The Diet of Worms Showdown

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It's the biggest to be honest, it's year zero for me.. L time listen. We're talking about the Reformation. Yeah. The Protestant Reformation. and listeners to this podcast will know that I really struggle with anything before this. Right. because this is when history begins This is when I start to recognize human beings. rightight. Well this is the journey to some of the str globally, some of the strangest people in the world actually, arguablyro. It's the birth autism. Yeah. I don't deny that. It's the birth of autism. What is the person who fucked the ADS monkey? Martin Luther fucks the autism monkey and it leaps into people. This is the autism crisis of the sixteenth century Are you double loaded, Protestant I'm an extremist because I said before. I'm half and half, but I was raised by a protestent mother C Well youve got a Catholic father? Yeah, my dad. Of course, he's in Indonesia. He's. of course. yees. It's a corrupt. He's selling lotcks of people's hair. Yeah. I'm only half only half Well My mother is Presbyterian. R And my father is Anglican. Right. It sounds like one of those shit New York comic jokes. My mother is a Presbyter I see you trying father iss Anglican as. Nedy sell it. You're try to get a laugher. So when I see an eight year old boy, I don't know whether to put him to work, I'll shove him up my ass U'm Yeah, it's no, we are going to be getting into quite a lot of Christian denominational theology this fortnight. Yeah. But it's fascinating stuff and I mean that Yeah because I genuinely think fifteen seventeen onwards is, you know there's some cs for some ideas finally. Yeah. Before that's to actually get our teeth into that's not saying And then they did this Yeah and then they did that. And it's this is the end of, you know, the medieval period ends with Lu. But yeah, fifteen seventeen is the year that I you know, I think everyone in in in everyone has a year in history where they wake up And they're like, Oh Okay, this is interesting. It seems to me you doing this topic, it's like when people get set free by their autism diagnosis. like Pier Nvelli got his autism diagnosis. that like a lot of things made sense. Set me free. Now I understand Pierre It's like it was an early AI Be' like, I understand why these I'm different to other people. Yes. I think that's you doing this topic is. I understand myself. I understand. I finally got a label. Presbterian. But yeah, my mother's Presbyterian, Scottish we will get into probably in part three is a single mt Um ist highly distilled concentrated Protestantism. She's an extremist. Blended c a sweet bourbon. It is No harsh peet. It's fucking petrol water. It's sewage water. Yeah. It's Presbyterianism. Yeah That's my mother father is annglicanism. Yeah, so iss gay. will get into Yeah. Anglicism is gay, but we'll get into that. Yeah. T sa'sft It's soft b My mother's hard but It's liily liid. Yes, it is. Yeah. No My mother sort of whips my father basically. sound like their relationship works. So it's the beginning of a four part series and we'll be getting into it. We are in the Holy Roman Empire, the first Reich. to give it us a proper name.. So we're in what is now Germany, but it's a patchwork Quilts of different states It really is. You've got you've got your Saxony, you've got your Bavaria, all these there's all counties, basically. it's like English counties, but if they were they don't know what a country is yet. they're all just fucking freestyling Yeah at the moment And part of the great you know, Germany isn't a country until the nineteenth century. they're very late developers because they have such strong provincial yeah and a lot of Nazism was trying to s of make make up a long history for a country that's very newight? Yeah, againain, why I like this topic. The Nazis are impossible without Luther Arguably Luther is the sort of proto Hitler. But also Marx is impossible without Luther That's true. So it's like Luther is arrguably of the last five hundred years most important. He's the only He's the first guy to have a thought that's not Where is my next bowl of porridge or like G or like let's Just, you know, Let's fucking Char Yeah. Yeah, he's the first guy who's thinking about stuff He's first he's the first disruptor. He's very much a disruptor. Yeah That's what That's how my dad would view him. Right. I wouldd view him as a sort of a tech disruptor. Your dad's a Catholic. No, but he respects disruption. off course. in the market. Right, Yes. yeah. He thinks you've got to shake things up and these are important. He's an outlier. D not get my dad's threads up please. dad's on threads. Yeah my dadook at his golf swing. No, no go on his replies. Go on his replies, Gone his replies. Oh the first one starts with listen. So he when he's stuck in traffic on the way to golf He responds to sort of AI images. Yes Truth and logic So my image destroyed by truth and logic. Yeah, there's a lot of anti Brexit staff. Wait here were going go go down one, go down one So That's educating people who are anti capitalist on Adam Smith. Read Adam Smith on why capital accumulation is essential for societal growth, then read any book explaining why consumption without R and D leads to a doom cycle. Well, he's going had one like on that. And he's replying to a thread that had ten thousand lies Anyway, much like Luther, he's a lone man shouting into the boy. Exactly very much so. and also the printing press is th, isn't it? It is is Luther is the first guy to go viral. Yeah, you know And again, the history of going viral has got worse. Yes. When you think of the Ed know the literacy and the articulation of a complex idea goes viral five hundred years ago. Yeah. And now it's a Korean woman smushing bread into her face. Yes. But the West has fallen. I agree, but if we look at the things that Luth was pumping out from the birth of vality was talking about some absolutely foul things talking about shitting yourself Yeah. like that comes from the birth There was never a moment where it wasn't linked to absolute Vulg the crap. Yes, that's no