Final Thoughts and Reflections

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So you can keep moving with confidence. Well folks, if you're gonna spend money on something, it might as well be something you actually like. That's what I always say. That's where the club random merch store comes in. That's right, get yourself a cozy hoodie. Look at this. This is really well designed. That's right, get yourself a cozy hoodie to snuggle away your sorrows or some new club random shirts. Look at all this shit I have to attract a partner with similar interests and live happily ever after. I've seen crazier rom coms, so head over to clubrandom.com and bring home some random. Well in this episode of Club Random Classic s, I sit down with my friend Jerry Seinfeld, one of the few comedians who treat stand-up like a science. We break down the tiny details that make or break a joke, the evolution of performing over decades and why most people misunderstand what great comedy actually is. It's not just funny, it's a masterclass. So grab your favorite beverage or a pen and paper or both and enjoy. I must tell you, I got up this morning. It was like Christmas morning. No, really, I felt I I have felt that Christmas morning vibe because like Jerry Seinfeld's gonna be here. I am excited too. I got excited too. I've been excited for a couple of days. It looks odd that we're talking about being excited in this position with each other. Sit down. There's a stripper bowl right there. I see. Um but you'll never guess who just called me. Leno. I just talked to him too. He uh but I said yeah I haven't seen him in a while. I really would love to get together. Maybe the three of us when you're out. That'd be amazing. So that's what's good about these shows though, which I'm sure you've already discovered. And I discovered with the comedians in cars, people I can't, I I I can't, I'm not calling people up and hanging out. But when if you do a show I said it every week. Yeah. Yeah. Include both people who I know like you who are like exactly why are we here? Yeah. 'Cause we're forced to not we're not. It's just this crazy force of thing that makes us we don't need the money, you don't need the promotion, although we'll certainly do what we can.. Thank you But is the other thing is, I don't know how you feel, I think you might be a little different this way, but I don't like to be around people not working . It's like a baseline current. It's like a a beat. It's like I can hang out with almost any comic if we're here to do a gig. If we're just if I'm here just to enjoy your company, that's not good. To me no the art it's not gonna be good enough. Your company and a chat and screw around. And get some new material. I mean I could take that the wrong way, but I'm not going to yes. I completely see the point about and uh said it to about work, but also to while you are working, do exactly what you would be if you were not working. In other words, if we were still over that again. If we if we were just here and we weren't working, we I want this conversation to be zero different Oh that won't happen. That can't happen. Because uh I mean let's I'm I'm I'm a savvy professional. Do you think I don't know that if I say something stupid it won't uh I can do it. No, even you are a savvy you are all also the saviest profession al final What do you weigh right now, Bill? What do you weigh? Why is that a relevant question? What's the name of the show? Club Random. What do you weigh? I think probably one fifty two today. What? Today. Today. It varies in pay. Yeah, me too. I weigh uh I weigh one sixty six today. And what were you in nineteen seventy nine? Seventy nine I was probably one fifty, probably the same. But I think you have uh you're slightly smaller. Um I don't know. Over time or you mean compared to you? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, you're a little bit , yeah. Also ego. Yes. Well I don't know. That's a close race. Let's let's Well, listen, before I uh forget, I what can I get Jerry for his birthday? I mean the man um you have everything, you're a great star. Never get tired of that. Do you ever get tired of that? No one else ever said those words . But Don, you're a great star. I know I only say it to you. I love it. I want you so bad. She took the necklace off and the head hits the sink. Some of those things they made no sense. You know, drop your pants and fire a rocket. Well he didn't say fire a rocket out of my ass. That's what he wanted to say. Oh but he was very, very clean. Which is interesting because he that he had those little uh what what do we call them? Uh uh he would just kind of bend the rules, let's say, for television and for his Oh yes. You know. But yeah, drop my pants and fire a rocket out of my ass. That's what you're supposed to f you're supposed to finish it in your head. I didn't even know that was a thing. Oh sure. Um well I loved it as a kid no matter what he did. You know, and he certainly would be the m uh eminently cancelable today. Uh let's not. Oh, I promise you. I saw him over. You can't move him from to yes from then to now without him . Modulating, he wouldn't have. You don't know that. He's he's he's gonna wanna work. I think the man likes to work . But he okay, but I saw him doing it like later than it should have been. I saw him opening. Yeah, yeah, that was a miscalc a miscalculation. Right. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. I wanted this is so you Bill. I'm so touched. You don't even know what it is yet. But don't worry, I'm not ready to know what it is. Well, I hope you were touched by what I gave you at your own. And I look at it and I think of you and it and it's it it's a bit Okay. It's too much. 'Cause you really Well and it's true. And let me t ell the people Oh gosh. Do we have to? Oh right, go ahead. It's okay. I mean it's it's not I mean it's not a big deal. It was very sweet. But I but it it limbs I think for an audience who you really are to us the comedians. I had a rabbit made and by the way, it's they don't make rabbits. I had to have it made because that you can get a bunny on Amazon. Right. Bunnies are all over, but but not like the rabbit in motion. And the idea was Jerry was always the rabbit in among the comedians. He was the lead leader of the pack who we were all chasing. And it was inscribed the rabbit we never caught. Oh . What you don't remember that? Of course I re you said it like, oh I don't I don't think I read it. Does that is it say that on there? It does. Oh, I never read it. I g I'll I'll go home right after this and read it. You just remember me saying it at the point? Yes. Yes . That's uh interesting. Wow. Well anyway, that's exactly who you are. Thank you. Always were you've also been a great friend. You know, you you were there when I did the first week of politically incorrect. You didn't have to. You you flew to Washington on your wife's birthday in twenty fourteen, when I needed a guest on when we did our special show in DC, you remember that. And I certainly have vivid memories of like y I I time I got off stage at the comic strip and I had tried like all this new material. Right. This is my first year. Right. And I remember you I look back and I think you must have been thinking, you fucking idiot. But you were nice enough to be like, yeah, you should just try one of two new things. And it was, you know, advice I needed to get and probably did not follow for another three years. But I went through all like my file from 1979 because I thought, where can I get the person who has everything? You've got the amazing career, the perfect wife, the great family, the adoration of a grateful nation . The only thing they can get you is to amuse you And give you a memory or bring back a memory. So here's my show and tell box. Look at this from 197 9 . What is it? Comedy hour. Don't more in company. Oh. Well, I don't know why I'm in company. It's my first year in comedy. Yeah. But look at the time. 1230 to 130. 