Walton Goggins and his intense presence

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That's deell dot com slash deals. Hi, my name is Danny McBride and I feel Thrilling about being Conanan O'Brien's friend. Wait thrilling. You feel thrilling. I thllingrillrill This so cool the way you said it has nothing to do with me. Its to me like plausible that I have anything about? Yes. F is here G Back to school, ring the bell, brand the shoes, walk and looose, climb the fence, hooks and puns. I until little we are gonna be friends. I until little we are gonna be friends Hey there, welcome to Conor and Brian needs a friend It's not just me that does this podcast. I am the beneficiary of having very strong, powerful independent voices joining me One of those is Sona Messessian. Hello, Sona, I welcome. Hello. And how can I welcome you when you already are welcome and you are an integral part of this whole Matt Gor, good to see you as well. and I thank you for your service. No one gets there alone. So here we are together on Comor O'Brien Needs friend and I am What sorry, who are you? My name is Conan O'Brien. No, you're not. And I'm someone who's just filled with gratitude. Glad to be here. Have you been body snatched I was body snatched. I was very tired last night and I fell asleep next to a strange new plant I found. Oh no. I woke up this morning, there was a decayed beady eyed carcass next to me. Yeah. And then my body felt refreshed in my. I like this, whatever If you ever got body snatched, I feel like we'd all know like right away. Yeah. And it would just be you being nice to him Yeah. O not doing bits, just being normal. That's right. That's how you would know. I would just be Hello, Sona, how are you? And How family interesterested in the answer and you would wait for a response. You know, be funny, the minute I If there were body snatchers out there, if I came in and all I would have to do is say Hi, Sona, how are you? And you would shoot me in the head with a shotgun. Yes I would. And you'd be right. Yes, I would. one hundred percent. I would know immediately. I remember there was an episode of the Simpsons back in my time where I think it was one of the Halloween episodes. there's zombies that are taking over Springfield and Homer' shooting zombies left and right. and then Flanders pops up in a window and Homer shoots his head off and someone says How did you know? He was a zombie and he went, he was a zombie. I just always love that joke. He blew Flanders head off. Not even thinking about him being a zombie or not. You shot zombie Flanders Flanders was a zombie. Anyway, no, I just wanted to give credit where creditss due and think this is a village. do together. I know. It's really unsettling. What have you done with I want to talk about something, which is I always have ink on my hands. I don't know if that comes up on the podcast, but I don't think has. I write a lot with pens and I'm constantly doodling and I always have a pen in my hand and I'm constantly writing notes in a journal or on a scrap of paper. And lately I've been using this fountain pen that Jeff Ross got me for my birthday, which is really nice And I use it all the time. And But It does bleed a little bit of ink and I'm constantly does it squirt? What's that Does it squir? What you do novelty? I'm not doing anything. It No, no It's just that when you're working around bottles of ink and stuff like that. and I kind of like it all my life. like an actual fountain pen like there's It's really nice and I'm not this is not ad. I think it's an It's an Aurora. It's really nice. It's a good pen and he got it from me and I really like it. And thanks again, Jeff. And let me try that I use it all the time, but look at my hands and I noticed when we were in We were just shooting a travel show, Sona and you're with me or In all of my different travels, I'm always about to go on camera and I see that there's ink over my right hand everywhere and I just look like a little sl. First of all, feel how warm this is. Whaty is it doing with this pen? What's it? Well I keep it in a safe place? Why is it leaking so much? No It's not really you guys got gota diss the Aurora pen. It's just that Sometimes, no no, no, you got to God, you're not just I'm writing with the pen incorrectly. No. See, whereatever you went like this and with a with with a fountain pen, you need to come at it with an angle. You were coming at it straight down and that's just stupid. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was writing huh? Yeah. Well I know, he's I think he's I always hold it and I flip it around in my hand. Oh, okay. And I always do that with pens. Why are pens like that better than normal pens? I'm not well they're beautiful looking. Yeah, they are. And it's just kind of nice. I've always been a little bit, even when I was a kid, I told you, I loved pens paper I wanted office supplies. Yeah. I mean, what a freaky kid. I wasn't asking for a baseball glove I wanted a little stamp that said Void. I wanted ledgers. I wanted ledgers. I wanted didid you get them? Yeah, my parents were very nice to me. They were they would indulge me, but I remembered thinking, all I want to do is be able to sign forms and then stamp them and then put them in a pneumatic tube like in the nineteen twenties and Home Depot in theies. Exactly. So I just I was always into that o But anyway, I'm just getting a little self conscious now that u You know, I go to these nice events or events where I'm supposed to be on camera and I sometimes I look at the picture later on and there's just, it looks like I've crawled out of a grave. Oh ye. I think you're doing it wrong. What I think you're just writing incorrectly. You know what you need is this from the person who I'm not tal to talk about the I'm just saying angle with what you attack the pageually, there's no ink on my finger, but there is is. You need some of that powder that like Shakespeare would throw on it after they write, you know, that that soaks it up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was just sand back was itad Do you have a quill? I don't have a quill. I've never had a quill. Okay. but I feel like you're a quill guy. I I feel like seen. You're very quillsque. You're real qu. You'veen my blotterers over the years. I would just fill them with what little so many doodles. We kept them all. They were on your. And then when they would fill up, I would replace them and then you Doodle away. blank at them. And you could probably tell my mood if you looked at like, oh, well here's a blotter from nineteen