Mothering Sunday and Final Moments

Just a quick note before we start, this episode contains strong language, references to racist incidents and discussions of cancer and death. If that's something you'd rather avoid right now, you can listen to some of the other series that are a bit lighter in our back catalogue, and you can also check the show notes for more information and links to support So Matt, I'm in London. you're in Leeds. How things? How's the weather I think we've got a bit of a Te delay. The Tour show's going well. Very foreboding. realal dark clouds starting to gather around me now. Oh Lord, sorry to hear that. Well, just to warn you it's actually quite an emotional episode today, so just checking, you're okay with that Oh, couldn't be better unusual response. OkayK good. I think maybe we're actually experiencing some technical difficulties. I think that might be what's happening. I know. u Im trying not to cry already. I It's just the line,'s just because when we're in the studio together. I mean, you have to be dramatic We'll get over it. M. Sorry Matt, this is really annoying. I'm going to go Hest said I think there's a bit oh, I think there's a bit of a delay of man Sorry, I can't really hear you, but I miss you August two thousand eight Mumbai, India Jade wipes her brow, takes her iPhone out of her pocket, frowns at the black screen. It's useless here in India. She turns her face to the window, watches as the crowded streets inch by. Roasting spices, exhaust fumes, and the sweet scent of jasmine fills the air Street vendors shouting, rickshores and cars weaving in chaos. This was supposed to be a new beginning, a chance to make amends to the people of India and reset her career Instead, she's on her way back home after only two days in the Indian celebrity Big Brother House Tears prick her eyes as she imagines her momum stroking her head She thinks of her two boys, four and five years old, and imagines the three of them snuggled up in the warmth of a duvet. She wishes she was with them now The cat pulls up in front of an imposing hotel Jade takes in its hand carved sandstone arches and towering terracotta domes But she feels leaden as she follows the producer into the grand lobby. Once inside her room, she shuts the door. She's desperate to talk to her mom All of a sudden, she doesn't know what to say Jade collapses on the bed. Her flight's not until the morning. She tries to stop her thoughts from spiraling She reaches out for the phone with trembling hands. T too her relief, Jackie picks up Ma'am. Jackie's voice comes through crackily Indistinct Dide Did you hear what happened I'm in a caravan in the middle of nowhere, love. Relief floods her for a second She'd forgotten that her mum's on holiday, camping with a friend then reality crashes back. Tears fill her eyes She feels herself start to sob as her hand grips around the phone Jade again thinks of her boys. Her m, her family She glances at her terrified face in the mirror Jade knows she has to stay strong But right now She's never been so scared And she has no idea how she's going to fight this Dide Jade closes her eyes as she takes a breath and hears herself mutter the words she'd been told, in front of cameras just a few hours earlier Mum I've got cancer. And I'm coming home There it is. This corner kit could be a big one There's the cross He rises to meet it and It's a Soccer's biggest tournament is here. and Eerprise is turning every corner kick goal into your chance to win a car. The moment a corner kick is called, post on X with hashtag on every corner hashtag sweepstickakes and tag Enerprise. If it's a corner kick goal, you could win Winners may pick up their cars at an enterprise or an enterprise car sales location on a corner near them With over a thousand corner kicks expected, that's a lot of chances to win. For more details and an additional chance to win, visit on everyverycorner. com No purchase necessary for legal residents of the fifty US states in DC, Puerto Rico, Canada, Ireland, the United Kingdom, France, Germany, and Spain who are twenty one and older. Sweepstakes Es july nineteenth, twenty twenty six Void wherear prohibited. Prize awarded if a corner kick goal is scored. For entry details and official rules, visit onverycorner. com I'm Raza Jeoffrey, and in the new season of The Spy Who, we go back in time to meet Benedict Arnold, the spy who betrayed the American Revolution. As America fights for freedom from Britain, Arnold emerges as one of the rebel's greatest generals. But when his loyalty is pushed to the limit, he turns spy vises a plot to shatter the rebellion and make George Washington a prisoner Follow the Spy who now, wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also listen to the full season of the Sy Wh who betrayed the American Revolution early and ad