Listener Stories and Closing Remarks

Hello everyone, The Ellison John cinematic universe is now available to all. Yes, head to patreon dot com slash Ellison John for Lords of extra content, including our brand new film series The Adventures of Ellis and John, fully visualised podcast episodes twice a week and behind the scenes bonus content. So to watch shows, get ad free episodes and come on adventures with me, Ellis and Dave Patreon d. com slash Ellison John. Hello everyone, another week, another audio industry thoughts seminar led by Ellison John We're in high demand for our unique insights gathered from twelve years of digital broadcasting be it how to come up with new and engaging formats, or the CCTV blind spots where you can vape in the BBC. Or how to advertise fuse energy without sounding like you're grieving Blowing the minds of industry movers and shakers at South By in Shordditch, it was up to Britain's content capital Manchester for a meet and greet organised by Clotted Panda. But there's one thing you can't replicate through vertical integration or dynamic placement Good old fashioned face to face Alice and I boarded the midday train for some rare time alone, and it was clear from the outset that both of us were fizzing with ideas for the future of podcasting. And a good job too. A spending the journey, idly scrolling through our phones would have been impossible due to the thirty seconds of five G available across the two and a half hour journey. It is inse As we sat down, Ellis was first to get the creative juices flowing These tables have wireless charges. What about wireless podcasts? What do you mean? I said? Get Dave to look into it, Ellis replied, handing me an iPad and Bluetooth stylus Our next light bulb moment came from the limitations of onboard Wifi and the landscape of the West Midlands. I erected my travel whiteboard. Wi Fi cows. M Wiifi masks tied to herds of free range cows, tagline and poop. Improve your range with range on the range The ball was now well and truly rolling. Ellis closed his eyes Podcasts podcasts, podcast for farmers. I'm thinking Vernon Kay, I'm thinking Desert Island crops. I'm thinking sponsorship from John Deere, Big pesticide and the egg board. I sent a voice note to Clare and at Japflack Media They'll have a pilot by Wednesday luggage racks for headphones. John, it's perfect, it's done. I love you Okay, Patreon inspiration alert. We wear GPros on our heads and visit every boots in Wolverhampton Alice, it's perfect. it's done and I love you. I've messaged Dave on Slack and he's typing It's tick, tick tick, three ticks from the master Blaster As the attendant placed our complimentary coffee and shortbread on the table, I jumped from my seat The rest is politics nude at the O two John, it's perfect. it's done. I love you. We stared at each other. The electricity crackled and we both said in unison, Podcast live aid. Weembley Stadium, Adam Buxton opens and then flies on Concorde to LA. ten hours of podcasting using a revolving stage, as news agents are on and Wolf and Owl are striking their set, my therapist ghosted me at tuning up John, who's our queen? Who's our podcasting supergroup Katherine Ryan, Christian and Guru Murthy, Rob Beckett and Mary Beard John, it's perfect, it's done. I love you. What about security? We both said in unison, NordVPN beforefore laughing and laughing and saying we loved each other again. That's what it was like. So many ideas. We were physing. it was hard. Two hours on the way up with zero five G Yeah obviously the onboard White Fighter's mook Yeah Just Ia Aeddon, which is what I kept referring to it. we should have actually xt you because we have commissioned two hundred new podcasts for significant It's quite pricey. Sorry, Dave, o, but we think it's going to work out. And everyone's on a guarantee of five grand an net. Sorry, Dave. Okay.. It's on you too as well. so we'll take the risk together. That's one million pounds a week. Yeah, Mate this is on board though Yeah? That like a talent fee, Dave. So it's looking at two Millanol in So's a hell of a journey the wiFi. You've just got to accept that there is nothing. Wh not That's not the motto for Britain. Hold on, you've just got to accept there's nothing. This is your maybe parable, but just for WFi generation. U Maybe. the Wi Fi. Of course because the fact that it is impossible to get five G outside of a heavy populated city and even there You know, you're in the devil's hands. I got five G at the top of every single alp and yet not in Rickmanssworth. Yeah How is that possible? Also they'll tell you that you've got three bars of Wiifi. You aven't got three bars of w got three bars fe. That's what you got. It is awful. However, I did like the fish and chip pie we had on board more than I expected because it doesn' sound like something you'd like. It sounds horrendous, but you chuck enough tartar sauce on it and it becomes fantastic. Chuck enough tartar sauce on anything savory and it's gonna be better. And again, just so we arrived in Manchester Piccadilly. I love Manchester. Everyone always knows that then we walked to the venue, which was over a mile away John strading ahead Obviously thought it'd be a lovely twenty three minute walk. and I got, you know halfway. Wen't that yet. I thought it was a ten minute walk. Dave and me you know, sort of picking up the rear. every time we walk past the nightclub, Dave would say something like, I got pushed down the stairs down there. A balaner pushed me down the stairs? Yeah, teasers That's the easies with it It was a like an eighties nightclub. It wasn't a strip, It was not a strip joint, but it was like scantily clad girls dancing on bars and you got pushed on the sil. Itounds like a strip club, he D' know, what do you think a strip club is? No, a strip club is. I got glassed in there. No, I didn't get glassed in there. Complete the sentence a strip club is, Dave without using the term scantily clad women dancing on tables Well instead That's the difference notot a stage, just the bar that's in the bar. like the bar where you get served drinks every now and then for certain songs Girls get on the girls get on the bar Scantly clad, not nude Right And a little d. What a strip club is strip Clubs I'm led to believe go a bit further than they go fullyak. They'y nude, but but they're stripping from one state to another. But there is a very subtle difference. I I I believe. I just stri that I believe. We went to that club tonight ye and were to explain that subtle difference perhaps to Hannah Do you think she would accept the subtleties of the difference? O or do you think she'd say you've been to the strip club and you're in the spare room? No because you'd say Alice took off his dunim jacket and makes him look like Jimy Corkill to wear just a t shirt. He's been stripping Yes, exactly, but to be clear, not in a strip club, just in a bar that has scantily clad people in peopleople is it now? I just thought that might help. I don't know does that help? But were there men? No, No, there you go. likeike in a Strip club. I was eighteen you got pushed on the stairs but you were all right I don't need just this guy out a guy took it Ple didn't like me before you hours down the stairs. actually as I got kicked out I cried. but not not not through how much it hurt just through anger. They didn't show that on Booz Britain binge Nation three or whatever Iag the sensitive director's cut where's in tears all the time. What aaze cutter. Bulllly army? you right. she's what I got kicked out for. I started to cry and I went home. Oh I' cried' nice up for ages. No, I've nots to be fair thatty four. So, yeah, We're pretty big in the conference scene, Dave. We are at the minute. The headline is at confonferences. Yeah. mad. Well it's good. this is the kind of thing we're getting up to now. Yur dream sponsor was Lamborghini. You say That was an error. That was an error becausecause they weren't in the room. No that's not gonna to happen, is it U I also wouldn't sit to Lamborghini and I wouldn't want one because I have to park it on the street. You know, if I've had a big like massive drive and a sort of an aircraft hangar like Jerry Seinfeld, but no, Yeah, so if you listening Lamborghini, no thanks. I think Hannah would be as annoyed with