Upcoming bird watching adventure announcement

Hello everyone, The Ellison John cinematic universe is now available to all. Yes, head to patreon dot com slash Ellison John for Lords of extra content, including our brand new film series The Adventures of Ellis and John, fully visualised podcast episodes twice a week and behind the scenes bonus content. So to watch shows, get ad free episodes and come on adventures with me, Ellis and Dave Patreon d. com slash Ellison John. Hello everyone and welcome to the Ellice James and John Robins showh. It's a long time in the past, isn't it? What What does that mean? Today is a long time in the past if you're listening live. A lot has happened to us since today. Yes? Yeah, because of the unique way we record this and because of the unique way that I go on holiday during half term And because of the unique way I climb mountains. Yes. Are we all the way next week? This is exciting. Last week. Last week. I'm back now. Yeah yeah yeah yeahm I'm going away again next week, probablyably. I don't know. Are you? No, of course not. I'm love for this show, John. Yeah, yeah. I'll take one week off and that is it. That is it. Got to ask a question. Are you wearing a t shirt oy smoking a crack pipe. Yes. O the donkey. O the donkey? Yes, I am. Oh what what's up? That is the least John Robins t shirt I've ever seen in my life. Or is it? Oh, it's BPB LA. Right. Is that difficult for you U because you love be be It's Bonnie P.'s Bonn Prinibilityy shirt. cly. You love Bonnie Princecipilly, you love his music, you love his thought, his mind, his attitudes. H labels and his labels. And everyone who works for his label. And every who works for labels. Hi, Jillianne. Hi Nia. What are you doing? You've hi to my friends at Domino game You've Sorry, I do have other friends. You've met him, you've interviewed him. You've cherished his records for almost thirty years. Very much terrify. I've written about him I think we're calling it a Sunday Times bestselling memoir, slash blobography. It's ail. It's a lovely page. in the top ten. It's a lovely chapter about Bunny. Itute. But you don't really like donkeys, cowboys, or craacks. I like donke dononkeys and I like cowboys. What's happening there, do you? Yeah. I'm a B Clint Eastwood fan. Are you? Yeah Yeah I've watched all of his films He's a superb director You would have but not politically, I think we differ on a few areas. okay Yeah, and that's takes all sorts You think people should own more guns. Yeah I could see you as a cowboy. No day No no. No, there's a lot of solitude knocking about as a cowboy just on the open raange. Totting around. Very hot. I pretty imag get this. the heat and in his leveather chs with his revolver. I wouldn't like that actually. I also have often thought when I was watching Westerns like everyone goes into a saloon and they all have neat bourbon. Yeah. that gives me heartburns Yeah. But they also didn't have fridges So I think if you went in thatan beer Yeah, you might get shot out of town with a gun in your head. Yeah Yeah in Yeah. I also think The horse riding is going to play havoc on your back. Could you major not? Well no, because it's a bit like having a kneeling chair. your back is always engaged. But it's just for getting on and off, I wonder how Yeah. I would need a little ladder. Or a helper. Or a helper. So you could have someone to get you on and off the horse. Yeah, I could And then you could go into the to the bar at the saloon barn and ask for a warm lucky saint I yeah, I went through a big period of watching Lads of Westerns. That was sort of my go to genre. What was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, big to. I like the sort of nineteen sixties ones are incredibly slow moving Yeah, the spaghetti Westers. Yeah, then every now and then someone will like adjust his hat and it'll take fifteen minutes good N of it. I watched all of it. There's a great series with Kevin Kostner that Oh yellowstone. Yellowstone. Did you watch that? No, I watched the first couple of episodes and I thought I cannot asked.. It's about a thousand episodes long. Yeah, we have actually stopped watching it halfway through, but we enjoyed the harm that we were do that so much. I also think all TV episode should be twenty one minutes long. Yeah, with adverts. With adverts. So half an hour with adverts. That's enough. Yeah. That's more than enough. More than enough But yeah, he's smoking, it might be a phone. It might be crack, but you know, he He has a different tradition to me. Yeah, and I respect. This's just your advertising illegal drug job. I'm advertising Bonnie Prince Bill. It could just be as I thought you could beeug. Also, you don't know where he is. He might be in, for example, Peru where those drugs aren't illegal. Okay. You might be in Mexico. Yes. Where it's a mixed picture. Good point. Or he's getting breathalized? Or he's breathalizing himself on a donkey through a bong Well, that's good, that's that cleara. U Yes, but I'm in a good mood obviously because I'm about to I'm notock because people are talking on the train. Oh no no are near me. A what? There was there was a woman in front of me just watching videos on her train Really? And I thought, come on come on love. There needs to be a headphonone sign I And it's just a sign' always men J just talk at twice the necessary volume on a quiet carriage about what Chelsea fans are like Yes, like al. But like I'm so aware of the impact I have on other people. So why did you act like you did for twenty two years? In public. Not in my professional life. Maybe I got that the wr way. said, ye, you should have been a bit louder on the tube and a bit light to the backstage But like unless it was an emergency, I would never take a call on a train No, orr I would answer ag go, I'm just on a train or. Yeah, I just speak if I have to, I speak incredibly quietly because I'm embarrass. These two guys talking so loud and in a very performative hate to use a broad brush over your fellows, Ellis, but like in a football fan kind of Yeah, that's right. Lloods are bloods. Yeah, I no. He was standing up night you're like mate. No one else is talaking. You don't have to talk over anything. What are their thoughts on Chelsea? I could I'd tell you what my thoughts on they them are Dave They need to have those conversations in a big cave. You know what I think I actually think it's such a problem I think there should be nationalized headphones available for all and all trains. Yeah, like NHS glasses when we were growing up. Yeah And I think you walk on it, there'd be just a big bin full of headphones with some sanitizer. Like on a plane. Yeah, yeah. and then there is zero excuse then. But what about the talking? because if if people are taking calls on the headphones, they talk even louder Yeah they were both wearing coats that you own Well, then I like the guy. I And I was thinking that I was thinking, Ellis would be listening into this conversation in a very different way. Yeah. There was one time I was on a