Plugs and Closing

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Rated A plus by the Better Business Bureau, and earning thousands of five star trust pilot reviews, ONDeck delivers funding you can count on Apply in mininutes at OndDeck d. comot Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtic Bank. OndDeck does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval angang backang comang back bang comy p bang com C C There's a snake in my boot and a be in my bonnet. There's another snake in my pants and you should be on it. Welcome to comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Dr. Good Times for that catchphrase submission. I I don't want to say that every week. But thank you for the submission. The hunt continues for an appropriate catchphrase. mayaybe for the one thousandth episode. Boy, that would be great if we could hit. perfect catchphrase by then. That would be amazing. Welcome to comomedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Ockerman. We have an exceptional show. Coming up a little later, we have a local citizen We have a hotelier, as the French say Hotelier. And we also, let's just get to our first guest. why whyy are we wasting time talking about the future when we could be talking about the present and what a present it is. She is entering the exclusive O Ters cllub on comedy Bang Bang A very exclusive club. lookook, we've talked about it before. Almost everyone in the world in the known universe is in the Zero Timers Club ninety nine point nine percent of the people on this earth who have ever lived Who will ever live are in the Zero Timers Club? Yeah, is one tim mean, I'm already not invited back U No, to be honest, you don't want to be invited back because you want to be like prior guests like Ben Stiller or Donald Glover, you w want to get so busy that you'd never return any of my messages. Yeah, I hope that for me. But you're not there yet. No, that's okay. I'm taking my time. It's a journey Show business and life itself is a journey. and life is also like a box of chocolates, like that oddball for scump. Yeah, like The chocolates that give you diarrhea. What are the Yes. What Yeah Laxatives. Life is like a box of laxatives. Are there intentional chocolates that give you diarrhea, or is that just a prank I think that's just the flavor I like them in. Oh, I see. Yeah.'s Your laxatives or your chocolates. Both. I don't like to separate the two. Yes, it's like a Reesese's peeanut butter cup. It's like an adult edible. Thank you, yes She is entering the One Ters Club. She is a standup comedian. She is, I believe, are you still a podcaster? Yeah, I mean, I go in and out, but yeah, today that'll L my favorite burger. Yeah. And she is also a cast member Of the new major motion picture, Jackass bestest and Last, which comes out this Friday. Please welcome to the One Timererss Club and into the show, Rachel Wolfson. Hi. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank. at your house. Thank you. No one ever thanks me for being here. I really appreciate it I think you deserve it. But thank you as well for occupying the same space as us and it's a pleasure to meet you. We've never met before. No, this is our first time. And I hope not our last, although I hope for your sake, you're never on the show again And yes, I hope for all of our skakes. But let's make the most of your appearance while you're here. Yeah Tell me a little bit about yourself because my impression of you knowowing your career now for A number of years, but from before the previous Jackass movie, which was called Jackass Forever, if I'm not mistaken. You're a stand up who then got ono these jackass movies. Yeah. But then I was reading today something about how you were a reporter or I don't know, a blockchain I don't even know what it was. I don't know what any of these things are. Oh I love this question There's actually another Rachel Wolfson out there. So it's not you. No, it is not me. occupying show business with another person with the same name? Well it's not me, but I do respond to her messages I get about coming on ain podcast. So what can you tell us about it then? The Bitcoin? Yeah. You know, I don't know much about it. I think it's a munday laundering scheme. I think it is. yeah. And I love laundry And I love money, so why? It's terrible when you put your money in like a pair of jeans though and you wash it and it comes out kind of ruined. I've done that, but with a vape and the vape still works and I googled, you're actually not supposed to smoke it after. Why is that? I think it's bad for your lungs, but the high is still good And because the detergent has entered the vape or detergent. Maybe there's like a heat there's like some science. Oh yeah, the heat and melts the plastic Yeah, something like that. But it still works, you know, and I have a weird twitch in my eye sometimes, but that was Okay, so now what can you tell me about what I've read about you? What is about you and what is about the other Rachel Wolfson? Okay. so let's let's go down what I sort of know about you. Yeah. let's guess which one's real. Yes. whichich one's about them, which one's about you? The real Rachel Wolfson versus One of the Rachel Wolfson Apparently no longer smokes weed. for health reasons. Is that her or is that you? Well, that could be her. It was also me. There was at one point where I stopped smoking weed And yet you have returned. Yes, I've come back this time, It's personal. Rachel smokes Weed partart two. Starring Fst G This is all based on riffs we were doing. sorry if got started a No one will know what we're talking about. But it's perfect. It all makes sense. No, I'm back now. I came back You're back in the weed smoking groove. Yes, I'm back. And I'm proud to be back. Because when I quit for a year, I just wanted to see if I could do it and I did it. But I also picked up drinking and smoking cigarettes So Yeah. I mean, you just exchanged one for the other. So and weed is probably better Yeah is weed is definitely better, but I was like, what if I quit doing one vice for something that's worse. Usually people do the opposite. Right, exactly. So you and how was that year for you? Was it? Well, I learned after quitting weed that life's not better But it's certainly not worse Okay, so it's about the same. Yeah. Wonderful. All right, so that is you. Yeah. Now I also learned that one of the Rachel Wolfsons has a parent who was a judge who sentenced my good friend OJ Simpson to thirty years in jail. Yes, my mother, yes, that's the right one. She was the judge in OJ's case where a jury She's not Judgeito. everyone want know she is Judgeito. and how tell you people have asked is your mom Judito? She is. But but now U she she's like, you know, like Forest Gum too. The first one it's Lance Ito and then the second one, it's my mom. Right. R. So but the jury was the one who said that he Yes was actually guilty. She only did the sentencing. She was just like and she' sort of the judge is like the ringmaster in a j. Yeah. she's like the host of the show. the audience that determines how it The Colbert or the letterman or the Carson of the courtroom. Totally. Yeah. That's a great song title. The Carson of the courourtroom. Yes, I like the Carson of cour the Colbert Cars in the courtroom. It's yeah, I like this. Yeah. So she so She took a look at the jury it's all blame everything on the jury. The jury said this the aud. And she just looked at her guidelines and said, okay, OJ, you have to go to jail for thirty, whatever years. Well, I believe it was nine to thirty three. and I don't think he served the whole time because he got out and became a contributing resident of Las Vegas That's right, Yes. And now he hosts a show for us over on CB. I saw that. That's very cool. It is cool. Yeah he's sort of rehabbing his rep. I don't really I didn't pay attention to him in the nineties, so I don't really know what was going on with him. but Oh yeah, no, there's a naked gun Naked gun. o okay, because I've heard of guns. Yeah U but naked ones. Yeah. Yeah, undressed. Yeah Interesting. So were did you get to go to the trials? Did you get to I went to There was a bail hearing. I think he got pulled in because he had not posted bail or something in between. I think he was like, he didn't pay his bail bondsman and apparently you're not allowed to do that. You gott to pay your bail bondsmen if you're if they're going to put a bail. It's a nice thing to do. Yeah, it's gentlemanly. Right. And so I think he it was just a bad day. I think got lost in the mail. And so my mom just invited him back to the court. Oh, how nice? And she just to clear all of it up. Yeah, she just, you know he RSVP like definitely will attend? He did. He had no choice. And