1230 to 130. Well, you can't give me this. I'm not giving it to you. There is something I do want to give you. Oh, okay. Um that I've treasured for fifty years. Sixty years. But I sixty . Yeah. Yeah. It's from the it's nineteen sixty-four. But twelve thirty, the fact that we were doing shows All the time. And this is well twelve thirty would be a bad time to do the show, AM or PM. But this this was noon. This was a nooner . Okay . So all right, so here's the thing I wanna have framed if you like it for you. Um see if you can see what this is. I betcha you were here. Wait, you're a s oh I'm a pack rat. You're not Oh my God. Do you know what that is? Of course I know what it is and I Really? R were you there ? I I lived for it. I went many, many times, and I have quite a bit of memorabilia myself. Anything blue and orange that says World's Fair on it, I have it. Not anything. Well, that is the map that told you where all the pavilions and everything was at the 1964 World's Fair. Which Oh Let's let's be honest, Bill. What? And say there's a sadness to what the world seemed like to us at this time, what we thought it was, what everybody wanted it to be. Right? I was looking at this the other day, and I see like, you know, the GM pavilion and the four, and I thought, you know, nobody bitched about every fucking thing back then. Now they'd every pavilion would have somebody in front of it like, you know, you're making oil and you kid. You know, like nobody would just enjoy the fucking thing. Well, it's Jim Bro Jimmy Brogan's great uh Heckler line that he used to do uh when people would start to heckle he would always say, I'm sorry we don't have microphones for everyone. Remember that line? No. No, I don't. Unfortunately, that's what happened. Right. That's what happened. And yes, it ruined everything. But how do you have this? By the way. Because I'm a pack rat. I'm the opposite of you. This is a map of the world's fair. It looks like an architectural rendering. I know I think they gave it to you like so that you could know where, you know, hey I'm here at the uh at the Finland pavilion. No really and we want to get to Muriel Cigars before lunch. I remember walking around here and at one point being very Yes. Remember how boring the countries were? I don't want to see any countries. Right. Let's go to the world. Well, the Caribbean, you'll see that was on there. That was kind of a good one. Do you remember the stories of the kids that got lost in there and their parents left them there and they were living off the coins in the fountain to eat corn dogs? I don't remember that, but I do remember kids getting lost there. Well if a few you're gonna give this to me? I wanna have it framed and then give it to you. I would love it and I'll put it up on my wall. Yeah, because this means And you can look at it endlessly. Yeah. Because this it's so intricate and they have all the Incredible. Oh. Thank you, Billy. That's lovely. See? You can't get that at Sears. No, no. So funny that you mentioned Jimmy Brogan . This is what I took out of a TB guide in 197 9, the year I met you at the clubs. Uh I I kept every one of the fall preview issues of TB Guide that had all the news shows. You know what I'm talking about? Of course. And that was like that was a big event for me when I was a kid. The fall shows, yeah. Like this one I do not remember, but this is um a man called Sloane, Robert Conrad. Wow. I loved him. I wanted to be him. Yeah. What a stud. Stars as Thomas Remington Sloan III, a stylist, cosmopolitan, and unnervingly effective globe circling secret agent. Not unlike James Bond, who reports directly to the president of the United States. But look who's at the bottom. Out of the blue with Jimmy Brogan . And I cut that out because it was like, wow, I know a guy in TV guys. Like that really see like I said, like there was nobody else here. I read for Trapper John so many times. What? That I don't know why. They kept reading me. They never put me on the show. I was desperate to get on in the eighties . So here it is. Trapper John? Trapper John. I didn't know you read for guest starring on it. A couple of times, yeah. I know you did the Benson. Yeah. You were a regular. Yes. Well I did three episodes. I thought it was like seven. No, it was three and they fired me. Oh . Mercifully. That's very close to the guy who didn't sign the Beatles. Yeah. You know . Oh sorry. That's all right . By the way, drink, you don't drink? Or you just have to drink it? Oh. You're driving you drove yourself. Yeah. Yeah. But we know how you feel about cars. Yeah. I drove uh an old Mercedes-Benz diesel here. I mean, I just th that level of car I mean I I guess Jay has it too. Level of car enthusiasm. Yeah. I don't wanna talk about that. I don't either. I don't like to I I know it's not of any interest. But uh but but to your credit, you made it interesting to me on the show like when you did those accurate commercial commercials. Yeah you got a little interest in. I know well not enough to like pursue it but, like it was I was interested in the connection you had between the person and the car. Yeah. Why you felt that was that I thought was elegant. Yeah, people like that. Um I never understood the one you picked me up in. It was a German police. It was for the one joke, which is it it was a VW police car, because this is uh you're someone who seems to have a lot of power and has none . And I thought that that that that's what that car is a VW police car. You're police, but you can't catch anybody. So well, yeah, I guess. Um I noticed that like in that show though, like in your own kind of Seinfeldian way, you did become like such a truth teller. You know , not obviously not political the way I do it , but like you just used your political capital from the first show. Right. I felt like, you know, the popularity that you would accrue to like go, well, I'm just gonna say what the fuck I want . And it's not always gonna be that pleasing to everybody. And that's so to me the most refreshing thing in show business. Yeah, but it wasn't n it was nothing really I I suppose it was a little more revealing than what people had known prior, but not that much. Really? I don't know. What have you? I that's what I think. Oh, okay. I mean, be just because you were you weren't playing from a script like in the show. I mean you're you're that's a character first of all, obviously close, but you know, I mean the the situations were so absurd. Right. And then were ridiculous that it it was a show about nothing. Nothing, it was a show about everything. Right, yeah. Right. That's not. And then now you're just talking to somebody and they're saying, you know, like what do you think you owe your kids? Nothing. Right. You know you just you know you know you said things about like family and stuff like that that was like, oh wow. Yeah. Well that's what this show is, but the what you've accomplished with this show, because I thought nobody has always been more um I don't want to use the word transparent, but you you we probably know more about your opinions than any other celebrity in out there. And yet on this show there was a whole other world of stuff that I can't believe. I still can't believe. When you were on with I think it was Mammoth, and you s and you got into a thing about the the battery shortage in Germany that they were trying to go electric when they kind of overshot it and I'm going, uh how does this guy stop at that article in the paper and say, yeah, I need to know more about the German power grid. Stop. You're being you don't think you know No, I don't not like you. Really? No. I watched the show to see what does Bill know that I didn't know he knew. And I'm always blown away. Wow. That one was amazing. And then you talk with that other guy about the Bible, and you know all about the Bible . I'm old. I know, but your your brain is your brain is worthy of uh all the attention it gets well finish your thoughts um no i i i think you're amazing and i i am i'm enjoying you as much now you're such a sphinx i didn't even know you ever saw this show I watch everyone. I I how do I know these things? I texted you about doing this? You never texted me back. Texted you back? No, you love to. I'm a fan of the show. Oh. Yes, that originally. Then I then I texted you about a month ago and said, uh, what about when you're doing the promoting the the pop chart movie? And I didn't hear back, your people got back and said, Yeah, he's gonna do it. I was like thrilled, but it's like 'cause I already told you I'm I' wmanna do it. I know. That's but most people are not quite see again, I'm a rat pack, you are the guy who is there's no extra . No extra. I do like that. I love No X I mean I think uh to to quote one more thing that I quoted before about the Paul Simon song that I always think that is you. And it's it's it's such an amazing song, One Tckri pony, and you are anything but a One Trick Pony because you've been successful in when you did reinvent the talk show, you had your series and you've done movies, but there's that middle part. He makes it look so easy, look so clean. He moves like God's immaculate machine. He makes me think about all these extra moves I make and all this herky jerky motion and the bag of tricks it takes to get me through my work and day. I feel like I'm the herky jerky guy. Well you're not. And you're the guy who's like just gliding through with no extra and no baggage and no stupid mistakes. 