free on Aud I'm Alice Levine and I'm Matt Ford And this is British Scandal from Audible Originals O last episode was hard. We saw in the space of a few days, Jade Goody G from sort of the nation's sweetheart, a kind of working class hero. She was loovably dafted, people found her ignorance charming And then she becomes someone caught on camera being openly racist How much of her own downfall do you think she was responsible for But it's tricky because she's responsible for what comes out of her mouth and she makes choices in that house. She says things and she's definitely hot headed. so there are moments of tension where her personality definitely escalates things. But of course We know a lot more about reality TV now than we did then. We'd be naive if we didn't think that these sparks flying weren't by design. These producers have deliberately created this melting pot of cultures, of perspectives, of personalities in order that there are explosive moments. then You emerge as a contestant from that cocoon, not knowing what sort of reaction you're going to get, you know, that tension before the doors open And you could be a hero, you could be a villain, you could be somewhere in between She stands in front of that door, totally ignorant of what lies on the other side of it. She's got no idea that there's no one there. The scale of the problems she's caused She's really got no appreciation of how her comments have impacted other human beings and she is walking out of a tey show and into something way bigger and way more dangerous So quite a tricky question, then, what options does she have from here Well, the short answer obviously is not many because she just doesn't have any control anymore Well, let's see who takes the steering wheel, shall we in the future of Jade Goody? This is episode three, The shhiniest star eighteen months earlier Norfolk, two thousand seven Jade stares out of the kitchen window at the driving rain Bobby runs up behind her, wraps his arms around her knees. She turns around and tickles him. You wantanna go outside? Bobby jumps up and down in excitement. Jade reaches for his raincoat, puts it on, sees Freddy sitting on the floor, struggling with his wellies. All right, come here, let me help ya She opens the door to the garden, watches as the boys charge out into the mud They love it here. Since checking out of the priory and heading to Norfolk with Jack and the kids, family time feels possible here out in the countryside. But whenever she imagines going back to their home in Essex, she feels her stomach clench She's lost so much already. Her perfume taken off the shelves, her autobiography pulped, her deal with Living TV axed She's even under investigation by the police for racial hatred Things have gone so bad so quick. We think of cancel culturers a modern phenomenon, really only in the age of social media But she was effectively getting canceled by the tabloids Yes, and in a time before social media, the tabloids were actually a way that she made money. as we learned last episode, she was setting up these candid photo shoots. It's basically broken her business model. The way that she is able to monetize her life has now turned against her comes into the kitchen Srubpss a be. leans against the open fridge door There's nothing to eat. What we're going to do for tea Jade feels her heart beat faster Curse is the fact that Jack can't drive We're going have to face the basters sometime She knows Jack's right She can't hide away from the public forever She just wishes she could forget the horrors of the last few weeks, which keep replaying in her head. Unbidden, a series of numbers roll before her eyes A whopping eighty two percent of eviction votes were for her Eight million people watched her leave the house OffcOom received over forty thousand complaints At the time of going to press, that is the third most complaints that OcOM have ever had. Oh boy. So what is above it in the league? Do you remember Jerry Spring of the Opera? I do. It's very controversial. And of course, that moment where Pers Morgan loses it on Good Morning Britain in regards to Meghan Markle. Okay, so she's Premier League off com level Half an hour later, Jade parks outside a shop kills the engine. forces herself to take a deep breath. She promised the psychologist at the Priory, she'd have outpatient therapy sessions Instead, here she is in a supermarket car park in the middle of nowhere, feeling like she's about to have a panic attack Jade pulls her cap down low over her forehead gets out of the car and heads into the shop She's picking out a jar of curry sauce when she feels a hand on her shoulder. Jade, Jade turns her heart in her mouth, braces herself I'm sorry for what you went through. You didn't deserve that. Before Jade can reply, the woman envelops her in a hug Jade melts