me if I had into a strip club come home with a Lamborghini. Be it's not if it was a free lambghini. It's not practical. She would say send it back Even if it was free, sell it Yeah, she's sel un vinted. Can you sell cars onint? She's seemingly selling everything else on there, so ye, you could probably get away with it. People are big inter vinted. Oh Hannah is in and out of that. like she's buying and selling Bies. If you go on the website, you become addicted. Is like crypto for normal people? Yeah. Well, we've normal people who like jumpers We've just stopped Lilla's next phase of her wardrobe for free because we've literally just so sold her previous Hey, that's really a wardrobe. Yeah, it's unbelievable. If Izzy's very rarely on her phone, but if she is, it's vinted, it's mad G Brand New brand new tags. I went to Chesington World. No, I'm not gonna to say that. I went to a theme park on Tuesday. Yeah No, it could be any them. It could be Chesington World of No I could be Chesington World of Wonders. I went to Redacted World of Adventures. Why are you Wh are you like If it rains heavily, it's not a great day out. That's not on Chestingon, it? hold on.re we naming it? or do you not want us to?' not going to's a W worldld of adventure. It that talk about you getting chucked out of a strip club? It' really the vibe. Very very there's very little room to shelter and if there's a threat of lightning, they close all the rides. That's every theme park though. That is every theme park Including reducted World of Adventures. Including redacted World of Adventures. Yeah. So did it rain a lot? It hammered down and I was looking after year six on a What A you a teacher now? No, does he does the school they ask for parents who are available to help on these trips. It's very good of you. So it was my daughter's in year six, so we went to Chessington And yet again It's a popularity contest I won because I'm going up to kids I've known since ear threeing Should we ditch this and just go for a frame of snooker? And they loved it last fun. Is it Chestington World of Refunds in the Rin? U Interesting to say that my daughter's written a letter of complaint and it has been sense because there was one ride they really wanted to go on And they queued for half an hour and they were next on And then there was then there was a Thunder clap. And I was like, Sorry everyone, lightightning's forecast. We're closing the ride. So then we all tried to look for somewhere to shelter The rain stopped to the roller coaster. they couldued for half an hour. they were next on. and there was more but than that. And then they closed the ride again But that would happen at Oen Twers. That would happen at Wood Park. That would happen at No L W Valley Akward RIP. That would happen at Disneyland, Florida. It' a is another thing U It was a river rapids ride whichich actually got better in the rain There was we were queuing up for that and there was a woman She was on with her daughter and she got absolutely soaked like everyone does in those things And I watched three or four people get soaked and everyone's laughing their heads off. And I thought But I don't want to go in this ride now, because I'm going to get sockked And if I get absolutely soked at ten to eleven in the morning and I'm going to be wet for the rest of the day. That's a catastrophe for. Yeah. And everyone was like, oh, this is great. No no. I was like what are you do? Like in the summer if you're wearing your sort of bard shorts and a light t shirt and you've got clothes in the hotel. And if it's attached to the vent. And if it's you get from there by a chauffeur in a shower. And if it's thirty degrees and're going to dry off I agree, but it it was Imagine having a damp undernder carriage all day. All day in Britain. Yeah. And then the trim's broen. We're not gonna turn this country around with damp undernder carriages aw. Absolutely not. Gordon Brown. Isn't doing talks to the World Bank with a damp undercarriage because he's been on a river raapids, right? It's like when Rishi Sunak announced that he was standing to be Prime I't remember what he was He was actually shred in the hammer he was under an umbrella. But there was' no umbrellas. he just got really wet and then his suit was glinging to him and he looked deaf And then that's the one thing you don't want in a prime mininister's daft. You can't look daft. And then and then I took a small group we peeled off because it was raining and they didn't want to go on one of the dead dead scary rides. And I said, I know you're too old for this, but let's go on the Gruffalo ride Because A we're indoors and B, you know, they might close things because of the lightning, they're definitely not going to close the Guffalo and it gets us out of the rain. We got wet on the gruffalo right? How Because at the end you're splashed. Wh? This she just h I thought thought the Guffalo spills his coffee on you. was that at the end of the road? Wash did coffee And I still I hate being wet This is rubbish But it's still nice to go up to kids who are love for the city if you had to go for a pint. That was good fun Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. You still in a catchphrase or something? U Ellice, it's funny that you should speak about attractions It's funny that you should speak about The best of Britain. Oh I don't like this. It's funny that you should speak about school trips Sil I can but up my pants pulled down in front of hundreds of people. Remember that we love you. A it's thousands. Just remember how much we love you and how much we're here for you. We love you Eice. We do What have I done? No you've done nothing, but no, we love you E. hate We do. We love you Eice. We do Have we got a surprise for you We got a little surprise for you, Ellice. A a pretty big surprise actually. What was it? You found Semex at my house. Have you ever heard the phrase months of planning Oh no, no. Well I have and it's never good. Have a millennium dome. Yes. HS two. Yes. It's bigger Have you ever heard Thirirstday? No punched me in the stomach. No you wish. Have you ever heard the phrase coordinated attack Have you ever heard the phrase shock and aw? Yeah, more in Afghanistan, more in Iraq? Yeah, so imagine The war in Iraq Cross with Chessington World of Adventures Okay, cararry on, I'm not supporting this one. I don't know how I don't know how you've got here. Dave, I think my decision not to script this has paid off So because I did say biggest the trickiest bit here was the leap from this to the next one. Yeah. And I said, Dave, don't worry, I'll deal with it. I say it's like the war in Iraq meets Chassington World of Adventures, but I said that very quietly under my breath. Well,'s been a it's been a big six months for the show. It's been a huge I haven't anered an email. this happen. I have answer email again. And there's been some huge milestones and growth, hasn't there From what we've done to be proud of. Over the past twelve years, we've all grown Yeah, absolutely. You've got three kids. E has got two kids. I've got six awards. June it's June so June. I don't worry about donon't worry about J weding an, but been It's been a big personal spiritual growth for Ellice James. It has. He's come a long way. Oh, absolutely. I haven't, that's the point. What a journey. He has finally decided to give the people what they want. Yes. Let's hear of the moment that Ellis felt that spiritual progress in his body. On Friday's show, Ellis was beaming because he had made his stand up debut Yes at Always Beconomy in Kenny. Well I'd dust it in twenty fifteen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. he's back. But Josh, you wear our boots on the ground. I've seen him. form twice in twenty four hours. This is shoc and aw. You were there. It came on. D have said it again. it gone well. This is a direct quote We were talking about his t I did I light in the microphone. It's head in hands. It's head in hands ton. I think it's fair for me to say this. I'm tempted to book the Royal Albert Hll, but I'm worried about the split I did say that. I've gone mud. Yes. I should say fifteen minute slots. No, this is the first. one fifteen minute sl will always be comedy. That's funny if that's a joke. No, it wast a great joke. No it wasn't