ninety seven. Yeah You could probably tell what was going on in my life. Well, even right now in your journal, you've written in some kind of hieroglyphics. Yeah, I try? No, I just try and create little languages and I like making lines But anyway, that's what I got is that I'm covered ink all the time now and I need to I need to I need to clean up my shit a little bit here. You need go ahead. I've completely stopped using pens and paper. I'm past that. I got a Kindle scribe. that I've started to doodle on, which is great. Yeah. So trying to get a free one? Why would you bring this? No, I'm just saying if you need a solve, you can move into the digital age instead of no, no. You can email yourself notes, it's great I like No offense, but I like the tactile nature.' tactile. Listen, I'm very suspicious, Blay, and for good reason that you mentioned it's a Kindle scribe. because you can take that out because, no, I dont have to take you to leave it in because based on your past behavior, I think you're gonna to try and write that off now. No. I think you are No No I you are. I I was gone for that Blay we gotta talk. if we brought that up again No, no. I too know you're guilty of the same thing m We're gonna continue this in the segment after the interview. It will be actually part four of Blay's tax saga. Tax evasion scandal. And by the way, Blay is guilty of the same thing that put Capone in prison. Okay, takeake us to the intro. Okay ed us today as a hilarious writer, producer, and actor behind such shows as Eastbound and Down, Vice Principes and the Righteous Gemstones, He now has a new book titled Thrilling Tales of Modern Men. Very excited, he's back on the podcast. Jenny McBride Danny, as you know, I'm a massive fan of yours have been since day one. Well the feeling is mutual. And I'm just thrilled that you're here and We have a lot of stuff to talk about, and we'll talk more in depth about it in a little bit But you wrote a book of short stories called Thrilling Tales of Modern Men And you write so well and the stories are great and I And f m proud of you and also jealous because I like to write. I haven't gotten my shit together to do something like this. This is fantastic. and then the thing I'm most jealous of is the first You know, you get you know, known people to write a nice quote on the back. Yours is from Sturgil Simpson Yeah And I love Sturgil Simpson. No he's And so much so that I I have a band on the side And I play Sturgil Simpson and I've said to people, I'd like to get to know Sturgil Simpson and people said, he was on your show. And I'm like, I know, but it's not the same. Like I wish Sturgil Simpson was my friend. He's such a good writer, such a good I think I make that happen. I could I could negotiate that meeting. I' sure I could. ye. It's going to end up with me a suitcase of cash in a parking lot late at night. Yeah where the deal goes down. We'll meet you around the world somewhere at one of your destinations for your show. would love to hung with both of you at the same time. But this book, we will talk about it But I want to start on some other stuff first Which is who the fuck do you think you are? Let me tell you. come let me tell you something. I don't like you and I don't like your comedy. I don't like your southern ways. I'm from Boston C Um, you know, I was Thinking about you, reading up about you. and one of the things that we really have in common was how important Saturday morning cartoons were to us and sort of our comedic outlook You were watching first of all, you took it really seriously. I rememember my brothers and I did too We would study the Saturday morning lineup because it would refresh It was a big thing back day. Now I think new shows come and go all the time But If you're like me, I'm older than you, but I remembered In the summer, you'd start reading about the shows that were going to come out in the fall, what the schedule and the lineup was going to be. You'd circle the ones that were interesting to you in the TV guide. They'd be, you know, you'd talk about it. and then you we were there Saturday morning I would like get up and have coffee. Oh Yeah. And I was like. foundounding it to get goffee. a couple of cigarettes. Yeah. I gotta make it to Surfs. Yeah. And then I would watch these shows with real interest. Yeah. you know. So you were watching Probably the thing that influenced me the most was not a new show. It was Warner Brothers cartoons, you know, Loononey Tunes characters. They influenced my comedy timing, everything And you were into Daffy Duck I was into Donald Duck. Donald Duck. Yeah. I like I't respect that. I like how I like how angry he was. He was always so pissed off and it was just such a funny, so funny against someone like Mickey who just literally never loses his temper. Okay I then he's just buddies with the angriest guy's ever existed. All right, well, I got that wrong. So now we're talking about D Duck is very cool too. I I love Donald Duck because I mean, Daffy Duck because he's He really is disturbingly insane. Yeah, he is. And he can pull his beak off and put it around the back of his head But it me just just he needs to be medicated He needs to go to McLan Hospital in Massachusetts U and we're all laughing, but it's like, no, no, he's we know what this is now. He was on TV now he would get the care that he needs. Yes basically. Yeah. But so you like Donald Duck. Donald Duck is so pissed. Oh, so pissed Yeah And everything, the whole universe is always shitting on him all the time. Yeah, just like. He just has this little blue shirt on just walking around pissed off. That awful blue sh shirt hat. And no pants. And No pants. No pants. Maybe I think Is why his pants. Yeah, it probably is. Walk around with no pants for a while and you'll just be an angry guy. Bust seats hot. Not that hot. It is when you have no pants Uh, so you watched that and you watched My lineup was the Dungeon Dragons cartoon show. That was awesome. