Minimalism Versus Maximalism in Design

You're listening to a compleomplexly podcast Hello, and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or as I like to think about it, Hank and Cal. It's a comedy podcast where two brothers and sometimes two friends answer your questions, give you Dbs advice, and bring you all the excuse from both Mars and AFU able but don't always do that either. Cal, I just found out Canada isn't real. No way. What are you talking about? They say that it's all maple leaf. Oh, that one's really bad. Oh man. . I mean it's bad enough I'm worried the chest. A solid thirty percent of people have no idea why that's even a joke But man that's I apologize. Thank you for joining. I'm sorry you see your wonderful situation that you have, including at what appears to be a full on arcade game machine It's like a whole claw machine. I am addicted to cola machines, so I thought why not bring the addiction a little closer to home? That's what they always tell you in the meetings after all. That's what you're supposed to do. So yeah, and now what this has done is it now allows me to basically have no limit to the amount of small plastic plushes that I can buy. So that's great. because you can always put them into the claw machine. I can always just throw them in there into just like this growing pile This something that I don't need, which is awesome. Have you gotten very good at stuff at claw machine? Can you get better? Yes, actually, especially if you're going to the same place over and over again and you kind of get a feel for their machine. Yeah Eactly. So like the machine that I regularly go to is a Boba tea shop that's super close to my house. And so I've done it enough times to know. Yeah, yeah, because they're obviously not overpricing the drinks enough. So they got to get their margins in somehow. And it's really great because I've learned that the clw actually jerks forward when it goes down. and so now like I'll be coaching the kids that are over there like, Hey, hey, move it back just a little bit, just a little big. There have been a few times where where a doe eyed two year old has watched me win something that I worked really hard to get And I've had to relinguish Oh prie just because they are just so so mournful, those mournful eyes watching you A mean amaz It's like it's like you caught the ball at the baseball stadium. you gott to give it to the kid except that you paid. It's like if you've paid to catch the ball at the baseball stadium and then you have to give it to the kid. It's rough. It's rough. you got to do it. You got to do it Do you know what a two year old looks like A two year old Oh is this I guess it's been a while. Well, no, this was definitely a two year old bear You're talking. Okay B talking. I barely talking. stillill They need to reach out grabby hands. Yeah look very definitely not going to play the clishing game by themselves. I I I applaud you for But I will say having Don't applaud me, I'm writing it off on my taxes. so it ultimately benefits me. I see. I don't that not I'm not a tax advisor, but don't do that. That seems U I guess unless it's a piece of uh of content you're gonna to make in the future I mean, technically now it is. You've done it success. And now I'm locking off. Pank, thank you so much for being a part of this. This is all I needed three minutes and forty two seconds in this is all I needed. Thankks I appreciate it. Thank you for coming on the show. We wildly enough just recorded another podcast together and then I was like, hey, can you do yet another thing? And you said yes Of course I always enjoy another appearance in the Hank green extended cinematic universe. Yes. I'm kind of like that cameo that pops in and everyone's like, oh, that was such a cash grab. I can't believe Did that? Good puting that in. Oh man, I'm paying you so much for this If y'all don't know who Cal is on YouTube Funky Frogbait makes videos about the videideos. largely You're making videos about the videos, which I also do quite a lot, I'll be honest We're looking at so many of them. We're looking at the way people are acting on this here internet and having having a couple of things to say to them Yep, So sternly worded things sometimes maybe even a finger wag. Occasionally But but all all in good faith, all in good fun So thank you for coming on humans. That was really good time. and thank you for coming on Deer Hank, John. I have so many questions. Cal, thank you so much for going through and finding the ones that you like the most. I'm going to ask some of your favorites. This one is from Becca, who asks Deer Hank and Cal Poop Al been funny. This might sound like a joke question, but it's serious. Have humans always found potty humor and everything that goes along with it funny? How has humor evolved through history? What about human sexuality? Have we always found humor and bodily functions? If so, why? Thank you for your answers, Becca have I did a little we dive My favorite question that was asked, which is great. We're starting off really strong. I think from what I know and from the reading that I've done, absolutely the short answer is a resounding yes. Yeah It seems like. Iteems like there's like the first joke that we have written down. It was like a Sumerian fart joke Which is not entirely clear from reading it what the joke is, but it's' it basically says like since time immemorial A Oh God, I got to read it actually to marry. had had I had to write notes because I was like, oh, I'm finding too much stuff. There's no way I'm gonna remember everything. Do you, did you did you discover this as well So I actually kept my research a little bit closer to text that I was already pretty familiar with. And I actually focused on something not going back quite as far, kind of around thirteen hundreds, fourteen hundreds. kind of medieval. Oh yeah Chaer is all about the f joke Absolutely. That's exactly why I brought up the Canterbury Tales. Oh my God, can I please relay my favorite story from the Canterbury Tes? And then eventually back to the Sumerian Fart joke. Of course. Yeah.' quite related actually. It's also fart related. so the Canterbury Tales is considered a very foundational piece of like English literature There's a lot of scholarly debate on whether the work is complete, what order the work should be You know, organized in. But the basic story that we have is that a bunch of pilgrims gather in and in. They're a bunch of people of very different social classes and backgrounds. and the innkeeper proposes a storytelling