Podcast Recommendations and Outro

Ready for a thrill? Or two? Or three? Bister Village, incredible savings, brands and services are just the beginning. Shop with up to 40% off every day and enjoy the calm and charm of the village. The thrill of discovery awaits. Less than an hour from London. Mister Village What will you find? This is a Global Player original podcast. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Hello, it's Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby here. You're about to hear the radio show that we did on Sunday. Yes. Or clips of it. Long clips. Long clips of it and we didn't do it on Sunday. Clippable content. Yes, clippable content. That was on on Sunday. It was on on Sunday. Yes. We're still in our mad um let's try and pre-record every show for the rest of the year. Yeah, so let's get on with it. Let's get on with it, guys. Uh I'm gonna read this uh email very quickly. Well that is this is it. Hurry up. By the way, can I just say this? Did you know, uh did you see the the time uh uh the time code on the last episode we did? No. So the episodes are normally an hour, hour and five. If it's me and a guest, hour and twenty five. It was 38 minutes long. Was it? How? I don't know. I've not listened to it. What did we say? I've got no idea. But we did 38 minutes of God's. Wasn't that show live? No. No. No, it wasn't. It was the first of It was the first of the three on the day we did three in the first. God knows what the next one's are going to be though. That's what I'm thinking about. 12 minutes. It's going to be. How have we got this far into the show and only just crack we can do that? We can do thirty eight minutes long. Uh yes, this is from uh Stuart from Nottingham. He says possible entry for a couple of texters. Uh what do I not know who it is? I have no idea who Joan Armour Trading is. And when I first heard the name, I thought it must relate to some sort of shop. buying and selling medieval battle garments. New texture of who do I not know who it is and sounds like something else maybe. Good look at the charts this week. Stuart from Nottingham. Lovely. So Sunday at radiox.co.uk if you've got somebody that you don't know who they are or not only you think they sound like something else maybe. You sound like something else may be. Get in touch. Um Yes, we've got a br the brilliant Catherine Bohart on the show today. We had a lovely chat with her. She's absolutely brilliant. Yes. So let's not waste any more time. This is 38 minutes of the finest content. Including this. Including it's including the intro and outros we did for the God. Unbelievable is the show. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio X. It's the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show on Radio X, and we have got some big news. Vin is away on holiday for the next two weeks in Thailand. Cheeky boy. But that means we have in his place producer John. Yes, two weeks. with the supply teacher. I mean I mean a very different but very very much in charge producer. Now now uh we know John's been here before but just to remind him of the way it normally works when Vin is here. Firstly, six seven isn't banned. I know it's I know it's banned in other studios, but Vin's like a cool producer. He lets us do 67. He also tries to get us to do 69, cheeky boy. Um Uh also Vin normally lets us put on a uh a DVD. Uh I've got a the box set of Twilight, we could watch that. Vin sometimes puts on his own DVDs but they make us feel funny. Cheeky boy. Uh also John can you hear a can you hear a weird noise? Oh John, I think the studio's broken, John. I think we all have to go home, John. Can you hear that, John? You know it sounds like the noise that uh Vin makes when he's googling hotels this day in in Thailand. Cheeky boy. Uh also Vin lets us go on our phones, he lets us race our razor scooters all around the studio, and he even lets us have cigarettes and alcohol, even if all he's our four is a cross-on note flat white. Radio Ed Gambler Matthew Crosby here on Radio X of a Sunday morn. Yes, happy Sunday, everybody. Of course there are some people uh in the world who go straight from Saturday to Monday. Yes, absolutely. The six weekers. The six six day weakers as they're the six day weaker. The six day weakers. I think I think they've got it right. Yeah. They get more weeks. They get more they do get more They do get more weeks. The great thing about it, you know that you know there there are those guys who like break up their day into sort of micro days and get more days. Yeah. That's what we should be doing. Yeah, that's it. They're more productive. I tell you what, if you want to be a CEO Forget about Sunday. Forget about Sunday. Straight back from Monday. Absolutely right. Happy Monday to all the CEOs out there. Happy Monday, everybody. Yes, we've also got Producer John here. Yes. As well. Great to have Producer John here. Thanks for coming on the show, John. It's my pleasure. Yeah. I mean Thanks on the show and making the show happen. Yeah, we wouldn't be able to do it otherwise if you don't know any of the buttons do we're not allowed to touch them. But uh that could be a fun way to pass the time. What is it? How do we how you you guys press the buttons? We've tried that before. It did not go well. We've tried that. I've been I've uh been allowed to be in control of the desk before, and it was one of the worst shows we've ever done. There was a good bit where you found a button that played uh an anecdote from Rob Beckett that lasted about two days. And that was really good. I think that might have been the best bit of broadcast I've done. I had access to the Moyle soundboard. And one of the Moyle soundboards is a full anecdote from Rob Beckett. Yeah, yeah. He's never he's never come on the show? It's never come on the show. He's not coming on any show I've done. Does he not like you? Apparently not. Wow, what a what a great way that is. Is this is this beef season three? I think it is. Is that what it is? We've had Carrie Mulligan and Oscar Isaacs. Now we've got Ed Gamble and Rob Beckett. Finally. Finally a beef. I'd love that. I'd love to be on the new season of Beef. I think that would be really good. Yeah. But it's not It's not a really active like you're not screaming at each other in the street kind of beef. It's just a comment cross parts. You follow the lives of two very separate people. Yeah. But And when we do see each other we actually get on pretty well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but you know, just through his management. Something's gone wrong. Something's happened there. Yeah. Uh anyway, look look forward to that on Netflix. Um Ed, how are you doing, by the way? Pretty good. Because you've been last time we spoke, you're moving house. Moved. You're now moved. New house. New house. Absolutely hate being out of it. You hate being out of you out of the the old house or out of the new house. out of the new house. Oh, okay, I get it. Sorry, I thought you were having buyers remote. No, no, I was like oh I've made a huge mistake. I