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Club Random with Bill Maher

Bill Maher

Longevity and the Future of Aging

From Paul Anka | Club Random with Bill MaherMay 25, 2026

Excerpt from Club Random with Bill Maher

Paul Anka | Club Random with Bill MaherMay 25, 2026 — starts at 0:00

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I'll never forget a conversation I had with people that were close to government and they said something really interesting . They said Now the Kessler twins were six feet tall. Okay, well this is a very rock star. Thank you if you wanted to use it for the answer to that question. I hear footsteps. Be still my beating heart. I feel the aura . Hey. He youy, got all dressed up for me, buddy. Total not just for you, as you. Oh you . As you. This is my best . It looks good. Your lady saw me like that in Florida. Look at this gold watch. Oh boy. Diamond and Onyx cufflinks. Well you c say I don't wear cufflinks anymore. What? I don't wear cufflinks anymore. I you cut I don't either. I don't like we'll do it to gar But we g well you're here. I can't believe the classiest guy in the world is here in my rat sceller. Listen, this is some seller. I gotta tell you, I look at the memories on this wall. 450 for the Beatles ticket. And I was responsible for getting them over here. Did you know that? Oh, that Beatles poster . Chase Dead Eam, August 23rd, 1965. I was nine. Well, I wasn't I was eighteen, seventeen, something like that. You were you were a teeny bopper star. I was a teeny everything. Oh, I know. I've remained I've remained a teeny other . It's just amazing the ch apters in your life, the documentary HBO. We talked about it on real time. But um it's you know if anybody was begging for a documentary because like you you you just forget so many different compartments in your life, and then you put it all together, and there's just not a dull moment in the thing, because it goes from, you know, teeny bopper, that's kind of interesting, and then, you know, to down for a while because the 60s and you know the Beatles and those assholes came in. They were good assholes. I was happy. No, I was happy it happened, frankly, you know, because I'd met them in Europe and uh kept hounding my agents to bring them over and trying to educate them who they were, not in a media driven society. They had no idea. But you know what happened when they came, Bill? It was really good for me. Because up until then, you know, even though we had shifted the culture, all the teenagers, the um pop music was not accepted. You know. That's true of everybody. Yeah, we had our fans and the adults hated us, clergy hated us, et cetera. Well that's why the kids like you. Yeah, exactly. That's what you want. Yeah, yeah, totally. But then when they hit, Madison Avenue opened up. There's a lot of attention on music. And then I said, Wow, this is cool. And I was writing and I was living in Europe. It was cool for me. A lot of my buddies got hurt, but you know, it's the way the business goes. Is writing. In music. You know, it's like y you in basketball we say creating your own shot. You know, you don't need a guy to pass it to you. That's right. That's uh rare. Uh but some can do it. And same thing in music. I mean the b that's really to me, that's what they and Dylan that was the biggest revolution. It was that the artists were writing their own material. Before that, artists did not No. Right? No, very rare. Sinantra never wrote a song. Never wrote a song. Presley didn't write put his name on a few as we discussed on the show. That's a whole other thing. No, that's the same. But most of them did not write their own music. But as I stated on the show to you, you know, I realized that early that without the writ ers, whether it's TV, movies, songs, what have you, there are no success stories. There's no record companies, there's no lawyers, there's no age, there's nothing. The writer or the written, the play is the thing is everything. Everything. You know what I never understand about uh songwriting is how could it possibly be? There's only like twelve notes, right? How could it possibly mathematically be that there's any song that hasn't been written? It just seems like it's the hardest thing in the world I'm I don't write songs, but to to like how can those how can there be so many combination of notes that are different if it is a finite number twelve, which I'm sure does have a you know multiplication factor . Of course. And yet they keep doing it. Yeah. You and it has to be simple. You wanna write a hit song, you gotta do it with one finger. When you look at those notes, if you can play it on one f inger, you got a chance of having a hit. When you get too fancy, it's all these great composers that have done these films, et cetera. They've never written hit songs. It's so complicated. If you just keep it simple on that finger . That important finger, that active finger. I mean, look, as I always say, I'm just the young man in the 22nd row. I'm just a fan, which is very liberating, not to have any mus ical talent, but to my ear, and I am a big music fan. Yeah. And I'm so glad we having this time as opposed to the show when you were plugging like nine things. I c now I can talk to you about the music, which I'm a big fan of. And but it just seems to me from my ear that it's a little more complicated than Bing Bing Bing. Because it's there's a certain sort of um crying quality in in certain songs that just gets to me. You know, like um Hold Me Till the Morning Comes. Perfect example. I mean, to me that's you know, who who is it with you on that? Um David Foster? No, no, no. Peter Sotera. Peter Sotera. Peter Sotera. Yeah, he did a great job. Great singer. Yeah. But you know when you when you construct those songs we're we're very aware of kind of buttons that we have to push. And going back to good being the enemy of great, you can't just sit down and write it. Everybody can write a song. Most people do. But to hit the real magic and to get the money notes, it takes a little crafting and awareness. And when you look at the success of Cole Porter, he wrote in a lot of minor keys . And in a minor key you can really evoke a lot of emotion. Irving Berlin had a piano that was put in one key, the key of F. He never played in any other key. I've heard that. that I think intuitively I think even the casual listener gets it that it is the minor keys. You can hear that. You can hear it absolutely. But still, like since that secret's out of the bag, any it's not like yeah, it's not like anybody could just sit down and go, Oh, well I know the secret, minor keys. Yeah. It has to be some further and it it doesn't have to play off of major keys because that it's the change that evokes the emo Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, it's a it's a craft and like e everybody's given a craft. Everybody's given something. But that gave you eternal life. You could take it. Totally. You could reinvent yourself as many times as you needed to. And you know, for me, again, uh in that I was way too young for your early teeny bauper thing. Okay, uh, I was in the crib. Okay. Right. So uh but by the time I was listening to music like in the late 60s. Right. Like um folk Dylan, all that stuff at home. Well, Beatles and you know, I feel like I got onto you in the 70s. Like you were, you know, I was like a young man, and you were like the kind of guy I wanted to be, you know, tan. I always wanted to be It's very easy, just get out in the sun. Well, no, no, everybody label I love the sun. That's because you're a heritage. My Irish people that doesn't that doesn't work for us. You know, just go in the sun. Yeah, you just look better. Yeah the more you're in the sun. In case of a tie I get a tan, because I hate makeup. You know what taught me? Kerry Grant. He said don't wear makeup. And this goes way back to Vegas. And he never wore makeup and even Dean, you know, a whole bunch of us were kind of taught to get a tan and don't put that stuff in your hand. Yeah, your fucking guineas don't need makeup. Exactly. Yeah, no kidding. Right. Your skin is olive. That's what I always want. So I like you in the 70s, you were like, you know, I I if if you weren't in the rat pack, you were on the waiting list. You you know, you were like the I was in there. You were in there. Oh, as a junior member, with a member. Oh, absolutely. I saw it all. No, no, I did it all. I mean I felt like you were anyway, so as a young man of that age, it was like that is what I want. Guy in Vegas. The songs were all like about sex. As much as you could do, but you know, she's a one man woman and I'm a two time man. And not to apologize. And I can't help myself, I'll do it again. Yeah. Listen, the women first thing I got into was the women. Uh you know, I wasn't a great guy with chicks when I was a kid. I got a hit record flooded open. And then I made up for it. You know, all of a sudden I was getting action I never dreamed of getting. In every country, every flavor. So I stayed with it as opposed to other naughty things. And that was it. for me Yeah, because music just really gets the women. My theory always is I mean besides that we all love music on a very visceral level. Right. But for women, what they crave is men being more open, more communicative, saying the things they want to hear as opposed to grunting guy, uh, sure I love you, whatever. Me too, you know. So that's what a lot of music is. It's it's a man, if it's a man, mm. Can be a woman, but certainly uh you know, two women, uh heterosexual women and of course that could be anything. You have to apologize for everything before we even say it to start the It's a door opener. It's the door opener music. Yes, exactly. And the other goes to the brain. Right. That's comedians. I know. That's why we all want to be singers. That's why I want to be a comedian. I'm sick of the other. I don't want it's always a big to go through the brain? Jesus Christ. It's like that straight or her moose. I gotta go through there to get to When you get to sex. It's all the brain. But so it came it all came up. You know, you can't write songs I left my bra in and stuff. It doesn't sing. Somebody came up with we're gonna use heart. The heart does nothing in sex. It's all up here. You know that. The heart's meaning. Remember Doctor Ruth? Sure. Hello, I'll learn Bill. I want you. I like to be on your show. Yes, sex if you do it three times a day, you will clip for twenty years Exact very good impression. Thank you sir. The kids don't know, but she has she's on TV all the time at for a while as a sex therapist, this little hermunculus uh German lady. She was a f she was a uh a fire uh what do you call fire she was a taller hydrant fire hydrant uh I was taller than her. Her and Sammy Davis I towered over. Dubious distinction. But she would always say the most important uh sexual organ is the brain. You know. And I and I guess it's true. I mean certain well it's certainly true as you get older as I I'm just speaking I won't speak for all men, but for this man, and I think uh this is all men. Yeah. You know, you're so you have so many hormones racing through your body when you're fifteen, twenty years old. That's right. That you know, the brain, yeah, it's involved, but like your dick it's hard when the wind blows, you know. So you so you're but the older you get, which is why people also go to perverted things, because they just get jaded. That's right. But whoever it is gave us a dick and a brain and not enough blood for both, and that still prevails at you at later age. What's the most rock star thing you ever did? Oh God, do we have the time ? Oh my god. You know. It's so eclectic in many years. I think it all I think I have to go back to Vegas, you know, because we had uh you know, working for those guys and working with the Red The Mob, it was such an experience for me. I learned so much from them, believe it or not. These were gentlemen. I mean, these guys, yeah, they they were the coolest guys ever. But I think the craziest thing I did out of the box to was always show girls. We had everything that we wanted. I think I wound up with you know, I wound up in a steam room with about twelve of them with Jimmy Webb. You know the the composer . MacArthur Park is melting in the dark. That's right. We took police. I think there must have been, I don't know, eight, twelve of them into the steam room at the Sands Hotel. And of course, at that point in time we knew what to do or tried our best. Was it was the steam on ? I couldn't tell. I was so effective. Because like I I I mean the idea of like having vigorous sex while you're in the steam Oh you gotta get out of the steam. You g getotta Oh you get on the massage tables. Oh yeah, we were out. No no when I'd stay too long in there I'd have a hose put in there with cold water. And I used to dose myself with cold water. That's how I'd stay long in a steam room. But when we were in action, no no no. We'd go in, play around, go out and then we're not things to do, right? To go to the steam room. Yeah. We always