Final Scores and Episode Wrap-up

Hello listeners, welcome to Ellis and John, and because of the unique way we record this podcast, I'm having to predict the future. We are recording this a few days before the London Marathon, though it will have happened by the time you hear this. It is an event that has dominated the thoughts of Dave and John, has seen them both raise an astonishing 71,000 pounds for standing together against domestic abuse and prevent breast cancer, and in the opinion of some The end of the marathon will conclude a period of constant running chap that has proven to be an all time low in the history of this show. Our Rajar figures are down the show's no longer funny, but our agent has assured us that Dave and John's incredible efforts in turning a program that used to be two stand up comics chatting into the greatest public health initiative since the past. polio vaccine Will not go unnoticed when we renegotiate our contract with the BBC. When we first began our tenure on Five Live in May 2019, people said the frustration that has a largely news and sporty myth We were too different. Too challenging. Too dangerous. Over the last six months, there has been so much running chat, Steve Cram sent a letter to the head of the station asking us to chill out for his own mental health. But let's look at that figure again. At time of recording, It's over 71,000 pounds raised for charity. John used to claim that he couldn't run because his bones were so dense that it made his body too heavy. So let the man talk about his aerobic base. Let Dave talk about his calf. Let them enjoy the enormous achievement. that is running a marathon. As far as I can tell, there are three possible scenarios for Sunday, April the 26th. Scenario number one. Dave runs a three hour one second timer. Oh no. Missing his target by a footstep. John is somehow overtaken by Ivo Graham who was pushing Rosie Jones. Even though they haven't entered, I was wearing work shoes in the David Burn baggy suit, and they did the Manchester Malethon last week. In response to this, both John and Dave explode. So many people complain about the mess because it makes the Linda Marathon. Uh is cancelled forever, and by order of royal decree, I am prevented from ever podcasting again, and I retrain as a tree surgeon. Audio number two. John finishes in a time he's really pleased with. And as he's running over Tower Bridge, he realizes that incredibly, amazingly, somehow, running the marathon has solved all of his problems. He then realizes that being able slotted spoon or dehumidify without hours of introspection has robbed him of his comedic gifts, meaning he's now technically unemployable as a stand-up and he explodes again. Despite the nickel in his cuff, Dave runs a 259 marathon and crosses the line hand in hand with his arched nemesis, George Lewis. That'd be nice. Ha ha ha. Yeah. George's wife and Hannah say it's hot, hot, hot. Scenario number three. I've never met anyone who has prepared as diligently for anything, which means the unimaginable happens. John wins. Two of the race favourites, Sebastian Sarme and Jacob Kiplemo, ask John to leave broadcasting and take up coaching, and Offrey glantly accepts. Something that makes me technically unemploy employable and so I explode. Dave is ankle tapped by George Lewis at the finish line, Bricks is wrist and registers as it did not finish. George then goes into hiding at a resort in Colorado that is sponsored by New Balance. And that's it. I cannot see how it will go in any other way. We really value the opinion of our listeners on this show. We conducted a listening exercise. A proportion of you want the running chat to end. And now, after a mere eight and a half months, we've listened. Apart from today. We're gonna go quite big on it this today in probably next week as well. Few bits and bobs, few bits of. But how are you both feeling? Obviously you've done it by now. So in the first two scenarios you don't explode. I don't know. I'm not sure. In the second scenario, Dave doesn't explode. I don't explode in the third scenario. No, you just move to Ethiopia to become a running coach. There's a 66.6 recurring chance I explode. Yeah. It's dangerous, isn't it? It does feel dangerous. And you're nervous enough already. Yes. Um well because we um we talked about quite a lot about pre-marathon stuff last week. We're not gonna go into too much detail today, but as we said, we haven't run it yet. No. So what I'm gonna do is gonna ask myself some questions that we will record after the marathon for me to answer. Oh I've got the the three questions I want to ask myself for my three possible scenarios. Okay. Okay. Um John, a new world record, how does it feel? Feels good, it's a new global Guinness book of world records for a John Robbins marathon. And you've got to be happy with that. In the region of four hours 40 something, Guinness are just calibrating various photo finishes and timing sponsored by Rolex. So I'm pleased. I did actually meet the team from Guinness and they've given me verbal confirmation of a new John Robbins Marathon world record. John, no world record, but you have to be happy with the win. Yeah, I saw two guys going for sub two hours and I thought, you know what, it's time for the next generation to come through. So I beat them. but let them have the world record by coming behind them, but I'd started earlier. And that's how I'm gonna navigate that question, because obviously reports are unconfirmed. Still things have to be ratified by the IAAS. But yeah, I won. I didn't get the world record, but two runners did get the world record, but that wasn't me, but I did still win. John, you are a failure. You are a disgrace and you've let yourself down. What would you like to say to the nation? I have erred. I shot for the moon and hit a Tesco Express. I flew too close to the sun for about one kilometer and I thought it's very hot. I'm going to get away from the sun and I'm going to towards the end use a run-walk technique that I then evolved on the fly into a walk-walk technique. And already talk in the international running scene is about the future of the walk-walk technique for Breaking barriers. hands across the ocean, international diplomacy, and um AI. So those are the three questions that we've got. It's quite luck or white, isn't it? So you're gonna are you gonna answer all three of those? 'Cause how do you answer the first one if you've not I won't answer the the if I win But I don't get a world record. Yeah. I won't answer the first or the last. Oh just one more. Oh I should ask some more questions. Yeah. Shouldn't I? Yeah. John chafing. Did you remember to lube? Because you always forget one thing before a long run. Did you forget one thing today? Usually it's the bot. Ha I did remember to lube, I lubed twice, once whilst I was being approached by a media representative from the BBC to tell me that Gabby Logan wanted to interview me. My hands were down my pants with a body glide stick, make uh applying a second coat to the twig, the berries, the inner thigh, the outer buttock. And there's no easy way of saying this, the anus. You've bought me some ass magic. I can't wait to use that. Yeah? Yeah um John, did you did anyone fall in love with you? Did anyone fall in love with me? Hmm. Is the nation anyone? Is Britain anyone? Um I don't think anyone falled in love with me. I thought there were lots of proposals happening until I realised it was just people stretching out their hamstrings. But I didn't see any proposals, but I haven't yet checked my DMs or my texts. Oh, I think that'll