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It also tracks you over time and gives you your biological age, which is either very motivating or deeply humbling, depending on how you have been living. This is what healthcare should have been from the start . Proactive, not reactive. Unlock your new health intelligence with superpower. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with superpower. For a limited time, our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. Head over to superpower.com and use code RAM for $20 off your membership. That's code random. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about superpower. Do us a favor if you could, and tell them Club Random sent you to show support for our show. This episode is brought to you by Racketton. The big secret all savvy shoppers know? Rackiton makes your money go further. It's easy. Shop as normal and stack cash back on top of sales and savings. Discover fashion, tech, beauty, and more at hundreds of your favorite shops like Argos, Lego, and Just Eat. Join for free at racket on.co dot UK or download the Racketton app. That's R A K U T E N, racket on.co dot uk and and that' song, by the way, hit me like that too. I thought that's everything I want to be, what he's describing. I thought, that's it. That's everything. You don't think you are that? I I don't try. I don't know. I mean you were always like more mature than the rest of us. Like in back in the day. Professionally and personally. Not professionally. Yeah I mean once at the comedy cellar, the MC getting on after me and saying to the audience, okay, that bad man is gone now . That is absolute don't run fest, I think it was. That bad man is gone now.. Yeah I was very Okay. I consider that just Growth. No. Creative experimentation that yeah, you need the experimentation. No, no. It was a totally a function of a bad attitude . Um Your bad attitude has matured I hope. Um tot ally. You're the you're one of the most successful people in the history of television and stand up comedy. I have been on a long time. Yes. Yeah, my aesthetic role model was Mike Tyson. When I saw Mike Tyson in his prime, when he cut the hole in the hotel towel and had no socks and no stool and black shorts with nothing on them. I thought that's what I want to be. Oh my God. And recently, just a few years ago, I don't know, I said, why am why do I have these different colored ties and suits . I go, I'm just wearing a black suit and a black tie from now on. It just felt so calm. We visited Japan uh last December. I was so happy there. I I I connected so strongly with that ethic of their culture of just focus and simplicity and singularity of purpose, you know. I do like that. And I have done these other things, and I have to say it's all with a uh a component of reluctance. I do it to think I think I could do that, you know, like the movie. Like I think I could do that or let's do a different type of talk show. I think I might be able to do that. But it's not really what I wanted. If I could have just been a pure stand-up and never done anything- Well, you're already known as the purest of the pure stand-ups. That's your that is like your and it's real. And by the way, this leads me to something I feel nervous about telling you. I feel like you're the confessor to this, but like after this year, I'm gonna stop doing it . Um Really. I don't wanna make like a big announcement or something. Well go ahead. Well, I mean I'm doing a st uh special at the end of the year. Right. It'll be my 13th for HBO. That's a lot. That's a lot. Um and I just feel like you gotta, I don't know. You know, first of all , I put a lot of time and effort into it because as you know, stand-up is like playing the cello. You can't just walk up there. You have to stay in practice. And I do. Yeah. And I've always loved it. And I'm always working on it. But I have a show. Yeah. You know, I mean I don't know how you kept it up during the show, or frankly why . But you did. Because they fed each other, first of all, it was so great. And also 'cause I love it. I mean it's it's you know, I can be m the loosest, I can you know, the show was great, but there's constrictors there. Um this is looser, but you know what's looser than just you people paid to see me? Yeah even if you don't like it, you kinda have to laugh. The way you stay in a movie, even though it sucks. I don't want to walk out my father. God damn mother's great. Yeah, he waited until it came to the uh theater, you know, where there was one theater in Bergen County Yeah. All right. Let's get back to Yeah, so uh You know, but if I don't have to practice the cello eight hours a day. Right. I can do you know, I might want to do some of these kind of things live. That's kind of an interesting option that people do nowadays. Oh right. You know, and then it's kind of an event. Um interesting. You know. Yeah, that I I uh it's not crazy. It's not crazy. It's not crazy. It's not crazy. I mean the the the landscape uh of of the business, which is one of one of the things I love about the business is everybody's like, well, what is what is going on? You know, what do we do? What are we supposed to do? What's so-and-so doing? Why is he doing that? Should I do that? I love that endless uh uh grind and her everybody has always harangued, everybody's always on the phone, you know. Um You mean like what's happening in the business . Did you see what so and so did? What'd you think of that? Right. You know? Right. Streaming and you know And I think perhaps um for you, for whatever feels right for you at this point is what's right. But that's after 40 years, that's why I don't want to like make an announcement. This is my final because uh I might change my mind. I might it might be like cutting off a limb, and I have to I have to go back to it. How do you view the show? How do you view real time? Um in you know how old are you now? Sixty something? Jerry, I'm right always hot on your heels. Okay. When you when you you 're a year and a half behind you. Whatever it is. Do you do you ever look forward or do you say forward? Only forward. Only for but I mean do you think you know, maybe another five and um uh No, I can't. How much longer you think you'll do SNL? He says, you know, I think it'll get to the point that I I'll I'll feel like I'm slowing down and I don't have the same edge, I don't have the same enthusiasm for it. And he says, when I get to that point , I'll do five more years . And I love that answer. I love that answer. I I um I would I I I be I would love for us to compare notes who is more addicted to show business, you or me, because I love it to death today as much as even more. Everything else in life for me has fallen away, has gone gray. I mean, uh I loved uh um having kids and I'm uh that whole side of my life has been great, but you always have to say that, you know, but if you're just talking about work, let's just talk about work. You know, I I'm I love show business as much today as ever, if not more, because I tried every other goddamn thing. But you say you don't love show business. You love stand-up. That's show business. I know, but it's that one aspect. Again, you're such a minimalist. You're so direct with everything that everything peels away. No extra things. Yeah.. That's you That's why I think you will do it till you drop. I will. I will. Um and maybe I will too. I don't know. It it's it's it's it's a tough decision, but I also feel like um it's easy as you get older to not do new things and that's what keeps you young. I think that's part of the reason I want to do this is definitely because look, I mean we're doing a podcast, if you said to me ten years ago even, you know, the big thing in show business is gonna be basically AM radio. Right. I would have said, You're crazy. Right. And yet I mean you talk about too many people at the beginning of the marathon clogging the road. Right. I mean, there's like four million podcasts in America. And but no one's doing this one. I know, but it it's it would be like if Johnny Carson when we watched him had , you know, um four million like late night shows that people had that they c you know, maybe only five hundred watch this one and a thousand watch this one, but his rating cumulatively all of all those tiny ants sucking a little bit away would have left him not with seventeen million which he had at his height, but, you know, something much more modest. That's the problem with so many podcasts . No