meeting in the canteen downstairs. Yeah, and I had my headphones in. So you do just naturally start to raise the volume because you you know, you're trying to be assertive and confident saying ring fence as often as you can. Ring fence, a lot of verticals knocking about John waved at me from the other side becauseuse he'd already turned up and he just looks at me into the Ross Galler Yeah he's g they just tone it. Which actually really put me off the meeting. Well got had. I just have one headphone in. Yeah yeah. Well I almost saw a fight on the train. Did you a couple of days ago There was a blook He must he was he was relatively young not in his early twenties And he must I didn't see what he'd been doing, but I'm guessing from the way it panned out that he'd been watching something very loudly on his phone or listening And a much older American guy who was probably in his I would say mid to late sixties. Here we go. When up to him. basasically nose to nose. I'm not going to do the voice, but he was like Have you ever heard of earphones, mate Have you never heard of e your phones? like guy went, What's it to do with you? And you went, I'll tell you what it's to do with me. I'm standing right next to you M redibly incredibly irritating and distracting. Correct. And there's no need for you to do it without headphones. But the guy was had obviously been building himself up to do it for a couple of stops. Yeah. So I was looking at his body language I like his, you know, he's got his clenched fists and he'sret straining his muscles. I thought Oh my god, it's actually going is going to kick off. He is me apart from his actions. Yeah He said, I don't care about you, mate. What st stuck to his g his guns. said What's it to do with you? said I'll tell you what to do with me. you' in a public place. You're on a packed subway train ' he was from the US And everyone can hear your phone and it's not on. it's not acceptable. Like I said, I don't care what's acceptable. What? Because obviously now he felt like he couldn't back down because this man in his li. But the truth is he doesn't care No, no that That is why he's doing it Absolutely. But it's interesting to know that that's the truth. The truth is they just don't care about other people. And then He said the young guy said,Were are you going off me? And the American said, I'm going off a King's Cross. He said, I'm going off for King's Cross as well. And he went, Okaykay, let's kiss. And then S we on a day. And I couldn't quite hear what he was saying, but he said something like I'm not scared of you and I don't care what you think of me And then he said something like, and if you get off the train and you keep talking to me, Ill just you said something like I'll knock you out, right Like I said I'm not to knock you out. I'm asking you to turn your phone down And he was very anungry the American guy like in this s dead poet society standing next to me said, Well done, mate for telling him. Well done. Yes. And then the young guy said, What's got to do with you? He said Tell you what he's got to do with me. Weere ononor. We're on a train and your actions are unacceptable. The guy was like, I don't care. What did you do I didn't do anything because I thought this is going to be fantastic for the Friday ep. What recently? This was the two nights ago. Because you're in you're in the in your era in life of standing up for yourself As we know Vigilantellis. You're vigilantees, so why weren't you? I thought you might chpped in. were either of them being with headphes Because then I could have stepped in They put your headphones on. I miss it. I step in if it's dangerous but not irritating. Okay. So I don't like it when people are listen to music on headphones and I would without headphones and I would never do it, but I'm not going vigilant to yellis it. But I' driving up my child minder street to sixty miles an hour, I will then to they a car at the traffic light, knock on the window. lose my mind in a way that I don't recognize myself. So yeah, so basically if you're sitting next to me on the train or on the bus and you got your music on with no headphones, I will let it go, but I'm inwardly judging you. So I would maybe as the third vigilante have taken a different and said, Are you from a broken home? No, I would have said, whyy don't you care Because it's obviously affecting people. whyy don't you care about other people? Yeah. but some Some people just always put themselves first, don't they? I can't understand it as a way of living And it's the one thing I want to drill into my kids, you have to think about other people Because some kids for whatever reason just they never get that lesson taught to them I guess it's super main character energy, isn't it? In fact, it's it's only character energy Yeah But I would I just feel so embarrassed if I impinge either sort of physically or vocally on anyone else's journey or day I don't want to get in the way. I don't want to I just sit doing my crosswords and my headphones on. Why can't just everyone on Earth do that I mean, it wouldn't be much fun Well, they would, but ye they'll be learning about the English language. Yeah. But yeah, I know what you mean What I am willing to let go? because I find it actually very charming is that whenever I get the train from say, comearth and to Swanans your Carthen to cardiff on a Saturday morning, which I do relatively often always be women who are drunk getting on atleep with bottles of wine and they're listening to music. And I'm like Ladies day Do doesn't bother me And they're listening to like Shiira Hello. I'm always like, yeah This is West Wales and I don't mind this actually I don't know the women as much. the men are a bit more annoying. I was on the train the other day and there must have been a Hindu, but I would imagine a second wedding because the women were all in their like forties and fifties. they were having a fantastic. But also that's not a threatening energy, is it? No, and it's not It's not as much an inconsiderate energy. Well it is, but it's so loud. You're in the discco. Yeah, one of the things W someone listening to music or watching a video on there? L there was a guy next to me just watching an episode of something on Netflix on his phone because These speakers on an iPhone are so tinny. It's just irritating. Yeah. It it's not like you're watching a cinema with Dalby surrounds. You're watching it on some guy's phone and there's the sound of the train at the same time. Also, when it's the Hindu carriage, you can sort of leave the carriage. Yeah, or you can do what I do, Start chatting them up. Get involved. What did we say No, I think I might have said have a good day ladies as I got off at Galarton. But in a thick Welshack. Yeah. I have a good day ladies. And Do was it Very good. Who's the Bushian bride? That's what I said But I'm in a good mood all not I've s you look could going into the Alps, of course. Oh. That' why you're stressed because of the flight and packing it. I've already packed Patch