happen. Do you reckon? I went to watch the Swansburg QPR last night. And everyone fell in love with me. No, but somebody someone came up to me at Shepherds Bush train station and said, Where can I watch John on Sunday? And I said, Don't worry, there'll be a Z. Uh, yeah, obviously you'll be on the BC. I'll be live on the BBC. They got one camera on the Elite Group, then one camera on me. You are on the BBC, aren't you? I watched it Last year and they stopped Mark Chapman during the run. Well this is the thing. I might get all seized up and I'm not going to be able to like absolutely. You know, he was I can't remember where he was, but he but he's just he they just they went cheap. You sort of have to to gets your c charity some much needed coverage, I think. But I would be cursing the interviewer. Also the camera camera people have got so many long leads and cables. It would be impractical for the c for the camera person to be running along. running backwards with all those thousands of people so that it does not deal with affect your time. Ellis have you got any questions to ask me in the future or Dave in the future? Have you enjoyed it? That's a good question at the end. Yeah, did did John John. John John did John enjoy it. We need to come up with something better than that. John, did you enjoy it? Well, at the finish line, you're gonna hate every you're gonna hate what's just happened in a way. Because it's Because it's it's full on. It's full on. Where I saw Roman Swan Ganathan the other day and he said that the second half is a kind of fatigue that he's never experienced before. Good stuff. It's good stuff. Anyway, we shouldn't let it That's good set of questions. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many of those questions were world record or sort of, you know, Olympic record orientated. I think they're really, really sensible. For in his own words, a man who picks up injury is like an old man falling down a hill. Uh, so Ellis, what you been up to? Uh, I went to watch the Swan's play QPR that Walls. Actually quite good fun, but I mean the standard was very low in the first half. I went to fly a kite. I did a stand up at a PTA event because I like to give things back. Yeah. Um and I don't know how this is uh gone yet, but I tried to comedy connect with the direct an insurance company at a big corporate event. So it's been quite an up and down week. But that's not happened yet. That hasn't happened yet. So still very nervous about it, which is why I've got my suit and eighteen different clothing options in a suitcase. Fine, surely. You know how to come reconnect. I do know how to come reconnect, but I'm worried that yeah, there's gonna be an awful lot of pressure on me. It's a big old doo, Dave is it. And if I don't get it wrong, I look like a I look I just look like someone who tells lies. What if I just stand up and say, Hello? I bet you I know someone you know and they go, All right then. But then you give me a minute and then I say, you know, what's the age of school? And then it just But they'll be shouting it out. I'd like to think so. Yeah. I'd like to think so. I don't know. But what have you been up to, Dave? Uh the twins turned six on Saturday and we had a party for thirty-two children. Oh my god. In your house. That's like a classroom under Thatcher. Probably now. Oh, they're massive. Classes classes are massive again. We did that for my daughter's fifth birthday when everyone got an invite. Yeah. And the last ten minutes I felt. Like I it was like it was a biblical test. Well there was what I've And you've got to be out the community centre by five. Oh, be a bridge club or something happening. Yeah we were in. Yeah, yeah. You're sweeping up and there's the kids are crying and yeah. It's quite nostalgic. I've not been in that hole since I was about six because Beavers was there. Oh yeah. And I w smell the same. It's mad how smell can just take you back 34 years. But it's also mad how a room can smell the same for 30 years. Cleaning products have changed in that time. It's weird, isn't it? It's been redecorated. I don't know what it is for chapels. But chapels tend not to get like refurbed every ten years. No, no, that's true. I'm just trying to And funky pump doesn't happen in a chapel, does it? How would I approach Zumba? How would I approach a party for thirty-two kids? It's like hired space. Hide space. It's just pizza, isn't it? Like delivery of the side. No, no, no. Sublime science. What's that mean? It's like kids' science lesson. It's a really good idea, actually. Because I was worried, because usually it's Disco Dave or Magic Mike and they're wacky and then all you. And you you're good at Disco Dave, but Magic Mike is a stretch. 'Cause he's also a stripper. And you Parents take me to one side and say not. Could we have had Disco Dave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did ask for Disco Dave. So you try and sort of do that trick where it makes you look like your thumb's sort of come in half. I don't know. I went to a party and there was it was an all an all-round entertainer who did a bit of magic and he did a disc score. And he did some party games and he was having the time of his life. Yeah. Shut into him as he got And dress next to a TN. How do you do it, mate? It's a it's it's admirable. It is admirable. Because kids at that age. I should have paid him twenty four. You should have. So we have Sublime Science, um, which was fantastic, and they learn how to make slime. So we sent slime is huge. It's huge. And actually I I hate it when my kids come back with slime to a party. And then we did the exact same thing. And I felt bad. And I said, Hannah, we've just we've ruined parents. You've added to the slime economy. But we thought if you're the stick around, right? So we've big lash. We've got shed loads of Coke. He'd like spent five hundred quid. No, it's one in the afternoon. Um you've got to stipulate though that it's it that it's not a uh sort of a drug. Just for the record, after last month. disaster. This isn't a drugs party this time. Yeah, yeah. That it's not a that it's not a drop and drop and go. Well we it kind we kind of had suggested that it would be if you want to drop your kids, that's fine. But on the morning Hannah was like Meg from Sublime Science is gonna be letting off rockets in the car park. That's quite cool. Very cool. It was like pressure bottles that flew in the air when really high. It does indicate cool. Exactly. So Meg was out killed a seagull. So we thought we're gonna have to Take kids by the hand or basically Corral herd thirty two kids into a car park and then back into the the hut afterwards. So we put a poll on the WhatsApp group to go, just we know, you know, we know there's a problem that we gave an option earlier in the week, so just wondering who's staying and who's going. Thirty no thirty no's on the pole came back. So it suddenly became apparent that the plants of course and we would have done the same, but then it suddenly became apparent there was kind of five parents to try and Corral thirty two kids and stick around. Because I'm worried that it's it's gonna turn into a clash of head zones. Yeah, and then you know the other day you were talking about going on school trips as like a volunteer. parent helper. And it was like four kids to every adult. I've not done that. Ellis is big in that scene. Love it. Well Ellis seems to operate solely either in schools or with people who are at school at the minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm guessing like if you're a scout troop. There are laws about