when he got there You know, my mom just basically said politely that he's being very ignorant and arrogant. Oh really? Is that in the court transcripts? And you were there watching this? Yeah. Wow. I was there. How did he take that? Did he start putting on any gloves? You know, I think he fell in love Really? He just kind of sat there and took it Wow. Yeah, you think your mom and him had some sort of spark there. And will they won't they I think I mean, he I think he thought he had he had a stab at it, but I don't Pun definitely not intended. No no, no, but yeah, I think that yeah, I think guilty And pun not intended that eer No, I yeah, you know, like sometimes just things don't work out. Well that's fun though, having a parent who's a judge. Did you get to go in there every once in a while and watch executions and stuff like that? Like who exactly is it fun for? U I would think it would be fun for you, but perhaps not all of the participants who are sitting across from them. But yeah, I guess it's fun to like watch you know, your mom judge people. I is it now that I'm thinking about it though to like Having one of my parents yelling at me all day at home and then having to go to their work where they're yelling at people as well. Are you serious? I've never felt more in common with someone than OJ. Simpson in my life. Like he's sitting there and my mom's kind of you know saying you're ignorant. You're arrogant, you don't listen and you need to go to your room. And I was like, yeah get it. Now you're not when she orders you to go to your room, it's not a nine by eleven jail cell. No, it's a little bit bigger, but there is no TV. That's something that It may as well be a jail cell Yeah, they have TV in jail. They do in the common room or but not in I mean, not in the actual cells, do you? I don't know. I think they they at least have like Netflix. So say okay, they have some good streaming options. Yeah, no, not me. My parents didn't put a TV in my room and think it's because they didn't want to keep taking it in and out when they would punish me. Because because that was they would say we're gonna take away your privileges. Right. And that meant they were right to vote. and watching MTV and those two things matter. Those are very, especially with the Rock the Vote campaign, those are so inexorably tied together. No, it really shaped me. Yeah. So were you a rebellious mischievous child Yeah, I had a mullet Shit. And buck tea Whoa. Yeah. And the buck teeth were on your mouth, I'm presuming. or in your mouth. That's where they grew. Yeah ye. So I'm trying to imagine you can I draw this maybe might have looked like. So you had short hair up on top. Yeah Have you seen the Buckies logo? Wh's this now? The Buck' logo. Who's Bucky'? Buck's is like a gas station in Texas. It's have you heard Oaha? I have heard ofa It's like it's like the Wua of the South and the mascot is Buckies, I'm pretty sure he's the owner Um And founder and' sorry I'm not really I think he's likeraw. I think he's like a chipmunk or something. Anyways, you got to go. Okay, did you look anything like this? Oh yeah, deffinitely with the mustache too. Well I was trying to draw the buck teeth and looking like really what I look like. I'll show you the picture. I'll show you my picture at the end. And I chose that haircut Did you really? didid you see it on someone else and you were? So growing up, my mom kept my hair short on purpose.. And I just thought that maybe she just thought maybe they wouldn't kidnap me because I just was ugly. You're too identifiable. U usually the kidnappers they take peopleeople with long hair and then they cut the hair. Well, it's more like it's more like she has short hair, it's goofy and she doesn't shut up. And I forget why we even started talking about this Oh, I remember. You wanted to know about my career. Oh right.. Right. So then suddenly you're in Jackass. Yeah. I mean, it all led it all led there, really. You are in these jackass movies You've been in the last one that came out I believe three years ago or two years ago, and when did this one come out? Who even knows? Yeah, what is time. And now you're in something called Jackass Best and Lgh. Yeah, which is the current Jackass movie, number five by my count And I mean, these must be just a ball to make. there're if you haven't seen these Jackass movies, a group of very interesting individuals How would you describe Jackass to someone like, let's say an alien comes to Earth Okay And you're in charge of explaining. How macro do I need to go? Like I have to explain the United States and other countries in war. Do I show ' them like clips of Hitler first? Just assume that they've seen all the clips of Hitler. Okay and now move on to to education Okay. well, u Okaykay, there's a group of people who are u Desensitized to violence, they've desensitized themselves so much so that they enjoy placing a camera in a location and then watching each other humummled in the nuts by various animals and machines. Do I have to explain nuts to them? You know, you might just say D's nuts they know D's nuts. They don't know what Yeah. They know also youruranus. Oh, they do. o yeah, because they've flown around it a you. That's what you had to say. You know. I just say Uuranus. They put stuff up their anus, they put stuff of uranus That's exactly how I explained it to my mom Okay, so your mom didn't know what these were. Be she's a judge and she's out there like giving people who do this kind of stuff hard times. Well, it's funny becausecause growing up, her name is Jackie Glass and growing up her nickname was Jackass Glass And so history She manifested this. So do you think when you said, hey, I'm in this movie Jackass, did you say Is this my biopin? Yeah, she was like, oh, wow, I didn't know they were shooting my life. And I was like, listen, I explained to her all these things, you know, and the guys they put stuff up their butt and p each other in the dick and and I told her I was going to go for it And so was she I always find that interesting with parents who are kind of sound to me a little straight laced. I don't know, you haven't told me whether they are or not, but they're more straight than laced. Okay God. Yeah. Okay. But my parents were more laced, R. you know, are did they go see the movie and were they like? That was incredible. Okay. so I took them to the red carpet and I loved watching my parents watch Jackass, which I think is the first movie they've ever seen. I think my dad first movie firstv it is the first movie, but also the first Jackass movie. And I think my dad What if they thought all movies were like Jackass after this? They like go see Pinocchio and they're like, where were all the stunts? I'm telling you they were so disappointed in the last Batman movie And the avatar and my dad was like, whereere's Steve O? So so yeah, I loved watching them watch Jackass. And I asked my dad, how what did you think of it? And he's like, you know, it kept my attention the whole time. I didn't fall asleep These are the kind of compliments that our parents give us. Oh yeah that fuel the fire of rage within certain artists. My dad, the one thing he wants me to do is give him Johnny Knovill's number and it's the one thing I have over my dad that I'll never. Why does he Johnny Knoxvill's number? Well, one, the latest thing he wants from him is he wants his sweater the green the red sweater. Okay. And so for my dad's birthday, this lady in his office had her son Photoshop, not AI Photoshop my dad in Knoxville's red. sweater. So I have to find a Knoxville sweater in a double XL. So he doesn't want the actual sweater that Knoxville was wearing. No he wants a o he wants that particular He wants one that would fit him meaninging style. He wants that one I don't go around wanting people's clothes that I meet. You know what I mean? That seems like an odd request. is like go buy your own fucking sweater. I mean, it's not really that odd, but maybe because he's my dad I just don't I just don't think it'll look as honestly, I don't know. Maybe it will look good if Maybe it. So do you think he watched Jack Hasson was like Not really paying attention to the mayhem but was just like that sweater would look good on. That is one thousand percent what happens That is a thousand percent. Wow So now you're in the new one and you did some fairly crazy stuff in the last one you were stung by scorpions You get the call, Hey, we're doing another one. and purportedly by the title, I would say this is the last one, perhaps. mean That's what they say. But Motley Crew kept touring after their fight. I mean yeah, sublime with Rome, like Yeah, exactly. Um So I love that that's an expression like when in Rome. Yeah you know, sublime