light today. Okay, well. A whenady when you f? Tomorrow. Well, I'll be back now Be don't worry about don't worry about no one cares. Well, I'm back You packed d packed two days before your flight Yeah That's adorable and hilarious and you're a psycho. I'm not a psycho. Two days two days My My mum would pack suit put him in jail. My mum would have the suitcase out laid on the spare bed seven days. If I had a spare bed, that's where it would have been. Yeah. M used to do that. Yeah. But here's my thinking I he could leave now Yeah, I could leave now Hilarious. How is that hilarious? What an empty life? No, it's not. Because, right? because I'm going on a walking holiday. First off What if I find out the stuff I need is in the washing you do one wash a month Yeah, exactly. Yeah that' be. I might have to do a wash Yeah to get the clothes I want. Point number one. Okay. Point number two, so I need enough time to wash and dry the clothes I might need. And you've got a tmble dry. Not going to tell K. Nature's tumble driry, Dave. Yeah the at theor and the radiators and the radiators Um cond What if I need to buy something for the trip and I don't know until I've packed That's what expensive shops and airports are for. That's not happening U Thirdly, neatness, neatness in pots Thd fourthly then there's no fourth one. Three's plenty. Yeah, there's three good reasons. Yeah, I think two I mean, I don't do this But I think two days is all right We're just different Actually John's actually the winner here, I think. Don't encourage. No he's stress Im then stressed because I've left it to. I'm not stressed. I came to London on Wednesday for three days for a couple of engagements Wednesday morning about twenty minutes before the taxi was turning up to take me to stop, I thought to myself, whyy have you done this again? You're a lofty. I mean you're you're rock and roll. You're on your're sign to creation. I am John's on Domino, as we know. Yeah, big time. If I wouldn't mind be on Domino. No, John's on an shoot of a classical label I'm on Naxos Yeah, so everything's all packed and ready to go. I'm going to look at several Alps. I'm going to look at a lake. I'm going to look at a very nice old town. Are you going your? Sollo I'm taking some pals with me. Great. So it's sort of Lads on tour. Lads on Alps. Um And but I'm back But I haven't gone yet. Yeah, which is quite an exciting headspace to be in. What was it like? U whyy have you chosen? is it not more expensive because you've gone during half term Or is that because some of your friends have kids? Some of my friends have kids, but also I don't think it's French half term A also Megat top tip Um whereere did I hear this top tip the other day? If you want to go on a European camping holiday Go to go to is it Euro Park in the Netherlands because their half terms are different so it's really cheap. And apparently the parks are quite good. Oh really? Yeah yeah, yeah Okay. Well they're bad, I can't remember, but it is cheap. I can't remember where I heard that. I think it was on a podcast but it was ' I haven't spoken to anyone for a long time Either Rory Stewart eith' al going to Europark in Germany or one of the three beans. And I probably the latter. I don't think it was any of them. I can imagine that coming from Wznik, I can' imagine Rory Stewart, reco recommending Europ Park in the now He's walking across Afghanistan with his kids. For six months. Yeah, yeah, yeah, big time, big time U so I reckon I'll have Ie climbed six or seven alps by now. You can do any foot climbing Yes, going do foot climbing, but eye climbing wise it's a mixedability group. I don't want anyone damaging their iris. Okay, what's the highest up you've been U ' Snordden orithwi is one thousand and eighty five meters, I think. Oh, way more than that. So you've actually been further than a thousand meters. Yeah, yeah. Oh w. But I mean I ran five K down a mountain the last time I went to the chagrin of my calves, that was a huge mistake Yeah to run downhill for five kilometers. But that's obviously not straight down. Yeah, of course. But they're slightly different, they're much more accessible I mean Snowden's accessible. But you could get very high without having to do any like scrambling or advanced climbing techniques. Um, So And another reason, I'm in a good mood is because I got ID this morning. Didt Did you?ook on the booz? Well, what you trying to what were you trying to buy? I got ID by the delivery guy for an ESIig replacement Wow. And I got I had I was frying an egg and listening to a podcast. So the house was in a sort of state of agitation And I open the door and He looked at me and he said, Can I have you got any ID? And I said I think it's upstairs and I'm forty four. He said, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you because you don't look forty four And I said, Well, now I'm annoyed and I love you. Yeah.. So I ran up to get my ID and he said sorry, it's company policy. But that did feel good actually. And I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought, mayaybe he was ying Yeah, it's actually driver told me that he thought I was in my early thirties he Oh that's and I thought you're trying to get off with me. Yeah. that's not true But nice, you know Yeah Nice have that little boost there Okay, let's do some correspondence Now a couple of weeks ago. John put out what I thought was the excellent email topic. When have you had the ick? Or if you're over the age of thirty five, when have you've been made to cringe by your partner very late on in the relationship, years, maybe decades in and we've had. And has it ended the relationship? Yeah. Can you imagine, Dave, if we were on capapitol That would have flown like a flgle Yeah. and never landed. It would be it would have had chicks in mid air. It would be known as an eagle topic. It would be known as the eagle The Eagle teeter. The Glden teextter Yeah, it would because they would use the word Iick. they have when they have those meetings to discuss their figures The head of the station should be seen Guys, we've got to come up with more eagle topics. John's done it But you all need to do it. What are your eagle top? Then would have given me a prize? No, he'd have just rg the bell, and then he'd have let you ring the bell. Oh, nine. And then you'd have to ring the bell in forever That's good. Okay. What John really wants is for a nick to be so potent that it actually ends a marriage. Well, I want to know what is the longest into a relationship and it has ended it or begun the slow cent What's the definition of an ick? Because people do get divorced when they start to hate their partner. Yeah ye. also, I think it's imp people to isy So like an ick shouldn't be a judgment about sometimes you can use it as a way of just like dising someone's interests Yeah. it shouldn't be like a pejorative against certain groups, but it's I think it's a habit Often that you suspect has never come under scrutiny before Yeah, so they just I tell you who would be excellent