the amount of kids per scout leader and your qualifications, all that stuff. If you're just organizing a party, can you just like be one person for a hundred kids? Two words, international waters. It kind of it is. Yeah, it is. So you've got to make a call. Killer Meg, that was the name. Molecular mag was great, by the way. Um but no we thought W there's there's five there's five or six parents here. That's just about enough to you take five kids. You do not set you you lose sight of the five. Five you can cope with. Five is all right, you keep 'em close, and then they watch the rocket go into the sky, mentos everywhere, everyone everyone's having a great time. get your kids back into the blumming hut. Yeah. And we did it and we managed it. We didn't lose any kids. But it's good. It's it's a fun I think once you get into the zone of the fact that this is hard now for the next two hours. It's quite fun. Yeah. I got locked in the balloon. I got locked in the store cover because I got tasked with blowing up 30 massive balloons. Oh yeah. The balloons kept popping around me. So I'm there blowing up like a big punch balloon. There was clearly some glass on the floor. What's a punch balloon? Like a slightly bigger one that's thicker, so it makes a louder bang when it pops, let me tell you that. And you've got a little string on it and it goes doo. I I love that kind of job though, because you just let me go on with it. And I go into the stock cup and I blow up the balloons. It's like you seen. It's quite traumatic. If you just let me sweep, I will do that. Yeah. Isn't it mad? I will never experience any of that. If you're not You're not missing out. No, I don't feel like I am. This is it's a rite of passage for kind of parents that You've got friends with kids who could just turn up. Yeah. Nice little surprise. Stand up sex. Yeah. Give back. Like Alice is gonna be. Did you ever do common? Molecular Meg and Melancholy Job. She's gonna put mentos into diet coke instead of role it, so he's gonna read your T. S Elliot and cry. John's gonna talk about grave issues. Yeah. Ha John's grave lecture. And you could do it in the community centre with a lecturer. I could do meditation classes. They would love everyone to be like a member of the city. We do kids' meditation 'cause my 'cause my daughter fell down to sleep. Yeah, so deep breathing. We would just all sleep, because kids love sleeping, don't they? Not at a party. Don't they? No. Not at one PM on a Saturday afternoon when they are off there. Well, that's where Melancholy John comes in because there's no sweets at his party. No. There's just crackers, plain crackers and celery. Cla clack crackers and celery. And if you're lucky One of those awful sugar free sweets you get in health shops. Oh yeah yeah. Oh god, my kid's seven though. My youngest son is uh child is seven, so Already on the way out. They're already getting a bit easier, these parties. Well they get smaller. Yeah, because it just becomes your core group. Because your whole life is basically shedding friends. Until it's just you and Death. Yeah, Collie John popping up. Yeah. I say, hello everyone, welcome along. Last year there were 32 people here. Now there's 2, you're shedding! Yeah, so 20 minus Uh well 32 minus 12 is 2. You've lost 12 friends. Next year it will be eight. Big eight. But there'll be strange playground politics, which means that you won't like two of them. How does that make you feel? By the time you're in your fifties, at this rate, you'll be down to just two. You'll only have one friend, your Apple Watch. I don't shout like Ellis does. No, yours is Yours is different. Angry at major. Yeah. You're angry at life. John isn't actually angry at life. Not angry. It's about acceptance. It's about acceptance. Yeah, he doesn't raise his voice during his lecture for six year olds. No. I'm shouting. What are they drinking? Is it a big squash scene? Big squ uh f fruit shoot scene. Oh, of course. Fruit shoes everywhere. Uh sandwiches. There was a lot of I a lot of hobnobs. 'Ha mums for the parents. But not many of them didn't sort of. Weird or something I find really weird, because I don't think my parents did this. When I was growing. There's no booze at kids' parties for the other parents. I do not remember that when I was No. There weren't any hours actually on because the alcohol industry is somehow, and I can't quite work this out. placed themselves as the sort of c number one parental coping mechanism. Matt. Yeah, yeah. Um But you often turn up at a kid there'd be but like loads of peeroni. Yeah, I was why? Yeah. It's really but I don't when I w I remember kids my own birthday parties There's one booze in. That's very when did that come in? I think it's it's been in for a while. No, they think it's Posecco o'clock and Shin o'clock and all that. You know, don't talk to me unless I've had of gin. Yeah. Those things you see in K Max. Later. Yeah. Wow. It's 10 a.m. somewhere. Alice is going to attempt to come reconnect with the managing director of an insurance company this weekend. So in order to prepare for that, we're gonna uh get him on the training pitch. Uh in our weekly race against the clock. Can Ellis find a connection with a fellow Welsh Welsh person in just 60 seconds? It's the Cymrie connection. It's another connection, and it sees his tactics a sheer perfection, but his questions have one direction Where did you go to school? Dave, do you know last week one of my wins was that I fashioned a coffee bag out of a N espresso pod and a tea bag. Yeah. Because the espresso machine in my hotel was broken. Yes. I've just been sent a video by the hotel company of the handyman making it work. I feel humiliated. Yeah. Was it just a power? It wasn't just a power button. It can't have been. What did he do though? Have you seen the video? Well the annoying thing is, is the video is just of him making an espresso. It's not of him plugging it in and turning it. It might be a new machine. They might be messing with your mind. Exactly. And I think this is a fit up. Why are they sending you a video of that? It's not rubbing it in. I sent them a message saying the Nespresso machine is broken. Have you got any spares? Right. they've just sent me this this harrowing account of An espresso, but it's already on when he press the button. Definitely say machine that you were using. In case this happened. But that's so like it looks nice as well, actually. But it wouldn't turn on, and I'm not an idiot. No the John now video in it on his phone at first. Hang on. That is a different one! It's a different part! It's a different thing! What are they doing? Son of a ghost! John, this is horrendous! Oh my god! But you're so fragile! What if his enzyme? This is a Do you think I was born yesterday? This is the last broadcast. I don't like that at all. Do you want to name and shame the brand? No. No, we can't because they have add him off an absolute treat here. They have is Unreal. Well hold on, well what are they saying? Because maybe that maybe the video is them saying, Mr. Robbins, just you know, we've replaced the machine, look at how grace you're gonna be able to send a message. Following your message, our maintenance team has checked the coffee machine and can confirm that everything is working properly. We're sending you a short video showing how to use it correctly next time. You weren't Video Robins that's a different plug to the one that didn't work. Mine had an adapter for a two-prong plug. Those cheeky little sneaks made me feel humiliated live on five lights. I'm gonna ask you a question that you may Like Was the plug you were putting in to the socket definitely attached to the Nespresso machine? Yes. You check that. Yes. Yes. Now have you replied Yes. That's two you need to think before you email is a motto of mine. Do you know what I find always works? Because are you sure it's different? Yeah. Are you sure? Do you know what I find always works when it comes to customer relations and emailing corporate people you probably know. No swearing. You've replied it's a different machine. They've said it's a different machine. No, they Which is a completely different machine. She's unbelievable. This is a s is this a scandalous point. He doesn't need this. Three days before the marathon that happened two days ago. 