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to think of what else came in the littleles do you I don't know if you're you I age. What when you were born? I was born in seventy six. seventy three.. yeah, the little sn. You were a little too old to be watching the little. I be honest. know. I was almost aging. I was a littleer And what I believed into to was disturbing. I just have to admit, I was watching Save by the Bell when I was forty five years old Those kids were girls are pretty Dude, you're forty five You're you're here in an electronic store watch watching say by the bell on nine televisions. You've been here every morning. Yeah. The Lles were awesome though. What are the Lles? I don't even know that is. their theme song was literally We are the Lles. They just said their name and they were just tiny people that lived in someone else's house. Normal people normal people h. But they would like make their beds and stuff out of like matchboxes and they would like design things like that, you know, were full size, but they would use it to their advantage Cut animated. They kind of all look like ellves almost. Yeah somebody should remake that. And Th then you mentioned shirtails. I remember that. That was such a strange concept for a show, which was just animals who their shirts said stuff, right? That was wait, that was Animals that wear clothing. They wear shirts. Yeah wear shirts, and their shirts say things. Yeah, I think they change depending on their emotions and stuff, right? I believe so.' So the shirts are like a mood ring, but they have words on them. And they might not have worn pants. They might have been Yeah. Oh there we go. And see again the trend of no pants. Yeah. justust shirts. You know what? I walked through a mall wearing a shirt that said, hug me with no pants Not one person hug me. You're not watch surprise. Yeah. I guess the security guard's kind of a hug When they pull you to the ground. Yeah, that counts. That counts. That's what they were doing. So you're growing up, that's important to you. You're raised Baptist. Yeah. ye And uh Your mom used to perform The church She would write outs like skits and do the scripts and make puppets and she would do a little show. Yeah. That must have influenced you Definitely did.. Yeah, I mean, I remember I was like surprised when she even took it on. Like, you know, we just went to church, then suddenly my mom is stepping up into this position where she's gonna do puppet shows in front of the whole church. Right. I was like, how are you gonna to do this? Mom? you know about puppets? You know how to do puppet stuff? She does. But yeah, they would she would kind of like drum up these like two to three page little scripts. and then she would it was her It was my dad sometimes and then it would be other people from the church playing some of the other characters. and it was just like the children's sermon before the big sermon. they would you know, so it would be something, you know, thou shalt not steal or whatever. And it's just a little skid about a kid who steals like lunch money at school and why you shouldn't do it.. But it was, you know, I think what was cool about it was the idea of being able to see something create it And then like a few days later performed in front of people. And then you know, from my point of view, I'm not pets I'm not anything I don't have anything to do with it. I'm just sitting there watching the process. Like I'm seeing her in our kitchen writing these scripts and like, you know, running the lines. and then a few days later, I'm at church, like looking around watching people watch it and respond to it. you know, I just thought it was cool. I think that was like the beginning of me sort of like even understanding like, oh, this is like something you could do. You can you can write things in your kitchen and people might respond to it. Yeah That's so cool. you Were you quite religious then when you were a kid when you were Baptist? I wouldn't say I was religious. I think I spent most of my time like, you know doodling on the minister's face and the program or just imagining what I think we went to the scene. I think whatever religion you are, I'm not rel. Yeah But it's funny becausecause now that you know I stopped going probably in middle school, but we win all the time, but then you look back and like, oh, it was actually kind of awesome that for like an hour, you had to just be forced to sit there and be quiet.. while you know, I think my imagination would run wild during that time.. I was Catholic, so I went to Catholic Mass, but you guys had to stand up and sit down a lot more stand up and sit down. We could just be crazy. We could sit there every now then clap along to a song. Yeah Now we had to stand up and sit down a lot, but there's still a lot of time to look around. I would just look around Stt Lawrence' church and like I would look up and just imagine all kinds of insane things because you're not a you weren't on a tablet. They didn't have tablets then And you just you had to, you were trapped with your mind.. And I wasn't thinking about the stuff I was supposed to be thinking about You said that you you have said that your parents got divorced and that also probably had an effect on whatever you questioning the Baptist thing. Yeah, I just saw it as, you know, I don't think it was exclusive to like the Baptist church, but it was at that time in the eighties, it was sort of like, you know, people weren't getting divorced as much. and especially at the church, I think. So it was just after it kind of happened, I felt like my mom didn't really feel like Welcome there as much then she would drop me and my sister off and we're like, well, we're only going ' you were going. We ain't trying to go to the bars. You walk in, you peek, the cars left and then you guys go out the back do. Yeah. And you know, the cool thing about that church I went to is called Salem Baptist Church, was in Spotsylvania, Virginia. but it was actually a church that was around during the Civil War So it was just kind of wild to go to some little church that was like, oh, this was like Was it the same Sotsylvania? Yeah was the battle? Yeah, yeep, Same one. Yeah, a lot a lot of civil war action in my hometown. Yeah lots. Th those are those are those are nasty battles too. That were that area too had some of the nastiest battles. L I think it is it's known as the bloodiest ground in all of North America because of how many battles were there But the gnarliest one, I think, is that battle of wilderness that was there. And that's like this insane battle that happened over the course of a few days in the forest. The forest was on fire and guys were literally like hatcheting each other and it was awful. It was awful. It was insane. and yeah, it's ill I used to go there all the time and just enjoy myself, watch. think about that brutality. Yeah good times. So great.'s a great me. Thats good That's a good first date. I've talked about this on the podcast, but I'm a, you know, history buff and a civil War guy and I remembered my wife and I,'s people think it was our honeymoon. It was not. It was after we got married. but just shortly after