a great joke. Beuse I said, do you think you'd do the palladium? And you said. Ideally I do the royal alcohol, but I'm worried about the financial split. Well, it depends how Saturday Night Live goes saaw something then. So Joining us on the line now is Josh Whittdakam. Hello, Josh Hello Dave. Hello John. Hello, Josh. It's lovely to have you here, Josh. It's always nice for you to join us. And just to take you back to that moment, you still have fond memories of seeing Alice M his cold January night, John And you do it on a cold January night in Kennington, That's what they always say. Well and he could one of the two nights, he certainly did. Hey, um, Yeah, we were stood on the pavement outside a news agent waiting for an Uber And he I can hear those. I just listened to that clip and I can Stand by every word. I I remember exactly as that ye. So Ellis, could you get your phone out please? Why? I don't like this at all. Can you check your calendar please U A you free on? Have you got your calendar up The twenty fourth of march twenty twenty seventeen twenty twenty seven. Yeah. Yeah, it will be. It's a Wednesday night. What does it say in your calendar Betty's going to a Wickaman event Ellice, Betty isn't going to a Wickaman event. Could you delete that please? Okay and replace it with headline Royal Albert Hall. Why are you on a boat? We booked the Royal Albert Hall. No you haven't. Yes and you're performing there. What do you mean We mean that on the twenty fourth of march twenty twenty seven, you will be performing at the Royal Albt Hall For whom? For yourself What Oh my God. Yes. This is official news that Pressureures of privilege will be performing. The show is called Pressures of privilege. How am I doing? march twenty fourth, twenty twenty seven at the Royal Abbott Hall, tickets go on general sale on the twenty sixth of june at ten AM. However, Patreon members will have exclusive access to tickets forty eight hours before general sale. They'll be available to our Patreon members on the twenty fourth of June at ten AM. Elis. Do you want to see the poster? What Oh my wor be right There's the postight. Ellis James, Pressure is a privilege. What' happen For O night only with John Robins and Dave Masteran live from the Royal Albert Hall. They can't be but no was asked me. No, we don't ask you Ellis. We don't ask you these things. Wh are you asked to do it? gick It's you at the Royal Albert Hall. got twenty minutes. Josh, what are your takes? What are your? a few takes? You've got a few takes. Firstly, I think as a man who was worried initially about the split of the fee. Well I haven't got to that bit yet. Eice must be kicking himself that he's splitting his split three ways Let's not get into detailed analysis of the we. That's why That's why Royal Al all. I've done three He was already annoyed that he was having to split O seeds with the Royal Ab all themselves. Slit it with you and D How have we muscle our way in I know. He was presuming he should get one hundred percent of the night. He's getting thirty three percent. thirty three percent quite a bud split. Okay The Royal Albt and this is actually something I did want to mention. The Royal Albt hall a unique ticketing system. Yeah, a very strange way of going about it stick it's because of historic Pcedents and traditions. They have members, they have their own pres sales. They've got all sorts going on. Yeah yeah yeah I have I Dave tell people how much I've pushed back on ticket pricing. Oh, John has been a strong voice in the room. But they are more expensive than our tickets usually are just to stop us losing t. So just to be clear, Alice, just to be clear Not only were annoyed about the split of the split, but John's managed to keep the ticket prices down. So any thought of profit seems disappearing further. Ellison they felt it needed to be higher. They didn't make a good amount from the night. We it Ellison the kindness of his heart We should have called it Ellis James' break even Big game takakingen a cannonball to your sales in the surrounding areas of I think When you do. Josh, can we expect you to be amongst the celebs in the corporate boxes? I will barring other things coming in that are more profitable be there. Well this haying you. Yeah, well, exactly. So no, I'll be there, but we I get a corporate? No How Well I also say I admire I know you've got very loyal fans But I admire that you feel People need to be aware that the tickets' go on sale at ten AM to get the Royal Albt Hll to see LS James. I think they'll still be there by midday. How dare you. Surprise, Josh How. How dare you. We've got a very We've been talking at several podcasting events about the importance the importance of community. Yes. We have a wonderful community around this show Really hope ome together. All if need. We're excited to see Alice perform at the Royal Albert Hall. Alice, Any words? any questions? Well, I've only got twenty five minutes. I've got an hour in Welsh You've got in nine months. A yeah. But you first half, it's classic Ellis John and Dave Okay, it's a show. It's a show. It's a big show. It's a big gig. The room is insane Yeah, well, I did off manyen of there. Yeah. So I've been in I've performed at the Royal Alb at all, but How did you do financially out that one? Absolutely completely sissed. Yeah Get up for that and James. in their golden castles. Yeah All right thenen second half. Obviously there's the tension begins to grow Oh yeah. There'll be a little bit of business, I'm sure between the three of us. But then it's spotlight. It's focus It's please welcome to the stage in this shiny little suit Alice James And then then you have your moment. Oh. It twentyies two straighted under. twenty to thirty All you feel comfortable? forty Yeah forty Josh. fifty What in fifty twenty to thirty of of. English language cannot stress that enough. Yeah St up to headline the Royal Albert Hall. Oh my Godd You will say thank you. I. Obviously I mean thank you. It's just such a surprise. As a stand up, John, you must be thinking this. Thank God, it's not me. Yes thank God, I could vape in the wings Oh I imagined you and Dave would be sat there at this were like like the panel on them. Scott Twer, not. withith our backs to him and big buzzers like on the wors. I think the interesting bit of the night, you, Alice, possibly the most challenging is the gear shift. And the res And the refunds. which I am in charge of. But the good news, Alllice, is that the royalll will be taking a large split of the money you're giving back. So you're not having to give it back all out of your old own pocket It's going to be a gear shift. It's a bit like that bit at the start of Brit Scott talent where you do a bit of chat and then they say now get on with your act. And now youre going have you're going to be doing charming chat all night And then you're going to walk off and then you're going to walk on and pretend you've just stumbled into an anecdote about the rats in Southeastia. Yeah Don't give my material the wor. sorry. Well, you've got nine months I've got nine months to write a really good twenty. Yeah Which in Jers was eighteen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what will happen, I would imagine is twenty minutes into the second half, we will give you some time some space to go away Maybe go to the low, little pregig nerves. Yeah. To do that thing you always do where you take a sip from a bottle of water and hold it in your mouth for ten seconds and then swallow it because you need to have your moments of a little bit a shadow boxing. A little shadow boxing. ye. Google a cl And then the lights go down Good grief. A they gonna be great. The phrase is baited breath. Absolutely, finely poised The chest has gone hot. Oh, because of excitement and dis gratitude. Thisust doesn't not it on the night out the poster. Poster, like, listen, I know that I tend to take a back seat when it comes to organizing things Youre not in the car you youre at home maybe in a caravan attached to the back as sleep. I I'm asleep in the caravan a touch to the car where things are being discussed It is a is a big' a big obl sh. It's not on the running order. just as anecdotal and is to do Cumary connections. This is instead of Cumary this week. Cumary falls, by the