discussing this is zzy used to work on the show because she is extremely ick phobic. I think I to give her the ick about twice an hour So it's something that if someone did on a date D't to scop. For example, when I lived with a lot of people in my early twenties, what used to give my friend Katie the Eck If We were living with lots of people And if someone had just used a butter knife, they would just clean their knife but they wouldn't wash up anything else. Yeah, okay. Do you know what I mean? there'd be lots of stuff, and you know, if you find sure that's ick, I think. No, flat mate annoyia. No, but what I'm saying is it used to make her cringe. And that's the thing. It's quite a movable sort of term, isn't it? I think cringe is more like Iick is more like cutting your toenails in front of the telly opposed to bad behavior. Okay. like L leaving your washing and the washing machine is ant . What is you a pain? you Yeah, but it actually made him think, o, come on, mate. It wasn't in a flightm and annoyance. It was Yeah, but come on mate is not. we've got none this nailed down come on mate is What used to give Iizzy who worked on the show The Yick was like people wearing without trainers No trainers without socks or like little secret socks. That would give her the ick. yeah. This is too lengthy for capapital at this stage. They desperate for just in Yeah desperate We come up with the Eagle teextter and you've been disacked straight away. program controller has walks into the studio said How are you still trying to figure out what an ick is? We're seven minutes in. The links meant to be forty five all the things I think when someone does it, you think, okay, well if they do that, what else do they do M What does that say about the person Anyway, we've got a really good one. This made me laugh a lot, All right? Hello, Bonny Prince, Beef Hart, Gorgeous and Dave your luxs away s I'm writing in some traumatic later in relationship discoveries I only realised once I'd moved in with my then boyfriend just how cringe and incompetent he could be. He wasn't very practical or domestic and over our four and a half year relationship, it reached intolerable levels Highlights, this is huge for me Highlights include me texting him to please put my clothes from the laundry basket into the washing machine Only for me to get home to realise he'd done exactly that. He'd literally just put them into the washing machine but hadn't turned it on He also wasn't able to use cling Oh my Godn't He also wasn't able to use cling film and once asked me how to preheat an e fvent Now I think in there is a use. I don't think the washing machine thing is ick I think asking someone how to preheat an oven is an That's massive. Yeah. But the first thing I being annoying. Unless I've been doing it wrong my entire life you know, you just put turn the avenan on, don't you? Yeah good.. My fininal straw was when my mum told me she messaged him to ask how I might want to celebrate my birthday, which he didn't reply When I questioned him on it, he said it wasn't always possible to respond to messages had he had a very fast moving Whatsapp. that face. I think I'm gonna to st use enough phrase. Also his name was Nick, which is three quarters of the word Iick anyway. Ultimately, he left me. astonishing. Kind regards non Piaz Ellis, I don't care if something good happened to his sister. Jacob should have happened to me because I've talked a lot about how Jacob, my brother in law is extremely competent and a n Iice spoke and very physically fit person. This is a good one from anonymous He says, Hello boys, your request for finding a new Eick in a relationship couldn't have come at a more relevant time in my life I've been with my partner for five years. for context, he's the kind of person that thinks he's dying regularly and it's usually just a common cold And finally this weekend, he was actually ill. Finally. The works, fever, snot coughing That's when it hit me. I cannot stand the way he coughs. This is rich. . Picture a toddler coughing with their lips stuck out making an O shape forcing a cough each car finished with a high pitched expelling of air Iagine if I coughed like that. just pr. For five years this man has been coughing around me. thirty seven years he's been coughing solo like this. I've really had to question my life choices. Can I really be with a grown man that coughs like a baby caught off guard Yeah, there is that kind of Oh that one. Yeahah, yeah. Yeah, where a baby sort of doesn't know what's happening to their body. Yeah. I would find that a problem. But you know, I think this is the thing and this is probably why they areren't hundredundred of these is because People aren't leaving them because if you're that far into the relationship, you're probably just at the point to go. Cuffing's, mad. Can you just sort that out. I know you well enough and we're close enough. You couldn't say that on a first d. C can't start on the first d. No. sorry The way you hold your knife and fork is insane and you're going need to really rethink that now It was five It might be an ick, like if someone like picked up their knife and fork in a mad way. Yeah. But then you wouldn't have noticed that. So what I'm interested is how late into relationships these things can be noticed for the first d. Because obviously on a first date, you notice everything and you analyze everything. But I wonder if you're also performing, but then that would suggest that you knew the thing you did was weird Here's Justin Bieber Here's Justin Bieber with his new song You're my girlfriend robably has gra kids, I love you remix. Yeah Is that radio it? Radio edit U Is that what is that his song? U You're my girlfriend. Possibly not. apppparently he did very I love you. He did very well at Coachella this year, D Did he do a geese cover? No Geese did a Bieber cover. D Beby's quite cool now, isn't it? He's kind of moved into the elder statesman of pop. Mas Mud and he's probably thirty six Yeah. Y my go. We've had enough oh my go. you it would be very difficult to elevate to pitch this show because our rememas are either by aches or laths. Yeah. We've had enough. emails about Generation Lave Because John doesn't think the genens he have access to it. Well, the hashtag from Thirst is generation Lathless. Yes because we live amongst a generation who no longer interact with Lathes Does Hannoney use lathes in her DT or is that all been Nothing she does. Bloody woke forgetget Hanah is a DT teacher in secondcondary school. A DT te. DTC I think lathes are in the mix. Are they in the mix? That's good to know. Oh there's there's a lot of dangerous machinery Yeah, yeah yeah. because people she comes to says would have in Josh Gy's hair trapped again. Oh my that would then she would lose her job. No, she's very She's very pause as well. I dropped DT in year nine, but at A level, they'll be doing really elaborate stuff with. they're making skyscrapers. Yeah through bles. I made the shard from A level J Justin B Brother's uncle