hate um being out. You hate being here? Yeah. Yeah oh yeah but it's I want you to know Yes, I always hate being here. And also it's not just here I hate being. It's everywhere that's not my house. What's so good about your house? Or the box. I've got all loads of stuff. Uh play around with it. Um Cats there, wife's there sometimes. Yeah, that's nice. It does sound very idyllic, and we've got a barbecue. You've got the barbecue. Yeah. And you've you know what? We've had the weather for it as well. Have you had have you been barbecuing in the garden? Last night. Last night was the inaugural. The uh the new maiden voyage, the relaunch of the barbecue. Yeah. Nice. What did you do? Talk us through your BBQ. Very very quick, 'cause my wife was home a bit late, so I did uh some chicken skewers, some chimichuri chicken skew. Lovely. Uh and some uh an array of sausages. And then actually I um grilled some red onions uh and grilled some gem lettuce. You grilled lettuce. Put them together, bit of pomegranate uh molasses. Lovely, it was good. Mint parsley. Now I've never grilled a lettuce before. I always assumed lettuce was one of those things that you just didn't have to cook. Yeah, but that that's why you're not a barbecue professional. That's right. No no The barbecue pros out there know that anything can be grilled. I bought a barbecue uh a few years ago. couldn't get it to work and then I left it outside the house. That's my that's my entire story of having a barbecue. I mean we've surely had that this discussion before. We have, yeah. But was it a gas was it a gas barbecue? It was a gas barbecue. You said, Oh, you shouldn't have got a gas barbecue. I've you know I've still got The gas. Yeah. No no take that away. We've tried to get rid of the gas. Oh, if you want gas, I've got it. Why are you trying to get rid of your gas? 'cause I don't need it anymore 'cause I've got rid of the barbecue. Do you know easy for the oven? Yeah but no no no but it's a can of gas, isn't it? It's like a big old can of gas. Yeah we've got gas in the house, of course. But uh we've also got gas in the shed for no reason at all, just taking up space. And Abra' take you. Okay, we'll put it on the street WhatsApp. So it wants some gas. Yeah. I got rid of some helium that way. Did you? Yeah. What did you have helium for? For balloons for a party. And you just had some spare helium spare helium? Straight away. Yes, please. Yeah, but that' that'll be the that'll be the hipsters in your area. Yeah. Getting high off of it. I don't think that's when they're when they're doing balloons, is that not what they're doing? I don't think we're allowed to talk about this, but no, it's a different thing. Alright, well we'll talk about something else. Uh after this. Robbie J and the machine. Radio X. Rock the Kazbar. Why not? The Clash at Gambler Matthec. We've of course a Kazbar, I believe, Matthew, is a sort of Moroccan market. That's right. Well they might sell trousers. They might sell trousers, yeah. You'd imagine in a Moroccan market they might be uh more like a sort of MC hammer pant. Quite jazzy trousers. Jazzy, yes, exactly. Exactly. I uh I've We were talking earlier. I've washed some jeans. You've washed some smell in. I've washed some smell into the jeans. What is the smell that you washed into the jeans? Dank in a good way. No, no, no, no. Not like a meme, like a basement. It's they're absolutely disgusting my trousers now. So they're gone. So I'm now down to two pairs of trousers. Two G two Two pairs of trousers for daily wear. Yeah. I've got a few suits. Yeah, but you don't That's that's bottom of the barrel. The suit trousers may be smart in some context, but when you're wearing them with a T shirt out and about, they are the least smart thing you could possibly wear. Really bad. Everything's gone wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've I'm not gonna be wearing the I'm not gonna be wearing my funeral trousers. Uh I'm gonna be wearing my I'm gonna wear my black jeans. Which obviously my rock funeral trousers and uh my blue jeans. Be wore those towards these funeral dispute. Yeah, yeah. My black jeans or the jeans I'm wearing right now. Um I got a DM on Instagram from somebody saying I can help you with your trousers. Now of course I showed that to my wife straight away because anytime you get a DM saying I can help you with your trousers, you have to show it to your wife. But it turns out there's a a a a fashion journalist who listens to the show who got in touch with us. I'm gonna put it out there. I don't think they're a very good one if they listen to the show. Well I when I check I check Cool fashion. Yeah, no, I don't think I don't think uh she's listening to the show getting tips for for fashion. No, but with with very fashionable people, every single element of their life, fashion and trends bleed into it. So you're supposed Well look, I j I I I checked out this person. credentials. She she's written for Gentleman's Quar Quarterly magazine. Right. So she understands. She then emailed me and said, I'm also the exact same height as you. So I feel like I feel like now I'm on a a trouser based Odyssey with my own Professional stylist. A guru, a sherper of trousers. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So the same but why does it matter that she's the same height as you? Because she's gonna lend me her. She's gonna give you some ladies' fashion trousers. No, but I listen, the thing is now there is some trousers with pockets all over the No, there's no such thing as ladies' fashion and men's fashion anymore. There is. There isn't, no, there isn't. It's we've got cum you know it's complete equality for for what you can wear. I think in some areas absolutely and you know, all power to that. But I think there's definitely a A lady's trouser and there's a man's trousers. No, no, no. I'm gonna wear absolutely enormous trousers like I'm one of the Mitford sisters. That's what I'm gonna that's what I'm gonna. Anyway, listen, I don't want to. So have you got the trousers yet? No. So what's she doing for you? Well I'm a fashion journalist. We're we're getting we're getting our calendars aligned to to w to work out how we're gonna Well I I'm gonna say to her, look. You take me to uh to to wherever you buy trousers from. Mayfair? Do you buy trousers from Mayfair? You take me to London's Mayfair and uh and we'll we'll go shopping together and you can be my stylist. But does she know that you're s you're planning on going shopping with her, or do you is she just gonna send you some links to some trousers? Well I don't know what I don't know how the stylist works, but I've seen it in the movies. So she's your stylist? Yeah, she's my stylist. So has she agreed to that? Not yet, but listen, this is This is not an update, Matthew, this is a f a fantasy you have in your head. I've yet to s uh to to send the follow up email to Have you responded at all? Uh yeah, I've responded. I've responded to her, but I I what I think what I think I'm going to suggest is you know like in the movie where two people