into it, feels the tears begin to flow. She runs her hand over her eyes, gives the woman a grateful smile Heads to the checkout She hears people shouting after her Jade, keep your up Jade, we love you Uncrew the press, Jade. Keep your head up Okay, so this is interesting because this is completely at odds with what we've just been talking about about the offc complaints. There are a lot of things going on here. Yeah, I wonder if it's a specifically British thing or whether it's a human thing that you can simultaneously think that someone has crossed the line. You can even worry that you think they're bigoted also realize that they are vulnerable and that Once they have had a level of punishment, that enough is enough and you still kind of care about them. Absolutely. There'll be people that see her as an underdog. There'll be people that think she's been manipulated by the TV show and by the tabloids. There will be people who think she's a racist. There will also be people that think it's PC gone mad. You should be able to say these things. I can't believe it's been blown up to you know, what we're seeing in the papers Alice, if I'm ever in trouble, I want you to be my PR woman As the checkout woman scans her items Jade imagines what it would be like to move here Disappear from the public eye That' be a one hundred and six seventy five Lev Jade stares at the figure on the till Ive hundred your quip for a couple of caves in a curry The checkout woman shrugs apologetically Jade types in her pin, thinks of her dwindling bank balance Fame was how she provided for her kids. It's just not enough for a few people in a supermarket in Norfolk to like her She has to face up to her demons. She has to get her career back on track, which means she has to get the nation to fall in love with her all over again August two thousand eight Ushire, Essex Jade sits on the lounge sofa, iPhone in hand anxiously speed dials her new agent She's returned to Essex to relaunch her career. but her supposed PR guru keeps ignoring her. Once again, it goes straight to voicemail Hello, this is Max Clissid If you know me, leave me a message. If you don't, Max Clifford was the number one celebrity PR guy And as we also know deeply scandalous man himself Yes, now the late Max Clifford, obviously convicted of sexual offences In his heyday was sort of the mogul of scandal actually. he's been adjacent to many of the scandals we've covered. He counted his clients, Rebecca Lewz, Simon Cowell, Paul Burrell. You just can't imagine that he's got Jade's mental health and best interests at the heart of his work here just to illustrate potentially his lack of professional morals, At an earlier time Shilper was his client Jade hangs up She decides she's going to go to Max's office in person Pitch her latest plan to restart her career Conquering Hollywood Jade grabs the car keys from the coffee table stands. which is hit by a wave of pain clutches her stomach in surprise. She rushes to the bathroom, lowers her knickers. Her eyes widen as she sees theirre soaked through with blood She grabs her phone from her pocket Sttyles nine, nine, nine But her vision blurs. She stumbles, falls, collapses onto the floor. Hello, can you hear me A few hours later, Jade blinks up at the bright white light above her She jumps as a curtain next to her is drawn back Hello, Miss Goody. I'm one of the doctors here Jade tries to sit up but feels a tug at her arm. She looks around, sees that she's hooked up to an IV drip The doctor presses her fingers together We think you've had a miscarriage Jade scoffs. Not unless I'm the Virgin Mary. I haven't had sex for months Dror Franz picks up her notes Okay, okay. We're gonna run a few more tests Jade reaches for her phone. She doesn't know what time it is. Has she missed picking up the kids? But it's not the nursery. Max I've got something for you, love Jade tries to focus. She's finally got Max on the phone. Max, I'm not sure I can talk right now But he cuts in. They want you on big buss Big bs. What? We found in sugar. Jade hears Max laugh It's the Indian version a celebrity Big Brother. Jade feels her mouth dry. Brother. Jade squeezes her eyes shut trying to ward off the memories This day is starting to feel like some kind of waking nightmare They're offering a hundred thousand pounds I'm just not sure I can put myself through that again Come on, Go, this is exactly what you need. Jade swallows, unsure You wantanna know who's the Indian Svena Sade stares at the nurses bustling around her It's Shilpa Seti. Shilpa' a host. Perfect. It's the chance to make things right, Jade I mean, obviously, from James's perspective, alarm bells are ringing. But this is actually from Max Cliffer's perspective, a mega deal And he's getting her back on a big show with a massive payday. and the thought that Jade Goody