Non Compression Socks Pitch

Great news for comedy TV fans. Every episode of the Hulu original series Alice and Steve is streaming on Hulu. F From the producers of Baby Reindeer, best friends Alice and Steve, see their world implode when Steve starts dating Alice's twenty six year old daughter. When the once rock solid friendship turns sour, these best friends make the best enemies. Watch every episode of Alice and Steve on Hulu and Hulu on Disney pllus for Bundle subscribers. Terms apply Festival season is here And Apple Cache is an easy and secure way to split the bill Just send a request money right in your group chat in the messages app. Once you're settled up You can spend the money you receive anywhere Apple Pay is accepted Open your wallet app and set up AppleCash today. AppleCash services are provided by Green. Bank, member FDIC Hey everyone, Scott Okerman here and welcome to another Bonus Bang where we are rereleasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. Now this week's Bonus Bang is the last episode in a series that we are calling AQuickie with Kayla Dicky, which of course features That wonderful character, Kayla Dickkey, played by Lily Sullivan U You know, Kayla Dicky, if you've got a huge truck, you've got her attention. Now this episode is called twenty twenty four Tour Dublin P one. It was recorded live at the Sugar Club in Dublin, Ireland. and this was the thirty fourth episode of the twenty twenty four tour and was originally released to subscribers at cBbworld dot com on september tenth twenty twenty In addition to Lillily, the episode features Pauliff Tompkins as Vigilanti hero, JW Stillwater, Jessica McKenna as Park Ranger, Marjorie Kershaw and Ryan Gall Gall rather as Chet brothers And as you'll hear in the episode, the live shows, they're always full of surprises and the funniest guests. so come on out and share the good times We are on the road right now with our ground beefing tour twenty twenty six just started on Monday. And you can see me along with Paul Tompkins and the comedy Bang Bang all stars as we put on a show in a city hopefully near you. And we are going to be coming back to Dublin on this tour this time at Vicker Street in late july twenty twenty six part of ourur leg out there in the UK and Ireland And you can check out all of the tour dates at cBbworld d. com slash tour. All the ticket links are up there. We hope to see you at a show. Now if you enjoy this episode and you want to hear other great episodes of comomedy Bang Bang as well as shows like CBB presresents and Scott H hasn't seen, the neighborhood Listen, College toown, become a subscriber at CBB World com We have all of the past episodes from the CB archives every live episode we've ever done like this one and add free new episodes, plus even more original shows. We're gonna be back Monday with a new episode of comedy Bang Bang, but until then enjoy this bonus bang Thank you Thank you, Dublin, my God Hello All right Thank Thank you. Thankk you Why are there people lit up in the back? see their every expression This's gonna be a tough show All right, I have to do this first Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John went to bed with his stockings on. John is not a bright boy, but we let him stay for the tax break. Welcome to comomedy Bang Bang Oh. Even more of you are lit up now Hello love You just made it. that was a close one Thank you so much to Ryan Gahall's Baseball card commercial. two in a row from Ryan Gall's Baseball card commercial. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang, Sugar Club. My gosh 'such such a pleasure to be here in Ireland. have never been It looks great. Oh, you're not illuminated any longer. thank God It's so wonderful to be here. We wondered if we could do shows in Irelands and you guys proved it. Here we are. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for showing up My name is Scott Okeran. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang, and I have a question for you. It doesn't seem possible, but is there anyone here in this small crowd who has doesn't know what this is, has never heard of Comedy Bang Bang Yes. Don't sound so annoyed Yes Why am I here? someomeone kidnapped me, Threw me in the back of a van. Here I am now Well, sir You're not going to like what what I'm about to say It's a live podcast taping O It's essentially a talk show. I'm the host of the talk show. I'm going to bring out several guests here. We're going to have conversations. We've not talked about what these conversations are. We've not rehearsed any of these conversations. We've not preplanned any of these conversations. We've not discussed the subject matter or anything. And we're going to bring people out and it we're going have fun. It's a pretty good show today You know We have a reality TV star That's exciting I don't think for your country So you wt know who they are We also have a government employee, but a US government employee So enjoy that show But before we get to that, Dublin, I'm so proud to bring what has become for a lot of people, their favorite part of the show and what a lot of people, yes, that's right. I hear them saying it What a lot of people have said is the most exciting fifteen seconds in podcasting. You heard someone say, BR and I you're out there saying what could that possibly stand for? BR? are they saying they're cold and they just Don't have the Anamonopeia scents to go mur No, what they're saying is BR, which stands for two very special words here on the show. Of course, we're talking Dublin about the balcony report. Let's get to it Elbow All right, what this is And you already know what it is. why? Why am I bothering? You know it, you love it, but I'm gonna let this gentleman back here know exactly what he's in for What this is is it's instructional for the people listening back at home Actually for some of you with no spatial awareness to find out exactly to the balcony how many balconies are in each of the venues in which we're performing The balcony, of course, is what you always w to perform in front of, the more the better. That means you've arrived in show business Don't wan to brag, but in London, we performed in front of three balconies That's right. So Are you booing balconies or London? London, I get it. I understand. I read one history book I get it Thank you. So let me tell you what's gonna happen. I'm going to give you two numbers The first number I'm going to give you is the number of balconies in this room Realizing that may be anticlimactic. I'm then going to add that number and tell you the number of the balconies that we have performed in front of across the entire tour. Now this has been a long tour. We're edging close to the end of it I hate to say edging and In reference to this show, but it applies. This is our thirty fifth show Of the tour We have performed so far in front of thirty six balconies Yes That's not one of the numbers I'm going to give you. That's a bonus number So I'm gonna to add the first number I give you to that number, which is thirty six. And Dublin Sugar Club I am pleased to punch to announce you have zero balconies Wow Even when it's a low number, it's thrilling So I'm gonna add that number to thirty six changing it for tomorrow's show H we are. across the entire tour, over thirty six shows We have performed in front of thirty six balconies. And I don't have to tell you, that's an average of one per night By the way, this segment is now over Thank you very much All right, we have a great show tonight. Are you guys ready for it? You're such a great crowd. I'm so happy to be here. I mentioned let's see on the show tonight We have a reality TV star. We also have a US government employee Mmhm Is y'all safe cram go I'm Sirene. Sorry, whoever's speaking in the crowd, Could you please? Oh my gosh It's JW Stillwater, everyone. Is y'all safe I need a verbal confirmation from everybody. Is y'all safe? They're very. They're the safest people I've ever met in my life Oh super safe. Safest houses. Of course we have this in case we want to a pit, start a mh. I know about this stuff. People get there listen to you talk thiss throw bunches. JW Stillwater, it's incredible to see you here. We didn't expect to see you on the show. Noobody expects JW Stillwater to be in Dublin, Ireland of all places For those of you who don't know JW I am a vigilante hero from Cumberbatch County, Florida. This explains my strange garb You're of course wearing coveralls. That's rightat. A mask made out of a bandana. and the flag of Florida as my cape And a mask, of course, made out of a santanna. Yeah I want to say it too. It is fun. is fun. But also your hat is what it hat. Yeah and a hat. The hat and the coveralls are they part of your Your civilian identity as well. Yeah, they's part of my civilian identity. my day of fanbo mechanic named Edd Lee Capers. Forget that I said that That is my secret idea today. I do not want my loved ones to be hard, backrinals. Who are your loved ones Have we ever talked about this We haven it really Yeah You don't want them to be harmed, Who are we talking about, dude? It was my wife and my four kids. You have a wife This never came up? This is never come up. Yeah You been married for about thirty years. Yeah. Her name' Linda, Linda, best woman in the world You know, I like say I marry my best friend That's so nice. My best friend is a guy named Steve, but y'all o to get married. It's legal now, Rhatt? I don't Not sure about here. Oh. Oh it is No, everything that we had that was legal is now legal here and everything that was illegal here is now going to be illegal in America. Yes. We're doing a freaky Friday With people's rights. How how old are your child? Oh how I'm stammering because I'm so stunned at this information. I got my son, Ted, he is twenty one. twenty one. Yeah. So you didn't name him after the Funny Bear movie No, he predates the Fny Bear movie. I named him after Theodore Roosevelt. onene of our great presidents. He loves shooting animals And And what what does Ted do He's at Harvard. V very proud of him. On a full ride? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How he's super smart. What is his He I haven't been me in a while And You're doing good. Emma? Yeah. 'cause I feel like No. I feel like I sound like somebody. No, no, no, no. It' That I didn't sound like before. What do you normally say? Let's log in. You say, is y'all safe? Is y'all safe Y'all ever seen a kator do a double take? Right That's right. I know, you have to say it. Oh, y'all ever said a gate or do a double check. There And then of course, when people bring fanbo in for repair, nine times out ten' gonna be that fan. Yep You're locked in. All right. All right,. That's good to know What is Ted's field of study, if you don't mind me Geology. Geology. Yay's a Harvard geologist What is there left to know about that's the Earth? We're trying to figure out how to eat 'em, how to eat rocks. Make a more sustainable planet. I braason you just put it in your mouth and chew That's going be harder than you think Have you ever ate a rock? They held on the teeth. That's true. We make teeth stronger. Think how a loousian you can crack one of your teeth in half. Now try a rock Sometimes you can bite it into a rocket and it just goes crrunch So you have eaten her out Yeah And it goes crunch. What kind of rock is this? Igigneous I know a lot about rocks. Sm dead Always talking about them at the dinner table? That's right. I'm very proud. Yeah. And then you must have two daughters as well. I do have two Why must I? I do, but why? You said my boy, Ted, and that implies that you only have one boy Well, I said I had four children L had three. You might have thought that, but that's not what I said. Four, Thank you, Diblin So you do have two daughters, so you have two sons, two dughters. That's right. Wow. A set of each And run through the ages of the other ones if you don't mind. T to twenty one. Miranda is nineteen Michelle is fifteen Bert is two years old. Wow We thought that chapter of our life was closed. Then somebody left Bird on our doorstep. Oh, ye You know, Linda got a tubbeide and I got a vasectomy Youlcome the same day. Yep. We made a date night out of it We' on ad joining tables holding hands. They played some spa music. We were sipping on, you know, water with a lime in it So that's wonderful that you have such a loving and devoted family, it sounds like. And are they upset that you're spending most nights out there on the town looking for crime? They don't know I'm doing it. They don't know. They're not in on the secret. They just know I'm atly Capers Which I'm not Is there our last name Lee Capers or just Capers? Capers, Capers. It's Ted Lee Capers They're all the mle mate So Miranda, Miranda L Capers, Michelle. Michelle Lapers Burtley Cury Hapers And you know what my wife Linda, took middle nameame Lee when she married. L. Linda Lee Capers. No, she's Linda Lee Johnson. She just took the lead. She just took my middle name. All right. I was like, you got your choice. I was hoping she didn't pick Eddie. So you, of course, your origin story, you lost a hammer. That's right. My hammer got stole And I felt like the crime was too much in Cumbatch County and the police is corrupt, Big earirl and little earl Which by the way, Big girl is the son and L girl's a son, Little El is father. And I said enough is enough And you know what happened? Chip Zenough was nearby. and he said, Are you talking to me? From the band enough Z enough. Enough is enough. Was that his Christian name Z enenough? It's probably Charles Zenough. Not Chip. sureure. Anybody else in here fifty five years ago? So So I started patrolling and preventing crimes from happening in Cumbatch Count, Florida. Because they hear the whirr of the fanbat blades. and they say, Oh, I better get out of here Now From what I know about fanboats, you can hear, I can't wait to hear this You can hear the whirr of the blades approximately fifteen minutes before the fanboat arrives. fififteen minutes. It's on a jet engine. How how much of a head start are you giving everyone? when they hear the word Oh these guys got these guys got precisely enough to To get scared and get going. So you've never caught anyone. N needed to By the time I got there, no crime is happening So you don't even know if a crime was occurring because by the time you're there, I know here's what I know. People like to commit crimes. Somebody needs to stop that from happening I am doing exactly that So you are basically just toutling around in your toing Iing in a fanboat, son. What term would you describe it as? Fanin So're out there in Florida Fan and R. Fan and around Seeing the sights. Yeah. and assuming that crimes are stopping all around you as you approach. I mean, if I'm not seeing the crimes and knowing that people like to do crimes, then I have stopped the crimes I don't see what's so hard to grasp about this. I wish Tad was here to talk to you And did you ever find the hammer? I on the hunt for the hamer. But I come over here becausecause I gota lead. Okay, so we're in Dublin. That's right Usually when I see you, it's out there in Los Angeles, you take the fanboat. That's right. You go through the Panamela Canal. That's correct But it must have been so much easier to get here. Oh, who's a dream It was a breeze Just open water at a wonderful time But how long does it take to sail here via fan? It's not sale. It's a fan boat.ure Seven days How many canisters of gas did you need to bring All of them I got faster as I went on And I finally made it to the Irish Sea. You ever see, Cpy do a double take D pander So why did you come here? You got a lead, you say? I heard about some thieves here I was following up a cold case From twenty ten. Okay. Some people stole from the Dublin Zoo a penguin named Kelly Then they returned the penguin hours later. And they said it was just a prank whichich I got to admit pretty funny. I mean, as pranks go, so funny. There's a penguin there. O second. But there's a theory that says pain would return It wasn't a real Kelly It was an impostor penguin A am penguin And some people say the real Kelly is still alive. Now, average lespan of a penguin, it ain't lone So how could that be? Yeah, what are we talking? We're talking, We're talking like six years. It's sad. It's sad when a cute animal don't live long. So how could that be these so called pranksters have created a device that will extend lifespan of any living thing. And part of the creation of this machine They used a hammer. Now, I'm missing a hammer. Some criminals have a hammer There are no coincidences as some people say. But you just did it You're one of those people. One of those people. You bing Why? Why would why from that noise. You gonna be all incredulous and acting like I'm dumb. You're not dumb. Oh thanks. I think this plan leaves much to be desired. What' my plan? Not your plan. The plan of these people to steal the penguin. They create this machine Yeah that extends the life of any living creature. And they say, let's start with penguin Because they got robbed. Life'pain wise Some would say they might want to turn it on themselves and become immortal gods. Yeah, well, you start with an animal. You don't go putting makeup on your face right away You gotta spray it on some monkeys and rabbits That's anyone who gets any makeup from Sephora or anything. Yeah. From a monkey's face to your hands. They use that as the slogan. This rabbit can't see no more, but everyone will see you So you heard about this? Wh did you get this tip? Oh, there's special crime websites. whereere you can go prime d. com Yeah It's cram d. com. That's my homepage I go to the message boards on crrime. com. ee what everybody's talking about? And sometimes I go international And you heard tell of this incredible sounding crime. Yeah. And this machine, you heard the rumors of this machine. You heard the rumors of this machine. Okay. And then you he how did the hammer play into it? They didid someone ask build a machine? So any machine, you assume