way s. I're not even doing a Cumory. Sorry, you've not got that as a bangle of wheels Well, okay, good. I'm looking for it's an amazing.s Josh, you must have done it lots of times throughlla all. Not that many. I've done a couple of charity gigs though. Yeah. Have you ever done a solo show there Now I haven't. now I don't like the split. Comics have done the Royal Alb. Rus How Howard has done a lot of times I don't know. I saw craft like there. I stuck on the by in there. Isn't the teenage Cantatrskig go while alhol. Do you know what, Alice? saw I saw the rest is history at the Royal Albt Hall and they absolutely ripped it. So I think it's there for the taking.. Oh, it's going to be great. So one off. one night only. Ived I loved him. They did a very funny joke, Ellis. Wh they Yeah, where they said in part to, In part one, we'll be discussing the life of Mozart and in part two, we'll be discussing the part of The life of Beethoven But you can get that part now if you remember the fan Club, which was a lovely b. good study. It erupted, Alice. It erupted Rrice it down, Alice. come to the Rice it down. The the rest is history is gar. Okay, so You know, no shade on the rest is history, but their tickets did go to two hundred and thirty five pounds a person. So that's o my God. yeah Let be very clear on that. They had a full fifty piece orchestra way Bring your guitar Oh yeah, they did have a Chsaikovsky and Wagner production. Okay. We've got a light box. Okay, feeles like their ticket price is now actually more justifiable than our. Oh. Oh my God. If I write a comedy song, I could say I've I've played music. Now he's on board. Here here we go. the other one. I can do cover of Hey Jude Okay then Pul McCartney can come on. Okay be with me, rightight? When need hide together? Haveard his new album? No But I am going to I am going to a Q and A of his. Are you the Romos? ye, nice. Soy. there we go Folk, that's absolutely massive for me. This is happening. this is massive. tickets go on general sale on the twenty sixth of june at ten AM. Patreon members will have exclusive access to tickets forty eight hours before general sale. They'll be available to our Patreon members on the twenty fourth at ten AM Go to patreon. com forward slash Ellison Joh to find all the info. but only those signed up to our patreon on the twenty fourth of June will have early bird ticket access. And then we have got a bit a little bit of a special ad haven't we? Do you want to go straight to that? yes, a little official advert for you Hey you. Are you back Have you recently taken up an old hobby and immediately overreached? Maybe you're an amateur watercolourist who created a passable image of a friend's brother in law and immediately made a call to the National Portrait Gallery Maybe you reacquainted yourself with journaling and have the out of office replies from Fabre, Penguin, and Harper Collins to show for it. Did you do a step over at a middle aged fiber side game before calling your friend who works in sports data to see if he knows any scouts at Everton Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. If this sounds like you, then come to the Ellis James Preressure is of Privilege Huis Special. Join four thousand others to watch as Ellis sees if a half remembered story about Cardiff Airport told to forty people at Britain's easiest gig, translate to the most astic stage of Me Entertainment Ellison John, Pressure is a privilege is the show for anyone who's ever thought What if it's not too late? What if I am the best? And why not risk losing tens of thousands of pounds, your pride and the respect of your peers in the process? Pounds, pride, peers, process. Pressure is a privilege Tickets toickicorus Live are on sale to Patreon members the twenty fourth of June and on general sale from the twenty sixth of June. For early access to tickets, sign up at patreon. com forward slash Ellison John. There we good that. A like. very funny Well, thank you for joining us Josh J Jos. What have you got going on, mate Oh I'm ill, I'm going back to bed. Oh thank you for coming that. Oh it's all right. and then I've got Exeter Comedy Festal but I'' it tonight because it's the it's the big weekend in Exeter for comedians. Is it So I'm doing Exer Comedy Festival. Nish is coming around in a minute. Fantastic. I saw Nish the other day recording an episode of How Do you Cope, which will be outside I day. You did actually John, Yeahah. that was lovely. And congrats. on the big kig Josh, obviously Oh, thank you, Dave.. Where do you le? Which one of you's gonna come on first? Ellice I think Dave if Ellis goes on strictly C you imagine? Josh, what in with your business and your prorofessional head on What percentage chance do we have of getting Ellis on street? Terrible answer. Similar to the percentage he's getting when I I think I ever six U notot currently, but obviously, you know I have the ability to send a text to the exec that gets ignored. Yeah. No, I think, you know, what you need, you need to be a BBC name. mayaybe that would be helpful for it is Yeah. You need to have charm And a willingness to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Yeah Yeah you got that. He's willing to be push himself within his comfort zone. definitely. You need to be physically fit. Yes, Tick. Okay. I think He's got all you need to have young children that might be impressed by it Joshas Has his name been mentioned at any level? Well, I'm not in those I'm not in those meetings. Youre not in those rooms. I'm not in those rooms, but I'm I could I could put his name forward. Yes, please. Yeah,. Can you put it forward in a slightly bigger font than everyone else's? My worry would be Has he got three months to spare when he's got the nine month countdown? What's that L Yeah count down to the Royal Albert Hall. Oh, of course, yeah. I think he's about to have a panic attacks. I think we should the quest the question is, Dave, would he would he last the full three months I know he would I think would Do you think? I he would. He's quite a good mover, isn't he? Oh, absolutelyly. Can you imagine things up very slowly? His enormous bum and size in one of those tight pair of Spanish tls. yeah, people would love it Alllice, who are you dressing us for movie week U Travis Spickles from Taxi Dver. What about icons wee No Galica. icons Wek Mount in Monroe hes got it. He's got the comedic tou. Halloween. Halloween. Halloween, it's got to be Kruger or a sexy cat I think it' be good. You're enttering your dreams in a nice way Maybe Kruger enters a dream where he gets he sort of falls in love doing nice dr. How about Yeah, so the dance starts and, you know, But Nancy is asleep in the bed and she wakes up and then in through the window dances Ellice Ch charing as Freddy Kruger Josh, this is box office. This is the come G getm me play in a red and black jumper. Yeah. So thanks, Josh. Thank for. I' put him for. I'll say hes doing the Royal Abt also so it must be a big now. Yeah. Exactly. Brilliant stuff. Right. There we go, B news here on the show, huge. Check out the socials. cheheck out the socials, cheheck out Patreon, check out the whole world of Ellison John to get your tickets. Pressure is a privilege live, but I think we should now play a made up game Right then, everyone, has a lovely grin on his face. I think you're quite excited about it. Yeah I am excited. I just need to read twenty pages of my cycling book to calm down. because My heart rate is much higher than it usually is. I'm glad that this is how it's landed because there was a genuine concern ' I must have texted Izzy three or four times across the last five months. Whats his mood. Are you sure this is gonna be you know him best When this when this is revealed, will he just be absolutely livid and actually not want to do it? Oh no, I'm never going to be liid. N not livid, but I know that you don't like surprises. I really genuinely dislike surprises, which is why they work so well on the show because John loves to surprise me because he rumps up this smirk from about five minutes before he tells me what it is. whichich just means your mind plays tricks. So I was like, okay, I'm getting divorced live in the show And you know I'm getting served by divorce papers for content and it's going to make the