that is true actually, we'll get into that. So The Holy Roman Empire is a patchwork quilt of different types of pork eating Germans. And it is governed by you've got the two swords theory. Right. One of them is an emperor T twoo Kata theoriesatana sorry to put that into context for. It's not two girls one cup Charlie. did not get out on the screen. The Holy Roman Empire is not governed by the two girls one cup theory. Well sort of is It's nothing to do with two girlsup It'sort of two girls one cup. Whereas well one girl represents the power of the empty two denominations and the other one represents the power T togetheret they're in one cup, right? Sorry, so are you saying that there's two denominations, one Christ? Be in the two source theory Correct if'mong, it's about the delineation between church and state. Yes it is. And it's about the power of the Holy Roman Emperor and the power of the Pope, but they are joined together with one cup off. Well, I suppose so. Yeah. o. So' the twoirls on one c. The two girls oneupoly Roman Empire. And this starts you start you have the great Sism of ten fifty four It's covered the great schism. Many times. Yeah Fs up a lot more than I thought it would when I first heard of it. Yeah. you know how they say that men think about the Roman Empire once a day. I you think about the great S schism of T four multiple times. whichich is the because remember we'll talk a lot about the Catholic Church, but the Catholic Church doesn't exist. The Catholic Church only exists when they have to define themselves against Protestantism or what what are we? Oh we the Pedo one. Okay, fine. o. Yeah. But so the great Sism is actually just the Eastern Church and the western Church one by the Latin speak in Rome and the other led by the patriarchs of B Gree speakers. Greek speakers Yeah. And this is why you know Greece and Russia and the sort of Eastern Europe is so different from Central Europe. It's because culturally This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responssees set upp required compatibility and availability varies eighteen pllus This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom sccrolling? Smart Move. Another smart move Getting help from one of State Farm's nineteen thousand local agents when you choose to bundle homeome and auto. Bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. You know, Orthodox Christianity is much more Cunal it's much less individual than Pstantism, certainly. Yeah. But also it's there's a they're much okay with mysticism, much morekay mysticism and suffering as well. we've discussed in the Russian Revolution series They love suffering It's a bit more v in life. It is complete vooded nonsense. And Catholic Church, from your point of view, the Cathol Church is vooded nonsense It's magic, But that Orthodox is even further. It's unknowable. Right. Yeah. Well I still never quite understood the link between Greek Orthodx and Russian Orthodox, how they're both part of similar churches, even though culturally they're so different. The Greek and the Russans. Yes They don't have any links to me. re as far away as possible. Well, the Russians actively seek out pain and they love it. And the Greeks actively avoid anything. It doesn't really make sense to me. No that it's the same church. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I suppose so. it's the same psychology, I think. Why? Well it's not European. Right? is it? Yeah's centr And we'll get into listen, a big thing I'm interested in is the sort of psychological architecture that is left in a culture after the theology has gone, which is why I as you said, Germany nineteen forty five. Yeah. Wh you're saying But by the way, if fifteen seventeen s when I wake up Germany nine forty five when I go to sleep again For me, that's history, right? is Luther to healer. History The great schism of ten fifty four yes, creates Latin Christendom and then the Voodoo Orthodox nonsense where the priests all dressed like soda streams. Now the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages sort of operates on this spiritual economy Yes, whereby drial complex a Yeah. whereby the ordinary sort of shit eating peasants Yes with their shit hair and their porridge. Yeah they have to actively pay the Catholic Church in order. It's a patron system It is a patron system, but let's not follow that threreat. Which of our patrons will be the Luther? Sit eating peasant. sh eating which patron will rise up and go, hang on. Hang on. Why are you playing indulgences? Wh supp three pounds of indulgences to these corrupt These corrupt pedos It's a fair point actually.. But so the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages operates on this spiritual economy where, yeah, people have to basically, it's a pyramid scheme. you donll have to pay in order to save themselves later. Yes. So this idea of purgatory. Wh whichich is the waiting room right The waiting room before heaven or hell. Yeah And you can you can buy things in real life in order to minimize your time spent in the waiting room. Yes. So they have these things called indulgences which is basically and the people who choose indulgences are the clergy or the bishops or the priests, right?. So they get to choose what each indulgence, how much time it gets you off. Yeah. And because they've been imbued with the power of God, they can say like, yeah, well if you buy this toenail clipping that I't believe is from Jesus' friend's toenails. Yeah. That's probably you maybe get five years off hell like and they're just spitballing it basically. Oh it's complete bollocks. And I actually I actually this is some of the The maddest indulgences is the Catholic Church. We're selling or relics rather. I mean the relic is something that you buy or you'd pay to see and that would give off time in the holy foreskin There were fourteen different churches in Europe that claimed to have Jesus' foreskin It was said to have how everyone says that the sex pistols gig, even though there was that famous sex pistols gig that only fifty people were around Yeah like one hundred people said Yeah But Eone's like, yeah, we've