has a hammer in. Every machine that's ever been built is a hammer is part of it How else is it possible Name one machine made without a hammer What do you count as a machine Anything that's not a person, I guess. does a job, a wheel Yeah, you think therein's no no hammer made a wheel How do you like those folks get in there? The wheel was the first invention though. Like they didn't invent the hammer and then used that to make the wheel. How do you think they made a wheel So do you think that had the name wheel all ready to go They named these things later. So of course I had a hammer. Hammers for s Murure was used for murder. Then, tools He this works really well. Yeah. Hey, I caved in that Cave manan skull over there. What if I made a wheel So are you interested in hammers because Ted is so interested in rocks and I guess rocks were the original hammer That's exactly right. It was my son who got me interested in hammers He made me see the wonder of them If you can', you need to see a hammer through a child's eyes. Yes So you came over here in seven days. Yeah. And how is the hunt going I gotta lead. I got a name. A name. And this ought to narrow things down. Okay. The name is Kevin Murphy Now Once I find this, Kevin Murphy. I'm on the road to get my hammer back. Okay. Well, I mean, it's a pretty common Common name. Here I mean, separately yet, but together, uh You can have a millions a million murphies, how many Cvin Murphies could there possibly be? I mean, in Dublin alone I don't know, I could look it up. Do you want me to look up, man? Let's look it up.. Oh, here we go. It ain't going H look out S, look it up. I like that Sry I they' running out of octaves I don't think it's possible to look this up What does it say when you tryc justustin in LinkedIn, Ireland, there's two hundred two hundred plus Kevin Murphy profiles. and that's people who are on LinkedIn. Ciminals ain't gonna have no linkedIn profile. This is getting easier and easier There's a salon called Kevin Murphy I know he's out a building, so that's that one out There's a Kevin Murphy headquartered in Melbourne, Australia. Probably Irish, yeah What celebrities use Kevin Murphy products? I feel like I got onto some sort of like. Oh no, you an L MLM a man? You gotta start selling Kevin Murphy products to people I believe that there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, just in Dublin alone. Oh, you believe that? I do. Well, luckily, my procedure is not based on your personal beliefs What is So how are you going to narrow this down then? Are you going to look up the phone book? Are you just going to go out onto the street and shout Kevin Murphy? See who turns around? I'm not going to go out on the street and shout Kevin Murphy What I'm going to do is ask people, Do you know Kevin Murphy? Is there anyone named Kevin Murphy here tonight? Well there better not be Okay not a whole crowd of people discounted ically there. Hammer, here I come What is the motive though for these criminals to come all the way out to Cumberbatch County to steal your hammer? Did you hear the part about the machine? They come out to America because they need an untraceable hammer hereere in Ireland. It's a non registered hammer So hammers here have serial numbers? I assume. And In America, if they do, they fileem off Makes sense Well, I wish you luck. How long do you Thank you Yeah How what's Nash? You're Nashville. Well we're friends and we like each other. We're friends, we like each other. That's right You know what? You're my best friend You married your best friend. All dayang. Gaby. Linda Linda Lee. Linda Lee. What's her last name? Johnson? Johnson Easy to remember LOJ We got everything in the houses monogrammed Depending on who bought it Well, or or yeah, I guess so I guess it's more who uses it? Who uses it the most? Yeah. okay, And is there ever a fight? like I want it to be monogrammed with me We have like separate bathtwels and things. I don't know what you think. You said everything in the house is. Yeah, I did Lamps. Lamps for monogram. pairs of scissors. Pairs of scissors, for monogram. Chopsticks. Yep One chopstick, ELC? One chopstick? LLJ. What about your kids? They don't get in on this monogram stuff. They don't like it. They don't like it. They rebelled against us as teens by not monogramming things. As far as teamens go, we got pretty lucky Where's Miranda going to school She's going to nursing school to become a doctor Thank you. Thank you for applauding for my daughter A lot of people just go to medical school, but she she's going to nursing school, but she's taking medical courses online. And so when she graduates nursing school, they'll say, cononggratulations to're nurse and she'll slap their hand away and say, uh, I'm a doctor. And then she's gonna put on one of them reflect her things blind the people. Yeah. She's gonna take off her graduation g. She's got a lab coat on underneath. Oh. Yeah. This is a good plan. I love it. Film it, please. She thought of it all her own. Wow. So how long have you given yourself in Ireland to find this Kevin Murphy? It's gotta be between forty eight hours and seven years It happening in seven years. I don't know, I'm just giving myself some time Isn't your family gonna miss you? I mean, do they know you're here? They'll come and visit lookook, as far as they know, I'm here on a very important fanboat conference They get a lot of fanboats here in Ireland. I have no idea Theys for sws mainly Dasa? A, I feel sorry for y'all. Sandboats Manan's greatest invention I hope Linda doesn't look up arere their fanboats in Ireland Why would she trust me? She trusts you. Yeah. But she shouldn't because you're deceiving her. I'm not deceiving her to ha an affair or nothing. That's the only reason that any spouse shouldn't be okay withce being deceived This is not being deceived I'm doing something for in the name of justice. It's a noble calling that I have. So why not just tell her I think she would try to talk me out of doing it. Is that so wrong? I mean, yes Some would say thatre you're on a fool's errand. Who Not me any l's right. We're friends. Yeah. I hope nobody going come in here and say that Do know Do do you know what an aocation is and what a vocation is? A vocation is a job and an avocation is a calling. Is that No?. opposite the opposite. An ad vocation is something you just do. A vocation is something you are called to do. like I am called, do fat crime So I can't quit doing it. and I can't let my emotions be manipulated by someone that I love very much. Because what if B bigig gl or a little earl has gotten to her. Oh That is a disgusting idea that I cannot allow my mind to ponder I mean, hopefully, you know, maybe you'll let them in on your secret at some point. Would you be interested if one of you I have already made a video That is to be released upon the hour of my death. Which shall explain my Not time activities that I could not share with my beloved family. How long ago did you make the video? Earlier today Because I saw they're releasing new iPhones with like even better quality. Oh day win in like a couple weeks. Oh man. What else do need's already in a vault I like the idea of just rerecording your video every time there's like an upgrade in quality of cameras Don't you want the video to have a sort of dated quality? You know what I mean? Y. ye. That's like a thing. People say that for Jen Z, when they look at baby pictures of them, you can't tell that they from a different time 'cause they' born when the technology was too good. And it's kind of spooky. Baby pictures supposed to look old Right. And weird. You're supposed to laugh at baby pictures, L like That's what pictures look like I guess clothes have changed, everyveryone' wearing low rise jeans Not babies I mean, I hope not I would hate to see a baby low rise jeans. I'd sold to see a baby in a pair of jinkos Well, Eddie, I don't care about what Michelle does Tell me about Michelle. Michelle Din Hasku. She's in the drama department. She's fifteen. Yeah, that's right. She loves to act. She loves to act really. What are some of her roles Well She done written her own plays. Really? Yeah. One act? One actx. Hm Adapted from TikToks You have to start somewhere, I guess? That's right. Yeah So these are they confessional? Are they autobiographical? No, these other people's TikToks. Like she did one act play of Who the fuck did I marry The fail. The fifty hour TikTok story You're not familiar? I don't know this one, but It was quite a sensation. Fifty hours, people watch this? Yeah It's almost as long as the Barbara Striides biography For that Star Wars Cruise video No Okay, what was that? This lady went on a Star Wars cruise, it sucked, and then she talked for like four days about it Like she talked about a betedta was longer than a cruise was. It's hard to believe, but yeah, that's essentially what happened. Maybe she got that Mary Lou Henter disease where she can't forget nothing She's given a minute by minute account of how much she hated it. At this