Final Thoughts and Personal Updates

I'm just gonna say it, there's a hyundai hybrid for everyone. There sure is. Yep. The Santa Fe Hybrid SUV seats up to seven Tucson hybrid SV features standard H track all wheel drive. The Sonata Hybrid limited sedan has exceptional performance and handling. to an EPA, estimated fifty two highway miles per gallon with the sporty Eantra Hybrid limited sedan. All Hyundai hybrids come With first class safety features, advanced tech, stellwar design, and America's best warranty. It's a good one. It is a good one. hardard to beat All those stats. America's West warranty claims based on total package of warranty programs, visit hyunda USa dot com or call and give your phone number, wrrite it down. Okay. five, six two S three one four four six zero three for more details Have you got an ass been Du trading compompany is for you. I'm just reading what they wrote, folks For decades, Duluth has been making workwear for harder workers. You got an ass Sona? Yeah, I do. Well, Duluth companies for you from highly abrasion resistant pants To heat beating work shirts, Duluth empowers you to take on life with your own two hands. Ready to bolster your Nether regions? What the hell? Duluth Unders are the no pinch, no stink. No sweat solution when your junk drawer is on life support. Oh God! They went. They went too far. Yeah and you read it, you read it all. didnidn't even ask any questions. I just blacked out and it came out of my mouth. So you do your glutes a favor Shop at a Duluth trrading store near you or at duluthtrading dot com Duluth trrading for folks who work their butts off Hi, my name is Charlie Poh blank being about being Conan O'Brien's friend. We're gonna fill in that blank. and by the end of this episode, you're gonna feel, I think the word's gonna be ecstatic or filled. That makes me uncomfortable Charlie. F is here Back to school, ring the bell, brand the shoes, walk and looose, climb the fence, hooks and guns, I can tell that we arenin't gonna new friends we are gonna friend. Hey there, Wlcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a friendriend. I'm Conan O'Brien, of course. and I'm joined by Sona Mopbsessian. Hello, Sona. Very good to be here. Thanks for having me. And David Hopping is of course filling in for Matt Goreley., who's on paternity leave still He's still Listen, I respect a guy. He takes fatherhood seriously. I did not When Liza was giving birth to our first child, I left mid contraction to go back to work. And I still haven't met my daughter. but I'm told she's lovely. It's very sweety. a lot of time with his family. It's very nice.. And that's a familial bond, which is very important. Ely on, you've got to do it. But he'll return one day Until that time, there's much talk about. So I had a nice surprise, which is I turn on the TV the other morning, and the TV's just on in the background and they go, and coming up, Sonam Obsessian And it was it is it what's it called Good Da? G Daily. It's on Fox eleven N news. It's a local. Yeahah. peopleople from LA know goodood Da It's's the thing. And you know, I was just like, I've gott to watch Fox right now. I was just like, I've gott to see my Fox. Yeah, yeah. ye, you love a local Fx affiliate. I love a Fox affiliate and that's just the way I've always been Then I hear we'll be right back with Son of Obsessian Yeah And you come on and you have a book that's coming out fairly soon. Your first book, which was a smash hit world's worst Assistant. I don't see why it was so popular because it's just a book about truth. It' my time being your assistant. called the world's worst assistant. You wrote the For. I wrote the Forward. And this is the world's worst momom. This one's called World's worst Mom. It's all about your adventures, raising your two lovely boys., AKA monsters They're lovely. They're lovely. I love those monsters. I always adorable. I love winding them up. When they come here to the office. I drop everything I'm doing and I chase them around. Yeah. They get super hyper, so they're not going to go to sleep for six days and then I say, Ga go and I go into a recording session. And I always see your husband Tack looking like After you, man They are plutonium by the time I got. are. They're psychotic. I chaseed them upstairs, downstairs. ch love it. They love it. So this is you on the news, Sonam Obsessian and I was thinking, I just, I'm sorry, I had to look at that and think, look how far you've come Amazing. I grew up watching Good Day LA. And then I was on it. But I also I've never done live television And I had to be very aware of what I talked about. Right you've done a lot of things with me, but those are on tape. Yeah and there's time to pull things up a bit if you get salty with your language. because you did some time in the Navy and you have a You got a mouth on you, sister, right? And so Um I was amazed at how professional you were. Yeah. but almost like you took classes What do you mean like media training classes? Yeah Have you ever done that Do you think I've ever done that? I don't know. You have this ability, which you've always had to appear like a normal person when necessary. You know what I mean? Like you're very charming and you're not dropping F bombs, you're not tellelling Runchy stories. you are just this glowing sometimes when I was working for you as your assistant there were times when we had to interact with like actual real people. Yeah like professional decent people. And so you have to like We have to switch it up. We can't be like, o f you, f you in front of like, you know, Michelle Obama or like her b. I hope not. Jesus But we can't do that. so it, you know, you have to be good. Yeah and professional. Yeah. And so yesterday I was on the news. I was on the news and I was following Manny Pacquiao, which was crazy. Yeah. Yeah, he was on before me. And I and yeah, I had so much fun And those women I was on with One of whom is my friend, Axia. and then the other two anchors, everyone was so professional. They're so like cool, They're fun, they look great. I don't mean to andert myself in a situation, but don't you think in a way they had you on to kind of get to The big dog. Do you know what I mean? Like was there anything like, Oh, so you're here, Son of that's great. Is he coming? Oh, they think like you with me. Yeah. And then you would just replace me No, not replace you, but you have to It's just got to be a thing in your life where You have to be a little suspicious that people maybe you're if someone's being nice to you, o, it's just to get to The guy. Okay. guy. Listen, you're doing bits about this, but you you're also right. You're right. I'm a bit It comes to me to get to you. Okay. They do you know that I'm going to get a call tomorrow from goodood Day LA and they're gonna be like, Well, Sonah was on. So I guess now your turn. Well, yeah. Right. Well, it's kind of like you're at a feast and there's like scraps falling and I'm like, yay, I get to eat You just likened yourself to an animal under the table He There's been a barnacle on your cruise ship, and I'm fine with that. and I love it. And I get to do things like go on Good D LA. And that's what I'm saying. I don't you know what? I'm gonna to say barnacles are necessary. They serve a function. What? I don't know what it is I know they have to be scraped off religiously. they do. But they must serve some function. No, they don't. That's the whole point. You have to scrape them off. Well then you're a barnacle. Yeah a barnacle. Okay. And you know what? It's cool. I feel like I'm a con man. I have perfect grift and