competition because back then people didn't have TikTok, couldn't just pull out their phones and avoid eye contact So that's what they had to resort to. That's what That's what TikTok was. It waslling tailes and inss. Exactly. It's the perfect start of a DN D campaign by the way. Canterbury Tailes is basically the beginning of a DN D campaign You' got everybody's backstories. Absolutely. No, it's so great. The stories range so much in their subject matter, but also in their riting from PG to radar all the way out. All the way out. So the first tale, I believe, or first if you are going to you go by the most scholarly assumed which story should go first was the Knight's Tale. It's a very pious story, but immediately after that, we get the Miller's Tale, which has Every It has cockalry, it has farts, It has so it has pranks pitfalls. It is basically like the medieval equivalent of like a car crash compilation or like a people falling down compilation. Yeah. This is like so good exactly what happened to YouTube. Like everybody was like, we're going to use this for good and people are gonna learn from each other become more empathetic and then immediately it was like I'm gonna do this prank and you're not gonna believe it. I'm gonna fill this mayonnaise jar with yogurt and buy it at the store and then eat directly out of the top of it in front of the cashier, which actually is one of my favorite prank videos of all time Noodyhing gets hurt When you fill a mayonnaise jar with yogurt and then eat it in front of them Everybody's happy. Confusion is the best result of a praying. Confusion, justust pure confusion. The Miller's tale, if I could just give a brief rundown because so many things happen in it basasically, you've got old guy, young wife, young hot wife. Everybody really wants to get get their moveving on this young hot wife And so what happens is one of these men, I believe his name Nicholas. Yes, Nicholas, he does convince her to have an affair And so they're sneaking around a little bit. And then of course, he wants to have a big bedtime. He wants to be able to sleep in the house. He doesn't want to just sneak around. He wants to feel He really wants to feel like the guy. And so in order to do this, he tricks the old husband into because he studies the star. He's a very scholarly person. so he convinces the husband that there is a massive flood coming, a deadly flood. And so in order for him to be safe, all three of them need to suspend tubs from the ceiling of their barn put supplies in these tubs and then themselves sleep in these tubs so that when the flood comes, they can cut the ropes and float away. So he convinces Okay This is the case. And so the husband does that. and then the two affair partners, they sneak down from the barn loft, they go do their thing in the house while while the older husband is asleep And while this is happening Another man because man, she the aura she must have had, the men that were just so enamored with her in the middle of having an affair, another man climbs up to the window sill also begging for her attention and she says, I'll only give you a kiss. And what does she do She sticks her ass out the window And he kisses that instead. It is like the most like You would never, it's so easy for us to assume that like medieval people were so toidy and pious. It is like literally the lowest brow humor you can possibly think of. He's upset He goes and he says that he's gonna to go get like a hot poker. So he goes to the blacksmith and literally gets a hot poker to stab her with. He goes I can't believe you made me k kiss your ass Now itadays. that's great.. I know. it's like they weren't quite, they weren't quite at that level yet. imedi att least not At least not in polite conversation, perhaps. So this time, Nicholas sticks his out the window and like a Tommy Tom and Jerry episode He gets poked with the pocker but not before farting in the other guy's face. And so The story ends with the husband, the old husband hearing the scream, freaking out, thinking that the flood has come. He cuts the rope and falls to the ground and breaks his arm And the whole town comes out and laughs at him And that's the end of the story. So if you w to know how low brow and sexual and dirty that humor used to be, fart jokes, jokes about body parts It's been a whole for the whole time. The whole time. The whole time. So the Sumerian joke joke in quotation markarks is Something which has never occurred since time immemorial, a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap I'm a little confused by the double negative in this But I do get that it is funny when a young woman farks in her husband's lap Or that she's working very hard to not. Like it's funnier to think, okay, here's this young wife. She's perfect and like everybody's like happy and they're trying to be perfect for each other. And she has to fart so bad. And she's just trying to be like playful and fun in her husband's lap in her husband's lap in Ancient Sumer. And she's just like, God, I need to fart so bad Wait, so it's a double negative as in like I just I'm a little confused. So there's something which has never occurred since time immemorial a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap, I guess indicating that the young women have always been farting in their husband's laps. Yeah, they just they do be farting, apparently. I think I think That's cute because it's like there's kind of just like an acknowledgement of human nature that crosses. And it's also kind of interesting because that statement kind of is is circle circ circling the same conversation that we're having, which is You know, how long have we been farting? and how long have we been finding that funny and doing that? Thank God. yeah, farting is funny. We've always I know that The question in particular was about poop and we spent all of our time talking about farts, but I will say a well known hank take is that farts are just stimpoo I mean, I feel like a fart is just like the appetizer to a poop. I feel like they're It's the precursor, the announcement You know, etcetera. Yeah. Yeah. it seems related. There's a theory in humor the I the sort of but the benign transgression is what it's called. So like a true transgression is something that's going to aggravate you. but finding a way to do a transgression in which everyone is aware that there like no harm was actually done The response we have to that. is this weird how did this evolve evolutionarily? Like lots of lotots of animals have benign transgressions and don't think