Final Plugs and Closing

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Visit familyilyconnectsnj d. org comm to schedule your nurse visit today back come on the back com back back bang com backang back C C C it back The best part of waking up is not dying in your sleep. Welcome to comedy Bang Bang. Hmm, Thank you to TV's Robbie. TV's Robbie. I wonder which Robbie it is. I'm trying to think of every TV show I've ever watched. And who would be a Robbie on it? Robbie Robertson Was he on TV He wass in that movie Ab u All those bands singing And Martin's Corsese hanging out, but I don't remember any other Robbie Robby Rist, maybe and other parts of the body. Welcome to comomedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Ochran. Sh. Comeing up a little later. we have a Trader Joe's cash year Wow, we also have a concerned citizen. So this is a dynamite lineu here. But We also have A major star in A block. Oh dear God, don't introduce me that way. A major fucking star. When do they get here She is one of our greatest friends. I'm trying to remember if she's entering the Th timers Club or the the timers. It is the Th Timers Club. You entered the T timimers Club last. I so I believe so. also quite Elderly. Yes. The reason she's able to enter the Three Timers Club is because she is an elderly woman and she's been around for so long. Since before podcasting. You were born the day before podcast started. nineteen ninety one. That's right, and you're so old now. You've had a few trips in a time machine, you know,een hundred. You went back and killed Hitler I wish I could have said that. A man. Can imagine? It's not too late When would you do? Would you do it as a baby? it would be uncomfortable doing it as a baby. It'd be great if I had done it as a baby because what a great story to tell at a cocktail party. That's true. but I think two lies and a truth or two truths in lie or whatever. That's why you want to play it? I think I would wait until he was just a teenager. He got the first like bursts of that weird mustache coming out. and I would just say like, boom I thought you meant when I was a baby. Oh, you wanted to do when you were a baby. As a baby. Oh, that would be great. Get rid of full adult Hitler I'd like to see you pull that off. honestly I really would too. and I feelar like in style. This might be an animated show. Y. a baby that goes back in time and kills bad people. Can we mail this to the WGA right now? wouldes copyright. Damn it missed out. No, no, you're in there. Oh, I'm in there. Yay. You're doing craft service. Well, she is the star. of the incredible show, The fourour seasons, secondecond season of which Out on Netflix may twenty eighth And we cannot wait for it. The first season was so great. You know her from of course, Reno nine hundred and eleven, the state. Is it nine eleven or is it nine hundred eleven? It It's both things, but the show itself is nine hundred eleven. Okay, I asked Tom this on our very first episode. Yeah. he took umbrids with. We were once introduced on a radio show really early on when the show first started and they said, welcome to the cast of Reno nine hundred eleven But this didn't the show start in the nineties I't we did the pilot in two thousand. Oh, okay. nobody saw it until two thousand three. Oh, okay, so we came out in two thousand three. So that would be that would be an unfortunate reference. It was a really unfortunate. I was gonna to say it repairs if it comes if it, you know came out before nine eleven was definitely closer on the tip of the tongue than nine hundred eleven at that point. Please welcome to the Th timers Cub, in fact, Carrie Kenny Silver. Hello. Hi, and I appreciate. I love such a sweet introduction to say the star of the fourour seasons. I don't feel like I'm the star. I feel like it's a very an en ensemble. It's about as ensemble as you can get. Sure do Brighter than everyone else, but hey, it is a truly ensemble piece. I just happen to be sitting in this chair. That's right That happened. Yeah, they're not here. You're That's right. Yeah. Where are you? Coleman Domingo? Coleman. I'll tell you where he is. He's probably either on the Orient Express, This just happened. What's now? On the red carpet of the Oscars. was on was He wasving murders on both of these places. Let's hope so Who do you want to see murdered at the Oscars?. That's another great cartoon. Yes. Murder at the Oscar. You taking out the casting directors? You don't deserve this But I'm a baby. Yes. Oh yeah, well you're a baby who talks though I'm assuming, becausecause otherwise this cartoon is gonna be a little boring. Yeah We don't wanna have to read anything. Yeah, exactly. like translating your pacifier squeaks. No, nobody reads anymore. You're really thinking about Maggie Simpson right now, shooting mister Burns Who isn't? Who isn't at this at this stage in our lives had Carry the four seasons, season two That's that's confusing already right? Or is it awesome I mean, I wish it was season four. It was always season four. I don't wish I mean, I listen, I'll do this show till I die Yeah. so it so coming big bang. I appreciate that. Well Yes. There she comes for the three hundred and fifty eighth time. Karen Kennedy. How old am I gonna be at that point? But no, you're gonna do the four seasons until you die or until your character dies because O til Netflix kills me. That Oh yeah,et off camera or on camera. Either, we don't know. What if Netflix started a new Faces of deeath kind of thing where they killed the stars of their own show? Yeah, like voted off the island, but literally off the plan. Yes, exactly But speaking of characters dying, In season two, you're all wrestling with a major character death from season one. I don't even remember it. who was I don'tarely remember it either. Do you think Steve Carerell, does he sign I've asked this before, does he sign ono a show saying, I'll do it as long as I can die relatively quickly as long as you canill me. I don't think he's die on Roooster. Well I don't think they can do that I mean, listen, d time' a child. D they just call it Roooster's family after not like Valerie's family? Or they just replace him with a different actor No explanation at all U, But of course, Steve Carerell is no longer on the show and that was dealt with in season one. Now suddenly I'm reading you have a different Steve On the show, Stephven Pasqual Oh, they told you that. I mean, it's in the trades here. I have variety to the These trades Stephven Pasqual, have you heard him sing? I haven't, I want to. He's well a wonderful Broadway actor. Sweet Jesus It's just one of those things where it's like, you don't get to be handsome And a great actor and you can sing. I like It's annoying.. It's unfair He of course we know Stephven Pasqual from He played the villainous Mark Ferermman on the People versus OJ. He was phenomenal in that. Dude, I loved that show. It was great because you got perfect. You got David Schwimmer saying J Jice. Very memable U But he's he's a wonderful Broadway actor. He's been in so much stuff like the Good Wife and so much, so much else. And now is he I don't know if you can spoil any of this stuff. Is he your loving? I doubt I can spoil anything. Yeah. I mean, I'm just I'm so definitely afraid of anything happening. You know, it's like you I I doubt I can spoil anything so I'm gonna tell you everything. Oh Would that be just horrible? And then I get a call on the way home from Netflix. Hey,y, Hey carebear. We have the secret love on you. branded on you But you're dead. The four seeasons is about a bunch of couples who vacation together and you see them in every season meaneting TV season, right? So you see them in pilot season, season. They're all auditioning. In that case, we would be gone because there is no more pilot season. that's the real throwback. It's a group of friends who've been friends for twenty five years and some even longer because they went to college together and so forth. And my marriage to Steve Carerell of twenty three, twenty one years falls apart because he decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore. and then He dies. And in the meantime, he has fallen in love with someone else, someone much younger than me And we find out at the end of season one that she is pregnant. That's right. now is she part of the group now is absolutely part of the group. Speaking of Broadway excellence, Erica Henningon just finished a run of Just in Time with Jonathan Groff. Just in Time is weird because it's the beginning of Justin Timberlake. Okay You know what I mean? So it's shouldt use that for marketing. I feel I feel I went to it and I was like Okay, here comes Justin Timberlake. H he comes and I went back and read the poster and they cut it off right at the Yeah Yeah. Yeah. that's didid you get your money back? Oh yeah. Oh good. I got everyone's money back. I rallied everyone. This isn't fair. Yeah. No my Godd. I went to see Tina Fe and I went to see her in that place I mean, I felt like I have no no reason, no justification