we all like Jesus forekin fourourteen We could have I guess the'. Jesus and the disciples and then some other cs.. The Virgin Mary's milk Numerous vials of petrified liquid breast milk. In reality these were usually just white chalkal lime mixed with water. Hay from the manger, just bits of straw Yeah, it is awesome, but it does also explains the Italian mindset as well exain exain the mafia, the corruption. I's a lot like Yeah. Truth is sort of in the hands of whoever's in power and you could sort of play with it how you will. Yeah But also the other people are just very, very thick That's the only version of the church you are dealing with a very thick and it's only when printing reading starts growing that you can't keep treating them like shit eating peasants. But to be fair, they are shit eating peasants just to give the Catholicchans the people at this time, you know. Yeah. So you've also we'll get into who Frederick IId is or Frederick the Wise Yeah. but he's important to the story, but he collects relics such as a lock of the Virgin's hair. Now many of our patrons will have lock of the Virgin's hair, corpse of a baby killed by Herod, parts of swaddling from Jesus, fragments of the cross, a thumb from Saint Anne. He's got milk from the Virgin Mary as well, apparently. But that industry is still here today. if you go to the Vatican there are you know, effigies of the pope's face on sweets and stuff. Fridge magnets. There's Fidge magnets. It's like it's tack. It's an American candy store in central London. Yeah, you know, and all the London like T tourist stuff. It's money laundering. Yeah is money la. And it's still there today. know, indulgence is still a thing. Yeah. They don't take money for them. Yeah. but yeah. As we've said before essentially the Catholic Church is selling Jesus' farts in ajar. and people are buying them. who's b off water huffing them. and then they're getting into supposedly they're getting into purgetory at less time in purgetory. You also have now I don't understand a lot of the Catholic practices Be you're not taking any bread and wine. No, I'm always, I'm doing the puse now when I go up to receive I've been to aaste funeral, what is Paul Golding? Pul Golding today When I go up to the altar at a Caste funeral, I go, no thank you No, I haveve gone to a Catholic funeral and yeah, I did for You it fory looks like a Ghanaian funeral. That's probably. It was crazy. It' absolutely crazy Mad Follllow The noise. So I went to a high church Anglican school, which is a branch of Anglicanism which is basically Catholic, but they don't like the pope. so they get away as much as they can possibly. It's all in English, it's all that, but all the dressings Yeah yeah. So we did bread and wine, but we just don't would just view it as symbolic and that's a huge deal And this is this is crazy how much is a man thing for it to beic this whole rupture is Yeah is the bread and wine U figurative O is it actually Jesus' body and Figurative. Yeah. And that's the entire split. But what do you mean? like Yeah? Be I think when they consecrate it, it becomes his body But it's crazy, but even in there surely even in what they're trying to say it's metaphoric, how could it possibly But but you are viewing it across your mindset. Yeah, you know, because you are this is the first time magician was called out for being a nse Someone does magic for front Luther and he goes, whatd you fuck off? They cancel dynamo basically. It's street performance. It's Cneie's and Luther goes, I've had enough of this, right? You're all just shysters. this is boring. You're all nononsces. There's also mass which the Protestants don't have, which is the no, which are the rituals that at times were literally like Um psychedelic sort of you'd go on for hours.s do the bigooger stuff. It's drumming and. But I went to a Catholic funeral and yeah, they said like if you're not Catholic, then just do this when you will candor at the altar to say that I don't want any bread and more So I did that I didn't you want it? Hey? Why do you not want it L is really nonsense didid you not I bread? Yeah but it's not like nice bre. I love bread.s I love bread. but it's no, it's wafer because wine. Yes, but it's a it's not actual wine, it's shit wine and it's a wafer because they're corrupt. They call it bread but it's not bread. it's a cracker, if it's anything. Right if it's nice peanaoa and it's sourdough bread, you if they had some oil that you could dip the bread in. Yeah, and you could spend some time. You would throw your religious views out there I don't have religious views. You have cultural views. Cultural prejudices they have the Eucharist will become a big rupture point. But so that's basically the lay of the land that the Catholic church It dominates the Holy Roman Empire, which is basically Germany. that's what it is, isn't it? It goes maybe into Switzerland. But then there's a marriage alliance and it becomes Spain, it's the dominant force apart from France Yes. and what what I will say is that at the end of the Reformation, which you could probably say is sixteen forty eight, we won't go that far in the series, that is the beginning of the modern nation state really. So it's just before all the all. So in the Early fifteenth century, you have a guy called Jan Hus. J Has. Not J Has U It's not Jay Hus. I don't know who the Jay Hus is. a rapper. Is a rapper' good's very good. What is he saying Big good evening Yeah I can see a chicken it seasoning. Well that posted on the block like in a low life, I like my phanta with no ice. She said my lifestyle is no nice But my woody so good it make a blow twice. So Jan Hus is the the Anglic sized version of his name is John Goose which has a different vibe to it. Yeah, it's not as impressive My name Hello, I'm Jhn Goose. Now John Goose is essentially Luther a hundred years before And he's operating in Bohemia, what's now the Czech Republic, where the conditions are not as favorraable. T U someone saying this stuff Right, why? Well, the Holy Roman Empire all has loads of devolved power. Yes. And part of the thing Luther weaponizes is that all the princes in the provinces want less overreach from Rome. Yeah. So they're actually very happy it is very EU similarities USSR. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's bloody Brussels. Yeah. exxcept it's not Brussels, it's the Vascum. But in my head, those are both paedophiles Belgium. ye I've asked, you know Anyway, so Hus, he basically I think he pretty much says exactly what Luther goes on to say. It's like the Bible's the main thing. all you're doing is you're basically exploiting thick people by saying that you understand the Bible and they can't read it. And then you're all running, you're becoming corrupt And also where will the big batty go? Where will all the Big batty go? And this chicken needs this me And he also, I think he calls out the blood and the wine, the bre the bread and the wine.ays the fuck is this? He says, that's not. No, I think he says, can I have some? I think just the pri seater. Yeah. And then the clergy just like out Well, what are you doing over there? Yeah Can write some of that? And they go no. And again, anyway.. So Hus preaches against it and he gets followers that are called Hussites or gooses, I guess. And he gets excommunicated becausecause there's another schism, the Western schism, which is the cououncil of Constance It ended by the council of Constance So they say they call us to this council And they say you're going have safe passage, right because he's been mouththing off and so he he he thinks he's going to get killed But the the Catholics say, Oh, you can have safe passage. then he goes, Okaykay f then they get he gets there then they're like, you're a heritic. you're we're gonna burn canceled. Yeah, the ultimate cancel culture. John Dooust gets burned.. And he goes, I thought I' had save passage. And they're like, Yeahah, you have saved passage here But now you're here, we're gonna burn you. Is this sort of idi I mean talk about freedom of speech? I'm sorry that you took offence. Yeah you' get a freedom of speech. I just can'tam a fedom of.m speech. Beast. Absolutely incredible So Husk gets burned in fourteen seventeen, which ends the sort of schism. but he still got followers in Czech Republican Prague. Yes. And now what happens is so uh he again Whenever there's a Protestant or early Protestant thinker, it kind of folds into like local power dynamics Yeah and like revolutions. Yeah So you get to the Council politics. Yeah, it is. So you get to the first Defenistration of Prague. Now we did a very early Patreon episode on the history of Dfenestration. Yeah. Defenestration is a It's weir that they to have a word for this a word. onene of my favourite words is one of is the act of throwing someone out of a window window. Yeah. I don't know if we got to the point can you refenestrate someone, which is throwing someone into a window? I tell you what you can do is to place this, okay, to place the Reformation which is let's say it's fifteen seventeen. Sure. That is after the first fenestration of Prague fourteen nineteen and it is before Liam Payne self de fenestrated Canan one self defenestrate? I think the app is built within the defenestration. Sorry, is someone chucking you T to give it its proper historical name. Yes, you can. The first deenestration of Buenos Aires Yes, you can. this act is all. Now can you autoerotic defenestrators The act of throwing oneself from a window. Auto deffenestration. Can you auto erotic defenestrate? I guess you can, yeah, you can yeah, because what you do is you but have a really, really long tie. ight on a balcony and then you jump off bunge jumping. Bun Yeah bunchy jump wanking is autoerotic deffenestration. Yeah. But we did the history deeneststration and there would seem to be a strange history of multiple deenstrations happening in Prague. There are maybe three or four It's arguably a cultural thing Yes, it is, but it's all linked to early Protestantism really. I think the thirty years warar which is the biggest war in Europe until we don't know anything about begins with the third deonistration of Prague. Yeah. I think maybe the Czechs need to stop building stairs. Yeah. I think they've got an issue there. But there's something' a great story because Sound quite satisfying if you don't like cououncil. D't fuck off. There is something thrilling about jocking a council leader. very Protestant Fuck off f fuck out of the window, fuck off Bin It's a very Potestant move. Oh fuck off get out and fuck off. No I don't agree with you. Fuck off. It's a very Protestant thing. okay. And actually, you know there'll be a lot of in this whole story, in this whole series, there are a lot of things going out windows whichich you know it's the long road to chucking a TV out a windowes, you know. Protestants don't hold much sacred. They try and keep what they hold sacred As small as possible. No, nothing sacred. So no one's sacred. We'll go out another window Right in the Ben fuck off, you're I don't agree with you G out Yeah, you know. Protestant footballing, you know, is very similar to S Anas. Yeah. There's no beauty in it. There's no beauty to it Get up top, fuck off out of the window. piss off, Duff. You know, we get things done. Yeah, okay So this sparks the Hussite wars. Right Okay, which I didn't realize there they they basically defeat the they invent asymetric warfare. They're the first talalibip. What's right, right?erllrieral warfare. Right? They're the first Hamas, whatever you want to call them. They are between fourteen nineteen and fourteen thirty four Hosmas Hsmas They're Czch Taliban fighters and they invent they invent the Howitzer. The word Howitzer comes from cannons.' Howitzer mean. It's like a type of cannon. Right. But they basically invent pistols. They basically make a little hand pistol And they also invent wagon defences which is how America Yeah. So you know when we did Ro's Drift. Yeah, they have a thing called a lager. Yeah a wagon lager. That comes from this. Right. So those are German words. Yeah the idea of making your wagons and making a circle and using that as a defense. So the Holy Roman Empire They go on five crusades. Yeah. you sort of make a