go out and uh the movie. You know, the movie, you know. Where two people uh they they they go out into like sort of uh like a fashionable part of town. Yeah And uh uh you go to like various changes. You're a montage. Various changes and and we do a funny montage, exactly. Yeah. Where where you know I come out in a really big pair of trousers and she shakes hair, then I come out in a really small pair of trousers and she shakes her head and then I've come out in a medium sized pair of broters and she goes to the double thumbs. There's one where you come out with them like you've got your arms through them. And you're all confused. Exactly. Yes. And we're laughing. I think it's gonna be great. So basically, the next time you see me barely gonna recognize. The only thing you're gonna recognize is the head. And the hands. Fashion people spend money on clothes. I'm worried that I think you have very much have a budget ceiling that you're unwilling to spend on clothes. I've told him I've told him my budget is £35. Right. And that includes buying the wardrobe as well. So already already going to IKEA. Yeah. It's thirty quid for the wardrobe. Yeah. So it's five pounds. Yeah, five pounds for my wardrobe. What do you think uh what do you think I'm looking at you know, if I want to get a a whole new look for me, you know J say one outfit. Would I be would I be able to do it all under say fifty quid? You could, but I wouldn't say that it would be the highest quality stuff. I don't think that would last necessarily. You might look nice. Yeah. Sky's the limit with fashion, Matthew. Of course you can buy affordable things and look lovely. Yeah. I think Should I remortgage my house? Again, I think I just think you so clearly don't have an idea that your two ideas are fifty quid and remortgage your house. I've got no clue in between. I don't know how much things cost. I I just I've I've got literally I I I so rarely buy clothes, I don't know. I sometimes go into shops and go, well that looks nice. Oh no, that's that's too expensive. And what's too expensive for you for 87 quid? Crunch and crumble. Radio X Bucket, Kings of Leon that reminds me I need to find my bucket. I've moved house recently. Moved house recently and I've packed my bucket somewhere I can't find it. Really? You can't find your bucket? That's the th the typically the things you sort of pack and you think, Oh I really need that are like the bottle opener or something like that, you know, where where you might need to. When we the night we moved in, obviously piles of boxes everywhere. Yeah. Um I did order a court scroll delivery. Did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know you could do that. You can order a court screw on Deliveroo. You can get anything on Delivery these days, mate. Can you? Yeah, yeah, big time. Can I get a pair of trousers on Delivery? Probably. That might be my. I'm sorry, stylists. If I can get them on Deliveroo. Yeah. If I would they wait while I try them on and then will they take them back? That's actually a really good idea for a service. That's a fantastic idea for a service. We'll get to the moving disasters bit in a second. We're gonna we're gonna interrogate this idea. That's a really good idea. Yeah where somebody right, here's the thing. But they they come to your house. They also have basic tailoring skills. Yeah. Okay. So if it needs to be taken up just a tiny bit. Uh, you know, take it up, take it in, any of those kind of things. Take it up, take it in, let me begin to paraphrase House of Pain. If they Yeah, that's great. But if you don't if you if you fundamentally don't like the trousers. They take 'em away again. Yeah, yeah. This is really personal shopper at home. Yeah. But you go through the full wardrobe, you have like access to the Debenham's catalogue or something. Absolutely right. Yeah. You click, click, click. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They bring it all over in a big cube. They stay there while you try it on. They take it up if you need it. If you want it, they've got a bibber. By purchase. Purchase that and if you don't want it, no harm, no foul. They pop it back on their bike and they cycle off. Or they put it on. Well they wear it. If you don't want it, I'll have it. That's what the services come. So they arrive wearing it so you can see what it looks like on someone. Okay, do you have to then order a a delivery driver who's the same basic shape is yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And uh he has to be prepared to ride home naked. That's right. Yeah. He arrives in one outfit. Yeah. That's an added little thrill, isn't it? Well no no, because if if he has to go home naked, what you really want is exhibitionists so they're incentivized. To sell. To sell. Yeah. Because otherwise that's going to be a very shy salesman. So what you really need is Oh you don't want this. No You don't need pants do you don't need this. No no no I I I feel like I'd be better in this one. No. Or take the helmet as well. That's r well It depends depends if you take the pants or not. Um Yeah, that's a good idea though. I think okay, right, we've we we've got a brand a brand new business idea. This is great. This is really, really good. This is finally gonna make our fortune. We've got Catherine Bohart coming up on the show in just a little bit. See what Catherine. See what she thinks of it. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Do you remember the high street hunnies? Happy Sunday, everybody, or of course Monday if you're a CE. Oh yes, it's Ed Gamble and it's Matthew Crosby. We're with you till 11 a.m. Catherine Bohart just around the corner. But producer John has been producing during this show. It's very, very rare. It's odd. It's an odd feeling, kind of. It's an odd experience. to have an actual competent producer doing some producing work, but you looked up trousers on Delivery during that last song. The first result was Screw Fix. They're a little bit out of your your budget though. How much Are like are they like so they're like protective work trousers, I'd imagine. These are real work trousers for real men. They're gonna last though, aren't they? That's the thing. You buy a pair of screw fixed trousers, you never buy another pair of trousers in your life. But y you like walking round just going to cafes and stuff, you look like a total blonker. Like I There is workwear is a is a fashion stuff. Yeah, but not workwear like this, I'd imagine. I'd imagine this is like padded stuff. I'd imagine this is. It's not like w they're not like Carhartt trousers, are they? They're They're DeWalt trousers. Yeah. These aren't stylish work trousers. These are actual work trousers. But the thing is they And you do not scream Laborer, Matthew. I don't. No one's gonna think that guy's off to the site. I did fix the fence the other day. Yeah. I very badly. But I did it. Point proven. I did it never I did it nevertheless. So I'm sort of moving into my handyman era. And I think my fashion needs to reflect that. I also think I'll get, you know, I