'Way we'd record this podcast. Slow your type. Now calm down, John. That's a completely different machine. It's okay, I don't mind. That's an absolute load of rubbish. Of course you mind. They're making you look small, John. They're making you look small and pathetic. You are, and you're thick. You're a flea to that. Why am I a flea and thick and insignificant? That's what they're saying. That's what they're saying. They're laughing in the office. They're like, he's a flea. Well no, because they're sending me videos of machines that work that aren't the machine I couldn't get to work. With laughter. Don't respond again. What have you just put back? What did you write back? No, I've said. I just said that's a completely different machine. It's okay. I don't mind. It was just to let you know. Yeah, fine. And also my original message wasn't how dare you put the Nespresso machine. It was just like the Nespresso machine doesn't work in this room. Do you have any spares? Why have you got the WhatsApp number of your of your hotel? I don't know. They have my number. Oh, okay that's good. I don't remember giving Oh God. I'm gonna get home and there's gonna be a thousand espresso machines in my house. Yeah all on at the same time. None of which work. I'm gonna drown drown in lukewarm watery coffee. Oh And then Wow, what a journey. Real time. Yeah, Roger Cup still alive. Sorry, uh yet again our Cumry Connect here's heard a very strange slice of life. Oh yeah, sorry. We had started a feature. Ellis' successful connection with caller Alex via Ruth Jones last week brought his connection rate up to 48.19%. Hello. He's made a connection with 40 out of 83 callers. Three more in a row and he'll be at 43 out of 86. Can he get to the holy grail of 50%? We have a caller on the line from Wales. What is your name, caller? Uh Eric. Hello, El Eric. Which is what would happen if you and Alice Spliced your names. You'd be called Alaric. That's not gonna happen. Alice, you have sixty seconds to find a mutual connection with Eric. Your time starts now. At twenty eight, uh I went to school in England, Alice, in Yorkshire. Okay. Wh where do you live now? I live in Swann's eight. Right, what do you do for living? I'm a librarian. Oh, which library? Uh Brynhefrit light late. Oh my god, Prinfried. The traffic lights. Um do you know anyone who works at the um at the Glen Vivian Art Gallery or the library opposite next to that? The institute No I go okay okay okay okay Okay Uh you were you're a librarian. Do you do full of football? I do. Okay, which team do you spot? Uh. Um all right, do you know Sophie, the media manager that spawns? I I don't know. Okay, do you know Rebecca who works in Oh, what does she do? Rebecca Gig. She works in the swans. And Michaelim is the Kitman. I don't know. Okay to know Leon Britton or Lee Trundle. No. Okay. He said he followed the swans, not that he worked for the swans. Well, but it's a small club and everyone gets to know each other. I was born in a hull. Do you know John Prescott? I I don't know. Maybe it was mean for a Chinese in John Prescott's favorite Chinese, which turns into a in turns into a Disco at midnight. I I have not no. I I I'm aware of the place, but I I have not no twenty eight pen. Do you know anyone who works at Swansea Union Union Union Un University? I I I do, I went to Swansa Uni, yeah. What did you study? I studied English and Spanish. You don't know Grafield Lopez by any chance, do you? Uh I I don't know. I know of him, but I don't know it now. Oh it feels close, doesn't it? There's there's gonna be something. Is there a connection, Eric? Yeah, I I do I do know a couple of people uh who work at Hong to UV. I know I know Ellis knows Martin Johns very well. Yes, I'm friends with Marty Johns. Do you know Marty Johns? I do, yeah. Okay, okay. I would have got there eventually. Would you? Is that would that have been a connection you would have gone for? Because Martin's influence knows no bounds. But we didn't go if you went to university, where did you go, Ali? For like the first time. Yeah. Yes. Everyone was expecting that. Everyone was expecting that. All of the pre-match talk was about if you went to university, where did you go? Uh w who else do you know at Swansa University? Uh oh well I I know a couple of the other lecturers. I know uh Kirsty Bahata, I don't know if you know her as well, Elise. I'm not sure if there's any other connections involving the Swarms. I don't know if you know anybody in the foundation at least. N I know a couple of people Ellis only likes to put things back into into state schools. He's he's not interested in any other foundations. Uh I know a couple of people that at the Disabled Supporters Trust. I I might know I might know a few of them potentially, but I say I'm not sure. I say I I know people who work. You're a librarian. Yes. Have you ever been to the Brynmore Well, you must have been to the Brymore Jones Library. Uh I I haven't no You're born in Holland, you're a librarian. You've never been to one of the most brilliant famous libraries in the country. I uh no I have not. My my kind of library knowledge extends as far as kind of hitting the swallow the area. Okay. Okay. Mm. That's What's your name, Sonny? Eric Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric. They were there. The connections were there. I felt Felt like that was in within touching. Yeah. It didn't feel like a bad performance. You got around the houses with it, you just didn't quite get to the right house. Did you ever go to Gigs at the Bunkers? Uh no, I I I haven't. No, but uh I probably know people that have. Yeah. Eric, I would like to take you to Funky and Benny's. Because you hate him and want to experience the worst the worst Italian food available in the country. Oh we can sit down and thrash this out. I mean and we got a over a Lasagna and a chicken burger somehow. And a glass of wine. So what I want to do with you, Eric, is have a chicken burger and a lasagna and a milkshake and a glass of wine at Franking Benny's. And we finally thresh this out. And I have a review of the songs is seen there. Yeah, it's a good thing 'cause there's more. to this than Martin Johns, I think. And only a sixteen pound bottle of Echo Falls is gonna do the job. Well, thank you, Eric, for your call. Lovely to chat to you. And Hull is a wonderful part of the country. Well she's born in hell. Well she is born in hell, yeah. She uh makes reference to every time she performs at the truck theatre. As she would. Thank you, Eric. Cheers, Eric. Thank you. Nice to speak to you. Have a good day. I've had another m I've had another message. They've not sent you another coffee machine video, have they? They wouldn't dare. That's just trolling at that stage. Have they re Have they tried to reason with you? Thanks for letting us know. It must have been the first machine in that case, as we received