with Rome. Yeah. But so you get you get the call, Hey, we're doing another Yeah Do you start feeling like,, I gott to psych myself up for this or are you just excited from the jump or how do you feel about it I'm already psyched. I've been pyched like Yeah from the jump. I'm just like I I, you know, I said, I want to go hard in this movie. I didn't know what this movie was going to be at the time. I didn't I didn't know like That it was gonna to be footage, old footage and new. So Okay, I don't know anything. Yeah, it's like old fo some of their old footage and then like we shot five days of new stuff And you know, I don't know what goes in or whatnot, but I definitely I got hurt And this one You know, I got hurt in the last the last one. But did you get hurt permanently? likeike, you know how Johnny Knoville talks about how was it the bull who Yeah No in permanently damaged to Well when I first A Penis Yeah I want to say the word. You keep interrupting me, Penis. Okaykay Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Thankk you Oh yeah, you guys don't play the game. Sorry about that. I hate when I interrupt someone when they say penis. Thank you very much. So I audition to be the bull Oh, in that original one in this Alver and forever. So you were pitching like hey, Johnny, what if you went back into the bull ring And I was the bull. Did you want to dress as a bull or you just wanted to act like a bull? All of it All All the bullshit. And let me just head bututt you in the genitals Yeah. So they're like, you know, we could have you do that or you could just be the girl. And I was like, you know, I would love to play the girl just one time. So yeah. And then, you know, I kind of had to navigate what that meant because they've never Um, they've never really like been around one Yeah, it seems like that. Yeah. I think it seems to me like Johnny maybe has had sex with a few of them, but the other guys, I don't know if they've been around any of them. Yeah I don't know because he's been married a few times. I don't know about his career, but I will say that I kind of just had to navigate Yeah, hey, these are the different body parts that I have that you don't have. Right. Probably the first day is sh. I was like, what can I bring to set? And I brought my period because I got it on the first day. Did you really? Yeah, so I was the only one bleeding before the stunts. And then does that and this is a serious question. didid that factor into any of the stunts of like, oh, I don't think Rachel can do this particular one because the sharks will eat. Yes, exactly. Yeah. No, that didn't factor in at all, in fact Yeah I think it helped. Yeah. I was in my ludial phase. I don't know what that means, but so this so this one you're going harder, you say you got hurts, but you seem fine right now. I mean, like, yeah,'m like I'm physically fine. But but do mentally do you feel a toll after these shoot days where you're just like, oh my God that I'm going to have nightmares about this or Yeah. Yeah, but like I've always had nightmares. Yeah, so have everyveryone has. Yeah, you don't, you know, like most people are like, o, what do you dream of? Is it rainbows and butterflies? and it's like, no, me getting tasered in the butthole. That's a dream Is that in the new movie by the way? or it might get cut out, but like I hope that one makes it. And how did they aim the taser in that particular stunt or do they do they put it in prior to the stunt? So like, you know, Aim is what is aim? It's a social construction.. Yeah, that's right. It's just something that the man invented to make police officers feel like they had a goal. Yeah. ye. exactly. Yeah Well, this, I mean, it sounds like an amazing experience for you. You shoot five days, you're in a movie, your parents go see it, and you're being tasered in the butthole Yeah. and to me they're like,, you know, what what did you hope for yourself when you were fifteen and I say, this is it. It it is right? Be in a movie. I mean this this is it's a strange way to go about it in a way, but well when I first started stand I wanted when I started standup, I was like, I want to be a comedian because I still that's I just want to do standup. I love comedy. Yeah, this was this is what I hope for, but not really because when I started standup, I never thought I would be in a movie. I just wanted to, you know disappoint my parents in a new way. and then that that's when Koxville asked me to come Audition. And what was the audition because I read it was two days. It seems to me like you do one stunt and they go like, yeah, okay. Okay, so initially I showed up. I thought it was a Jack Black movie And when I got there, why? It's Joonnny Knoville Like asking No, I'm just kidding I was say Jack. They said J I heard Jack Back though. I don't have good service by my airment. you heard the judob. Yeah you didn to do it was jack. Yeah, I was like whatever. I'll do anything at this point. And I show up and it's Jamie Lee Curtis. Johnny Knxville. That's crazy. Isn't that crazy? H you seen them? H Has she been doing Johnny Knoville for the past two movies? You've never seen them in the same room together. That's incredible. Yeah. She is an amazing talent. Yeah, they're both, you know, they they are. What a lot of people don't know is Johnny Knoville was her in the winning Freaky Friday. Yes Mhm. Yeah. How did they decide who to give the Oscar to in the Freaky Friday movies because they switch Bodies You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, that might be rough. If you give it to To Jamimie Lee Curtis, doesn't Lindsey Lohan really deserve it? Yeah That's a good point. Anyway, Jack As bestest and last is out this Friday U And I'm excited to see what happens to you. I always enjoy the Jackass movies. our friend L Lance Bangs is I love Lance is out there usually throwing up in them which Yeah you love. Yeah, like that, you know, it's when Lance Bangs throws up It's like an angel gains its wings. He has such an interesting career of being, you know, this incredible music video director and being married to a you know, incredible feminist musical icon. And then he goes and does camera op for these Jackass movies and is caught on film throwing up at people getting paper cuts. Yeah, I call him pukes of Hazard Well, Jack Asbest and Last is out this Friday. Rachel, can you stick around? We have an incredible show. We have a local citizen and a hotelier. Oh, yeah, I was never gonna leave. Oh great. o fantastic. Well, we're gonna come right back. We will have more Rachel Wolson. We'll have a local citizen and a hotelier. We're gonna be right back with M more comedy bang bang after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, Squarespace It's your all in one platform for building a standout online presence Whether you're launching something new or leveling up your business, you can secure your domain, create a polished website, share what you have to offer and get paid all in one place. I hate going to a separate place to get paid. Now you can get paid right there at Squarespace. Squarespace makes it easy to book gigs, sell services and get paid with built in scheduling, invoicing, and email tools. 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Rachel Wilson is here from no, not a Bitcoin podcast. What was the other thing that the other Rachel Wilson does Rachel, I'm going to look this up. Rachel Wilson. cast Chronic relief? No, that's your podcast. Yeah Well, I think they were saying that that this person, who I didn't know was two people did not only a marijuana theme podcast, but also did a Bitcoin podcast. I was like, what blockain pc I call it potchain. You know, that's again, I've love to combine things. So money laundering One chain. Yeah, block chain. block Change hot change. I think we're close. Yeah, plot ch. We'll get there at some point.. Jack As forever or no, sorry, Jack As bestest and last Here's the thing, it was Jackass forever likeike Batman forever Shn't it be Jackass and Robin Yeah, I think they wanted that, but the Instagram wasn't available, so they decided to go with Best and Last. Okay, got it. Jack has Best and Last out this Friday. We need to get to our next guest. This is exciting. He's a local citizen. Now, you live in Los Angeles as well, Rachel. So local to both of us, I would imagine. Yeah. Please welcome for the first time on the show, Tyler, your girl's new friend Hey, Scott. Hey, thanks for having me on. I'm really happy to be here. My pleasure. This is Rachel. Hey, Rachel, you look great. Have you ever seen the Jackass movies Oh, so funny. Yeah, which so funny Wh which ones I see them all. Youve se them all, yeah. Do you see them right when they come out? I see right when