think people will go, oh Didn't expect that of this guy, so I think it'll it'll cr it'll be a conversation. Also they'll be pristine the whole time. Always be really They'll be dank, but they'll be they'll be freshly washed. How uh how much are we talking for these DeWalt work trousers that you can get on delivery? These are about forty five pounds. Oh Matthew. That's too bit too expensive for you. There's um There's another shop. Which is selling Trousers for fifteen pounds. Yes. That's more why budget. Are they just more like fashion trousers? They're cargoes. They they've labeled them as work trousers. Yeah. Um you've also got like a sort of pajama. Trouser chef. They look a bit like chef trousers, though. Yeah. So I so I I basically I've I've gotta be one of the village people in order to buy trousers on delivery route. I've got I've gotta have a very recognizable job. Please don't wear the native American trousers. No, you you simply can't anymore. You simply can't anymore. Um I also got I've got a bit of a beef with with trousers j generally. Oh as a s as a Season four of beef. Season four of beef versus trousers. Beef versus trousers. I I do resent the fact that if I'm buying a pair of trousers as a small person I'm paying the same as a big person is paying. Big tall boy. Yeah. Big tall boy's paying the same for his jeans as little small boy. Yeah. Unless I'm buying them from uh Baby Gap. Yeah. You know. Which I occasionally I do I will I will shop in the kids section occasionally for a t shirt or something like that. The problem is if you go in there alone it doesn't look great, does it? Because you're often going in there with no trousers on. That's right. I go in there with no trousers. Say dress me mummy. And they absolutely hate it. Spit your dummy out. I'm just a I'm just a baby with could could could mummy could mummy dress baby. And I'm I'm banned from Westfield now. Yeah, I'm not no longer welcome. Anyway, Catherine Bowen. Life. I should be bad from life. Yeah, yeah. Catherine Bohart is just around the corner. We will won't be talking to her about my uh my uh adult baby preferences. I will. Will you? Yeah Okay, let's find out what she thinks of that. Catherine Bohart is just around the corner, stay tuned for her. Radio! Pisa! This thrilling, uplifting reinvention of Oliver is what ClassicFM called the greatest British musical ever. And is now wowing audiences at the Gilgart Theatre. Simon Lipkin's Fagin is remarkable and very funny, says the Times. The FT said this 24 carat must see lights up London. Oliver is packed full of memorable tunes and great performances, says the Sunday Times. and Matthew Bourne's sensational, rousing, and irresistible Oliver is pure joy said the Daily Telegraph. Think you've seen Oliver? Think again. I do anything to go again. Said the Sunday Express. Consider yourself at home at the Gilgart Theatre this spring. Now at oliverthemuscal.com Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. We are delighted to be joined by our first guest of the day, our first Scoop for Daddy. No thank you. It is of course. Thank you. All right, all right. Worth a try, wasn't it? Never. Never worth a try. Um it's Catherine Bohart, the brilliant Catherine Bohart. Hello, Catherine, how are you doing? Delighted It's the morning delighted to be here. Hello. Um I'm good. I I'm sorry, I'm still in shock about your hair. I love it. But I'm also Everyone loves my hair, yeah. We've not we've not actually mentioned it on the show so far, but Matty's had a little haircut. Quite a big haircut actually. Quite a significant haircut. Yes. I didn't go to my usual usual person, I went to Rosie. Who was fantastic. What a delight. Who's the usual person? Uh Jackson. Okay. Jackson so uh sorry, my bad. I really apologize. Well, crazy if we not know the the hair lore. But so Rosie thought we're doing something different. Yeah, I said just take a little bit off and she was like Ah. It's almost all going off. I feel like a skin head. No, but you've still got long hair, but it really suits you. Do you think so? Yeah, and also it stops you looking like every other man who works in production and t in television. I do agree with that. I'm sorry I agree. Yeah. It's true. Everybody's still got that sort of post Covid look of a Every show that Matthew works on, there's somebody who looks exactly like him on the show. Yeah. That's true. I've got to be a little bit. Every show he works on, there's eight people who look like Matt. I've been to those recordings and you go, I'm gonna pick a man's name and I'm just gonna call everybody in. And it usually works for the. He sometimes is a jack. Sometimes it's a jack, but Jack is unusual. You're right. You're right. Yes. But anyway, now I now I look very unique, very different. And uh it could be it could be a new me. I'm also gonna buy some trousers. So it's all happening in Crosby's world. Well you're buying trousers. Matthew wash washed some trousers and They somehow he put stink into them. So he had to get rid of them. No, is it your machine? It's it's the machine, yeah, yeah. The machine's got something in it. Yeah. Can I tell you, I don't think you'll be surprised to hear I'm a woman who watches people clean their washing machines online and then I actually do what they say because I love to learn how to get in there and clean it. And does it work? So well. It's it turns out washing machines don't have to just last four years if you actually get in there. But you have to you have to be willing to vinegar. It's part of it. Lemons. It's always. So it's all sort of natural ingredients then. You've got your vin vinegar and your lemon. um chemicals. Oh really? Yeah, I appreciate that that's not the modern move, but um I do want every also I just moved into a house where we bought the white goods off the previous owner. And so I was like, I need to um eviscerate you from this property. Um in a sort of um I I guess uh a very intense way. And do y so you actually enjoy cleaning washing machines? Enjoy feel strong. I certain feel compelled Yes. Do you want to come around my house? It's basically the next question. I'd come around my house to clear water. Compulsion and enjoyment are necessarily within the same Venn diagram. Well I guess both I feel a relief after I've done it. Certainly. I enjoy knowing it is clean. Yes, yes. And I love watching people do it. Yeah. Oh my god, I'm gonna send you some amazing videos and a particularly good gadget. I'll send you a link. Yes, please. You ask for another. I've just moved house. It's my the first place I've lived with a full size dishwasher. So that is a daily joy. It's got a walk in dishwasher. I've got a walk in dishwasher. I'm working with a half dishwasher at the moment. Yeah, I've I've I've been there. It's actually it's fine. There's only two of us. It discourages me from putting every single thing that I Ellen says that my partner says that when I when if she like looks away from her glass, I'll put it in the dishwasher so um she has to sort of keep it in her hand at all times. Yes, I will uh