to be proud. I have nothing to do with her. Is it fun to see a younger person do well in your life He buddy, all of anyone I love, any of my friend's family, I just was so I really wanted to just stand up in the middle and be like, I know her. And buddy, you know. Yeah. I was like, is she looking at us? Can she see us? She was not looking at. Did she ever wink at you during the show? Aly it's a lot of lights can see Yeah, she's very much apart. And so what happens with this relationship now? you know, Anne is a real caretaker And her daughter is off of college now and she no longer has a husband to take care of. And now you have this baby that is somewhat tangentially related family family to you, yeah.. So we don't explore any of that. Okay takes place on Mars. So are you killing Martians there? Just me. Okay And it's just a movement Pace Well, and then, you know, you mentioned Tina Feay, Tina Fay is in this. Who else is in the com? Tina Fay iss not just in this. Tina Fay is this. She's one obviously created it. obbviously co createdy Wigfield and playang Fisher U And she, of course is in it. The star of it, there's Will Forte Delicious. Yeah. Coleman Domingo Delicious Mar not Calvanni. Not delicious. Delicious. Ohious. Delicious Italian. Oh, Mamaia It'sazi Pgo Mario. It's a me Mario. is He's a him Mario. Wait a second, have you've been doing Dolingo, wouldn't that be great? That's their first thing. You're like this is borderline racist. And and Erica Henningon and myself. And it is literal heaven just to be our text had to turn my phone off because the text thad is is on fire. Really, you guys are on a hasas it lasted the entire From the second we met Really? From the second we met. What's the kind of stuff that you text each other Like memes or or like's this dumb asshole about certain dumb assoles in the. mostostly sexting. It's mostly M mostly sexing. Wowan emojis. let me be clear. I send a lot of nudes.. No one has responded yet, but and only two of them have blocked me. Oh, okay So I consider that like a lively text thread Well this, I mean, the four seasons, it's it's a huge it was it was is it the biggest thing you've ever been a part of I mean, no shade to to the state in Reno nine. I mean, listen, I love and will always do this I hate the word alt comedy or sort of, you know, this this world that I began in nineteen eighty eight back in the st state. And I will always love that. and I will always work with those guys every day of my life. As long as it fits into your schedule, which is now too busy O Tuesays and Thursdays I have like twenty minutes And I've got a bag of wigs. And so many stick on mustaches. Yes I will always do that. that's a big part of me, but a part of me that I never got to explore because the industry kind of decides, you know, okay, you're already mainstam on the lazy river of this and you're doing well and and some why would my agents or anybody, you know, but when I saw Ny Nash hop out of Reno and hop into It just the most beautiful gritty. Which? Is it nine hundred eleven? I can't remember.'s nine hundred eleven is a thing. Right was something else. Reno nine hundred eleven exclamation. No, but did she go to the other nine hundred and eleven show? Oh, no, no, no, that was which one did she was Joe Lrglio? Joe Tuglio went from Reno nine hundred eleven to just nine hundred eleven.. It's like I'm ditching the Reno. Yeah. Now which one is is Nisi Nashon? She's on the Oh, the rookie, right? O She's on everything.s now she's on everything I watched Nisi go from Reno nine hundred one to make this leap into O world of acting that I had always wanted to be a part of, which is like real Raw. Re emotion. Pty, real stuff life stuff, right? And I always wanted to be part of that, but I thought That's not for me. But when I saw her do that, I thought, maybe it's not too late O she played Denise Deeee Ottley in G getting O. Oley. Yes. And that was sort of like the first time people saw like, oh, she's an actressight. And I mean, the funny thing is We're all You know, you look at comedians everyveryone's a good actor when you're a comedian because not only have do you have to be real, but you have to be funny, which is harder. Right. And we and a lot of us, you know, some of it comes from dark stuff. I appreciate you roping me into this. A lot of us, not you., okay. No, no, no, not you because your life has been perfect and you let us all know that every day And but I just I just felt this like Oh We have a twinge of like, oh, well, that'll never happen. And then suddenly you're in one of the biggest shows on Netflix doing crying scenes and everything. Yeah. And we were number one in the world on Netflix. In the world. I mean, what is that? That's incredible. and how did you cry? Did you think of like something sad? like when you like fell down and scuffed your knee That's exactly right. Wow. I thought about the time that I fell down and I had scuffed my knee. Oh God, here it comes. Oh my God, it's happening again. Oh what an incredible agy. I came and I fell down. And then my knee everyveryone has a different process. Are there any Jeremy Strong's on set where it's Oh God, no. No, no. In fact, I'll tell you, that's why this show works. Tina Tracy Lang and Sherry Thomas, the brilliant casting director and of course, all the people in Netflix Tinum in particular made a major point of We are of a certain age, okay? Most of us there are in our mid fifties We've done we've all had wonderful careers. We have at this point, let's have a nice time. Yes. Let's cast people that are. Koutina hurts' herhilly accent.illy. I do Philly accent. Pel It has an umlao in it and an exantagu Let's cast people that are kind. Let's cast people that are going to get F to hang out with. Fun to hang out with, low maintenance that are gonna get along immediately because I'll tell you day one I was seated at a table and they said, Okaykay, so this is Steve Carerell, Steve, this is Carrie. you've been married twenty one years, okay? This is Tina meeting her for the first time. This is your, you know, best friend of twenty four years. This is will fourteen and action. And so you really have to have a group that is, you know, sort of based in that original world of theater or world of let's play, lets let's give and take There cannot be any Divas. There cannot be anyone who um isn't isn't really willing to just be a member of An ensemble. That's right. Other than Will Forte, of course, we've talked about this with Darcy Carden, who's just nightmare. Yeah, nightmare. But But other than him Yeah, I mean, and everyone it shows every performances. It shows in his performances. Exactly. Very unlikable. More champagne, mister Forte, of course. that's the if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on set U Well, the four seeasons is out there now a second first season, obviously, everyone can catch up. before they before I watch season two. And I'll tell you season one is Four hours Yong It That that can't be right It's is it really eight episodes of half hour apiece? That's correct, Sir I've more time doing so many other things. Well not on TikTok necessarily, but I've seen you spend that much time. All right. I've been on TikTok just today. Right. No way I came in. I was like, Scott, we were supposed to start an hour ago and you're like, No, I'm like I have three more minutes. I'm three hours of fif. Figuring out how to make sour dough. I don't know what people do. But yeah, so yeah, it's a fun, quick watch also The first season is based on The beginning anyway, The movie by Alan Alda from nineteen eighty one that who was in the actual series as well. pllays my father in this. And who always pops up in every New York Times crossword? Be everyone loves an Alan. Well, just ALDA just fits so many things. Yeah. And he's a New Yorker. Yeah. But it's a great show and everyone should check out a rewatch or watch season one and then season two is gonna be out in so many surprises in store, so many places you're gonna go I would imagine surpris. Can you say what the cities are You guys you guys do more Locations than the white Lotus does. they only do one a season. Yeah. And then meananwhile, you guys are out here like, o, we're at Pennsylvania for one. I see what you're doing. You're trying to get try to let it out.rying to ye, ye just All right, Dayt in Ohio. I shouldn't have said it. Oh Godness I shouldn't have said it. The whole season takes place in a basement in Dayton. basement Well, the four seasons let's check it out. I got I would be remiss if I didn't ask you about the state documentary which you hyped up last year and has not come out yet. What's going on with it? I lost it. I can't I can not find it. Was it in like a bag and you left inack what happen You were all out drinking and I was like, you guys all take it And they're like, I don't think that's a good idea. because you're like the new all with members of the state. One of you has to have it at all times. So I got on my scooter after about fifteen shots and I had one of those