everybody met there after work. Everybody got haircut. We all went together. And you got naked and went in there together. Well anyone who had anyone who had clothes on he he was not allowed to do. You can imply anything you want, you'll get an honest action. And poor Dean was in the corner singing, Ooh, little things mean a lot . That was the rumor. When they it's not a rumor. Eva Gardner, somebody asked her many years ago, 'cause I never talked out of school about him 'cause I adored him. She said somebody said, Is it true about Mr Sinatra that he's it's she said, Let me tell you this. He weighs a hundred and twenty pounds and twenty pounds is his cock. That's the famous Eva Gardner line and she was right. Did you read the biography by his valet, George? Albert? No, George. Yes, I did. It's one of the greatest books I've ever read. Read the best book. And I hear someone's doing a movie about it. It's brilliant. And it's so insightful. And it's a guy and it I I I believe it word for word because um he's not he doesn't spare Frank um mentioning his flaws, including he could be very cruel. Yeah. And was cruel to George. But George, he was generally so great to him that he doesn't he doesn't have any bitterness about it. Even though like he did like just mean practical jokes sometimes like and in this case he left him in Israel like with no money and uh they they thought that was hysterical. Yeah. But he was a a true pioneer in breaking down racial barriers. Absolutely. And he treated he like on a one-to-one level, him and Sammy Davis Jr. I mean he treated them in an era where where white men did not always do that. Absolutely And I was there in Vegas when Sammy could not come into our hotel. And Frank put his foot down and moved them all out of the black hotels and said they work in this hotel or I'm not here. He changed it. Everyone came over and lived at the sands when they weren't allowed to . I love when you do his songs. I'm Not Anyone. What? The song I'm Not Anyone? You mean Sammy's or Frank's? Frank's. Oh no, like you've covered it a lot y you did September of my year. No, you Oh yeah I did uh when I was seventeen. You should do September of my years. I was thinking about it. I'm looking at it right there. I've got an arrangement on my piano. But I d the lyrically it's you know, I look at my whole gig when I do it and I try to not repeat lyrics. I don't want to get into it. Yeah, it's very similar to when I was seventeen. And when I was seventeen, I'd rather do him seventeen. But the song I wrote, Pivoting, for Sammy Davis, I thought you saw it in in the dock, that's one of the most important songs to me that I've written and one of that I cherish called I'm Not Anyone And he and I do it together on stage. But that was a real moment for me writing that for Sammy, 'cause he was the most talented guy of all of us. And even Frank would agree. That man was something. When you look at Prince or you look at Mars, all these kids today, even Michael, they're all copying the moves of Sammy Davis and James Brown and Jackie Wilson. But Sammy was the guy . I'd sit off stage Bill and watch him. It was remarkable what he did. He was a terrible guy. Yeah, I mean that's in the George Jacobs book. That even Frank thought that.. That's correct And and that Ava, he was so talented, Ava he said I kind of had a crush on him. On Sammy? Yeah . A lot of women did. Yeah. He he scored big time suddenly. But that's the one Frank didn't want to hear that though. accurately because he was kind of bipolar. I mean you you see in the music. I forget who I was talking to about this here, but he he like the music is either like um very up out of the tree alive I, pick me up, plumber , you know, all this uh climb me to the m very up , you know, optimistic people were in those days. You know, like I got the world on a rainbow. Rainbow. A lot of plum picking and rainbows. Good times for white people. Very good times for white people. Or it's uh it's quarter to three. No one 'll shoot myself with me. Well you know, when he sit in a bar, we used to sit with him. He never forgot that chick. When he listened to a piano, he truly loved this woman It is the theme of the book. Yeah. Because George was with him from like the early 50s when he got with Ava. I think he had already been with her when George . Frank poached him from some That's right, the agent. Right. So uh and and through the and uh w his downfall was he he dan when when Frank was married to Mia Farrow , he was at the Peppermint Lounge like with her, I think it was that club, some club here in LA, and uh, you know, kind of like bodyguarding her, but they were friends and was photographed with looking like he was dancing with her. Okay, well then, you know, and when Frank cut you off, it was like it was complete. That's right. You know, there was there was no no smiley faces being te xted. It's gonna lose my number. But uh yes, the the theme really is Ava. Like he has at one point he says something like uh every love song he sang was about Ava and every woman he was with was an attempt to forget her . That's so he did have that side to him though. Well he did, there's no question about it. Right. No, you you you saw the many moods, you know, um , but for me I adored this guy, you know, what I learned from him and being around him and I understood. You know, people have this misconception of who we are as artists because I don't know that all artists when they start, Bill, know who the hell they are. They're trying to pretend to be somebody that they think they are. And I've seen that for so many years. You know, th that first they most of us came from modest backgrounds. You get on this this kind of journey of success. And all you're saying to yourself is, will I ever get smart enough to deal with it? Find out who I am? You know, and and I've seen that in so many Really? Oh, absolutely. Are you talking about yourself? Well, I was trying to find out who I was to what age. I think it started breaking through when I was around twenty two. I started believing and getting a grasp on who and what I was about. Yeah. Wow, that was way before I got a clue. Twenty you were in com edy. I was in music. Oh well, it's it's a huge obligation and challenge. I was all over the world, right down to was the first one to ever go to a communist country. I was getting on a plane in Switzerland and these uh militia were coming with dogs and uh you know, the guns and they were putting this guy on the plane and he sat right in front of me. Big, big guy, bald head and he sat down, they all sat around me and I was flying from Geneva to Paris. And uh he said, What do you do? I said, I'm a singer. I said, Oh. What do you sing? I said, I sing my own song, blah, blah, blah. He says, What's your name? I said, Paulanke. He said, Pol anka. Polanka? I'm the president of Poland. I mean what are the odds on, right? I said, well nice to meet you. He said, would you ever come to my country? I'm going to say no. I'm at 30,000 feet with guys with kids. I said, yeah, whatever, you know. So I get home, fade out, fade in, I get a call from the State Department. Like two months later, they said, Did you meet the president of Poland on a public ? I said, Yeah. Well there's fifteen thousand dollars in the Bank of America and we would like you to go. I said, really ? Go to Poland? To Poland. Why? To sing for his people. You know, I was a Oh he he deposited fifteen . Oh yeah, he did, yeah, yeah. Well whoever they even said yes to the gig? Before. The it had to go through the State Department. He went through the State Department. And what did you do? I went . You did? I said . Why if you didn't want to? I didn't say I didn't want to. I couldn't give him a quick answer. It wasn't like going to Vegas or Fountain Blue. It's Poland we're talking about . No. So I'm and I'm curious. You know I've lived my life. What year was it? Nineteen sixty Oh, so they were still behind the iron curtain? Oh yes. Oh. Was it sixty-three? Yeah, I'll tell you when it was because I'm spacing it. I go over. First of all, we check in a hotel, one bathroom for the whole floor, no room service, and dark and bleak. I go to the Canadian Embassy. I And say Can, I have some ham and some food and some bread? I mean it was atro the only thing I had was vod ka. The Polish vodka with the straw in it. I mean we blasted out every ham, cracking. Oh they did have that. Oh yeah. Well the embassy gave it to me. Oh I see. So now they started bringing these people to these shows on these streetcars, and the tracks went right into the stadiums. And every night when I'd go to work, I'd see like old factories in the distance and one light. It was depressing, right? But the people were amazing. They were unbelievable. They knew the music because they were manufacturing postcards and putting my music on a postcard and selling it to the people behind the iron curtain. So now the point of all this , I'm sitting with this guy from United Press like this, around six at night, and there was an old radio in the corner. And they were pumping in radio few uh radio free uh uh Europe and they have a limited vocabulary. It's like talking to Arnold Schwarzenegger. There's like sixty words. So like sixty words. And I'm sitting with this guy and I hear the guy goes and president Kennedy landed in Dallas at one and he was shot and it's just and do you know when you're so removed that's where you heard it? Sitting in a dressing room in Poland with this guy . I said to this guy, I said , I think Kennedy's just killed. He said, What do you mean? We go over to the radio. Sure enough, I start crying. I go on stage a few minutes later and place was packed and all government people I said, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going home. My president's just been killed. But I will come back one day. I just have to go home. Right. The place they loved him. They went nuts. The next day at the airport, people were coming up on matchbox covers writing, We loved him. Uh the Russians did it I'll never forget that day. supposedly part of the Warsaw Pact, of course led by the Soviet Union and we were the enemy. We were NATO and the West and America and there were c communists and you know in the Soviet orbit and we were supposed to just totally fucking hate each other. That's right. So the fact that they reacted this way shows you it was all a facade. And I had the same a total because when I went to Czechoslovakia , they heard about Poland. I went back a couple of years later to Czechoslovakia and they assigned a communist member, this woman, Natalie Lich iva and she was a communist member and she said to me, you know , they're not all communists, there's only a million of us, and she'd show me her card. And every night at dinner we'd debate about my country, the US, what we stand for, and what she thought about us. And we would go back and forth after every show. But the people were amazing. They'd show up. I'd go down and do a show in the bar, there'd be a few hundred that would show up. And the last dinner when we said goodbye, I said, you know , hopefully one day you'll understand where I'm coming from. Fade out, fade in. I get a letter from this woman about a year ago, a year after the date. Remember when the Russians moved in with the tanks and took over Czechoslovakia? Sixty eight. Yeah. They move in. She writes me a letter. She said, Dear Mr. Anka, you were so right. Wow. About what we have to live through. You are so rude about your country. Can you help me? My daughter, who you met, and I met this kid of hers, I've smuggled her out of Czechoslovakia to Belgium, and I don't have any money to pay. I said this is from the US. I answered her. I sent her the money. I put the kid through school. Country . It makes me so frustrated when I see so much sympathy for communism among kids today because they just are not taught history. And just because we lived through it doesn't really reach them because they're entitled and they think they know everything. And that's a lot of youth of every generation who think you know everything. Okay. But w we did try this. It is an evil evil system that just doesn't work. I don't know what debate you were having around the uh Bratwurst barrel there at twelve thirty at night uh when you were twenty two years old arguing for America, but you know , my arg ument would be you're fucking standing in line for a potato. And have you seen our supermarkets? I mean , you have to harness human nature to make any institution successful. Human nature is selfish. That's right. Communism pretends it is not. That's right. Quick update, small tweak, famous last words. Four hours later, you've got 17 tabs open, three half-finished drafts, and a deep personal grudge against the whole project. Well, that's when you hand it to Claude. Claude is the AI for mines that don't stop at good enough. It's the collaborator that actually understands your entire workflow and thinks with you. Whether you're debugging code at midnight or strategizing your next business move, Claude extends your thinking to tackle the problems that matter, and instead of just spitting out answers, it actually worked through it. It dug into the problem, pulled together research from a ton of sources, and started connecting things in a way that, well, felt annoyingly thoughtful. Like, oh, this is what you're supposed to do. We've had Claude build a couple of internal tools on the fly, dashboards, trackers , just by describing what we wanted, no coding, no delays, which really makes you question how much time you've wasted before. And connecting it to our Google Workspace was a game changer . For problems worth solving, get started with Claude at Claude.ai /slash clubrandom. You know, there's a moment in life, I'd say somewhere after 30, but definitely by the time your knees start cracking. 