I come when they come out, I call up a friend Yeah, which is do you have a go to friend that you go to the job? I've got a lot of friends. I've got Yeahah, I make friends constantly. Part of the reason why I wanted to come on the show. Oh okay. why It's such an unusual name. Tyler, your girl's new friend. Well a lot of people call me that just because I'm your girl's new friend U What does that mean? I guess I'm not quite understanding what that is. I've got a lot of female friends. Oh you? Yeah okay And a lot of them are in relationships and sometimes that causes some conflict Surprisingly, I mean, we're just friends. There's no big deal. Yeah. It's a certain type of gentleman who is friends with a lot of females. Rachel, do you have a lot of male best friends? Yeah, call I call them the zoners. Why do you call them the zoners? You know, they know they stay in their zone. Yeah. They stay in that friend I'm staying in the zonees so I just to K of come out and say that there's nothing to worry about Everything's cool. If some of these guys are upset, I don't understand why they're lucky guys. I mean, a lot of my friends are pretty amazing ladies. Yeah, well, that's the thing is you should trust your partner. It's not it's not the guy they're hanging around with fault. It's if you don't trust your partner, its their it's their thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, and that's what I'm telling them. Yeah. And now you advice you don't try cross any lines or you know, have you heard there's this song that I heard the other day And it was three very interesting gentlemen who were singing about a situation they all had found themselves in where some of the ethical boundaries had been blurred a bit U And I thought, oh Godd, that's an interesting situation to be in. Have you ever crossed any of these blurred lines I mean, for me, no, we just hang out. We have a good time. I love to cook. And you let so you cook for these woms? Yeah. Yeah. Some of my girlfriends have just amazing pales. And before I How do Be I host a dinner party, I want to tryry out my new recipes and the wine pairings with them and get their feedback ' Who are you having the dinner parties with them? These women or justust other friends. yeah. And I don't want to embarrass myself around them. so I'll find maybe a friend of mine who has a really specific high end palletate. No. How do you cook for them specifically I mean, they'll give me great feedback. How do you figure out that these women have great paalles? Are you inspect conversations J I no idea how that would come up in conversations. I'm just listening to them, which is something apparently they don't get a lot of in their relationships Interesting. Yeah, but have you everly a conversation where you've discussed your palte? I don't think I've ever It's a big topic in my family. We like we want to know, you know, about each other's pallees. We're big palte cleansers. How is your palte? Do you have a high end pallte? you saying? My palate ll I'll try anything did What did you eat today, for instance air Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. You you are a character. Most of us are eating air. the majority of the things we eat are air, right? Just constantly swallowingir All day long, we're swallowing air. Yeah, but I drink it You drink it. Yeah. Liquefied air in you're an original. And I love that. Great, thank you. So are you, Tyler? You know I try to be. Yeah. Would you take on Tyler as one of your zoners? Oh my God, I have so many Tylers in my life. would I like Tyler, you're a Zoner, not a boner. and I love that about you. Yeah, I'm a oner. You know, but here's happy to be a zoner. Yeah Big Zer. my My Tylers, they end up getting married and I am the Tyler now. Oh I'm the Tyler. L's like Captain Phillips. I am now the friend The guy You're Captain Phillips. Yeah. O you're really the guy who Oh, the guy who hijacked Captain Phillips. Yeah, which really that movie should have switched titles in the movie. You know, I wasn't paying attention. I was at the movie with my friend and she was kind of working some stuff out Oh, really. So while it was playing, I was kind of more checked in and concerned with her because I think that somebody needed to be there for her. Yeah. And what was she going through? She had been attacked by pirates? You know, she was dealing with some relationships stuff, Scott Was she in a relationship with a pirate? Yeah, I mean, in a way. Okay was about like pirating her emotions. Oh sort of like what was that I remember when Mallica got really upset and that website God, yeah Napster I love Napster. That's how I would describe it to your parents, but is Napster. Remember when Metallica got mad at a website? Oh yeah. man, I miss kids these days Yeah, and I love music. So are you in a relationship Oh, you love music. That's great to hear. Are you in a relationship yourself? Are you Are you with anyone as well or No, I've been a little unlucky in love and I just kind of stay open and with the universe. I am spiritual and By. I mean, I just busy doing work. I just Um fires I spend some time trying the fires, the ones here or the fires here. I did some volunteering I helped try to fix some trees. I did some What fires?? There were some big fires here All of them I try to help out. When you say you tried to fix trees, what does that mean? A lot of trees were damaged pretty bad, Scott. How does one fix that? Oh tree surgery, I'm kind of a part. You're a tree surgeon? Yeah, I do a little Surgery tree. I've heard of surger tree. Yeah. surger I do surger tree. I volunteer for it. Oh. So yeah, I do some volunteering. I volunteer So you're busy Yeah mean the fires were now a full year and a half ago. Right. But you know, it'imes feel like you grow the skin back and I donated some skin. to the trees. I donated some skin to the trees to some children. Whver whoever needed it. I had a dermatologist tell me that I had some of the nicest skin had ever experienced and I was happy to donate. and it's growing back. That's good. you're branching out I Oh that's that's clever. Um I think that there's I think you guys could be zon I mean we're we're zoned. I mean and we' happens What happens when we what happens when you're each other's Tylers? Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's just a then it's just a friendship, right? And now have any of your friendships ever blossomed into something further. much like that, There's a very interesting film where a woman has an orgasm in a restaurant Yeah and when that That's an inspirational scene. It happens all the time and it's like at the wrong time. Yeah I show I've shown that to some friends that were struggling with climaxing and I'm saying you gotta fake it till you make it. Yeah Yeah. And I teach a Kundolini yoga class where sometimes that helps loosen some people up Very cool. So have any of you Have any of your relationships ever everver turned into a romance Oh no, no, it's not like that. It's never It's never not like that. This is like purely me let me ask you a question then. What's the name of one of your many friends that are women. Oh, Sarah. Sarah. Yeah. So say Sarah, we'd to say to you, you know Tyler. I actually have developed feelings for you. What would you say in that situation? I would say maybe we should talk and explore that that it has never progressed into a romance is merely because no one has ever said that to you. Well, I mean, Sarah's in a very serious relationship. I wouldn't want to break that up. And sometimes yes, sometimes things can get a little confusing. I mean, if I know a little physical therapy, a little massage therapy and that can get Sometimes if I'm like working on somebody's neck, you know, sometimes they'll maybe develop a bond with me. Sure. thenen you proceed to the back and then perhaps the pussy, the crack And the neck, donon't forget the neck. Yeah, it's mostly the neck. I mean, yes, I've done some surrogate stuff What he what? seexual surrogry? No, what is you've done this for who? in some sexual sur surrogury Yeah. So in what what respect, if one of your friends is having difficulty in the bedroom with their boyfriend, you Yeah or just fertility problems. Oh, yeah. So you're there to What do you do? You This has all been in the name of friendship. I've had some friends who are having fertility problems and they will ask me. if I'm very fertile And Ohh really? like Yeahah just a ton of sperm. I do. yeah, it's blown the mind of doctors actually Peter North style just It's a lot. It's a lot. It's actually an issue for me. It's a problem. Okay. you laugh, but once you're when you're on the receiving end. Yes, it actually causes a lot of issues. I thought you said you're very