mesh bags openen holes.ot on a scooter. And it was on a thumb drive. I know U No, it's still happening smart ass. I mean, it it premiered at a festival, right? It premiered at the Tribecca Film Festival last year and then I don't know if you know how it all works, but these festivals now comes the bargaining part. Oh this is in It's denial. Anger, bargaining Resentment. Resentment.ar Dabdra And then murder. I think we have a guest named Darbara coming up a little later. by the way. Everybody knows Darbora. Darbarra. Well, that's great. I want to see it. I want It's gonna to happen. It is gonna to happen. Do they deal with did I ask you this last time? they Do they deal with Michay and Black almost killing several members in the car? You know what's strange? There's so much in the document. happened that we don't even get to the point Half of the state almost died in a horrific accident. This is true. I know. It's like we miss we there are so many things that are not in there because there's so It should be like a ten part series or something like that, but there's probably enough footage. There's plenty of footage. Yeah. We never' plenty of footage. I missed your show, which by the way, in that one Rolling Stone article about best comedies Yeah shows of came in at number one and you were number two in Tom Lennon Never let me forget it, but he made a t shirt of it I think. He wanted me to wear it today, But where were we gonna say? Oh yeah, we never filmed anything. And you guys were like had cameras and everything. You know, I think it's because that's the way we started. David Wayne's dad had a video camera. So when we were in college, We wanted to be part of this show that it was John Stewart's first time on television and it was a show called You wrote it, You watchatch it. He was the host of it.. And we heard that the show was happening. and David Wayne's sister's ex boyfriend was working on the show. and he was telling David about it. and David said, Well, we could do the sketches for it. And MTV was like, whoo are you? Like what you're eighteen years like no thank you And so we just we did it anyway. We filmed them. and we David brought them over and said, here's these if you want them. And they were like, o Great. So they hired us and we became the sketch group that did. And so that That show you wrote it, You watch it became later The John Stewart showow and then became the state. It's such a mixture of first of all, you Pximity you guys were in New York where all of this was happening. And so that's one thing that people have to do is like move to a place where things are happening sometimes But also just just go, you know, gumption, I guess for lack of a better word. if I could use something from the nineteen ten s U But it just you guys were go getters and or go getter And you went out there and tried to do it and it all worked out. and look at you now. I love your positive it' been on. I would say we were Like annoy egotistical assholes. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's implied. I don't know where we had the confidence that we thought, well, of course we're going to be on TV We work together forever. now kind of thirty eight years later. It's incredible. Well what what incred And now you're here in the three timers club on comedy bangang this is like D to die We'll see if we can make that happen. U But first you got to kill Hitler, of course, as a baby. But well Carry Kenny Silver, the four seasons, everyone check it out and be on the lookout for the state documententary We're going to take a break When we come back, we have a Trader Joe's cashier, we also have someone named Darbara. I hyped it up kind of earlier, but we're gonna be right back with more Care Kenny Silver More comomedy Bang bang. We'll be right back after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, Squarespace It's your all in one platform for building a standout online presence Whether you're launching something new or leveling up your business, you can secure your domain, create a polished website, share what you have to offer and get paid all in one place. I hate going to a separate place to get paid. Now you can get paid right there at Squarespace. Squarespace makes it easy to book gigs, sell services and get paid with built in scheduling, invoicing, and email tools. 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We're back Carriry Kenny Silver is here of course of the four seasons. Can you give us anything? What season does it start with this time? Because did it it ended in winter last time If I' afraid of getting in trouble. you gotta G me one thing. Is it Is it grads and dads? Is it Christmas time? Oh what's happening you just nailed it. It is it's a leeal Grads and dads but at Christmas time so I don't know I don't know who graduated a semester late or No it's it is it is the next season. of the four seasons. tried to be very general, very general. Because it ended in winter, didn't it? Yeah first season, so it's spring Okay, I I'm holding your feet to the fire on this are This really hurts and if Ted Serandos is mad at me for giving up anything, just know that my feet are now burned. He's not paying attention to this. Is he out there paying attention to this? It is surprising because I worked with him briefly and and the things he knows about He's phenomenal. he's one of the nosiest heads of these companies. let's talk about this for a real life thing He is such a fan. He's a fan of nineties C comedy guy that I am always surprised every time I see him and he brings up a Viva variety reference or a state reference The very first Netflix original The comedians of comedy was Zach and Brian. God bless God bless. And that's probably why he's still you know, the real deal because he's not he's not some faker that wants to wants to I mean, I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with network people who are like half my age who are like, o I loved you in That show that you did the where you guys were all the police? The band, the police? You're sting, right? Yeah. You are blonde right now. You could pull off a sting biopic, I think. Put it out there, baby. Let's manifest this. I am ready to stretch this instrument. Yeah, I mean, we say that meaning tantric sex for three hours No that I cannot do. Oh, okay I can barely do the like key Gong three minute old lady thing that you see on the internet. I have no idea what you're talking about. Is this a sex thing or is this? Possibly. So I have not gotten off on it yet. It's a lot of just ar rotation But'll get there. We'll get there. Well, the four seasons, everyone check out season two. We need to get to our next guest. you ever shop at Trader Joe' All the time Yeah. big fan. it Is that a west of the Mississippi thing or do they have them out in the east Coast? I have no idea. It's such a good question. I've never seen one out in the wild other than in California, but if people don't know, it it's a grocery store We have a cashier for Trader Joe's here. Please welcome Xander Hollyfield. Hey, what's happen,' Scott I'm Zander. I'm going to be helping you out today. Sorry, whyy'd you laugh before you said that? Awesome, you find everything you need? Oh, I mean, this is my studio. Right,ight, but did you find everything you need? did your microphone Yeah found What religion do you think is the one true religion, by the way I just just asking. Oh J. do you have any any theories about this? I've never really thought about it. I haven't thought about it either. I'm going gonna be helping you out today, by the way. Oh, hey, yeah, I just saw. Yeah say the same thing.. How how How's your Monday going so So far so good. Yeah That's great, great. Yeah. Any other planans for the rest of your day? Why do I feel like you're looking through my clothes right now? I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable that right away. notad It's not bad ray goggles that you have on that you got from the back of a comic book. Yeah, sorry. some guys were passing these around the break room though. They're a g ass, man. Everyone here loves working here To answer your question, I think there's lot of overlap in a lot of the religions There is probably a kernel of truth in all of this. Yeah, wow, what a great thoughtful answer. How much money do you make before and after taxes Before and after. Just J ask sururprisingly more after. That's interesting. Wow, so you're cheating somehow That's great. That's fantastic. Yes, But let's get back to my taxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. please. Well, hey, I'm just happy that you're making money, you know, it's great. Yeah. I make about forty thousand dollars here over the course of one calendar year. just to offer you a little bit. What about a fisal year? Do you mind me Fiscal year God if we're going quarter by quarter, I hate to break it down like that. Let me text my accountant real quick.'re about ten thousand do a quarter, mayaybe? Yeah, probably about ten k a quarterow Wow, so you're good at math, huh? I mean, you know, just I think basic math.ure four to forty thousand It's pretty. Hey, byy the way, just you know, keep an eye out the roasted garlic raw salmon hummus has been recalled. So just I just want to it's still out on the shelf. It's we have we can't get all the shelves. I keep trying to they I keep trying to find all the shelves that have it on it. Sander, if you want that sounds Really dangerous. I would be happy to stand at your station Really? And just tell people, it's closed while you run around and grab That. 