Why? Why not? First of all, you're doing the thing that you hate the most, which is moving people around in in chronology. If Johnny Carson was is it forget that. We're here now. You're you, we're here now. It doesn't matter what he would have done or what matters is this makes Go ahead, finish your point. Oh my goodness. Is that what year is that? 197 9 . Oh . Carson Must Day. What a baller he was, right? Yeah. I mean, just to like have the headlines like about what you but you're right he would not I mean as great as he was he would not survive today he he was just that show breathed way too much for the current audience right I know . Yes, I who cares? The world wouldn't make him today. Right. They don't make those guys anymore. They don't make George C. Scott anymore. You know what loomed large in our world , even the late as 196 4, because it was 20 years after, but World War II was like my childhood, I look back, it was like everything. My parents were in it, TV shows were about it. Right. Hogan's heroes and McHale's Navy and Combat. And didn't you kind of feel also as a kid I just missed it. I mean it was when I played Army, I played World War Two. And it wasn't and there was no nuance to it. We were good. Yes. They were bad. Yeah. And you know, I mean It was like a a a a a a big hug musical . That's what World War Two was. Here's a musical for everyone, you know . Yeah. And everyone was involved in it. Mm-hmm. Like nobody was ever like, uh yeah, I'm just doing something different these days. None of me . World War Two Um But anyway, I'm still not quite uh to the essence of why it feels right to you to not do it anymore . Um I don't know. Because it's the cello. And are you um travel and travel writing how much time how do you I don't even how do you do a TV show and do any stand up stuff? I mean I'm not married, no kids. My all my time is mine. Right. So that's that's one way. Um I like that. I mean, you know me, I think we're very similar to this. I love the tinkering. Mm-hmm. I love the I put that word in front of this thing and I move this over here. It's like putting together a Rubik's Cube. Yes. Exactly. And I move this here and now it all fits. I you know, for six months it was good but now it's great because and I feel bad for those audiences that last six months and they because like but it's same way in a relationship. I always felt like oh if I only knew what I learned on her. Yeah. With you. I would have been a lot better with you. Yes. But I can't, you know, we can't uh reverse time. But you didn't answer my question about real time . What was that? Which is think of how many years you first of all you're at at twenty how many? Twenty-five years ? Uh real time. Starting with um politically incorrect? Well that's thirty one. Okay, thirty-one. That counts. Oh I know. I know What do you think? Well, I certainly wouldn't want to quit now because I'm feel like I'm at the top of my game. Absolutely. And lots of people tell me that. And and uh that's why I put out this book, Jerry. I signed it to you also How'd you do that ? The strike with the same glasses even. It's amazing. The strike. months to and it's just it's all the editorials we do at the end. Wow. That I put together in a way that made sense. And we edited an No, I put a lot of work into this. Oh, I'm sure you did. Shut up. Um but uh I w I think what stand-up is for you is what writing that editorial at the end of the show is for me. Oh, okay. That's what that piece I never ever miss Oh thank for the writing. Thank for the flow of it. The consistency uh is shocking. Your cons the your level of consistency is is shocking. Well I mean and uh it's it's the best comedy monologue every week that any one does. And you even make a point on top of being funny. Which it's, you know. Usually a point no one else is making. Right. That's I mean, it's very easy and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I mean, this is Christmas morning for me now. But uh I mean other shows I feel like are partisan one way or the other. I've I I rarely hear a a a thought that I haven't heard anywhere else. You know, that they will amplify it and get but their audience doesn't want to. The audience they just mostly wants to hear what they already believe and they want Yes. Trump's an asshole and Trump is an asshole, and I certainly have done my share of jokes about that. But I am always trying to say something that's not breaking a s news story, but breaking a new way of looking at a news story. Right. And, you know, consider this and um Oh it's just fantastic. Thank you. It's fantastic. Oh I appreciate it. And you know, I you know what, uh I don't know, like you when you would go on Larry King, that was always so great. Yeah, I loved that. It was great. That show, don't you think there's a hole for that show? I think it's Joe Rogan. I think Joe Rog what You just put your hands up like No, I'll no I'm what what I'm getting at is what was I thought special about that show was it was nine o'clock. Every night at nine o'clock, Larry King was gonna be sitting with someone who could probably be of interest. Yes. And that was a uh a great TV. That was great TV. The set I thought was I love the multicolored dots, the blackness , you know, uh not like he was the greatest interview in the world, but he was good. Trevor Burrus Well that but that's that's why I compared him to Joe Rogan, because they they're both minimalists. Both of them do zero research by their own admission. Right. Like it's a c they just I think Joe would say the same thing Larry said, I wanna be the audience. I wanna be the guy who knows nothing about you. I know but he's on for three and a half hours. Larry King is you know, it's on at nine. You're wandering around the house, you're looking for something to do. Right. That was that was a great thing. I can't believe they haven't tried to replace that. I don't know who would do it, but I d I I don't think it's the fact that there's nobody uh write for it. I think it's the fact that the audience is different. I mean we don't have well that was one of the last shows. Well, it wasn't really a hearth show, but like in our It was. It was a Hearth show. Okay, so so like in our youth, but not to the level like in our youth, like when there was three channels and the all the new shows were in that issue of TB Guide . Like the family had a commun al experience with television. Don Rickles, you know. We all remember all like it was an event when he was on the Tonight Show, especially in the summer when we could stay up, the famous one where he threw him in the It was amazing that throw, by the way, that he was able to do that. Oh Johnny threw him. Yeah, well Johnny threw him in there. Johnny was a mean bastard. And like you don't fuck with Johnny. I mean that's the other thing about Johnny. Was I mean he was he could be terrible to people. But what if everyone at that level is should be terrible to people. No, they you don't mean that. I don't think that's terrible to people. I'm not. I'm not. But when you hear someone is, I can't believe anybody thinks anything of it. I think there's levels to it, and I don't think everybody is. I think he was just he especially when he drank, I mean he just had a a really mean side to him. Right. And uh I mean he could close off I read that uh biography by Bushkin, remember Bombastic Bushkin, my and uh I I felt it was so true. I don't know it's true, but everything I know about Johnny and um it wasn't kissing his ass and it wasn't covering anything up . You know, he said he w he was just as cold as that his his mother was like very cold to him. But in a way , it it made it eas ier to watch him. I can't watch people that want me to fill that need for them. I can't do it. I agree. They're exhausting. I totally agree. Just a bombastic Bushkin. Don't you think that that joke was his intense jealousy of Dr. Vinny Boombot's Rodney's great doctor? Oh I think Carson loved that joke so much he wanted his own. And of course he would steal when he steal when it suited him. I'm telling you, that's what I mean. He was just a badass. He broke into his wife's apartment. You know that? That's that's in the book. It's like when they were going through the divorce. Yeah. Yeah, I mean like did really badass things. Changes in sexual performance are more common than most people realize, and support doesn't need to feel awkward. With MedExpress, everything happens privately online. Start by completing a short consultation reviewed by UK registered clinicians. If eligible, treatment is delivered discreetly to your home, with ongoing support whenever you need it. You're not alone in this. Visit medexpress.co.uk slash podcast to learn more. Why go small? When you can go grand Meet the new Vauxhall Grand Land Griffin. 