Harry Potter Fan Fiction Obsession

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Oh no. Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions. then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you say? Yeah, all the time. Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that. Bull spend. Bull spin. Yeah, instead you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull spend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash Conan Terms Apply. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash callcon. Okay, let's get started. Hey Micah, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Oh, thank you. Hi, Micah, how are you? Good. How are you doing? Uh, where are you right now in the world, Micah? I am in Atlanta, Georgia, at the Center for Puppetry Arts. Oh, you work with puppets. Um I'm gonna say I I don't think I've heard of it, but uh tell me, this is a puppet museum. What is it? What what are we doing here? Are we storing puppets? Are we displaying them? What's happening in your puppet world? Yeah, we're um we're a museum, a puppet museum. Um we're also a performing arts center, so um we have Performances that involve puppets, um, on stage, but then I work in the museum side of things. So Um I'm the collections manager, which essentially just means I take care of the puppets. Um in the museum. Okay, are we talking famous puppets here? Uh would these be puppets that I know? Yes. We have about five hundred of the Jim Hansen, original Jim Henson puppets. Oh w we call those Muppets, don't we? Yes, we can call we're sorry, we in the business uh puppetry call that Muppetry. Uh so You have muppets? You have five hundred Muppets? Yes, we do. We have five hundred Muppets, um Miss Piggy, Carmit, the Sassame Street characters. Um puppets from the Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. Wow. Um, among others. So I you would recognize. I had the honor and privilege of um getting to meet Jim Henson a couple of times. Uh in this is long before I did my late night show or anything. I When I was in college, uh his daughter Lisa was on the College Humor Magazine with me and he would come by And he once said to me Conan, would you would you for the College Humor Magazine, would you guys like to have one of the thrones from Dark Crystal? Just for fun. Oh God yes, Mr. Hansen, and I rented a van and And um With some friends of mine, this really cool I think it was fiberglass dark crystal throne. And brought it back to the Lampoon building in Cambridge. And I believe it's still there. Um Really? So that was still there? I think it's still there. Might have to make a road trip to go get it. Yeah, yeah, you guys should come take it, because I don't trust those idiots who are looking after it. Probably uh it's probably just holding a beer keg. Um but a lot of the dark crystal stuff and the labyrinth stuff is really difficult to take care of just due to the materials. So Uh n some of it's not around anymore. It's incredible. So you have a lot of Jim Henson stuff. That's amazing. Any other famous puppets that I would know? Yeah, we have um Lamb Chop. We just got a Lamb Chop and Friends um puppets, which Sona maybe you remember from our childhood days. I sure do. I was What was her name? Her name was Oh God, what was the Lamb Chop? Sherry Lewis. Sherry Lewis. Sherry Lewis, very famous, yeah. And Lamb Chop was her puppet. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I remember Lamb Chop. Uh-huh. And um we have the Mystery Science Theater 3000 puppets. Oh wow which you can see behind me. That's oh look at that. Chucky. Chucky. You just moved your head a little bit and Chucky is there. Oh my god Oh my god, look at Chucky. Chucky. You just buried the lead. You have Chucky. Is that the Chucky? It is the Chucky A the Chucky. Um there are multiples. This one is from the newer TV show on that was I think on sci-fi. Um so it's a newer one. But yes, it is the Chucky. All of our puppets are originals, usually performed. Okay. Yeah. So what about an average Joe puppeteer? Can they donate their puppet to your museum? Yeah, we have a process, but we do take acquisitions, we do acquire things. Um, and so yeah, we have uh, you know, in that five thousand puppets, we have puppets from all over the world. you know, different puppetry traditions from all over the world, puppets that date back, you know, eighteen hundreds and and um So yeah, people can can call me, write me and an offer me their puppets. This must happen sometimes. Someone comes to you and says, I'd like to donate my puppet and the puppet is Come on, it's It's like a paper plate and they cut a mouth in it. And they you know, it's just not good. Are you in the position of saying, uh, I think we're okay where but thank you so much. Do you have to turn down puppets sometimes? Yeah, I do. I feel kind of bad doing it, but You're right. I mean not everything is museum worthy as much as people want their stuff to last forever. Okay, Micah, let me ask you this. Micah, would you ever just to spare their feelings say