'cause it someone could die. Are you willing to ring the bell? Why do they ring the bell again? Rring the bell E exact change. It happens for a lot of it's either exact change or it's sort of our version of code hulah hoop. Do you watch the pit I have, but I haven't seen this I haven't rapped about it yet, if that's what you're asking. So if someone dies in the store, you ring the bell. Code hula hoop is in the pit is when a nurse or a doctor is assaulted by a patient. So if one of you were to assault me, I would ring the bell as loud as I possibly could just so that cashiers could come and save my life. Okay, so we'd want to make sure that he can't get to the bell. do thing But that's a little pro tip for you guys. If you want to kill me dead without anyone intervening Keep my hands away from the big bell. Okay, God. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How often does that happen in a Trader Joe's? 'cause you guys more than you think. Yeah, you I mean, Kari, you know you shop at Trader Joe's As have I, like you guys have a certain thing and I'm seeing it from you. you're like very personable. Ver personable But in a sort of performative manner. I'm sorry that you think it's performative. For me, it's completely genuine. Thanks for the apology. I accept welcome. Oh my God, great mean, you're the kind of guy I would rent a room to. Oh would you? Totally. I don't need to know anything else about you. No well, you shouldn't have to. I mean, everyone should be this curious about other people, right? This is how you form connection and real community I've always been really curious just because I've only lived in human society for the last six years. So I'm still like catching up, you know what I mean?ait Are you AI? No, no, wow. that would be amazing if I was AI. Do you think AI will kill us all by the way? I mean, it's gotta take over there. Yeah, certainly. But I wanna backtrack just a little bit. Yeah. Six years ago is is you' been living within human society? Yeah, yeah. Well, before that, I was I was living in the woods by myself like, well, have you seen Nel? Are you familiar with Nell? You know, Scott hasn't seen but I would love for you to come on talk about Nell. that'd be great. I just added it to the list, realized it was a serious admission, but well if you don't know Nell when Jodie Foster was a weird woman who lived in the woods all alone and had her own language. Was she weird because she did that or did she do that because she was weird? Well, I'd have to rew watchatch it to be sure. Okay, well, you'll come on the show. I don't know I don't know if she was abandoned in the woods because she was weird and then grew up. She was abandoned Well I don't really remember. Anyway, how did she get there? We don't know, but we don't know, but she was weird and she lived in the woods. Be she had no frame of reference for human society. She didn't grow up with our language. Sometimes two things can be true, Sot. true. Yeah. She didn our laws. Exactly. And so it's a similar thing for me. I grew up in the woods by myself and I was only found by a team of linguistic researchers about six years ago. And so I've just been playing catch up on getting to know everything about people in humanity. you're so good at it. only consideringars. Yeah. Did you have your own made up language that you spoke? Yeah. I sure did. I had to. I mean, I had to find a way to talk to the squirrels and the bugs and everything. Sure canan we hear a little bit? Well certainly, I mean, it sound a little bit like blah blah, you did that. I mean, there's a lot of just phetic sounds ot a very tongue basedate. But you knew what each word meant in terms of certainly, of course. So there's no chance that like six years ago something happened and You changed your name and to and you told us weird lie about growing up in the woods. I can't imagine that would be the case. No have nothing to hide. Like if we were to To do like a Google image search on you. like a reverse image search. Like if you took a picture of me and put that in the Google search bars pictures of me came up. would any new stories come up? No way, man. Absolutely not. Okay, how do you think you're gonna die, by the way? For me, I think it's gonna be a car accident. I feel certain it'll be a car In the car or you're gonna be walking in a car. I really don't know. I don't even drive recklessly. I just feel deep in my bones that I will car accident Yeah, I don't know. What do you guys will. Yeah, I think I mean, I don't know. I'm aiming for old age, but I'm not sure it's gonna get there quick. I mean I'm not really thinking what I'm just thinking about is could you please not put that big roast on top of my grapes? Oh, sorry because I'm crushing the grapes because I put this whole ham Yeah But I N not that I don't love talking about death at checkout Yeah with six people behind me and I'm late for a brunch.ure. Oh, you're late for you like brunch, huh? What What are your thoughts on Holland days? It's a little heavy isn't it U You know, the eggs of it all can can the eggs of it all They can lead to infection. So if you ever have food poisoning, that's one of the first questions they ask is if you had de Oh my gosh. And I just heard that if you eat eggs too often, you could develop an allergy. Two eggs or just something else? No, no, too many eggs in a row too many days What are we developing the allergy to too the eggs too the eggs Yeah. And I just heard that our lemon ginger Yuzu brown jumbo eggs have listeria. So do not get thosevoid that. Are there any I feel like this is a time to ask. Are there any other recalls because they already we've talked about for maybe three minutes. you brought up two that are still tr. Yeah. let me check my little card here. Okaykay Of course the Griere wasabi pretzel nuggets, thoseose have been recalled. Those have been bad for a while. Those have been bad for a while. Still in the store though. Still in the store. They're all over we move shelves constantly. No, I've noticed It's interesting because and we asked earlier how often we get assaulted. It's almost it's almost daily because so often People come in looking for one specific thing, nowhere to be found. Yeah. And yet something that is physically dangerous to them to consume is available everywhere. And also culturally inappropriate. you still have all the Trader Jose stuff out here, I would say. Yeah What what do you think about us subdividing different ethnic cuisine into different names? Like Trader Ming was sort of the Asian food for a long time. It's pretty problematic, isn't it? I mean, I have no opinion of it because I don't want anyone going back and looking at these episodes for any of that guys for sure ye. You don't want anyone reverse image searching for you sping any old content. If I could just make a suggestion to you, you guys spendume a good amount of time hiding for people who don't know about this maybe on the East coast or with a sh or not. There is a hidden little rabbit I think that is hidden in the store and if I don't know about it. you find it, this is something fun to do with the kids or just or yourself yourself lib we can do it. It's a little treasure. a little stuffed animal. Okay. And when you get to check out, you say I found it tellell them where you found it, thenen they ring the little bell. That's one of that's one thir years either someone's been assaulted, someone's been raped, or they' found a bunny. It's really high steaks.. And then they give you like a little candy. Wow. Oh, they give you a kid what c. Well we could give you some of our lemon cayenne peanut butter cups We cut out the chocolate. It's just lemon Its just lemon peanut butter. Yes.ite a prize. You got try. But if you spent less time maybe Finding new places to hide the buny and more times finding the foods that have been recalled that could actually kill someone. That's interesting, but I would hate to kill my childli sense of wonder. You know what I mean? And so to hide that throughout the store keeps a wonderful game alive in a way that is just more important to me than whether somebody gets sick eating weird eggs. How often are you doing this during the day? Are you doing this multiple times a day? or is hiding the thing? Yeah. I'm constantly hiding it I probably move it every twenty minutes. Oh, wow. 