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Doctors, Ph Ds, over a thousand clinicians back it and they've sold more than 50 million doses, so somebody's on to something. Take Cheers Restore after your last drink or before going to bed and wake up feeling at least 50% better or your money back. For a limited time, our listeners are getting 20% off their entire order by using code random at cheers health.com. Just head to cheers health .com and use code random for 20% off. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. If I had to write a book on communism, I would just put that sentence in there. That's it. That's it. Thin book. Thin I mean Bill Mars thin books. Bill I'd come home in both countries, you'd see lines around the block in these little stores for toothpaste , for food, for a T shirt. Everyone in my band and myself, we left everything we brought. I left my clothes, everything. My suitcases were empty in both countries. I just gave them away . Gave them away. I saw in the documentary somebody comes up to you and some foreign country, and it was very similar to the what you just said, like, oh, you know, you're so modest and humble, unlike so many people in this business. They were you're you're so um gracious about if somebody doesn't know you right away, you don't you you have none of that really, you don't know who I am. You and you just and and like in two seconds they do, oh you're that Oh you mean the two the three kids from Chicago. Yes. The ice cream in Japan. They were like from somewhere . They're from Chicago. Yeah, okay. But they were not Americ. Yeah, America. The kid was from Chicago. His father had had all my albums, and one kid was from Australia. But as soon as you said your name, they were like i it clicked. Yeah. You know. And that's a that's a great quality, you know, because people you know, you you you do your your career with great joy, it reads. You know, you you w when sing , you know, you you do it more joyfully . You know, you were such a you're such a worthy successor to Sinatra. Like you you're the only one still kind of hitting that beat for a lot of us. Oh yeah. Yes. But you do great covers. That's why I'm suggesting. You know what else you could do? Uh you're so right for what's wrong. Oh my god, you've got a good one there. Yeah. Not my version. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. You're so right for what's wrong in my life. Very romantic. Yeah, yeah. Um Yeah, well he listen, if you heard the thing about Sinatra was no matter what you listen to, as soon as it came on, within five seconds, it puts you in the mood. Five seconds. And he's ruined it for every other singer for years for trying to stand in front of a big swing orchestra. Because nobody likes him. Big swing orchestra. Oh, I'm so glad you reminded me of that because , you know, this part. You don't Oh I do, but I'm driving. Okay. Yeah, but I'll I'll take a hip. Okay. This is a good as mine. Oh, yeah. So usually when I get home I get recreation. It's all right, everybody in the room. Oh, so what were we just talking about? So the bees went, oh big orchestra. Oh, the yes, yes. And you bumped. Yes, thank you so much. Um you know my favorite record of yours is rock swings. Oh man, I had fun making that. And uh Pete Etteris I mean so many great songs and of course, you know, I love uh I always played on my birthday. I have a little birthday Times Your Life? Yes. Yeah, that's from the Having My Baby album. Yeah. Yes, Having My Baby. More seventies . Yeah. Well, you know what I mean? She's my best friend's wife. Oh yeah, my friend. Wow, you're really hitting them. Oh, I hope you're not the love of my life. You wow. There's a song you had out that was it was like almost exactly Barry White . It ha it has like the complete Well the disco with Odia Coates? Oh Odia Coates is on Never Gonna Fall in Love Again like I fell in love with you. Is that the one? Never the disco? I think it's called You Can Pay Me Back in Love? You can Pay Me Back in Love. Do you Boy No I don't wanna I don't wanna remember that. No, it's actually not bad. But it does sound like you're you're just completely channeling Barry White. Do you know I love Barry White? I love Barry White. Oh. He let me his like top ten are awesome. He is so authentic, he is so honest. The groove and the when he gets it, it's nothing like I agree. I would sit in Paris, you know, when he first came out, my friend was Regine. Did you ever hear of Regine? No. She started all this discotech stuff. And when I knew her, she was a hat check girl at this great restaurant. She started everything that you see today in discotech started with this woman Regine. She had the place in Paris. She opened in New York. Everyone copied this woman. And when she first started, and I would meet with her, I said, You gotta put Barry White. And the people went nuts for him. This is back in the 60s. Barry White was absolutely the most unique vibed disco R B master at that stuff. And uh proves, as we were saying before, that music gets to the ladies because he was a big ladies man and he was a b he was just a big man. You could be playing in a bar. You could be a church fucking organist. You know, you barbershop quartet, fat guys. I'm telling you, as long as it's music, you're gonna get some pussy. It's amazing. I I can't argue with you that I found listen, when I got to Paris, well you know, when I first met the Beatles, right? And I kind of got there on a pivot ricochet because I was living with two twins from Germany called the Kessler twins. Now the Kessler twins were six feet tall, and believe it or not, I might have been two inches shorter because I started so young. Okay. Well, this is a very rock star thing, if you wanted to use it for the answer to that question. Right. So now I see them at Moulin Rouge, these two chicks, these two women. And uh I hit it off. Right? And I'm living with them. I was like a human pretzel. Between the two of them, I had never in my life. You know, you learn from experience. These two women became my best buddies and everything else. And one yeah. And then then one night I needed to come up for air. So I said, I gotta go see these guys. My friend is opening at the Olympia Theater in Paris and there's some act on there. Anyway, I go and I my friend is on and then the announcers, s'il vous plaît maintenant . These guys walk on and I see the Beatles for the first time. Now as a musician. And somebody was totally in the music. Before they hit? Oh yeah. This is like they were just fringing. They hadn't written, was it Love Me Do? That was the first one. So I can't believe what I'm looking at. I never say anything like it. We hit off. They come to my show. I buddy up with them in England. Now it's starting to percolate. And that's when I tipped off Normie Weiss, my agent in New York. So you gotta go see these guys. He said, What do you mean beetles? What are you crazy beetles? I said, Nor me, you know, because when you looked at an American band, it was ants and animals and bulls you know, I mean English bands. We were supremes and royals, but the English they were all his shit names, right? So he said, Were you crazy? I said, Normie, they're unbelievable. I'm so excited. Anyway, they went over and signed the Beatles with Epstein and brought them over in what, sixty-four? And then they already had Beatle Mania had already been before that. Oh yeah, English. And I knew them before that. And then it was yeah. Amazing. Wow. And when you follow the career of those two writers and the impact of McCartney , different than Lennon, it's you lose in all of that translation how important a guy like George Martin was. He's an unsung hero in there. I don't think he's that unsung. Well, to some people. To the layman. Well, some people. I mean, you're not saying most people. Don't get me started on some people because Yeah, no to most people, other than industry. I think if you know the name, uh you know what he did. And if you don't know the name, then you're just a casual many especially younger people. You can't expect people who are born in nineteen ninety-eight or something to like know everything about the beard like we do. But if you know the name George Martin, I think people know he was like Quincy Jones.. Exactly Yeah, it is. But the point I was making that I never lost sight of. We're just the cherry on the cake. You know, artists get so full of themselves. The team effort in most cases it's put a round them. When you see Quincy's contribution, Martin, there's always a producer engineer that's sitting there helping you, dump . Well and these artists they take all the credit for it and they're not Well, that's one reason why rock swings is such a great record, because it it's a great primer in the idea that uh songs are written and then how they become the record , it could have gone in a million different directions. It was all about certain choices. So you but as the fan, you don't think that you just hear the record and you go, oh great, here she come down, mony moany . Of course that's how it sounds. But they could have done it with an organ and that, you know what I mean? They could have started with the chorus. These are all choices. So like some of those uh choices you made, f I I mean, I don't know if those are your favorite rock songs or whatever. But I mean it's just genius because like I never was a great big fan of jump. Right. It sounds like it should be done this way for from from the jump. Right. Uh same thing with Eye of the Tiger. Was never like a great big fan of the original. It was okay , but it was very sort of not. It sounded it sounded like a movie song, yeah. Yeah, which it was. I understand that, but I'm just saying it did not rise above as some movies movie song. It wasn't Moon River. Okay . But uh But Bill, you know what it was? It could ended my career, I think. You know, people were telling me, Were you crazy? Pat Boone tried it. He g I said and it was after the Booblay, you know, I helped with the Booblay first album and he it was a swing album. And the record company said, Why don't you do a swing album? I said I've swinging all my life. I don't want to just do a swing album. I said, but I've got an idea. I want to take some of the rock songs that I hear. You know, as a musician, you hear songs that can be done in different ways. Every song put in a different vibe, and all I did was go through 150 songs that I liked. And I said, How would I do this? And I sat with the arrangers and I said, Let's try this vibe. Let's try this vibe. We l I tried one of you two. Didn't work. I got a lot of stuff I threw out. But the ones that that demanded were authentic It's awesome. I mean smells like teen spirit. Oh that was the challenge. I left that. When I listened to that record, the first thing that came into my mind was, wow, this is so awesome. But if you missed, you'd be Bill Murray . You know what I mean? Doing that character in the in the lounge. If you miss by this much and you didn't. Yeah, you're dead. You didn't. Yeah, Wonder Wall was another one I love doing. Wonder Wall. Wonder Wall, right. I don't remember that was that Oasis. Gonna be the one who's changing. Yeah, Oasis, yeah, sure. Yeah. After all , you're my Wonder Wall. No, I didn't love that in the original and even you couldn't revive it. I didn't I it was a challenge. It's a song. You have to love the song. Yeah I I liked it. Usually your taste in what you like as a song is my taste. Yeah, okay. But that one, Oasis, hey, I never got into Oasis. Yeah, well I wasn't a big fan of Oasis, but I liked that song a lot. Um that got my attention. You did an R.E.M song? Yes Everybody Is everybody heard? I love that song. Me too. Really a cool song. And it really worked with the brass band. Yeah. Are you ever gonna like that? Yeah. I'm so sorry. That's the problem. I'm watching you waiting for me to suck on one interval. I don't know what it is that makes me forget things. I keep trying to I guess I'll let it for you. But yeah, I mean you sound on those songs like I mean it to me it sounds exactly like the Count Basie band. Yeah. From yeah. We went into Capitol and we said Count Basie swing. We used old microphones, the cynic. Oh, is that right? Oh we went into Capitol, we approached it like it was being cut years