like a couple of months later I had a week off from the late night honeymoon, Isn't that?? No, we had our honeymoon and then we came back from it. But then maybe two months later I had a week off. and she said, let's take a trip. And I said, Yeahah, let's drive down through Georgia and visit the different towns in Georgia. And you know, she liked it. And then the next thing you know I'm saying, She said, whereere are we going to now? And I said Andersonville. Oh. And she said, What's that? And I said, That's the giant prisoner of W camp where the Confederates She kept all the Union troops, didn't feed them, and they all died of diarrhea. And she said We're going to Atlanta or the Four Seasons Hotel. we're gonna drink appppleinies and get our diarrhea there. So we did that instead. But I think you had a great idea. I think a great idea. Think of looking at a field. Think of all the diarrhea Pyroni's disease, also known as PD is a condition that isn't talked about often, but it's more common than many men realize. Some men may even feel embarrassed or reluctant to bring it up PPD may involve a buildup of scar tissue that forms under the skin of the penis, which can cause a noticeable curve of the bump during an erection That curve can lead to pain during intimacy, it also may affect a man's confidence and mental health It also can lead to frustration, depression, lowered selfesteem, and even withdrawal from sexual activity and physical intimacy If you notice a curve with a bump down there, it might be PD. The good news is it's treatable. A urology specialist can diagnose Perrony's disease and talk through treatment options To learn more, visit talkaboutpd. com I was at the airport I was waiting one of those long lines. And I kept saying, Hey, let me through. I'm Conor O'Brien. And they said, shut up They wait in line. I went, Okay. And that's so sad. It's a really good story But I was hungry, I didn't have sack with me. You gotta keep And I didn't wanna lose my place online and go try and find something. I know. That's when you gotta have nutrra grain on you. You gotta always have a snack in your bag and when it's a nutrra grain, it's perfect. It's perfect ' it's the right size, it's handy. It's also nutritious. Yeah. Okay. You can go anywhere. It's made with ten grams of whole grains Ten vitamins and minerals. These guys are obsessed with tens. and no high fructose corn syrup. Nutrra grain nourishes and it hits the spot with delicious flavors. They got strawberry, apple cinnamon, blueberry flavors. I just had a blueberry back in the snack area. Yeah. withith a little bit of a glass of milk. You earned it. Nice job U nice job. Find nutritious and always delicious Nutrro grain bars at your favorite store or online retailer today. And look for new Nutrro grain crunchy bars in stores near you. Oh, I'll get that crunchy I will This is a paid ad by Better Help All of us Learn about stigmas when we're a kid, things we're probably not supposed to talk about. thingsings we're not supposed to share, maybe be a little ashamed of. Even in twenty twenty six, stigma can get in the way of a lot of things like getting support for your mental health. Unbelievably, that's still an issue people Y. Maybe you've encouraged friends to consider therapy while avoiding taking the first step yourself because you're busy Or you're worried what others would think, or you're telling yourself you can handle it alone. Yeah. This is a situation where you can't do it alone. You need to talk to someone else But therapy with Better Help the world's largest online therapy platform can be a space to slow down and talk through what's been building before it feels. unmanageable. Here's how it works. You just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and preferences and Better Help will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. That's huge. Their industry leading match rate means Better Help typically gets it right the first time. You can feel confident knowing Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct. We have never had that here at the show. And unlike us, they are fully qualified. Don't let hesitation hold you back. Find support with Better Help, sign up and get ten percent off at betterterhelp dot com slash Conan Better HLP dot com slash Cona do think one of the things that made the righteous gemstones just so great was you knew your subject You you understood these these people And also I always sense there's affection there too. Like I don't think it works to make a comedy about people if you just think they're stupid and loathsome. Totally. And that's not what you did. You had a real understanding and affection for these people and found them ridiculous, but also understood them time. Does that make sense? It does make sense. And I think we were that is what we were trying to do. and I think we extend it to a lot of the stuff from even, you know, Eastbound ofvice prrinciples. It's sort of, you know, we know that we're not dealing with like the best examples of mankind. And but I think that it's fun to treat them still with with a little bit of empathy and even giving them enough depth. So you know, there's layers there. I think it I think when comedy is written where there is such a disdain for what you're joking about, it could kind of become boring. I think it becomes more unexpected if you're confused as the audience of where you even kind of sit with this person. Yeah. I mean, I talk about this now. I do think it's very tricky. always have to have a blend in comedy. If you're just thinking about the comedy And obviously, we're very divided right now in this country and are yelling at each other a lot and it's very vitriolic and I think sometimes that I don't know, just makes comedy if you want to talk about it or portray it in any way The only way to do it is to show some nuance and empathy for a different point of view But that's not what a lot of people are interested in. Yeah Do that m sense? It totally makes sense. Then the thing is when everyone is kind of like on both sides are angry about the same exact stuff, it also just makes any comment you're making sort of feel redundant. L people it's like well traveled paths, you know. So I do think when you can find that nuance, you probably have a better shot of actually like making people think if it's not something that they've been shouted out about over and over again the um It's interesting, I think it's interestsing to me is that you You came to be known through comedy and hugely successful in comedy, but you've also carved out time to do these