my girlfriend. There you go Yeah Cunning CEOs of Content As a devault TV podcast thans the retetro Winner ins sister extxtraordinary Harriet Horse pre orered a signed copy of John's book Imagine my bewildered amusement when suddenly I found myself reading about Hanah about hashtag Generation Lathveless and men who have both a lhe and a vice bolted to a workbench. and I'm forced to accept that I have in fact married demands such as this. Green flag My engineer husband Andrew, not only owns a considerable amount of swar figa and has a vice bolted to his workbench, he also griefully bought himself a lathhe recently, not just any lathhe. an MNS, let know a three kilogram small blazed it Gorgeous Belgian milk chocolate. What a great practical joke. That would be on Capital, a big lhe of chocolate from Brexit.. A salted caramel lathe Whatas that lake got hy comb in it W they my favourite chocolate lates M notot just the three hundred kilogram small inadverted commerslave, that took two grown men to pick up in a large van from another grown man who was even more griefful be getting rid of it When asked what he planned to do with said Lathe, andrew as an electronic engineer, you know small stuff and things, he replied, Make bits of metal smaller. Yes. When sent a picture of the fateful moment in John's wonderful book, he looked beused because to him, having a lathe makes perfect sense. question is what's next? Thank you for the wondrous. Alexia You would die such a happy man to know you'd spent your life making bits of metal smaller I think that's such an honest pursuit. Noble. So noble. Yeah just Putting something back into this broken country And that thing is a small bit of metal that fits into the holes in Britain. Yeah, wow. P' be watching a lot of party political broadcasts or This is from Claire in Newcastle. Hello my charitable champs. I couldn't help but share that my good friend Nicki has recently acquired his very own Lathe to achieve a long held ambition of producing his own pool ceues from his workshop in Newcastle upon Tne. Do use a lathe for that We had a pool ceue designer on the pod. Our p O one pool ce maker back on the tine. We didn't have a pool ceue maker We had a snooker cue designer. Did we? Because it' the design's fairly locked in with snooker. Well All a sn snooky cue makeaker because basically there's this one an unsung hero He basically has monopolized Snooker in Paris Maybe ye. Be he does it for all of them, doesn't it? In the same in the same way that like Winmao have absolutely monopolized dartboards. Yes We must be coining it in Winmaow. Wind Ma' have coned it. Oh there's other there's unicorn. There is Okay. There's others U We, his friends have been kept abreast of all things lathe And the those that were physically strong, I love the those and the those that were physically strong enough have helped him lug his new toy into place. I thought you might like to know that one is still very much in operation for creative endndeavour I've yet to find out if he has a trusty tub of swarf eager to hand though Love the show All the best Clare in Newcastle ays The those I'm going to be saying that a lot. U we've add this in. I mean this is mainly for me as I'm going to read it out selfishly This is about a thirty six hour Welsh bike ride order seed. Dear Ellis John producer Dave. I'm writing you. I've just completed a bike challenge last weekend that I think will be of interest to Ellis as an opportunity to further combine his interests of c rec cononnecting and cycling Brian Chapman Memorial is a long distance cycling event known as an AWDax. I've never actually heard that word before These events while often whimical in nature are always very, very, very long In this case, a six hundred kilometre route from Cepstow in the southwest of where' to Meni Bridge, which is in northwest Wales, at which point you turn around and head back to Chheepstow where you started. Wow. that's in a car that I would dread that drive car Is it B Rad bonanza Uh yeah, well well, in a car you'd be doing on N AE roads, but it's just so windy. I want that a bungee jump in chaps though ? Yeah, Europe's biggest bungee jump. Wow Yeah, it was an odd promotion for XFM where I had I had to get sent around and have to getting my heart rate increased. So across a week O skydiving Bungee jumping. Did you? Yeah. I wanted a dead Sara. It was great. actually. No, thank you. It's like a racing track ab say there was a bit of a por. That must have been a fun job, dude. That was fun because it was was what was that film that came out where he had to keep his heart re Reless? No, crank or something. Oh ye, with Jason and Staath Staaths. So I had to just go and do stuff that would raise my heart. Could we do that, but where I do things that lower my heart rate? Yeah like a meditation weekend. Yeah. And then the end you put me in a fridge in a morg So say you're in a good mood That would be calming and cold Yeah Smoke a big Doobbe. Smoke a big Doobe. Oh no that would raise your heart rate It actually would. Yeah. Okay. Who's Brian you might ask and why does he need remembering? Well, leegend has it that Brian was so loyal to his Northwalian bike mechanic that he would ride the same route from Chepstore to Menai Bridge to visit the Mchanic, get a tune up, then turn around and pedal home. Surely that many miles is going to cause wear and tear on your bike that means you then immediately need to turn around at Chepstone and go back again. That was the life Brian chose Brian's thick So last weekend, a band of one hundred and thirty mostly older men plus me, a thirty two year old young and relevant lady cyclist set off in Brian's tracks to retrace his route through wheels. I won't sugarcoat it, it was hard. Low lights include crying into a flopjack on the side of the road in Hangon Wh? You haven't actually gone very far if you're in Hangon, unless you're on the way back Maybe she's crying about something else. Yeah. that's a bad new. It' story Yeah I mean, she's on the way back hereise she's almost done it so she'd be five hundred and fifty k inn' me getting drenched in whatels like a hurricane in Sun Berries. a lot of inclement weather in Sun Berries getting attacked by a bat on Barmouth Rilway Bridge Discovering the sad reality of closures of public toilets in rural Wales? yes, notot to mention the many brutal climbs throwed a rurry. Oh my God I mean it's so steper on there. Itnordonia and are right. I do want to say thank you for your part in getting me through this thirty six Aourwelsh Odyssey, in dark moments, I would distract myself wondering who Ellis might know in the town I was cycling through. Be that AbtW or Bilth Wells. Imagining myself traversing Ellis's map of connections. I also kept myself entertained singing the connection jingle as I passed Harleck at dusk As a final Hill Mary, I had the latest st of the pod unloaded and ready to deploy as an extra boost And as hope, this really helped me through particularly bad funks somewh in night and my friend broke his