point, if you're Mary Lou Henner, don't you want the disease to be named after you You know, like Lke Garrick Do you think he thought that was honor? I this man got ALS and we said, Lou, you're the most famous guy with it. We want to name it after you, and he was like, Oh, thank you. So touched Why he's naming it? Did you come up with a cure for it? O We forgot His last words are like, please in the future Pour cold water on yourselves In my name Well, what about the youngest? your d The by the mayaby. Of course, that's Bert, Burert. Birdley. I don't know. he's just like toddling around. Yeah. It's a great age. It's a great age. Just zooming around. Well he got his own little personality. Really He didn't take someone else's. Are you making fun of me The fact that he's adopted, do you notice is it nature versus nurture? Do you notice him adopting your qualities? or is he more like his parents, whomever they may be Well I know that You know, we got them a littlea place at. That's like a bunch of tools and He likes to hide the hammer and then look for it. It's adorable So he's good Well put a filter on all his baby photos so they look old. Good He'll appreciate that. We get caught in that trp Ply Im doing the wind upp again. I hear it I wish you luck in your quest here. in Ireland. I hope to be out there on the streets. We're here for another day or so. Maybe you could wrap this up by tomorrow I mean, that would be nice And I did buy a house here Just in case And to have that hammer in your hands again A able to swing it around? No. What's the first thing you're gonna to do with it when you get it back? Probably look at it. In terms of hum, the very first thing 'ause I'll tell you what, when I get that hammer back, It's been so long And it's like a part of me is missing When I get that hammer back, I finally feel like one of the normal people than normal people JW still water, everyone J W This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, Squarespace. It's your all in one platform for building a standout online presence. Whether you're launching something new or leveling up your business, you can secure your domain, create a polished website, share what you have to offer, and get paid all in one place. I hate going to a separate place to get paid. Now you can get paid right there at Squarespace. Squarespace makes it easy to book gigs, sell services and get paid with built in scheduling, invoicing and email tools You can create a standout site fast using AI or designer templates, no experience needed, plus built in SEO helps fans and clients find you while custom domains keep your brand polished and secure. Showcase videos, promote events, or even monetize content. everythingverything is designed to help you grow your audience and your business Check out squarespace. com slash bang bang for a free trial. and when you are ready to launch, use offer code Bang Bang to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain Your outdoor space should feel like you, right? 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I don't really have the time, but I love the concept of it Do you have like one of those mini TV's with the antennas on the boat? That's right. Black and white. Yep, doesn't work. Great. love it. Well, we have a reality TV star with us. Uh Thost people braing their drama. Well we'll see exactly what happens. She is on a reality TV show or at least she was for a little while. She also Are you okay tryrying to remember exactly what her inner reals are She worked at some bridal store. I can't remember what. Please welcome Kayla Dicky, everyone. Kayla Dicky. Tayla Diggy . Hey. How. Hey, Kayla, how are you U I'm pretty bad. I'm so sorry. Yeah' fine. It's all good. How are you? I'm good. This is JW Stillwater. Hey. Hey How you doing? Yeah, like I said, I'm pretty bad. I'm sorry. It's all good. Is there anything I can do to help you? yeah, but I'm sure we'll get into that. I'm gonna move you back a little bit I love when a man moves me around Kayla, it' so good to see you. I know. Are sure this is okay? You don't wanna move me one more time Go ahead, take me for a spin, take me out there. You want to get into the pit Look at this little hole right here. Why is that? That's what you said That is what I said, Scott. I heard you. That is what she said. My God. It's so good to see you. I know. I love talking about holes with you I know it's no longer tiny dick month. You must be. I know. I'm so sad. When was it? It was the end of it was like July six twenty sixth to August twenty sixth. It twenty. Yeah Yeah. And it was such a good small dick month, wasn't it? Scott. How did you celebrate privately My family and my clergy person It's so special. I'm so happy for you. So for those of you who don't know Kayla, Kayla, you were on a reality TV show, but your saga started earlier than that. Yeah. You worked at David's bridal. Davids I keep wanting to say David Busters I don't think they have either of those here. Theyid they have Dave ord busters Could you'sital. Could you explain David Busters to them, though? I'd like to see them. Yeah, it's an awesome thing where adults go to basically a little kid arcade and and pay adult prices.id pay adult prices. They're wasted. You to get drunk and play asteroids or some shit It sounds more fun than it is the way I just described it Imagine how And then that's Dave investors Anyways, Scott. So you worked at David's Ridal. I worked at David's. story short, you had a Boss? No, you had the mayor. Jud Webe. Keep telling my story I'm just try I'm trying to make it as short as possible. You had a boss You This is gonna to take longer, I think. The mayayor of the town, Jud Webie. Yeah He set a fire. Yeah. He it burned the entire city down. Yeah. He ran off into the woods. Yeah. Started posing as a bear. Lived as a bear. yeah. Dressed as a bear in a bear costume. Yeah You and all of his girlfriends because he had several girlfriends. Multiple. Yeah, he was fucking all of us. I would go out there in the woods and shout, Jud, Jud. I'd be like, Jud, J Jud Yeah. So then they named the trail that we would run up the name Jud Weie. And then one day he came back into town and I saw him and he was a bear eating out of my trash and I was like, Jud. And it was Jud. And then we got married and we lived on a compound with all me and my girls. And then I ran away from the compound because I heard about a new truck. Basically, I love guys W big, B, bang, bang Truck and small decks. And these usually go hand in hand. They always go hand in hand, Scott Yeah, you just cannot find a big truck without a small dick out there. So yeah, then obviously I had to flee for a bit. I was. Obviously you had to flee I. I was on a couple of reality shows, namely Love's Truck and the Truck' atte And then obviously I had to be single for small dick months. so I was always single for small dick months. Oh sorry What was the coner by? Love his truck? I'm so glad you asked. I feel like the truck are at, I can fill in the gaps. But loveove hiss truck, I'm having clue. In Love his truck, they taped our eyeballs shut And we were all in this cab of a truck, and I had to talk to this guy and figure out how big his truck was and how small his dick was. Totally blind without my eyes. That's actually what I was thinking So did you have to figure it out through conversation or could Yeah that you use your hands or Well, yeah, of course I tried to use my hands, but I was all tied up. Oh you were tied up? Oh ye, they tied us up too. Chicken style Chicken style. Chicken style, mylegs are like this. Oh, like roasted chicken style. Wop Yeah, chicken style. Chicken style. N also my favorite sex position , Scott. So anyway, so you're not on the reality shows anymore. Small Dick Month is over. It was such an awesome smallall Dick mononth. It's such tiny dicks. Yeah. Anyone own a truck out here? Well, that's what I wanted to get into, Scott. Okay, so what happened? What's wrong, Kayla Hey, are you okay You you Zero safe So you know that right after smallmall Dck month is Bundo Saints month Isn't there There's like some overlap or there's Yeah, there's slight overlap. So like three days is where they're both happening in, which are the best three days of my whole life. Yeah. So that it starts on the twenty third. So august twenty third through september twenty third. Right is Baints mononth. Okay. On this Bndach Saints Month, I saved and I saved and I saved and I came to Ireland to celebrate Windacains too which takes place in Ireland And there is a Boondoock Saints too. Oh, there's a Boondock They came out in two thousand nine. I haven't even seen one, so I To be honest, Scott, I haven't even seen them either. Really? Yeah, I've just had them explained to me by guys That sounds so fun. It's so fun. And every time I kind of glaze over and black out, so I don't even know the plot But I love Bunck Saints. Yeah. So anyway I came to Ireland thinking, there's got to be a lot of small dicks here Chance to reason, sure Some right here in the