I'm cool with it. Yeah I am perfectly happy I will say I' blown up. I mean, every time I see Uh, it's Sona Every time I see this Sona Yeah out in the world, I'm very impressed. You you u you You look great You're very engaging, you're funny. and The thing I've always said about you is you don't change when the camera's on you You don't change when you're in here being on the podcast. you don't change. I swear to God if I made you come out with me at the top of the Oscars, you would be Sona Yeah It wouldn't be That is a gift because most people I know hardly anyone. You might be you're the most natural person in every situation. That's. Thankk you. And you know a few weeks ago, I did a keynote speech at the writers's workshop in Dayton, The Er Mabombeck writers's workshop. I wrote a speech And I remember I sent you a text because you're doing the Harvard commencement speech this year. And I was like, if you need help I' champion. I am a speech champion. You are a speech champion and you bring that up a lot that your' speech champ. I bring it up every almost every day. Yeah. Yeah. a huge impact on your life. Kind of. Yeah. I mean, I'm doing this for a living, which is just talking. This isn't couldn't be a living This is my living. This is literally my life. I get paid as my assistant Do you still get paid as my assistant? Yes, they do. Oh my God Oh my God Oh my gosh. Back in October, I had to go to a wedding. She covered me for two days. I covered him for two days. Remember? Yeah. to the eye doctor. That's why you pay me. Why go to the eye doctor Why did you go to you went to the a? I were like watering. That's right, they were watering. And then it turned out they said you're having an emotion That's how repressed I am. I said my eyes are watering and they went it happening well, you know, my parents died last year and Also, this sad thing happened And they said that's called crying. But I do things sometimes don't I actually don't. I don't do any That's an incredible. and this is we have just We just I just saw this rock. I was walking through the forest and I saw this rock and I just lifted it up and I saw scandal, depravity, injustice. And and I quickly put the rock down But if you think we're not revisiting this rock and lifting it up again, you're sorely mistaken because this is a scandal. And I want I want Sue Lane in here. I want Sarah Fedorvich in here. I want to open the books on this thing because my God. I think you're committing a crime. How dare you? How dare you? How dare me? The fallout from being your assistant has been than I am attached to you for the rest of your life. So for the rest of your life, you are paying me to be your assistant. I I'm not I'm going to investigate this. I'm going to get into the weeds. This is a crime. This is a crime at every level. It is And we're gonna to have to figure out, I mean, yeah, I mean belieable Unbelievable. I still get notifications when it's someone's birthday. I don't do anything with the notifications, but I get them. Oh yeah. Did you get a notification about this Saturday My fucking birthday I think the Barnacle should learn the birthday of the cruise ship it's been hanging out on You had no idea Oh I get notifications about important birthdays. Oh, how about this Saturday? Wha Mm. Oh. I mean Yeah just remember you don't need a notification because it's just it's there. I'. I' tattooed on my leg. No, yeah. April eighteenth. Okay Thumbs up. All right Listen. Wow, we've exposed so much crime. The rot goes deep. The rot goes deep All right, my guest today is a singer, songwriter whose fourth studio album, Whatever's Clever is out now. very excited to chat with this gentleman. Charlie Booth, welcome Is this a first? I think after thirty five years of doing this podcast, for the first time, our guest, Charlie Puth has a keyboard in front of you, which is really cool and may become mandatory for everyone. I may just say, even if they most people won't play the keyboard But I insist that it be there and that they take a few stabs at it. Yeah. It kind of colors my words a little bit more like if I'm I have like a really good idea. from introspect Okay, let me ask you something. What if I start to speak and things get menacing? I'm going switch it to the piano here. Let me tell you something, Charlie . I don't like you and I don't like what you stand for I've never liked these musicians, these prodigies And I'm gonna kill you Now let's have it get happy And then I don't wait a min, I'm off my meds. but now I'm back on my meds again Charlie. becausecause now we're in C major and you don't end up killing me. That's good. See? I'm I'm in it now. You're in it now. Lovely to have you here. There' so much talk about. You're on fire at the moment. You've got this great album out And and I'm very excited to have you here because I just want to talk about something. first of all it's called Whatever's Clever. firstirst of all, this is crazy, but one of your tracks says don't Meet yourour Hoes. And yet here you are. high five sona. Oh shit I love I used to be cringe. I was listening to the That actually might be my favorite song on the album. It's a really good song. you talk about how It that S No I don't play more than six seconds of a song but I'll let you play. I'll give the rights to you or whatever the fuckking is. You just wait a minute, you just gave me the rights to a Charlie Pooh song.. You idiot. And that's a verbal contract That's what I my new scam is going to be getting, you know, Billy Eilish in here, getting Taylor Swift in here, getting Sabrina Carben here and then having them blurred out. Okay, you can have the rights. And then overnight, I've got seven yachts strapped together I don't know if I used to be cringe is gonna give you seven yachts, but I really like it. I identify with the song. mine would not be past tense. I remain cringe. mine isn't past tense either And then I love this. O of my favorite people was Jeff Goblum. You have a collab with Jeff Goblum on a song called Until It H happppens to You. And I thought, o, because I know Jeff's a musician. This is going to be Jeff playing. When you get to his part, which would normally be like rap or singing a solo part, it's him talking And it's fantastic. It's a great ten CC shot of pure Goldbloom. the song. he's like, Well boys. if I were to tell you that kind of kind of sounds like how. That's good No. That's good. Yeah. But like it's a song about reacting to losing a loved one. And it's kind of it's kind of like a disguise and like very Yesy very happy chords, but it's just like it's about death. It's about death And Jeff Goblum like will he made us all cry in the studio because he just started speaking to his kids who weren't there, but like speaking to us like we were his kids. and it felt like the end of a movie where the credits kind of slowly trickle down and everyone's walking away into the sunset down the yellow I like first of all, it's Goldbloom who's got the most distinctive. and he's up there with Christopher Walken and a couple of other iconic people who have such a distinctive way of speaking And it's almost the part of a song where someone would scat And he is kind of scatting, but it's then I realize that's just how Jeff Goldblum talks. yeah. And he's doing that and you realize that, oh, this is a version of jazz. What is and it's just the way Jeff Goldblum talks. Absolutely, it is. And I know, I strive to find the most melodic people on anything that any project that I make. Yes, I'll do it.it I'm sorry. thought That was my next question. I thought that was an invite I've got the