other things you were a huge force behind the Halloween franchise, the reboots and It's so fascinating to me because I've always thought there's a weird like a Sometimes they people say or I've said, Many people said it, there's a symbiosis between comedy and music, like a lot of medians also love music and there's some kind of weird parallel. I also think There's something going on between comedy and horror There's some they're very different But also there are things about them that aren't that different because it's all about surprise. Exactly. I think're with both of them, you're structuring an experience. You know, you're with a joke, you know, you obviously want to pace things out so that the punchline gets the biggest laugh. And I think it's the same way with those scares. you think about how, you know,, we'll make them a little scared here and then we'll let them off the hook here and we'll hit him here. So I think there is a little bit of that is is similar is the yeah, the architecture of trying to make sure you get the result that you're going for. Also, I mean if you look at Jordan Po His work, if you look at obsession, if you look at weapons A lot of these people have got their chops in comedy though And then I, you know, when I was watching weapons last year And And one of the reasons that I really wanted to do something with it on the Oscars was that Character of Aunt Gladys is to me a comedy character And There's so much of the movie that's kind of funny at the same time and it's that weird that's that raaisor thin line between this is hilarious and this is horrifying. Yeah And many times when I've been trying to be funny in my career, I've been horrifyied. But And if I tried to you know, frighten any guy, I think they would just start laughing. So but there's something going on there. And so it must have been a great creat of outlet for you. Clearly it was. It was a lot of fun, you know was Jason Blumet come to David Green about adapting that and you know David Green and I have gone to college, we went to college together again. We've known each other for a really, really long time. You know, he came to me and was like, I think I might do this. Would you want to help me? I'm like, no way. you shouldn't relaunch Holloway? It's a terrible idea. I love Holloway. donon't do that. Yeah. But then as we were thinking about it, I was like, well, I mean, if someone's going to, why don't we give it a shot? and let's see if we could. And yeah, it was honestly, it was like unreal. It was so funny to be sitting there like writing on that script And you're just writing, you know, the shape walks into the room. you know' kind of I was formed in that movie. Yeah My babysitter made me watch it when I was five with the lights out. and so to like do away with all those sequels that in their own way I love, but to come back the way you guys did. the twenty eighteen one? Oh it was like closure for me. Thank you. The whole experience was awesome not only getting to do that, but even, you know, we had to go through steps of approval to do it. Like David and I had to go to John Carpenter's house and pitch him what we wanted to do. And it was sort of like I've never really been nervous about pitching an idea ever. It was just like,, they don't like it. They don't like it. But suddenly as we're like knocking on his door, it's like, Ohh God, I think I'll be crushed if he doesn't like what this idea is inssane and You know, I'm meeting him and pitching him this idea like we have an idea of what we want to do with something you It' all of a sudden like what are the balls of us? What are we thinking? We should we greatade. It was awesome. And then you know, we once we got his approval, we sent it to u to Jamie Lee Curtis to because obviously it wouldn't work without her in it. And yeah, when she called back and was like, yeah, I want to do this. I mean, Creen and I are just looking at each other like what is going on? I mean it was it was insane. And when it premiered at at Tiff, I think it might have been the most proud I've ever been of anything that we've done. I mean, I was so nervous of what that reception was going to be for that one because I'm there with them. I'm a fan of this. and that's a lot. And I just really wanted it to work for the other fans. And I remember watching that and just my stomach was in knots. I was in like eating for like two days leading up to it, and we're sitting there and when it got to the last half where they're like in the house with them, and everybody in the theater' like cheering and applauding. I was just like, oh God. Yes, Yes.'m gonna live was it was awesome. It was so much fun. Yeah. I also think writing how someone gets killed. Yeah would be kind of fascinating because There is a real art to it You know, just just if If the character just gets killed, well that's You know, guess gets shot boring. It's trying to think of these inventive ways that are Sometimes fifty percent comedy. Yeah, the way someone, you know, and you watch these movies as they're competing with each other to do it in a more interesting way That is the scene at the rest stop when Michael Myers teeth in and just drops teeth on the ground from It's Hoin. Wellah was I think that idea about the teeth dropping it might have even been I might be remembering it wrong, but I feel like it was our location our buddy who works in locations who had that idea. And so that's the other thing is you're working on a know, if you're on a comedy sometimes you'll get jokes from. People sitting around like, oh, you should say this. L,, it's not bad. When people suggest things like he should drop the teeth. you're like, great idea, but also keep an eye on this dude That is Yeah Where'd you come up with that idea? Sime I don't know, I dont to talk about I mean, I want to take the credit Yeah. That's fantastic. Yeah, It just occurred to me that it would be I don't know, be really funny to shoot a short. saying we' It's you going to John Carpenter's house to pitch him. And he doesn't really like the idea, but you hang around. And then you use all the tropes from horror movies. Like he goes into the kitchen at night and opens the refrigerator dorawor. and then when he shuts it, you're right there. And you're like, I just really think hold, I don't wan to do it The pitch. Yeah, it's just pitch. It's called the pitch. Yeah, season of the pitch. Yeah, season of the pitch. And you just keep don't let it go. Yeah. you don't I become his dog. And it's not. Yeah it's all the st exactly. it's all this stuff. has been used a million