Buaki as a defensive position, right? You will get round in a circle. Yes, but you're facing out. Right, okay. So it would be pointless. It' be an outward facing Bukaki. Yeah, is that a Bukhaki, I suppose? If there's a woman kneeling and then you will turn your backs like borcasting, She is elsewhere. Yes, Ill tell you what it is. No Britain sorry, it's Brit first Bukaki. Whenere's a Muslim on under the knees and you go no, no away from them Yeah, I guess if a woman thinks she's entering a Bkaki and then you do reverse Bkaki as an act of protest I think that's a very I that's a very powerful political. What you saying though? It is powerful. what's the statement? She's expecting fifty loads to her face, but actually fifty people all agreed that this is going to be a mass strike.. You know, It's the power of the union. It's the power of the strike. Yeah. You're all collectivising. You're turning your backs, and you're coming And then she's left unbuakid. It is a powerful image, I'm not sure what it says, I suppose Anyway, so the Hussite wars are actually they they're quite interesting because Yeah, they defeat there are five crusades that the pope sends and they all get defeated. And then there's a crusade five crusades. they can't defeat them because they also make They have all these because they're basically peasants. they have these farming, I guess plows and they make them like into sort of tank traps, but for horses. Anyway Theyvelop they develop base imerg of warfare and they can't they' like the boars basically. Yeah, abute they are. So they I think by fourteen thirty four there's a kind of fragile peieace where Bohemia nowadays, Czech Republic, they're allowed to be goosey Protestants Right, Hus Hus height or whatever. Yeah. That's the only area So a bohemiian being a bohemian Is that at all linked to being Czech? Yes being Fu. Bohemian, I think that's the sixties. Oh it's I mean Gyps Gypsy, right? Oh, I love that So if I call someone boohemian, I'm call them a gypsy. Yeah, That's perfect. Th then Tyson Fury doesn't seem very Bhemian. I' fight you, Ble Koty Lan Rouge. I know a bit to windo, have we? Um anyway. So the Hussite wars end with this fragile piece where basy Bohemia and bus site gone.'m There we go I f I'm gonna to bus sight get out. So they end with a kind of an uneasy sort of piece where theoly Romanmpire just sort of says, okay, well they can they can stay doing their mad Goosey stum But as when huss is burned at the stake He says U Now I'm paraphrasing. But he says something like, you may have cooked this goose But a hundred years' time there'll be a swan who you can't burn. Damn N To me Q quite Cathic and poetic So don't I don't dou that ' becausecause you don't like subtext. No If you mean it, write it. In hundred years there's going to be a guy who's going to do it and you won't be able to burn him All right, greatreat. I'll look out for him. Thank you. Thanks, John I understand what I understand what you said You're not to a goose. 'ause Yeahah, you're like, a swan, but what's a swan gonna to do P How's a swan got the grip of theology that you What's the actual quote? You are now going to burn a goose, but in essenturally you will have a swan which you can neither roast nor boil. So Hus basically has a prophecy that Luther's going arrive. and it is almost Fark is is exactly a hundred years because he's burned in fourteen seventeen and Luther nails the seventeen looks, that's be real Well, it's prostatism, we've got to give it.. I mean it's fact based Yeah. It's not voodoo nonsense. Right And so we should also before we get to Luther, talk about the printing press. because that's central to the story a guy calleds Gutenberg, it's not Steve Gutenberg. He invents a Does he invent the printing press? I think printing presses are around a bit beforehand? Well, there's some in China, I think. B Bllocks. Yeah, China and Korea. Yeah Wantna know the real story of how Oasis made Britain mad for it, how friends turned us onto coffee culture and super layered hair. The secrets of Nirvana, trainspotting, gay hookups, Diana's revenge dress, and what it was really like to be a spice girl plunge back into the decade when the world fell for cool Britannia, bumpster jeans, and lemon hooch With Talk nineties to me. Listen now wherever you get your podcast. and if you use Spotify, you can watch the whole show too. That's Talk nineties to me out every Monday You like our new theme chin Oh go what now? The podcast that's been keeping politics addicts sane since twenty sixteen has had a lick of pate. We've got a new sound and a new feel, and we're recording closer to release time, so we're even more up to date on the stories that matter But we're sticking to the same job, one that's even more important as the stakes get higher in British politics. Exploring the big stories, dispelling the bullshit and doing it all with a sense of humor. You need one these days. That's oh God what now with me, Andrew Harrison, and the absolute A team of pololitics punditry. Get it every Tuesday and Friday on your favorite podcast apps by Johannes Gutenberg inventor they're pressing octopus pan over there Like they're not using it for ye. Yeah, you're right. Yeah But then it's what is it about porn breeds invention? It's yeah, it's always it's at the forefront of new technologies is always pornraphy. Porn takeaway. Yeah. Bloke's running it I want that guy. to send me food while I watch porn without getting up for my j. watch porn about a delivery guy. Getting fired f with him getting fired The Gutenberg press is invented in the fourteen fifties, The Gunenberg press Ugly stuff' the middle that? Yeah. fourteen fifties by Johannes Gutenberg in Minz in Germany And he's the one who first prints a German translation of the Bible in the beginning. I thought Luther would did the first translation. Oh no he didn' it from the original Greek. Yeah, right right. So the Bible remember the Bible iss in Latin and all the clergy can only read Latin because everyone's They paywalled it. They pasted there. they patroned it. Yeah Yeah. So I suppose the equivalent would be Luther, one of our sort of