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Well, I'm just saying you didn't fuck around with him. And yes, I do remember what'd you say?? What did he do That uh bombastic Bushkin was I wish I was a thief. He loved uh Dr. Vinnie Boombots. But he stole the Answer Man from Steve Allen. And he stole uh Maud Frickart from Winters. Yeah, we know . It was horrible. And then he would have them on the show. Yeah. Well what they could do. He was the king. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not saying it was admirable, but I guess, you know, that persona kind of he was mister he was gracious, you know, that was what was Johnny's calling card. But boy, when that light little red light went off, I don't think he was that guy. Did you have uh uh little interactions with him in the hallway ever? Little of course. Wasn't that the most exciting thing in the world when you would see him coming down the hall with the tie down? Didn't have to tell you the story, but when I saw him the last um time I did it and Leno was about to take over and he um walking out and he's in his car at like a Corvette. Yeah, the Corvette. And it wouldn't start . And I said, uh boy, I bet you Leno knows everything about cars. I bet you he'd know what to do. Oh okay. And he looked up and he went, yeah, we'll we'll see how much he knows about television . I'm telling you. He was a bad man. Yeah . Well, uh these guys, you know, they're not it's not a coincidence that they're there. All these guys, whether politically I feel like a late-night host is always a reflection of the society that we live in. Better than a lot of other signposts. I mean, like that's why Leno was right for his era and Johnny was right for his era. And what do we have now? We have we have Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert . I think are right for their era. In that. Why look at this? Here's a Oh, new breed of stand-up comics. What's that? Oh, these are the the two articles that were in the New York Times Am I in any of those? You probably are. Here's Adrian Tolsch with a Catcher Rising Star t shirt. I have a catcher rising star t-shirt that I wear all the time. Still fits? I it's a new one. Because I hear when you wash them, they make lovely hand puppets for the children. I know. Calvin Fussman. Calvin Fussman, who's that? He's the writer of this ridiculous thing. Why are you keeping this? Just because it's comedy in the day? You know what? Every year in my life, I make a file where I just put stuff in because I like to be a good caveman. Like if I want to go back and excavate and see who I was, it's one good thing I did. I mean so many dumb errors, but that was pretty smart. Like I saved, like look at that Mad Magazine cover. I love that. I saw that cover. No. No, you don't think that's cool. I wasn't missing that. You don't think that's cool? It's okay. Be honest, Jerry. Come on. Come out of your show. Um Yeah, the new breed. I went through all of my stuff recently. The new breed of stuff. And throughout almost all of it. Of course you did, because that's you and I'm me, because you And I thought I don't my kids don't care what I did. Aren't you glad I kept the world fair thing? Yeah. You never know which is gonna be the one, right? I think these are all good. No. Some of them are good. What about this from Richard Belzer? I love that. First of all, it's Daily Planet from the desk of of super comic Richard Belzer. Oh wow. No . It's a great shot of him, by the way. It's just too much. When I play the beacon, I always ask the audience. I tell talk about how I started in New York at a club called Catch a Rising Star. How many of you remember it? And that moment, Bill, there's like about ten percent of the audience will applaud. It's a great moment. I just love that. Remember how cool that joint was? And so much fun to just share that for a second. But isn't it a little sad that only well and look what he wrote potentially sad to pot entially one of the greats Richard Belzer. That's funny. I think he was talking about himself, but um but I think it's sad that only ten percent of the people well you know what it all goes No I I do like a but I must say bad memories do not make me sad. Good memories make me sad. Oh. You know. Bad memories, it's like, great, it's over. Right. Good memories, it's like, shit. We'll never have that again, you know. Right, no. You seem more at peace with that. I am. I am you know what I came to the other day? Because I'm going through this thing with the movie, you know, and I ha you're doing a lot of press and they're watching the movie and they're responding to it. You know, and I hit me the other morning. An insincere compliment is absolutely of equal value as a totally genuine compliment. There is no difference in value . They're both utterly meaningless and just as nice . An insincere compliment is just as nice. I don't care if they're lying to my face. But it doesn't matter what they think anyway . What the fuck are you talking about? This is ridiculous. Like I gave you a very wonderful compliment, I think, and it came from me, and it's very sincere, and it's true about you , that's gotta mean more than an insincere compliment. Um not in that situation where you're meeting strangers and they're saying, Oh, I loved your movie. Great . That's great. That's just as great. I don't have to know. Really? Did you really ? Give me that rabbit thing back. A compliment from you who knows me. That's what I'm saying. That's different. Oh, okay. That's different. I hope so. I'm talking about ninety percent of the things people tell you in show business because are not true and not sincere. Of course. And that's okay. And even when they I shouldn't even admit this, it makes me sound petty, but I think all show people are the same. Sometimes people will give you a compliment and you still don't like it because it's like, yeah, but you noticed the wrong thing. Yeah . Yeah. Yeah, you liked the show, but you that you thought that was the best part of it. Yes. And it's like you can't Petty doesn't even describe how small minded that is. I don't know, is what's below petty . Whatever that adjective would be . You don't feel you never felt that way? No . Really? No. Take what you like. Whatever you like. What do I care what you like? All right, then why do you keep arguing when I say you're more mature than more mature than you you have ? I like to argue. I know, good. I don't even believe what I'm decisions I'm taking. We're not even arguing. Um But yeah, no, that's true. I feel like um I've evolved a long way. Mm-hmm. But I started really far back. Way far back. Yeah. It's true. I didn't uh I didn't want to talk about that. Oh here. Look at this. No, I always thought This is so funny, all this crap you brought out here. Tell me you're not enjoying this. I'm not. No, you said to tell me. So I did. So get smart, Joe. Look at this. My father was in radio. I know. Right. Mutual broadcasting system . This is when the media was respected by this country because these were mutual men of Mutual menace. So where's your dad? Is he in here? Right here. Look right here. Bill Moore . Your dad? Mutual menace. Bill Moore? Of course. Well, that explains a lot. I think we've cracked this case wide open right here. Mutual men of conviction. Isn't that awesome? It doesn't resemble you much. Look at you can't see it's a drawing. So that's not what he looked like? He tend to look like that, but you know. He looks kind of uh Oh no. Um stangish It's a drawing from this creeps who made this thing. Men of conviction. So were these guys um SWIF announcers. Oh, but they weren't journalists. Well, I think they would consider themselves journalists, Jerry. They had deep voices and they were on the radio. And uh Did your dad have a deep voice? You have a deep voice. Of course. Yeah. Of course he did . When I when he took me to the radio station, you know, once in a while, I'd be like scared the shit out of me because they all Hello, young man . Look at some of these names, Whitney Bolton Charles Charles Batchelder. Bill Costello was good. As was Jack Allen and Martin Edwards. You know , I did a little stick uh we made we made it we made a couple of little video promotion pieces for for the movie and one is where I'm called into the office of the president of Pop Tarts. Uh so I needed a name for who would be the president of Pop Tarts and we came up with Kelman P. Gasworth. He says I'm Kelman P. Gasworth , the president of Pop Tarts. And I'm sitting at