rights to one song and now I'm gonna be in another song. This is the worst day for your career ever. spending a lot of money. I said you were on fire and you are, but it ends here. I'm like negative like twenty six dollars I've got to mention, we'll talk more about the alum in a second, but I when I say a second, I mean, towards the end of the interview killed a national anthem and you must be getting at the Super Bowl. Very hard song to sing. It is. It's a very hard song, he said, being a comedian, not a musician, but I've always heard the trick is And the Rockets Red glare takes such a big leap. Who owns the national anthem? I'm sure Trump has it now, but No, he bought the rights. likeike six wee when no one was looking. But what what I've always heard the secret is to start low That's what I would do. I would be like, o say can. I would start down there. So you werere doing it in C major. Oh say can you. So then when I go up to H Rockets Red? I can you'd have to go octave up from h? Oh actually, no, you're correct. Oh I had I was right, wasn't I? Oh say, can you see? the hold off And the rocket red Gare. We have to feel so patriotic in this moment. Well I mean, visually if I can represent the reason why it's hard to sing is because like you start if you're going to start here and then you have to And then you have to actually go Yes, up here at the middle at the end of the song. you don't get a break. When I see someone start the national anthem too high,oo, say, I'm like, you're dead. You are dead. And I say that. I start screaming at the TV. You're dead. Yeah. Because then you have to awkwardly change keys noobbody comes to mine because everybody nails the national anthem, obviously. Oh I bet you have some No everyone too nice a guy. but you know I know in your head right now there are some names of people' all thinking of but you're correct. when When you say What's that specific one? Yeah. what's up I'm trying to get off the exit here. When You didn't say anything Charlie. and I didn't say anything. What are you saying Sona? Fergie. She famously went crazy. She went buck wild with the star spangled b. Did she start too high? I don't know don't ask me. I don't know. I think Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson. Okay. Well, she had no business singing the national anthem. No, I agree. London Bridge is fantastic. And again, not stays in a restrained range. If I'm ever asked to sing the national anthem And I know it's it hasn't happened yet, but I'm. I'm still very young in my career. It's coming. It's coming. Thanks, Charlie. I will start will start low. I will start low Yeah, but you are correct in your assessment. You don't want to start like say because then you have to go. I wonder how high I could start and still hit it Oh say can you see by the dance will he light? What'sso Hardly we have the latter are in A as and must ask Flas abouted heya He best baba, hereere we go B Ritson You know what? you ran out a keyboard. and I saw you pull some extra white keys out of your pocket I blew them. I had to really drive the shit up. You got really loud there for a second. Yeah, it's insane. It's insane. It kind of like a cross between Tiny Tim and like Freddy Mercury. Oh how dare you? Yeah. Yeah, it was. It's a very good musical analysis I had my testcals removed six weeks ago In preparation for this interview. And I'm told they might be able to reattach them. M If they can find them. See, you don't get stuff like this in Santa Barbara where I live You have to come you got to come to Hollywood for this show. You know what I love? Charlie, there's a you perform a great service, which is I just want to make sure I get the title right. Yeah. Professor Poh TikTok series. You have this TikTok series that I enjoy. because I'm an amateur musician and I like to play around with guitar and I like to try and make music with other musicians in my way. A lot of qualifiers musician. You're downplaying it. Well, I love doing it. It's a big part of my like private hobby life. Buts good. I've always been phobic about Theory And I was phobic about math when I was a kid. and when people would bring up math, I would think, I'm not smart, I can't do this and I would shut down about math. And I the same way when people bring up theory, I love to mess around on the guitar and then when someone says, Well, that's interesting. That's the relative minor So you can take the relative minor, but remember if you play the flat, remember, there are three flats I just black out. I do too You do, really? Absolutely, I do. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I really I remember there's a you know, soul fedged do R me Fos. Yeah. That is put in place so you can know it's like it's built as a reference for singers. So like do. Oh now it's a toy piano sound. Yeah Good job, Schroedder. This is C' doe and then Fz F. but I don't need it's an extra effort for me to remember that. I just know it's C and F. so I would go to my teacher and be like, I don't know how to read Soufz. She was like, Well, you have to know how to read Soulfh. You're in fucking soulfz class. I don't like the way this teacher talked to you And I was like, if you don't know how to read it properly, you have to go to Soulfh three. But like, and I would hold up the piece of paper. but like I can sing and play backack every note fect because I don't need the reference I have in my head. She says, it doesn't matter. you have to go back to three. So I share that with you where I would get nervous The World Cup is all about what's next. The future of the sport, the player nobody saw coming who suddenly becomes a star. Very exciting. Hyundai offfficial partner of the twenty twenty six FIFA World Cup Belves the next starts now. Yeah. Yeah. do you ever think about that how the next starts now? I think about it all the time. Me too. Now, personally, I don't know what's next for me I hope It's that I become inventor of some amazing piece of tech. Oh boy. And yeah, it explodes and I become this legendary tech CEO giant. Okay, but I'm just waiting around for that to happen. Yeah. I'm not good at tech and I don't know anything about it. You have trouble with all tech. Yeah. I do. But for Hyundai They're not like me. They're not sitting around waiting for some impossible thing to happen They're building it now with innovative vehicles, advanced technology, and by helping support the next generation of soccer stars, or as many people say, football. From cars to robotics, they didn't come to the twenty twenty six FIFA World Cup to play around. Instead, they're looking ahead Growing Eolving The future of football and Hyundai isn't coming, it's already here. Isn't that incredible Hyundi. official partner of the twenty twenty six FIFA World Cup You know, when it comes to health and wellness, you have to trust what you're putting in your body. You can't just grab anything, close your eyes and jam it in your mouth hole. That's not the way to go. Yeah. Whether you're tackling fitness goals, a wellness routine or shopping for family essentials, IRB is one stop shop for vitamin supplements, sports, nutrition, personal care, and even grocery baby and pet products They do it all. For nearly thirty years, IHerb has delivered authentic wellness products sourced directly from trusted brands and authorized partners to more than fifteen million customers worldwide. And if something doesn't meet your expectations, IHerb makes it right with easy returns and simple refunds. visit erb dot com and use code Conan for twenty percent off your order Hey Roni's disease also known as PD, is