anything of them. It's just like, oh yes peopleople or the other animals poop and fart and Iie poop and fart. and that's not like a part of My like in her life. I'm not thinking about the whoopping and firing. I'm just like existing. But with us, there's this benign transgression thing where it's like it seems like it may be a kind of thing that we evolved in order to have a way to display intelligence to potential mates or to our social group to like build status by being like, I can do something very clever. I can do something that is transgressive, but it is not harmful And we had like like a little evolutionary arms race about it. because it's like growing antlers except for. So growing antlers is a way of like displaying how strong and tough and successful you are But this is a way of displaying You know, humor is a way of displaying how, like, clever and smart you are. with true social proof. L You can't do good humor unless you're pretty clever Yeah, no one hundred percent. there's also like the thing of like, you know, it takes a smart person to play dumb really well when it comes to like the acting side of that. Yeah. The people that can, you know improv in like movies or whatever the medium might be, it takes generally a pretty smart person to kind of interact with stupid humor in a way that kind of walks the line of offensiveness, but also is I I think of Patrick from Spongebob, for example. the early the first season of Patrick's character, especially, most of the time the joke is funny because the joke is clever It's just this stupid character delivering on that Je. I also think too about like how with that question of like how these things evolved and stuff, I do wonder if cultural differences play a role in this. Like my understanding is that certain cultures don't, in certain cultures Sarcasm, for example, or like irony or exaggeration are not perceived to be quite as innocuous as they may be in our culture where it's kind of just a flippant thing we do. in other cultures, there might be a little bit of a disconnect there if like an American's like, you know, tries to engage with that level of like sarcasm or irony or you know you know, exaggerating something that might not mesh as well in a different culture. So that's also something that that's really interesting to me Yeah. Yeah, but but but also interesting that like ancient suumer, which is like presumably pretty different from The year twenty twenty six in America Fs were still funn Yeah,art the fart remained despite all despite all the differences s the fart is the is the key similarity. Yeah. so it seems like we've been up to it for a while. Okay , we got a question from Katarina who asks ar Hankin Cal. I'm making carrot cake from a box. as box cickakes are the best. And the box says high altitude three thousand five hundred to six thousand five hundred feet, stir one tablespoon of all purpose flour into dry cake mix. Why does my altitude matter when making a cake? I know things like change at altitude, but how? What if I'm above six thousand five hundred feet? Can I make a cake? Is there a limit Thanks. Baking a cake on a mountain, Katerina. Katerina, it matters so much. It matters. Are you a baker or did you just look this up? I literally when I read this question, I also became so fascinated by this because I was like, oh yeah, like I understand that baking changes at different altitudes, but I have like no clear cut way of explaining why or how to another person, and that kind of revealed a gap in my own knowledge that made me deeply uncomfortable because that's how my brain is Do you have anything to add? because I could just go the stuff that I was able to pull up. Yeah, yeah. I mean, what the big thing is to remember is that like air is around and it's it could be different from place to place And it matters. like the amount of air, it seems like it's constant, but indeed it is not. Yeah, no, fromom what I could tell, like it affects So many different steps of the baking process. It does. Let's see if it does. I live at high elevation. It's a pain by this. Yeah, it's a pain. Like making beans, you can't pay attention to the instructions on the beans bag. It's gonna be like two hours longer because water boils at a lower temperature Right, rightight. And is it I think I was looking up too and it's like evaporation is goes at a faster rate. I think for baking specifically Some of the tips I saw, which were really interesting. so the biggest changes is because of the air pressurees. That affects the leavening of a lot of bubbles that form in the in the cake So we what you want is cake that has like a good spongy texture And so they have like through centuries of hard work and experimentation, we have found the right ratios of everything. But one of the things that's in the ratio that you don't realize is the air pressure around. So if you've ever like seen the experiment where somebody takes a balloon like like a deflated with a knot tight in it balloon and put it in a vacuum chamber Oh I take a balloon. That that like has no air in it, or it doesn't appear to have any air in it. put in a vacu chamber, but you tie it knot in it As the air gets pumped out of the chamber, the balloon inflates The boon does not have more air in it. It is just that the air around it is pushing on it less. And so it is the air that's in there expands and pushes the balloon out. in that same way, if you are at a higher elevation, it's closer to a vacuum. You could think of it as a spectrum toward a vacuum and those little bubbles the air that gets created by the yeast or by the baking soda. the gas in those bubbles There's less air pushing down on it. and so the bubbles will form too fast and too big and they'll break the structure of the cake and the cake will collapse Yeah, that's a lot of what I saw was like the issue with like the structure of the cakes collapsing. if you don't make those adjustments. Even things like because of the increased evaporation, it like causes the sugar concentration to be higher. And then if the sugar concentration is higher, you know, it's gonna weaken the structure of the cake. A lot of other tips I saw You need less baking powder, less baking soda Yeah because things rise way quicker. And so you don't need as much. And yeah, from what I saw, it's just basically you have to do a little bit of science. You just have to do a lot of trial and error because one thing I didn't know, it's not a clean cut this elevation, do it this way, at this elevation, do it this way. From what I was able to