arm in night Anyway. I think, with a bit more training, the Brian Chapman Memorial would be perfect for Ellice. The opportunity to see whales pass by, Nay absorb whales on a bicycle is truly one I can thoroughly recommend. Being only a quarter Welsh living in Bristol, I was not able to benefit from the cbry connecting boosts of energy I know Ellice would get, although I fear I got close to knowing what must be like. what that must be like when I cycle connected with the lovely man from Swansea in the final miles Chutting about bikes and distracting me from the pain enough to finish the ride together beaming Ellis with his secret weapon would conquer the hills and valiles of this route. I'm sure of it keeps cycling Jess from You could make a heartwarming travelalogue doc You know, where I cryed into a flapjack. You could cry into a flapjack and go through a thunderstorm and you could call it Um Eis James Wales is from Wales That's not one of your best. Wheels, wheels, wheels whels. W whels Wales by Wheels. Wes by wheel. Yeah that's nice. It's Jimpsays Wales by wheel. Right? PBCWes you for listening No. L yourself Netflix. Netflix it mates. Disney plus I. Disney pllus. Yeah, I'll do for Apple And I'll get paid a hundred million thousand grand hundred million thousand grand day for Wheels throughrough Wales. Yeah. I'd watch Wheels through Wales. Well I would hope you would. Yeah, I would th. You' my friend. Yeah, I know. Yeah you't watch fancy foobulllly, but that's fine. I got no. D don't have Sky. No, I don't have Skye to be fair. Oh, thanks. Sorry. but I wasn't gonna get a subscription justes. I would have said if you'd been presenting this It's expensive. Right, I think it's time to lower Ellis's heart rate, Dave. Okay with some wisdom. Right Right then everyone, a couple of weeks ago, Ellis poured scorn on wisdom. He set the cause of mindfulness back. Th million years shit. Sh Should we play a clip, Dave? Okay glass is already broken No it's not a comp. Eice glass is already broken.. I looking at it. It's already broken. But I'm not partially sciteded really. I'm fine. L at a b What does that mean? I'm more interested in this than him Okay y, Dig it c teiners Cinas have already disbanded. What They've not No, I'm without us now So there you go. Ellice bringing his cynicism to the world of It's not cynicm, it's just It's just common sense. It pragmatism. H commommon sense. It'sasar Alice. Bluminach, John, you gotta give it. It really work works brilliantly Please of that Yeah, I would be. Common Zen. That was super. Okay. But he's desperate for me not to get a good drink too b. which isn't very zen. I'm trying to make it work in my head. was If he was zen, don't let it go But he doesn't practice what he preaches U Well, I have no preference. So it's neither good nor bad What do you mean? it just is Common sense. Okay, Yeah, That's the best thing you've ever done. That was's not that good. jous. Or is it, and it is at the same time No I did do a good one a couple of years ago. G that's bad, isn't it I did say something good a couple of years ago and you belled me But I don't remember what it was. Yeah. good stuff. Anyway, I suggested that we need to introduce Ellis to more Buddhist teachings Now I've not heard these because you you'd have no Spiritual Hinterland. Zero, zero. and that's fine. And in many ways, Zealas That's the goal By having a spiritual experience, you realize that life is life Yeah, I mean, obviously going on holiday with the kids next week, so I'll be ticaking Ayuasuca. He' sick for twelve hours Gar D you want to hear this week's d parable Oh,ah, on there. So this is the Parable of the horse, sometimes known as the parable of the f. I'm allergic to them, so we're already in trouble. Oh o. Yeah. Have you got any pidd it on? We've not, but we've got a little bit of Zen music to play to get us in the mood. S Hit him with that I'll turn it off ust right guess so. So I get a lot of comfort from this parable. Okay. Once upon a time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Did he leave? No, but he didn't like the changes to inheritance taxax So he was he he's the he's the sort of person who says Actually Clarkson's farm is quite good. Okay, All right then. I didn't mind Clarkson's farm. Everyone doesn't mind Clarkson's farm. I'm related to farmers, but I've never asked them their opinions on Clarkson's farm. Interesting. I might do that next time I' back in C. I bet they're not keen. I would imagine that. I don't know. almost certainly they haven't watched it. Once upon a time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbours came to visit, Such bad luck, they said sympathetically. Maybe The farmer replied, It is bad luck and he needs to, you know. Maybe Is that the end of it? No, wor.. he's had a struck of bud back there. Why? Well, he either needs to buy a truckor if you can afford it And, you know, he needs to go to his bank and he needs to get a loan for a tractor. I think it's even more serious than that because this is pre tractor. Okay, well then he needs to get hold of another horse. Maybe. N think The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses How wonderful, the neighbours exclaimed. Maybe. He needs to make his mind up Maybe, replied the old man. The guy's a lib dem The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses. Okay and was thrown off and broke his leg. Right, Well then he's having an absolute nightmare The neighbors came again to If he says maybe to this, this guy needs this guy needs to give his head a shake The neighbourors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune M Oh this would drive me mad. It's like people that when you ask him to do something they go, ye, I can do. So he' he can do. He's in the parable age, so you won't have any access to painkillers? No. His poor boy' broken his leg. I mean this he's having an absolute shocker. This is this is right at this stage now I'm moving into a town. I'm thinking of myself, I'm going to get a job in a shop becausecause I can't handle this. it's too unpredictable living on a farm Maybe, answered the farmer The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbourors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out Thanky said the farmer. It's quite rude at this point. It is rude. There underers the lesson. It is rude. So his boy's not gone to the army? No, but he's got a broken leg might be hobbled for life I mean, I'. It's only day two, so she's going to be an absolute agony. This is gonna be horrific this. Well they would have I don't know how about a brick it is if he's been thrown off a wild horse, could be a comppun fracture. it piers to skin. Oh my God. He said whod it. he's having an absolute shocker. But they probably did have healing balms and herbs and an me more than a balm I talk us through it Jhn becausecause I'm gonna need a kist and I need morphine So what's the message there? Well, there's several messages. I think the first message is puff your chest up and have an opinion. No some