cara And So John, we would do test results and I'm really ill. We got the CCTV. We hired a private investigator. and Yeah, so that's all to look forward to. Nice stuff stuff in the diary, isn't it? Oh' nice to keep busy. Youve got plans for twenty twenty seven? forty seven in twenty twenty seven Yeah, but it I'll be forty six when I do the gig You' have played the Royal Albbert Hall before you're fifty. Awesome. How cool is that? I se certain just toleay at the Royalbber Hall. Never think L Reed there.ew. Ceen is there All huge events C an ideas sp play roll alcohol. Yeah, they did one of the u teenage. I no, it was ten years of St Jude the debut album. When I did the off menu gig there Backstage is amazing at the roll of Ball. Yes. and it is big of free stuff U Not a huge bag of sugar. I would imagine there's twoabags notck around. Yeahah. But there's like the amount A will give me some sugar. The amount I too much sugar in my bagester and I just tore open all of the little sashets and poured them into my sugar pot I felt good I thought you're going gonna just ate them. No. But the amount of Hyper mega legends play like global hypermgal HMLh. It is crazy. It's the I'd say it no disrespect to the palladiums of this world and the Hammersmith of p, but I would say it's the venue, is it not? I think they're all together. Do you? Yeah. veryery diplomatic. stuff Let's play M of game Okay, let's have one more spin of Etienne's fantastic jingle. Here we go. M game Met up with our friends and s to for al Wh readyight tr? didid whoever b this feature get right? Pase don't send any h set or yourers loses head and Jon will prioritize No the good content was my gu but I let's find out two d I love that. Yeah, it feels good, isn't it? It's just Fer Alby Road. To me, it just it's getback. It's the Beatles on Savil Ro. It's Crosby Stills Nationalng. Eating Marmite sandwiches with lettuce. U Yeah, Ill tick it over George Allllison, but yeah, well I can't and won't. I'll just say u because that's disgusting. Dave, you have an egg. sccores on the doors Ellice marked a welcome return to the guessing scene this time last week.. Yes. Yeah, I guess the amount of crisps people eat. Oh yeah, I was still thinking about Walmart If you mentioned Walm up again, I'll pull out of the Royal old.ell you something I do want to mention No is consistent failures in the management of made up games. Yeah becausecause taxi dririver didn't win an Oscar and I would have won that round. But you won the game. I don't care, doesn't care. So how are these things happening? Is it a practical joke being played on me What's going on? Michael's got a lot on his plate. He does, but let's so listeners and it's very good of them, they send in full games. So it's on us. we should have double checked. We should have checked. We should have double checked Or checked That we should have single checked. ye It should have been the old single checker, the classic single check, cllassic, you know cursory glance. 'ause when ono stuff like Mastermind When they come up with a question, do They do a single check on the answer. They do. Yeah. And I would imagine they don't use Wikipedia on Mastermind, but I do think Wikipedia would have sufficed in this case. Oh I checked Wikiped. I did a single check on Wikipedia. Wikiped confirms that taxi driver didn't win any Oscars None at all. None at all. I'm surprised that. It was busy week. I imagine mastermind I've you know, five or six research is knocking about. You're not allowed use Wikipedia as It's going to be a published book, I think. Do it? Yeah, orr some really old encyclopedia. Okay. Michael old enncyclopedia. So we're just have we done single checks on this week's made upp game? Vibes are plenty this week. Checks are not needed apart from my judgment. Okay. So we're right. We will, of course, we will be rigorous and diligent this point forwards you won last week's game The vict Alice did you. The victory man Alice took the first this wee's game the crrisp. Crispy were crisp. I tell you one thing though, this is something for Statman Ross to take into account the eras. No don't Wh? Well you just They're affecting the scores. Yeah. And every minute, they seem to be rife Busy times. H Rife is the word. Rife is the word. is the word is the word. The victory meant Alice took the first game so now leaves one million games in the third set John leading to loveving set still This week's game comes in from Ishan Hi sporty Bys with the biggest festival of football about to kick off in Canada, Mexico and the US in a few daysakesense. in a few days time. That makes so much sense when you say it out loud America and Mexico. Whes across the borders. It' lovely really? Have you any idea how big those countries are. Wales has qualified We heard games I think it was in Toronto, LA. How many waleses between Mexico and Canada would you say? Multiple Multiple Wales More than one With the Wld Cup about to kick off in a few days, I thought it would be fun to send in a World Cup game for you to play. It's called What's Up with the World Cup The ticket prices It was res sort of transit prices to get to the Met Life stadium Yeah. I remember you playing a great game around the twenty twenty four Olympics where you used your massive brains to solve hypothetical problems around the game's organization and execution. So I propose you dust off those big brains Once more and do the same for the World Cup each assume your previous roles as heads of consulting agencies, Robins and Robins and KPM James. lovely Can it be Robins, Robins and Robins Well, this is what you called yoursel last time. So you were assuming' ro. Recently I brought my son on board And he's a whiz with the Yeah, great All right then Robins and Robins and Robins. Robins Robins Robins,'s Jan Robbins, is he? Yes.. Which are you Middle Robin? Whos the first Robins? It's just a coincidence. Ian Robins. Yeah. Oh you could bring Robin in? Is it Robin Robins and Robins? No, he would hate it too much pressure Uh he could be a silent partner U He could do that are jingles. He could. That might be useful for this game. It be Business Jingles. Okay. and my business jingles for KPM James. KPM James? madeade by the lovely Daurey Finy. Great. It's your task to solve problems set out to you by the World Cup Deliverance Organization, the WCDO, AKA Dave You'll have three you'll have three scenarios and there'll be a point awarded for each round, whoever I think best saves the World Cup and ensures it runs smoothly enough so England can win it. Um, well Remember as head of the World Cupplland, Delliverance organisation, Dave will have to think about all aspects of the answer. So there's feasibility, there's appeal, all the sort of stuff that will come from the vibe of the solution Enjoy the game, Ishan. Round one and you can scribble and obviously have a bit of time as well. We're not expecting you just to you know blurt out answer here. There's time to have a little think strategically about what you would want the solution to be here. Scenario one. Did our agent know about the role at Hll? I need to talk to you about that. That's hilarious. I've already spoken to them about it. Okay. you're happy. We're can have zoom I the only my way out Yeah, my wife kn what my agent knew and I'. Round one. Oh no! The night before the tournament, a new FIFA regulation against animal cruelty has come into effect, meaning that England can no longer have three lions on their crests Your brief, create a new badge for the England team that better reflects the modern country we live in So you've both been asked and tasked with creating a brand new crest for our brave boys. As we head to the USA, Mexico and Canada World Cup I've never seen someone so excited about a World Cupers producer Michael, by the way. He brings it up on every meeting we're on. It's amazing So Robins, Robbins and Robins. Punker down in a meeting room. KPM James is actually designing one, which fine I know Wace. I don't know W this is drawn I've got to design New England bud. Yeah, yeah yeah. But I mean when I say design, obviously for the sake of audio, the best way will be to explain it. I love that you're doing. I love that you're doing our compion just on a workout. Of course Okay. Okay, I'm ready. All right, the two teams