times. I'm always amazed now when people use some of those tropes that have been used way too many times and they don't put a spin on it Yeah. Really? That's where we're talking about Widows Bay There's there's a slasher episode and a moment with a shotgun that you wish you'd seen in slasher movies for decades and you finally see it and it's wonderful. Widows Bay is There're I mean I can't wait to see it. Everyone I know loves it. And here's what I do on my list. Here's what I doing something new on that show. Um, which is It's not a comedy. It's horror and there's comedy, but they've got this ratio invented this cocktail. That's kind of perfect. and I don't think anyone's done quite that yet. That's great And They They do I think one of the real brilliant things about the show is they'll get the tension up to this highest pitch and then always deflate it in this kind of humiliating way, but then get the pitch right back again And without giving anything away where there's just one point where there's a There's like a demon and The main character M Matthew Reese has gone in to talk to the demon and this other woman says you got to go in there and talk to the demon. so he goes in and he's starting to talk to the demon and it's like knife's edge tense and then The door just opens. she goes, I forgot my purse. And the demon and Matthew Reese wait a second while she gets her purse and she backs out. You're like, Wh the fuck does that? that? It's great. Anyway I don't know why we're plugging this show that neither one of us is involved in Who Widows Bay, you're a genius.iller. I just have to give a shout out. Katie Dipple is the mind behind Widows Bay I think she's brilliant and she's a former intern on our show. and she she's brilliant. She's done a ton of other work, but I think Widows Bay is her masterpiece. And also while we're talking about other people's work I think Hyundai makes an incredible boy. They've come a long way.oy. Let's talk about this book because throwing talales of modern men I know that this is a theme you've worked on for a while in your work over the years, which is men kind of trying to confront Maybe a world that's passed them by or men who feel, well, you're going to describe it better than I am. No, no, you keep going. I want to hear how you. No you're totally right. Men like me who are masculine and never lose. I'm going do o actually I can read from a New York Times review Okay This is shit, it says. No, I'm elevment. It's a very interest. I haven't read that one yet. Oh no, this is the New York Times. What a piece of shit. Shitty, shitty, shitty shit. What the hell? My mom wrote that I thought this was in my toilet, but it was no it's a No, New York Times review. Some of the stories fit neatly into the canon of wounded protagonists who lash out Others tiip toward a quieter emotional depth albeit laced with obscenity and the occasional violent outburst, They're all undeniably the work of a storyteller interested in entertaining while also poking at what at what makes men tick and then go boom. whichich is yeah. buy that book. You'd write that book. I don't have to because I don't have to because you gave me one for free. Not for free. I I need the Ben Mo. It's coming. It's coming. because I'm real good with tech This comes out of like You're very you're so good and I'm going back to even if, you know, your first work Fot Fist wayay and through everything you've done at And also Donald Duck. like People who are you know, assertive male characters that are also pissed off and frustrated because things aren't working out. Yeah. And that seems to be this area that you love exploring. And now you've got this really terrific book of short stories that tackles that. Yeah, it's just, you know, it's an extension, I feel like like what you're saying about the work I've done in TV. like this kind of came to me because I really just wantt to see Could I do that and deliver that same experience, that same vibe, the same level of storytelling? C I do it in a totally different format? And that was kind of why I entered this. And you know even the way the stories are sort of structured, like they start in essence, with like a cold open and the title of the story like comes up later in the story. And so it was kind of a way of me sort trying to translate what I I mean, I've written at this point like over eighty episodes of TV. And so it trains your brain to work in a certain way when it comes to storytelling. And I was just trying to use some of the stuff I learned doing that to just put it into a totally new endeavor. Also, it feels to like If you're writing episodic television as you have, you know, brilliantly over the years You've got these characters, you want to get multiple seasons and you set up your own rules and you set up who you're protagonists are and your side characters. and then That's what you've got to work with over and over and over and over again And With a project like this, you can have an idea explore it in a short story. tootally. And then uh pivot say, Okaykay, I'm done with that. Now it's going to be about a robot Now it's going to be about a magician who's suspended in a box in a mall and gets in over his head. Now it's going to be about a sitcom actor who takes revenge on the coyote that killed his pet Like you you you're working in a shorter form, but you can go you can go nuts, which is great. You can go nuts. And you know, Gemstones, I was writing on that for, you know seven years basically. And it was so much fun and it was fun writing for all those characters and that world that we established was a ton of fun. And it's weird, you know, like when when you've worked that long on something, once it's over, it is like almost like a breakup. It's like getting over a relationship or something that I wanted to write more, but I felt like I ain't trying to get into anything too serious. I just need I need to get in and out need some short stories, you know? I felt like I couldn't like commit myself telling a story that was going to take that much time, you know? And so the idea was like, I think there's just a lot of stories I want to tell. and this allowed that to happen where you didn't have to think of the story of like, well Will this have legs for four years? W this, you know, when you tell this one episode, it has to connect to six other episodes that tell a story. It's like you could enter it, start it, and take it to completion in one sitting. And yeah, it was a lot of fun. And I think after writing so much TV, it was yeah, it was sort of a cleanse that I needed