turtle. That's what I heard. Oh yeah, like entourage You're very turtle. Yeah. You're like you know there to drive around your, you know, movie star best friend. I mean, I'm a little bit of a homebody If that's what you're saying. I've had the opposite. all of my friendships have turned romantic and that's why we're not friends anymore. Is that really, really? And that is that because you crossed the boundary into a romantic relationship or just the other person tried to and you were accepting of it? this How does this work? it how does it transitionver. Yeah. I mean, sometimes, you know, life just brings two people together and life finds a way. Yeah, you know, you either grow together or grow apart. Yeah. And I like to do both with one person.. Wow, that has never happened to me. You've just never done it. No, no. But you have provided Too much sperm for couples who are having trouble c. Yes, I've provided just endless amounts of sperm if they need if they need it. Right. Vials upon vials. Yeah. I mean, it's Or are you implanting it I'm implanting Nature's way. Yeah, Nature's way, preferably. If they if they want, I'm happy to do that, but it really anyway. And so you have then had sex with a lot of these assult women. What percentage of your friends over the years have you had sex with? Oh, great question. Thank you. You're really getting good at this. Oh, you're a listener? Oh can't never miss an episode. Okay, there' been a few you could have missed, but no, never miss one. Okay, that's so nice. I got all the merch. Yeah. Oh really You have the all Joking salad t shirts I've we it to bed Okay, so wait So when you're in like having sex with some of these women trying to give them your sperm, you're wearing my all joking a salad. J to keep things light and fun. Okay And remember I' like not serious And there's a purpose to it and we don't want to be get stressed out. So yeah, I'll throw the all joking a salad And we'll get we'll laugh and laugh laugh and laugh and then the pounding starts. Yeah, I mean, it's less pounding and more just kind of a lot of direct eye contact. I don't know that I would like a lot of direct eye contact. I honestly want people to look away. Like I'm not offended if it's like, I'm thinking about someone else. You know, it's like, I'm glad about it likeike don't stare me down, you know, what do you think Rachel? No, I want to be stared at. You want to be stared I don't want you to look away at all. Really? If you look away one second. So you wantanna be like doror James Dobson, you want to focus on the family? Don't even blink Wow. Yeah. And I think that just happens sometimes with when you're around a friend you're comfortable with, you just wind up in unblinking eye contact. Yeahre locked in. I don't think you ever answered what percentage of is high It's in high. It's high I would say high ninety High nineties This is high. It's rather high And but that's again, there's nothing to be worried about as far as like developing a relationship. I'm not trying to you certainly dise a sexual relationship. I mean For the sake of procreation. Yes. Okay, so are you enjoying this at all? Are you doing multiple positions that feel good? or? Well, certain positions lead to pregnancy more than others. Okay, so you're focusing on that one. Yeah And what is this? reverse cowgirl. Reverse cow girl really helps quite a bit. Okay? All right. So yeah, a lot of reverse cowgirl That can get complicated too because you need to set up mirrors to make the direct eye contact. Yeah. And how many have conceived with your Oh the numbers high. also in the high range. againain, that my my My seed is potent, but I'm not trying to r There's any feathers and it's strong. Yes. againain, these guys who are in relationships with my friends, they are safe I'm not coming for them. You're certainly coming in upon them. Yes. Maybe I'm just try I'm trying to help them start a family. So if you're looking for a family and you want some U just giant testicled person who creates a lot I'm assuming. Well, the testicles are perfectly normal size. They are. why do they create so much? They're just working, they're working hard. Now yes, parts of my anatomy are quite large And it leads to other complications. Which do you mind me asking which parts are large? I mean, because I'm looking at you, you seem to be just a normal sized human being. Y hands are pretty regular, your feet are pretty regular.hing nothing that I can see on the outside. Yeah. when I'm stripped new you're saying that like someone else does it to you. Well, yeah, I mean, sometimes in do you have like a butler I do, I do. I mean I'm very wealthy You're wealthy? Yeah. from what Oh, just from all my inventions Hey, I gotta stop you right here. You're an inventor. This is what I think we should have been talking about from the beginning. What have you invented? Oh, just all kinds of things. Yeah, well, I'm gonna have to hold your feet to the fire and make you be specific here.. What's one of the things that we all K about, you know computer chips Computer chips, like the actual like intntel chips that computers that I thought they were like chips that were flavored computer Yeah, I mean, is that what you're talking about? You made some snack items that are snack items like con Silicon Valley Crowd Mhm It taste like wires Yeah, I mean, they taste like chips, but it's fun, it's fun marketing and that kind of took off and that led me into the world of chips. Okay, what else have you invented? Is there? I mean, that sounds more like a business and not an invention. If I'm being honest, you know what I mean? Well, yeah, I didn't invent No, but like you know how George Washington Carver invented the, you know, peanut butter? Panut butter. Yeah. Yeah He made the peanut great as Rund DMs he once said I mean, Have you ever had Non stirable peanut butter Peanut butter, you don't have to serve You don't have to or unable to. you're unable to. So what are we talking like thick Imovable peanut butter. Have you ever had that I don't No, I have not. is that one of your inventions? It's one of my inventions And what to just does it serve? Well, it helps in construction In what way? becausecause it's not sticky anymore. It's not an adhesive. That's right at heart. Sure. It sounds like it's already hard. So what purpose does this f Scott, get with the time. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it's one of the problems and it stresses a lot of my friends out Don't I mean, how are we going to build housing around here? Okay, I don't know that making immovable peanut butter has solved the housing crisis, but Well, you gott to big abstractive. Yeah. Okay, sure. So that's so you're a very wealthy individual. right Is that something that these the boyfriends of your friends feel like Mbe. I don't know. Have any Rachel, have any of your zoners ever been rich No, I don't that's not what I'm looking for all. Probably why there' oners. Yeah, none of these relationships have been sexual. They're just purely scientific. Oh really? Yeah. I mean, there is sex that happens, but it's for science. It's just to figure out exactly what I don't even think any of them have owned wallets. Hm And yes, Scott, some of us believe in science Hey, I'm not so wit, you've had the Fouciuchchy Yes. Okay. I got jabbed I'm not afraid to say it. Which one and how many times? I get them all the time. Yeah. ye. ye. every cou all of them. Every couple of days, I go. Oh, I got Sputnik, I got all Well, Tyler, your girl's new best No, sorry, new friend. Y best friends. No, we're not best friends. I mean sometimes Okay, but anyway, you sometimes I'm glad that we could I've been I've been a the Maid of honor, quote unquote, a time or two. Yeah, we were dismounting, by the way and going to commercial. Oh, okay. Sorry it's a problem I have with the dismount Wait, so when you're having sex to create these babies with all of your semen, ye, you don't get off of the woman. You lie on top of her for how long? Well, And then we'll take a break. Yeah. Well, I do practice some tantric elements. I All right. Tyler, you' your girls new friend. We're gonna come right back. Can you stick around I'd love to. I'm having a great time. Fantastic. Well, we're gonna come right back. We have a hotelier after the break. That's exciting. You ever stay in a hotel, Tyler Oh I do. Yes. I love the hotel near me. Deep toilets What's the name of the hotel? Scott. No, The hotel has deep toilets. So why is that a plus for you? is because you have so much sperm that you're ejacculating Well it needs to hold it or I have a ton of shit as well. I don't have to keep my penis from getting dunked in the water. I can let it hang, whichich is a big relief I understand. That's really for me too. All right, great. Well, Tyler, your girl's new friend. We're gonna come right back with you. We'll also have more Rachel Wolfson. Also we have a hotelier. This is a great episode of comedy Bang Bang. Welloy we're gonna come right back after this.. Summer always changes how you get dressed, right? 