and Chill Pachette are then reunited on Big Brother Indian B brother. I mean, it's almost like a world title fight. This is like the thing everyone wants to see. Re Jade lets Max's words settle Maybe he's right. Maybe this is her chance to finally put what happened on Celebrity Big Brother behind her. Jade feels a stab of pain breaking through the medication. She decides She's got to do this. She's going to India Boss Studio, seventeenth of august two thousand eight. Mumbai, India Chil Pachchetti studies herself in the dressing room mirror She adjusts her crimson red Sarree, revealing her toned midriff Since winning Celebrity Big Brother, Shilpper has become an international household name. She's even launched her own perfume and yoga DVD And now she's landed the chance to host Big boss in Mumbai. It's the biggest reality show in India and she's the face of it She's determined to use this opportunity to solidify her position as the new darling of British and Indian power players Silbert was absolutely massive at this point. She was a real darling in Britain as well and was just This incredibly glamorous icon. I mean she was probably the most famous woman on British TV for a while and was seen ass like Maybe not quite Princess Diana, but certainly a sort of very beautiful woman who we had put on a pedestal But today Shilpa is about to meet an old rival. Jade Goody Silpa hasn't seen Jade since the infamous eviction Publicly, she's forgiven Jade for what happened But now with the world about to watch their reunion The memories come flooding back She knows Jade has been paid a huge fee for coming to India and that the network is counting on drama So this is interesting because on one side you could say Shilpera's got all the power. this is her moment. If she wants kind of very public revenge or she wants to take Jade to task, she's the much more eloquent one of the two. So she could really run circles around Jade if she wanted to So one way of looking at it is she's one. you know, she's in the Divina seat But for me, There's this other way of looking at it, which is This is the biggest opportunity I've had in my career and you're asking me to have a face off with a woman who racially abused me on TV. like it doesn't feel like a win. No, and the ethics of reality Telly are murky enough anyway, and you're giving her tantalizing amount of power because she's on home turve. She's the host. I mean It would take a tremendous amount of self restraint. to not use that power in some way. The sound of the producer calling snaps Silpper out of her thoughts Silpin nervously adds more powder to her nose She tells herself she only has to greet Jade and welcome her to the show before Jade enters the house She just hopes Jade doesn't walk out with a bindy on her forehead or greet her with Namaste. She follows the producer down a corridor towards the studio and live audience Silper braces herself Picturing the screaming matches, the insults hurled at her. Shilpa blinks as a flash of Jade appears in her mind. finger pointing in Silper's face Jade's open mouth in roar Go back to the slums. You're not some princess. you're a liar and a fake She' fuck waller She'll put the ropeer Fixing a smile on her face, Shila walks out onto the stage in front of the cheering crowd She feels the heat of the cameras on her face. Let's welcome our next guest, Jay Goody Shilper glances nervously over to the wings of the set. sees the curtains parked And a woman with brown hair appear At first, she doesn't realize it's Jade Chhopper blinks, The woman standing next to her looks fragile, nervous Silpa forces herself to embrace Jade, and as she does, she's sure she feels her tremble Shilpa takes her hand Shade, what do you want the Indian people to know Jade stumbles over her words The people of India only saying a small amount of me, I want them to say There's more to me than what I saw Shila suddenly remembers what it was like to be the only Indian in the celebrity Big Brother house. How isolated and alone she felt Jade is going to be in the same position as she was Only she doesn't even speak Hindi She feels herself soften I hadn't even thought of that that you're in a foreign country. You'd be paranoid about what your fellow housemates and the viewing public would think, especially after what had happened between you and Schilper. And then on top of that There's a language barrier? Yes, people would have been speaking English mainly but a kind of hybrid of Hindian English. and so immediately, linguistically you're on the outside Chilpa gives her another hug feeleels Jade's body shake She watches as Jade trips as she heads off the stage writing herself with a nervous giggle. Shilper remembers reading about Jade's contracts being cancellled after Celebrity Big Brother how she was so depressed, she had to go to a