a condition that isn't talked about often, but it's more common than many men realize. Some men may even feel embarrassed or reluctant to bring it up PD may involve a buildup of scar tissue that forms under the skin of the penis, which can cause a noticeable curve of a bump during an erection That curve can lead to pain during intimacy. It also may affect a man's confidence and mental health.. It also can lead to frustration, depression, lowered self esteem, and even withdrawal from sexual activity and physical intimacy If you notice a curve with a bump down there, it might be PD. The good news is it's treatable. A urology specialist can diagnose Perony's disease and talk through treatment options. To learn more, visit talkaboutpD d. com You have this crepe You know I use the term origin story a lot on the podcast, but you have this moment you're interested in music clearly and you know you have a facility with music. I made it clear. Well There' a keyboard in front of you, which Al Pacino did not have. But you went to Catholic school? I did, yeah you had a moment in Catholic school when is this correct an organist, someone who who played the orgon For you guys in a, you know, at a mass or something wasn't present Do we have an organ sound? I don't think we do Yeah. Did we get you this or did you bring it? I brought it. just because it has my initial CP on it.er nice It's not my piano. I just it's tiny enough or it's not super That's self involved that you need your name on everything. veryy narcissistic. Okay. I saw your license plate on your car when you drove' poth rules. Yes. Poth's in here. Yeah. But yes, the church organists didn't show up and they were going to play it It was the time of life where they would play things on tape. I don't know if that exists anymore, but they were going to play the whole mass on tape and awkwardly pause it and they sometimes wouldn't pause it correctly. and I was like, I know the whole U'm mass from memory. I've heard the songs so many times. because I thought it was like if you look at a with a deer on it, you're going to remember what the deer looks like. If you you know have a bit that you have to memorize, like if you read it enough, you're going to remember eventually if you read it enough times. I thought that was the same thing for everybody just with sound And apparently it wasn't typical, and that's how I discovered it. it's funny that you thought, well, wait a minute, okay, the organist is in here, the person was supposed to play. But how can make this about me? Yeah. Well, I would do that, but then have nothing to back it up. But you thought to yourself, Oh, I've heard these a bunch of times, so I'll just go up and play them and you didn't know that was unusual No, I didn't because again, I thought it was just like if you study for a vocabulary test, if you need to memorize the definition of whatever and not the word whatever. I know actually what is the definition of Anh re you read a bunch of definitions. You're going to memorize them because you heard it so many or you read it so many times. I attributeed the same feeling with sound. If I hear a James Taylor song ten times, I'm going know it. right away. Right. It endlessly fascinates me. That's why I that fascinates me too. I love your TikToks. I really love your TikToks because and this is where it all started. I love when you explain something that I've been hearing and it's around But now you're explaining why so many songs sound like this. I remember watching one, I forget what it's called, but that whole trend in music where there's a soft and alloud, a soft and allowoud and a soft and alloud oscillating And it's become such of a side chain compression. Side chain compression, which we little Yeah. And it'sress That was so cool. Yes. I'm sorry. you want me to do it again? Oh. no, no. you mean what Charlie Charlie was doing She meant what Charlie was doing musically was the one you were interested in. That's what I like. You Were you trying to beatbox? No were you doing? I was choking on a chicken bone. Okay, that that makes sense. But so no, but what you were doing was You start explaining what that is and I realize I have heard that a million times. And it's always associated with like a club. It's in like every, you know, episode of Euphoria. there's people crying, crying with lots of makeup and it's like Whatever you do, please, I don't want to do it again. Like That sounds like a p stress or something So I don't understand you really love this you want to do this? That's exactly what you do it. please beg you. So everybody under like if you went up to someone on Larchmont right now and it was like, what does dance music sound like? they would go, they would put their hands if you're in New Jersey, they would put their hands in the other be like that's my goal is so everyone knows that that's like, you know, the broad terminology of like what dance music sounds like, but My goal is to like take it one step further for people for them to understand that all that is is just volume automation. you know, ring fing rising falling risingising falling, It's just volume down, volume up, volume down, volume up But then what's cool is you talk about how a lot of people would think, okay, that's in club music now Yes it is, but you'll say, well They were doing it in the seventies with in the sixties with this, then the seventies they, you know, a summer and a summer. It wasn't as obvious though. It was just more of like a way to it was more of like a really secret engineering tricks. Right, a little spice that they're putting in and not telling anybody And then everyone exaggerates it more and more and more. It's like in so many other things in music, you can hear something's going on in Sun session records in the nineteen in nineteen fifty four, fifty five. and it's Now we can say, well, it's kind of just sounds kind of very much country. But at the time it sounded very different to people because and then people just kept tweaking it and tweaking it and it became Yeah, you know. I mean, everybody wants more of what they like. So ye like when I first heard the black album, Metallica, like sad but true, L that the really bright nineties lars Yeah bu like a motorcycle in like metal kind of kind of sound. Th then I started hear that came from or might have been inspired by like living on a prayer, Bon Jovi or like another Mutlang record where They were experimenting with but where did what came before living on a prayer? I'm generalizing. like in the air tonight, Phil Collins, bigig Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins gated drum sounds. everything you can trace the cool thing about music is that you can trace everything back to something. Yes. And that's the thing that's true of my business has been comedy And it is so important for people to know no one's coming along with a fresh slate. Everybody is coming to there craft, call it a pastime, call it a career, whatever. They're all coming to it with this gumbo that they grew up eating You know, that was just a mix of so many other influences and everybody's starting with that. So you could, you know, you could say, oh my God, the the most hardcore thrash metal. Yeah. But those guys will tell you, well, actually, I was listening to you know, Areo Speedwagon in high school and you'd be like, wait a minute, AreEo Speedwagon and I'm making this up because I don't think that's possible. No, but I like you know what I mean? they heard something in that that then they extrapolated and pulled out and got to where they wanted to go.ike Do you remember