My High Tolerance For Medication

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Oh no. Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions. then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you say? Yeah, all the time. Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that. Bull spend. Bull spin. Yeah, instead you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull spend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash Conan Terms Apply. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash callcon. Okay, let's get started. Hello, Conan O'Brien here. Normally uh this would be a fan interaction of some kind. This is the drop. I call it the drop. where uh where you know I I talk to somebody in the world and those are fun. Today we're gonna do a little something uh different. And and this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting. word on um My gummy situation. Uh huh. Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation. Not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies. Sure did. And um you they're lovely looking. It's these canisters that are just gorgeous. Yeah. Uh and They're gummies. You got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Isn't that true? Yes, I did. What were some of the gummies uh refresh my mind. Some of 'em were to, you know, liven you up, maybe put some pep in your step. Yep. Uh they're all I I'm I'm gonna say they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet. It's probably in the mail. Better be. Maybe Also maybe they're on brand and they're taking their time. They can't get off the couch. Like they're all stoners there. Well it's a fun little riff. You say so. Yeah, pretty funny. Okay, anyway. Yeah, but we gotta we didn't send those? I forget, man. Um now they're never sending you anything. They all different flavors, you know, I I I s I g I Gave you a bunch, thinking that it could help you. You gave me a bunch and I was excited. I was looking at them all and I thought this could really change my life, maybe uh you know, I've I've a lifetime, a lifetime of being on it. Um we you can fill in the blankets. Type a gotta follow the rules. Follow the rules. L seven. Yeah. I don't know what bluh but the but I mean when you go buy the. But the but the but the the but that's how I I don't that's my impression of you. It's like oh gosh, guys, don't do that. Guys, guys, it can dry your brain cells, everybody. Yeah. So you were just you're a straight lace. I think that's fair to say. Yeah. It's not a bad thing. after what you just did after that whole run. I think it's a terrible thing. It's not bad being a cyborg. Um Yeah. So I need to come clean. Uh people are probably we we think fans are saying, Oh my God, Conan got these gummies, what happened? 'Cause he promised he was gonna go off and and do them. And this is the hilarious part. It's now been I think two weeks. Yeah, it's been a minute. Yeah, it's been a minute. Well I just said two weeks. So no idea. Well not factual. Um appropriate time spent. Here's this here's the update, and I think this is gonna have to be a work in progress. I have turned taking gummies into a chore. I have turned taking gummies. into a I'll get to it. I just have to slot it in. I know. That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently the best gummies one can get. Yes, yes. Um He mean they mentioned his mean. Chichin Chong work there? Yeah, they do. So um Uh I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one. And literally I wanna say less than half. First of all, they're delicious. They are. They are really uh they taste great, and I think paired with the right wine, fantastic. Oh, so anyway, I had I wanna a quarter. I'm like that's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you, Eduardo. And Wardow basically. And Wardo look so disappointed. And Wardo. Famously. Called me. A little bitch. On the podcast. Um Because he uh He heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy. Uh, so anyway, you're being proven right, Eduardo. 'Cause what I've managed to do in two weeks is I think on two occasions nibbled on maybe a quarter of one. And it looks like a very tiny mouse got it one. That's what it looks like. I mean the smallest mouse that ever a mouse embryo lived long enough to nibble on the corner Of a sleep gummy. And Yeah, I'm a redhead, so I'm very tolerant. So of course I've felt nothing so far. And that's nothing on Camino, big supporter. He meanks, man. But uh, you know, I haven't gone whole hog. Now there's another one. gets you uh w w it's exhilarating. It's called like no, there's one called chill. Oh yeah, chill, chill. I don't need to be exhilarated because let's face it, I was born Um kinda leaning into life. Yeah. And I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. Chill is the one that interested me. I have not tried one yet. And I'll look at it and I'll go, Well, um, can I get to that tonight? I don't know. Yeah. Go ahead. Uh, when you when you said that you you're treating it like a chore, I did I think we were on the phone on Friday and David was there. And I I begged you to take the to try it over the weekend and you like kinda groaned and Because Adam is like, We need this. The fans need to Adam is always you we wielding his whip and Adam is like, You need to get to this. This needs to be a segment and the fans are waiting and you're about to leave for your next travel show and you'll be gone for two weeks. And I started going, okay. So I've got a guy on the phone. Nagging me. Could have been Someone from the IRS saying, do you gotta file your return on the fifteenth, and I'm going, I'll get to it. I just haven't had it. I've got to go find a shoebox of receipts. That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where does this come from? Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like Yeah. Gummy? I think you have to. Okay. Put it in my calendar. So I'm a side is that it? I'm like R T. You're just you're you're overthinking it. Look. If you don't want to do it, that's fine. We're not peer pressuring you. Are we peer pressure? That's the dictionary definition of what you're doing. You are my peers. Yeah. And you are exerting enormous Edward called me a little bitch. That was just an observation. That wasn't peer pressure. Just an observation between your little bitch Adam calling me Anxiously and saying we gotta get on this. Um yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little bit of pressure. But I'm I'm going to I'm gonna do it. Uh I'm just If we can be real here for a second. I come from, you know, I as you know, my dad. Uh a doctor. Um and he I mean, I just grew up he was against us taking anything. I mean You know, aspirin was like a big leap. Do you know what I mean? And so That's why that's probably he was high all the time. My dad? I don't know. Yeah, he was. You know my dad was Jamaic. He was Jamaican. He was in a ska group in the fifties. No, my dad was in a sc a very good ska band in Jamaica. And then he uh emigrated to Boston in the late fifties and um his stage name was O'Brien. And uh then he uh cut his hair and Microbiologist. Bregan Women's Hospital in Boston. Well, I think your dad would have been more on board with you, you know, taking an edible than doing like taking an antibiotic, for instance. So I think he would have been on board with a lot of the things you would have been okay with the correct antibiotic. Okay. My dad was uh, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about. After his ska band. Yeah. Well His I'm sorry, his ska band was Antibiotic resistance. really was unpopular in Jamaica. And Jimmy Cliff was telling him you gotta change that. And he was like, hey man. You know, and it it's a whole thing. I mean I Uh so anyway, um he uh he would have been in favor uh he was in favor of antibiotics. This is no my dad was not like an RFK junior. He was in favor of the right, correct Antibiotic. He just didn't like it when people took the shotgun approach to antibiotics, which is a major problem. Yes. And has caused a lot of uh resistant bacteria and been a huge issue. And I bring that up in my dad's memory. Uh and I think he was correct. Obviously he was correct. But anyway. Um get back getting back to the fun part, I think that Uh no. My dad would have been like, What? You don't take something that But you wanna relax? That would have said. You wanna relax? You wanna you wanna not be on guard for a second? What are you talking about? So that's the culture I come from. Okay. You know, we we gotta go to Catholic church, we've gotta we've gotta stay on it. And uh that's been my that's been my way. Okay. But I think It's only because you've expressed some interest in it. That's why we we think it'll be nice for you to just do a little dabble. Can I just say that again, no peer pressure. I'm also I'm also up to it, but do it. I'm also intrigued by uh the thought of an orgy. I mean there's a lot of things that There's a lot of things that intrigue me. But I don't think I'll try it. Am I intrigued by the idea of there being nine naked bodies? All of us rolling around on a massive bed. You know, and uh there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things are flipping and flopping. You know, a sharp Sure. Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have. Peroni's disease, also known as PD, is a condition that isn't talked about often, but it's more common than many men realize. Some men may even feel embarrassed or reluctant to bring it up. 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Um Things excite you, but you, oh God forb you know, it's forbidden fruit. You don't go there. So for me, that's the chill gummy. I think I made a big step by eating a quarter. Of a sleep gummy. That is true. And um and you felt nothing. Well, uh, yeah. I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand at all. That's on me. I'm six four. Yes. You know, 193 pounds of pure beef. I'm also a redhead, so Beef. Well, I'm sorry. I am. Very muscular. Yeah. Uh huh. Uh you and people are surprised when they, you know. You you are in great shape. And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half or even a full five milligram would be. I'm not ready to do that yet. That's okay. Baby steps. Also Always operating heavy machinery. That's a regular part of my life. I bought a uh I bought a forklift about a year ago and one of my ways of relaxing is just driving it