audience. Finally. G, Okaykay, so when I arrived, I was like looking for big trucks because that's how I usually find small deck. Sure, yeah. So I'm looking around looking, looking, looking. I went down O Flanananigan Street. Nothing. I went found molligllans Nothing. Nothing I went down O Sullivan Reileyon Burg Son ofan. Nothing So then I was like, okay, I can't find any big trucks. Maybe I should just go to the places in the US where I find big trucks. So I tried to find a Walmart parking lot. No. No I tried to find a january sixth barbecue No. Are these barbecues occurring on january sixth or? Yeah, these are celebratory barbecues. You've never been to one. But they're happening on any day, not just January sixth. Oh, yeah, P people celebrate year round. You gotta keep it in your heart all the year long Wait a minute, were you there? onntade I buildild a gallows. Do you know how to shit on a desk? No we'all So I couldn't find any big trucks. So' going on? I'm so stressed. So I thought, okay, I'll just look for where I know I find small dicks Sal? I went to find a men's rightights conference Nothing I tried to find a gun store. Not a single gun store. No gun stores? I tried to find What kind of backwater country is this? I tried to find a Jordan Peterson concert Sir. Yeah, he sings I even looked for Don't tread on me flag, Scott. Not a single one. Look how silent everyone wants didnn't see anything. And then I saw In the distance Comedy bang thing And got Scot one now He knows lots of Small Dick Men. Scott is king of Small Dick Mad. So I came to the show and now I'm here and I'm looking for help, finding small dick men and big truck truck If you had to choose one or the other, which would you prefer? This is so tough because I think if we were in the US, I would say bigig truck. But because I'm over here and I've seen the Big trucks here, they don't have those child bearing hips They don't have those eighteen foot tall wheels. They don't take over. The streets are too narrow here. It's disgusting. It only takes one step to get in a truck here You should have to be struggling. It should be like you're climbing up the side of a mountain to get at that thing. I need someone to be like Bay on. and I'm like belay. That's a climbing reference. Yes. What? someomebody coaches you while you climb? Yeahes, somebody well, someone has the rope tied to their belt. They go B you go B adaught. Hidave you ever been to Colorado No. Bay is normally, I think the way you're thinking of it is belay that order, like cancel that order. Now I was thinking like people dancing around U What am I saying? Why don't they just say, Are you gaad rope doinging good Don't let that roes up down. Well, I don't know whether they have these types of big truck trucks here even in Ireland itself. Maybe in the country. does anyone here own a big truck? orone does anyone even own like, I don't know, a really cool car, like a PT cruiser or a cyber truck here? Have they shipped the cybertrucks out here yet? No. No. They looked at us. So sorry A You'all supposed to be tearing your hair out Guys, can I just talk about them for a second? They look so cool The way they the way they're so sharp. Yeah. The way they look like a little kid's toy. so hot. So I've decided to just be okay finding a small dick man without a bang, bang bang chunk So how do you want to do this? You want to u Well, so I guess I'd just like to ask a couple of the people in the audience here. She's stepping into the hole. Hey, sir, how are you Good, How are you? So good. Now that I'm out in the audience. do you have a small dick? U yeah Oh my go. Wow Wow. That was so easy As a Saldick man Where do the smallaldeck men in town hang out? I actually thought that's what this was Well you're right about that. Any podcast has a lot of small dig But where do you think that like the Irish equivalent of, I don't know, a Jordan Peterson concert is? Um Cop of Jordan Peterson concert. Does he make it out here? He does. A lot? Really? You've been? No Damn. That's such a bummer I I get excited for a minute there, Scott. Do you know where all the small dick guys hang out? 'cause I know this queen here is looking for one. Are you down with small dicks as well I loveove them, love them. can't give enough. Awesome Where do you find them in town I'm the streets. O in these streets. It is like the US. Wow. Can I ask you do guys do this awesome thing that they do in the US where they're like, damn girl, you look so sexy. You're asking for it I do that to them. Like I just ye Okay, good, G. Wow. Hi Sir, how are you Do you have a small Okay? Yes. Oh my God, they're all here, Scott, it's crazy. W Can you just fill me in? Where do you go? Where do you hang out Uh Coppers Copers. What is copper? It's kind of like a nightlobe, I guess Like like a disco attacker Yeah, something like that. yeah. Well, don't a a star What kind of music do they play there? Bad music, like what Whoa. Wow Wh the fuck just said that Who said that I'm sorry, Scott, I have to. I just remember feeling this guy has a big dick Where are you? Oh. He turn on his flashlight to better direct you. What What did you just say? It wasn't it was a guy bes me This little bitch. What's what did you just say? I said Sabrina Carpenter Is what? Bad music? Terrible. You can't even sing along to it at all Scott, did you just hear that? Anyone can sing along to Sabrina Carpenter Welloa, this guy definitely has a huge car. B! Get out of here, you next monster Okay, so if Sabrina Carpenter is bad music, what is good music? You big dick guy I'm a big fan of this very hot Australian girl called Lily Sullivan who does. She was a very good coopper of Saboria carpents I don't think Really good specifics that are incorrect But that girl sounds really hot. but we don't have to talk about that right now. No. Scott, we just need to prove him wrong about that, I think. A small dick Kingss Do you think that Mia Dresso? Is a bad song? I think it's a fine song. I don't know what any of the words are, but I thought you did It Everybody knows the words me espresso It's one of the best songs in the universe. It's written so everybody can sing alone JW, you know me espresso? of course I do. Of course. I got a radio on my fambo And that works. It works like a charm I guess we just have to prove that big dick King wrong, don't we, everyveryone in the audience You guys know all the words, right Okay, hit up. You are here here am now. he coming up M E Bzil! G Cers Brrenso. Goodor Ms mle. I'm working late. G mer and G G sound It's a mop, it's a banger, it slaps It's so good. It's so good. And only people with giant dicks wouldn't like it So true. It's really nice to see you out of your shell again Kayla, can I ask you a question? Yeah. in addition to Tiny dicks And big, bab, bab, big trucks. Yeah. What else do you like? Oh God, no one's ever asked me that before I like egg bites at Starbucks They don't have those here. They don't have egg buts. I don't they got Starbucks. Well, they have egg bgs, but it comes in a different kind of box and it's served like out front and cold. And then they heat it up for you. It's not the same, Scott. Boo. I'm sorry What I like What else do I like? H and n Um I like I mean, these aren't like hobbies. These are more things that you buy or stores that you go to. Yeah, exactly. That's what I mean. My hobbies. I like Plers. I like o, forever twenty one. Zara Listen to that, listen to the c Yeah, I mean, what else is there but consumers and Scott I mean, do you like to spend your own money on this? or are you trying to look for a man who is not only a small dick King with a big, big truck, but also spends money on you? Absolutely, Scott. I love a suugar daddy. Don't be assalt, daddy What's assaalult Daddy? When they don't pay your allowance Well will they pay for other stuff, but just not the allowance? Is that A sal daddy? A sal daddy. No. A sal daddy. Well, he might buy you dinner or something like that, which is fine. You're like, okay, I guess I'll just sit here while you eat your big steak and I also eat mine. That's just a normal human interaction But then when you're like, okay, it's time for me to go to, you know, Zara and go buy like a pair of awesome like new jeans. And he's like, Oh, actually. I'm like, Don't be assult, daddy, Kart. That's my ex boyfriend insane. Oh, ha We haven't talked about Kart in a long time. Cart's dead. Cart, What? How did Cart die? Cart died in a mysterious bear attack Wow. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Yeah, I was just out on a date with Kart. We had rekindled things and then all of a sudden this bear came out of a trash can and ripped his head off. Came out of a trash. yeah.ar went The bear went surprised. Really? Yeah, ripped his head clean off. Wow. And then part of me was like, was that Jud No you think so? Yeah And then I had another boyfriend, Shart. Oh right. Remember Sh? I remember Shart, yeah. So I was with Shp. We were in his car watching Boodnak Saints. And all of a sudden He rolled down his window to throw out his big joint He only smoked a little bit And then his head got clear ripped off B a bear. In a mysterious bear attack, Scott Isn' it? so weird? That' Did the second bear say any English word? Yeah, he said Hati Machi. And then my other boyfriend yeah another one. Qf. Yeah, he died too. Wow. Yeah, But he just died because he got hit by a trunuck He's own his own Wow You hate to see it. You really do. So sorry, but so you're in morning sort of. Well, I've been in morning, yeah, I've been in and out of morning for years now. Yeah. But I'm doing okay. You know too be able to speak at their funerals was so important to me. And I just talked about how B. Sorry. Okay, takeake your time. Yeah Sorry Sick Yeah. I'm sure their families appreciated that Kayla Dicky everyone, Kayla Dicky. Tail, a dickkeie Warm weather is finally here. Do you like that song? I like it too. That's why I sang it. But it's also based on truth because warm weather is finally here and it's time for breathable durable clothes that move with you Wn' wouldn' that be terrible if you moved and your clothes just stood where you used to be? Then you'd be naked. That would be terrible Weldon makes clothes that actually when you put them on your body, it actually moves along with you and doesn't stay right there. 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Also, plants can hear when bees buzz My fiers just heard that. And finally, animal experts have confirmed that goats have regional accents I'm getting a hint of Irish there. It feels good to get good news. It feels good to Gaio No We have a government employee coming to the stage now, a US government employee. Oh my go. A there national parks in Colorado where you're from? Yeah there is. Really? Okay. well maybe our next guest has visited them. Please welcome Marjorie Kersshaw, everyone. Marjorie Kershaw Are you gonna be there Oh, that's great. Hi. Oh Hey Dublin, what's the crack Did you already do that, Scott? I did not. Oh, I'll do it now. What's the crack, Dublin Hi. Are you alright? I'm glad allright. Are you sure? you need a laz? Somebody passed forward lozge. If anybody has a lozenge or a throat spray, glass or water r there at your feet. That's how I got this way. Act. I drank the entire glass. This way, so it's like a permanent condition, Yes Well, we love you no matter what, Scott. This is the new Scott. Even if this is how you are forevermore.. That's so sweet to. Thank you so much. Marjorie, it's great to see you. you are You're not a are you a park Ranger? Yes. you're a park Ranger. That's right. I work for the US. National Park Services. I'm a park. Thank you so much. America's best idea Some would say sometimes are only good one. And what I'm doing I'm on a really exciting exchange right now, Scott, I'm actually working in a national park here in Ireland. Yeah, I know, it's pretty exciting stuff. Whoa. Yeah, I know. very excited. And I definitely got my. Wow. Wow. W.ow. Yeah. Wow.. Can you believe it? I can't. Do you wanna guess which one, Scott, I know you know all six. C couldouldn't pick a favorite. Okay, JW, you wantna guess, I know you know all six. Are you working as a ranger U Bally nature No, good guess, not an official park. Oh dang, I got Swindled. No, I know it's so tr. I know what it happened to you? Did you invest? I went to a place I thought it was a national park. You know what? It can happen because sometimes that we have protected areas, we have levels of high beauty. We have but only six national parks. Do you want to guess which one? I know you know all six. Yeah, I guess Oh, Malagalligan? Okay, againain, yeah, that one's not an official part, but a really good guess. Does anyone wanna guess which one I know you know all six Yeah, you gotta guess there You know what? I wanted Konomar. That was my first choice obviously, because because of the bog, Scott That's music. Yeah Music to your ears, I think.. I'd load a fanb boat over a bog. Oh, you know, you know, I was hoping for Kanamara. It was my number one choice because do you know about the Bogs, Scott? I don't know really anything. Well the Bgs They are well they cut down a bunch of trees so that they could farm. and then those then they got too wet, much too wet. And now there's old old trees all the way down and it compressed delicate plant matter over time, creating sayay it with me That's right. He One of the most important parts about living in Ireland is Pete, Scott. Pe Pete, you know about Pete Moss, Scott? I know about Pete. I've heard Pete, Pete's Dragon. Well let's Here's what I'll say about Pete, It bears repeating So you didn't get that one. You had to go to your safety park? Well does anyone else want to guess? I know you knowew all six What see what she got here Glen Vake, No, up in the north, Glen Ve, beautiful Glen Va, didn. idn't get Glen Vay either, but gorgeous. Anybody else wantan to guess? what else? Killarney, no beautiful Killarney with its mountains near the ring of Care Scott I didn't get Kill Arneie either. It's one of my favorite ones, though, okay, we have three down, three to go. I know you know all six. Yes. Anyone else have a guest What's that Phoenix part, N not an official one. notot an official one. It's okay. No, it's all right. We're all here to learn. I did Escort her out I did hear it. I heard it St right. Yes. The Bern Sy. The Beron. Well, the Buron refers to the area. Buron is the name of the park And it's in, as you know, County Clare. Wait, is what's the other parks? What's the remaining ones? Oh we missed we missed a wild Nfin. Nelfin Nefin, whichich as we know is in County Mayo. And then we also missed just down the road, the Wickls it. T percent of Guinness's water comes from. Oh The Wicklow mountains. Where's other ten percent go from The faucets. Boy, what a mystery. I have no idea. He just turn the hose on. Do You know what? It could be the Holy Spirit, but I won't talk about that 'cause I believe in a separation of church and state. That's right. That's one thing about Marjorie. You're very, very religious. Yes, I'm a devout Methodist, but I believe in this but as a federal employee, I believe in the strict separation of powers, Scott How does this country feel about that Easy going or long tortured history. Scott I' only been over here two months. Unfortunately, that means that the park ranger I swap with is in my station. And as you know, the last whereere have you been? The last park I was stationed at was Cuyahoga, which is just more like a collection of bike trails in Ohio. Yeah. So not a great place for Fanula McCabe, but I am hoping she's having a nice time. We've been writing some fun letters Is that part of the swap? You have to write letters to each other? No, we don't have to. we just chose you ' We were, you know, just giving each other guidance. Well, exactly, yeah, you're the only two people who know what you're going through. That's right It's like it's why Superman dates Wonder Woman and all that kind of stuff. Is that true? I don't know Eie D's lowest lane. She's out. She's out, Lane's out can choose. Brain's out, Brains out. Oh, wow. I I did not know that. Is that how you feel, JW? You date do you only date other vigilantes? No, I got a wive. Oh, right Did she ever mention wanting to be a vigilante when you started dating her? You know what? she did on her first date Here's a question I have for you. Do you think she's out there doing the same thing? He, Linda, I doubt it What's your what's your bedtime routine for like going to sleep supposedly and then sneaking out We turn out the lights Quietly slip out of the bed I have to push the fanbat quite a distance before I started up. Sometimes I do see a mysterious figure across the swamp You're doing the exact same thing Interesting. Sounds interesting. Thank you. Kind of have to idle your boat out. That's right. Yeah. Wow. So wouldould you like to know about the Burns, Scott? I would love to know about the Burns. I don't know anything about Well the park the park the Bern. so the Bern is the area. The Bern is the area, The Berin's. No just Berin is the park. Okay. Okay. and it it's a collection of rocks. I get this. Call Ted His son loves rocks. Geologists. Oh at Harvard. He's a real rock nut. Oh, well, he would love burning abbsolutely, 'cause guess what? the rocks they have, plants. Whoa. Plants can grow out of them and they're real old and I'm new still to the actual posting. But you know what I find fascinating about being there is though it is there's a park that's protected, that's, you know, a national park, but it's surrounded by privately owned farmland So when you're going there, you might have to just Hopefully not go through someone's backyard. And what if you do? Are they able to shoot you on site like they can in the States? They better but I do find that it's sort of tricky because sometimes I get folks who maybe they stopped along the road and they asked for directions and then they never make it to the park. Whoa. Yeahah They're attack styile. Oh, you gotta be careful about that, but