clinic. This version of Jade seems so very different from the loud mouthed woman she knew a year ago. She feels a wave of empathy. She realizes for the first time Just how taxing the experience has been for both of them and Schilper makes a decision She isn't going to give the producers what they want to pitch two women against one another inststead, She's going to do everything she can to help Jade to show her just how kind and hospitable people of India can be Day two in the Big boss house, Mumbai, India Jade stands in the garden, swinging her hips from side to side Trying to recreate the dance moves, Big boss made her learn the previous night She glances around at the others, who clap along, egging her on Jade bursts out laughing, a bit out of breath. I'm trying. I'm trying She gives it another go, bigger this time, more confident. Look at me. I'll be in Bollywood Nick. She collapses into giggles as the group cheers. She's having the best time. Everyone's been so kind, from Shilper on the outside to the housemates in here Someone calls something out to her in Hindi. She doesn't quite catch it, but she grins anyway They all look up as the big brother voice calls Jade to the diary room. She shrugs to the others. Don't go anywhere. I'm coming back She heads inside, still laughing to herself, as she pushes the door open, expecting to be greeted by the signature disembodied voice Instead, she sees a producer she vaguely remembers from when she landed in Mumbai He looks awkward as he hands Jade a mobile phone U Jade, your doctor in London wants to talk to you Jade frowns, confused. They told us she was fine to travel Is it some kind of trick for the show? producer shakes his head. Hello. The voice on the other end of the line sounds distant. Jade feels her mouth dry as she recognizes the voice We've had the results back on your bio. here She's had abnormal smear tests before They've always just burnnt off the dodgy cells Okay done as soon as I'm back Doctor interrupts Jade's hand sweats on the phone. me Jade looks around producer has vanished This don't make no sense. She's having a great time making friends. For first time in weeks, things are going well She can't break the terms of her contract She stares at the blinking eye of the camera tells herself she must check they're not recording this It's only a few weeks till I get home. What's so bad that I've gott to leave now Jade She feels herself slipping to the floor Sir Cancer is something that happens to old people She's only twenty seven She thinks of her mom Jack Two beautiful boys Ba B Freddie Jade presses the phone tighter desesperate day after tomorrow. Jade stares at her reflection in the mirror blinking red light behind. as she hears herself mutter He's gota be some kind of mistake. Being told you' got cancer is bad enough being told on the phone in a foreign country has to be the worst way to find out. Devastating I remember when I was diagnosed, I just said to my wife, I need to go for a whiskey now. did you? We werere in Glasgow. We we just went to this bar in the center of a town and I got a pi and got a whisky and we sat in the window, was right Well, things are going to change for a bit, but it really helped Having her there and having whiskey there And the thought of being alone without your wife and without whisky, I mean It wasn't thinking about How do you cope with anything? And you drank throughout your treatment, that became a daily crutch. 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Five months later, january two thousand nine Max Slifford smashes his tennis racket down Fuck His game'es all over the place today Max reaches for his phone. He hopes it's not Simon Cowell again. How many times has he got to tell him All publicity is good publicity. Max Clifford The voice on the other end of the line is familiar But it's not Simon. It's a journalist from the News of the World. How's Jade's chemo going, Max Max frowns. I hear she's losing her hair. Jade told him that she'd woken up on New Year's Day to find clumps of her hair on the pillow. But this shouldn't be public knowledge Look, Jade's taking some time at the moment. But the journal snaps back If you can get as an exclusive deal for the first picks, we'll pay a lot Max swears under his breath. He should have spoken with Jade first If Jade is packed without hair, any deal will be dead This obviously feels deeply unethical. and regular listeners to the show will know the sorts of things the news of the world got up to There is part of you that thinks, well Jade had already effectively made the decision that She wants to make as much money as possible. and you think, well, she's going to be phhotographed anyway Why shouldn't she get financial state in her own story Or am I starting to sound likeike a terrible PR person. I mean, you sound exactly like