the first time you ever saw I guess the video or the of like Kinnison at Dangerfields. Yeah when you just got up there and started Yeahll, yelling. Yeah. yeah Had anybody done that in comedy before where they just like, I just back from a seven l sc Mar. Like like I Dce had his like, you know, a cigarette behind the ear kind of like stick and everything like that, but like where Did come from an Netdie Murphy sce? didid that come from a There' Brian Regan not cursing at all in his bits. I don't know if you're enemies of these people or No. I hope you're friendly with all of them. You haveve not named an enemy yet. But if you keep going no, don' I don't have enemies. I would listen to like two thousand five Dane Cook where he's cursing all over the place, but then I'd hear like a couple of years prior, Brian Rean where he wasn't. It was like, maybe he was listening to that but just like added in curses for like extra effect. Like I think a lot of comedians are also musicians too because I think that there's a lot of parallels. Well we talk about this a lot. I bring it up a lot because it fascinates me. everyveryone in comedy envies musicians, I believe, whether they consciously or unconsciously do it, I very consciously Evy musicians because I I was looking at a musician as U someomeone who's not judged moment to moment And I envy that. but meaning. Well no, but not what I'm saying moment time doing. I mean, when you start and you play One of your songs People aren't buing I like this part. Oh, no, I don't like that part. Oh, but I like this part again. Oh, but I don't like this part now. That's not how they think about music. That is very much Comedy is moment to moment. like you get a laugh and then you you do another thing and like less of a laugh And then sometimes like o and then like oh, yeah. And I don't think that happens in music. And I think I've always envied If you go out and play your hits Everyone's going to be so happy the whole time. Springsteeen's back out there now Yeah with the East Street band. and I think I got to go to that show. Yeah. it's going to be amazing. But no one's no one's no one's saying, okay, I like this this part of this song. I don't like this part as much. But no comic ever gets to the point where they're not judged, I think, moment to moment in my opinion I'm sure Bruce has had fans who are like Do we have to hear the fucking rising one more time? Do we have tot let's get to Gory Days. Let's get to Yeah I've I was I just put out an album and of course, I'm like Any artist that says that they're not reading reviews or scouring the internet is lying. I am like I look at this I look at these reviews as much as my child. I you nurture them. You nurture them. I take them too seriously. sometometimes my wife tells me to stop looking at them. I saw this one and everyone's entitled to their opinion. I saw this one review saying that Charlie just put out an album And it is just another soulless attempt at trying to be an artist and that really hurt my feelings because I actually did. I put my heart and soul in this and I didn't make this album to make a bunch of hit songs. I wanted to actually talk about, you know, fatherhood, my family and like and other things like that. And they're like, Bh doesn't have a catchy hook. It's like I've You know I had my song attention, You just wantna attention, you just want. I had that song out. It was a number one record and we couldn't sell three thousand tickets in I think it was Chicago, it was like two thousand tickets. two thousand people is a lot, but it was a tour meant for five, six thousand people. I've had hit songs out. peopleople knew the hits more than they knew me. goal from this album was for people to know me. Yeah. And sometimes I get jealous of comedians because you know their personality. Like when first time I saw Ralphie May, I's like I became obsessed with like Greg Geraldo and like I just I felt like I knew their personality. Yeah. They've both passed, haven't they? Yeah. That's okay. man. I just named two people it passed. o. It happens, you know, But like you know what I mean? Like I know you I feel like I know you because I've obviously grown up watching you and like your delivery, it's like you are who you portray yourself to be. And where as a musician it takes a couple of years for people to get to know you unless you just nail it right out of the park. That's interesting to me that you have worked so many great artists and then you yourself have had so many hits. People know your name and now you're saying, yeah, I really want to get into the Autobiographical part of songwriting and have people connect to you that way. That makes perfect sense to me. As far as critics go There's no escaping Citicism And I got to a point in my career where I don't look for it. I have You know, sometimes you are just confronted whether you want to know it or not with the good and the bad But And usually people tell you, if there's something really mean about you out there, you'll find out because your garbage man will say, Hey, did you see that? know And I'll say, well, I didn't, but thank you. I don't think you're the worst fuckad in the world. Well, I appreciate that. Why are eating so much dairy? Yeah. Yeah. Now the dairy is another issue. We'll talk about the dairy Codating your stomach for the morning Yeah But I would agree with your wife that you don't I don't think it's necessary to seek it out because you know when you're doing work that you like that's important to you and So that's why I would agree with her that you going on the internet and looking for what do people think about Charlie Poh is unnecessary. I don' know it though. I mean, it and I totally agree with you. It is completely unnecessary, but like it's it's almost like it's almost like high school. You just like want validation sometimes. You poured your heart and soul into this and you just want people to att least like take a listen to it and understand, But and there are so many there's millions of people that already have it. Listen, I'm coming across as if I'm scolding you or telling you, this is ridiculous. I completely understand what you're saying But I've spent a lifetime around people. that are looking for validation and then they're like, well, first I got to do this sold out series of concerts at Madison Square Garden. and then I'm getting knighted in England. and then I have to go to Spain where they're actually making me a member of the royal family. You know, And it's just one of these funny things about human beings. And trust me, anyt timee I do anything I think this is the test of whether I'm any good or not And I recalibrate every time I set all the clickers back to zero. I think you guys could agree that all the clickers go back to zero and it's like you're giving a small toast Mle. At a Christmas. Party Yes, I know, But these are good friends of mine and this has to be the greatest toast of all time. And if it isn't, I'm nothing I'm telling you that yes, we're all ridiculous people But at the same time, because I'm not you, I can say, you do not need to be hunting on the internet and reading, o good, someone wrote something nasty. I need to read every single word of it because I don't think it serves you. It doesn't serve your creativity. I don't think it's doing anything. No, it doesn't. And you don't know what that person's going through whichich is They, you know, they made it, they wanted to do what you're doing possibly, or they have biases.f course they do. I've had interactions like that before. There was this like bartender who was Re