not here, no, no large mammals for five hundred years. Not since large scale farming took over, thus giving us the bogs. Do you know what else is in the bog? Scott, oh if only I was at Konamara. In the bogs, you can find full mummies I've only seen half mummies You can see full, full, full mummies. They get preserved under that very specific plant matter and you can pull up whole humans and whole big logs. Now Th these is obviously all murders, right? No, not necessarily. Sometimes people couldn't cross the boogs. they would start to sink like that scene in a never ending story Oh, you all remember that part With a horse or whatever it was? Yeah, that's how I wanna go. Into a bog? Yeah. Well, if that's what you want, you could be mummified for all time and then you could be you could be you, brought up and looked at at a museum which I al love that. bye guys. Yeah. You could be like that. Sure, guys and gals could stare at your little tiny, tiny mummy body. We don't stay the same size when we're mummy Scott. Really? No, we lose No deal I know. I know. it's disappointing. but some of them still have hair and teeth He. Neat, right? is it a sort of mystique that whole area, Scott, you know Inspired Sheamus Haney. Do it now Absolutely. You know the poet? Sure. Yeah. Love his stuff. Yeah, he has a poem called Bogland aboutb the Bogs. Ohas Scott recite it. You know it Bogland, Bogland. Perfect. Yep No, but the burn's cool 'cause it's big, big rocks, and you know, I'm they edible? The rocks? Yeah. I suppose if you groundem up enough and you just wanted some sand in. This is what I'm saying. You never said that like you give you a rock like an apple. No, no, not like an apple Scott. I have to disuade you as an official park ranger, don't eat a full rock like an apple and look out for bees Does Ted have to look out for bees? Everyone Everybody gotta look for bees And I'm sorry to hear that someone you knew died in a bear attack. Yeah, and multiple guys. Oh my gosh, that is horrifying. Yeah. You gotta be careful out there. Bear safety is very important, though I've never been fortunate enough to be stationed in a park with any bears Yeah, I'm so sorry. What is your dream park that you want to be stationed at? You know, Scott Yosemite. Yosemite It the show. The show, the big time. Yeah Where we all hopopeed end up one day, where John Muir said, The mountains are calling and so I must go. The big big rock, the guy climbed with no rope So he never said Bay. Bon These are all references earlier in the show. you weren't out here You know, Marjorie, you know Ballet? Yeah, Ballet, a. U the just what you say when rock climbing? Exactly Sure JW, you gotta go say belade to Ted. He'll know exactly what you're talking about. I will never say that to my son. But he loves Rock so much. I hope he loves his father more Yeah, that's fair We should love our parents more than rocks Be our parents are terrible That can happen. So how long are you stationed here for? Well, Fanula has already written that she'd like to come back. I mean, you were there for years years. I was there for two years. yeah. Yeah. And it was okay. It wasn't the worst park I'd ever been at. Oh, you know what? I actually was near bears. That's right. when I was in the gates of the Arctic, we had big bears there. Thank you Shout out to the Arctic. shout out to the least visited park in the US. Yeah, so I probably have about a month more and then I gott to switch back. And then I'm hoping to put in another transfer request so I don't have to stay at Cuyahjoga and maybe go to the show. Yeah Probably not though Scott. Probably not. But Marjorie, have you ever thought about putting down roots metaphorically or? Literally Oh, I don't know about that Sy. No haveave you ever thought about just being in one place One place and meeting someone and who happens to live wherever that place. I thought that this farmer down the road was maybe asking me out on a date because when I asked him for directions, we talked for two hours. He ended up telling me about a cross from thirteen eighteen I could look at if I wanted to that it was a fair cross, not the best cross that they had in the county. But a pretty decent cross and certainly better than any ones they have up the road Tell me about how his brother in law was coming in from Donnie Gall and how he's always going on and on about how their cliffs are bareer than the cliffs of more. This leave leave cliffs Then he showed me a photo. They're not as sheer as the cliffs of Mor. So it does sort of beg the question, arerenn't these just big hills that meet the sea I thought, boy, this guy must really like me. you know, We've been talking and talking for going on to two hours. At what point did you realize that there was nothing going on there? When he walked back to his house and kissed his wife It was sweet, really. No, I was happy for them, but I was like, what's happening here? Hling eyes are Oh my absolutely and they're ruggedly handsome over here. Dicks of all sizes Sorry, Kayleith It's okay, I can hear about it. I just don't like to look at him. Sure So it's hard, you know, but you know, I have to go where the park system wants me to go, Scott. I have to I'd have to meet a fellow traveler. O course. I'd have to meet someone who's willing to live that wild life with me I just think that, you know, like when you were working in the Staint Louis Arches, Yeah. you know, did anyone come on the elevator and Yeah, mostly school groups, Scott. And people who get turned around and then one time I had a guy around. Where am I? Yeah. They go, I want to be here. This is terrible One time, Scott, I did have a guy who I thought we were really connecting, but it turned out he was just having crippling vertigo. 'ause it's a very weird elevator.. Its an elevator it goes It does the full art. Yeah, you turn And you you do the second half upside down? Yeah, you know, and I got used to it I so used to it like a bet in a cave I was, Scott. Yeah. But this one fella, he was on the ground and he was reaching out for me and he said, Please, your face is a holy visage or something I think he was just going through something. He might have been on trooms I just wonder if you're moving around so much in order to escape. Whoa, Scott. I don't know if I've ever begged that question of myself. We know this guy who's searching for his lost dogs Ands He had a similar problem. He was out there going from town to town looking for. Is a ghost in the end? I don't think so. no Because he was missing for like six years and his family kinda of didn't look for him. you listened,. Yeah, Well. Oh Scott huge fan. Oh yeah.. Oh alwayss nice to meet a fan. B bit of a pisspig. I don't know what that means. I've never heard that before.n only a bit. That's disgusting. Sorry, JW I don't. I'm so sorry. Phil. I wasn't there for I was They voted for it. I wasn't there for the v. They voted for it? Yeah Disgusted. ninety percent of people voted for Pisspig. We don't know where the other ten percent comes from Just like the water from the Wicklows. Yeah So only another month here. Yeah, and then I gott to go back to Ohio and put in a request to go somewhere else But if anyone wants to come see me in Bern, where can they find you there? Wand and around Sand, this rock's part of the park. that one's not That's the Casey's land. This one, this is part of the park, careareful where you walk. Look out for bees Don't eat that rock. I haven't had to say that, but I'll add that to the list. Don't eat that rock, certainly not like a full apple ull Yeahah, that'll work You have to be able to have your voice carry across the You know, vast landscapes over here, Scott. You know they filmed Game of Thrones over here. Really Dited me. Where were you gonna say Kayla? Oh, I was gonna say, Marjorie, I don't know if you want to go out or whatever and hit the town a couple of gals, 'cause I just heard about this awesome, awesome, awesome club It's called what is it Coppers. Oh my coppers, Isn't that place kind of trash So sorry, I'm so sorry. My girl, I would love to go out with you ' you know, I don't get to come to this is my first time to Dublin besides when I flew in. And so this would be exciting to go out, but I think we need to aim higher than coppers. Higher than coppers. Yeah, maybe we need to go to like u Maybe we need to go to like, u where's that? There's nowhere you know what? You know why? because everyone we needet is right here. That's right. Anyone cool is in this room. The coolest people in Ireland are currently in this room. Other than that guy with a huge dick who hates Sabrina Carpenter Oh the whole album The whole app even taste Stven, please, please, please All right. Oh, he's awful quiet now. Sir your silence is deafening. He's longone. He's long gone. He's at coppers. Well, Marjorie, it's so great to have you here in the country. I'm so happy to be here. It's beautiful country, Scott. Yeah, and you know so much about it Yeah, I could probably tell you more. That's all right, Marjorie Gerw So