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Head to wayfair dot com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less That's W A Y F A I R d. com Way fair, every style, every home Have you ever considered surrounding your house with a moat to keep it safe Would you hire a professional wrestler as a bodyguard for your car Okay, maybe you wouldn't go that far But if you'd go to great lengths to avoid dealing with your insurance company You might have insoranoia And if you have insuranoia, you should have NJM insurance They go to great lengths to do what's best for their policyholders Start relieving your insure anoia today. at njM. com Comedy bang bang. we're back. Rachel Wolfson is here from Jackass bestest and lastast. And do you think this is the last one or do you think in a couple of years there's just, you know, going to be no? You know the answer I can tell ace. And the only one who knows the answer is the lord upstairs. That's right. Yeah. He's very invested in the franchise Yeah. Wow. So I mean, I'm of getting into religion Okay you yeah Yeah what part I just wna be a little more soulful as I. Okay, So not any specific religion you think to be spiritual. I think there's stuff you can take from all of them. Okay, greatreat. like what? Like Jesus being the son of God. I could see you being a southern baptist. Yeah. I could handandling snakes. Yeah, and they're beautiful creatures. Okay. All right. L tight look We need to get to our next guest. They are a hotelier and I don't have the name here, but please welcome the hotelier llo Scot. Hi, G to meet you. I'm sorry. my producer didn't give me your name, unfortunately. Terry Chavo U Terry Shivo. with a Y. Okay, the Terry with a Y Terry with a why. And then Sivo spelled the traditional way that we all know about. If it's well, I don't know if it's the one you know, then that's probably it. U. Yeah. Okay. So nice to meet you Terry. This is Tyler, your girl's new friend And this is Rachel W Wolfson and It's Wolfon.. Thank you. Are you a Jack Hass fan? Absolutely. ye. I've seen all of them. And I've seen them right when they come out in the theater as well. Okay, great. I have to say, you know there's another, there's a famous Terry Sivo. Well yeah, I do know. it's the B an Albatrross R aick Most of my life. Right, rightight. Okay, but you're not you're not related you're nowm not related, but of course I've get, you know, hear all the jokes and whatnot. What it doesn't seem like a joking matter to me necessarily. I would't think so either. It's about it was a right to life case. Right, exactly. So but you're not related to that case. Do you have any strong feelings on it or? I said I said at the time, I was more concerned about, oh God, we have the same name But not really the details of the case itself. I don't even remember how it came out in the end. but I don't think it came out well Well was there what how can we be good I mean, look, we all are gonna to eventually end up wherever, whatever happens in your spirituality, Terry. Tyler. What's your name Tyler?l You're Terry, you're Tyer. That's right, the shoot te. Should I have had two guests with the te name on on the same show? Mbe three Well, you have Tyler the creator, but you're Tyler the inventor. Yes. And you're Tyler the Hotelier. Not Tyler at all, actually. Sorry you're Terry. Terryy Yeah, but have you has anyone ever nicknamed you Tyler the Hotelier? Not to my knowledge. maybe behind my back, but No, I mean, and to tell you the truth why I got into this and the name is because it's been I've been dragging it around my whole life and I can't escape it. I thought at this point I'm just going to make lemonade out of these goddamn lemons because this bitch has been bringing me down. So I decided to makeake a new business venture and open a series of hotels, The Terry Shave Hotel. And Terry Shy Votel. Yes, correct So without the a, it's just Terry Sy Votel Correct. But if you're listening to it, I think you can hear that H Yeah, but the H is silent. and's not even there in the spell. Not even there at all. Okay. great. And it's the world's first hotel that is exclusively for comas Be w. H you ever thought about all the coma patients in hospitals just taking up those damn beds? They're not really patients right now. They're just we're waiting around and you're just have you ever thought this isn't a hotel Well now that is a hotel Okay, so this is not for people in permanent vegetative states. This is for people who are literally in comas. Literally in comas But some of those are permanent, I suppose. I don't, you know, I haven't visited a hospital's coma wing recently. I have. I thank you you have. Yeah I've eaten at Tony Com's before. That's one of my favorite. A place for comomas. Yeah, Tony Comas. I like to read books to a lot of the coma patients Well, now you can do that at one of the hotels. justust get them out of the hospitals because they're taking up space. them and long COVID. That is not get them out of there Okay, so you have a very strong a good idea your brain I think it's just laziness at a certain point. I call ' them the locos, the long COVID. Oh I love that..onna be gonna be using that So you so have you talked to other have you talked to hospitals about this? any hospitals, not just other ones. Have you talked to any hospitals about, hey, we have this business idea I don't want tona be in business with the hospital. I want to be in business with the people. So Ive bypassed the hospitals entirely because we give you a better rate than you're going to get spend however much dang money you're going to spend in that hospital every night. Oh, really. So what's the what's the Terry Sy Hotel difference Well, it's it's we do obviously monthly rates And with minimum week stay. If you're going to be getting in and out of the coma kind of that fast, we're not that interested. How does anyone know if they're going to get out of the coma in less than the week? I think they know. You think they do. You think they know. Okay. So so weekly is the minimum, but monthly rates. Monthly traditional. Yeahah, we're going to give you a good rate there And we're going to give you all the care that you'd get in a hospital, but just in a hotel. Very nice hotel, by the way. Okay, what are some of the amenities beds, the ones those are in hospitals. Well, in fact, and we get hospital beds that have been no longer needed. And we that right now there's no difference between you in a hospital. Well, when it comes to this one amenity that you're touting Well as as the top line amenity that comes to mind first Beds are old hospital beds Well, but the exterior definitely looks like a hotel. Oh wow. Like Fermmont? You know, that sounds kind of nice You don't want hospitals are sterile and you don't feel good when you're in them. This feels like a hotel because it is actually a hotel. But it actually feels like a hospital in terms of the beds. Which is the first thing that you thought of. It does. Well, it's the first thing that I thought of, but maybe someone else thinks of something different. Okay, so what's the second thing? What's the second amenity that you want to advertise as the Terry Shive Hotel has Well a room service Okay Meaning much like a hospital, people come into your room and give you the food. No not at all like that. We have someone that comes, they'll bring you Breakfast They'll bring you lunch and dinner and they'll clean out the bedpan on their way out. Okay, I like this. I would love to stay at a hotel that actually does that You can get at the bed tent. You can stay at one of these hotels. They're open to you. in a coma, you said that you're not interested. I'm interested. You just share it with a coma share with a person who has a coma or Yeah, I callem coma. I callem comas. Oh, okay. The people I callem comas because you got it. They're kind of in between being people anywways. So I say let's call them comas. So you could get a room with one of them, but you cannot have sex with them or anything like that. if that's what you were thinking. Yeah, got not everything's sexual. Okay, hold on a second. That'sareom with a coma and positive energy can maybe bring them out of this. Okay, that's not what I was thinking. We don't allow that. And honestly, I find it a little odd that that's one of the first things you mention as one of the rules as if it has happened multiple times in your hotel. I don't I