finish my dinner and try and clear my wife's plate away while she's still eating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's to eat that food, isn't it? We should talk about your tour, Catherine. Oh yes, let's 'cause you're doing a another stand up comedy tour called Borrowing Trouble. I sure am. Borrowing trouble is a phrase my dad uses an awful lot to describe um I guess my sort of anxiety and how I will borrow trouble from scen or scenarios that haven't yet happened but may well happen or could happen. But Certainly aren't happening so as to ruin my present with the fear of potential futures that fear stands for. Future events appearing real. Are we playing that now? Yeah. Are we playing A Brown. I don't think anymore, but yeah. But yeah, that's I I know exactly that. That kind of catastrophizing thing of going, hey, this isn't happening, but what if it was? Yeah. And let's worry about it now. It's exactly that. And it would be easier to take the advice to not borrow trouble from my father if he weren't such a Catholic. But it's like, my guy, come on. Yeah It's normally at night time for me. That's when that's when the borrowing trouble happens. Just before I fall asleep. Like Sunday Scaries but every night. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a little do you do all the things like write things down that you have to do in a notebook on your bedside so that you stop worrying about it? No, that's it. Cool, it doesn't work. Okay, it doesn't work. You just have um a loud list of you to go to sleep with. Yeah, I don't think I I sort of I I get the logic of of writing everything down. I used to be a sort of real listmaker, but then you're just like, Well now I know exactly what I've got to worry about. Now I've got all of these life worries that I've got to I'm sort of trying to solve right this second. Yeah. Doesn't help at all. Also, if anything, I as I turn the page to the second page of the list, I'm thinking, no, we can do this in a day. It's really Ed Gamble and Mother Matthew. Radio. Thanks. Sway on Radio XA Gambler Matty Crosby with you until 11 a.m. and we're still delighted to be joined by the fantastic Catherine Bohart, who's new. But if what if she said suede, difficult to clean. Swede. Oh my God. What a nightmare. Yeah. You can't rub a lemon on that. No. No, you shouldn't, you mustn't. You've got to use protector spray before you take it out. You've got to use the protector spray and If there's even A two percent chance of rain. I'm not wearing that jacket. No way. Which means you're never wearing that jacket because we live in the UK. Yeah, yeah. But gosh, isn't it nice to look at in the wardrobe. I've got a lovely suede jacket hung in the wardrobe. Yeah, but then how'd you get there? Well I tell what I do with my sw I've got a I've got a gorgeous suede jacket, but you know how like nanas will uh the sort of laminate all over all their furniture. I wear one of those over top. So I've got a completely clear pack a mac I'm wearing on the top of my suede jacket. You're fantastic. You're completely laminated day to day, aren't you? Apart from your nether regions. That's right. I I I I I need those, yeah. The crucial areas I need to get to they're not laminated. Yeah. Completely laminated with the joy on each shoulder. That's how I like to operate. Oh, did we hear a squeak? Matthew's here. You can hear me coming a mile off. So yes, we should we should do the promo as well. It's Katherynbohart.com if you want to get tickets. You're going to be at the Soho Theatre from the 21st of September to the 3rd of October. That's a long run at the Soho Theatre. Two weeks. Two weeks. It's nice to bed it in. I will also be before that at the fringe doing a whip, figuring it out. Uh but but yes, Soho Theatre would be delightful for the year. Can I and can I just say I've seen Catherine do whips before and they are fully ready shows. Yeah of course. You're a pre the whip the whip is a lie with Bo Hart. I like to be prepared. I like to be prepared and well practiced. And I like the the idea of showing up when people spend that much money and it not being ready. But it's a whip it's a whip. Well it's like I hear Shah went up to the fringe to do a whip and won the comedy award. I just oh I've got Total nerd total nerds. I panicked there and got caught on my own game. But you see that I was like, oh no. And that's what people want to see that sort of thing at the whip. They don't want to see a ready show. They'll never see it. I just I just think they're taking an hour of their lives and at the fringe. I mean they could be anywhere else. There's some people who appreciate seeing the process. I might be going to the fringe to do a whip. And they can go see the process. That's true. I've seen you lately. You've d got loads of No, that's very good. Well, it's fine, but you know, there there will be a lot of I don't have an hour, certainly, so there will be a lot of stumbling around in a room that's far too big for that. Lot of going into the crowd. You're really hoping for someone in a funny shirt, aren't you? Absolutely. Or with a weird job, fingers go for a weird job. Weird job funny shirt is the absolute that's the whole show. Big head, yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have such a big head though that it's hard for me to go there with people. Like if I if I'm opening Gambit, what a big head you have. They're usually like same. Yeah, but that's nice, that makes it better, I think. But it's not a tiny little head and said what a must have you had. You're right. It's actually peer to peer playing. That's lovely. Yeah. That is a big head. Absolutely. If you well if you've got a if you've got an absolutely massive head, go on to the Soho Theatre sit in the front row on the 21st of September through to the 3rd of October. You're also on uh on tour across the UK, October to November, Catherine Bohart. for ticket. And Ireland, I must clarify. Oh, UK and Ireland, yes, indeed. UK tour and Ireland tour. Thank you. Yes, CatherineBohart.com. We'd like to I think this is a question I think you'll be able to answer. Uh Catherine, what is something That shouldn't be embarrassing, but yet is. Now we we ask this of a lot of our guests. There are certain things that you think, not really embarrassing, but the more you do it, you think that it kind of is. The good a good example we were given is um people having their photograph taken in those photo booths. You know, you can see your the little legs under the curtain. Yeah. It's not embarrassing, but it is embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To have legs. No, that's yeah, just simply having legs. Having legs is an issue. And I think on a similar vein for me Falling over. Because everyone does do it. Yeah. Or choking. Like all things we like people do, if you have a human body and you're walking on paths or um like to eat food quickly, which I do. Um, then at some point both of those things will happen, but it's still somehow absolutely mortifying to fall over. And I I laugh. I never go, Are you