thank you. This is such a wonderful piece. And then when they leave, feed it into a shredder. Oh boy. Oh, come on. What? What do you mean? We can't be shredding puppets. Well Yes, you can. No, you can put them in a box. Why are you sh why are you shredding them? Because you gotta it it's gonna run out of space. I'm thinking you spare the old puppeteers feel. Okay, well all right. Well Micah I mean I think you're just repeating what Sona said, so I think you secretly agree with me, but you know you wanna keep the puppet people on your side. Um Listen, yeah, I uh dispose of them in an appropriate manner, I suppose. Uh sure. Yes. Yes. We call that burning. Um or just dip them in beef. You know what would be a good thing to do if you want to get rid of puppets is dip them in uh like a beef and then throw them into a pack of dogs. Oh my God. To see a a puppet torn limb from limb seconds after it was donated by a kindly old puppeteer. And then he comes back because he left his wallet and he's like No. My little gob gob. Uh Micah. You're awful. Think about it, Micah. It's something you're gonna want to do, and now that you've pictured it, you're going to do it. Uh Micah let's say it's You're working there late, which I'm sure has happened sometimes. And it's getting dark. And You're walking around There must be there must be times when you think Where's this going? There's a ch I think I saw that Chucky Puppet move. I knew but I mean It's I mean it's every third Twilight Zone. These puppets come to life and they menace you. Have you ever been a little paranoid being around these puppets at night? And be honest. Yeah. Okay. Well there was one time where I did run and get a co-worker. I'm pretty sure I heard a noise and no one else is in here. I'm usually in here by myself and the lights turn off automatically um after a while if you don't move around. Yeah. So uh yeah, I didn't know. Which puppet which puppet do you think was moving? Which be honest, which puppet do you think was moving? None of your lies. None of your lies. None of your chicanery or tomfoolery. Which puppet are you quite certain was moving? I Think it was one of the Skexies from the Dark Crystal. Oh God. Yeah, the Skexies. They're in a back room by themselves. Yeah. And the light is always off back there. And I was walking back there, but the light doesn't turn on until I'm in the room. It catches my movement. Um I was walking back there, but before I was in the room I definitely heard it. Was it like Here she comes, here she comes. Oh God, she's got beef broth. Oh my god I did feel a little silly when my co worker came in. Obviously nothing going on. Well the the thing is these puppets aren't dumb. They know that when you bring someone else they gotta clam up. So that's what they do. They freeze and they clam up and then your friend leaves and they're like Yeah, we're gonna get ya, we're gonna getcha. Yeah. Let's all have Chucky right here behind me so that you know I figure if he's out in the open I don't have to worry. I always know where he is. Yeah, why do you have your back to him the whole time though? That's the thing you're doing, Micah, that I would never do. You have him Low ca Chucky's right behind you and I think he's holding a weapon. Is he holding a weapon? Yes, he is holding a a knife. Yes. What the hell Miss Piggy's right next to Miss Piggy would fuck Chucky up. She would. How do you know Miss Piggy isn't uh doesn't also want to be freed from her human overlord? I mean Miss Piggy might help. He might there's no chance. What are you talking about? Miss Piggy doesn't want to Well, Miss Piggy would never do that. Miss Piggy would defend herself and everybody there. 'Cause she's Piggy. She is a puppet, too. No, but that doesn't matter. She knows who's right. She would want to share the spotlight with Chucky. Okay, Micah that's the first sensible thing I've heard today. She's a diva and she wouldn't want You know, Chucky to get all the press for being the murderer. So if anything, it's gonna be Miss Piggy who gets you and Chucky who's just You know, watching in horror. I don't like this blasphemy. Not when it comes to Miss Piggy. I wanted do you ever brush Miss Piggy's hair? Um no, I do occasionally have to fix the wig that the puppets have, but or I do like weird things. Like I have to fluff Big Bird occasionally. When you say fluff big birds. What are we talking about here? Yeah. Oh I know. Oh I know. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, we got a big shoot going on here, big bird. I'm gonna fluff you up. It's just it's a scary. Time is money, big bird. Time is money. Mm-hmm. told it's important to treat your employees well. 