I busy, I've been busy in meetings and zooms and brainstorms. KPM James, what are you bringing to the table for the pitch? Have you seen the England squad announcement video? No. You have it. Okay. It's been very big on social media. The one with John Lenon at the beginning. Oh yes, I've seen the yeah, yeah. o. What are you playing No, but it's actually an amazing piece of social media. So it's the squad announcement video of Fngland and the World Cup And it's this two minute celebration of modern Englishness. So it begins with quite a famous interview John Lennon. I think he's in America no, he's not in America because he's been interviewed by a British journalist and they talk to him about Englishness and he says, well, of course we're all jolly Engish, you know, and that was the Part of it was that Beatles and people like Michael Caine were bringing a new kind of working class Englishness to the meet in the sixties which hadn't before So that's my inspiration B there is no lions on the bch What sums up modern Englishness, Chicken shhops warm beer and Stonehenge And on the it's a crest. Yeah. and on the bottom where usually it would say England or you might have the motto some on the Welsh oneers says Gorar Kare just says David Attenburgh. The he's th k he in Latin. but in Latin. David Attenburough So it's Stonehenge is the background because obviously that's continuity. It's been there in Wiltshire for five thousand years Then you've got a big piece of fried chicken and then pints of warm beer around it. But warm beer is actually not true and it's a stereote. All right, then Carlly Yeah, Britain's most popular.r' most popular lager. Be also unless you're writing below it warm beer, no one knows that's warm. And I've just remembered the brief, it's a vegan chicken wing. Which do you can get which is a hand metropolisan. And so next to the chicken wing itself, there's a tiny little V David Atinuroughgh Stonehenge, Vvegan Chicken wings and cararling. Yeah. It's a lovely experience. Yeah living in England. To me, that's what Englishness is Great. Robins, Robbins and Robins. Well, obviously Thepart of the Three lines is going to cause quite a lot of controversy. It is. It's going to give people problem solving a hle to fill. There a better way to maintain some of our chants, some of our most cherished football anthems than replacing the three Lions with the Three Brians Th three brines that sum up the very best of British It's alliterating already, Dave. Yeah. Can I have a guess? Yeah May. cororrect? May is in. He's also agreed to play Bohemian Rhapsy from the roof of all the stadiums throughout the entirety of all the matches. Blessed Blessed, Cluff, correct coffee should be h. He was on the initial list but was taken off The third is Brian E Page, the first British athlete to win a gold medal in the trumpoline Okay. So' sporting excellence.ery nice. It's football now. and it's world famous rock music Britain's best export You can still sing three lines to the tune with three Bryines. Three Bryines on a shirt. Exactly. may still be. Yeah, everything works. thirty years ag it. And the video for the launch video is Brian May with his Red spepecial Hitting a football against a trampoline for ages It explodes when he you played table tennis on your own. But A I could make that work and look really and look pretty good. Brian May I. Brian May I. Hi. It's good. It's a win for John. Are you insane? are you kidding? Are you insane? He's got Brown May on the top of every arena. Hene, modern Britain. Yeah. was about stone? How was there? It continontuity. I was there on New Year's Day There's nothing wrong with henge. I think that That's a fantastic day, out. That's justifiable being in. In the year two thousand BC. It was the only day out. That's history and hereritage. Oh's history. I don't m that. It's history and hereritage. Chicky shots for modern England. But I just think it was all a bit it's all bit harling. for modern England it So you've done really well. Th, donon't worry, Alice, you know Dave, you'll win the next round David Utterbgh, the Crest Yeah, yeah the word is on the bottom Yes, that's what a crest is, Dave Yeah, yeah.' look, I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying FAield Yeah Okay, next round. And John had also thought about the different the varying types of Brian really did highlight the culture, the various cross sections of English culture What more than Stonehenge Chicken shops Carling and David Uton.' I think it's a little bit you're mocking the English culture a little bit. I'm offended Ov that VG was an afterthoughts No, I just showose I'm a fleet footed corporate mind. Round two What the heck On the eve of the tournament, a things a lot of these things happen on Well Well those asss do happen. Yeah, twenty twenty two. It's the eleventh hour. They Blair knew foot and mouth was gonna hit Well twenty twenty two The King of Qatar told FFA that actually he wouldn't allow beer and they had to tell Budwiser that they could only sell non alcoonic lager in all of the beer tents and fanzones. On the eve of the tournament the forty eight nations have met and unanimously decided that penalty shootouts are too cruel a way to decide huge football matches. Some' missed one I agree No more heartache, no more heartbreak for Southgate, no more tears for Aonaldo, no more staring at the ground in disbelief for Beckham You're brief, come up with a new exciting way to decide the knockout matches that end in a draw We need something that will appeal to Gen Z to ensure the younger generation stay engaged the world's favourite sports. Say that last bit again? We need something to appeal to Gen Z to ensure the younger generation stay engaged with the world's favourite sports. So how will this new idea appeal to the youth market? So there's probably not much stonehenge knocking about unless you want to educate I actually would really watch my idea Okay, Alice shuffles his papers with confidence John's still scribbling. Yeah. Okay, so penalty shootouts are out. There are no more penalty shootouts. Robins, Robins and Robins. Yes. How are we deciding these very important football matches? So both teams line up, you know how like when they have their photos taken at the start all in a line but spaced out further one in each half. Yeah. Each player has a ball Keep ups. too the sound of Sabrina Carpenter. comommentary from Taylor Swift and her Kelsey Gam Kelsey Grammer? Yes, for the older viewers. Taylor Swift. It's Travis Cch there as well. Who? Travis Couch. Celch. Is it Cch? Travis Kelsey. Kelsey's not his Cch who I was thinking. Yeah. No, he's not there. can't make. Kelsey Grammar's much of him. Kelsey Grammar And Jimmy Corkill's there. lastast player keeping up wins the World Cup for their team. So eleven players on each side. C point out doing keep up? Can I point out a floor? Well hold on can point out one massive floor. Yeah. The good footballers I know can basically keep the ball up for an infinite amount of time. Oh yeah. there's a video of Phil Fodden doing in dressing room to too win the World Cup. It would take a pressure It would take ages. Well, it's gonna take like how long does the penalty shoot out take fifteen minutes? It would take about fifteen minutes. It could take longer than that. Well then the excitement just grows. E People don't care because Taylor Swift is commentating with Kelsey Grammar from Fraser And we can go even deeper into Sabrina Carpenter's back catalogue. You know who's going to run No they're they're gonna start missing the ball. Yeah M' who I do fancy football leeague with. I mean, he could keep your at peies for twenty five minutes at a time. All right after every five minutes you start firing custard at them. Okay. O hot dogs or hot dogs. hot dogs because it's America. Yeah.. And that can change depending on what country the worldorld Cup' is in. Exactly. It could be tacos. Rat first, sushi. Yeah. So John's in, there's something in there that there's something that changed halfway through, I think, you know, we want the ideas to be fully baked from the gof. Well this is it to appeal to Gen Z, isn't it? Yeah. What are Gen Z like? They're like shping snubppy things, vaping on their phones. The boys like toxic content, are't they? Txic content