to me and then I I was I was I'm never rude to people L I always have that mentality of like they might be going through something. And it turns out that like he didn't get into the school that I went to and like it seem very well aware that I went to that school. It all had to do very little with the fame aspect, with the school aspect. And then I ended up having a great conversation with him about music R W this Berkeley? This was somewhere in Woodstock, Vermont. But I mean it was the school Berkeley. Oh, the school was Berkeley, yeah. Yeah. Ever been to Woodstock, Vermont? Yes, I have. Gorgeous. Yeah. Beautiful. New England. And yet this person's living in beautiful Woodstock, Vermont and they're bitter and angry You know, maybe not anymore. No. I think after they they already had a resentment towards you, then they met you and you were really nice Yeah He's twice as bitter now. And he's nice. Yeah. It should have been a dick is what you're saying. If you had been a dick, then this guy would have be so happy right now. I'm glad I'm not here. do. But now he's I mean he's probably not alive anymore. I'm just gonna put it out. God just took a turn. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think there's a good chance that person No longer walks the earth and it's your fault. But anyway, let's move on. G U I I gotta get into music because I can't be a comedian anymore. you're sick. I'm just a broken man. You're so sick. but It's going to be fine. It's like when you watch the sitcom and you hear like, you know, the They're there. Everything's be okay. then and then you hear the audience clapping like, h. Yeah yeah. And then you have to and then like cousin Uncle Jessse comes in and you have to some sort of like comedic breakup be like, anybody w to go get tacos? And then the credits fucking roll Go on tour. G on tour. And this is a big tour. Big tour. What's the name is it named after your album? It is the Whatever's clelever worldorld tour And I will be on stage with my band And they're the best band in in the music industry. they make me sound so good. And it's just a joy to share the stage with them every single night If they come to a show, I would love to come to a show come to the form. Maybe if you want me to come out singing a song. I I know this is coming. so I want to save you the embarrassment. No, I'm serious. And you just you throw out a key because I also have perfect pitch. I feel like you actually might Comedically, I have perfect pitch. I never o wait, I just did that thing about a guy killing himself. Yeah, was What's another song that we might all know that you like like, you know, something in the way she moves, James Taylor, Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond. What's it?it Pit bu. I was mocking him with I was doing a pit buull sing book earlier. I wrote a pitbull song. Which one It didn't do very well, but I wrote one. It was called o God, it was a part of a movie. This was back in twenty fourteen. Was it men in Black It was men in bllack. It was you no, it was called celebrate And It was a I just want to celebrate and then he did his thing. And we've been around the world same song. I'm Pit Bowen Yeah. I'm Pit Bowen, I'm here to say I'm gonna rock the USA. My God I was driving in to work today and I was flipping around FM radio, which I never do just randomly and I heard this song. and I'm like, what is that? And they were Whoever the rapper was, I find out later on, it's pit buull was sampling Baby. you're the one down this nineteen fif late fifties or sixties hit. And What does what is that song call? Because what I was going to ask you is if you can a song that you like and see if it's actually K of O song.. I'm gonna sing H run away and we're going to get in trouble because we can't do these songs, but I' very qu expens I guess that I am. Yeah I forggetot Well, don't sing don't even sing just sing sing the first song sing the first note of a song that you like. Well, let's see. Wow, this is incredible. Like do you know sweet Carola sweet Caroline Yeah, not so. I mean, I hear the way the Boston Red Sox crowd sings it and we know they've been drinking and they've got forty days. you sing a lot. I to give you forty days. So that's Ronny Hawkins and the Hwks forty days How about Jack Whiteon? he We' going be friends. Ideally a song. know so I can see if he's correct. you know we are going be friends. Fall is here, herear the your stump back. I usually know every song. Okay, it's a very famous song and I'm ashamed of you U you get very good We we can get off it if you want, but like I just know I feel like I want to hear this.uid byam Stupid drawback your bullets or what the fuck' going on wrong with yout know that Sam. I don't know so that you could live I mean this I gott to bring it up into that time What about a Beetle song? Oh Bele song. Of course we all know those help and need somebody help I think that's a B minor. It starts off in Yes, it is. Okay so. I need some. Is that didid I just sing in B minor? Well you're doing it in D minor to Yeah. Yeah I fixed it. Theat I often fix Beatle songs. If you know the first chords of B minor, so yeah definitely have some extra recollection. I do. I remember that. That's fascinating. Okay You know, when it comes to health and wellness, you have to trust what you're putting in your body. You can't just grab anything, close your eyes, and jam it in your mouth hole. That's not the way to go. Yeah. Whether you're tackling fitness goals, a wellness routine or shopping for family essentials, IRb is one stop shop for vitamin supplements, sports, nutrition, personal care, and even grocery baby and pet products They do it all. For nearly thirty years, IHerb has delivered authentic wellness products sourced directly from trusted brands and authorized partners to more than fifteen million customers worldwide. And if something doesn't meet your expectations, Ierb makes it right with easy returns and simple refunds. visit ierb dot com and use code Can for twenty percent off your order Hey, this summer, if your group chats thrown around, we should get away, consider Scotttsdale, Arizona. Yeah. Sure it's warm That's kind of the point, isn't it. The summer in Scotttsdale comes with some very cool perks like luxury resort rates starting at just one hundred nine dollars a night for a luxury resort? Yeah. signign me up Ease into your trip and get your Xanon with sunrise yoga, evening stargazing and generous summer specials at Aa Spas, Area Spas. sign me up Or book a sunrise tea timee at a world famous golf course at rates way less than usual Plus summmer is the easiest time to land a reservation at Scottdill's award winning restaurants You know, the ones people usually humble brag about getting into. Do you ever do that? Yeah, I Yeah, I got to that resort. Sure I did. Yeah. No shortage of indoor air conditioned spots to visit museums, boutiques, art galleries in the southwest largest shoppingall. I've driven through Sottdale. It's very nice there. I like Scottsdale. It's fun. It's a good time. Visit summerscottsdale dot com and start planning your trip Have you got an ass than Du trading compomany is for you. I'm just reading what they wrote, folks For decades, Duluth has been making workwear for harder workers. You got an ass Sona? Yeah, I do. Well, Duluth companies for you from highly abrasion resistant pants too heat beating work shirts, Duluth empowers you to take on life with your own two hands. Ready to bolster your Nether regions? What the hell? Duluth Naked undernders are the no pinch No stink No sweat solution when your junk