Max Clifford And if Max happens to make a bundle of cash at the same time That is merely a byproduct I'll get back to you Max hangs up strides to the net to meet his opponent. G got a guy Beat you next time. Back in his office, Max's assistant rattles off his missed calls The sun, the mirror, the mail, all after Jade Any luck Rachina Jade's away on holiday with her mum and the kids He doesn't know if she's up for making a deal like this Not yet, I left a message. Max opens up his emails Stares at the figure he's received from the News of the world He raises his eyebrows He snatches up his phone She's gonna to want to hear this This time, Jade dswers Ione all to die. Max drums his fingers on the desk. He needs to tread carefully. B bit of a weird one, Jade. U G of journos Asking about you with no hair Max bites his lip as Jade falls silent He knows Jade is going through the hardest time of her life On the cancer and the chemo, but her partner Jack is in prison convicted of assaulting a taxi driver with a golf club Max can't afford to break her trust Then, he hears her chuckle. They want my bl de, do they? Tell ' them they won't have to wait long Max exhales Just make sure you're wearing a swimming cap or headscarf. Con't let see it too soon A? I'm going to lose me air. M as well m some money off it. Jade hangs up, leaving Max grinning She's got the right attitude, that girl If she's got to go through hell, she may as well come out the other side with something to show for it. He's going to make her the most beloved celeb in Britain even more than before. And he's going to make them both stinking rich . january twenty seventh, two thousand nine, outside HMP Weyland, Norfolk Jade rubs her bald head as she waits outside the prison gates. Jack's been locked away for the last five months He was her rock when she got her diagnosis. But she's been through surgery, radiotherapy, chemotherapy all without him That is a nightmare. Because going through those things is hard enough, goingo through it alone I can't imagine how hard that is. You'd also be furious because you'd be like, I'm having quite a bad time right now if you could keep all of the beatings with golf clubs until after I've recovered. We all need an outlet, you know we all need a hobby. just that on ice just while I go through a nightmare, if that's cool Gates open And she sees Jack standing there Jade fixes a smile on her face She's worried things won't be the same She just wants to feel beautiful again, desired might not even fancier anymore She self consciously brushes her bald head But Jack walks straight over, takes her in his arms Kisses are on the lips Love you Jade feels her fear, give way a little Don't mind me looking like an egg Jack holds Jade to arm's length. Consider her Tasty egg bd kind of suits you. What about you, though? You look white as a ghost without your fake tenan. Jack laughs Let's get out of there I want to get the boys something Jade smiles. It's good to have Jack back A few hours later, Jade watches from the kitchen window as Jack and the boys have a kick about in the garden Bobby and Freddie are grinning from ear to ear. With Freddy still clutching the cuddly toy monkey, Jack got him from Tys or us while Bobby's crocodile watches from the sidelines She hasn't told the boys about the cancer. They're too little She wants to protect them from all of that She fell into the garden pond a few months ago, so she told them she'd swallowed tadpoles, and that's what's making her sick comes in from the garden, breathing hard. Pass me a glass of water, will you Jade can feel Jack's eyes on her registering concern. You're okay She swallows. She can't lie to him. to say the cancer spread She blurts out I've got a forty percent chance of baiting it Frowns I thought it was sixty percent Jade shakes her head, tears pricking her eyes just keeps going down. She feels another wave of nausea grip her What She rettches into the sink. Jack rubs her back We're going to fight this together, okay Jade nods, determine She's going to fight for her family with every ance of strength she's got. as she looks out at her boys playing bothoth still with chubby cheeks She realizes she has to prepare for the worst. She's going to set up a trust in their name Make sure that whatever happens She can always takeake care of them ninetteenth of february, two thousand nine Royal Marsden Hospital London Jade lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. She's sick of being here. Yesterday was Valentine's Day. And she and Jack had to spend it on the ward She doesn't want him wasting the best years of his life in a hospital too. all feels so unfair A nurse comes to check her vitals She drops a bunch of letters on Jade's bedside table I've never known anyone to get so much fan mail comes in full of his usual pupyish energy