Andim jacket and By Bckyim jacket.'s Juby Cakers back in and they like sh they like sh. They have short attention spans. Yeah. So like a pounty shootout Each manager nominates his five best players and they've got ten seconds to do their most impressive tricks for an Instagram reel Oh then viewers at home have got a minute to vote and it's an interactivell. So it's interactive. But it's all done very, very quickly because obviously the World Cuub' is going to be played in terrible heat. so you need to get it done quickly and you need to prom us so you can move on to the next. So for instance, Thomas Sooker would nominate Ia Kaisaka as a Ivanony, Harry Kane And what are they doing? They've got to do their best tricks. W an example of a trick. Well like sort of there's loads of these freestylers, so they would just do something like that. Yeah So it's going to be very yeah, football in trick. Yes, or a cved trick There's not much in it for the people in the stadium Well, they're doing on the big screens. and on the big screens And Sabrina Cper is probably playing. Oh, she's there anyway. Yeah. So it's very short and snappy. It's a five each. five each. So it's a bit like having the World Cup decided by VAR Yeah. which everyone loves, and which FIFA are definitely not going to get rid of No, they're not. me absolutely not. for the welcome if anything iss going to be more VAR. Really? Yeah, if you talk to people who are at the IFab meetings, they love it. So how are you voting? Or Online. becausecause everything's done online these days. Yeah Yes, he's right. Everything is online these days, Dave. So yeah, and that's the thing. and FIFA's partner, they're partnered with just Park Twice it' goo So it's Google helping. There's going to be a lot of dead air in the stadium while this vote is all. well. Dave, I know you are going to givevel us should we just get to one. Listen to me Wh, you talk about dead air and is the audience in the stadium still engaged I would argue ten snappy tricks. whoa. It's not gonna be snappy. It's like down could do keepPFPs for hours. People will get in the bathroom. name me ten different footballing tricks you can do. Oh. We still a guy we kick upp. Right kickup. We had a guy on Fcy F fobly G every week, thanks for watching, Joh. Y abbsolutely m.ubbscribing to Sky. Mad There out of ideas was mad the stuff he could do. Yeah, there's more than' L like on his back and he's sort of on the soles of his feet and all sorts of we.' be on the soles he That's not what football players do. Yeah, but they do all that stuff en you seen Maradona? Daveve just given the. Have seen the footage of Maradonna warming up for the nineteen eighty nine UAFA Cup fininal Yes exactly. What's the final round? Final round Oh, it's gone to the final round. Oh my god with Eis Iar Oh wellow. It wasn't. It was It was not. It really was. I actually think my budge is better than his. The three Brians. He just so despered to include Queen into any single f They will play in the stadium of every game No, the music will be playing in every single stadium. Round three Disaster on the even. Oh no. Smer's had a planning nightmare, ha't they? Yeah. Oh, it's just their luck. You're not allowed to take in plastic refillable plastic bottles Good becausecause obviously it's important for people to get dehydrated in extreme heat ac three different countries. You've got to bite in the ground. The World Cup trophy has gone missing. As WCDO Head Dave was entrusted with it, but left it unattended while conducting a remote teams meeting to talk about vertical deliveries at the record hall in Farringdon. You're brief create a new World Cup trophy Design, colour, vibe, name, whatever you fancy. that will be the most impactful and I suppose offer the most longevity for years to come as well So that I don't think this is necessarily just a World Cup design for the America slash Canada slash Mexico tournament. This needs to, you know Be with us for years to come If Ellis has drawn what I think he's drawn it, I think it's the same as the current World Cup. No No, but it has' one crucial difference. Okay. OkayK, the ideas are in the pictures have been pitched. It's the most cynical thing I've ever thought. It's the most cynical thing I've ever thought. Interesting. Okay KPM What are you again? KPM James. What are you coming with to save the day in the eleventh hour? First off, it's absolutely massive. because the European cup is huge. But bigger than the European Cp or, you know, the Champions League. Why is that Because there's something quite iconic about how big the Champions League slash European Cup is. Yeah. And so FIFA thought, well, that's UEFA's thing. So we always want to go one better than UEFA. so it's bigger than the European Cup. It's quite similar in design in that it's got a globe, you know, sort of a map of the world at the top of it But on every single continent is a list of corporate sponsors from that continent. that's good. Because you see, FIFA was the one thing FIFA loved more than anythingoney to do Anoney profit. So for instance, engraved into Japan is Nissan And Sony and you know Casio and all the big Japanese companies are engraved onto the USA, you've got Apple and all thea engraved onto Germany, you've got Volkswagen and BMW, and IudD and Mercedes, etcer. And those companies all pay to be on the engraving of the World Cup. And then at the bottom' got little clins so that's where you can put the winners those like on Yeah. Is that agile? Is that flexible enough? because what it's wipeed clean. It's the engraving. So what happens if Apple go bust? Yeah, this is Exactly, then you'd well they don't want to pay for the next you know years. so well exactly then they would change it. So but it's engraved Yeah, so the worldld Cup becomes bigger each time or smaller orr smaller. So they've got they've got to add more gold to it.ments are just covered in the names of big private companies that are sponsoring. So like obviously America would be Budwiser and of England would be in England Um, U Milton Mowbray pies Australia? I'm a big Australian company. Castlemain. Yeah. Fosters Can I see it, please? Oaks Us. That's Austral. All right, okay, yeah, yeah Yeah. It's similar designs to the current World Cup So is it just the cururrent World Cup with p fol? Los of corporate logos and it's much, much, much bigger. I can't lift enough. Be I considered making it tiny like the ashes. Yeah. But I thought noone of Fo always want to you lifters everything. The squad can lift it ye It It wass just like when you throw the manager up in the air. Yeah, yeah, you're doing that with the trophy. You're need you're going need several pairs of hands on the World Cup. But crucially, every inch of it is covered in corporate sponsorship And because it's the World Cup, which is the world's biggest sporting event, it would cost millions to get yourself onto. Yeah, so it is only for the world's biggest companies. Okay. Robins and Robins and Robins. Well, it's breaking boundaries with the world's first digital trophy.. It's an iPad which you can update the IOS every four years. reflect changing trends. This is exact This is agile. There's no wiping cle. There's no engraving, there's no reengraving. The iPad is set on a solid gold, it's a tree trunk. to represent growth. And coming from the tree to under got three branches, one is USB C, one is lightning, one is micro USB to enable it to be charged for the rest of time. Yeah. All the options. So now though. So for example, the version I've drawn has got twenty ninety four World Cup winners Wales. Well, that's good. Oh nice squad you can have reels and footage and highlights play on the iPad. So it's actually as much a digital sort of time capsule of the World Cup. What a legacy. So your footage joins the footage of past winners, not just your name And it could be held it could be kept at the FIFA Museum in Zurich, couldn't it? Yeah And if you get a VPN on it, you can watch porn As who's keeping it, the winning team. The winning team. Yeah. and they get to upload all their favourite clips onto it and it'll backstage the video of them and their whatsAppps. And there the backstage them in the dressing room celebrating that gets added to it. Yeah. I suppose the one thing that I like it, I