the end of this long conference table and I go, oh, I just made a whole movie about Pop Charts. He goes, Well, did you know? I can't wait to see this movie. It's fun. It comes out on next time. Friday. So I it's funny because when I read about this, I thought it's both um you making a movie about pop charts, it's both inscrutable and inevitable. That is a great line. That's a great line. And I just wanna know before I see it, or maybe you don't want to say this, then just don't, but like but but what is the metaphor? I mean plainly it can't just be about pop-tart. Oh my gosh, no. No, it's uh 's quite a deep story, Bill. But it has to be a metaphor for something. Uh you got me. Really? Yeah. What? Again. We're not like the serial killer and the detective. We're not really like no it's um I like uh important seeming men in suits like those names you're talking about puffs and flakes and sprinkl es uh in a very serious way. That to me was funny. I like w it's it's about um it it really is about uh childhood fantasy and uh wanting to hang on to your childhood and that time and that product and to make this movie I get to go back there. I get to go back to when the only thing I cared about was the stingray and my cereal. Right and the my and the TV shows that I liked. And that was that was you know, it was like a little soap bubble of uh that I got to get inside for uh a few weeks. Yeah, I mean I have that inclination, but our childhood is now just so long ago. Yeah. I mean But the fun of it is is still there. I know. So and with a movie you get to recreate it. But you don't You don't get to really go there. No but but you don't um have intimations of mortality when you dwell on the distant past like that, that it reminds you that you're closer to the end. I'm not that in love with ev like you all you really love life. Don't you? You love it. It's okay. Oh come, on now. Your life ? Oh I I uh cause like when I knew this was your birthday and I was like, I betcha he's the same place it with birthdays that I am, which is like I had a big party here right in this room at 60, you had one at 65. After that, like, yeah, it's happening, but we don't need to go into it at all. I mean sometimes people I mine's in January, sometimes people say to me a couple weeks after they say, oh, didn't you just have a birthday? And I go, um, you know, maybe. I don't know. I don't I I might have. I don't I you know I didn't I didn't check my calendar I I didn't check my calendar. You know, I because I it's just like it's happening, it's I can't deny it, but let's just ignore it. Yeah. It's at s at a certain point 'cause you'd still look generically late middle age, which is great. You know, you don't read old. No, neither do you. Like Biden. Yeah. Like reads old. And Trump reads crazy, but not old. Yeah, okay. He reads He just reads differently. Well he's got a lot of makeup on, you know. A lot. And the hair color and all that crazy. Yeah, I always say he's like Kiss. He puts on the face paint and the wig and it's always nineteen seventy six. That is fantastic. That is a great joke. True. He's like kiss so funny . But yeah, so we could probably I mean Mick Jagger is doing it at eighty, doing rock shows . Uh okay. Nom. not It' saying if if a guy can do rock and roll at 80, certainly comedy. What do you think you'll be doing at 80 ? Um I hope very similar to what I'm doing now. Really? Yes, I would love to f I r I only in my sixties came to realize uh how right my mother was when I'm sh when she once said to me, Yeah, I really like my fifties and sixties the best of all the decades. Um, I thought that's crazy. 60s? What are you fucking nuts? Yeah. Um but their 60s is our 80s, physically . I mean, I don't have I I don't do anything different now than I did in my forties . I could do any number of shows, I could go any way. Exactly. Right. I don't I haven't made any adjustments. I uh same way. But I imagine I mean there's a diminishment to everything. Yes. I mean, you know, I I can still play basketball, but that's amazing. That's amazing. And uh you know, I mean But yeah, you I think you uh maybe have a little m uh tighter grip on this Aaron Powell It is what it is. All you can ever be is um good for your age. But I'm you know, as far as how far you can go, I feel like I'm and you are too for a somewhat different reason, uniquely suited to another decade because I never was selling I can dance, I can jump around. Right. I was selling wisdom. Right. And and sophistication. Right. I mean that's why HBO has been such a good home for me. It's a sophisticated audience. It's a sophisticated show. I'm not, you know, putting that on myself, but yeah, that is what I strive for, and the audience is a sophisticated audience, and there's precious little left for people who are sophisticated. That's a genre, that's a niche. But it's always been a small niche, that's the Yes. Always. Yes. That's what I'm saying. You you have a much broader, you know Somewhat broader. m m majorly broader. It's one another reason why I'm probably not gonna do any more stand-up is because like, first of all, when you're on TV every week, it's very hard for people to come out and you know, it's harder to get that you're less unique. Also, they they tend to think I'm a political comic, which is limit Oh right. So like there's guys who are like not half as funny as me selling twice as many tickets. I'm a little sick of it. Not that I can't do nice shows in theaters, but I s it's like it's I am I've always been fighting a little uphill on those things. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I think your stand-up is my editorial. That's what I want to do. Right. Till they put me in the grave. Right. Is every week come up with that one thing and you know, because uh it's almost Seinfeldean because it's building one very small limited, but trying to perfectly craft it and then it's over. Mm-hmm. Right. You know, right. Next week there's a new one. And why on Monday I I, you know, I mean I, will we nail down the premise before the weekend, and then on Monday, you know, I read all the passes and put it together, you know, my own version, and then, you know, so it together and each day it first it gets fatter, then it gets smaller. You know, there's there's there's a method to it to show you that it's by Friday. I love it. That would be a vacation that for me, if you would if I would just sit with you and not contribute, but just watch you do that, that would entertain me more than any trip to anywhere in the world. Because I think I don't know how you do it, but the end result is so elegant. And uh that is what I uh and and and of course, getting the job done comedically. Yeah. We gotta do all those three things in the piece. Right. When that is executed, uh I mean I just feel full of uh uh music. It's I just love it. And I, you know, we're so lucky that , you know, I do think sometimes I watch great pitchers, great athletes, and I think, oh, this guy's only gonna get twelve years of this to be able to play this music. And it's a it's a huge career for a pitcher, right? But for us, if they told us you can only do this twelve years, it's ridiculous. Musicians, does it bother you? You're so uh you're very, very sophisticated musically and um just you had all those Paul Simon lyrics in in your head was amazing. But um what what's your theory, and I know you have one on why these No, but too many drugs. I'm partly. But also I just think it's innate. Music is something that flowers in youth. I mean Don't you think music is sexual? Of course. If you're not horny, you can't write a great song. Well. Oh, that's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. Yeah. That's because not all songs not all songs are about sex. Yes, they are. Everyone. Oh stop it. But what is your theory on uh older song writers struggling to find that same magic? I couldn't agree more. First of all, it's it's rare, and I'm not gonna name names. No. There are exceptions to that, but they are rare. Um I thought the Eagles two thousand seven album was really good. Yeah. Was like could fit in it was a double album if you made it into like just one kick-ass album, it would be fit in their oeuvre pretty well. But there are people that we love, desperately love. Desperately. That write stuff now that is And have for twenty-five years. Right. Not been good. Right. Because part of it I think is um you get too ahead of the parade . Like you always want to be like a little ahead of the audience. Right. Otherwise you're over. But not so far ahead. They're like, what? Right. And I think sometimes you're so good that like, oh, I've done that and