Morning but Jade isn't in the mood. You don't have to be here, you know, if you'd rather be with your mates Jack gives her a quizzical look Cam on and get your coat on. I'm taking you out. Jade raises an eyebrow. J glances over at the nurse, expecting disapproval, but she gives her a nod and Jack a wink. quickly disconnects her IV. Don't be long though, O pain meds will run out by three o'clock where we go in Jack shakes his head, a twinkle in his eye, and wheels her out of the room, the nurse smiling after them. Jade frowns as Jack takes her down to the Thames We're not just going to look at the stinky old withiver are we If she's going to escape her hospital room, she wants to do something more exciting than take a walk in the cold Jack stops right across from Batterssey Park. Jade opens her mouth to shout at him when she sees him go down on one knee. She feels a bubble rise in her chest. Passer byyes stop, Gasp. Jide Will you marry me He's holding out a beautiful diamond set in a silver band Cars stop and hoot. A photographer snaps Of course I will Jack leans forward to give Jade a hug, but Jade disentangles herself. Reckon we can plan a wedding in a week. I'm calling my girlfriends. I need to get a dress An hour later, Jade looks at herself in the mirror in Harard's bridal shop fans out her white satin skirts. Fingers the round neckline at the front, feeling the sexy V at the back This is the one This is the dress that makes her feel like a bride. She turns to the assistant How much is it? That one is four thousand pounds She can't spend four K on a dress but she blurts out an I' get it for free? I might be about to die. Jade's words surprise even her The assistant is taken aback. I'll call Mr. Al fired. See what I can do My God, the supporting cast in this episode is all of the biggest, most scandalous Rongs have got walk on parts in this Jade turns back to the mirror gazes at herself in admiration Whatever comes next, she's going to have the best wedding ever And she isn't going to spend a penny She deserves this, and nothing is going to get in her way feebruary twenty second, two thousand nine Downhall, Essex Jade sits out of sight. Her wedding dress spread around her She clenches her teeth as a nurse adjusts the pump in her arm, topping up her painkillers A photographer pops his head in. Allright, darling, any chance of a quick snap behind the scenes? But Jade shos him away. She signed an exclusive deal with OK magazine for one million pounds. Money that's going straight into the boys trust fund But she doesn't want people to see her like this, notot today Her mum and granddad come in, smiling proudly. You ready, Babe Jade has to admit that her mum's really come through for her since her diagnosis And her grandad is the one man in the family she's always been able to rely on Jade slips on her four inch heels, takes his arm She leans on him, and they start the slow walk down the aisle At top of which, she can see Jack, nervously waiting. Jade takes his hand She steals a look at Bobby and Freddy sitting on the front row. Sandwich between her mom and the boy's dad, Jeff Kids are so beautiful in their suits Jade looks back at Jack. He's beautiful too She can't wait to read him her vows She's written them herself She stops in front of Jack. beans Later, Jade watches from the top table, as Jack finishes off his speech But most of all, the only thing I'd like to say is how beautiful my wife looks tonight. The guests cheer. But Jade sees Jack's mouth twist with sadness. She thinks back to a few days ago when she finally asked the doctor tell her the truth Terminal Palliative Months Jade takes the microphone from Jack, and shakily gets to her feet, forces a smile When I was little, I could never have dreamed of anything like this She looks out to the sea of faces in front of her, sees her mum trying not to cry I'm just so grateful for you. I love you all so so much. I don't ever want to leave you Jade falters, then pushes on I'm not gonna because I'm going to get through this The sadness in the room just gets heavier. I'm not gonna Her voice fades. She sits down, exhausted. looks out at her mum, openly crying now Boys, Freddy asleep. Bobby looking down at the floor Silent In that moment, Jade knows No more pretending She won't see Bobby turn six. Or Freddie turn five. their first days at school Another Christmas The realization lands heavy and final. It's time to have the hardest conversation her life She has to tell her children She's dying There are people you're told to trust, lawyers, teachers, especially doctors. But what happens when you put your life in someone's hands and they betray you? The hit podcast doctor Death is back. and this season is unlike any other. Doctor Death, the cowboy, is the story of a charming neurosurgeon who rode into western towns selling a