see, I was like looking at king Hi King Arthurbaking. com apparently Even like micro environments on the same mountain can require different adjustments to the baking And so I think to answer their other question, like, can you bake over sixty five hundred feet. I think it would just involve a lot more of those trial and error adjustments as you continue to go higher and higher Yeah, yeah. there's a point at which like it'd be very hard to bake a cake in a pure vacuum No right. I'm up to being convinced that it's possible. That sounds like a cool YouTube video. I'd watch at three A. Yeah ye ye It was interesting to try to make a vacuum chamber that could handle the baking temperature of a cake seems possible, though making one that you could see it do would be very hard Anyway, that's me trying to now think of how Well, now that's your next video. That's your next video.. But yeah, the the u it's It so the thing that they say, the easy thing to do is just like toss a little bit more flour in ' that's gonna to create more potential structure. But yeah, all these things like less gas more structure. Like some changes in the sugar, more water because the water's going to evaporate faster. I think you also need to bake at a higher temperature I believe in order to so that structures don't have as much time to sink. Right. But then that also creates a cascading domino effect of other changes you have to make because of that. So it just reminds you how hard we've worked to get to where we are. Baking ex very simple. ' they just put it in a box But it's complicated and we've been working on it for a long time We didn't use to have baking powder. We used to have to enlist the yeast in this process. That wass very tricky ye Now we're dealing with microbes. We didn't even know You think if you were just like a random like peasant some time ago lik trying to bake goods. You either had to do whatever your grandma said worked for her the thousands of times that she figured it out Or you kind of just had to trial and error it like it was you had wor of you had word of mouth to go off of, but you didn't have like these neat exact instructions. I'm sure it was a lot more kind of figuring things out Yeah. Well, It was more figuring things out, but people talked all the time. They were telling each other's stories about farts Yeah And they were telling each other recipes about cake. Speaking of there was a lot there was a lot of I just You know, that that the sort of like recipe book that we have now It an interesting thought? Like when was the first recipe book? Probably not that long after the first printed book or maybe before I could imagine it would have been one of the most important things to start writing down But then again, sometimes humans order of priority does not make a ton of sense. For example, we have Super ancient fart joke. like We have a similarly ancient, though not quite as ancient recipe. I've just looked it up. And Oh cool. How old Yeah seventeen hundred BC So pretty long, What is it written on? Is it Cay tablet? Clay I was about to ask. Is it clay? That makes a ton of sense I can't figure out what someone tried is for though? I'm looking There's no way someone hasn't tried it twenty five recipes of stews or broths with brifions Stew Stew has anchored humanity through some of the darkest times. Are you arere you up to date on the perpetual stew Oh, I know of perpetual stews Yeah there are people on Instagram that are doing it. There's one called Stutius. It has a name Stius is Stius has been black. a long time Backly not a color I want for a stew. No. Is Stutius okay? I hope Stutius is not giving people any incurable diseases. My understanding though is that the concept of a perpetual stew is a real thing potentially that inside taverns would have. So it just would be something that if you know, traveler randomly came in You know, you just spoon up what's been continuously cooking Yes it's always hot forever, which like that keeps it Safe I If it's if it's above the boiling if it's boiling or simmering, then that's not going to be a dangerous to eat. At the same time, there's an amount that you can boil a chicken that's too much. L I've I've make stock. I love this is a thing that I do. I' I ruse a day when I when I wander into the tavern and I get that one piece of chicken that's been sitting at the bottom of the perpetual stew for a week You know you don't want to be that guy I mean like eating in other countries is always a little surprisingt not always can often be a little surprising with regards to the amount of bones I'm dealing with American food were're really like, let's make sure that none of those bones are in there. We're going to have We're gonna make boneless wings, which is not a possible thing as a chicken nu. I love my adult chicken nuggets and I need you to off I need you to back No, but I actually okay, here's my kind of controversial take on that, like the American obsession with bonelessness. I actually feel like it's more dangerous because the amount of times I have been served something that has provided under the conditions that it has no bones And I therefore have eaten it with reckless abandon and then quickly discovered that it did in fact have bones. I feel like if you already know that the food has bones in it, you will eat f work carefully and not get stuff lodged in your throat andre not like haveave a really scary moment in the middle of a sushi restaurant and debate whether or not. You have to immediately call nine hundred eleven hypically Fish poonds are no joke. They're scary. Oh my, It's literally like a little tiny razor blade and you kind of just I'm like, okay, did it get down far enough where the stomach acid is going to take care of it Or am I going to be in the ER for a while? It's a bad moment. It's a bad moment. Yeah Yeah, I had a friend who had like a giant abscess in his intestines and he didn't know what it was, thought it might be cancer and there was like a whole process. And then finally they figured out And they were like, we don't know what happened, but maybe like a fish bone And I'm like, what? that can happen Wow. Wait it was just like the body becoming irritated and kind of got like. And then there was an infection and then it kept like walling off the infection and the infection kept growing inside of the walled off area That is so cool from like the fact that like, That whole time he didn't realize that his body was protecting him Oh yeah, he was like fing threatening infection. Yeah. For so long before it finally like