this would be different. It's like, yeah, but I just want to , you know, you gotta hit that sweet spot. Where it's where it's striking me as something a little different, but not so alien that me, just the young man in the twenty second row, can't appreciate it because I'm not a musician. Mm-hmm. I could just appreciate what you do.. Mm-hmm So it's ki guess the equivalent of being like a a comics comic. Mm-hmm . Who, you know, makes the other comics laugh. Right. And, you know, I always felt like that was what you like like I always felt you you had catch like you always had kind of a attitude about catch like this is a shiny object it was because it was the hot club right yes you didn't you weren't the man at the hot club, you were at the comics of the hot club the hot club was Belzer, and it was the hot club because it like that's where the stars went, and the celebrities went and the mafia was there. And it was just uh you know, the singers and Belzer. It was and I think you were just like, okay, enjoy your shiny object because I'm going to just do what I do, which isn't quite as flamboyant as some of this other stuff going on, and I will be the bigger star because I'm going to be on television, which is a cool medium perfectly suited to me. I never I but felt I read that on you. Well you can read it, but I never thought thought it or felt it. But it would turn out to be true. Yeah well that you're you have the a a an amazing eye for those kinds of things. I just in those days, Bill, I wasn't. But I just felt like you that the the fact that it was ill suited to your exact persona. It was. was Was a to your credit because again, that wasn't what was going to make you a star. Jumping around on the piano and all that blah blah. Same as the comedy star out here. A lot of ugh stuff I did. I did. And when I would see those guys sometimes they would come to the comic strip and struggle. And I would realize, oh, they're out of context and it's not working. And that's not what this game's about. This game is about put me in any context and I'll make it work. Right. That's the bigger game to play. Yes, you and I had an argument many times about like is there such a thing as a bad crowd? Oh yeah. And I of course took the position, yes . When they don't like me, you're bad . Yeah. And you took the position, again, more mature, goofers and gallant, always allant believes. And you're right in there's no right. It's just it's just a sport. You're playing it. It's a better attitude to have. Right. Yes. You know, you were like But you're also right. Of course there's bad crubs. Yes, but you one said, uh Of course they're in a bad mood. Why do you think they're at a comedy club? You're the doctor. They don't come to the doctor when they when they feel well, yeah. Right. So that's funny. It's another piece of advice I remembered and put it No, I got around everything. It just Yeah. Some people just takes a long time. Yeah. You know. What about uh I mean everybody's uh who cares? See, this is not why you're not afraid of dying. Everything that comes into your head is who cares. I mean, don't you feel that changing? I mean, I'm 70 and I really feel things changing in my perspective. Names I have I who is this singer? Uh all these things, even politics, even social movements . Uh I'm reading a lot of Marcus Aurelius. Have you ever read that? In college. Absolutely. You should pick it up again. It's really great. Meditations, what's it called? Meditations. Right. He was the Roman Emperor in one eighty A. he is a fantastic guy to get you to zoom out and go all these things you're worried about, all these things that you see happening, they've all happened before. They're all gonna happen again, every everything that you're worried about is much smaller than it is that you make it in your head. That's his basic message. And he being told that by the Emperor of Rome in 150 A.D. Right is a very nice daily. I read it almost every day. I'll read a page or two. And I just I love to imagine him in his bedroom there, the the the the leader of uh the entire world, an emperor , a Roman emperor, and saying, yes, are you gonna talk to a a lot of annoying people today? That's what every day is like. Why are you surprised? People are annoying. I like to imagine the peasants of one fifty AD . Hey, did you hear the Emperor has a new track of treaties out? Oh, great. I can't wait to can't wait to pick it up. What's uh he was like the Sam Harris of his day. He had he had the morning meditation and Yeah. Um by the way, if people want to have an image of who Marcus Aurelius is, think of the movie Gladiator. Yeah. And he was played by Peter O'T. I thought it was Joaquin Phoenix. He played he played the son. Marcus Aurelius. Who kills his father. Who kills Marcus Aurelius in the beginning? Well, not in real life, though. I think he did . No, no, no. No? No, he died of natural causes in his fifties. You know a lot about Marcus Aurelius. I'm kind of into him these days. That's amazing. Yeah. I didn't think I'd ever hear that from you. Why? Well, just because you didn't seem like a history buff and that's I'm not really, but I do I love philosophy and I love his philosophy. And I just find it helpful. I I like I like shrinking things down. Yes you do. Yes you do. And you do it better than anybody. Oh thank you. I mean I always say that about you. Like the the act that like every single person can love and the most intelligent person in the room is also not insulted by it. Right. And that's a it's uh I feel like excellence is always uh getting to that golden mean. Yes. Of like the two things that are in opposition, but somehow you bring them together. Right. You know. It's a it's well that's what I'm uh I think you might find that in the in the Unfrosted, the the Pop Tart movie. It's a silly I idea for a movie, but it and the jokes are silly, but as we know, there are no silly jokes. They're they're either good or they're not. And you'll find there's a level of sophistication in the silliness. That is my ultimate. When I first saw Monty Python when I was a kid on PBS in the early 70s. I lost my mind . The sophisticated silliness that they were doing absolutely lit me up like this is everything that I want. Everything that I love. I think Get Smart had that. I think Peter Sellers had that. Um he's acting dumb, but there is such a sophistication to it. It's because as we know as comedians, acting dumb is really not you know, Laurel and Hardy are not stupid. No, no. I wasn't a Stooges guy, but Laurel and Hardy is elegant and sophisticated. You were not a stoogious guy? No. No. I didn't like Mo. He may he's he's I think he's funny. Curly, he was carrying the whole damn show. But we were five. I mean No, not I wasn't. I watched comedians when I was five years old going this guy's got to be Did you watch watch ? Did you watch Officer Joe Bolton? Of course. Okay. Yeah, yeah. He had the Stooges. I watched it. And Superman also? No. They had uh those movie shorts. Superman just stood by itself. Yeah, yeah. That was a real series. Oh I remember. I mean. And still pretty good, by the way. I've been watching that lately. I uh to me, uh George Reeves is the greatest of Superman of all time. His sophistication and those double breasted suits, that's another reason I wanted to do unfrosted. I wanted to look like uh George Reeves. Did you like that Superman show when they would close the door of the sandwich shake? What? I lived for it. You know this. Really? When I was a kid. Yeah. I remember in high school, I wish I found I probably have that somewhere in my rat pack file, but I we made a list of every episode that we could remember . Like there was probably a hundred episodes. Wow. I remember all the episodes. We've talked about it. Caboreum X. Yeah . I mean I got to do a commercial with Jack Larson and Noel Neal in uh I think it did the American Express thing. I mean I know one of those c one of your first ones. It was like that is so you. Yeah. And then somebody else had a great bit about um it's a bird, it's a plane. Who mistakes a bird with a whose whose joke is that? I don't know, but I heard that's a good one too. Yeah. It's like a perfect example of that bit that like it was laying there on the ground. Yeah. Anybody could have seen it. Yeah. Right? I I have a Frankenstein bit I'm doing now about the sport jacket. Why is he wear ing a sport jacket? It's an AI bit. It's a part of an AI bit about making fake brains is risky. We can see that from Frankenstein. Oh that's a great joke. Yeah, exactly. And he goes, Well, I thought maybe we'd go someplace nice afterwards. No, it's Romania in 1820. There's