'cause I just get sick. if you're doing a shop that's longer than twenty minutes. Right. And if you see me sprinting around the floor going, where am I gonna put this thing? You're saying this out loud. Yeah. Well, I'll talk to anyone. I'll talk to anyone at any time for any length of time that they'll talk to me. Yeah. Getting back to the whole thing that happened six years ago, supposedly. With the fake language Were you a virgin up until six years oro I was a virgin in the human sense of So you had sex with No, no, no, I had sex with the ground. With the ground. Yeah Daltin Wilcock style. I don't know. Did you ever see him do any of? Oh, yeah, R right. He's a cowboy poone who had sex with the hole in the desert? Yeah. I had sex with a mossy bank in New York You guys have a lot in common. Check him out. Who hasn't? Okay. Nice. You've had sex with a bit ofoss in., of course, not me I've heard tell, you know, from my grandparents G it. That's the wonderful side of the tree that you can have sex with, right? The mossy side. God, let me tell you, it is really welcoming and But do not stick your dick in a woodpecker hole. This is something my great grandmother taught me. That's great I have yet to have to worry about it, but I do tell all of my friends. Right. Yeah, it's a good tip So now you have never, just just to be totally clear about your story line clear Yeah. If I were to do this reverse Google image search of you, no new wouldn't No news stories would come up of you prior to six years or so ago having sex with animals. No, I don't see why they would. It doesn't make any sense that you've never had sex with animals. never had sex with the animals. Certainly not in Edam Claw, Washington, one of the capitals of East Gality in North America Okay. All right, Hey, I'll take you at your workd. Hey, speaking to which, do you think you could survive in a prison environment? I don't know if I could. I'm just asking people. I mean, it depends on which kind of prison environment you club. Maybe the fancy ones. Yeah. I mean, you'd have to join one of those gangs, right? I'd have trouble doing that. I don't wantanna throw with the Aryan nation, but given my racial background being Caucasian, I feel like I'd be obligated to. Yeah, yeah. It's a good point okay there. I really haven't given as much thought as you have, apparently. I know well it's a lot to think about. Well, with all that time in the woods, you had a lot of time to think. I sure did. Yeah. Hey, do you think that our dreams reveal deep truths about the mysterious nature of things around us that we can't fully understand? I think that we transport ourselves into alternate dimensions during our dreams where this stuff is actually happening and vice . you've been listening to telepathy tapes not to I have not, but I've heard of Yeah, who believe. I mean, you listen music for them T to comedy bang bang, then you could listen to O. Yes, of course Or just pause it right now. 'causeuse I saw a doc. And when I say pause, I mean stop it. That's J justust stop it. Beause I saw a documentary a few years after I got out of the woods called For All Mkind that was interviewing all the Apollo astronauts and one of them said he had gone to sleep on the moon, right? He slept in the capsule on the mooon. and he said he had a long, vivid dream where he met an older version of himself on the surface of the moon. Oh wow. And I feel like by having a dream in outer space, he was completely untethered from our gravity and our frames of reference and he was able to access the truth, which is maybe we've been on the moon this whole time. I don't know. I don't know. alone. Yeah Yeahah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah. What's your living situation like, Do you try to replicate what it was like? You know how when people got back from the armed service overseas like in Iraq or whatever they They tend to sleep on the ground out because they can't with like a loaded gun in their mouth Yeah. do that with a loaded gun or I keep it unloaded. but and it's a cap gun. It's fun. It's a fun cap gun. Just give you That fun. I went to the children's section of IKEA when I got my first apartment in North Hollywood and they have all sorts of stuff to make a room Like a child's room look like the woods, like big fake leaves and different trees and you know, tree stumps as a stool and stuff. So I did buy some of that for my apartment. Yeah. And it makes you feel better. Yeah, it does. It makes me feel more at home the way I would have been in the mysterious woods in which I definitely grew up. Yeah. So you put some moss in there to have sex with. Child's dentist's waing room. Yeah. Yeah, it is sort of like. Do you get a toy every time you visitited? I try to give myself A nice we have lots of artisan lollipops here at Trader Joe's. Yeah, there's some there's some root beer, rootabbega roots. The two roots. the three roots. because there's beet root in it. And those are delicious lollipops.. Have what happens when you have someone over, a significant other ave you been dated? Hre you dated anyone? Your lips to God's ears and I hope the true one true God. we didn't really figure out who he was, but I would love to start dating, but it's very hard. I have a lot of trouble relating to people and people think I come on fast. And you're not having sex with animals currently? No. Why would I do that? Do how it feel good? Do you have any in your home currently? Do I have animals in my home? Yeah I'm not allowed to, but I I would like to at some point to adopt Yeah. I'm not No follow up questions Great. I'd love to not answer any follow up questions. I think that's fine. So that's fantastic for me. Yeah, what are we nightline Im Yeah sixty minutes might be eating lunch right now. Yeah. That's right. Yeahah. they might be eating a delicious tarragon chicken salad wrap, which have been recalled. Oh Oh no. sounds like everything has been recalled. A lot of stuff has been recalled. I don't know what's going on with our commissary, but nothing good apparently. so you know, we just got do the best we can. Yeah Wow. So do you have any hopes and dreams? I mean, you can't stay at Trader Joe's forever, right? see what I mean? You actually can, There's a lot of people who were here until they're very elderly. I see a lot of people with long scraggly beards there Yeah and alsogg potytails. Yeah. if you look around, there's a lot of cashiers who seem to have a great deal of physical trouble lifting your bag into the carart And so you can I'm hoping to work here at least until I'm not able to do that. But I just love I love how forgiving the place is like I'm shocked to see that you're not wearing any shoes. No, they allow me not to wear shoes because they understand the alternative manner in which I grew up. So as long as I'm not in the back preparing free samples, I'm allowed to wander the floor just barefoot like And you've never had sex with an animal on the floor of Titer jills, right? No, of course not. It wouldn't make sense. I'd need a key in the access code to the security system to get it after dark. I mean, that'd be a lot of responsibility Beuse you only have sex with animals after dark No, I don't have sex period. okay. try to find a girlfriend. That rabbit that you are often running around with saying, where do I put it where do I put it I What are youking about When you say Where do I put it? And what do you do with it Like, are you in charge of it? Yeah, I'm the one who is in charge of the little rabbit and I do take it home But it's just I sleep with it next to the loaded capgun because cute. It's nothing untoward happens. Okay. Speaking of forgiving, who's the creative artist whose work you still enjoy even though there's overwhelming evidence that they've committed unspeakable crimes For me, it's gotta be Michael Jackson, right? I mean look he's got some bangersxious. Yeah. But it's an interesting question. It truly is an interesting question. I do love Beat it. We gotta love that song. I mean my God, do you know that's Billy Jean is Belania Trump's favorite song, That was in that documentary. Oh, you saw the documentary. Yeah, yeah. go to the theater to see it? Yeah, I did. I go to the theater to see everything just becausecause I'm so fascinated by moving images becausecause I didn'tve until. I mean, movies Yeahah, when they first came out in the twenties or whatever, like Lumiere and all like that Like the tra pulling into the station So boring.. So like anything must be just fascinating. Oh it's unbelievable. Wh'd you vote for, by the way speaking to Melania I voted for her. right? I voted for Milani. You too. I haven't found anyone else who's wrote in Milani across the board.very position I did not vote for Trump, but I prayed for Melania. That's so interesting. Yeah. What an interesting bifcation Yeah. That's a wonderful bumper sticker, by the way. A veryery confusing bumper sticker. Al veryy contentious in my household. Yeah.. Speaking out in the wild, you ever hope to get back there? You ever like you must miss your friends. I would love to, you know, obviously had a lot of friends out in the woods, but I've sort of torn between the two worlds, right? Like I love the quiet peieace of the