it just couldn't keep It was f until it literally got too big. it started to block stuff and then it was he was not fine anymore so when you your food can't get through you, it's not pleasant. Well yeah I am fascinated being made of meat U and Hey, can I tell you something? I've never felt more made of meat than the past few months. I have felt so Yeah strongly how meat like I really am at the end of the day. It's surgery, surgery will do that to you. It really makes you realize that you are just Youre to go in there meet take parts out The name of a punk band that I'm starting, by the way, no one can take electric meet just That one is fine. Yeah. This it's always It's yeah, it's it's overwhelming. I feel very much that way after having gone through cancer where I' just I'm just a bunch of fickaking cells, man. And they're all thinking we're not all of them or some of them or they're all working together to create some kind of consistent theory of mind very very, very much more I feel much more like a biology than I did before. Yeah, I think I've spent I think in ways it's good. I think I've spent a lot of my life very disconnected from my body and very cerebral and up here all the time.. And I think going through, you know any number of different kinds of health issues that someone might go through In some ways it's terrifying and existential, but in other ways, it does really connect you, I think, to this o, I'm an animal like these clothes and these plastics and these if you drop me naked in the forest somewhere, like I am basasically No different than any other living organism in that environment. This is all just trappings of intelligence at the end of the day Yeah. scary but cool I love that I love the thought of an alien coming to Earth and being like, look at all these animals and then like This one W the headphones is interesting. The rest of them don't have. I know about this one. Yeah. like immediately. Like if you're wearing the clothes, you got the like I feel like eyeglasses, you're like, o, those ones are special Those ones are like, those ones are doing some weird stuff They they can't anymore, but they're making it so that they still can Yeahs there's something wrong thatact What's going on there? Why are Why are they trying so hard? They seem like very well fed, but still very anxious. Yeah, it seems like these ones with the glasses seem to be overcompensating for something. I don't know. Why are they behaving that way? Why are they so stressed out when they have enough food Exactly. All right, Molly asks Do your hink a cow I'm running out of breakfast foods to eat. Nothing sounds good to me. I have gone through all of the generic breakfast food options. I'm in need of creative options. What are some of your favorite things to eat for breakfast that you don't get sick of after two weeks? Pumpkins and penguins, Molly Molly I'm so opinionated about this. I'm so opinionated about this. do you have like regars or there is only one correct answer to this question. And it is the bagel sandwich. a bagel sandwich. Because a bagel sandwich can be anything. It's literally impossible to get tired of it. You can do sweet bagel savory cream cheese. You can do savory bagel with sweet cream cheese. You can do any number of different combinations of proteins vegetables, smmears, sauces, anything. and we have funny names for all these different types of combination of bagel and other stuff. And it's really and sometimes we put all of this stuff on it and we call them everything bagel It's so it's so great. Molly you'll never get bored I like this because what you're saying to me right now is as long as it's bagel, it's breakfast. I I do think so so bagel, bagel protects you from executive dysfunction during meal times for half of the day. And then sandwich cararries the torch until evening Be and There's bagel sandwich and then there's sandwich. What I'm hearing is that you're probably a pretty big fan of sandwiches. Yes, yes. and it's great. The bagel allows me to consume sandwiches at a time that is generally not considered as appropriate to consume sandwiches. Yeah.ue. question about this I like that because you can you don't have to get tired of it because like a blueberry bagel with cream cheese is very different from like a spinach herb bagel with turkey and cheese, but they could both be breakfast. Exactly they're bagel. And they're tot totally different things. all They're so good for, um eat dietary restrictions as well. Like I've had really slapping gluten free bagels, which I have not been as impressed with other gluten free offerings, but a gluten free bagel I and then you can go super vegan with it as well There's there's just even Molly, I don't know what's going on in your life. Maybe maybe the options are limited. The bagel sandwich can be there for you. I promise I so my my breakfast situation. is a little embarrassing becausecause I don't know. I look I shouldn't I shouldn't prejudge. Let me know if this is embarrassing I put it. Yogurt and milk protein powder, maple syrup and Cerios into a bowl and then I stir it up. And it is my favorite thing in the world You see you primed me for it to be embarrassing, but then you didn't need to prime me. Like it was still like it Wait, so sorry. So it's yogurt. Y Cheerios Is it Cheerios, he said? And then maple syrup and then milk protein powder prote pe. So it's like you're basically just making really thick cereal. Why do you need your cereal to be so thick, Hank? like I like it like I like it thick. I don't know what to say. Well but no, I will say Hank, I have never heard of anyone doing that before. It's like I really I mean, you are a very special guy in that. It's evolved over the years. You know, it was at first it was process. What's that It was at first it was just yogurt and then and then I was like, and then I was like You know, if somebody like one time was like, you could put maplerup in yogurt and I did that And I was like, oh this would be good Cheerios. And then I was like, o, like it's a little too thick. And so I started adding adding milk. and then I was like, oh, everybody says you should eat protein now So I put the protein powder in there. I was like, A actually that makes it better. It makes it like thicker moreore my my breakast was serious. think And then it was Yeah it needs to be made Thick. I feel like Yeah it was a it's like a different thick. Okay This it G get out stak your wor.'s's there's a w there's like different varieties of thickness, you know. It's not all. So you're so you're on that