out a twenty pound note and just started wiping their face with it trying to help and the woman was so fuming I was like, Holly put the money away. Even dabbing her dad with a twenty pound no. How would you do it, Tom Have you done it? Have you done it? Get out. Get out pub. Yes . Get out my toe. No, I haven't do it, but I want to do it now. Yeah, I think it's wonderful. It is the best wine to throw in someone's face. Well, I think I wouldn't do it red because you're looking possibly there at a lawsuit. Yeah, but Janet feels strong there. She wants to be, she's cross and I would do it and she's in Australia. Yeah . So you want to watch it. I really wanted to do a dark red boom . Because there's that famous scene with Alexis, Joan Collins and Dinah Carroll on Dinasy, which I used to run home from school on a Friday to see. I don't know why I ran because it was on at nine o'clock . I had to get there quick . And then she goes, Alexis, this champagne is burnt . Can you burn champagne? Yes. She would not have Alexis' champagne because it was burnt. And she was like, get out. Right, let's get these open. As you're opening them, I'm going to read. And actually the funny thing about what we did open this one forty five degree angle and not cover alone in red wine. Yes. Okay. Don't throw them at me a bit . Oh, don't call our gas a bitch. I just said like where this is going. This is what's it? Is it beige ? Cream . We fall fast . We don't have tasting notes out in this hell. We don't have tasting notes. We have not performing today throwing notes, apparently. All right, so this is a sparkling shabbits cheraz. Jacob Rabbits is Jacob's Creek, twelve pound fifty currently. And apparently nothing says iconic chaos like red wine that explodes on contact and not if you're pouring it very well done. So we've got here bubbles, deep col our and a tendency to spray unpredictably perfect for an ambush at the staff kitchen party . So I've never had a Jakob's Creek where it's like that bubbly. So So throwing notes rather than tasting notes, we've got a frothy splash radius. This would make an awful mess. Dramatic staining potential and a slightly sticky finish which we all have a sticky finish which provides lingering revenge. It's giving real housewives of Melbourne. Katie Chaotic. Which of the three are we ? Who's which? Camp, Katy and Chaotic? Anyway, I don't answer that. What we think camp. That's really good. We've got a yeah, we've got to remember this.'s It so fruity, isn't it? Yeah, I love it. I think for me, it's the fruitiness, but also it's not about the tasting. Yes. It's about the throwing. And look at the color this is an okay, so this is really about the throwing. That's gonna make an awful mess on Allan's shirt. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's gonna be sticky and like once they clean him up , he'll still feel a bit sticky and a bit like yeah, he'll need a shower. He can't just get cleaned up, you know I actually think your outfit would be improved by having rose prone robbing. Well, in that case let's move on to the rose because we move on to a Rose Provence, all right? So let's not give our verdict yet, but yeah, this is dangerous. This is like if you really are . Jacob's Creek as well, I didn't know they had a sparkling cheraz. It's a big thing in Australia. They love sparkling cheraz. Yeah. Why do they ? With a barbecue summer because it's easy to drink it in the summer and it's really it's very fruity, fresh. Because we've said that, you know, sometimes the sun comes out and we're like, Oh, let's have like a nice bottle of red and then you're asleep and yeah. But that's always served cool like cold and it's refreshing. Really fresh. Really good. I like that. And you didn't think you'd like a spotling red? I stand corrected. So is this an espirie? Esperior? Esperi? Espray ana, which is where you get the really lovely salmon pink light ros from the one that does really like. Well, it says it's a passive aggressive splash. That is the wine equivalent of oh come on, now it's going too far. How can a wine be passive aggressive? It's the wine equivalent of an as per my last email. That's Pasag, isn't it? That's not Pasag. What is it? Again? It's lush. But we're talking about throwing it. Oh, we're talking throwing, yeah. 