drawer is on life support. Oh God. They went my God They went too far. Yeah and you read it, you read it all. D didnidn't even ask any questions. I just blacked out and it came out of my mouth. So you do your glutes a favor. Shop at a Duluth trrading store near you or at duluthtrading dot com dot Duluth trrading for folks who work their butts off Okay, I'll admit something. you talk about this song where you make fun of your prior self or Yes and talk about how I used to be cringe. And I think one of the reasons I identify with that song is that I always want on this podcast to underscore that that is the human condition. It's not the Conan O'Brien condition. It's not the Charlie Pouth condition. It is the human condition that we are very self critical and we the former our former selves were illegitimate and then we've slowly worked our way to legitimacy. or we're not quite there yet, but we will be someday. And I think that's just a fallacy. I think we so your song was about how I used to do this. I used to wear my hair differently. I used to try and throw out these words to seem cool And I think yeah, this song is is special was was resonated with me just because I think do that about musicians. I think they're real, you know, They're real because you can sit here and you can make magic with this keyboard and you can write these songs that two billion people will listen to. And I think, oh, that's many, many levels above what a comedian does. And I think a lot of comedians do that I think a lot of us lower ourselves around musicians. because I just I think we put musicians on a pedestal and maybe rightfully so because to yourself, you just sang the fucking national anthem, right? to me But I under I sing it as high as I think I could sing it. But this is very I didn't know that this was going to be so introspective. This is very continuous Sorry. I won' I won't No I every now and then some real stuff breaks out here and we try to clean it up in editing Yeah and add fart sounds. Why do you think you comedians will lower themselves when they'? I think so. Comedians are all about they're well defended You know, there're it's all about eep the conversation moving. Keep the conversation moving slip and move and make fun of yourself before someone else can make fun of you. There's a lot of tricks that we all employ Because really we're just protecting ourselves. lot of a lot of really funny comedians grew up not being able to fight. and this is what we could do And so it literally is kind of a weapon, it's a survival mechanism. And these aren't new observations. This is as old as time. do think that a lot of comedians can grow up thinking, yeah, I do this because I literally had to to make my mark or survive in some way, not literally survive, but survive these social situations. And then music just feels so instantly like, oh my God, that's great more of that. You know, when you come across someone who's playing the piano really well, you just think instantly, oh my God that's Like God is speaking through them. I was I don't think we think that way about comedy. God is not speaking through me. and if he was, God should be sued. But you know what I mean? And so I'm not this isn't false modesty. This is what I really believe is that when someone is playing with These u sounds and manipulating them in a way and creating these patterns seemingly without effort. I know there's a lot of practice involved. I know there's a lot of work But when they sit down and they're just messing around and you see the film get back the recut recut version of Let it Be When you see that and you see Paul McCartney sitting with his bass and he's frustrated because they need a song and he just starts over and over again bang and then you see it become the song get backack Yeah through sheer force of will and creativity and he does it in real time. And it's this song that again, is in my head and I could make noises to simulate it I know the seni you're talking about. Yeah. and he's just there with his mean They need something and he just keeps with a base, which I did not think of as a songwriter's instrument I think it's guitar or it's often keyboard or piano, but he's there with a bass and he's just and he's like, okay, yeah, yeah, I see what it is now. It's J donon't sing too much you left to pay. McCarney isn't cheap. And McCartney will he's monitoring this stuff right now himself. He listens to this podcast because he knows culture I got you seeee what you've done? Be he's the master of T none of this is like all of this is not even about me. It's not for if a musician, the reason Well, not the reason. This is how I'll say it. musicians that make it all about themselves are the first to fall, in my opinion, because like it's not this I didn't invent this chord. This is like some go particle thing. and then we apply our human experience chords Like that sounds ugly. but like when you put like it starts to resolve. like ye that does something that can make anybody if there were a hundred people in here and I like a fire alarm, everybody would like, you know, winince and the cover their ears, but you can they're not gonna to do that if I do and be like They're not going there's a difference. L you can do that. That's a very primitive example, but like you can do that through intervals and chords and then hour goal as humans and job as humans to put our experience in what was made for us already. Yeah. stage was set. You know what it's interesting. The parallel that I always find is because There are certain rules that exist Obviously and Greek tragedy. I mean the Greeks invented so much G great salad by the way. Oh Geez. But I just looked at Sona because she's Park Creek. Like I invented the salad No, your people did. and I'm proud of you. Yeah. You're welcome. My God feels amazing every time you've made. Welcome. Welcome. But you know, there's dramatic structure There's dramatic structure. and if you look you know, plays, novels, any story has a dramatic structure, sitcoms have a structure Uh, you know, and then you look at A lot of it is creating tension and then resolving tension. And that's what so much of music is is, you know, You then you're on the E youre on the you know, and then you get back to the A and you're just like there's this feeling of Yeah, happy, happy It's sad. Yeahah Happy tension resolve. Yeah And it's just I think it's The soundtrack for Vost mood stabilizer commercials is, you know someone's, I don't feel good. I don't feel good. But then you tried Milliastra, you know, and then Yeah ye. So yeorts and it's usually a ukulele or something. Yeah ye. then and then all the side effects. Yeah Yeah. Side effects include massive diarrhea, more diarrhea. Your diarrhea will have diarrhea U peopleople near you will have diarrhea. That's called sypathetic diarrhea. They change the key Yeah they change the key a bit. It's also diarrhea a higher key. But you know that I remembered there's a I'm trying to think which there's a ly and a higher key is what tour should be called. Yeah Go on a tour. Or just open with that song. I think it's cashmere, you know, Denant D. Yeah, we really got to be careful because Jimmy Page, Jimmy Page is on the same. he's watching on the same zoom with Sir Paul. Oh, there he goes. That's a song that stays forever and then it's mean, these are very simple elemental changes. You know, and I don't know I don't know that song that well. It's not in my head, but you know, it's like it's in It's almost like it's in E for a long time. and then it goes to E seven. And so you can sort of see like the ice is