protein powder thing I do I do tend to have some protein powder every day because I feel like it's very hard otherwise to get to the amount that I feel I should be getting to which is probably made up, but What type what type of protein powder how this is how we tee up our next sponsorsorship at the store. it's time to tee up our protein powder sponsorship. That we have It guess is't much money on the line. It is brought to you by the cheapest protein powder at the grocery store. The cheapest protein powder at the grocery store. It's the one that Hank gets. Now with fifteen percent less lead Which is great. This podcast is brought to you by Ppetual Stew The stew is so old. The stew is so old and black And the aroma emitting from it is frankly disturbing someomebody Can stews live? Should it die Should we kill it? Perpetual stew This guest is also brought to you by vacuum Cake. The vacuum cake is made in a vacuum in my oven, maybe for a future YouTube video. And we might see Hank explode on camera That's the pull. That's the draw.'s like that's how's watch That' a good point. I am now less excited about making this video. leave that one up to William Ozdinnerers There's going be so many views. That thumbnail is gonna go crazy. Yeah, me with like Fingers missing, ye This podcast is brought to you by Kissing You ever you ever try to you ever try to kiss a woman who's actively having affair with another man while Herman is sleeping in a barn This product is great for you It's it's a poker with lips on the end of it so that you potentially feel away kisses of surprising nature. You can kind of feel the kiss first makeake sure that you have the right end A person sharing the kiss with you. And if you don't know harm no foul. Well, I thought if you don't, you've got your poker right there. Oh yeah, yeah the lipss open and then the hot poker comes out. So it it's a dual purpose Right It's a dual purpose thing Yeah, no. I mean, I don't I don't know if this is going to be a successful product, but they bought us sponsorship, so we read it. They're paying us money, so we're saying what they told us to say Wait, so, do you eat that breakfast every day? Are you like a this is my breakfast kind of person? I'd say that is On the days when I eat breakfast, which is not everyday, like sometimes I always have a banana. but on the days when I eat breakfast, I'd say that's like sixty percent seventy percent. Okay. That's pretty. And then like the other days are when I'm going fancy and having eggs H. J Yeah. I you just I kind of flink Breakfast and lunch are always in matrimony in brunch for me because I usually if I eat breakfast, it's really late and it's basically a lunch And it has lunch like qualities to it, usually U And also I've often found that if I put off D don't tell don't tell the doctors about this one. you know, because I know that breakfast is most poor meal of the day. I sometimes will not eat until noon Yeah because I find that I do some of my best writing when my stomach is as hungry as my brain is forward Getting things done. I don't know. Maybe it's like when my body is breaking down food, mayaybe it's like woristracted. byy that process. I don't know. But sometimes when I have food, I'm just too full and happy and I can't I can't write and be happy. Yeah, the blood's down there digesting food. I need it up here where the I need as much as I can't get And just my thoughts. That's interesting. I used to not eat before noon. But then I had a child and everything changed. Oh, that changed Yeah. Now like I'm up at seven. Like't I can't eat before. I'm up at seven. Yeah. At least to wake up ten and I'd be like, I' eat before noon. It's like, Yeahah, you were you woke up at ten fifteen. Unconscious. I don't know what you're bragging about. All right. this nice question Cubs from David who asks dear Hank andkeal. I recently saw some debate on the internet's worst corner, the Hellscape formerallyly known as Twitter. The debate was around wanting a car to be zero percent computer. I was curious. what is the appropriate amount of percent computer for my car to be not on a space Odyssey. David I do think the cars are too much computer now. I agree. there are certain features that I think are kind of controversial, likeike some people love them, some people hate them. I personally cannot stand the push to start I know a lot of people love the push to start. Here's my story about why I don't like the push to start some point I had I was using, you know, you get two sets of car keys, right Yeah. And so at one point I put my car in the garage didid not bring my car keys are left my car keys in the cup holder and left when the house did not realize And then later on, accidentally grabbed my other set of car keys. T to go out to my car. And because it's a push just touch, push to our operation or everything That's If long as the keys are in the vehicle, the car will push to start and that's how that looks. So For a while, I am N not to my knowledge, but I am using quote unquote, a set of keys while another set of keys is actively the cup holder. So I have two sets of car keys in the car at some point I forget my car keys But I go into my car, which has a set of car keys that I have forgotten about and I start my car, I drive all the way To the store, come back but I don't I don't have my car keys. And so I am freaking out. later this story is so convoluted, but I'm getting to the point. I promise we can cut this out. I need to share this story because it's so insanely embarrassing and stupid I freak out I eventually find the other set of car keys and I'm like, okay, I didn't lose my car keys. But all the while the push to start is feeding this delusion because the only requirement for the push to start is that the keys are in the vehicle. Yeah. fast forward I at some point come out to my car. And it has been rummaged through. Oh no. And I'm like, oh my God, how is that possible My keys are in the house It's because the keys We're sitting Yeah in the card holders. the person was able to yank it And that person could have easily driven off with him in my car Yeah because the keys were sitting right there in the cup holder. I could have easily had someone take my car for a joy ride. All this to say Sometimes I think the things that make These u newer software based cars more convenient also make us dumber and b about being drivers. I think is my concern. Yeah Yeah. ' I fel dumb and bad, hank? I felt dumb and bad. Yeahkeys in my car.ike My car was basically unlocked for months is what you're telling