pride. Well, it does relate to have no preference Yeah. so By having no preference, none of those events stressed him out because neither of them were the result he wanted or didn't want Cause We don't know what the sort of the final result. We never know what the end point will be.o told you that Or did you just order No, but I mean, how did you interpret that? Are you told that's what the interpretation or did you work that out from the text? Well, it's clear that that's what it'sing. No no, what's clear to me is it's annoying farmer from thousands of years. It quite little doesn't deserve to have his story told. We'll say for example, to put it in a modern context like It's roll with the punches, isn't it? It's not maybe them as punches. Okay. It's so like say your', um Say in your area where you live, There's three schools, onene really good one. twowo that are really sort of below standard or getting bad offs said reviews And your kid needs to take a test to get to the good school and they They fail the test and they don't get in Right So they go to school in special measures. Yeah, and that's something that stresses an enormous amount of. My daughter's eleven, ye. Yeah. You're saying that if the thing I do If Izzy had said she's failed the test and she's going to a school in special measures, and isn't that bad and I'd said maybe she would have left me. Who knows what the experience of going to a school in special meers?. Has this farmer heard of the term educated guess? No, but who knows what that will go on to? Yes what you know work ethic that might inspire people you get turned around. Schools but also there's a good school near me that was errible ab abouto fifteen years ago, their teachers done them amazingly. So yes, of course. Every single thing that has gone well in my life, I can trace back to an event I thought at the time was an error or a failure or a mistake. Okay. Like, for example, not getting into Oxford the first time, catastrophe. Yeah. A the time, there's no upside to that whatsoever. No. I had to work in a Virgin Megasta and I got a gambling addiction. It It was wall to wall bad Mbe. Exactly. Because now I can know well if that hadn't happened. Yeah, And you wrote a book, you monetized it. I wouldn't have been in the year I was at Uni I wouldn't have met the people I met. Yeah this justuff sends me insane walks in the road.. Well, that's exactly what it's about. It's saying never judge an event as good or bad until you have the longer perspective. and even then you don't know. So like your partner leaves you. Catastrop is the worst heartbreak you've ever had in your life. Yeah. tenen years later, you meet the best person youve ever met or you learn that you are so happy on your own So no one's going to say cheheer up because your partner's just left you, but what you might say is bad outcomes We shouldn't label outcomes bad or good. it's just life happening. Okaykay So let you go about diarrhea? Well, that's saving you from dying. Like if you've got food poisoning, it's getting poison out of your system. Yeah like bit of weight loss ye. And if you hadn't done it in front of that head teacher, then maybe your daughter would have got into the good school that was wrong for her. Yeah Yeah, also if you've got nothing on diary, it could be a bit of a bit of fun. ye feelills today. A how you feeling? That's the second time you've said that in as many ways He's got really strong opinions on the upsides of diarrhea What I find interesting about it is that if I suppose you've got to be ready You've got to be ready to to absorb that kind of parable. So if I'd given you the parable of the farmer to read when you were eighteen and you'd fail to get it on for the first time, and you were going to work in a Virgin Mega store for a year and get a gambling addiction I would like to know how ready you were. Yeah to accept that piece of wisdom. Very true. And it come I think it probably comes from experience of that also the farmer' not lost any time to sort of self criticism or Instagram or like depression or Instagram. He's not wasted any of his time So say you had say your horse runs away And you have like a week of just throwing your arms up and staying in bed all day and, you know, woe is me. You probably more do more damage in that time to your own for people around you. You're just going who knows? There There is one I like it. I'm a big fan because I think it takes a lot to be like that. That's a very strong person who's managing to just roll with those Well circstance. But it's a lack of strength. it's acceptance. Yeah. But yeah So There's gonna be some houses built under bit of green Bal Ner' Hannah is livid because it's going to drive the house preises down. It actually nearly meant that Litha couldn't get into the good school because the boundaries were. What is the good school? It's the one that's the fourth best comprehensive school in the country. Yeah But what does that mean? It means She might hate it. Well, she might do. But let me gets the point. It might be too much stress, it might be too much pressure, it might be too big. she might have an allergic reaction to the uniform. Okay, you never know. But Hannah and I'm a bit I don't think I'm a million miles away from that guy. I am a bit maybe at times and Hannah's like, you're not liivving about this? Well, who's have a bit of fury? I have a bit of passion. So if you're always going, ye, but you know, who's going right? It's going to bekay. That can be quite infuriating for someone else who's It's funny when' anding. who's that helping? It's not stopping a single brick being laid The anger I w o, she sign a position Because anger alsoso. But sign the petition without the anger. You could still have opinions on stuff. Yeah What's interesting is if sometimes it can be very irritating If a loved one is not on the same emotional wavelength as you. Yes. Like I remember a friend of mine She's lovely and she had a really lovely extremely laid back Boyfriend, like an incredibly chilled out guyy and she was very pretty and so So men would flirt with her all the time because she was attractive And he never cared because was he wass like a probably like surf dude and also probably inwardly quite confident. And I remember she told me when she said, I wouldn't mind if you got a bit jealous every now. she wasn't going out there and swiss him for it. It's just that it would happen because she was pretty. Obvious what's happening. And then he'd be like, all right? Yeah. And then he'd be like shaking hands with the guy like, Yeah, this to me. She's like, Be hate him Are they still together? No. See, maybe that's It reflects that actually he wasn't as invested in the relationship as she would have liked. Maybe Yeah, Mbe. I can't say maybe no I know reminding me of an old farmer who's lost his horse comes back with three more hores with three more. Wild horses. Yeah ye. That's a problem No, not when the son's taming them before breaking his leg, which keeps him out of the army A You often