starting to break and it it's agonizingly long and then suddenly it goes to like A. And every time that happens, every time I hear it in any context I think I've just seen the face of God. and it's the simplest move in the world, but that is I think what a lot of people in comedy do as well, which is you create this tension of what this person is saying is completely outrageous and then Laughter is the resolution. Yeah. People laugh and it's like, oh good We're out of that long sustained E seven and now we're into an A m it's like Yeah. Yes, this person just saved the day. and what it is is creating this unbearable tension and then breaking it. You know it I've just ruined everything by trying to explain No it's hate this. I knew walking in here that I was there were, you know, your staff was wonderful. They were like, you's It's going to be fun. It's like, yeah, I know it's going to be fun, but what you're not telling me is that it's going be thought provoking. I always have really interesting awwesome conversations with Dave Chappelle, yourself, Will Ferrell. It's never I feel like the common misconception when you have a sit down with a comedian or actor is that they're going to be one hundred percent that person that you' thinking of. Right. there's so much more to that. everyvery time I Will's a really good friend of mine, I'm sure you know him as well. He's an enemy. Okay, he's an enemy. And so is Chappelle. You just nameam my two arch enemies. I just have I hate those guys And they have no talent. None. None. None, sad what happened to them. Anyway, continue. My media training is. Whatever you do, don't mention Will Ferrell or Dldacone'Brian because he hates them. No, they are two just have They are two spectacular geniuses. I'm noting slaing in my knee laughing and talking to them kind of like really intrigued what they have to say because there's a lot of parallels drawn. Well, it's the same thing that happens to me if I'm talking to you know the times that I've had a chance to ave a conversation with, say a Paul McCartney. I don't walk away thinking, what the hell was that? He made no music while we spoke. You know? And it's the same thing because the first time I met Steve Martin years and years and years ago when I was a writer on Saturday Night Live, I went into the meeting to pitch him ideas thinking he's gonna to have an arrow through his head. like nineteen seventy eight nineteen seventy nine Yeah, he's going, you know, there's part of you that thinks that's you're going to be talking to and what Yeah, exactly that it would be that era. That's the era that I first that's how I first experienced Steve Martin. and then you walk in and it's this Very, very serious. sererious is a heart attack guy who's trying to figure out what he's going to do that week talking in a very soft spoken voice And he can access that, but he's not going to do that right now. So So that's fascinating me. ye. Yeah So I am me all the time. I guess I if you see me at Chipotle, I'm not going to be how you see me on the internet. So I guess that's it's the same thing. It's I have, you know, days where I'm super quiet and I don't want to be L music, music music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. and there are days where it's the last thing you probably I don't want to do that today. I just want to watch Doug H you ever seen Doug D Muro on cars? Cars andbids dot comot I I don't think I know that. I don't know it's just this super niche community of car lovers of the modern era. Like if I can tell you all you need to know about the Saturn view. Oh wow. I just I love Cars of the modern era Cars of the modern era. anythingy below seventies, like I don't know what a fucking seventy nine Corvette is supposed to look like. But I can tell you everything about the the Sion XB. The leaf. Do you know anything about? The lef onleaf I love E phones, I like that. Oh that guys just going walk on and on about. Okay. I got this Nissan leak. And you know, it runs at forty watts. I bumped it up to forty one. This sucker will do out of the gate. It'll do thirty five miles per hour at top speed. I do know the statistics if it's a straight for cylinder, but it's you got four under that hood In that least What do you got in that least? You got a four? Like, do you know what I said about? I think about when my wife's trying to watch her heated rivalries and whatever. I lay I lay down and think, why did the Yukon Denali in two thousand two? I'm serious. Why did GMC have this beautiful insignia on this chrome door handle on the Yukon Denali in two thousand two? And then in the two thousand three model year, they got rid of it crazy.'re gonna say I'm making this up. I have my notes here for the conversation Dali right here. Why did they lose it on the door? rightight here Bieve me Did you believe me?' I know. I'm very into an interview with Charlie Pooh to talk about daly. I just brought it off. I didn't know. I thought he just pctioned it. I don't know.. I thought he was serious too. Thank you, Charlie. I have a way of committing. Yes I'm going to say something because we ran out of time a while ago and I'm we've been keeping it going because I having too much fun. I was having so much fun. I'm shocked you haven't been here before and our booker Paula Davis I went to her a while ago and I said, let's get Charlie Ph on. I love him. I watch his TikToks and she said, No, not going to do it. notot gonna do it. And I kept pushing her and she was like No, No no. She was like, No, we're not gonna do it. We're doing it. And I said, Why Why can't we have Charlie on the show? And she said, 'cause you can't handle the ph I gotta go I gotta go. I can't do this anymore. I gotta go. Oh ye God I gota go Is it the end of the podast? Oh yeah, it's done. It was good working with you. That was awful. Jesus Christ. You can't handle the ph. You can't handle the pooh. Listen, I am so m I thought it was just because I was just recently taken seriously, like a year ago. I feel like people are finally likeike actually taking No, it's because it lines up so perfectly with you can't handle the truth. And when I took hold on. Let me explain explain let me explain Let me explain. And then your last name's Pooh. And so I took this iconic what's this? Oh you can't give me thumbs down on this. explaining it. That's the problem. And now we're going Iagine I'mata Nicholson. Yeah, You cant handle the poof. No. That' a bad you did it. That's a great, great bit. Did it? I don't understand. I think we're done. No, no, no. It did Okay. This is how I wish we had started And I wish this had happened in the middle and then at the end as the resolution. I see U Charlie, that cup has been empty for a while. You're just looking for a way out. Lukewarm irwan bone broth No, what are you talking about? You are a phenomenally talented young fellow and I'm I just knew because I also I see your sense of humor too when I watch your videos. I'm like, okay This guy does what I wish I could do and he's funny and you're a massive success. So I was really happy trip to me because you are such a mass massive success and I haven't grown up watching you. and it's like now it's just so full st.one of none of that stuff, I don't know. I don't think of myself that like This is me being as honest as I think I can be, which is Um, I have been incredibly lucky and I love getting to do this thing whatever it is. I won't put a name to it What I love about these conversations is trying to get to something that I don't think I'm ever going crack Which is there's this thing we're all trying to figure out