me. Yes. Yes. So I mean so this is a this blows my mind. There are now cars that you don't have push to start. They just, so some EVs, you just get in them and they' I I'm kind of like, okay, I guess. Like if I don't have to like think about the fact that I'm going get there enngine revving. you just get in And you just put it in drive or, reverse and you just drive away. You don't have to start the car, stop the car It knows you got in. which is because there's a computer connected to the door, also connected to the keys. And so they know the keys are in the car. It's a lot. My car, so here's one thing I know for sure. There shouldn't be a motor in the door handle. Oh, absolutely not. Yeah. That's just like way too much stuff could go wrong I don' that makes me deeply uncomfortable. And I've got my car right now has motors in the door handles. like you walk up to it and the door handles. like And I'm like, I feel like that's entirely to be impressive in the year twenty twenty two and it's twenty twenty six now and it's already like God, I do not want that Like ye, now the door is just more expensive. You've made the door more expensive. And if I like hurt the door somehow, that's gonna like I don't want to total my car by getting a ding in the door, you know, and like breaking the the motor that's in the door handle. No, I just want to slull on a door handle like a man Like a not a man, but like a human reveals toxic masculinity on the P and John podcast. I was a witness. I was I don't I want the door to so heavy only a strong man can only a very strong a woman into a car. It's only first men. Opening the door for her. Yeah I love women too much doors by themselves. Yeah, I gu It t away it' taking away It makes it worth being a man. What are we even for anymore Uh so that's not the concern that I have. I There's just there is I there's too much that's controlled inside of the screen. There's a button in my car And I don't know why. This button exists, but if it's a physical button and you can accidentally hit it and it limits the top speed you can go. Oh, whichich is horrible because I accidentally hit it and I'm like, why can't I suddenly go faster than twenty? That's dangerous. Oh wait, is that? I was gonna ask so what is the threshold above that button? No, it's like wherever you are at the time like I think that's how it works. It's happened a couple of times and I'm just like, ah and I have to like stop and be like, what the heck is going on my car? And The thing that made me feel like, ooh, my car definitely has too much percent of computer is when the big screen in the front of it will suddenly be like, oh, there's an update or something Yeah. certain things will be suddenly unavailable to me without warning. And it's like likeike car Yeah to do car now. Yeah just do car unless there's a problem, do car. Yeah I also think too like I sometimes make myself like physically look back when I back up and things like that, even though I have the big screen there, just because I'm worried about like not knowing how to do that. And also too, I think the big problem that I like Tactile buttons. I like. Yeah. physical things where I touch them and it make it make the good sound and it's it's great. I like having a big like I love actually being able to pull a car into drive My partner has a car where that is a series of buttons Yeah You don't actually have the stick.'s good the series. Yeah. I hate I like it it's changing and modifying things that we're not Yeah. if any don't fix it, it is kind of like can I tell you So likeer I find that people think that they took away the buttons because it makes because it's like fancier to have the buttons not be there or like they like people like the designers were like, we need to make it look sleeker and so we're going to take away the buttons. It's like minimalism kind of push. That might that might be the reason why they got away with it But it's actually cheaper to make a car without the buttons Oh percent are expensive And so they don't want the buttons in there And like so they like found a way to just not let to be like, oh, the car is like minimalist And And also it's also cheaper. Like also we have there's like fewer I to sell you less for more and you're gonna like do ejection molding for it. Yeah. Yeah . I need I need the buttons, I need the stick, I need the and I I really I so I guess getting to the what is the appropriate percentage? I would say I think that's going to depend on the person, obbviously if you have any kind of you know, disabilities or something like that, maybe there's theseart more smart cars are going to be a little bit more comfortable for you in your lifestyle. I think this is a person to person thing for me, I feel like my percentage is quite low, lower than what I have now. It's definitely lower than what I am currently dealing with. and I think I've not owned that many cars in my life. I think this has been like my biggest likeike This is the smartest car I've ever had and that was very much like, okay, no, that's too smmart me. So I now know what my limit of smart is O computer is in the car for sure So like my car will tell me if I'm maybe gonna to rearend somebody, which like has never happened when I might actually rearend somebody At the same time It only has to save me from murre ending somebody like once in a thousand times for it to be very worth it, you know. Um But so I've gotten this like alarm several times and I'm like, I am driving completely normally and I'm well aware of how close that car is in front of me. But right the the there's also it has like lane keep, you know, where it's like if you start if you don't turn on your turn signal and you start to go to another lane, it will physically not allow you to do that. And I'm like, Ah I guess I should have turned my turn signal on, but jeez, that's up That feels like an overreaction I think like Yeah, aside from like the breaking like before like immediate impact. Yeah, I think I am worried about the direct intervention Yeah I'm so I get it. get that the cars will be safer in the future. But they are so much computer. And there's a piece of me that like thinks that somebody will come up with a car partarticularly like maybe even an EV that's just like very minimalist and there will be like a big market for that It'll like do. One thing which is drive You know It's just going to be like a drive car Um, I think there's companies working on cars like this that are just like Maybe it's going to be cheaper if there's like a lot less going on in this