'Cause pale pink rose that looks deceptively polite until it's airborne . The throwing notes I've had it's a chic pale covered arc through the air, a very instagramable assault . It leaves the thrower looking refined and expensive. You're so angry . You don't mind getting rid of the coats to provence. You're like, You know what? Have my coat de Provence. No stainage really. You're not going to worry about that stainage because you don't want to build from them going, actually I'm charging you . I would frow this only if yeah you were short on cash and you didn't want a expensive bill. Yeah , a drag cleaning bill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've not even tasted it. Shall I? It's lovely . N thatot it's about the tast ing, but it's really clean, fresh, fruity. I don't know if I could drink that one to drink. We want to say as well. eleven pound fifty. Is it ? Yeah. Currently , it's never good look. Okay . Oh , that's nice. And you always want to drink these wines young. So twenty twenty four. All right. Shall we move on to the final one? It is the one. Azy Sharaz, we are going all in with the Yalomba Galway. All right, it's nine pounds, a second chiraz because Janet, you're from Australia . On a homeland with a massive inky cheraz that looks like you've heard molten d dramairectly from your desk in the HR department. Throwing notes, are it Janet needs counseling ? I think this is Janice . She wants this one. It's a deep purple splash which equals instant villain origin story. Stains like a legal document and a stain that becomes part of office folklore for years to come. This is pure soap opera meltdown energy. If you're gonna commit to a workplace drama. Maybe I thought that writing an angry email . This is a lot maybe about a different career. The thing is though, these wines are all delicious. They don't want to waste them. That's the thing. Sometimes we've had wine here and we've had like yeah. And you go, Oh, wouldn't I throwin' that over someone? But this is I wouldn't. No. Here we go. So this is big Aussie chiras. You like the smell of rich and pepper He's not throwing it. Singing opera again. He's excited. Yeah, take that Tim of his challenge . That's me. This is delicious . What's going on? Isn't it? It's Ferras Shiraz This would be the Molebeck Sheraz I'm thinking of it. Well, it's for your Ancabinet Sauvignon. Yeah . That's your world . So what are we going to go for? Let's talk we've got to remember that it's the dilemma, it's the throwing. So actually why don't we well firstly I think why don't we talk about taste because people do listen to this podcast and might be inspired for what they want to drink. ch Thiseraz is delicious and that actually is nine pounds. Really good. Really good. Yumber . You lumbered with it. You're lumber with that . It's rice. It's Australian. So you'd have that with a steak or a really nice rich main meal would be delicious. Really good. So actually, Janet could throw the wine and then throw a big slab of sirloin over her. She could just finish her plate and throw the plate as well. She's wearing three courses. She looks like Lady Garda. So that is delicious to taste. I would say that is I wouldn't waste on a person. You know what? I'm gonna cut to the chase . Delicious, delicious, that is delicious, but let's go for a sticky finish. Yeah, yeah, I agree actually. I think you've got double the danger there with the Sharad, the sparkling sharads, 'cause you've got the red and you've got the stickiness . And it's really it's a fun wine, isn't it? It's a really sort of joyful dry way just have a little go and then throw it. Have a little go and then have a throw. So one Janet from HR throws the sparkling ch iraz and she gets hauled up to HR the next day. She'll be meeting herself, won't she? She'll be judging herself. Janet, you've been a bad girl. Yes. So we're gonna go for the Jacobs Creek Sparkling Wine as modelled there by lovely Tom Gilby , Janet, best of luck . And as always don't just throw your wine, drink it, but always be aware. Go to drinkaware.co. UK for more information. If you've enjoyed this episode, then why not join the bottoms up crew? Follow us on Spotify and Apple and you'll get a brand new episode dropped your phone every week. Yeah, you don't want to miss an episode so please do follow us and also if you can, we would super super, super love it if you left us a five star review. It really helps growing the podcast at bottoms up show if you want to get in touch as well or bottoms up at listen..co uk go into it now . Thanks for listening and watching and don't forget to please drink responsibly. Bottoms up with Alan Karan Lee is a listen production. Bottoms up in an Aussie accent. Let's do that. Go give me a little taster. Bottoms up . Go do it. Oh, it's only it. There's only one thing left. All side. Bottoms up. Bottom s are Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to your summer. 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