ago. Yeah. Absolutely. I want to be as authentic a as possible and have it appeal to the critics . To the critics first . You know, now you put up music, it's a different business today, Bill. Ain't like it used to be, you know. Did the critics get it? Oh, we had brave reviews. We went gold in a lot of countries, sure. Yeah. I'm sure. What year was that, like 15 years ago or something? Oh five ? Oh five? Yeah. Oh. I just finished the Bouble album. And uh yeah, it was 05. I went right in and caught it, yeah . It's amazing. Yeah. I mean Here we are today. What? In this wacky different world and different business , AI. It's reproducing everything, music, whatever you want. And I'm not afraid of it. I'm for a lot of it. I well I understand the what the back end could be, but I I'm not afraid of it in general, not just of it if it if they send off nuclear weapons. You know, I mean that there it it's very dangerous. Yeah. It's uh I'm sure it'll do great things. Yeah. But it's to be managed. Well it's not being. That's the that's the scary thing, is because it's about a profit. Yeah. And when a human being smells a dollar, they tend to go for it. That's why capitalism works, because it harnesses that motivation. But it is true, when it goes wrong, it goes very wrong. And, you know, people you know, money makes people do horrible things. Well it's all about the money. Always has been. But you know, I think that when it evolves to a certain level with it and they can get their arms around it, if they do, I think it's going to be a different and better place because there are jobs that you're forgetting. I don't think a robot can do plumbing. I think people like that. Absolutely could. They will emerge No. I think I think plumbers and tradespeople for a long time we' havell an incredible income flow, I think, between government and corporate who run the world. They'll sit down and take care of the majority of the people. They give them a three day work week. They'll find a formula like they always have historically where there's a balance. Now, in that balance will we be number one in this corridor of Canada that South America? I don't know. You know, you got China and Russia, there's a lot of moving parts out there that this whole scenario can change, but you'll never replace what this country represents in terms of a democracy. I think this is why you look so good at your age, because you're basically optimistic. Because I don't think I don't see it at all the same way. I don't know. I totally think a robot will be doing plumbing on your house. Not for a while. I think they'll construct it, but I don't think they'll have a car. They drive car . I know, I know. So you think you think plumbing plumbing is more of last on the list. I don't think a goddamn robot's gonna dig it up and go up in the ceiling and say, hey H,ank, what's the measurement on the two ? I think that's exactly what they'll do. We'll talk in two years. How's that? Let's have a bet. You got it. How much you want to bet? I'll give you a goal record, and you're gonna give me that sign over there with the Beatles. I will bet you Gen Trump coins. Wait a minute. He's got his no he's got a I want some value. Oh boy. Next couple of weeks are gonna be interesting, pal. What do you mean? Well you mentioned our president. Yeah, about what? Well I just think we have to calm down. I think we've got to get an off ramp here, and I think there has to be some changes because you're dealing with a hundred million people that are very stubborn and smart and et cetera, et cetera. I'm you know, I think uh th this ain't an easy one, pal. It's not an easy one, but all great endeavors, uh and it could turn out to be a great endeavor because if they do get rid of that horrible it's a fascist theocracy, like the worst of all worlds as a government. For years. Okay. And fucked up the Middle East constantly. Just the biggest troublemakers. It t turned out it wasn't the Arabs. It's you know what it's like in The Godfather with the Arabs and the Persians. Tartagli is a pimp. It's Barzini all along. Yeah. It was always Iran. Absolutely. So like it it brings it's fine with me uh if this is where it stays as far as damage done. Nothing I can't I think it's unrealistic to ever expect anything, any great endeavor not to cost lives. Theil Civ War was a great endeavor and it cost 600,000 lives. Sure. At a time when that was a hefty percentage of the population. And the French in Asia, millions. Yeah. I'm not saying this is on that level, but I'm saying it's if it could transform the Middle East, which has been one of our biggest problems in my entire life. Mine too. Yes. And and recognize that Israel is our most natural ally, not just in the Middle East, in the whole world, quite frankly. Correct. Um I it it could be a great thing. It may not it may be turn out to be a bad thing. And I just hope that um I can count on Donald Trump to be the abandon er that he always has been. I just think the reason the stock market hasn't completely tanked is because they know, you know, at the end of the day, this motherfucker will abandon you in a heartbeat and get out. And whatever, you know, he got out of that one when you know, he just owed the banks too much. It was one of those too big. So I just think at the end of the day, he's not he's not the kind of guy who's gonna get boggy down. But I could be wrong. I mean, uh I could be wrong because they're flirting with it. Yeah, well you know the you gotta think of the two guys right now, especially the Wynn Hotel. They've got a five billion dollar investment outside Dubai that all of a sudden they're going, what ? They're putting up a five billion dollar casino in the middle of all that. Yes. And you know I go I go to Israel a lot. I I I love singing in Israel and they're su such great fans. I'll never forget a conversation I had with people that were close to government and I'd met you know. And we got on the topic of the nuclear. And they said something really interesting . He said , we don't think there's ever going to be a nuclear bomb dropped here for one simple reason. It led me to believe that they're all talking to each other. You know, as smart as everybody is we think we may be, or you're at dinner, there's a backroom story going on all the time. You're like a fucking idiot. Especially in that part of the world. Absolutely. And you know what they said ? The wind blows from west to east . And if we drop everything over here, it's like Burbank and Beverly. They've already caught Muhammad, don't be schmuck fucking idli. Don't drop the fucking bomb. You're gonna wipe out Russia, China. They know the collateral effect. They all know it. But uh exactly. The problem is and this is the the part of it that people get squeamish about because it's very politically incorrect these days. But the p the truth of it is that you're talking on the assumption that we always had with nuclear weapons that it is a deterrent that we're all going to die . But if you fervently believe in martyrdom , as is in the doctrine of fundamental Islam, which is more popular than fundamental Christianity. We have crazy in both religions, but they have much more fundamentalis m. If you really think that the way to paradise is through this kind of martyrdom , then that is not a factor. Then that is not something that no, I think when people get hold of power like the Ayatollah, they don't really want to die. Yeah. They don't. They don't. The the people . They're not a not shy about putting them as cannon fire and human shields. Absolutely. Nobody escapes that though. I mean they better be out of town when that hits. Which Israel would never do. And if you don't understand that sort of moral geometry, then that's where why there's so much anti-Semitism now. Yeah. I think that's a good Up all that bullshit. But you know, when you go back to the effect when we dropped those two bombs on Japan, it was over. Yeah. Those guys had meetings. There was no way, there was no comeback out of it. And you know, when Oppenheimer and all this could put that down No Truman. Oh, Truman, I'm sorry, that's right. It goes back to um didn't the Japanese didn't they it w did wasn't it Roosevelt that they handed the uh they came in and said that there was gonna be a declaration of war and they were late? Do you remember they failed that and then Truman came in ? Well I think Truman came in after, didn't he? F yeah, FDR die uh gets reelected in November of nineteen forty-four. Right. Dies I think in February. So like a month after he was inaugurated for his fourth term. Right, and Pearl Harbor came there. Well Pearl Harbor was nineteen forty one. Right. So he was in office. Oh yeah totally. Well that's my point. He died in early forty five. So it's Truman who inherited the end of World War Two. Exactly. But you know what's amazing today I'm getting the kick of it 'cause I've been going to Japan since fifty seven. When I went there were still bombs in the ground and I was going to these hospitals with all these people with no arms, no legs, and I've been going back ever since. Oh I love that culture. And of when you look at that region, when you think about the end of the war, when they started divvying everything up, they have been so true to their people in keeping that country together. But point being, it's no longer let's go to Kabul and Dubai. Everyone wants to go now to Japan. That's the hot new place . They want to take their kids. People are rushing to Japan . Yeah, I just saw somebody on social media. I can't remember who it was, like some big yeah. You're right. Well, you know, it's cherry b lossom season. Yeah. But they go all year round. You can't get a hotel. Right, but that's a good excuse for like the the you know, the there's always a crowd who thinks, you know there's there's people who like And yet it's always somewhere else around the world. Literally they call them the jet set. That's right. People who just jet from one cool place influencers. I mean, you know The masses are now involved. They're going. The masses save up and they make those kind of trips. They save up and go broke the rest of the masses. Yeah. Get those bring my piss boy. I and my scribe, I have knew something about the masses. I don't think that's cricket that they're impinging on our privileges. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lord Anchor? Yes, sir . Prin Prince Bill What was what's your favorite country that you were Oh tough, tough. Bill, listen, I spent a lot of time in Paris. You like Israel. I love performing in Israel. Uh that's performance works. I hated Paris. I w I'm Well, I've been going, I speak the language. I've been going there since nineteen fifty eight. Well, I learned it with the two twins in bed, the Kessler girls. Right. You know, you hang with a couple of chicks over there for a year, you're gonna speak French. I mean, I think we're ali alike maybe in that way, but like with sex. I can live without sex I just can't live without good sex. It should always be like you just got out of prison. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? Sometimes it's like breaking back into prison . When they're wrong, I walk back and press it, right? I'm not waking up in the morning with a four. When the night before was it at twelve. But Bill, you know what it is? I learned later in life that when they say to you, I love you , you know what it really is? I love you for now because everyone's got an agenda. I hate to sound like that, but you gotta be totally on top of everything to understand the reality of shit that you get into and then you bear the consequences if so because it's scary. That is the title of my autobiography, Should You Get Into I don't know. It's perfect Life I feel is Um and I try to tell this to young people, you know, I like to be a mentor. Yeah, of course. Um it's it is somewhat about what you get, that's true, and and I just I don't mean just mean money, but uh you know, achievements and but it's also happ iness a lot about what you avoid. Yeah. Just what you avoid. You know, drugs. A drug habit, gambling, a feud, drinking, debt. Right. Just like beefs that are unnecess ary. You know. But you gotta be real clever to you know the mob guys used to say to me if you're if you're s if you become a gambler and you've got the wrong women in your life and you do drugs, you'll never be a success. There's the W And these guys they had the great and these weren't great looking guys. These were like tough guys who dressed in shirts and ties and they're run at casino and they're like I never saw a group of guys like that unilaterally in my life. And the way they ran their life and the code and all that.ar Lened a lot from them. But they had more women. A couple of them at the Sands, they had the greatest women. Were carried out in a stretcher. They died fucking. The women are screaming. I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. Of course it is. But I'm just giving you the full menu of what it was when you say hey has to be great. Wow. This episode is brought to you by Expedia and