persona of confidence and care He wore cowboy boots in the operating room and became sought after by patients He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies This season is about a doctor who was never truly held accountable for the patients whose lives he ruined A story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice that will leave you questioning who to trust Listen to Dr. Death, the cowboy, wherever you get your podcasts or binge the entire series right now, only with Audible. I'm Raza Joffrey, and in the new season of The Spy Wh open the file on Benedict Arnold. The spy who betrayed the American Revolution America is fighting to free itself from the British Empire and one of its foremost generals is Benedict Ar. He's a smuggler turned battlefield hero admired for his aggressive tactics But when a war wound A new wife, debts and politics test his loyalty to the Max Turn spy. and devises a plot to shatter the revolution and help Britain capture rebel commommander in chief, General George Washington. And that plot making the most infamous traitor in U. S. history. Follow the Sy Wh now Wherever you listen to podcasts You can also listen to the full season of the spy who betrayed the American Revolution early and ad free on Audible march seventh, two thousand nine, Royal Marsden Hospital, London Jade lies in bed. Bobby and Freddie tucked in on either side of her, watching Noddy She wishes she could freeze this moment But today she can't focus on the warmth of their bodies their sweet smelling hair. As the cartoon draws to an end Jade gently takes the remote from Bobby and switches off the TV Freddie groans in protest, but Bobby just keeps staring ahead Bys, rememember I told you there were tadpoles in Mummy's tummy making her sick? Freddy nods Bobby avoids her gaze He's only five, but he knows what's coming Jade swallows, her throat tight She mustn't cry Well, they're getting stronger Mummy's going go to heaven soon Freddie lets out a cry of distress I don't want you to go to heaven. How will I see you Bobby fiddles with the friendship bracelet she got him, that she told him never to take off She pulls them both in close. and all mate in heaven. That's why we're all getting Christened to day Bobby sniffs. Freddie's eyes also fill with tears Jade holds her boys close to her chest, feeling her heart pumping A few hours later, Jade sits in front of the priest in her wheelchair I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit With an effort, she lifts her face towards him feels him making the sign of the cross on her forehead in holy water. She looks over at her two children their foreheads still glistening Bobby holding a candle to symbolize the light of Christ. She feels her weight has been lifted from her. Jade turns to the nurse, who's preparing to wheel her back to her bed. Ill want a photo with the boys and Jack The nurse nods goes to Jackie, who's sitting with the kids. Jade watches as Jackie leads the boys over She gratefully gives her mum's hand a squeeze at her side Perfect little family But there's someone missing Jade Beacens Im J Boyys Dar joins them Jade leans into Jack. Freddie in her arms On the other side Jeff holds Bobby close She takes it all in, fixes it in her mind, then gestures weakly to the cameraman in the corner of the room to stop filming es as the little red light goes dark Lets her eyes close Mammus I'm so tired. She's done her best now It's time to rest March twenty second, two thousand nine Mothering Sunday Sheere, Essex Jackie grips Jade's hand listens to the sound of her daughter's ragged breath. She wants a drink. hough. Anthing to make this pain go away. She stands ready to walk out of the room Then she sees that Jade's lips are dry. She takes a Q tip s it and a cup of cold ice water. gently applies it to Jade's mouth sits back down. Th these last few short, painful months, she's tried to be the mother she never was been there in the night when Jade was vomiting helpeled her go to the toilet, bathed her She's not leaving now She's going to stay until she takes her last breath Jackie feels tears swimming in her eyes angrily wipes them away looks around the room for something to distract her. The hospital set Jad up with a bed in the lounge in the home that she loves, where the boys grew up They're with Jeff today. It's just Jackie and Jack taking shifts waiting Her gaze lands on a Mother'sdayay card on the mantelpiece Jeff come by with a card for Jade from the boys Maybe she should read it to Jade ucky reaches down for it Panet reads out the shaky handwriting To M I love you Always be looking down on you words catch in her throat This isn't from the boys to Jade. It's from Jade She looks at her daughter lying unconscious in her hospital bed She must have done this a few days ago knowing that Mother's Day was coming up