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Uh, which is one time I was asked to do something on Sesame Street. This is you know, could have been like twenty five years ago, and I went over to I think they were in Brooklyn or I went over to Sesame Street. And they have to store the puppets wherever they can 'cause, you know, uh space is uh limited. And They had lash snuffilophagus to the ceiling. Because it's a giant And you've gotta store it somewhere, and it was lifeless. Inanimate. Um limp. Uh uh snuffle up, I guess, and it was lashed to the ceiling, like parts kind of hanging, but other parts secured with ropes and had gone psycho on Smophalophagus and then nailed him to the ceiling in this ghastly Performative behold my Crowd. Masterpiece My Murder. That's what it looked like. And it was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. And kids were walking around so kids could see it too. And I had to tell the kids, Oh my God. I mean I had to make sense of it to them, so I told them he wasn't careful and he was murdered. I had to think of something. Yeah. Well at least I got us off of fluffing uh Big Bird and took us to the mass murder. It's not great to see the puppets not like they're supposed to look. We've definitely got the puppets in somewhat poor condition. They had been used, obviously, um, for years. And then in a warehouse. So um we did have to do a lot of work. So part of my job is to make sure that They still look like the characters they're supposed to look like, so we don't, you know, destroy children's. So these some of these puppets you get have been, you know, rode hard and put away wet. They're like these are fucked up puppets. You know what I mean? They've got holes in them. Holes in 'em. Yeah, moth holes, stuff like that. Dismembered sometimes. Yes, you know. And so I mean it must be ghastly sometimes the puppets you get. You know? Yeah. Well, it's you know, they're just puppet. But yeah. I don't want Elmo to look like Elmo. You don't want him to be like No. It's like when sometimes, you know, you have to go to a wake and the person, you know was in a bomb accident. They are they look like themselves. You know what I mean? Uh so and sometimes you are like the mortician for these Puppets. You have to make them look presentable so their loved ones see them in the correct state, and not like snufflovages. Oh. Really really did some damage there. Plastic surgeon. Yeah. We do actually take needles to some of the Falm Latex puppets. Um latex is a lot of the dark crystal labyrinth puppets, and it sort of dries out over time. So much like I'm seeing as we age. Yeah. So the foam kinda dries up and they wither. These puppets wither and then you guys have to pump 'em up. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, puppet mother. Well uh and I just want to touch on this briefly 'cause I know we don't have tons of time, but you're also very much into fan fiction. You love Potter fanfiction, is that right? So sometimes when you're with the puppets late at night. And you're trying to calm down 'cause you're nervous. 'Cause you're pretty sure you just saw you just saw Chucky sharpening his knife. Um When when you're in that situation, sometimes you read uh Harry Potter fan fiction and you're a fan of What is it? Dryomamine? Dry What did I say mine? Dryemony? Dramony? Dremione. Oh, sorry for mispronouncing that. Oh yeah, you're right. Dremione. That word we all just spit out. Yeah, I'm sorry, if I'm ever pulled over for a DUI and they ask me to say Drenomine, I'm just gonna say, Hey, just take me put me away for thirty years. Let's not even do the test. Um how do you pronounce it? I listen to a lot of audio podcasts, audio books, and I got into yeah, Germani fan fiction all day and obviously Hermione and who what's the first part? Draco Draco. Oh, Draco Malfoy. Mm-hmm. And why are Why are you or anyone else, why do you want to come What is it about those two characters that is particularly appealing. Like how come Harry Potter's not in this Combo platter. I think 'cause you know, who doesn't love a bad boy? And Draco's story didn't really get finished in the original. So I you know, it's fun to see people's imaginations of where does that go after, you know the end of the books. Where do those characters go as they become adults? Do you think that Draco and Hermione could have a love interest? Is that what some of this uh fan fiction is exploring? Mm. Is that a couple that could really exist? I mean who did Mani ended up with what was his name? Hubble Bee? Gouble Gouble? Ron. What's that? Ron. Okay. So I don't know. Hubble Bee? It's been a while. I know. I'm just saying, I don't know. But I I get what she said. I 'cause I love fanfiction too. And there's so much stuff that comes out of it, and it's just fun. To like, you know, imagine two characters together and it's sexy. So it's Draco. And so oh, is there fanfiction where where Draco and Hermione uh get it on? Is that would that something that could happen? Guessing. The first one that I read was um Manicold, which is sort of a handmaid's tale meets Harry Potter fan fiction. So if you've read Margaret Atwood, Tim H Tale or watched the TV show of that situation. Okay. Okay. I'm trying to picture this. Uh you know it's crazy behind you Behind you, uh Chucky just made the coo in his hands. Got a load of this? Oh my God, here she goes again. Hey, does Drumble does Drumble?