around the neighborhood. Um, and lifting things and storing them in a warehouse. So you know, you can't. You can't take medication. or gummies before you operate the forklift. Yeah. But no, I'm gonna get to it. I promise, but I think it's This is unintentional. It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited, and I've turned it into something I need. Carve out time for that. Which is so hilarious. It is really funny. The way you're overthinking. Here we go. Well, can I just ask a question, which is You were you're doing it right now? Let's go. Uh which is w which is w you've had beer and wine and alcohol and it wears off. I mean, this is the same thing. It's not like you're gonna take a gummy and then forever you're gonna be. Let me let me address that. Let me let me address that issue. I know exactly what you're saying. And I think it's a fair point. Um I really don't uh you know I I I try not to drink a lot these days. Um and but yeah, I've been in an altered state and boy am I funny. Very I'm really really funny when I've had a few. But But I mean God, it's like whole next level. And if you think this was good, well, you know. We should do a thing where Occo has a couple of glasses of wine and then people are but you know what? It's gonna be like you know, Oppenheimer's Oppenheimer's seeing the big light. People can't handle it. We're gonna have to put on No, seriously, we're gonna have to tell people who listen to the pod Conan's gonna have a couple glasses of wine. Everyone needs to get into uh some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little slit. You have to have glasses made of lead? Because it's gonna be that kind of thing. And then Sirius is gonna call and go, Uh uh you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray. Oh fuck, what are we gonna do now? So anyhow. Be that as it may, uh, yeah, that is a true thing. I think I grew up in that era. Where I mean, I grew up in a dry house. parents didn't drink. There was no liquor in the house. There was nothing. So I took a brave step by having some red wine. You know, I didn't uh so that was my big excursion into the wilderness. Then Uh but then you add gummies, marijuana, and it's it's what's that? Yes. Add I'm glad you're here. No one adds to a story like you. Um I'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it. I I come from that era where if some I mean my uncle, uh, Gavin like jazz cigarettes. My uncle Gavin came to Saturday Night Live and he was he came to a taping of Saturday Night Live and afterwards he was amazed. He saw it live, he got to sit on the floor right in front of where they do the monologue. And he saw GE Smith in the band play, and he came out afterwards. And I remembered Bob Odenkirk and I were standing there and he went, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Band, tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jammed down his bootleg. Oh my God. That's the era I come from. You're you're going to the Netherlands. You're going to the pu like weed capital of the world. Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore because I think LA is the we capital of the world. I mean it's legal. Well they have cafes there. It's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So are you not gonna comes on trips? Who? My wife. Liza's coming. Yeah, but she you know what if I say, Hey, let's hit a cafe and I'll have some wacky tobacky In my booba tee she's gonna say you will not you know? Uh I don't know. I think she'd be into it. No, she's not a Bobby McFarren, you know? She's not a what she's not a don't worry, be happy person. Okay, okay. She's a you better told the line, see? And I'm like, yes, near, no near, yes near, no near. So um and trust me, that is the most spot on impression of my wife. Absolutely. You think you're going to relax and have fun? Watch here. How dare you? Yeah, I so insane. I know. I won't take this Liza blast. She is the mother of my children, uh she is an angel, and I just Totally portrayed her. Maybe there's a grain of truth. Who knows? I don't think she's gonna be the one saying, hey, you better go get fucked up. That's not Liza either. So look, if it was me going on this trip, Sand's my wife, um Uh and Jeff Ross is there going Let's go. Let's get fucked up. Jeff's gonna have the best time on the strip. Yeah, we're gonna have some fun. Yeah. Well, okay. Well you get fucked up in most places we go. Oh, snappity dabby. Yeah. Um he manages to have a good time. That's not the point. The point is I love to say that's not the point. The point is even when no one's disagreeing with me. Nobody's there. I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is Wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to? This is why you need a dummy. You just know what it's like inside your mind. Yeah, this stops. This you just sit. You'll just sit. It's okay. Look, on your own time, don't feel like you have to, but you should. Oh no. I did this on Kimmel, people loved it. Where I frost my face. Yeah. Good for an audio medium. Yeah, everyone listening. Yeah, he's um So I'll get to it. I'll get to the gummy. But you know, that whole thing of Hey Amsterdam. I don't think that holds water anymore. Because literally