reports from two apartments. and one of the videos was from your unit. feels like a very confused. Fishy. That feels like someone's improvising. But they're now saying it's the first of the two. But you need to now s make clear it's also not the first of the two. Yeah, it's well but Also, they're saying it's interesting that they've received reports about two Nespresso machines on the day they're sending videos of two Nespresso machines working. Interesting. It's an absolute it's an absolute scam. Not the first machine. That's a different plug, as I said. Anyway, I'm just going to give that. My favorite emoji, which is the two hands in prayer or a high five, depending on your religious observances. Oh yeah. And uh I'm just gonna And that's fine. I'm not gonna 'cause everyone's afraid of getting a bad review. I don't review anything. No I cannot be bothered So you review yourself. Review myself on a second by second basis. I never review stuff on Oh, I did give that hotel that had Human remains on the furnishings. Human expression. Human expression on the furnishings. I gave them a painting on the want of a better word. Because there was human expression on the chair twice. Yeah. No. Um will live with me forever. Did that picture it didn't make it into the Holy Volley build, did it? No, that would be. I think grab a copy, grab the hardback. got hard box on the shelves. But I certainly got it on my laptop. But not in that way. Um Dave, who did you leave a bad review for? Oh, so it was, but basically they sent the wrong bracket for a for a shelf I wanted to put up. Okay. They then stopped reply to me when I asked for the new bracket. Unacceptable. So then I put the bad review on. Guess who gets back to me in twelve hours? That's funny. And they are obviously they're devastated because they don't want a bad review. Bad review is terrible. I said, Well, you've not replied to four of my emails. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know, I think it's anyway, uh they then say we'll send you new bracket and I then agree to take it off 'cause I don't want to be an idiot. Yeah. So many pictures of pints. The Holy Bible was a book that Ellison John released in what, twenty seventeen? Twenty eighteen. Twenty eighteen. Yeah. Good book. No, there are no pictures of very cheap hotel. Oh there we are winning an award. That's nice with human expression on it. Yeah, then that's probably for the best. Ellis, quick cue. What's better than listening to or watching the Ellis James and John Robbins podcast? Oh, doing a lovely one bubble buff. Yeah. Better. Is it better than Ellison John? I don't think that's better, because you might get condensation on the laptop screen. You might drop your phone. Yes, good point. And because phones are now waterproof, you will end up with a video of your bits underwater. Yes. Which you might accidentally send to your neighborhood WhatsApp. And and get arrested. Yeah, yeah. And then send it to them again for for good measure. Yeah. That's a nightmare. No, it's well, I'll tell you what's better than listening or watching to the Alice and John podcast. It's experiencing it live. And this summer we're taking the podcast to the world's Podcasting party crossed wires. Yes, that's right. On Saturday, the 4th of July, we'll be taking to the stage once again. great city of Sheffield. What a city Ellis three facts about Sheffield, please. Uh knives and forks, Arctic monkeys and pulp. Okay. Oh good, yeah, cool. Yeah. Yeah. We won't be alone. The oldest football club in the world is Sheffield F C. It is. Are they still going? Yeah. Not Sheffield, United Sheffield Wednesday, there's a there's a separate Sheffield FC. And what league are they in? Well that's not fair. They should be bumped to the top for being so old. Yeah. They should. Um we did crossed wise a couple of years ago. We did. It was an absolute delight. It was so much fun. And then this is probably gonna be The only live show of the year for Ellis and John. Yes. Pretty sure. School I don't attend, I'm not interested. We won't be alone across the weekend. Yip, yep, yep, yibbi yabba, yibbi. I'm so excited of just yibba yabbering. You'll be able to see Greg James and Alice Levine, the Screen Rot podcast. Nice. Uncanny British Scandal and loads more. But Crossedwise isn't just a bunch of live shows. It's a festival. It's not a scam either. They're not sending you videos of coffee machine. Do they? It's not a front. No. It's not It's not a money laundering extra a Ponzi scheme. It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's not Bitcoin. Think of it as Edinburgh Fringe for crypto. Sorry, I mean podcasts. Yeah. And it's just $119.99 a month to subscribe. Yeah. And you'll get their seven point plan on how to become a millionaire by next week without doing anything. Yeah. Get a free ebook. Sorry about this, D just it's just loads of passive income forever. Forever. And nothing can go wrong. So many ebooks. Oh yeah. None of that's true. Back to the it's like Glass simply without the company. There are two entirely free BBC sound stages. Signings. bars and after parties, including one from our very own producer, Dave, who will be selling crypto at all my friends, uh the after hour live show. All my friends is the after party on Saturday night. Is it the official one though? It is the official after party. Yeah, I don't go to the official after parties. I go to the unofficial after parties. So I'll be like, where's everyone going? And they'll say like oh I'm going to all my friends. I'll be like, Okay, sure, yeah. I'm just going to like that underground. Uh E D M L E M D music Bar. E D. E DM Music Bar the chairman of Chef. Electric music. Hold on. Sure, that the the chairman of Sheffield FC is John McClure from Reverend and the Middle East. Yes, I did know that he it was it's a newly that's only been the case for a couple of months. He did a very good video. I love John McCoy. two entirely free BBC sound stages, signings, outdoor Oh, we've already said that. Strong message here. Strong message here. To get tickets and to find out more, head to crossedwires.live. That's crossedwires.live for tickets. discounted tickets for all my friends if you buy tickets for Alice and John. So it's a bit of a double. Actually the alternative unofficial party there's actually an increased price. Yeah the EMD. They're 10% more expensive because it's so cool. Looking at a picture of the Sheffield LFC squad from 1876. Men were so small in for And they all look a lot a lot older, didn't they? Oh they're all so small. Anyway. Fun bunch. Uh do come to crossed wires on the fourth of July. It's gonna be a great woman laugh. It's gonna be great laugh. How long are we on for? Six hours. Yeah, it's a it's a Guinness World record. Brilliant. Yeah. No, I think it's about I think it's usually about ninety minutes, isn't it? It's a supersized pot uh offering of what we do on this podcast, isn't it? It's this show on tee. Testosterone. Oh, testosterone, I think. Looking forward to it. See you in Chef! And now it's time for a made up game. Why not just say we're really sorry the Nespresso Machine didn't work? Yeah. I'm not gonna take you to court. It's just like for a refund. They were passing. It's quite refreshing when politicians apologize. You just want them to say, Do you know what sorry we had to The fuse has gone in the plug. We've changed it now. Yeah. Uh Alice, I'm a politician. accuse me of something. Uh You have embezzled money from a charity. Pretty bad. That is bad and I am gonna have to resign because I did it and I'm sorry. Yeah. Um you spend that money