car. That too, but I'm also seeing like this in my generation and younger specifically, I'm definitely seeing a pull towards maximalism and a romantization of aesthetics from the seventies and eighties.. So I do wonder if there would be a market for basically reskinning modern cars to look like how cars use because I feel like there's a lot of people in my generation and younger that are definitely like pulling away from minimalism and getting very tired of minimalism and u have started really romanticizing like the way older vehicles looked, the color, the shapes, the individuality. So I do wonder if there's gonna to be a bit of an interesting push and pull perhaps, whichich I think would be very cool. I would be down. if you could see the video that's happening right now, you might notice that neither of us seem particularly interested in minimalism. No. Certainly, certainly not. But there's maximalists of every generation. I do think I do think though I am seeing more of a larger Oh away which I think happens every like ten years or so. There's like minimalism, maximalism and they kind of just trade turns. Whatever your mom did is not cool, do the opposite. Yeah. of that for sure going on. there was that, I don't know if you were culturally aware at the Marie Condo moment. I have no idea how old you are Do you who Marie Condo is? The name kind of sounds familiar. She was like like a minimalism influencer and she wrote this book that I don't remember the name of, but the idea was you should like take objects and you should like hold them to yourself and be like, does this spark j Do does this spark joy Yeah. And if it doesn't spark joy, then you're like, whyy would I have this in my life? And I'm like, literally I do that and I'm like, yeah It does. It like super does. Yeah, I think that's how I generally feel. I think it depends, I think for some people, like my background and like your background, that amount of like clutter and color and little tiny dusty objects would be a source of stress Whereas for me, I look at that and I'm like, o ye, that's my stuff. I like my stuff. I can see my stuff. My stuff's there. Nobody else has my stuff. It's right there becausecause I put it on the shelf that that's where the stuff is But for other people, it's like, oh, like this thing is slightly dusty or this thing is slightly out of position and that can be kind of a source of stress. My wife definitely finds the office to be stressful. She's like she's like, I can't really spend time happily in there. There's a lot of people in my life that feel very similarly. I think it really just depends on Yeah Weather stuff is a source of stress or Right, especially with like should it is it all right? you know? Katherine Kasna has like the vibe of like, is everything like in its proper spot right now? And that's not a thing that happens in this office Things aren't in their proper spot I mean, I do have like labels on my drawers at least, to tell me what goes in what drawer But other than that, I would love a label maker. That would be great. I should Oh, I mean mine's just masking takeape with Sharpie on it Oh, that's great. That's great. My handwriting is terrible D that. I feel like I would bother me to have to see examples of my own handwriting. around me at all times, I think that I would find that upsetting. Again, another problem I do not have we usually end this podcast with news from Mars and AFCMbleded, but we're simply not going to do that today because I have no idea when this episode is going to come I think surely July probably. If you would like more of Hank and Kal, well there will be an episode of Humans with the two of us where we get into what you do Yeah, I appreciate you coming on Dar Hank and John and just chatting and hanging out. What else do you have going on? Okay, so I have a Funky Frogbait channel where I post commentary content. I do media analysis. I also do analysis of social media trends and controversial slash interesting internet figures. I also have a channel called Funky Frog Plays where I stream video games and post edited videos of those streams and I have a really exciting announcement, which I believe if this is coming out in early July, it will be officially announced. but I amm going on tour. My tour is called the Internet Kid. If you are someone that can in any way relate to the experience or find interest in the experience of being a incredibly sheltered child that also simultaneously has completely unrestricted access to the internet and everything within it and how that can have effects on you as you grow into adulthood. Please come If you also just find the idea amusing and want to gawk and point and laugh, also please come, yourour money tastes the same to me. And also if you just enjoy it, it's gonna to be a weird fun show. We're going to be doing some musical I'm gonna be saying I'm going to be doing a bunch of crazy stuff on stage. It's gonna be Some stand up Variety show a little bit of stand up. Yeah. little bit of stand up, a little bit of variety, little bit of music It's gonna to be very fun. It's the most's awesome experimental thing I've ever worked on. and I'm super, super excited. That's awesome. Where can we go to find it out about that U information will be all over my Instagram and my YouTube channels. and yeah, you should look for a city near you over there. Well, thank you for coming on. I'm excited. I've It the stand up is so' such an interesting thing to to go from what we do to doing the thing on a stage. And I really enjoyed that And I'm really like glad that you are doing it also. Oh yeah, no, I think I'm coming from a little bit of a different direction whereas a lot of content creators in my position are moving from screen to stage. My experience has kind of been stage screen and then back to the stage. So it feels a lot like kind of coming home a little bit. and that makes me Really, really happy Thank you to everybody who's sented your questions. You can send them to Hank and John at gmail. comot That's where's without that, what do we even have? Nothing. There' a bunch of good ones that we didn't get to, We'll put them in the next week. This podcast was edited by Linus Oenhouse. It was mixed by Andrew Smith. Our marketing specialist is Broo Shotwell. It's produc by Rosianna Hall's Rohos and Hanah West. Our executive producer is Seth Rradley. Our editorial assistant is Daboki Chak Rivvardi. The music you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the Great Gunarola. And as they say in our hometown D don't forget your