beautiful pastoral scenes in nature away from the hubub of the city. but I also love slapping on a Hawaiian shirt and throwing a bunch of ginger snaps into the hot tote bag. So I don't know where to go. You ever think about combining your two interests and like slapping on a Hawaiian shirt and going out in the woods and having sex with animals Whoa, whoa whoa, Scott. please. How would that even work likeike I just wear a Hawaiian shirt on top and nothing on bottom, like Woody the Poo on vacation? It doesn't make sense. Almost like you pictured it yourself. Oh no, no, no. That's al like you done it and have pictures of. Shut the fuck up! Hey,y,y sorry I don't come to my own stack smoke like this are you're Rader Joe's employee. Yeah, Okay we're ringing the bell. That's all right. Okay.ry. I'llalm down. That's okay. That's okay Zander Holyfield. My my gosh. Yeah. Xander Holyfield. Yeahah. Yeah. And and you were given that name when you were I society I picked it Yeah. How you picked. Was it a combination of two W Xander just sounded like a guy who would work at Trader Joe's And then And then you did a pun on Eander Holyfield on who Well, Xander, look, We're running out of time on this segment. No Re? We arebec you stick around. I don't have to Oh my God, we have a concerned citizen coming up. If I don't get to talk to a concerned citizen, I think my fucking heart will explode I don't want that to happen. Okay, good because you know, Care here is gonna die after today's episode.. So yeah, be in the car accident that kills me. This I mean, anything is possible. Thats wow. All right, well let's I'll tell you one thing, I am not going hiking with you. Oh, okay, damn. that makes me sense I don't think you're at risk I think you just have to watch. Okay. No it's in rk to watch it. All right, we're gonna to take a break here. When we come back, we're gonna have more with Zander Holllyfield, more Carry Kenny, Silver and a concerned citizen We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this.. Your outdoor space should feel like you, right? You know, maybe you want a fire pit outside. Maybe you want a ice sculpture outside. I don't know that that's possible, but a fire pit certainly is, as well as outdoor seating, grills, major appliances, storage, patio lighting, rugs, decor Well, Wayfair is your one stop shop for home. You can shop with Wayfair Verified your shortcut to the good stuff. Their team of product specialists vets everything by hand, using a ten point inspection, one point for every finger, testing things like quality of materials, functionality and features, and even how long it takes to build And with over twenty million five star reviews, you can hear from real customers before you buy. 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Go to quinces dot com slash bang bang for free shipping on your order and three hundred sixty five day returns. Now available by the way in Canada too. That is QuNcE dot com slash bang bang for free shipping and three hundred sixty five day returns Quince d. com slash bang bang The panic that sets in right before you book travel. Hands sweat, teeth grind. Stomach flips seen flight prices going up up and away from your budget. One finger hovers. The button taunts, confirm now. Beach thoughts, bank thoughts, Brian thoughts. Will he pay you back this time? Group chat blows up. Did you book it? Did you book it? travel with flexible payment plans from a firm on expxedia. Payment options with a firm are subject to eligibility. See lending terms at a firm dot com slash disclosures Comedy bang bang, we're back. Car Kenny Silver here is here is here is here. I am here, here, here here. And I said is here for four times for the four seasons in celebration of the second season of which it is there a plan to stop after four like, you know what I mean? O is it that Because it would be great to have like eight seasons right second season of the four seasons. Should it be like sixty minutes where it just keeps going or There's always seasons. And there's always sixty minutes correspondence. They step in when all of your characters die. L I'm Leslie Stahall and welcome to the four seasons. Well, I don't know if that's gonna happen, but But we also have Xander Holllyfield here. Yeah, Hey, what's going Trader Joees? That's right. Hey, which sixty minutes correspondent do you think would give you the wettest kiss? Steve Croft? Is Croft.ve Croft, but he has such thin little lips. So it doesn't add up That's why it m.. I'm gonna write that down as a pop culture phrase I should learn. Yeah You should learn it How did you know it was a pop culture phrase? Yeah? Well, just ' it sounded like, you know, like a catchphrase, Like I've been catching up on a lot of catch phrasees. Like What are your favorites? Well, there's Bazinga, of course. Yeah we like that. What you talking about Willis? Yeah? Don't have a cow man, maybe? I'm still thinking about Mackgie Simpson shooting, mister Ber. Oh my god, I've stopped thinking about it. likeue Jeans. Remberood Smithers was black for the first season or something I mean, he definitely had some color to but I. Why do I think they chang that? There must have been an internal conversation about it. That seems disturbing. Yeah, you think we'll ever get the real behind the scenes skinny about that? I don't know. If any of the people who work out the Spsons come in, I'll definitely ask them. Okay definitely yeah. If you see Matt Selman out there in the in the checkout lines G Mahal. I'll talk his you off. All right. Well, we need to get to her know that's true.. She's a concerned citizen and her name is Darbara. I talked about this earlier. Please welcome to the show, Darbara Meatbag. Hi, Scott. Thanks for having me. It's my pleasure Socome it's a welcome to have you, of course, as we always say, with people here on this show. This is of course, Zander Hollyfield. We have Karen Kenny Silver Hi. Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I'm thrilled to meet specifically Scott and Carrie. I will say Sander scared me a little bit. I get that all the time. I understand that. Yeah. but Care and I are very non threatening. Yeah Yeah yeah, this side ofans from the nineties. Right. The gentlest form of GX. Yes, exactly. How are you It's so wonderful to meet you. I'm not good, Scott. I'm so sorry to hear that, Darbor. What's going on? Last night, I had an experience that scared me to tears Oh, okay. Well is that what you're here to talk about or are you concerned about something different? Well, it all is all it's all kind of wrapped up in one. Okay, well let's start with what happened last night and we'll work our way backwards. All time I'd love to tell you. Okay, what do you Last night I went to the mall I had to buy a top A classic top with a few buttons hits right at the hip, Beautiful fit. And was this for an occasion or this was J just my day to day life. Soday through Friday I liked to wear a classic top. So you were out of tops. You said you had to buy it. I had to buy it. Okay. I singed a top on the stove and I had to get it on placement. Do doing what if you don't mind me asking Oh, just cooking my six egg breakfast. sixix egg. not Just for you the six eggs? Yes, just for me. Okay. Yeah, that's like Rocky style. I mean, I mean, he wasn't cooking them and he was running up a bunch of steps. Six eggs is a classic breakfast. You get a protein boost and then you're on with it. You think Rocky,, if they were to make a new one, he would run up the steps and see the statue of himself and kind of wink at himself If that happened, Scott, I would not be happy. That is simply too weird. It is too weird. I agree. I agree, Darbara. Oh Now I'm also not convinced it hasn't happened in one of those movies. In fact, I'm almost certain that it did. is I believe it possibly could one ory thaking of it from me actually watching the movies Well, Darbara, so you were out you're out buying a top at the mall. I was buying a top at the mall. O at least exchanging it, you had to get a No, I had to get a new one. You had to get I had to get a new top. and after I bought my top, I was I was absolutely parched and I went Court. Okay And I went to get a soda pop. Okay. And I'll tell you what happened at the machine. What happened? There's a machine instead of one of the actual You were in the food court. went You went to a machine to go get f. I went to the yes, for a fountain soda to get a classic Coca Cola. It's a fountain soda in a machine Well, that that'ss You would call that a found. wouldn't you? I mean, sure it's not like a phosphate from nineteen thirty three.. That's. Xander shut the fuck up. I'm trying to talk to Darbro. he gs as good as he gets thing I thought I was opting into a normal experience at the soda Fountain. Right. And instead they changed it Free style machine. And the young man in front of me at the Coke f style machine. Tred himself a cup, listen to this. Okay Scott Carre, you'll get this ander, I don't know about you. I don't know to keep up. I don't know a cke festyle. It's a