U now is this What is your process? know it sounds like a boring question, but to me, it's fascinating Do you Do you write these stories here and there to just sit down to write a collection of short stories. You know, I started the I think there's only like maybe one or two of them that are from this, but how I even began even writing in this format was when we were writing vice principles. was we wrote both of those seasons in one year. So it was one solid year of just working on that morning noon and night. and was I was about, I think about five months in, I was feeling that thing. I like, oh, I love these guys I have to do more with these guys. You're like there you're locked in a room mentally Yeah with these few characters. and you're just trying and its it becomes a puzzle figuring it all out and I was just sort of like the idea of anything else felt appealing. So I just start I start this thing where in the morning before I'd go into the writer's room, I would just freehand write like anything I wanted. and I would just get to about three or four pages and I would stop it. And I had no ambitions for what any of it would be. It didn't have to be anything, I didn't have to continue the same story, just whatever idea I wanted to, I would just let myself write that And I did that for the rest of that year. I ended up filling up like four books full of just all this stuff. And I put it away and didn't go back to any of it. And it really did kind of help my brain as I was writing by Sprintzs to help me exercise different ideas and get things out and kind of stay excited when I would go into the writer's room And then I guess it was around twenty twenty, I just like pulled those books out and looked at them for the first time. Like, was there anything in here that was like worth anything? And most of it sucked, but there were a few things that just kind of got my imagination going. I was like, oh, it' kind of interesting if this thing continued or if I wrote more on this, I would do this with it. And so that was kind of the beginning of it. I pulled out of those books probably about Maybe like eight to ten of the little kind of like snippets of stories and then started focusing on expanding those things. And then as I did that, I ended up getting rid of most of them. I kept like one or two. And then I just kind of was like, I want to do this. I want to try to like create a book that I put this sort of level of thought into. And yeah, and then that just became, you know, I was kind of teaching myself how to do it I thought the big difference between doing this and then writing a script is with the script, there's always Someone else, really talent is gonna come in to make it better. You know, whether it's like the actor' gonna come in or the DP is gonna make it look cool. And it was kind of interesting to have it where you're like, o, I'm just writing this and then I really need to go. I need to do all that stuff myself. I need to make sure that this is translated to people the way I'm imagining.. Ernest Hemingway didn't say Oh, this is what I got. Punch it up. Yeah. G it a little thought will be really nice. Yeah, yeah ye There's let's focus on this one story, Institute of Men. because it's a fascinating idea. Do you want to talk about it a little bit It's, u It's a story about a guy who is getting self conscious about his his hairline is receding. He's losing his hair and He's worried a coworker of his thinks that he has Gllm esque features and that if he loses his hair, it really could be bad for him. you know. Yeah So he starts to he's like looking for a solution and he kind of he sees this ad for this place called the Institute of Men and he decides to sign up and then he goes to this place and it's a little unorthodox. There's some strange questions. they ask him and it's a very odd procedure that he has to kind of sign away to. and then It's one of those monkey Paw situations. He gets hair, but there's a price that. I also love what there's little things in it that remind me of some of these sort of comedy slash horror things we've been talking about where You know, he has to fill out, you know, when you're getting going to get a medical procedure, you have to fill out a questionnaire And questions are just really ye They're not things that you would normally see on a medical questionnaire. It should have been the first red flag. ye They're asking him things like how many friends he has and the last time he cried. When was the last time he cried? Yeah. Whenn't have you even been in a fight It's So funny because I've had ideas over the years for a little strange things It's like it's not a comedy sketch, it's just a concept It's kind of freaky but I'd like to expand on it more and write it out. but You know, I've never N I've never done it. It's why I mean, I've been a massive fan of youriews and then when you did this, I was like, no This man, this man, this man did the thing that I have never been able to do. an idiot like me could do it, Conan. that is not how I that is not how that's not how I think about it. But it' it's really exceptional and and also it has to just feel book on the shelf. I mean, There A lot of celebrity famous people toss off books And it's that's not what this is. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, I work as hard on this as I would on any of the any of the shows I worked on. I mean, I was like living and breathing it for the last year. And you know, the craziest part about it is like you You finish it and then you turn in and then it's like the rewriting it where it's like, you know, you rerite an episode of TV, it's thirty pages like, I get through this in a day or two. You get the notes and you look at you' like this is like a four hundred page do I got to rewrite this. Where the hell do I even start? I don't even know if I can read this fucking thing in a month, you know. But then you do, you get down into it where you do just start it just happens. I just I went away and just left my computer on and just sort of like would just pace back and forth Just approach a sentence at a time, Danny, L don't get intimidated by the weight of it. And then it does start to strip away. You do start just like you're like No in the matrix, get rid of that. putut that in, change that. You can just start doing it. Yeah. I've never had that. I'll show you. I've never been No in that. I'm Keano in pointo break That's who I am So what is okay this what are you working on now? Be this this project is done and I hate to say, okay, what else you got You know what what have