no place nice. No one's gonna say to you, I'm sorry, Mr. Stein, it's jackets only this evening. That's hysterical . That's funny. I talk about monsters now with uh you know, the toxic masculinity that they're always talking about. It's true, men are toxic. What are we talking about? When you say men have been f ruined by the phone. Yeah. And pornography. You know. And uh it's rapey, it's uh it's domineering, it's not you know, it's just and this is what young men see. Uhhuh. You know, when when I was when we were kids it was if you had a Playboy Right. That was huge. Yeah. Now they see horrible things, you know. mean choking and spanking. Oh God. What ? That's horrible. I know. I mean what these kids are are when you think about how innocent our childhood was. Yes. The the level of innocence is just like from a a different what? Yeah. Oh absolutely. And you we can't fix it, Bill. It's absolutely why do you think I'm always trying to fix it? I'm just there's a difference between being uh uh trying to remedy something and just being amazed by it. I talk uh like age, fascin ates me. It's and people say, oh, don't worry about it. I'm not worried about it. I'm just fascinated by it. Right. I'm fascinated by different generations. I'm fascinated by how different I the differences that I could see in my lifetime. Right. Yeah . I know . And I rem I said to my mother one time who passed about ten years ago at the age of ninety nine. And I remember asking her one time, Do you remember when cars suddenly became popular? She said, Oh yeah. Yeah. My mother . When she was born, there were there was no cars around. When my mother was born, women couldn't vote. Right. Nineteen nineteen. Yeah. Sh women got the vote in nineteen twenty. Right. I say to my kids, your kids are gonna say to you, you mean they let people just get in cars and go as fast as they wanted? Yeah, for the most part. I mean there were r laws, but people did pretty much whatever they want. My grandma didn't they crash and die all the time. Yeah. Well, and and children died often. They get kicked by a horse on the farm. That's why they had a lot of kids. They expected a few of them to better or worse? The way we value life today or the way we we were more cas so much more casual about it in in years past. I mean it's so easy to say, oh you know, back to please, we are so seduced by and I am as much as anyone, by c creature comforts and convenience. No, I don't with all the bullshit going on, we live in the most amazing fucking timeses.. Y I mean the the climate change is probably gonna get us at some point, but it hasn't yet. Right. We walked out here today, we weren't like evaporated by the rays of the sun or something. I mean we'd had it was a beautiful day. Yeah, but the grass is green, the sky is blue. I know it's really not. There's lots of things going on behind the scenes that are horrible, blah, blah, blah. But we're still living in that time where we're basically, you know, yes, health certain Lincoln River's ugly head and there's lots of poisons everywhere and lots of terrible things and Trump could do this and democracy and blah blah blah, nuclear war. But for the moment, you know, when I've said that at dinner with people and they're like, well, the world's ending. Look around you, you fuck, you dumbass. We're we're at this fucking awesome restaurant. They're bringing you this food. It's probably gonna this dinner's gonna cost $700. You're not even gonna fucking blink at paying the check. Shut the fuck up about how terrible th things is. When they're gonna g I'm not gonna lose my nervous system about Trump again. If he ends the world, he's gonna end the world. I'm not gonna fucking go nuts a again uh if he wins another term. I just can't. Uh have that wherewithal Well what are you gonna do? I don't it. I'm trying to stay right there. Yes. No. Right. Exactly. That that that uh I mean that that generation, especially the Z generation. But your kid I mean your kids are great. Thank you. I mean f I've I think with great parenting you can still make great kids. Sure. Um Well you don't really make them. You you you have a you you have a hand in it. You're like the manager. Yeah, you're the manager. You give them advice, they take it, they don't take it. A good manager check like six to eight games each. That's right. That's right. You think that's all a parent can do? I have no idea. But wait, you raised three kids. It's mostly what you didn't do wrong, really bad stuff. But mostly the way we were raised, you were kind of left to your own devices and you're in a fairly healthy environment and hopefully you make decent choices. And the same is true today. I remember that night you and Chris Rock were in my dressing room before the show and I asked him something you guys something like, oh your kids, do they play together? And you both went, Bill , the wives handle that I I got okay that's I see. Yeah I have the most amazing wife. I really love my wife. I I got to a point with my wife now that I can't believe uh how great she is. Because I can't really say that, but um you know, I mean in the single world it was always it always rand I always runs out of gas. And I found a woman where it never runs out. I'm always excited to see her. That's great. We always have fun. It's fun. It's fun. But it's uh it's again, it's a little bit of luck. Or maybe it's instinct. I don't know. But you're are you an empty nestorner? Not yet. But you will be. I will be in a few months, yeah. And and is that a big changeover? That's what people say, but I don't Justin and I are we feel we're good. But so but it must be a it's gotta be a big difference without the sound of children fro But Bill, all these things The passage of time, and I'm just remarking and I'm I'm fascinated by it. I yeah, I I'm I'm fascinated and I enjoy that that's over and now we're doing this. And anything else in life.. Okay Well you just characterize what I think about maybe quitting stand-up. Okay. I've enjoyed it, but maybe you know. That's cool. That's very cool of you to uh let your mind be that free. That's cool. I I mean I think it's always great to stretch to put yourself out of your . Just change the menu. We're doing this now. Yeah, exactly. Right . Because you know, at our age , you know, it's an ageist country. They're always going to try to move you out. I mean it's the nature of what? Uh not a un un not another thing. Nobody cares how old you are. Well that's another reason why I uh I would add it to the hopper about me maybe getting out of it. I do think there is a a generational element to stand up. Because humor is not something that translates through the ages that well. And um, like the the humor of today is a lot more about feelings, nothing more than feelings. And like people want to see someone of their own generation. I get it. Of course, but they also want to see people that can really do it. I understand that. Some can and some can't, and it's irrespective of age or any or anything. Yes, that's true too. But you're coming but you're an icon, you know. Thank you. I'm gonna be nicer when you give a comment. I mean to be nicer. I didn't mean it like that. Okay. I just meant I meant you you don't have to all you have to do is put your name in the paper and it'll sell out. Right. Maybe if I was there , I would still do it. You know, that would that would be an element that would influence me. I think it's probably not. I think I'd still make this decision. Right, right. But um, but yeah, it makes it a lot easier, you know. I mean the audience that comes is certainly a great I mean look I love it's a love affair because anytime they're paying a hard money ticket to see you, you know, they love they want you to do what you do very specifically. And I just want to do it for them. Right. So well. You know. I'm getting sad, Bill, that this show is almost over. I was I and I I really was looking forward to this as much as you were. Oh. Because it's you and uh I also just love the vibe of this show. Well and uh I have one more thing to show you from my from my thing. This was my father's . How I met Hollywood's Biggest Stars by Bill Maher. This is amazing. What in the world? W what is this? It's some gag gift somebody gave my father in nineteen sixty whatever. Oh, it's great. And it's all Chinese, fol ks. We were so innocent. Yeah. Well , as a great man once said, it's so nice when it happens, but Oh God, Bill, you did it again. Freddie DeCordovae, after my first tonight show, put his arm around me as we walked off the set . And he said, It's so nice when it happens good. If you don't know you're in show business at that moment,