horrible smelly patrons he stands up and says, well, hang on All these episodes that are archived should be for everyone.'s yeah, it' it's sort of like getting cancellled for what you've said behind the paywall. That's what he's gotone in there and saying what the fuck are you guys being be doing Yeah's actually actually. As we will, eventually some will be like one of the wrong it'll fall into the wrongs and they'll look through the paton episode. Oh'll be like you got away' absolutely cooked. Yeah. It's all there. If you're looking for it guys,'s all there it's all there. We're all finished. So yeah, the Gutenberg press, you know, he's the first one that makes it Jo so People start reading U, which U Everyone's doing their own research and doing your own research, even the modern conspiracy theorists which is kind of mainly in America, but we have a lot in Britain. David Ike. It's more an Anglosphere thing. A' you saying this is the long road to Holcaust denial The actor being a conspiracy theorist Protestant sort of Question everything Do your own research? Do your own research? What your view of the world is truth? Yeah just you're being told. No. That's whymerica, which is a Protestant philosophical country.' so skeptical of any sort of state anybody telling them it's no it's me or my ranch, what I believe or my for. My relationship with the Holocaust I don't care what you say happened. I have my own relationship to it. And through my relationship, I will achieve salvation or jail time. Basically there's also G Guningberg, there's a theory that as people read their IQ goes up because there's a book coming out by a guy called James Marriott who I really like writer who says that he's there's data now that IQ is starting to go down because reading makes down because everyone's just gooning. Yeah. So let's get to Luther, who is the yeah, Tom Holland says he's the most important guy ever. Well the last six hundred years. and what was interesting about what would Tom Holland do This is his sort of expertise. He I think he was implying that what makes him so especialally as a figure is The revolution wouldn't necessarily have happened without him, which I don't know if I agree with because John Goose had done it. yeah, Goosey had done it, but basically that It was It wasn't just a natural thing that was going to happen. it was Martin Luther, who really as a historic figure made it happen. Yeah. so he's Well, I guess because he' he's charismatic Yeah and he forces it through Yeah. So Luther is born into a sort of an upwardly mobile family. His dad was was his dad a farmer or something? Some shit. Anyway, there's a merchant, maybe. Cper miner coser smelter. All right, so either those things. He owns the mine. and so he basically raises the family up. to become middle class. All of these people great historic figures are The ds is like petity bourgeois or own something It's Mao, it's Lenin. my son's going to grow up. Terrible, terrible man A terrible man. We can't know what depths he we plumet weot we started potty training him and this weekend he He said, I need to pee and I went all right, and I turned my head round and he peed everywhere around the potty. then he went, Oh, slip. And he just started rolling around in this piss And so do you think that's going to be a symbolic of how he treats? I think he will make a severe rupture with the Anglican Church some point You know, he's clearly got a lot of theology, right. Yeah. So his dad's called Ludah, but he modified it to Luther I Martin dead try to make him sound No de. It louder. It a d was called Hello Luder U and so he is's like trained to become a lawyer I think But then and his dad really wants him to become a lawyer He at some point has these like he goes to Erfort to study law But he calls the place a beerhouse and a haore house. But that's a bad thing. Okay. Yeah That's not a pz. This's fucking great. Yeah. But in fifteen oh seven, he abandons Lw and gets ordain as a priest. Now there are three stories as to why he does this U so His friend Hieronymus Bnts, This is amazing. Hieronyus is an awesome name. Herymus Bnts. Yeah. We need to bring Hieronymus back I think it'd be very funny for you to call your son Eeronom. So just to kind of so flank yourself I might go back to John's because my whole family has been John John, Joh, John John Ratio, Joh Yeah, but that's narcissistic to do.. I need to keep going to actually keep going, heronyous What's heronymous is something be called So he dies and then so he gets really sad and then starts to commit his life to the church. Then he also has an accident with a sword and severs an after in his leg And while he's bleeding out, he's going, Oh Mary, help. And then he reaches a doctor But it bursts open again. and so he calls on the Virgin Mary to save him And then he does survive I guess this is a time where, you know, er superstitious time. Yeahes, if you say something out loud and that happens, then you're like, Oh right. Yeah. But then the famous one is that he gets caught in a storm in fifteen oh five. and he's Scared Be I mean, this is something that a lot of people have done. I think we all, you know, if you're scared, you briefly become religious. a great Patuca Nilbert about how he's only religious in the on a plane. Yeah. Yeah. I promise I'll become a devout thing if you he's getting on the plane and he's like, let me help you with your bag. Yeah' gonna to fuck off U so there's a storm happening and this is all in is it Saxony? I think, which is sort of a big part of south North of Germany. Is it North Germany?. whereere is Saxony? Let me just get my bed Denmark, I believe It'sast no, it's not the south. No, it's kind of it's above Bavarius actually. Yeah, East Germany really the border with Well I guess it's on the border with Pra with Czech Republic. so it it's near the goose and stuff. So it gets caught in a storm And he shouts helpel, St Anna, I will become a monk And eventually the storm stops and he becomes a monk. that she follows it through Thd play through. It sort of becomes like a an internet sensation professor Right L sim as Jordan Peterson Yes