okay? Yeah. I always funny. Yeah, it's so funny. I think I've lost my I as soon as I've turned forty, I've completely lost any feelings of embarrassment around that sort of stuff. Really? Don't care. It was on the tube the other day and something similar happened to Matthew the other week. Um where I r realised the train was being diverted, but I had my headphones on, loads people were getting off. And I was like, Well, why are they getting off? Took my headphones off. And then heard what it was, tried to make it through the doors. The doors were shutting. I was trying to claw the doors apart, wasn't working, someone else was on the other side trying to do it, my foot was trapped, I was like then trying to drag my foot out to stay on the tube. I the foot came out, my headphones fell off, uh, the little cup thing in the headphones spun across the floor, something had to pick out for me. Finally did that, put the headphones on, the tube started, I stumbled backwards. Not one s single second of embarrassment. Are you joking? I feel physic for you. Don't care. Wow. Couldn't care less and there was definitely someone on there who recognized me. What's my great story for that guy? Great story for you. Yeah. What an incredible capacity to just withstand life. No, I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night thinking about a time that I fell over when I was 16. Oh, but 16 is bad. 16 is right in the devastation. But it's not it's not it's not affected you apart from the. But you know, generally in your life um Matthew got his head stuck in the tube doors and his glasses popped. How about that? My glasses popped and the tube carrying to go back to the station. Picked up the glasses, put them on, uh, got back on the tube, realized the lens had popped out, go back to the tube station again. It was Yeah. But you know what? The whole time I was like, the other night in my kitchen, I was trying to cut a tomato, uh my knife wasn't sharp enough and I thought, I'm so embarrassed by that. No one else there. Okay, no, that is pretty embarrassing, especially for you. That's a brand new. I bought a new sharpener, don't worry. Good man. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio X. Lover. Still joined by the fantastic Catherine Bohart, who is on tour, borrowing trouble, UK and Irel tour, and a big run at the Soho Theatre, twenty first of September to third of October, Catherine Bohart.com for tickets and also work in progress at the Edinburgh Fring. Which will not be ready. It'll be crazy. It'll be all over the place. It'll be mad. I might even have one piece of paper up there. Catherine, we've got loads of questions here that we we always ask our guests. Matthew, which one do you want to go for? Do you want to give give Catherine one of the hot questions on radio? Well I think the answer I think I know what the answer is going to be to this. But have you ever eaten uh chup a chup? From the bugs. You know if you go into the the You know if you go into a toilet and it took me so long to translate two parts of that I was like lolly, yes, from the toilets. No. What? What do you mean? Is he just lying there? No, no, no not just lie not just lying there. No, more like if you go in and there is a person there who will uh help you with washing your hands or spray you with a little bit of help with her? No no no I don't need help with that. Matthew takes his mummy. Ha ha. It does sound like your mummy. Yeah. No, no. Have you been to a a club where there is a there's a person there who is fragrances. They've got a little dish where you're supposed to put it in a pound coin and they will often squirt the soap on your hands point. And they have they have chupa-chups with them. Right. And they then they say, would you like to you know if you put if you put your pound coin down, they also say go and take a chip. Have you taken a lolly? From the person in the toilets in a nightclub. Nope. They will often say something obscene. Yes. A little rude rhyme. Yeah. They'll often do a little rude rhyme to uh to suggest that if you're It's just a Menslow thing. I think it's that confirmation from the ladies as well. No, and the ladies they're always just Totting at how long everybody takes. Oh really? Yeah. Hurry it up, hurry up. I don't know. I think maybe they took one look at you and thought put the chip or chips away and don't say anything naughty. Maybe that's right. The prefect here. Hand sanitiser, Mom? Yeah. Because you're in there with the lemon and vinegar trying to clean the toilets. my God, I bet you those toilets are so gross. I'd love to clean them. Yeah. But in the in the daylight, you'd there's never gonna be daylight in there, but you'd want to. Yeah. Yeah. I think the I don't know, the idea of just getting down on my hands and knees. I mean I I've only got, you know, two pairs of trousers. I can't imagine I would get down my hands and knees in a toilet, just grab those toilets and not have to throw in my trousers. You could use your stanky pair though. That's true. Yeah, but then how am I gonna know when the toilets are clean? I'm like there's still an awful smell and it'll be coming from me. Listen, I just know aside from the horror of them having been in that bathroom and them coming from a person who I don't know from a place I don't know. Yeah um My thing with lollipops is I like it for two minutes maybe? Yeah, and they do last. Then you just like Anyone? Eventually No no no I don't make a lot of sort of furry. Who's sucking them until they're finished? Yeah. Eventually you get bored enough to crunch. Crunch. You've got to crunch. And I don't want to crunch. Also, I do just think there's something very eerie about adults and lollipops. Do you know? Unless you're Kojak, it's really it's not yeah. It's it screams oral fixation. It screams oral fixation. I once had an everlasting gobstopper. I was born an everlasting gobstopper. Yeah, I wouldn't. I had to chuck it away. Huh? I just couldn't I was I kept it in the fridge and every day I'd just after school I'd just like lick it until it had like one flat side. But I actually said it was no it was you weren't looking at all the way around. You were looking at it flat on the whole time. I was holding it in my hand like practicing forward. I didn't have a- Good morning. My wife's very lucky anyway. It's all flattened on one side. Anyway, Catherine Bohart is on tour. She'll be up at the Edinburgh Festival with a whip. And uh she'll be at the Soho Theatre from the 21st of September to the 3rd of October, then a UK and Irel tour from October to November. CatherineBohart.com for tickets. Catherine, it's been a delight to see you. Thanks, J. You're welcome round the flat any time to clean the uh washing machine. Yes. No thanks. Okay Don't ask, don't get. Radio Oh look at that weather. Got the first time. Hmm. Barbecue breakfast for me, I think. Tis the weather. Some sort of summer tunes to be blasting out. Across my new neighborhood, let people know what I'm about, that I'm a party boy ready for summer. Let's have a little something from this band. Hmm. Gigen. Summer summer summer day. It sounds like it was recorded inside a bin. Yeah. Is that a positive? Lovely. That's really that's really unpleasant stuff, and I think you're an absolute scourge on the neighborhood if you play that. Even if you I think even if you play that in headphones inside your house with the curtains drawn, you're a scourge on the neighbourhood. On mute. Yeah, even on mute. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Radio Pisa! This thrilling, uplifting reinvention of Oliver is what Classic FM called the greatest British musical ever. And is now wowing audiences at the Gilgart Theatre. Simon Lipkins Fagin is remarkable and very funny, says the Times. The FT said this 24 carat must see lights up London. Oliver, it's packed full of memorable tunes and great performances, says the Sunday Times. Cameron McIntosh and Matthew Bourne's sensational, rousing and irresistible Oliver is pure joy, said the Daily Telegraph. Think you've seen Oliver? Think again. I do anything to go again, said the Sunday Express. Consider yourself at home at the Gilgart Theatre this spring. Book now at oliverthemus.com Today, thanks to Santander, we've got our serious faces on. But we're on the radio. Oh, okay. Serious voices then. We know saving for your first place is tough right now. Which is why Santander first-time buyer mortgages have deposits starting from 10,000 pounds. Even on larger loans. Search, Santander mortgages. I felt weirdly grown up. You may lose your home if you don't keep up mortgage payments subject to status and lending policy. 500k max loan on houses with a 10k deposit. Minimum 5% deposit for flats, new builds and properties in Northern Ireland. Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Yes indeed, welcome back to the show. It's the final hour of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Radio Show on Radio X. Very exciting hour. We're going to be doing metal education. I've got my fingers crossed I'm going to do well this week. I've never done it well ever. No, no, no, no. But this week could be my week. You've got to keep trying at these things. Got to keep gotta keep knocking on the door, haven't you? We're also going to do what what it wasn't supposed to be a Matthew's big thing. Yeah. But uh we got a very good message in from a guy called Tom. And you take it so long to build it up. Because we we we teased it in the first hour. We didn't have time unless we had Catherine in the second hour. Uh, but now it's gonna be a Matthew's big thing. So do you want to do it's big thing? John, I don't know if you know. We do I say Matthew's big thing, we do a sort of cool like sound effect y thing for it to make it seem massive. On on Ed's voice between Ed's voice with a kind of So if you get ready to do that. Ready? Matthew's big thing. Okay. I like that one actually. Yeah, we'll see that one actually works better for us. I think we should all be talking like that all of the time. Yeah, absolutely. So that is coming up in just a little bit, but first it is of course Maximum Park with our Velocity here on Radio X. Radio X. Now it's time for Metal Education. Yes, this is the feature slash quiz where I give Matthew a list of uh things from a category. Yes. And you work out if they're real or fake or not. Not traditionally uh your uh highlight on the show. Well it depends what you mean by content wise it's a highlight, but not uh success wise for you. No no no I'm not very good at it. No, you're not very good at it. But I I have a a lovely time doing it. So here we go. John's been in contact. You hear it's a wonderful return for a metal education topic, Matthew. Uh hope you're well. Feels like it's time to bring back the increasingly sporadic feature, John Nettle's education. Oh, I like this. Yeah, I remember this. Part four, Matthew. It's uh eight Midsummer Murders titles with a quick synopsis. Great. Okay, are you ready? Yes. Here we go. Thank you John for this. Let's start with count your blessings. Okay. Eyebrows are raised when the reclusive Count Ted Amblethorpe extends a rare invitation to the local old people's home to visit his country estate in the hamlet of Little Viny. But when the elderly Matthias Mosby collapses upon seeing the count's genital themed greenhouse, questions are raised if foul play is a foot. Okay, is that real? Is that fake? Number one. Penis flych. Thank you. Slightly cryptic penis flies. Yeah, but we all we all saw where it was going in the end. Um Number two, boys will be boys. Boys will be boys. And that's wonderful song. Boy Buoys. Oh. Buoys will be bullies. Boys will be boys in floating in the water. Boys will be boys. Oh, and you'll see why. dies after bectricuted by her boat's remote control the day before the event. The chairman of the boating club, Jeff Hibbert, invites Barnaby to investigate, where he soon discovers the jealousies and rivalries that run deep within the club. Bullies will be bullies. Very believable. Buoze buttons. Death strikes three. On the night following his engagement party, Brad Furbank is murdered at Godly Manor, pecked to death by a booby-trapped cuckoo clock. His fiance Francesca Bruce informs DCI Barnaby that Brad was living at the village pub. made his living trading Bitcoin. Coin and Cuckoo Club. And a murderous cuckoo club. Old world and new world colliding in Midsummer. Could it be could it be true? Lawn of the dead. Wilfrid Warrell, groundsman and referee for the Midsummer Deverell Lawn Bowling Club, is found murdered the day after a friendly match turned into a full-blown argument when Wilfrid is accused of wrongly appointing the win to veteran bowls champion Archie Polit. Can you have that name again? Archie Pollock. Archie Pollock. Okay. Uh yeah, I I I think I think I've got an idea for that one. That's the first one so far I feel confident about. Okay. A clockwork porridge. Confusion sweeps the town of Upper Walden when local Athario David Crofts is found dead at the windmill of Westmead farm, having seemingly been drowned in oats during working hours. Barnaby and Troy must piece together the seemingly impossible timeline of events to solve the case. It's a very clever title if it is. A clockwork porridge. Sleeping with the fishes. When adulterous doctor and keen fisherman Dr. Tony Asbridge Ash Ashbridge, not Ashbridge. Wait, Ash it's Ashbridge, yeah. It's Ashbridge. Okay. I'm not referring to the perennial. Disappears in the lake of Midsummer Walden, rumors spread of a giant underwater monster being responsible, but a few days later the body turns up under the ice of a display counter at Midsummer Langley Fishhmongers. Mm. Wild Harvest When the body of Farmer Martin Strickland is found in Woodland, It transpires that he was covered in truffle oil and mauled to death by a wild boar. Strickland's wife Camilla said he had gone out gone out in the night because there had recently been a theft of truffles, valued at 10,000 pounds, and also claims he recently fell out with local celebrity chef Ruth Cameron. Is this the second strictness we've had? It feels like