machine where you can mix and match any flavor you want. up to a hundred plus Combination I don't have time for that. disgust. It's like the way an old soda fountain thing used to look, but it has a big touch screen and you could scroll through a million menus to find like way too many flavors. Yeah, That's not an knowning if you're standing behind not at all. You've probably seen them at the movie theater. Yeah, I see them all the time and I get every soda. Oh I bet that's. And you haven't had sex with any of these machines, right? No, no. How'd it work? There's not even a convenient waste high port He thought this out. Okay. so just pissed me off. So what was what pissed you off about it? He was doing too many flavors? Listen to what this young man got. Okay. He filled his cup with ice. Okay. Okay. That's pretty s.ac. So far, so good. Then he adds cherry vanilla Coke. Yeah I'm going Okay, borderline too many flavors. And then he tops it off With a little bit of root beer. Yeah, that's what. That's a little strange. It doesn't make me mad, but it's weird. It made me fear. Itssca. I wouldn't even say wears. It scared you. Just be normal. Just be normal. Are you some sort of soda fountain Karen or something? What I just you know what? If I need to be, I will. I just think I'm sick of people getting too creative these days. Just go to the machine, get a normal soda. That's thing done. If they wanted people to drink cherry vanilla Coke with a little bit of root beer on top, they would create the flavor that tastes like that, right?? Or we just stick to the classics. What do you drink when you're at the fountain I'm drinking regular Coke, no ice. No ice. Are you from like. I just like the way it comes straight from the factory. Factory default settings, we're getting pure Coke, no ice. You're just raw dogging Coke out there. Absolutely. I'm drinking eight to ten regular Cokes a day. And do you do it in a cup or you just your hands Now that is just too weird. I'm using a cug. What about a straw A straw Of course I'm using a straw. Not a silly straw If I saw the next time I see a silly straw, I'm gonna shoot it with a gun. C I am sick of this I think you might miss because it's all twisty and turn. shoot a bunch of times, Scott. Can I ask you a question? Is this the only thing that gets you this fired up? L in the rest of your life are you just pretty? Is everything else because it sounds like you have a pretty privileged life this is getting you upset. I'm getting upset left and right, you guys. That's why I'm here to just spread the word let's just Be normal guy. What are some of the other things you've seen out there that get you riled up? Don't even get me started. I'd love to get you started. Yeah yeah. Yeah. On my way here, I drove here. I parked outside. Guess what I saw? I hope you parked outside. what did you see outside? I don't want you driving right into my studio. It beond I parked inside. And I found that very weird. assistantor As assistant skateboard. That's. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah sa cruiser. Okay, I mean, it's not weird if you're in ZZ topop. Very small car Scott. It's a little small very weird. Yeah. I just don't get why people aren't doing normal stuff anymore. Get a four door sedan and be done with it. Is that what you drive a four door sedan? Yes, classic size, fits in a parking spot, No problem. Don't need more, Don't want less. Seems like you would be upset at bigger cars taking up more spaces, but you're upset at a PT cruiser being smaller and having a lot of room to open your car door next to. Next time I see aord I fifty I'm gonna shoot it with a gun, Scott. Yeah, I really don't think you should be doing that. I feel like this is the third or fourth time you said I'm going to shoot it with a gun. Do you sleep with a loaded gun by your pillow? I sleep with it nearby. Yes. what about these Is a cat gun or Yeah. I don't know what that is. a stuffed rabbit, Is that next to your pillow at all? I just know that you were so upset with Xander earlier, but it seems like you maybe have more in common than you originally thought. Yeah connect with this gentleman at all. That's okay, I'll connect with the next person. I sleep very normally. I'm in a full size bed, two pillows. I have a fitted sheet and then a sheet on top, and then I have a quilt. And if I need a little extra warmth, I get an extra blanket. Okay. That's it. That's all you need. No decorative pillows no, just the classics. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, look, honestly, your life sounds great. I'm not sure why you're so obsessed I agree. I just I have seen how scary it can get when people get too creative and I need to be What do you mean Well, all right, I wasn't gonna share. G there go there,le. Please. Go off, quQeen. This is where we let it all out Yes, girl. Yes. E snapping. eleven years ago. I did MDMA at an Imagine Dragons concert and I saw stuff that stcared me to tears. This is the crux of it. Really? cr. Men with their shirts off, women playing the drums, it just was so Crazy I don't think his drummer is female I saw I swear to God, I saw a woman pat in her lap and it was as if she was playing the drums. And this is on the smoke and Mirrors tour? Yes. Back in twenty fifteen. This was the smmoke and Mirrors tour. That's right. The start date was april twelfth of twenty fifteen. it ended in twenty sixteen. Yeah, we were there God and I were there. Yeah of course. I went to every show I met Wait minute. you only got out of the wood six years ago. I mean, I would have liked to. Okay. That makes sense I just you guys, when you're on MDMA at an immagine Dragons concert, it gets freaky and I cannot go back there. Yeah What made you do MDMA? I mean, if you don't mind me asking, it sounds like that's not the most normal choice I've ever. Were you listening to some of the singles from that record, smoke and mirrors like I Bet My lifeife or Monster or gold or shots Yes, I was listening to Mster and Golden Shantter. Just those ones. You know, I chose to do MDMA that day because I was under the impression that it was a listerine strip. Oh We've made that mistake. The old listerine strip. Yeah The minute those were introduced by Listerine, I was like, this is dangerous to. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. So you're not a drug taker normally The only drug I take are the normal ones. Like what are we talking about? I'm taking ambien. Okay. E day. I'm taking ambien on a regular basis. That's normal. Yeah. I'm taking a Cleritin in the morning. Okay And then on occasion as needed borrowing a Xanx from a neighbor anzanic n. I don't know if that's a great combo, but hey, yeah as need's normal ocasion' allowed to take a Xaneax. That's normal. That's completely normal. I would actually say maybe you should take more of them. Sure. And maybe some other psychotropics or psychotropics There's a lot of mushrooms that grow in the woods that can help calm you down and show you You're not seing These arerader Joe's, are you? those mushrooms? No, they've been fully recalled. Yeah, we're not allowed. Yeah the pizzas, Iice the mushroom pizza. Yeah we the pilicybid pizza. Yes, my family and I unfortunately had a night with that We were just gonna have a delicious right Trader Joe's. Yeah. and we have a mushroom pizza God. Yeah. All three of us. Did it scare you to tears No, it was a pretty fun night actually. You see the same face Yeah, we also sa threeree of you. Wow. some face That proves that it's the real face of God. What' it look like He was likeee justust like a regular dude. Okay. Regular dude and what's regular do you? Like a Mormon. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, sure. yeah. Like setting Short haircut. Yeah, there we go. And he was preaching the Word of God, the original Word of God. Sure Joseph Joseph Exactly Weird guy with two first names, right? I mean, you think it's weird, but until you' til you've seen like Conrad, it should be Conrad Bane, where it's like clear delineation between first name, last name. I don't know. Iig it If you're not a Crad Bane fan, listen, Jesus is a weird name too. That's I mean I was forth thoughtought. Yeah you know. Jesus Christ? Sounds like something I would shout when I hit my thumb with a hammer. Think about it. Yeah, exactly. And he was a carpenter. I don't wna get too deep, but yeah. backack to Mormonism Okay, I don't think we have time for that. Let's talk to Darbor though a bit more. So these are the things are that are out there pissing you off. What do you Can I ask what your life is like? What do you do for a living? Well I work at an Ashley home furniture store where I sell couches, chairs and the occasional table Why tableles only occasionally. N Not as much deand. only need one table per house, Scott. That's just normal. That a good point. six or eight chairs per table. Exactly. You're gonna sell more chairs. You know what's pissing me off at the Ashley Home Furniture store. What's going on? Sometimes I'm seeing people sit down on these