in that like that's kind of very much so. He's a sort of academic, but he's he punchedire brand into the mainstream. Right yeah. I So we need to talk about a guy called Frederick the Wise, who's the Prince of Saxony and he builds a university in Wittenburg in Saxney. Is that the University that Hamlet went to it? Well, so when Shakespeare's writing, which is not long after this, Fittenberg, it's near where the printing press was, it was that university. Yeahah, he went to ratio Rosencrantz. Rosenrz is what's called Rosenrz in Gilds center.omous Rosenkrantz G be good I So yeah, he f University and then Luther becomes his sort of star I could Right Now Frederick the Wise, he's an elector And again, the Holy Roman emmperor has these electors that they choose the pope. So they have quite a lot of power in the system. And he he loves relics, as we said earlier. So he's got nineteen thousand relics So you can pay him Go and see twigs from Moseses burning bush Thorns from the Crown of Thorns, Virgin's hair, dead babies, you name it, right. And it's a comic book collector sort of. Yeah He's comingb a guy. Yeah. And so if the Wittenberg is a major pilgrimage site. Okay. so between fifteen twelve and fifteen eighteen, Martin Luther is a professor of the Bible U so he gives lectures And he's always reading the scriptures. Um, And he starts to get increasingly pissed off by indulgences because the Catholic Church at this point has Gone mad Like it is so corrupt. And But also so much of the Catholic Church' rituals and this is the kind of philosophical understanding icism is that Over hundreds and hundreds of years, the church can develop rituals that become themselves godly and divine because the pope is speaking himself to God. So if the Pope says something that can become Scripture that can become Holy. Yeah. And he's basically reading the original text and all of this stuff. none of it's in there. Yeah. So he's just, I don't know why we're doing any of this, but it's the first hum actually. Yeah ye. Hum actually. Yeah, it's one of the biggest hum actuallyies. Its one of the loudest hum actuallyies. The whole of Europe heard him say hum actually. Yeah H actually The hum actually that traveveled aroundound the world Martin Luther. So in fifteen seventeen, theurch the Catholic Church had tasked, a guy called Johan Tetzel, who is the Grand Commissioner for indndulgences in Germany That's his title. He was told to collect money because St. Peter's Basilica needed a new roof or was a fucking say like he's a con man essentially is the pros and cons of the Catholic Church It's corrupt. they're getting it? They're extorting They they're building a shitty they're building we don't know about any of the shitt eating peasants, but We do still have St. Peter's Basilica Do that mean? That's true? That's true U'm But There's also there's no corruption and there's shit roofs here, but You know, it's fine. Yeah, isn't it Yeah. Yeah, I guess so, but, you know d be nice to have some nicer weather thingsings. Would you r do like ultimately would you rather go wouldould you rather go to the Weerspoons in an old art echo cinema Yeah. Oh a flat roof pub. which was cheaper Okay those get with your dad. okay? or get with your dad. Yeah, that's not what Why is that relevant?ve just an ofverm I'll probably go to the oldteo cinema, right We're new I get my dad I sort of say you don't go whatever's nearest. cl. So Tetw claims that his indulgences are so effective that even if someone had raped the Virgin Mary he would be assured complete remission from perurpetory. R. So I mean, that is pretty this is the thing about Catholicism is that it does It does sort of encourage sin. Yeah Becauseuse you can get out of it because you can get outs of it. Yeah And it's like it it gives you unattailable moral standards. donon't wank No sexual marriage, stuff like that. And so then it's just kind of really encouraging you to be O edge. Yeah. and guilty and shameful. But also like if you go, oh, brilliant, well that it's almost, you know, you say, o if you break the Virion Mary you can get out of it, then that will encourage you to go, well, great, then I'll br break the Vversion Mary. Yeah. I' sry Sorry did that? Yeah Can I buy that now? ten Hll Mary'. It's basically a rate the Virgin Mary pass, right? I mean, the Catholic funeral I went to was my ex girlfriend's father, who I never met because they had a restrain order out against him because he was Catholic, right? Catholic Irish. And he would basically he would treat his family awfully. then he would just stories of like on the way to school, he just opened the car door and just pick up a homeless guy and say, let's give him a lift and then make my ex girlfriend just sit in the back with her sisters and be like You know, do a good deed Oh, right because it's like calmer. Yeah. and then, you know, He's been awful at home but he's giving the homeless guy a lift. The homeless guy by the way, didn't want the lt. Whereas He actually wanted to stay. He had quite a good spot outside the front of the VHS My point is he's forcing him in to try and get his own point Cl't get in the car now, would you? Cl't, you know because he he's he is seeing You know, his life through a series of like spiritual transactions. And then like the ultimate counteraction is where we'll come to Calvin who basically says you're either a sinner or not, you have no choice You't know you're fucked or not. Calin's my go. But doesn't Calvin basically say it's predestination? Hashtag my presence. From when you're born, all of your sin is already counted up. Yeah. So you're already going to hell. No, no, no, no, no There's nothing can do No no, no, you can prove you can prove's nothing you can do, but there are signs that you are Ristance. U so Yeah, Johan Tetel is basically giving you know, rape passes out And Luther goes, I don't know about this. And Tetil maybe comes to Saxony, I think and start selling it and it's like a fucking travelling circus. Right. So This what's this thing he has a thing about he has a saying like, oh, if there's coffers in the coin , I don't know. it rhymes. I can Again, I'm