on a speed boat. I can't even use or drive a speed boat and I don't like the idea of them. But I thought, What the hell? Yeah. And it was a huge error and I am resigning and I'm sorry. Yes. And I'm gonna pay back every Thank you and it doesn't reflect on the party for which you work, does it? For which you represent. The speedboat party. Yeah, it's quite a big manifesto pledge of ours, actually. Have you not seen us doing our rallies on the Thames? It's great fun. No. Yeah, you'd have to go if you'd done that. You've got to go. You got to. You gotta go. But no but a bit of honesty doesn't go amiss. Because if you heard him say that You think fair enough, he's gone. He's paying it all back. He's made a big error. I don't like the guy. Yeah. But it's a human but a human. Tell me that again, Ellis. Ask me that again, and I'll give you the wrong response. John. You've been embesting money from a charity. Okay, yes. Um We launched an inquiry. And it would be really inappropriate for me to comment before the inquiry has come to a conclusion. So I'm afraid I can't I can't take any more questions on that right now. But what I do want to say. is the Britain's waters, which speed boats travel on. Yeah. are important to me and I will continue to fight and that's what I think what you're asking is what do the people of Britain want? They want clean water. And you want rest, but until the people I will not rest until w 'cause we kn will not tolerate the amount of sewage being dumped into our waters. And what I mean by that is we'll say we won't tolerate it and then we'll just sort of see how things pan out. But what about the embezzling? What's going on there? Well Dave, as I've said and I think I've been clear on this, it would be inappropriate to comment while the investigation is ongoing. Okay, but was it your fault? Was it your fault, Prime Minister? It's right and proper that there's an inquiry and that we get into a root and branch review of what's gone on. But I I am not in a position to comment right now, but what I will say is Britain deserves better. And that's why we're fighting. That's why we put 200 pounds into potholes. Britain wants to drive with confidence. Because a driving Briton is a better British. I don't know why you're looking so smug, Dave. You've had eight affairs. You kissed you kissed a woman on the bum by Big Ben. I've got pictures. Yes, I'm horny. Leave me alone. Sip out. This is about old pottles. This is about Mr. Puttles, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I I'd vote for you. Sounds great. Thanks. Sounds good. That's not what we were trying to prove, Dave. No, I like that. He hasn't apologized and he's won the your vote. Yeah, but he's trying to prove Britain. Dave's like that person who's interview going, I don't know, I just went to the polling booth and talk. Uh right. Made up. That was a really interesting. He's good at air. He is good, but that was a really interesting uh um example of why democracy doesn't work, Dave. Yeah. After 90 seconds, you were totally convinced by her ambesty. It's really general friend of my own. It would be good as an individual. Say Hannah came home. And Yeah. You've not put the tea in and it's frozen. And she's like, a long day. Oh we do that a lot of the minute actually. And you were like, and now it's gonna take forty minutes to cook. Yeah. And you were like and you said Hannah actually, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to comment on this. What I'm what I've done is I've spoken to the relevant department and there is going to be an investigation. Yeah. But now is not the time. Yeah. Loads of really weird jargon. Yeah. That doesn't relate to the normal vault or person on the street at all. Just constantly kicking things into the long grass. But you think politic is In a way. L a lot of a lot of commercial radio DJs talking like they're on commercial radio the whole time. Even when they're not on even when they're not on air. I don't name any names. But there's people that just become Person, do you think like at home. Building up for the weekend here. Friday night, better brush my teeth. Will I bother the full think I will, actually, because I'm slightly concerned about aggressive plaque. Exactly, but in the world of polit you think politicians are going home and then strong switch back and then and then delivering this language to their family. I think they're coming back closing the door, double checking those behind them and saying to them. Water. Yeah, they got up and I would admire that. All right, okay. be fair, you know, if they if they said a toned down version of that at the press conference, they'd have my respect. Yeah. Yeah. And I do respect some of them anyway. Good. And that was all fairly. That's the most five life. Is it? Yeah. Politics chat. Okay. More of that. Made up games! Yes, please. We're gonna give one final outing to the fantastic jingle that was sent in by the many men sound system. It's male voice choir that have done one hell of a made up games jingle. Of course, you can send your made up games jingles to hello at ellisonjohn.com. It's a new email address. It's a new email address for a new Britain. Yeah. How are you still going? Hello at Ellisandjohn.com, sending your jingles, but this is the Many Men Sound System for one more week. No. Some right Hey Very good stuff. So good. Hey. exciting times because the scores on the doors. Still no scores. No, this is good for you. This is good. It's a clean slate. It's clean. This is now the chance to really start to perform. This is when City were three nil down at Tottenham at half time and they'd had Joey Barton sent off and they won four three. Oh, years ago. What's that mean? Yeah. So there is there is still it can still be called. Yeah, if they could. Uh John's victory in the tiebreak of last week's game of abide with three meant he take he means he takes the set or meant he took the set. It's now two sets to love to John. We go again. Ellis. Clean slate. Look at me. Do you believe this could be a classic like you know 11 pm finish with, you know, 30 ps. Games to 29 games, five set, uh desperately scraping my commentary. That is slang. Okay. This week's game comes in from Nick. Dear team, I've come up with a game that I think will work well on the show. It's history based, so I'm hoping that gives Ellis a bit of a chance to claw some points back. The flip of that is of course if he loses a history-based game, having studied history at university and hosted a history podcast, the shame will be doubled. So good luck, Ellis. I think this is on your side. this game a touch. He's a professional historian. He is, in a way. If I was cleverer and more disciplined, I'd love to be a professional historian. You could do that. You could do that. The game is called Historical Celebrity Cemetery. It celebrates some hugely influential people from our shared human history and also celebrates the inevitable fact. Death comes to us all. Hurry! The glass is already broken. Yeah, exactly, yes. I just wish Frank Zapper had another 10 years. I think about that all the time. Yeah, I thought about that the other day. Was he still in his pom? He's 53, was he? He was fi 52 or 53, yeah. Was he? Uh the uh in each round Dave will name three. Well known figures from history. Yep. There are then two parts to each round. Your first job is to guess the age of the historical figures when they died. Do I need a pen. It's probably worth having a pen, yeah. Uh you will receive a point for each you for each year you are out, and your aim across those three celebs is to get the lowest points possible. Sure. Obviously the closest to the edge. If you get bang on for three, you're getting zero points in days. You then have to try and put their deaths in the correct order, going from earliest to latest. If you manage to guess the correct order, Your opponent's score is double for the round, so you're adding points to the other player in that round. And also we're just sorry for your loss. So earliest, earlier, always earliest to latest. Always earliest to latest. Jesus Elizabeth I, Winston Churchill. Yes. Although we've not got those three. Okay. That's fine. Jesus isn't dead. Interesting. Hmm. We got Jesus in it. No, we're all good. Phew. Jesus doesn't make the cut for this game. Makes makes the cut. Yeah. Uh points accumulative. So they'll add up across the three rounds. Lowest points at the end of the game. Wins. Okay. Round one. So I'm gonna I'm gonna shout all three names out. Scribble, guess, ages of the deaths. Scribble, guess, the ages of the deaths. Yeah. Napoleon. Okay That is interesting. Hmm. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Okay. Que Lizabeth I. Oh, Elis said that, didn't he, Dave? Matt. Okay. Mm. Hmm. Yeah. It's a tricky game. I think there'll be some no shame in being quite far out with some of these, I think, because they're all quite historical deaths to make sure it doesn't feel too distasteful. Wow, those trousers. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. So you may as well put them in order and guess the ages at this stage, 'cause you're gonna need to do both at various points of the game. Heck, heck yeah. We don't need years of when they did die, just the order. If we can if we can be so bold. Let me know when you're ready. Not my I am ready, not my period. I'm looking forward to hearing these the names and the scores. So closest to the age they were obviously means you keep your points down. Which means then if you did lose the order round and your other opponent wins, your doubling of the points won't be as much. So it all works. Uh Ellis, we'll come to you first for all three. Okay. Uh Queen Elizabeth the the first was born first. Hold on. That's not an element of this quiz. Yeah? You do it in uh completely missed. Now you're close. We need Well they're ages of death, yeah. Ages of death at start with An Order of Death. Order of Death. Okay. Which will be different to the Peter, but Queen Elizabeth First of sixty four. And that's your first. That's your first one to die as well? Or are you are you doing it in the order? First one to die in terms of the year. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, you're not going to be able to um Yeah. Mozart thirty six. Okay. Napoleon fifty five. Okay. Uh John, let's get yours, please. Same order. Same order. So death. Order of death, Elizabeth Mozart, Napoleon. Yeah. Ages. Elizabeth, I've got 58. Yeah. Mozart 24. Napoleon 53. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well I can reveal at this stage. Yeah. There are no double points in play. No. Because you both nailed it. Yeah. Congrats. Uh so that's the first pup that's the first part. The second part of course is getting as close as you can to the ages. There will be a cumulative score here that you will take into your next round. Alice. Napoleon was 51. You said 54, that's four points. Mozart. I actually said 55. Sorry, 55, that's four points is what I meant. That is what we've written down. Mozart is 35, you said 36. I got confused with another pianist. I thought mad young No. Is that Beethoven? You're probably thinking about his Redding. Or other people. Uh Elizabeth I. Died at 69. Bluminek. That's a good age. So Napoleon 51, Mozart 35, Elizabeth 69, Ellis went for 55, 36, 64. 10 points. Cumulative. John went for 53. Which is only two off, to be fair, for Mot uh for Napoleon. Mozart, you went for 24, so you got 11 points there. And Elizabeth you went for 58, which is also 11 points. So your cumulative is 24. Crikey Moses. So Analysis is what? Ten. Ten. Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go, round two. Good gameplay. William Shakespeare Joan of Arc Edward the sixth. The only son of Henry VIII. You shouldn't have said that, Dave. You shouldn't have said that. Why not? Because that gives an enormous clue as to when Edward VI was knocking around. Well, you know, sometimes it's just nice to have a helping hand, isn't it? Or is he the only or is or is he. Maybe he had more they didn't know about. Um That's Thunder. Nice fine. Shakespeare, Joan of Arc, Edward VI. Ellis with a 14 point advantage at this stage. These are hard. I'm expecting John to do well with Shakespeare. He studied Shakespeare University. I was very impressed with the first round from both of you. Good night. I was mad out. No, in general, you both got the order right. Yeah, you're a little bit out with most aren't, but it wasn't that bad. In fact, I said earlier that neither the p neither of the points would be doubled because you both got the order right. Actually, by both of you getting the order right. Both points are doubled. So let's stick to the rules there. So actually, Ellis, you were on ten, you're now on twenty. Okay. John was on twenty-four, he's now on forty-eight. So the points were double. Absolutely stinks. Stinks of sh. Do you work for the hotel chain that's been lying to me about what Nespresso machines work and don't. I'm very curious to know this because I don't know very much. Shakespeare, so I would like to eager to get cracking with this. He's eager to get cracking. Of course he is, because he knows the it's all stacked in his favor. They are the rules. I'll go back to the rules very quickly. If you manage to guess the correct order, your opponent's score is doubled for the round. Yes, of course, if you both get the correct order. it becomes a bit of a moot point, but it ha we have to stick to the rules because obviously if one of you did and one of you didn't get the correct order, right? It makes a huge difference. It's a movable feast. It's not a movable feast. I just moved I was eating my starter and it's been taken away. Yeah they've thrown into a cloakroom now. To be honest, right. I've got to be honest. I know that it benefits me, but that is a bad rule. It's not a bad rule. And if I win because of a bad rule, do what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna give my Price to charity. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Okay. John, will you give your prize to charity if you win? Yes, actually. I'll give it to Alice's school so I don't have to gig that. It's twenty points to forty-eight. Alice is now twenty-eight points ahead rather than fourteen, but we'll we'll Shakespeare, Ark, Sixth, John. Uh, so I've gone sixth arc, Shakespeare. Okay. Edward the Sixth. I've said I've said one. I think Edward the Sixth died. Got it. Young. Got it. Joan of Arc 26. Shakespeare 49. Okay. Alice, please. Joan of Arc, William Shakespeare Edward VI. Mm-hmm. No questioning that. John of Arc 19? Bill Shakespeare 62 Edward the sixth guess that sixty. I don't know anything about him. But I have no idea. Okay. The rules quickly. It doesn't make any sense, because he wouldn't be called Edward VI if he died as a child. He wouldn't have been king, but I thought Henry VIII. I thought Elizabeth I was Henry VIII's only child that went on to reign. I thought it was his grandchild. I can reveal at this stage, neither orders are correct. Okay. So there are, this is now correct. There are no double points in play. So which is going off the rule? The order is Joan of Arc. Edward the sixth, William Shakespeare. Oh. So John was earlier right in that regard. Okay. When did Joan of Arc die, Dave? Joan of Arc died at the age of 19. Oh, wow, it's well done. Zero. Uh John, you're seven out. You're on the 26. Uh let's go for Edward VI next. He died at the age of 15. Oh. So it's a it's a it's a big old hole. 45 years. Big old hole. Because Alice guess 60. John guess 14, so you know there is there's points accrued from both of you there. I'm actually gonna cross our word with a six club so I can three at myself. Sorry, John guessed one. John guessed one and it's 14 points out. Uh Alice guessed 60 and it's 45 points out, because he was 15. And finally, William Shakespeare was fifty-two. What did John guess? 