Visit Scotland. Start your story in Scotland. Experience the pool of wide, untamed landscapes and fresh cuisine that feels rooted in place. Discover castles steeped in legend. And feel the genuine warmth from locals you meet in a place that will stay with you long after you leave. Start planning your own Scottish holiday today at expedia.co.uk slash visit scotland. Inspireerd bij jet engine silences de Dyson Huschjet purifier powerfully purifier de entier room kwijtly capturing pollen, allergens and pet danda , removing odors and harmful gases such as NO2 day and night . Oh it was wild when we heard those stories . Oh Yeah I always think when I'm you know, romantic singers like you, you know, that get the pus the panties wet during the concert. Yeah. You know Well now I get support stockings, so there's no wonder we're coming up. And there's about three walkers in the lobby. So like you'd have to figure people play the records of, you know, romantic singers while they're fucking yeah of course. Right. So I mean you must have been played many times, you know In many ways . Sadly admit. During De Niro plays Godfather That's for those guys, don't cut it. Chances are Exactly. Great artist, great stylist, ye.ah Johnny Johnny Mathis. Good guy. You know, stay true to what he did. I really Oh. Yeah, he just retired. So what was I saying there? Back to something we haven't touched on in twenty seconds since I've met you. Anyway, it was an important question. Oh I know. Yeah, go ahead. I know. Uh so yes, so people listen to you and for friends andatra. Go ahead. And then other romantic uh people. Who does the person who does that person listen to? Who does uh who does Frank Sinatra listen to when he's fucking? Who does Paul Enka listen to? Interesting. Well so you can't listen to yourself. Or maybe you can. It's like Maybe it's better. I never listen to myself. Ever. So while you were fucking, you never Oh my God. Some chick must have asked for it. I think it'll bend in the middle. I think there's not a chance I would listen to myself. So no woman in all those years of all this this ocean of of ficers. Am I gonna I'm gonna accommodate them with something substantial. I'm gonna play what I'm sick of hearing? No, no, no. Well I I've got a wall. He will. Nobody likes Puppy love. I be called it puppy. Nobody likes to be fucking you and hearing deep cuts. Okay . They want to hear that Well I'm gonna hit you with the bat between my legs. That's it. There's no way too much to ask. No, no, no. I sit at a piano beforehand. Well you have a a repertoire that Yeah, you're not unique , but it is a one of a big to me level of people who you go to their concert, it's all hits. For the most part, yeah. Yeah, except what they want to you know, but but they can.. You could Yeah, sure. Eagles can do it. I mean obviously McCartney, but Billy Joel, but you know, uh Streisend if she chooses to sing. But you know, it's not a lot of people on that list who can do the whole concert. Yeah. And it's hit Elton John. Well, all the actors. It's a lot of people. Yeah, it's a lot of people. But it's it's a lot when you think about the ratio, because all this the older acts, the vintage acts, they're the ones selling out. And there's a couple on the younger younger level, you know. Uh Madonna, she can do it. Yeah, well she's in her sixties. No, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. Sixties quite . Oh my god. I see her in the paper. She looks twenty seven. I I she had work she must have had I mean I never thought Madonna would be that person who went in for that I thought she'd be like, yeah, this is what I look like at sixty-five. What are you gonna do about it, bitch? Not her. Not but No baby. Listen, the United States, what we've introduced to the world, and I've traveled it, is the visual and the aesthetic and the sexuality of how we look and what we present. You go to these other countries, they didn't do that years ago. We started all that. Really? How oh God, yes, how you look , the aesthetic of your face and your body and the other. Other countries didn't care about it? Well, when I go to Israel early in time, they'd say, What are you people sending us all this sex stuff and all these stuff? All these countries would bitch at me. No, you go to Japan. When I saw this film um with the ping pong player, the kid uh and I saw the scene with the Japanese at the end. Yeah. And they were in that time period. And they're standing up and freaking out. Right. So one part of the film, and it was a great film, they did a good job. Then I said, wait a minute. They didn't do that for years. You didn't see that enthusiasm or sexual or aesthetic in Japan all the years I went there from 57 on? No way. There are there are an amazing The way they educate their people, the way they're the way they look at life, all of that stuff. And sex was like, no way. This isn't like France and Italy. You know, you go to France, the the wife is the other woman. You know, it's a whole different culture, always has been. And they weren't sex ually like the other countries, like when I went to Brazil. I mean, my back you'd think a tiger run its claw the maniacs. I mean if anyone wants to go to the most swing in this country go, to Brazil. Okay, but even I, who is am not a world traveler, could have guessed both those things. I wouldn't get Japan versus Brazil. Oh, okay. I mean Brazil is a country of 190 million people, all with a great S. And that's just the same. Yes. Oh yeah, that's true. Okay. But Japan, you know, I think it traumatized from the war. And also a lot of ancient culture, Shinto or whatever the Buddhist whatever culture, religion I,'m I should know better, but it's a mixture, I think. I don't know, but very religious because before the war was over, they had an emperor who was a god. In fact, one of the stipulations of the surrender was to keep him there. Yeah. He had to go on the radio and tell the people that he wasn't God. Correct. Well the well the advisors around him, when they sat down and made the decision that we're gonna end the war, they said you need to end this because your position and what you represent to our people will be gone. Dissipated. That was part of the the decision making. Yeah. Than anything Israel has ever done. Yeah. Israel has ever done anything like that. Nobody's gonna be like, when you wipe out wipe out sixty to ninety percent . Anyway. Yeah, sure. We won't get up. You owe me a trip to Japan and we'll go to Brazil together. We'll see how you feel. I'll take you to Japan first. My days of traveling overseas are over. How about Japan? Even in the country I don't really travel anymore. Oh yeah. Yeah I a lot. I choice I go to certain co untries and that's it for me. But I agree with you. I won't go to a wedding. Somebody's getting married in some stupid place over a record. But you must go to Japan though. It's a 10 hour flight. You have your own bedroom and you will see a culture and you'll come back so impressed. I'll take you. I'll buy you the ticket. Paul? What? Come on, Bill . Bill. I'm 70. I know what I like.. I'm eighty-four I know. You don't know what you like yet, I do. You have to know what you like. Your mind can be swayed, I promise. You gotta g ive you gotta give me that much. But seventy, if you don't know what you like by then, wow. Oh, just no question. You have not had your eyes open. I'm just on a good traveler. You never well, that's a whole other issue. Yeah, well that's my issue. I got it. But in life you never know. A little curiosity. I do know. A little trying, you would be amazed. I've tried. I've been on the road my whole life. I always love it when people argue with you about you. Oh right. I I''mm de debatbatinging.. You know that's what bugs me when people say, you're gonna love this song. Like, okay, there's no way you could possibly know that I'm gonna love this song. It it's like it either hits you or it doesn't. Yeah. There's a that's why record reviews are so stupid. Like I uh you can't put it in words. I have to hear it. You know, so they basically review the lyrics, which nine out of ten times, I don't care. Yeah. If the lyrics aren't great and the song is great, I love it. The lyrics are an extra. Love your lyrics. Yeah. Very moving. Yeah. Never corny. Yeah. Lyrics today are important. You're old but you're never corny. That's good. But single , you know, I I 'm sure many checks. When you say single, you say you're you're single. I I understand I'm single, but why single? I'm just not married. Well I'm not involved. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Singles. Do I know? Did you even go look what I'm talking about? I just love it. I love the peace of mind. I do. I love it. Well you you know what I'm saying. I'm not single. Oh single in this chair. beyond that. No, uh single just you know what I mean. Fighting for a remote Well I wanna watch that. The journey we've all been on you know what song I love the one you did with s um Gloria Este fan I think uh where in that scene. Look what a pool I've been. Yeah. I I love songs like that 'cause they're like adult songs. I think I'm in love again. Because let's be honest, I mean the music industry is mostly for the very young and it should be. Today. Always has been. Always should be. It's a rock and roll is a young thing. That's right. Right. But you know we keep living. Okay. And then the music isn't really made for us. Right. So you know, us fans have a a special appreciation for people who keep making music that tickles our ears, you know. Without selling out or just being an oldies actor, you know, doing interesting good music. And again, the the lyrics that I can relate to, you know, I think I'm in love again. Yes, you know, you get to a certain age. You've liter you've legitimately been in love more than once. That's right. And you could say that there's an inflation in that that isn't healthy. I don't agree, but I know that argument, like, well, if you thought you were completely in love once and it didn't work, everybody else is gonna be like sort of, yeah, this could fail too. Yeah. Well think of the other side. How'd you like to be laying in bed with someone for a few years wishing you were single. How would you like to be laying with someone? I would rather be single than laying in a bed with something wishing it were something. You know miserable? I c I could not agree more. I just I just a bell went off I don't wanna be miserable laying to somebody I don't wanna be a member . And you know and who cares, it's just my little personal thing and I'm not trying to tell the world how to live with it, but I just don't see a way out of it 'cause it only gets worse. Every wife who is a friend of mine who's mar you know, of course she's married she's a wife. Like I guess I know her through whatever. Maybe I know her, maybe I know the husband has said to me at some point when I was asking about a marriage, if it's somebody who you can, you know, be honest with, and I have lots of friends like that, uh, some version of, you know, we have great times, but then there are some times I wake up and look over and go, Who is that ? Yeah. Like who who is this person ? I don't even know this person really. And and they're in my bed and I don't particularly like them.. Yeah That's a terrible way to start the day. Would you ever go to the go to dinner cocktail go out and you see a husband and wife or a couple and you see the look on a woman's face sometime looking at the guy she's with. Do you know she's saying herself? This is not my first choice . I promise you, this is not my first fucking choice. And you can just see it. Uh-uh. I don't want to be one of those. This is not my first choice. I see it as a song title . This is not my first choice. If my heart had a voice. So Richard Belzer, you know Richard Belzer? Of course. Okay, he used to kill me. He he had a bit. You know, he would he would never wrote a thing down, only it got stoned when on stage. Yeah. And one of his things he would just go into was, hey, why don't singers give you this move? Everything 's gonna be okay as soon as I get my next fan. That's an outrage he's done it all that shit. What the same with the same with rock bands. Why do they break guitars and they jump up and down like they're on the scene you do it? It's in the cool movie. It's like when the gangster holds the gun like that. Any asshole can shoot you like that. But if you do that, it's a It's like the football players. They all have certain moves that'll replicate, you know. No, you sing with such joy uh the jump and um I might put that back on the show. And I the title what? Now that you mention I may put jump in. Oh you should. And it's my life. Yeah, no, I'm gonna put it back on the new gig. It's great. You have the whole of course the that band with you? Yeah, and I'm I might do it on the California tour. That band is so spot on. Yeah. I mean they to sound exactly like the bassie band on the you know, my favorite sinatra s the of the happy period. It is it might as well be it might as well be swing. That's Frank in a great mood. I don't know what happened that day, but you know, it was a lot of uh more than the greatest love of the world. No, I gotta hip you to one. My guy was Don Costa. He was responsible for my success. He found me at fifteen. He's a ranger. Yeah, a ranger producer. I introduced him to Sinatra in the 60s. Have you heard the Sinatra album Sinatra and Strings ? Probably. You mu you want to fucking bed, and you want to really get turned on to that mood of Frank. That's one of the best albums he's ever done. Sinatra and str ings, and the best live album he ever made was at the Sands. The best live album anyone has made I have technically. I have is uh something from the live at the Sands album. And man, you oh the lady is a tramp. And the energy that you feel in the c rowd. I think this is when they were making Oceans 11. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But it could have been any of those years. No, no, it was back then. Okay. Back then, I don't know if it was exactly then, but you feel this ener like, you know, when he comes out, you you hear it. It just but you could tell it's when he arrives, and then like all through the song, the crowd is like buzzing. Yeah. It's uh yeah, the the those guys in that era, man, if you could go back in time and be anybody anywhere that's and Nothing like it. Back then it was magical . You walked in that room of eight hundred people, you knew what it was gonna be. Everyone was dressed. Yeah. You'd oh shirt and tie, you couldn't get in a place in a T shirt. Everyone was in a shirt and tie. Even when we started as kids. When you look at American Bandstand, every kid would go in with a shirt and tie and a jacket. God, I'm not the culture. Now you're lucky you can get a guy to patch up a pair of jeans So but back then, Bill, but when you walked in that 800 seater and bassie band, and you knew what you were getting, and that music started, it was magic. It was magic. I've I've listened I cherished those days, and I would have given back the money. It was just something. What what I learned from that. Well, some of those songs really are so much better uh done that way. The two I mentioned. You also did one, I don't think it's on there, but it's Time After Time Time after time. I think it's a little Cindy Lauper. Oh, that's on my second swing album. That's correct. That's correct. It's the first track. That's it. Wow. That's a very bassy sound. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a great song. I mean her her version is great. No disrespect for her version. I love it. Yeah. But it it is it's f it fits very naturally in that swing th Aaron Powell But as I said earlier, you can take a large percentage of music and you can change it and put it in a vibe if it's well constructed. It's not any Herculean effort. But if you're a musician and you hear it, you can take a well structured uh structured song from here, whether it's country or whatever. Country. Swing. You should do country. Country swings. Have you ever thought of that? Yeah? Really? You know what I was talking to about was Michael Buble. Because country Because he just did it one. Country music is not my father's country music. Right. It was when I was a kid I hated it. It was twangy and corny and Hank Williams. It was it was fucking hee-haw. Yeah. It was a pickin' and a grinite and it was like uh let's just say ambivalent about racism right let's just say proud of their character. Proud of their character. That's all they could do . And they can't do what I mean and they don't know anything. Look Elvis who I love. Oh man, I loved Elvis. He has a version, I'm no I'm sure you know it did it in concert for years, of uh Glory, glory, hallelujah combined with Dixie. Oh showstopper. Oh absolutely. I saw my mix, you know. Yeah. Wish I was in the land of cotton. Yes, because you weren't picking it. That's correct. But he was there. He was around all that culture. Well he was born in Tupelum, Mississippi in nineteen thirty five. I mean that's Jim Crow South. Mm-hmm. So he was at all the black clubs. Little Richard was his buddy. You knew that, right ? I w I well I know they were rivals. No, Bill, they were buddies. Little Richard taught him a lot of shit. He was around Little Richard. But the all that whole black music scene. Well and Yeah. But there was come on, there had to be a lot of resentment becausecause these great black artists, like Chuck Berry and Little Richard, Elvis became the star. Not that Elvis wasn't magnificent. I mean, I'm the biggest Elvis fan there is. Yeah. But, you know, it was like, oh, the white guy takes the sound or has the sound, you know, and he d and he wasn't doing it on purpose. It just was all the influences that were through him. But you know, a lot of people in fact in the in the George Jacobs book, he says Frank Sinatra hated Elvis. He hated pop music. All of it. Yeah. He Elvis was just one. No, no, you should have heard him sometime when you're at dinner. Elvis, yes, but I mean I could give you a list. No, no, he didn't like any of that stuff. His quote was, Frank's quote on Elvis was, and I can't repeat it completely, but he said, if I wanted to hear uh Right, I gotta I listened. I listened to the real one. Right around God. And yet they wound up at the Fountain Blue De Hotel on the first special. When he came out of the army. He sang with Frank on television. Yeah, and uh Stalin made a pact with not with Hitler in 1939 and two years later, Hitler attacked Stalin. I get you. You try your best. But going back to what you said, it was not only Elvis, the black artists, and if you look way back in our history, they dictated it was always the black music that dictated in every 10 year period, whatever. That was the influence. They dictated the music into the culture. Right. Even in the 50s with Elvis Bill , they a lot of artists white ified it. They were a clergyman's cancer and they were ripping them off left and right. But we were I loved I was that's all I was listening to. My buddy was was Fats Domino. I met him and Chuck Berry when they came to my town in Ottawa. I broke in through a back door 'cause I was had some songs and I broke into a dressing room and uh I ran into Chuck Berry in his dressing room and I went in and had this new white jacket that I wanted them to sign. I I was a big fan of all that stuff. And he peed on it? Not no, no, no. I ran before I pull it out. I knew sure. I'm sure he could have thrown it at me giving a conduction. I'd give you a Chuck Perry story. But I I walked in though and he didn't put his guitar away. He said, Hey, Mr. Ram, I'm a I'm a fan. And you know, I s I sing blah blah blah blah and he's looking at me. I start singing Diana to him. That's before I recorded it. Wow. I'm so young, and you know so blah blah and he looked at me, he says, Go back to school, kid. It's terrible. And it's in his book. The year later, I was working with him at the New York Prime. I said, Mr. Barry, here I am again. And what did he say? Yeah, Paul, you do it. But he was listen. Well, did he own his bad predictions? Oh yeah, yeah. He was he was a cool guy. He was cool. He was cool . He was on tour with us and we would travel, this wonderful family that became my partners, the Feld family. They owned drugstores out of Washington. They would book fifteen of us. If you remember those caravan of stars. Yeah, sure. We'd all do two songs. We'd travel throughout the country. When Chuck was with us, if we were leaving the state of New York and we had to go over into uh Illinois or go south down into Tennessee or what have you. We would have to fly him from New York over to three more states further because the police were after him. He was knocking up chicks left and right. And he did the whole tour like that. They finally arrested him in Canada . Oh, he was uh he was a stick holder, this guy. Well boy. He's a stud if you held a snake he'd be fucking it. I'm telling you. God bless him, he was it. I'm not saying he had perfect morals, but wow. What a what a baller. I mean just d balls. Well you know who was like that as a black man who in an era when they just you know white people didn't act as bad and get away with it just because of sheer guts and I'm gonna be there was the boxer. Totally. You know, at like 1910. Yeah. And or 20, whatever. But like openly going out with white women, things you just in many places would get you immediately But you talk about balls, Bill. We live today, right now, in this modern society where all men in this country have balls, but very few know how to use them. It's terrible what I see. It's sad. Do you know that I'm getting the Mark Twain Award? Yeah, I read that. It's Trump showing up. See, I'm using my balls. Hey, that's what they give it to you for. What you went through the last couple, you were the only one with balls. There you go. You took a whole fucking bevy of stuff and I must commend you for that. You know that. And look how right you turned out. With everything I'm always right, Paul. It gets boring. Uh you know why you and I will always get along? Because you're right too. No. Because you're very, very smart and I'm always right. Well, I uh I so appreciate you being so um open and candid and you know, it's so hard to get a guest to completely be like, you know what, I'm playing with the house money. You can't fuck with me on anything. I'm a and that's you, you know, like you talk about your your romances and you d you don't couch it. I've had so many pussies who are like, they know their wife is watching. So if you ask him about the old days, he's like, you know, let's get off that subject. No, it's your life. Not realistic. That's another great one on there. It's my life. It's my life. The uh no Bon Jovi. That's it No no. That's uh that's no doubt. Wait a minute. It's my life. No , isn't that Bon Jovi? No. It's n I I I think well, I don't know. It's my life. Now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. Ain't gonna live when I'm alive, Bon Jovi . You think? Yeah, what do you which one were you thinking? No, I think that's in? It's my life. It's my that's Bon Jovi, baby. I can promise you it's Bon Jovi. You wanna tack it onto the other bed? I will bet you twenty gold. Okay. Truck gold. I want you to shake on that. Right now. Look at the coins. You're gonna fucking pay up. Bon Jovi, it's my life. What do you think of that? I I think I'm gonna win this bet. Okay. I do. I think I'm gonna win this bet. I I I absolutely do. It's my life, I think is no doubt. I think that is Gwen Stefani. I think Gwen Stefani It's my life now or never ain't gonna live until you're and then there's you go into a lyric of Frank you Frank said it, my Frank does it said he did it my way. Which is a great That's their line. I didn't write that. Oh really? They put it to the original lyric, Bon Jovi. You mean Gwen Stefani? Yeah, well her her sister who's related to Bon Jovi, who plagiarized. Well, one of us is gonna look like a stoned idiot. I'm walking out of here with some major money, baby. Really? Absolutely bungee. Well we'll see. We're gonna know because I know you got a very hip cool girlfriend, and she probably knows all about that. She's gonna tell us when we see her. She never She never w whatants ne tover be the budget No? I can almost promise Really? Yes. She would definitely I love her dearly, but she would definitely be the last person you'd want to arbitrate this. But I bet she knows Bon Jovi. I wouldn't be surprised if she thought it was how Italians say good morning. You just can't expect it. You can't expect people to know things before they know them. I always say, I'm gonna write a book someday called Um Gazpacho Soup is cold. Because I remember when I did not know this and made a bit of a fool of myself in a restaurant. Right. And the point And it was a Chinese restaurant. Point is you're not born knowing that . There's a moment, everything you know, you learned at a single moment. Correct. You just didn't memorialize it. But every s so like at some momento moment she will hear about Bonjo . But but I don't think that moment has arrived. And why should it? It's not one of the more important things. But you never know. Some people some people have done homework and I gotta ask you this. So I mean Michael Jackson, uh amazing s singer, amazing dancer, songwriter, unconventional babysitter , we would acknowledge. No comment . And you the weirdest thing about him to me, after even all everything else weird, is he didn't release the song you wrote with him, the w uh This is it. No, no, the other one. Love Never Felt So Good. Love Never Felt So Good. Which I was like m maybe my favorite Michael Jackson song of all time. Right. And I was like, why why didn't they release that when they cut it? Why why did I have to wait till after he died? I mean, why why put that one in the vault. So let me give you the background. I think you do know. We started that project in the 80s. I was doing a duets album for Sony. Major artist, Michael McDonald . Oh I know. And Michael wanted to be on the album. And we started in my studio in Carmel. Huh. And