Prestant so I don't I don't really have any trouble poetry. Rhyming. What do you mean Why are you rhyming? just say what you mean U In fifteen seventeen Tetel's knocking about and Luther is going, you know what? I think this is all Boocks. I can't remember what bit of the Bible he's reading where he has his revelation But he's like Oh this is actually what this is about It's not about the Catholic church. about the church rather. So he He then writes these ninety five theses And white guy with the manifesto basically. It's the first manifesto Oh that's what it is. As soon as the coin in the coffer rings the soul from Purgatory springs Right, Nce. Okay. So he writes on thirty first of october fifteen seventeen, he writes to Bishop Albraach to protest this And the letter is actually called theisputation on the power and efficacy of indulgences, but that becomes the ninetiney five thesis and he's basically. So the night part this is letter about indulgences. Yes, right. That's all it is actually initally. That's all it is. That's interesting. And supposedly there's this great tale that he nails it to the door of the church in Wittenberurg, but apparently Hum actually didn't. Why does the pope whose wealth today is greater than the wealth of the richard cult It's not Martin Lher King We just P that out I have a dream that we will not pay indulgences. This church will look way more boring. Yeah, so it's not Martin Luther King but But so Martin Luther, does he nail it to a church door? We actually know someome people say it Martin Luther Monk, Martin Luther Hashtag M king. Yeah. Hashtag Martin lose a sllay King Cooing Martin Luther Cook Kking. But anyway, so I think what he does actually is he just writes some letters to some bishops to try and spark debate is encouraged He's playing devil's advocate.s' encouraged guy to play devil's advocate. Yeah This is your dad. Debate me.' debate me guys. Yeah. this a unicanboy's. It the first Charlie Coe. It is. First Charlie Cook. Yeah. He's using truth of logic to dest to destroy liberals.est. Yes, the Catholic church are a bunch of libtards. Luther with this whole story on both sides the right and the left, like the modern way that discourse happens so much of it does start here. Ccelling us communication, morality you know, all this stuff. claiming someone's a heretic that all kind of You can see that today basically. So On the fifteenth of june fifteen twenty, Pope Leo I sends Luther a papal bull which is like a just a I don't know why it's called that, Do it look like a ball? Its an order? It look like a letter? It's like an order isn't it It means a lot of in talalian O? my wife's on the ball. I quite like that actually My wife on the fucking bow She's been really angry because she's riding a bull I'm Right. So it's a red, isn't it My re Ral blush. Yeah is that what that means? No tamp onto T tap onto a block back back toable. We can't know Anyway, so Pope Lo sends That's a blob Luther letter saying reccant your ideas in sixty days or you will be extrommunicated, which means cut out from them from the church. and Luther we haven't really talked about Luther's personality But we may we'll do in the next episode. We'll do properly in the next episode, but his interest in Martin Luthher. He's such an important figure, but I don't don't think He's known that much with people like. I don't realize how poo he is. Yeah So he's like Gandy.' so obsess with shit. Another revolution t' done from the toilet. Yeah it is. Yeah. whichich the stuff he writes is absolutely insane. Its crackers. But we don't No one for such an important figure is weird that no one has any The average personman have like an understanding what he Ive' se see the stereotypes they know nailing to the door maybe Yeah. But there's nothing about its personality that. Everyone everyveryone, certainly where we are is a descendant of his actions. psychologically. Yeah. more Calvin than Luther, but we' into that. But yeah. so Luther gets the papal bull and he sets fire to it publicly' a showman amp Burley sets fied to a burning tamp on in december fifteen twenty And then in twenty one in January, Publiia the tenth excommunicates him and his work is banned And so he gets ordered to attend the Diet of Vverbs And a diet means a meeting. Yes. ' is a place. Yeah. The diet of worms. Yeah.'s notlie It's not Charlie's breakfast. fucking dog food, right? So this will this will find this will be a big crunch point because it should be said that Luther has gone viral. Yeah, right. H his ninety five Thses. he he means it just to be a discussion amongst academics, but it goes properly viral because' the printing press and it's in German. So here iss the first viral video.. Why are you praying? U He's got a lot of followers and he's getting quite cocky. He's Jordan Peterson. Yeah, he's destroying people in public Yeah ye with truth and logic Yeah. And so the Pope excommunicates him and then orders a showdown, like a big debate Yeah. Charlie Kirk versus Hasan Piker. Yeah you're gonna thash this out. Yeah yeah yeah. And the diet of Wms will cement Luther's reputation And we're going to get to that in the next episode, which is already on our patreon where for three pounds a month you get some indulgences Yes, you will be allowed safe page to heaven. My farts and Ajar are there. If you've sened three pounds a month, and your Your sins will be washed clean. simply three pounds a month. no one's really washing as a patient. but yeah, your sins will be absolved. You know, when you told your mum to fuck off Ths mon Th three pounds a month is basically aoning for you telling your mum to fuck off. Yeah. So that's on the patreon, along with the entirety of this four part series and and our bonus episodes This fortnight we'll be releasing our live show on the JFK assassination Ive recorded that in the empire That'll be on this one night at some point. And there's a whole host of bonus episodes. So that's on the Patreon, but if not, we'll see on Thursday for the continuation of the greatest event in world history, the Reformation. and the Holy man that is Martin Luther. Until then, goodbye