chairs Backwards Oh Oh, like substitutute Oh like eighties photo JC Penny photo sty.ike someone who's about to tell you that the original rapper was William Shakespeare. Yeah. Mark Marin on one of his special style If I see another person sitting backwards in a chair, I'm shooting that chair with a gun. Okay.re Regular. By the way, there's been a rash of shootings here in the local Los Angeles area that had been unsolved. I just wanted to check. if we reverse image search your gun Wh anded serial number. What are we gonna find? Look, people are acting crazy these days. Yeah, they are. I hesitate to ask you this, miss Meatbag, but what are your opinions on teenagers today in Gen Alpha I forgot that was her last name. I actually told me R I don't think I even said my last name. I said it I think it was said. I said. But I mean, you know, teenagers aren't living maybe what you might consider a normal life, right? Yeah. And it makes me mad It makes me really mad. Is it the way they're dressing, the way they're acting? big pants. I'm seeing the biggest pants you've ever seen, Syt. I then some of them are wearing small pants too. Yeah That's true. Short pants, long pants. Have a pair of pants that perfectly skims the body. What's so wrong with that? Yeah Yeah. My pants should be a regulation length, right? I should all have to wear like jumpsuits, right Next time to see a pair of cargo shorts. Do you wantan to know what Pan, carargo pants. Do you w to know what I'm gonna do? What are you gonna? I think I know you're gonna shoot the pants With a gun, Scott. And hope to miss the leg? O Yes, of course. I'm shooting the pantshoot the pants. I I never shoot J. I think she's speaking metaphorically that shooting things with a gun, right? Is that true? No, that's incorrect, Carrie. I'm going to shoot it with a gun I was trying to give you it out. Hurger pants are the worst invention since the ergonomic keyboard. back in like two thousand two and stuff. they were comfy. But they didn't look great on you. They didn't look great on No, no, no, not even then When are you seeing me in my cargo pants back in the ear send. I'll send you some. You got some yeah. That was in two thousand two you were wearing these pants? Maybe, mightight have been the nineties. I honestly it all blends together with me with my fashion. I think I was still at urban outfitters until maybe two thousand four. I just had to look over to make sure you weren't wearing them now. I know. these do have some I'd love to take alllive green. Listen, I own a pair of cargo pants,. I have to come clean I'm wearing cargo shorts right now. No, not You stand Holyfield. It's just because I need the extra pockets to hold all my Trader Joe' stuff, like my box cutter and my butterfly knife andang Oh my they go That's when I think of those cargo shorts. She just a perfect shot. Can I say it hit me at all, but the shorts are decimated. For you to have a silencer on your gun and then be saying the word bang is such a strange combination But also the fact that Xander found it funny. just Everything makes you happy. Well It's just exciting to be alive, isn't it? It really truly, truly is. Wow Well, I hope you're not out there. I mean it sounds like you're an excellent and it looks like you're an excellent shot. I mean, look at those cargo shorts. I I'm an incredible shot. and guess what? born that way? Really? literally I have never not Perfectly hit. Would you like to star and Carry anice's new show about a little baby? a baby who kills Hitler as an adult? Oh my gosh Well, I'd love to H youacted before? I mean, I'm willing to give you an offer if I was You have at least one credit on IMDB. I was in a commercial for the Ashley Home Furniture store one time. I stood outside the store and I waved. Okay. I mean, that's not think I think let's Booker. Yeah, can you wave right now just so we can see how it looks It ld makes a sound. Loud wave. he loud w. I'm an incredible wave. didid they have to ADR what was happening outside there? Yes. Yeah, they had to redo all the audio because my wave was just so so loud. Yeah might do you think that's gonna be an issue for us Carry on? I know I hear a wave like that and I think just normal. I You you know what I mean? I sorry sorry I do say waving a gun around. Yeah.' I just don't want to make her angry, so we'll just tell that she's bed. Exactly in a minute. Yeah. I don't get angry if everything's normal Okay we we're normal.'re just two We'orm comedians from the nineties who are writing a show about a bab killing Hitler. What could be more normal than that? Yeah. Also, neither of us are wearing cargo pants. Yeah And I like that. Yeah. I like this side of the table. Xander, I'm still not sure. Why? I'm just a guy who grew up in the woods and nothing else and was wearing cargo shorts, but now he iss wearing nothing. Tattered cargo shorts. Yeah yeah Yeah, they've all fallen to pieces. I know They're nude from the waist down, almost crazy. God, everyone has to see everything. Yeah now you're wearing the filthy calloused feet. Yeah. When you have the Hawaiian shirt on and you're erect, who, hey, Scott, please please Fish the sentence, Zander. I don't know if I'm allowed dude. Okay. Well, Darbara, I really hope that you're not out there shooting everyone, but I don't want to and I won't. If people can just behaved know. you're shooting though, We're on track for a go series here whenever your hiatus for four seasons is occurring here I'm ready and I've got a whole thing of colored pencils and lots of printer paper. And we're gonna to do the opposite of four seasons where everyone we hire has to be an adal withith guns and problem actors. So you're in. So yeah That sounds fabulous. Okay. just try to try to wave a little less. I don't know if it's the I have naturally cupped hands. She's got that sort of meaty hands I think for her name. Hands of yours. Yeah. Are you able to pick things up U I pick things up yes. Now I'm looking at you and I'm not totally convinced that you're not putting those underneath the soda fountain and just drinking out of those. Yeah. Okay, fine Fine. I use my hands to drink out of, okay? But everyone's allowed to do one thing a little bit off. Give everyone else a little grace too. No, only I get the grace. All right, Darbarra. Well look, we're running out of time, unfortunately on this show. We only have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs 'ause I got the puy baby? Yes, I do. So I got the puy baby. I say good to. And the songs are good up. haveave a fart. But I'm also know to be a liar s Dump in the plug bag of s. Sap's almost over Fark. Oh, all right, well that's oops I farted in the plug bag by Fatty Matdy needes to Eat. Thank you to Fattyy Matdty needs to Eat. If you have a plug theme, head over to CBBworld dot com slash plugs. You can find everything you want. You can upload your plug, opening themes, you can find all the stems for the plug bag closing remixes, everything you need over there. All right, what are we plug in here? Care, what have we got here seeason two of the four seasons on Netflix. please, please, please watch it. It's such a delight. All right. And nothing else is there most of your day, right? That Well it took we're done. So we're not shooting as we're as it you're not shooting. It's not show right now. It's not. I'm not in this. I sure hope not because ' I'm only. I'm not wearing lip gloss. Your character is known for your decorative lip gloss. This is so true. It's what people tune in for. It's tune in TV Netflix on four seasons. you can peat me in Margot's Got money troubles and Yes, and you're also you play a psychic in the upcoming K Dotery and the celebrity sex Pass. That's right. and we'll be doing L hopefully an episode with D it again John Han some other yeah,ps. I mean, that's too many people All right, enough. And a film called Wishful Thinking with May Hawk and F Stranger Things. Yeah. Th strange, honestly. Did you see that?tt You don't watch other Netflix shows? I No, no, I just didn't watch it. Well here's the thing. There are lots of shows that I would love to see. Yeah. but they're so big and there's so many seasons that I feel like I need to wait till something happens that I get out of dunge. I need to wait till I' in a horrific skiing accident. Yes. And I'm laid up with like my arms and casts and my legsil the show filming the show and then all I have all day long to watch those are too strange.'s demons stuff Oh. Starbry I heard you were working on a script called Normal Things. Yep Is it a parody? Or is it just like an nal? No, it's about a group of young people all with the same beautiful haircut. Okay Ser length. S layers Even the man shoulderength. Yes, shoulder length. No layers and they're all wearing these wonderful tops that fit just right Wow. And they all go to bed at a decent hour. Okay. So Zander, you have your ear to the ground when it comes to upcoming ements. Pus she's clutching this script in her hand. it felt like she was trying to get it out there. No my hands just