don't want it to be a problem Okay, no one wants it to be a problem, but has it been one? That's why I said it right up front is spepecifically for somebody you talked about the beds first That was the first thing I thought of But I'm glad the fact that no one is allowed to have sex with the coma patients absolutely not should be should be just normal. Yeah should You don't want it to to be said. You don't think it needs to be said. That seems like a problem. All right. If you don't want it to be one of the rules. It's one of my main rules. Yeah When in Roma, be in a coma. Thank you, Oh wow. Yeah. G have fun I love Roma. Sublima with Roma. Sublima with Roma. There's no place like that oma Yeah. Hold on, writeing these down. Yeah. sllow down. Wait what are you writing down on by the way? these slogans? Yeah. no, but what are you writing down on? It I can't quite tell is that like a It's wax paper that that we use on some of the chairs in the rooms. Okay. Why are you putting wax paper down on the chairs? Because we can change it out each time. it's cheaper than cleaning every single time.ust changing wax paper. Yeah. Is't that uncomfortable like if you're sitting there hoping your loved one wakes up from a coma, all the crinkling around when you're constantly shifting? I think it actually is maybe inspirational to the person in the coma if you can hear your loved one in the room. So that crinkling is a sign of love. Also, I don't think it saves on cleaning because you should also be doing cleaning We have salining? You do. Yeah. How often We have a maid service that comes around, well, if you're in there for a week, they'll be there once a week for sure I like I like your Company slogan It's like olive garden, you know. When you're here. you're in a coma. Yeah, exactly Let me write this down qu. Okay. house paper right now just sprinkling so loud. It wasn't that loud. was And I was sitting on it so it's you know I'm here. Okay. Make sure that you don't throw it away when you're done because you want to keep these slogans. Yes. the bed pans Wep Yeah. I mean, are you going to be sitting on one of them Possibly, ye. but they have no water in them. so you' I think I get know what you're getting. I just don't want to. What do you botom He's getting a bll. Well, mean I think he's worried about his Dippp in his hog into the you're using a medical term by That's right You are in the medical industry. Oh yeah. Well, I'm not in the medical industry. No. you're a hotel I sk I bypass the h the hospital. So you're allowed to say things like hog, whereereas if I were to go into You know, My doctor refers to it as hog It's a regional thing. I think people, you know, wherever you're from, you've learned a different word for it. Yeah I think he's from where you're from. it'sional We' said penis earlier in the episode several times. It's the penis game, not the hog game. Yeah. Yeah. So it's wherever you learned it. Okay. So you have you have made service once a week cleaning out the bed pans. I think that those bed pans could stand a few more cleanings than just once a week. We have had that's been on the comment cards, that's been one of them. Yeah. And do you have any intentions of fixing that actually the comment cards were wax paper. so most of them have been thrown out and so it does slip my mind. So we're thinking about now that you're saying it again, I've got it top of mind. Okay great. It's the number one thing it's do you cannot have sex with the people in the comas though. That's actually it's still number one. Let's say that's number one. This will be number two. Okay. Got it. And this this goes for There's just a blanket, no sex policy anywhere in the hotel or no, I don't think I think that would be crazy. Can the employees have sex with each other No, that's an HR issue. Absolutely. You wouldn't have that in an office or something. Okay. so if sex is occurring in your hotel Why what are the circumstances? If the the the employees can't have sex with each other Fast in love So so two but maybe there's a husband and wife but they and their little son is in a coma and they're having sex in front of the coma. Well, they don't know when he's gonna to wake up. and they what are they going to stop their routine? They've got bodily urges and functions that need to happen. I think that's beautiful, Terry. Yeah, we could turn this into a romantic ama C. You are a character. Romomaom romantic Roma. Ran, Okaykay, gotot it Imploring you to get some just regular paper, please it's an idea. Yeah. Are any of the employees allowed to have sex with any of the coma patients who wake up Afterwards on their own free time, I guess so. I mean, maybe it's like like oh, they they' doctor doctor come quick. No doctors No doctors. No. Okay. So I've heard of doctors without borders and doctors without any doctorsctors doctors without banase. I've heard of them. I've heard of them. But so no doctors are here. So if someone wakes up from a coma, what how are they attended to B by the Bell hop. So that's who we don't have doctors there. It's not a hospital. but we have bell hops that are there for your every and concierge. And that's mostly for things to do in town, but they're not usually using them. And are the Bellhops wearing stethoscopes? Are they wearing white coats? No, they're wearing I would, you know, a little red suit with a lot of gold medallions and a little red hat. Typical red hat. Yeah. Can you picture if you can picture that? Steve B Chamy and Barton Fink maybe. a little monkey grinder outfit? Sure, yeah. Dunstan checks in Remember that? The monkey Remember that movie, Dunston Chucks it checks in or checks in? Yeah, I think it's orangutang. Yeahah. Yeah, yeah. And I believe Jason Alexander assisted a monkey checking into a hotel, I'm assuming is the plot of that movie. I do I do remember it. yeah. It has very little to do with what we do. But're a hotel, aren't you? We are. So there's timeve admitted we're not a hospital. Godcott assumes all hotels have a deep knowledge of Dunstan checked in We do I mean we do love other I love movies about hotels. It's just not one of the pretty woman. That's set a lot in a hotel. Yeah Also with Jason Alexander. Yeah. Yeah. he really had a lock on hotel movies When you think about it, Those two for sure. I Yeah I mean, ninety percent of his IMDB, I'm looking it up right now is hotel based Seinfeld,are there's a little bit of trivy on this. Seinfeld, everyveryone thought that was an apartment was said in a hotel. It was said in a hotel.. Incredible. What you learn about show business. Wow So so there are concierges who are there to assist any of the guests with reservations amusement park tickets. Yeah, local what shows are playing in town because we have we've got we've set up the Terry Ch hotels in most major cities right now. R And Europe. We got some in Europe. Some of those shut down a little bit bed bugs. That's not on us that That's a Europe is Cluttered bed buugs? Is it really? Oh yeah, Europe You never heard about European hotels having bed buugs? I mean, I've heard of every hotel having bed bugs. I didn't know that it was centered in Europe. It's rampant in Europe. Okay, I didn't know that. But do coma patients really care about bedbgs? No, but the loved ones do, the ones that are in there. and the employees honestly don't love them either Yeah. So we will shut down the Chivot tail if it does have B bugs. Okay. so that's that's one of your major promises. notot my number one. No, your number one is No one better have said That's right. That was abutely Some people think it shouldn't even be a rule apparently Tyler, but I think it should be a rule. Okay The best way to have sex is in a coma Yeah, right with another coma I think yeah, two patients having sex with each other is that allowed? I think that could be real. I've never seen it, but I'd think it wouldd be wonderful. if they two comas kind of when no one's looking, like come alive at night like Toy story and have sex with each other And maybe one of them on the bottom of their foot has Andy writtden, you know That's nice You know, I see. I think the Toy story parallels could just go on and on. You have got me thinking now that every time we, you know, we turn out the lights and we do have curfew. So we do turn out the lights that and we're downstairs. You know, I wonder if they're having sex. We don't know. We don't know what they. I wonder if the Toyory the toys in Toy Story are having sex. I mean, Bo Peep and Woody have a consensual relationship and his name is Woody. And her name is Pep. Peep. Yeah. Can I put my woody in your peep?? And I'm sure Buzz is around just supporting this. Yeah and not And not other rel relationship at all. I think he's just