I laid down these three songs that ultimately came out and he was living in my guest studio. You wrote them. With him, yeah. With him. Oh yeah. Well that's what I know, the process. Yeah. So we sit in a room and I give him some different chords because he's not not a musician, and a lot of them are today. They work off computers. But so it was a a true collaboration. Absolute collaboration. McCartney always said that he and Lennon wrote nose to nose because they would be on the bed little bed in there . Not that Michael had a nose. But if he did. I knew the old nose. But you know but it was I knew the old nose. I go back to him the family season. But was it like that? Like you were it was truly a collaboration. Yeah, yeah. Listen Okay. He's dead. I'm not gonna sit here going, oh I wrote ninety percent. That's bullshit. We sat in a room together, when the juices are flowing, we' colvelaborated it comes out. I don't care about this. Okay. So we're sitting there and we finish these basic tracks, me at the piano, his vocals. Thriller comes out and goes through the roof. And Michael was so absorbed and every minute of the day was about show business, what he could but but he was totally involved, this guy. And I'd sit at dinner and I'd talk and talk he was a sponge . We finished the first stage of these, and I had to go to LA to finish them because I'd finished everybody else. Loggins, McDonald, and Sony wanted the album. He leaves my home, thriller comes out, goes through the roof . Whatever changed him in terms of where he felt his gravitas and who he was, he stole the tapes out of the studio. And I say that affectionately. He took the tapes out of the studio and the studio called and said, Mr. Anchor, Michael Jackson came and took the tapes. I said, What do you mean? They belong to me. Can't they? No, he took them. Who let that happen? The studio, because he was on the box with me. Hello, I'm Michael Jackson. I'm ready with Paul Anka. He went to the studio, Sunset Sound, and they gave him the tapes. No big deal. Michael Jackson walked in and said, Bill, I need this buck and when I sold you the house. So they gave him the tap es . I go to his lawyers. I sit down with them. I'll try to listen. As Mark Twain said, he give me a little more time and make it shorter, but here we are . So I get his lawyers, we get and I say guys, we have a contract, but we go around. Finally he gives me back, there's no litigation, gives me back the tapes, and they sit because I can't finish the project. They sit there. I can't get him. He won't come in the studio . Years later, where he passes, they go into his drawer and they find he copied the tapes. They find them thinking they were his . They now bring in other producers and they start sweetening all those songs, which means they add rhythm sections, violins, everything that you heard. And they called me. They said, you know, you know, thank you for settling this, because when it got into an issue, say just give me 50% of everything. Okay? That's all. I'm not going to hold you up. I'm not going to hold you up. They would call me each time they find the song after this is that, the guy that ran his uh his uh music and all that, um for guys name Malone or nice guy. He said, Oh, I've got this other song that you know we found. He starts playing it over the phone. I said, I wrote that too. He said, What? I said, Don't worry about it. Just do what you want to do. And they conversed and they were very amiable, don't they? But they sweetened that and then released everything the way they saw it. They hadn't found Love Never Felt So Good. They just found a box of tapes . But it wasn't the tape that they returned to you. It wasn't No, he copied. He took out of the studio, copied them. But so you had your own copy I had my own copies and he had his own copies. So you could have put it out? No. Not without his participation. Really? He wouldn't come in and finish. No. He doesn't have a I mean Paul McCartney, I don't think, talks a lot about it because he's a classy guy who doesn't want to talk a lot of shit. But publishing companies. I f feel like there's a lot of bad blood there. And then Michael J ackson was sort of a ruthless shark in business. I mean You know That's it's it's hard for me. I liked him as a talent and working with him. I guess that if you call it ruthless taking the tapes, it's business. Okay? Is it the right business? Maybe not. But he was on top of his business and he ran everything. He was very hands-on and that was it. That was his reputation. But I can't blame a young guy , a kid that's got all those issues in in his life trying to protect his life? You can't blame them. You know, most of these young talent, all of us, you wind up in the wrong hands, like a lot of them. You're in trouble. Because you're coming out last. The record company's making the money, the agents are making the money, the mag the artists don't wind up with all that money until down the road if, if, if, if. Doesn't work that way. Never has worked. Look at today. Writers don't get royalties, all this st reaming. They need a totally new format so that everybody gets paid properly. Because right now the record companies are getting paid. But the artists and the writer, there has to be a whole new menu implicated. I thought nobody was getting paid because of streaming. Record companies get paid. They make the deals. Yeah. I think the streaming companies will make money and and go in use AI and create their own artists and put that up. Watch that, that'd be the next stroke. I do feel not that it's a competition between us, I do feel that your business is more I I've yet to see them really be funny. Like funny w what? Correct. Oh okay. Correct hello. But they can write but they can make a song. Bill, number one country record in the country is AI. Is that right? And there's another one out. No, you think they're gonna be a Bill Maher, they're gonna sit in the room like I know like as a creator, you're up till four in the fucking morning writing and preparing. They don't see what goes on in the background. Right. I'm having up till three in the morning getting arrangements together, doing doing just like I'm sure you do. You're hands on with what you do. No, I'm telling you, you're uh work a f a very full week and I do work very hard, but I feel like you are definitely made of Sterner stuff. And I say that I'm not jealous at all. I don't want to work that hard. I got off I I was toured as a stand-up for 42 years. I stopped last year. I'm glad I stopped. I miss doing it. I miss being on stage. There's nothing like that. A theater of people who bought a ticket to see you. So they you're they're they're pre-fans. They want me to do the thing I do and I want to do it for them. I miss that love . That's very prevalent in your concerts. I know I've seen and I got the report. But you know, I just I don't want to push myself. You know, at 84 I cannot imagine traveling even domestically, let alone, you know, wherever the fuck you're going. A w a world tour where, you know, you don't s speak the language always and like new bathroom and new hotel and always unpacking, and packing and having to like cut open an orange with a can opener because there's no fucking knife in the room. That ain't me, baby. There's a knife in a room and there's everything No, no, no. Always. I mean I don't have a retinue of fifty people kissing my ass. I got a couple and we've got it all blueprinted and I travel easy and I love it. And you should go out and do a few dates, because I've seen you and I've seen all the stuff. It's there's no rush like it, Bill. You can I know. I for an hour and a half I I you've been there. I get it. I get it. I know I know. I know. But never say no. Well, first of all, stand up is i i it's not the kind of thing where you can just suddenly pick it up. It's like playing the cello. Yeah. You have to like stay in practice. You have to have an act. Mileage. You know, I mean I always had th So f for a while I did three jobs. Two's plenty . And travel is not healthy. You know, just travel itself is not that healthy. And uh but some people, you know, you're obviously uh very adoptable. I bet you you sleep well on the road. I sleep well, I sleep. I don't I don't say I gotta get eight hours. I don't. Yeah. I'm up and I'm doing, but I get what I need to protect my throat. And not to feel like shit, right? No, I never feel like shit. I'll never go on a stage feeling like shit. No, no, no. But like if you don't get enough sleep, don't you Oh I'm sleeping. I'm gonna get six hours minimum. So you never feel like shit from lack of sleep? Because I do so on the road? Oh anywhere. Oh anywhere, yeah. Oh no. When I'm not on stage or uh committed there, oh fuck yeah. No, I'm not saying you can't I mean we work look, we're from a generation that we work even when we don't feel good. That's when um they smile when they are low, you know, come on. That's that's not how the kids are today. No, they're weak. I mean weak. I told you, we're raising a bunch of weak entitled kids. Chapel Roan as a hangnail. That sho w has canceled because I mean they c they just don't even give an excuse the some of them or just like it's basically I feel shitty. I don't feel like it tonight. I don't feel like I know you all got babysitters and fucking arrange your life around this for three months. But sorry, you know, I'll do it when I feel better. And the fans put up with it. That's the power of music. That's how powerful music is. The fans do put up with a lot of shit from these brats these days. And and they don't you know cancelling an hour out, tickets fourteen thousand dollars, twelve thousand, where are these where's this money coming from? Daddy and I'm daddy and Mmyum? Yes. Are you kidding look at that on the wall? Four dollars and fifty cents to see the Beatles. It's a ticket to my fair lady was six dollars. For four years. In the year. In nineteen fifty six. How many years was it on? Four years? Six years? Long run. Oh, my fair lady? Yeah. One of the greatest. Forever. Isn't it one of the greatest? I'm in the middle of my Broadway thing, working with a writer now. Oh yeah, you're doing that on real time. What is the tell me about it? Well, I'm working with a very talented guy, Rupert Holmes. He did very talented. Very successful. What was his hit? He did a few things on Broadway. I don't want to misre represent. He uh but the point was I went through a few writers. I finally got a guy that gets it. The point I'm making is that process now of working with him and the selection and the songs. It's not a jukebox show. We gotta find two actors, gotta get the director that gets it. And now we're in that think tank, hopefully to be done in a year and a half. So what is the one liner to sell the show? Like what do what's not even there yet. No, but if somebody said, what's the show about? Right. Sold Yeah. You had me in Canada because I love the Canadians. Oh I love Canada. Those are my pigs. Yeah. And it's it is different. I mean No question. I remember w not that long, maybe ten years ago, I was there a lot. I was seeing somebody there and was in a bar in Toronto with a bunch of her friends and there's a lot of drinks and I I think I tipped the bartender like twice and the third time I went to do it, he pushed it back . And I said he said, No, you you give me enough. And I was like, you know, in America you could be arrested. That's right. That would uh Trump would take a very dim view of someone turning down money. And uh it's c that's Canada. I mean I always think of that as Canada as opposed to America, you know. Just different homogenous. Nicer. We're not a homogenous nation here. You look at homog enous nations, Asian, wherever, different cultures. We're not homogenous. That's been part of what we have to deal with, but that's the greatness of America. But Canada is homogenous. Only now are they feeling it. A city like Toronto, there's over four hundred thousand immigrants. Yeah. And their crime rate has gone through the roof. Yeah. No, Canada and England as a whole others. Eight million. In my lifetime, and again, I'm this is not a complaint, haters, uh for it for the better became way more diverse. I was in London for the first time in 1984. So I'm not saying it was better that it was an all-white city . I'm glad historically I got to see this thing uh back when like uh it looked like World War II Britain. The food was horrible, everything was Brussels sprouts. Right. The television had two channels. That's right. You know, there was an England. That's right. And I'm not saying it was all better. And uh I think London now is like I mean, it's like I think seventy percent minority or something. So over nine million dollars. You know, this is called progress. That's right. I I just like France. But I'm always having to beg progressives to like enjoy the product you're selling, progress. They really hate progress. Yeah. You know, there's something about their psyche that's has to say, no, we haven't done it That's right. Do we always have to bitch? Yeah. I