much. thank you so much Aarjerie. Thank you Should I go back? to the park now Becauseuse I was asking a guy how to get back to the park and he said, All right, what you want to do is you want to go down two lanes, not three. You want to go down two lanes, not three, turn left. you know, and then it took me a while That's it. never mind. I just was wondering if I should get going already. No, no,. I mean, we are wrapping up the show. Yeah, that's what I was asking. I didn't know if I needed to get a jump start because No. Just in case Just in case to beat the crowd. because the directions I got to get back to the train station, the guy took like two hours to explain it to me. Scott I'm sorry, I'm talking to Marjorie. There's a guy. There's, There's a guy, Scott. Should I do you want this one sir. Hi, sir. Sir. Sir, what are you? Scott, he has a pillow and a comforter Sir we're in the middle of a show, sir. That's not a mummy, is it? No, he'd be much smaller P he's setting up his bed. Hes got making a little bed on the floor. He's brought out a comforter and a pillow and Sir, are you trying to sleep on the? He's got a microphone Yeah. I am the king I am the king I am the king. Why dod you walk away from his bed? Sir, we're in the middle of a show here.. I think this We're all in the middle of a show. Oh Scott, who is that? Chers . Now got he got two soda pops. H some cups. Everybody knows it's time to do the Pepsi challenge I'm making up a song for the Pepsi Challenge. How never had before. The Pepsi Challenge where you You do the Pepsi challenge before youall go to sleep. Oh, I hope. Let's see. Iope What his teeth after What's the other soda he got? I think he's got Coca Cola cl. Hi I'm sorry. yeah. Can you see us? Yeah, no. I swear, I am sorry. And where is this a this is we're in we're in Singapore No we're in Dublin, I. This is not Singapore No. Did you get off the plane? I got off the plane in Paris and I took a very weird boat ride. Oh my gosh. Sorry sucks. Yeah, no sucks. No, I'm supposed to be I'm supposed to be in Singapore I'm supposed to be in Singapore for a very important pitch meeting Okay, I think you missed it. I Oh shit. When were you supposed to be there? Do you remember was it during Tiny Dick Mth or Bndoock Saints Month It's I think tiny dick Tiny Dick monthll a Bell. Yeah. No, I was supposed to be there in twenty minutes and this is going This is going to be a problem This is gonna be a problem for sure. I'm sorry to interrupt your show. Okay, No, we're in the middle of show. What's your name, sir? What is my name Sure. I'm Ched brothers. Ched brrothers. Heers Yeah. very nice to meet you. Yeah, Nice to meet you. I'm getting fired today for sure. Yeah, that's okay. This boat ride was crazy. I took the weirdest boat ride from Varis. What made it weird A lot of weird things happening on it. Why are Why do you give a shit? Like honestly, can I need to get out of here. Okay. So I'll get my stuff. you were sleepalking, I think. Yeahah. So I was sleepwalking? Yeah. Okay. All right. I I' sleepwalking, not sleepwalking Last thing I knew, I had TylenelPM pudding in France Well, that's where they make it the best. And there's the butter. Yeah What always making me hungry Mm ll fell asleep again. You know what? Just laying there like a horse. You know what? Do you know what? think I think I think it might be you might be able to treat a sleepwalking person the same way you can approach certain bear safeties, which might be Yeah, I could do that. I know a lot of that you get get big Try to be bigger than G big and walk backwards and say, hey bear. Hey bear. Hey bear Hey bear. Heyy bear Hey bear. He Hey bear. Hey beary. Hey bear Hey bear Hey bear Hey bear. Hey He Heyet. Are you with us? Yeah. Okay. All right, it worked. Wow. I need to be I need to be in Singapore. I'm pitching a very important product in twenty minutes. Can you zoom in or Can I zoom in? I don't mean can you get there quick? I just I mean Can you can you call in? Can you conference call? I can try I can call my assistant and see if they If they can help me. I'm so sorry. I feel like an asshole. What time is it in Singapore? You know what time. I all, Scott. K mind Scat. hold on a second. let me see Barbara watch Barbara, I'm trying I woke up in Dublin. I don't know how I got here from Paris. Where? In Dublin. Dublin, Dublin Ire Ireland? No, Dublin, California. Yes. Dublin, Ireland. I one Dublin, ass H. Barbara, how do I get to Singapore? I need to be there in twenty minutes I don't know, fllap you fucking win Okay, she's not gonna help me. She's not gonna help me She has had it with you. It just happened to you the one who came up with the idea for the product we're pitching. What are you pitching? Non compression socks What do they do? They They just they're the opposite of compression socks. So they make everything looser? They're like a dress. They're like a dress, like a floppy summer dress for your foot. Don't those fall off? What's her? Don't they fall off? Yeah, that's the point As the point they come imp pacts of so many That's a that's a point. Okay right. get you guys go with your show. I will figure out a way to get to Singapore. I'm just gonna quickly get an airline ticket. Barbara What What Why Why are you giving me attitude? I pay you Okay, not enough. First of all, what is your problem? I'm trying can you get me a first class ticket to Singapore out of Dublin in the next twenty years? There's no first class tickets out of Dublin ese people wouldn't know first class. A you kidding me? No, can you please? I gotta get the non compression socks. They wanna hear the pitch. You're going forward with that one Barbara, what out of all of your cockamamy ideas. What? What am I doing? I was just in my kid's show. You were in your what? My kid had a play tonight. And you were in it What part did you You didn't tell me this What part were you in the kid show? What's the play? It was the first act of our town. They kept everything dark out Barbara, go back to the place. What? No? It's all over now, what do you need? A first class ticket? Okay, Barbara, exck. Okay. This is Id love to talk to Barbara sometime Hey, you know what? you could try Ryanir. It's only ten euro for the ticket. But then if you actually w to get on the plane, it's one thousand euros Oh wait, he's asleep again. He's asleep again. He's going back to the Pepsi challenge. He's taking the cap off. He's opening the Pepsi. Wow. Are we supposed to know which one's poring? That's the Pepsi. He's pourring the Pepsi into one cup. If he's gonna give it to us, we're gonna know which one's which. I feel like he's taking it himself. He got he brought out a bunch of cups though. It's a good point.. He's doing the chalice in her palice and' flag it with the dragon Oh over Now he's swapping the Coke and the Pepsi bottles themselves. Now he's drinking one. Man, I wish I kept track Oh, I'm gonna be able to tell no mal Oh, I don't think anyone's gonna know if he's right or wrong Yeah, You know what? we should wake him and have him start again, you know? Yeah. This time we gotta follow one of them cups. Yeah. He's nodding like he got it right. He's got it this time That's the one You know's beh caaffeine might wake him up. Oh yeah. He's behaving a little bit more like if you encountered a grizzly bear in the wild. Now, Scott. Yeah in that situation, you want to just protect your vital organs. Oh what I your vital Yeah, they eat those first. A lot of guys have told me about it. Yeah. Like if you protect your vital orger, they're like, that's too much of a hassle. That's right. That's right. Okay, he's curling up He put the blanky on. Oh' really getting settled in there. Night night Nine night check. Just picked up the mic Everybody takes some Peps and c. She sing a made up song again It's weird, I kind ofa w to do the challenge now. too. Should we do the challenge? he's asleep? You gototta drive me crazy Okay, we have four cups. It's one free we We're gonna have to J just pour one. How is this gonna work? pour One at a time. We'll close eyes and you one at pour. Wait,'s ao sh. He's Oh wit wake up bear. Wake up bear. Oh, no, now he's gonna pour it. Ch. Okay. I think Ched's. Okay. Now in charge of the Psi challenge. Okay. All right is We had to clean our home We have to close our eyes in. All right, you know, like they say at Cooper's, eyes close cups out So we're supposed to trust that he's not gonna pour it all over us. I guess I trust Ched. Okay. I'm gota trust Look him down until he gets close. I don't know why people are la. Okay, he made it into my car.. That crowd has reacted Okay. Okay, are we trying it? Can we open Okay, so we're gonna try this Canta. Yeah Do I say what it is not? No The true peepsi challenge is you say what you like. The rules are as follows G. Wait, why are you putting the caps back on? We've only tried one. Yeah we've only tried one, we need to try the other one That's right All right, we'rey whoa whoa, whoa, whoa. whooa, hey, chet. Chet, Chet. It's time to decide what you had