do like it. The one thing that would date is we know how quickly connection ports change Well Well this is why it's got all three. But all those three could be done in ten years because there's another one. I know anything about Apple, it's that they they want your items to be usable for the next hundred billion doars. Oh they don't believe in built and obsolescence at all. Also, Dave, the iPad at the top, if you needed to, could be removable from the tree and replaced with the most recent model. Okay Good. Interesting, almost two very opposite ideas. Yeah. I think the great cups, like the Ashes has been around since the eighteen eighties. Yeah. The littleittle En, obviously the FA cup. We're on the third Fic Cup, but it's a very old thing same the European cup. I think that the modernity of an iPad is a little bit tacky, att least mine looks like a trophy. Yeah, yours isn't tacky at all. No, no, no, it's profit making. but it's not any. Are the fans interested in celebrating that trophy? It's nothing to do with the fans. Football has been nothing to do with the fans for decades, John. The Cand man It's the iPad or it's the sponsored massive thing. It's a bigig America with Microsoft engraved into it GM motors John takes the second point. Y insane again. two on to j. An iPad. cup but it's creative.en would win an iPad. Yeah. It's great. It's got a ten thousand million power battery. You spent too long in commercial read. fully charged on proof. That is future proof. too mad, It's got USBC on it. He's future proofed it more than you. No you're wiping clean engravings. Every year. Every year four years. There's a way of doing that There isn't. We'll just add to the trophy Write it in Sharpie asked Permanent. All right, wrrite it in Prail two onser John. You've lost it The victory man Almice takes the Yeah, so it's fifteen love to John in the second game in the third. I very rarely argue the toss in these madeid up games, but you've lost your mind No. Y yourours is identical to the existing tro. Yeah Yes, me which is good but unliftable Continuity. So how are they connced? No iconic scene of Bobby Charton holding us the trophy Continuity because it looks quite similar to the current one but It can only be lifted by the heads of the ten most profitable countries. It's a revenue generator for FIFA. People wouldn't be able to say' salt Bay next to a big unit foro. What Salt Bay? He's the salt steak influencer. Do you not remember this? twenty twenty two World Cup, he was on the pitch. He was doing his salt thing. What on the grass? I kill the grass? On the onn the slugs. He was pretending to play Maybe he was killing little slugs on the grass Right? comeome on, should take too long. It's ridiculous because he' always go to the final round Let's read some correspondence Right, we've had some fantastic emails and some lovely messages as well that we wanted to read out to you This is from Rory in Balmy slash stormy, Kent. And this is a story about people playing music out loud on the train. Rory says, Hello my three kind mice Listening back to episode five hundred and forty four regarding the lack of headphones on trains took me back to a journey in circa two thousand six. The day before I'd been working on a particularly stressful shift in a children's home So stressful that I missed the train from Paddington to Gloucester that evening to see my mum for her birthday That meant I was on a six AM train from Forest Hill the next morning in a state of tiredness and irritation stemming from the shift itself and the sixty pound train ticket I had had to buy twice I sat down to read my book The only other person on the entire carriage was an adolescent playing some horrendous music out loud on their phone. After unsuccessfully trying to ignore them, I eventually spoke to them as follows me Would you mind turning that down or putting some headphones in? What Me, your music, would you mind turning that down and putting some headphones in I can do what I want. Oh dear. Me, I know you can, but I'd appreciate it if you couldd be a bit quieter Move somewhere else then So we thought about this suggestion briefly and then thought, no I'm right, they're wrong. So the conversation continued Your playing music out loud is the equivalent of me reading my book out loud. Is it fair if I do that G on then So I did What made this even better was th that I was reading Gandhi's biography at the time. I read out loud for around two minutes in an act of nonviolent resistance I believe Mahatma would be proud of. Needless to say, said adolescent clearly thought I was completely unhinged and buggered off sharpish.es. Apart from the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I had a wonderful calm journey therea from Rory. superb. That's fantastic. I'd love to know what the adolescent thought of that. and whether they gave it any more thought and thought to themselves, do you know what I probably shouldn't be been played by music I'd like to know why the addoleste was on the train that early. H M maybe they hadn't gone home yet. Of course. yeah, not great in the morning. but u This the fact is Gandhi's autobiography, autobiography is so funny to me. This is from Adam in Belfast because we were talking about the relationship between Kellogg's cornflakes and Oanism. the other week. That was on one of the bureau episodes ony Sounds. Adam in Belfast says on the subject of Kellogg's and their logo being a cockkerel There's a supposedly a cary connection I used to live in pronounce that,lease Ellrk. Crickath Northern Nills. And and Adam says, no I don't know to hero in Okay, but does you know my friend Sean Fritzetard who's Crookie, just don't know? Who as a kid played Loy George in his first acting And from what I remember, there's a plaque in the town which states that John Kellogg picked the Cckkerel as the company's emblem, as a Welsh speaker had pointed out to him the similarity between the name Kellogg and the Welsh for Cckrel. Which is Kalogg. Kellog. What an incredible fact. Oh like that, he's also started the emble of Pndar U V Mechin Men in Bach which means good afternoon my little butter boys. Oh nice I did know that Kayleog Kellogg fact. That's great. Yeah, that's good. And we had a lovely message from A I saying this writle is Kellen Yeah, well, Cellin is let me find this. Callin's from Essex is this? Yes Dam Thisertainly Kellin This is relevant to your email. Kellen is the Wels for Holly But I'll read this out to my three most favorraable city boys. My name is Carolyn, I'm sixteen and' from Esex. I'm autistic and your shows offer me great comfort as a form of escape from everyday overwhelmed. The world is often too much for me and friends often distract me with made up games. I've tauld them that I've enjoyed thisisting too I also enjoy listening to your show when making plushies for fundraising for a trip to America with my Scout trip troupe next year. I don't know what a plushy is Uh you must do. You're a dad? What a plusush you? Isn't it a form of u like a little teddy Dave? Yeah, it is. Yeah. All right. incredible. Scouting in America. Yeah. That's better than scouting in the nineties. Bears Wow. Yellowstone Oh yeah, kayaking made out of a big tree standing next to a big tree. Yeah rewood tree. A big redwood tree so big that there's a muk eig going through it. Y like tree. And the summer camps always look great for. Oh yeah. ye U I'd also like to tell Alice I've been learning Welsch for just over a year now. and it's fun using Alice's Welsh comedy setter to help me learn combed bucketoords of SSC and Dath Valy, which my friend Shan. I plan to move to Wales when I'm older as I love the community there and everyone is so lovely and welcoming when I want to practice my w I know this isn' as funny as other anecdotes you receive, but I hope you appreciate my appraisal. We do Caly Ns Thank you for some Ace funny moments for helping me to cope with society. Keep doing a fantastic job, Don Vauan, Kellen. Thank you very much, Kellen. A best of luck, Kellen, Thankk you so much for your kind words. We will continue and let us know how the learning of Welshes goes and let us know how the scout trip to America goes please. America. Are you going leaves or dust Ah yes Where is it America. Well how do we not location would