69. 49. 49 for John, so he's three out. You guess 62, so you're 10 out. Whoa! This is quite a hard game to follow for the listener, I hope. Lotta numbers flying around. All you need to know is that in that round Ellis added fifty five points because that's how many years out he was across the three celebrities, famous figures. John. 24 out. So you do the better round. You get the better round there. Cumulativity. Cumulativity. Cumilivity. Cumatome. Cumatome live sniff. You're now on 75. John's on 72. It makes a delicious third round. Great game. Third round is delish. You're ready to scribble. Yeah. Queen Victoria Vincent Van Gogh Goff. Okay, yeah. Florence Nightingale. Heck of a mess. So just to remind everyone of the rules, in case you've not been following, um, Alice and John now needs to guess how old they were when they died and the order. in which they died. Hang on. Can everyone just calm down? Good grief. This is taking me back to my fathing's. Mm. This is taking me really back to my fathings. How are we feeling? One is problematic for me. Mm-hmm. Because I only know what she did. I only know what Florence Nightingale did. I don't know very much about her life. Yeah. So I know when she did what she did. But that doesn't really help me. But how long did you do it for? What a brain teaser. Yeah, it gets your cogs going, doesn't it? Okay. I'm fairly confident in my order, actually. Okay. Well interesting. The ages, I'm not sure. Well the order could be what swings it. If one of you are right and one of you are wrong, that's when the doubling will only happen to the opposing player. I think Queen Victoria was the last to die, and she died at the age of 87. I think that Vincent Van Gogh or Vincent Van Gogh was about forty when he died, I'm thinking. Florence Nightingale I think was the first to die. I'm taking a wild stab and saying that she was fifty eight, but I don't know. I know that she you know involved in the Crimean War in the eighteen fifties, but that's all I know about really. Okay, that's safe. So is that it's he's has he expressed his order there? He has expressed an order backwards. Yes, I have to be Nightingale Gough Vict. Yeah. Nightingale Gough Vict. Yes. John I've got the same order, I've expressed it in a different way, I've gone floor VVG Victoria. You've gone what, sorry? Floor VVG Victoria Order of Death. That's my order. Okay. Uh Victoria, 81. Uh Vincent Van Gogh, I said 45. And Florence. Uh I've said twenty-nine. Okay. Here's what's interesting. That's the noise from Michael. There's a gasp from Michael in the gallery. Gasp from the producer Michael. 29. Lovely. That was exactly the same noise as Stephen Hendry made. When Ronnie O'Sullivan was playing Mark Selby in the semi-final of the World Championship that was in lockdown. And Ronnie's been like just smashing the balls everywhere to off put Mark Selby off. And he plays this shot out of nowhere. And Stephen Henry goes. Oh yeah in the commentary. It's my favorite moment of sporting commentary. John has elicited a snooker sex noise. Yeah. Oh well Michael has. Yeah he's illicit he came from Mikey Hindus. I elicited it. Yeah, sorry, of course. Yes, you're right. Hey, well the the the big news here Is Both of you have the order wrong. Okay, so there's no doubles in place, so we're just going off the hard raw scores. Tell me the order, dude. I will, actually. Good. Vincent. Ah. 1890. Queen Victoria, 1901. Florence, 1910. I knew Victoria's 1901, because as far things go, 1936 to 19. I knew it 1901. I thought Vincent was the late 1880s. Yeah. Florence not sure. So when did Florence died in 1930? Well here we go. 1910, did you say? 1910, yes. But let's go through. The scores. Qued at eighty one. Wow, John's bang on. Well done. I know my fathing's dame. You do. You're only six out, Al? Eight seven. So you're still in this? Van Gogh. Died at 37. What did you say? 40. 40. 45. 45. So John's eight out. Ellis is three out. It is tight as we go into Nightingale. As we head to Florence. Yeah. Wow, and this is where the gasp was elicited, may I add. Um, Nightingale died at 90. Whoa. You're kidding me. I wouldn't. Ninety? I wouldn't. Oh wow. Well gotta congratulate Ellis. That's a huge win. Alice guesses 58, John guesses 29, which means Alice is 32 out for that round. John is 61 out for Nightingale. For the final points for that round, it makes it Alice 41, John 69 out in years, which means the overall point and that's the World Cup. You don't go that with me, it was a wild card. You're blame Joe Go Johnny Go Go Go And now we come down to the brass tacks it, which is... Ellis scores 116, John scores 141. The lower, of course, as well. I'm about to play my wicked wango card. As we've all been following, the lowest score wins the game. Yes. Naturally. And no doubles in play for the final round. So Alice 116 wins the game. Florence nice and got on in 1910. I um Shocked. Yes, you're sho I'm shook, you'd say. Oh yeah, I'm younger. I've just got a lot of br wrong ideas about Florence Nightingale, and I always have. And I'm gonna put those right. What innings? God I'm shook. What innings? Alice is shook. We're all confused. Good game. This is a good game. Such a good game. I enjoyed that. If they made that into a TV show, they would have to make wholesale changes. If they made that into a TV show, I would present it for free. And everyone involved will be sacked. And I would like the people at the BBC. Teleport, IT V sky. Yeah, you're distancing yourself from this one. Employ me. Osman could make that work. I didn't I did present it for free. Yeah. We'll we'd have a look at the point doubling, sure. Yeah. 'Cause you know, it works at points. And we'd call it we'd change the name of it to ages. No way. Yeah, yeah. And so I was ninety. No way. Good movie. So it's very death orientated. Do you know what? We could have gone birth. We could've No, as the f It's not funny. How would you give birth? What a year is. What year are they built? W what well what was the order at that which they were born and maybe what year were they born? I think do you know what We ain't had a death game ever. No. So I think, you know, for the for the sake of playing everyone's games that come into the inbox, hello at Ellis and John.com. It's alright. I enjoyed it. Death comes to us all. We're celebrating these. I got one bang on. Ellis got two bang on, didn't he? Yeah. Victoria bang on. You got Joan of Arc bang on. I got Joan of Arc bang on. I was close with more sut from. Well you're one off remote. So it's just to remind you of the point scoring system there. Uh. Uh well we've gone on far too long. Um Thank you so much for listening. Um What are we gonna what what what do we do now? Do we say goodbye or do we ask us anything? No we say goodbye. If you do have us an ask us anything, send it to hello at ellisonjohn.com. Correct. Thank you very much for listening. We'll be back with you next week. Goodbye.