there kind of being a supportive friend. Giving it to infinity and taking them to taking her to space if she needs to go, but it's like just more to see it And maybe a friendly ear to listen to. flip up his helmet and actually listen to her for once. Yeah, but I think that's. I think this is a great idea, Scott so Toy story cosplay Directed by Tyler Perry. Yes, starring Meda. Yeah.. Hellar Well thearr Are you saying hello or you think it's hilarious I was saying hello O you are definitely from where my doctor is from. Where's that? You guys, he says that too becausecauseuse I'm upstate New York. Okay, yeah.'re from upstate New Yor. I think from.. I think he's from Schennectady. So this is, I mean, how is you have multiple ary shy hotels Yeah, M in mostajor metropolitan cities. And you'll only shut down the ones that get bed bugs. Why else will we shut one down Be of lack of business. Yeah. Oh no, we've we've been doing well with them. Yeah. Now we threat Um, we would You know what? I would arson for a bomb threat If you ever have a bomb threat, call me, I'll Take care of it. In what way? do you know how to diffuse bombs? Yeah, I've done that a time or two. Okay. Before the police, we would call you think call you. Yeah, call me. I've I think my Experience dealing with emotional time bombs really helps set me upaling. You've cut the emotional green wire. Yeah, now it actually just my hands are steady as a rock. Yeah, interesteresting I think that you guys should work together, honestly, like have you thought of I know you're independently wealthy business and what was the other one that you have U Well, you invented what was it? It's a new type of chocolate. Oh right. yeah. okay. but I think that you guys could work together. What we do we still have we're working out the kinks and we have some nam things. So many hotels have you not worked out the kinks? Scott, you're real matchmaker today. I don't know. I see people and I see the connections between them. I mean, wouldn't it be great if Tyler was working for you, Terry and Rachel was hanging around 'cause they're great friends, you know? Yeah. I thought there was chemistry. betweenetween you and Terry Shibo over here? Everyone. Oh really? Yeah. I got a wife, sorry. I'm locked up at home. Yeah, but doesn't That doesn't mean you can't participate in science, it's chemistry. Tell us about your wife. Her name What do what do you mean locked yeah, what do you mean? Oh locked down? like she locked me down as well. Oh o. but she's not a coma patient. Not yet. no, she's very much alive. Well, the comas are alive too, I should say. but she's not vegetative in any way. Okay. She's a Well we don't we don't mean to imply that but she's just a everything's functioning in that regard Everything's functioning, yeah. And you have a healthy sexual relationship with her? Very voracious, actually. And you do all the positition, you do the reverse cow girl and that's how she got pregnant.. So you have children Yeah. No further questions And I support making that choice Well, Terry. Her name's Helayian, by the way Okay You didn't ask. Yeah, I wasn't interested Well, that makes you think of her more like an object than I was. You were saying. Wow, that's really interesting. Yeah. So your intention to tell me her name was to humanize her for me? Well now I know you now you can picture her. Yeah. I know'm not picturing her because you haven't described her. What do you f her ass or? You know what? I am picturing her and she's beautiful. So she' a beautiful woman to you, at least, too me at least. Hoane Helaine. Yeah. Helaine. And where did you meet Helaine? France Okay, when you wereful off closing one of your hotels? Well yeah. we had obviously we had bed bugs there Some of the ones in the States do have bed bugs as well, but we'll shut them down too. But Europeans horrible with bed bugs. So Well I did meet her when I was shutting down. She was an employee of one of the Chav Hotels. Okay, and there was no conflict of interest there. That wasn't an HR problem because you were shutting down and she was out of work. Well, I fudged it a little bit because we were shutting down I said it was bed bugs, but I just closed the whole hotel so she wouldn't be an employee anymore I don't like to call them HR problems. I like to call them HR solutions. Opportunities. Yeah. Yeah. This is an opportunity for our HR head of HR to do a little work here, you know, like could pay their salary to take care of the fact that I am having sex with one of my employees She wasn't my employee. I fired the whole staff. tooook down. So greatreat. We were good there. Okay, so you what was the discussion like with you and Helaine? Helena? who Helaine Hllane, Hello Whatre you saying hello? or are you't I have no idea. Okay. What was this discussion like, Hey, by the way, you're fired Remember that, you're fired Right? Oh, yeah. ye.fortunately, I do wherever So you're fired By the way, do you want to have dinner with me tonight U, well, it wasn't in it wasn't done as inarticulately as that Oh I beg your pardon, good, sir Please tell us exactly how you articulated it. I said everyone get out of the building right now, we have bed bugs So out on the sidewalk, I said This I put my I gently put my hand on her shoulder and said, I think this hot this Chaveotale is not long for this world. So already you you've done some of those cross those boundaries. You put her your hand on her shoulder when you had a sexual interest in her I had a romantic interest in her that it quickly thing developed into a yeah, sexual thirst that had to be quenched. Scott, you got to get a job in a Renaissance fair That kind of little English accent you just did. I thought I didn't know where I was for a second. I thought' I'm in the middle agges. Yeah. well, you know, hey, the company Baybaking Tour is coming to the UK next month. So you will see right there. Bs I know, I'll be on the lookout because of you. So you put your hand on her shoulder And then you say, the hotel may not be long for this earth Would you like to come back to me with me and live in Niagara Falls? So you haven't fired her at this point And you're asking her to cohabitate. Well, I wouldn't say we'd live together at first. I say come back with me. We'll figure out the lodging at some point. U we started dating after that and then while we were dating, I gave her a herer notice. Yeah. Okay Okay, so then this I'd ever told her she was fired I gave it a pink slit. entially. Yeah, I never had to say the words and be the bad guy. This sounds like there were a lot of issues with this. But look, you own the place. So who's going to fire you, right? Yeah. Niagara Falls exciting place. Honeymoon Capital of the world. justust a lot of That's an interesting bit att trivute,. Thanks so much exciting relationship energy can develop there. Yeah, fantastic. We haven't gotten to we haven't gone to the falls yet. We still need to. You live there, but you haven't gotten there? Haven't seen. H have not seen them yet. Yeah. Where do you live in Niagara Falls U Is the back of your house up against the falls? You just haven't It is facing south of the falls. Yeah. I've heard them. You can e they shut up frranklly. But u yeah haven't we haven't we spend most of the time at the Front yard. Front yard And the Syold Tails. I'm on the road a lot. so. And when you fly in, the route does not go over the falls. You cannot or actually' sorry, it goes directly over the falls. So if you're trying to look out you can't look out either side a window, you would notless you got a glass bottom car they don't make those yet. I think you're in a play though is but true enough That is w we miss some of that wax paper, friend ' ring this down. Actually, if you want we could if we had a glass bottom floor in one of our shy hotels. we could spy the comas to see if they're having sex with each other when we turn off the lights. Now that's an idea. This is not a bad idea Would you ride in a glass bottom car I would find that too frightening. I think glass bottom boats are already frightening. But if like you could see the pavement and how fast you were going underneath, you would you ever get in one? I would live in a glass bottom house. You would. Yeah. So you'd see like the wes and everything underneath your house. Everything. I want to throw stones. I have no secrets. You can, you know, I would love to see the words. Yeah The Wiams. The word Wiam Hly The Wiams. The Williams as sllgo says. In the Nancy Cics I'd love to see him crawling around eating the dirt. Oh man. I'd love to see if there's bones underneath my house You know? Well, there are You think there are really? I could smell it. Oh yeah. ye Is that why you have me coming from the side