mean, if I wanted bitching, I'd get married. Yeah. It's a different landscape out there today, big time, certainly on this part of the world. I mean you look at uh look at Sweden the other day. They're send now they're vetting out those that they let in. If they don't have jobs they're going back again What was the name of the sisters over there? Uh there was only one. The only sisters were the Kessler girls. Oh really? No, they were little blonde beauties with blue eyes. And I was up there singing my little heart out, sending my roadie out. That one, that one, that one . We were stopping from from city to city. I've taken them in the woods up against a tree. I couldn't wait another two hours. I was a naughty boy. I'm so glad you can enjoy your past like I'm telling you, this is a r an 84. But I'm so hiding why. Sweetheart. I'm just trying to tell you, it's rare. People just don't have the confidence, the assurance, the m made manness that you possess to to just do that because it's they're afraid and y you know, there's nothing more attractive than actually not being afraid. Right. Especially since you're not saying anything that controversial Listen, does isn't doesn't everybody dream about jumping out of a car with a beauty and running in the woods up against an oak tree? Of course. What? Why are you gonna spend money on a room in in Rach elberg? No, I had some great times over there. That was a cool country. You seemed like you were always having a great time. You gotta have fun, Bill. I I realize somewhere along the way you gotta have fun, man. Humor is the final refuge of sanity . If I meet someone with no humor, bae by e bye, and I'm sat at many tables, blah blah blah , gotta have fun, buddy. Well, that's I mean that is one of the good things about being single is like you decide who you get to be with. Yeah. I mean when you're in a a couple, I mean, I'm not knocking it. I've done it and you know, there are things about it that are amazing, but everything It's a business. It is a business. It's a business. You get involved. They don't understand what they're getting into today. Marriage is a business I'm sorry, it's a business. You can give me all the love you want. But then you don't meet your wife, you don't know your wife till you meet her in court? Let me call Hallmark before I forget this awesome idea. Um Well , it it it is literally a business in the sense that you uh enter into legal a legal relationship that involves the the federal and state government, which is to me was always enough reason to say, why didn't you get married? 'Cause I don't wanna put my love life in the hands of the federal and state government. Now if something happens and life is unpredictable, I have to involve the federal you know. That to me is insane. Yes. What a su what a stupid sucker bet. Total sucker So you wouldn't get married again? No . No. No. But you're open to a relationship. If I'm open to a relationship and I'm with somebody and I'm with them and I don't go out at night till ten in the morning without calling, right? You're married. R what are you talking about ? No. You're married. There's nothing like freedom. It it's nothing like freedom and grace. To be graceful and peace of mind and non-toxic in your world. Right. And people in serious beautiful relationships can have freedom. I mean, not complete freedom in every way, perhaps, and that's appropriate, but like much more freedom than most relationships allow for. Yes. I mean, and and once you make someone feel like they are in a prison. They're going to shiv you. We'll break it out, baby. You're going to make it out of something with the soap and not going to fucking shiv you. No, not always. Um but it is it is, you know , it is it 's a a world where you're taking on your problems and somebody else's problems, and they're doing that for you. And that's the deal. It's not the same thing. But but I mean and some sometimes it works out really Absolute and there's no question. But lot of the young people did they get it Oh right. Why get married? Right. Oh no. Why? I don't I don't and and they kids are very similar. And the the well, they're savvy about certain things like that. Yeah. They're not educated. No. No. They're not educated, period. They're teaching the world. No, but you're right. They're savvy in a world worldly kind of way. Yeah. And about social media, which gives them a great advantage over us. Yeah. Totally. Yes. But by and large, kids are overrated. Frightening what's going on in some of these families. Well, it's and the commitment that you put into them, these women that work so hard, but the only real person you'll ever meet in your life is your mother, in most cases, I must tell you. The New York Post sent some uh reporters down to spring break that's going on in Florida now. Yeah, yeah. And uh asked them the kids on the beach about the war in Iran. Didn't ring a bell. Nothing. I know. Straight or her moose . What's that? Sells like a dish at a Lebanese restaurant. I mean Ayatollah. What's an Ayatollah? You know. Very true. I mean, I don't my parents' generation who fought World War II, I asked my mother this, and you know, they were called the greatest generation, and I said, you know, w wow, you're the greatest generation. And she said, yeah , we weren't until the war came and we had to be . But I'm not really sure if the war came, these kids would like my mother's and father's generation. I'm not sure they could get their shit together. But you you have kids that age that are how old is Well I've got uh I've got six kids, I've got five girls in their fifties, I've got a son who's twenty, and I have one and I have uh nine. Okay, so what so do you and the twenty year old have a a walked. You're close. So close. Awesome. So so he's not like makes you crazy with woke bullshit . No, he's cool. I talk to him all the time. He's cool. Listen, it's it's uh he's got a good head, he's got he's figuring it out, it's poker, some chicks, s weed, uh has an opinion about what's going on. No no no. I I sit and I vet his friends. I'm very proud of my son. I got a great son. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Because twenty, you know, your sister's You don't know the twenty five. A a male brain at twenty is maybe the worst thing o of your whole life. Yeah. Uh anybody's life. Yeah. Really you're you're you're old enough to be able to do damage And you do. And you yeah, you don't have Yeah, you just Hey everybody's been there, Bill. That's what it is, part of the process. You come in alone, you're going out alone. You make your choices. You know, I learned listen, I got real lucky at a young age, started figuring shit out, had my lumps, but I just tried to make fewer mistakes. 'Cause it was tough, man. Fifteen years old in that world and then no no. Well so when the Grim Reaper comes, how do you want to go out? I don't want to be there. I don't know. You don't you don't look like you're anywhere near it. No, you know. Right now I look at everything and I go . It's not mine. It's all rented. I can't get attached to any of this shit. 'Ca everuseything's temporary in life. You just get ready and know that one day you're gone, you're over. Nobody will remember you. Ah, your music. But when I look at it all, you just have to be ready and know that if you live the moment proper ly, you don't live in the past and you don't worry about tomorrow. When it's time, it's time. I take care of myself. I have a very strict diet. I all the bullshit that you hear, I do it. But I'm ready. You know, I look at my home, it's I'm not a big stuffed guy, I don't want car. But it's not mine. It's fucking rented. Well you have you ready, but your your your body and your mind are ready because you don't you don't like like we can't hide that we're like seventy and eighty-four. We can't hide that we're technically old people. Okay. But there is an energy you give off that's old person energy. And neither one of us, at least finally, I mean, at the end of the day, is doing that yet. Yeah. And as long as you have that going, you know, people just, you know, there is ageism in this country, a lot of it. Oh, a lot of ageism. You can overcome it rather quickly in person anyway. Because people just it's it's it's instinctive, it's below the intellectual level. They just feel a certain energy. It's it has to do with the way you move, the cow you there's just a a you know, a a doddering sense if you're not that you know Biden esque shall we say. But you know you just don't read old. Yeah. And that's my goal too. Yeah. And you can do it. You can and you can do it. You can do it. If you're your own detective and you're really on top of it, you can do it. I pri and when I read about what's coming down the pipeline in terms of longevity , it's gonna be magical because we don't know half the shit that's happening. We don't see it coming, but I can promise you they are now on the cusp within the next two, three years. You see, every child born after the year 2000 will live over 100. They know that. But for us, one day we wake up, oop, New York Times, whatever. There is shit coming down the pipeline that we will take, that we will live a healthy, coherent life. Over a hundred . And we'll talk about that. You and I when we go to Japan in four years. We are gonna get there. The question is when um my point of view is I don't mind dying I just don't want to be the last guy before they figured it out . You know what I mean? I don't want to miss it by a week. You won't. You don't think I will? No. You'll be cool. So you think we'll be here in Oh, next two years? Absolutely. I think No, I do . So you'll be more than two years. No, no, I'm talking about uh medic ally , they're gonna be coming out with stuff that's gonna give us a lot of longevity. That's what I'm saying. I think within two, three years we'll know that. But longevity, but it does end at some point, or of course 100, 110, 20 yeah. Well, I mean uh the the goal would be to actually cure old age. You know, it I mean I wouldn't go that far right now. No It's like I want some proof about UFOs. I want some proof about uh God. You know, I I'm a guy that I want to look at proof. I need to look at the facts on the table to make a decision. Otherwise, you know you know, you're not gonna get a fight out of me, you're not gonna get this, but I'll give my opinion. No, you always conducted your career with class, you know. You never uh you weren't and didn't do stupid things, you never did anything that we had to read in the paper and go, Oh, Jesus Chr Not over yet. Not over yet. No, it's true. You know, you didn't get robbed by your managers because you're a fucking idiot. I never once saw you get out of a limousine and there was your crotch exposed., you know I mean, it's just you always were like classy. I think again that's like when I was a young beau in the seventies, uh looking at other men as role models. I just feel like, oh yeah, that guy in Vegas with the, you know, doo-doo with the rat pack shit and uh It's all surface shit for most of them. All the guys, something you look at, even when I look at people, you know, a long time ago I got sc ared to death. I was going to sing for the Queen of England, command performance. And I came with a tool that triggered me for a lot of people. I picture people nude . It calms me down. I do too. It's called masturbating. You're just hammering that rubber. No, no. I look at people nude and you the reality to read a room and know who's bullshit. And it's not all a lot of it's for show Bill. Everybody's gonna wind up at home in a fucking bathrobe eating a sandwich and farting for two minutes. There's no none of those guys are cool all the time. I can promise you. Singers are cool all the time, , no, no sing like this. And then they go home and it goes to the other side. If I could l if I could uh make a bargain with the devil and if he would give me the power to be able to sing, I would accept uh having my neck com permanently stuck . As long as I could sound like you when I say I'd be okay with it. I'd be on my show. Uh boy that that Trump did some weird shit again this week, huh folks? But as long as I could say 'd be cool . Oh was that? Yes, Dr. Strange Love. Remember with the the hand that could talk to you all night. Yeah. I probably should let you go. I've had you here for two hours. It seemed like ten minutes. Two hours. Listen, that's what's we're having fun at flies, that's what they say now. Well we're gonna do it again. Well Harvey Levin, our visual friend. Oh I love Harvey. I love him too. Okay, can we all have dinner ? Yeah, we'll throw it together. Are you going to Zazov's dinner Monday night? Do you go to dinner with David? What an awkward question. Is he your bu way pivoted? Is that your butt? He absolutely is. Yeah, but Well, why don't you come be my date Monda y night? I'm going along. No, no, I think I I think if I'm Till I get there. Look, he knows a lot of people. You can't be at every party. This is my first. Oh yeah. I've been uh Um

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