say You don't like a big gifts because you've go to such a small house And one phrase you've used once, which I think about all the time is that you'ven't given me a gift, you've given me a problem. now I need to dispose of this thing So Tomorrow I'm going have a hundred shoeboxes of stuff sent to your house. and then I when you receive it, I would the delivery driver say this is a problem, mate, for you to say M. Mbe. I'm going get your big bean bag. Maybe. Maybe,, maybe. Yes. Good. Well, there we go and I think we also, I mean, if this was to turn into a feature, it's gott to be called common sense, hasn't it at this stage? I think it has got to be called common sense L the plicant. got that. Thanks very much indeed. ourur football correspondent John Murray, Ellis and John are coming up. How are you, gentlemen? Very good, thanks, Aden. but I'm going to have to sign out to this because I'm so upset with us, I'm qualified for the Wor Cup Oh yes, let's me in a very bad mood actually. So you've just got me, Adrian, and I hate the World Cup. Well let's not talk. Let's not talk about. I've got a question for you both. Do you know anybody with very small hands Yes, but I'm not not a child of them justust Iy why because I bought my mom some new rubber gloves for the kitchen. That's a terrible idea and a bad present and have you ever had that? No, not it wasn't a present Jas me for some. And I went and got them and I'd bought extra, extra small. My mom was not a large woman, but she said She swore at me terribly, Croatian and said, this is you could a newborn I couldn't get the hands into these and I've got extra extra small marry gooldals and I've don't want to throw them away. So who just don't know anyone to him. So if you hear of anybody,'ve we'd like some extra small marry gos, could you use them to sort of impersonator chicken fill them with water and use them and paint a face on them and use them to distract a child. I know. Yeah we can all go around to Adrian's house and they have like a pool party and they use them as water bombs. Yeah. Yes Yes, that's an idea. what Before we get the the boooks in case you get caught short onn the for wouldd be no good was they? because because they're just too small. Really? Oh say caught short in that way. I see what you meanant.' let's not go there anyway, look we can fo them but get caught short. Well I thought I don't know what I meant. justust look, I started this so I will bring it to an end. Any other matters? Look, if you know anyone's got small hands, just tell them I'll send them those marry goolds free of charge. pay the postage and everything You enjoying the heat? I don't know if either of you are down as hate. I get it love it because I find the winter so miserable when it then is eventually warm. I just feel a so chillish to complain So I can talk myself into delivering it. John absolutely detests it because he got sunstruck in Thailand in nineteen ninety eight and he never got over it Al friend, okay. Well, you take care, get your um I've got the little amolive thing up in the windscreen of my car already to stop my d getting too hot E while you're driving Right everyone, do keep sending in your mad Dads and your shhame wells to hello at Ellisonjohn. com because we haven't done those for a while. We'd like to bring them back. But we have exciting news. Ring fenced news. Ring fenced news. You don't need to say that. No, it's Dave's ring fenced section D definitely call it that we need a jingle operation ring fence. Operation ring fence. Because this is for non sounds listeners only But our new adventure has landed. No, no, it's not. Yeah, it's not no we're announcing what the next advent it had already been announced on Patreon? Yes, this announcement. So we're just repeating what has happened on Patreon today. is this not going to be a ring fence section the ring fence section. This is going to come next Friday and this is to announce what's it is that we're doing building Patreon Also for the people who are on Patrons. what I should have said was for those of you not on Patreon and not on BBC Sounds, here's some exciting news He just don't need to say any of that. just Just offer the exciting news of what the next adventure is Our most recent adventure is coming soon. Yes, this time next week. It'll be out next Friday. Annoying is No, It's a nice little It's a pre People like to know what's come in because they invest in you too on your excursions so actually to give them a bit of a heads up of what the next one is.' going to a wetland centre We you got a week to think about it still have big greebs Aas you've got a week to think about it. I do, Dave..' been invested in us, Dave. Good news is the next adventure after a cracking Croyden Mi Olympics. Yes, after a heartfelt run around Cormorant. The London marathon, we are going bird watching. Yeah and to wet your whistle even more going to tell you which wetland center it is Could be Slenbridge. So you could just be gu, it could be Flesleie Wetland Cent. Could be Lesleie Wetland Center, Dave. We recorded it a couple of months ago, actually. It' in the bag. and it was lovely. and it's got an element of gone fishing about it, I'd say, in the vibe and. let that be a subtext for the commommissioners. Okay, come on, Dave. You know they're listitting and ignoring us We're going to be national treasures by the time they see me attack that swan Soes, Bird was kicked his right was all? Yes, he kicked its head right off his body he was worried it was going to break his arm whichich might or might not be have been a bad thing, depending on whether National Service came back There's yeah, there's some very funny lines in it Also one of it's one of the few adventures that I in my personal life will continue to repeat for years to come because obviously my son loves going bird watching. Does Betty love birds? No, but she'll come with us. but she's not it's not her thing No, but u so yeah, like I will never do another pentophlon, I don't think Oh I got a real taste for them. I've joined my local pentathlon society. But I will be going bird watching again. So yeah, it it was a lot of fun and exciting that even I've got a whole seven days just to consider how much fun it is going to be to invest and continue to invest in us. It was good. Pigeon nearly flew into my head. Caroline was lovely. Yeah, donon't do spoil us, Dave Grief man. All right, a type of bird nearly flew into my head. Yeah. and someone tuning in to see what type of bird was nice. And someone beginning with C. It was nice. was nice. So that's up on Patreon in a week you can subscribe on there. is if that is if that if that is your wantont But we can't say goodbye here in the ring fence because we need to say goodbye to people on sounds. We could say goodbye to twice because what do you do? you go goodbye by Goodbye If you want to watch it, head to patreon dot com forward slash Ellison John and slash many other wonders there, including behind the scenes footage of a Taskmaster football game. Yes