you' done for me lately? I've been working on something I'm pretty excited about. You know I approached Paramount last year about trying to relaunch GI Joe for them as a feature. Yeah al talk about cartoons, Dg. This It's so. Yeah the guys I write gemstones with Jeff Rley and Joon Kachuri, we jammed we've jammed out this script that Paramount's excited about and we're going to try to that's what we're trying to make next year. Wow. You can't say anything, huh Yeah I can't you know what? It's not a comedy. It's like a grounded action movie. Oh my go You know, in the comics, there's this town Springfield that is like secretly Cobra lives there. have that original comic. Yeah, I loved it. And so our story takes place there. And I mean was it Matt's gonna follow you home. Yeah. You got to Make sure you watch the gate close behind you when you get home, butt donon't just assume that no one's walking in after you. But don't worry I'll be dressed like Duke from GI. Yeah We're gonna go to shut the refrigerator tonight's there. That was like the Halloween thing of like feeling like insane writing the shape This was like I when I'm like right in the climax of it and we're sitting here and I'm putting things like Cobra Commander and Snake guys fighting. I just had to like stop and like go downstairs to my wife and I'm like, this is nuts. I used to do this when I was a kid. E every day I would make these guys fight each other and now I'm writing that shit. You're living my life. I'm so excited. Wow. amaz. Sheheers of blood from that girl. Yeah. I do think that And I chalk it up to pure a lot, but there are so many times now where I'm doing something. I realize this is how I Goofed around as a kid And now I'm doing it and people are saying, and cut. Nicely done. I'm not getting yelled at. Yeah, they're not telling you to clean up your toys.' hand Yeah.. That's all fine. Let's get back to GI joke. Yeah A Walton Gogins, I have to ask you about Walton Gogins because you know, I know him a bit and he's been here. He's just a fascinating creature. He really is. He I mean, and I mean, you must have the second you saw him do anything thought like, oh I gott to know that guy. hundred Be he's such a he's like a Walton Gogginins is a character you would create. I mean the person Walton Gogins The universe pushed us together. Yeah I love him so much. He's one of my best friends. and yeah, I mean, since the very first time we worked together in Vice prrincipals, him and I have just had such a fast friendship You know, we went to we took our families to Greece together last year and's hilarious. Yeahah, he's just so funny and so good. He was here to do the podcast. I don't know if you remember this, he he got here a little bit early and then his one of his people said Walton's very tired. He's going to take a power nap for five minutes And he went into that little office where you were sitting, that little green room with the couches and the sliding door that goes outside and um, walk by and he's Asleep on the couch But he looked like Dracula sleeping in his casket. He was like Like this and his eyes were closed and he slept really hard for exactly five minutes W and then came in here and he gave us a full blast of the Ggggins I love it. He gave us full goggins. full metal Gons. Full metal gogggins. Yeah. When we went to Greece last year, it's like, you know, I mean he's a force and it was awesome walking around Greece. Everyone recognized him. He had such a stellar year with white Lotus and everyone was coming up. and Walton was dressed for it. I mean, what we would go out and Walton is like in full white linens You know, I'm there my kids, they're wearing like frocks, you know, ye ye ye. take ph we'll take the photo for you. We go to these beach clubs and like everyone in his family are just like finely dressed and just look like they're off a magazine. That got. My little redneck kids and me sitting with bad Sntans. So he's like Aristotle Oassus and Jackie Onass walking around Greece off the yacht And then you got like, you know, Randy Cuayon, you know, vacation, just like, it's like You're like I want gonna get them duke bys. Wow. I wish I could have again, I would just wanna shoot that. I just wanna see the B roll of you guys walking around having a killer time Unbelievable. Well, I this has been a huge shot in the arm. I didn't even need a shot in the arm today, but I was I do this sometimes. I'll be driving in and I think, Hey, I get to see Danny McBride today. And I love his book and so happy for him and and u just I just love talking to you and getting any time to hang with you. and I will take you up on your promise just the three of us, you Stirgil Simpson. I'll coordinateated. I'll pay for the meal. You guys you guys pick the outback steakhouse. I love that. and we'll go there. And if Goggan wants to drop by at some point, bring him to. He might we might have to change what we're wearing if he comes We're out our game Well, Danny, thank you for dropping in and congrats on the book. I love it. Thrilling Tales of mododern men. Awesome. thank you. This won't air reat That's fine Sig news, Sona. Yeah. Did you know TMobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation? No way. Yep. They're making it easier to stay connected so you're free to wander. Well, that's really cool. And I love a national park. I really do. I do too. Now, there's one thing you have to have. if you're doing that, good signal. It's a priority. Do You you know what I mean? You got your maps, your music This podcast. Yeah. So take America's best Network plus their off grid satellite coverage with you. Look, we're all a little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff and suddenly you don't have it because of a bad signingal, that's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon. Oh, okay. Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones Then I got TMobile and never had to chuck 'em again, you know Okay, so wander over to T moobile. com and switch based on analysis by Ukla of spepeed test intelligence data for two H twenty twenty five That's some sentence. G satellite cable device in most outdoor areas in the US where you see the sky. That's important. You gott to see the sky. Yeah. Service may be limited or unavailable, Ined with experience beyond or ten dollars per month. Auto reneews, cancel any time. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand Disclaimer, please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon Cola zero suugar is so good. 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