Decoding the Buzzword Heavy Business Model

The cororporate Gossip podcast is supported by listeners like you. To hear the full version of this episode, head over to patreon. com slash corporate Gossip or click the link in the show notes. So let's talk about Go Guven. She is a twenty five year old Berkeley graduate. She made the list in twenty twenty four for her startup called Calder. And for this, we're gonna pull not only from the indictment, but also from a really good New York magazine investigation titled, She's Not anotherother Elizabeth Holmes. She actually H Personality What a mean I know. What a mean swipe for no reason Okay, so this is her Furbs profile. She was the cover girl. So she has a longer profile than most, so I'm going to cut it down Keler embeds cash back and rewards programs directly into the clients' websites. Qote, If you look at giants, what they did great for the past decade is they built financial technology capabilities inside their marketing machines, Gouvven said Caldar charges sixty cents monthly for each customer who links their credit card to the programs plus half a cent per dollar on every transaction made with that same card at one of twenty five thousand partnering merchants. Backed by eleven million dollars in funding at a thirty five million dollars valuation, Calder brought in one point five million dollars in revenue this year. Do you have any idea what her business does? I barely understood any of what you just said C clear as mud, right? Yeah Here's her cover. here she is. and we'll get into what the actual business is, but I just want you to think about how she explains her business. okay? Here' she is on the cover. Now for the cover people, if you go to Forbes today, like for the twenty twenty six nominees, anybody who's the cover person is gonna get a better picture and then they're going to for some reason describe what they're wearing. So they'll say, you, she's wearing a Zara top or he's wearing a ragon bone polo Under hers, it says Gok Guvin wears a polyester tank by Erzia and her own. Aud de Mars Puette Royal Oak watch. Now, nowhere else On the Forbes that I saw, does they say those are that's Robbie's own shirt. She owns that. Yeah. She owns that. Do you want to guess how much a Pugette rooyal Oak watch goes for used many, many tens of thousand forty thousand dollars. Yeah. a new one cost a half a million dollars A used one costs. about ty five thousand. Okay.'s I don't want to derail the podcast, but that's an insane depreciation and that makes no sense. R. Okay. I don't know. That's you let us know if you're like a watchhead U But obviously she's trying to signal something here, right It actually feels like she's trying to signal that she didn't steal this watch that she definitely stole, you know, this is my own I don't know what you heard, but this is this is I'm wearing my own watch, okay? I don't care what Deborah D Digo says. This is my watch Let's go back to her explaining her company, okay? seeee if this maybe illuminates anything for you. What Caldder provides is a Shopify like, white labeled solution for any brand and creator to launch their loyalty or membership on blockchain. What this means is when a brand on booards with Calder, they can set up their wallet in one click And in cououple clicks, they can set up their dynamic NFT memberships that will set tiered gateways to their brand world or creator member portals And then essentially gamify the engagement with their brand or themselves with contribute to earn quests. And these contribute to earn quests are like bounty like like game like primitives that can be anything that and some we have seen as go to the pop up event in Miami and check in with your NFT to share a content about our next drop to basically turn customers into advocates and co creators with the brand. Go ahead, Robbie. The I So this is like I mean my my first like initial justish honest viscual reaction is shut the fuck shut up. shhut up. you're not saying anything. You are saying absolutely nothing. It's just buzz words and jarging. But it feels like have you ever been in that situation where someone is trying to teach you like the rules to a board game you've never seen before? Yes And they're acting like it it actually it makes so much sense. Like if you if you roll and it comes up sheep, all of your lumber goes to the warden and you're like, what the fuck are you talking about All right now. what do it's like that's what it feels like What did she say like, you know, it's just your typical you gamified it's on the blockchain and it's gamified so that you become an advocate for the you're like what do you the NFT driven it's all just jargon. They can set up their dynamic NFT memberships that will set tier gateways to their brand world or creator member portals and that essentially gamified the Theres There's no words in there