Martin Strickland died twice in this quiz. Send in the clowns. Terry Bellini, aka Groucher the Clown, is shot dead while performing, having earlier informed everyone that he had been offered another role at a rival circus. Things get worse when Curtis Farrabee, brother of the ringmaster Joe Ferraby, who wanted to get rid of the circus completely, is found murdered at his own abattoir, but the circus lives on. The fact that some of these are real has made me realise I've got to get back to watching this summer. Because you know, I watched a couple of episodes as a joke when we did the last Nettles education and I was completely hooked. Completely hooked. And wh wh why wouldn't you be with the. Thank you for sending those in, John. We'll have the answers just after Royal Blood. Maskew Crobley and Radio Ed. Radio I don't know. Yeah. That's right. A little bit earlier on I gave Matthew eight Midsummer Murders titles and synopses. As sent in by John. Uh and some of them are real, some of them are fake. Matthew is now going to tell me which he thinks are real, which he thinks are fake. It's a possible eight. Answers Matthew. Yes. Okay, here we go. Eight points. Here we go. Count your blessings. That was uh the elderly Matthias Mosby uh collapsing upon seeing a genital green uh genital themed greenhouse uh and uh foul play as a foot. Sadly, I believe that is fake. Number one fetus flytrap. Number one Penis flytra. Penis flytrap. That is fake, Matthew. Well done. Boys will be boys. This is the boating competition. Someone being electrocuted by the remote control and jealousies and rivalries that run deep within the boating club. I believe that to be Real. That is fake, so we're off to a bad start. Bad start there. Bad start. Death strikes three. This is Brad Furbank being pecked to death by a booby-trapped cuckoo clock. And he was living in the village pub trading Bitcoin. Coin is the bit I don't believe. I'm gonna say that's fake. But you you believe the packed to death by the Oh yeah yeah that's pure Midsummer. Yeah But I think Bitcoin's not real. Okay. Yeah it is real Matthew. Oh well there we go. Didn't do very well on that one, did I? No. No, completely wrong. So one one out of three so far. One out of three, and it's the one that's always fake, yeah. Lorn of the Dead. Uh this is the Bowls Club, the groundskeeper is found dead. I believe that to be real. That is real, Matthew, there we go. Okay, this is how we play. A clockwork porridge. This is of course David Crofts was found dead in Oats. I think that is fake. That is fake, Matthew, yes. Although if you do write for Mid Summer Murders and you're listening, you can just take that wholesale. Sleeping with the fishes. Uh this is uh a doctor disappearing uh in a lake and then turning up under the ice of the display counter. Of Midsummer Langley Fishmonkers. I think that's real. Oh it's fake. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Never mind, never mind. It was one or the other. So I don't feel too bad. Wild harvest. I was almost right in a way. If I'd said the other answer, I would have been right. Wild harvest is the body of a farmer uh being covered in truffle oil and mauled to death by a wild boar. I think that's fake. No, that's real. Oh no. I've gotta start watching this show. And finally, uh send in the clowns. This is the clown. Uh that's been killed uh because he he's talking about moving to a rival circus. That's real. That is real, Matthew. How many did you get? I think I got four. That's well you got three because we don't even count. I got three. That's real bad. That's really bad. I'm getting worse at this game. Yeah, yeah. How is that the case? Because I just my just my brain's dying a bit. Cognitive decline. Yeah, that's what it is, isn't it? It's a real shame. Radio X Boy and Soupy Ghost. The bug Wow. That's good. John, you can do all loads of sound effects, can't you, on the microphone? I did the voice without even realising it. Um we should we should do Matthew's big thing now because it's nearly the end of the show. We've still not done this email that you mentioned in the first Probably the first link, I think. I think it might've been the first link it's very good. Yeah. It's a very good email. Okay, you ready? I want to do the intro for you? Yeah, yeah. Matthew's big thing. So this is a lovely message we've had in from Tom about moving disasters. Yeah. That was good, by the way. The little chuckle as well. Tom writes, Hello lads. A few years ago my girlfriend and I moved. Don't mind if I do. Uh, but we bought our first flat together. Congratulations. On the day, congratulations to them. In the day we moved in, we arrived to find our sitting room wall dripping with some sort of wet, viscous gunk. like pale pink ectoplasm. Oh my god, ghostbusters. It's very ghostbusters. I desperately started uh trying mop it up with while my girlfriend ran upstairs to see whether it was coming from another flat. A few minutes later she came back looking shell-shocked. It turned out Our upstairs neighbor was giving birth. Oh my god. I told you it was worth waiting for. Didn't I tell you it was worth waiting for? Our upstairs neighbor was giving birth and that our flat was being slowly flooded with water and amniotic fluid leaking from her birthing pool. Love to. Oh my God. I tell you what, we couldn't have done that in the first hour. There was no show left. Tom, that was absolutely amazing. Yeah. And the day they moved in as well. The day they moved in, pouring down the walls. Oh my god, woomslop. Woomslop. Playing them next week from the local. Can't wait to hear them. But yeah, thank you, Tom. If you would like to send an email in to us, sunday at radiox.co.uk. But the bar is very, very high. The bar is very, very high. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. Broom broom and honk honk. Edgamble and Matthew Crosby saying goodbye for another week. Yes, indeed. Goodbye, everybody. It's been an absolute delight to broadcast for you. Huge thanks to Catherine Bohart. Yes, thank you for coming in, Catherine. Really, I mean she's gone now, but uh, bye, rude. So rude. I'm so sorry. I would have assumed she'd just sit there in silence for the last hour of the show. Unbelievable. These modern comedians. You know, if you if you'd booked a Jimmy Tarbuck, he would have sat there like a good boy. And he would have been here before we arrived. He would have been here for he would have been broadcasting for us. Um yeah, but if you do get a chance to go and see Catherine, uh then you should absolutely take it. One of the best. One of the best. Uh thank you very much to producer John. Thank you very much, John. John's here with us next week as well, of course. Of course, covering for Vin while he goes off and does his crazy world tour. Cheeky little dark tourism. Cheeky little dark tour. Uh but yes, but also most of all. Thanks, the listener. We'll be back next week, 8 a.m. on a Sunday, or you can get the podcast free for more stuff. See you very soon. Stick around for Big DW, babe. Suits from a motion shepherds bush.