World War II and Trophy Survival

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You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responsse is set upp required compatibility and availability varies eighteen pllus Maradonna in eighty six, I mean, where'd you even begin? What can you say about Maradonna that hasn't already been said? He's black. he's not, but people haven't called him that, so I'm telling you no one, no one haded Aago. There were talented players on our team, but We weren't allowed to do what he could do It were like you were playing a different game I remember trying to get the ball off of him. You just couldn't ' he just held on so tight. He was doing things with a football that we just couldn't He was literally picking it up and bouncing it on the floor with his hands. You know, I put him up there with LeBron and Michael Jordan is one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Sadly, we were playing football. You know modern football it' all about the system now, the team. It's not like the old days, the magic where it you know it was just about just moving around, not even using your feet, just jumping up and punching it past the keeper He had the left foot of Push Gass. he had the right foot of Pelle and the upper car a George Foreman Football has rules and he did not stick to him ever I mean he took the rule book, chopped it up, racked it into a line, snorted it. Unbelievable. What a play. I don't know what drug he was taking, but he had cocaine all over his face. He was definitely the biggest inspiration in my life Iin history, joining me is the Ratio G Today I feel African. I feel disabled. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel pegged by trans men. That's me responding to comments on my Instagram re. The long road to Janian Fantino, the peeak press conference.. We're talking about the history of the World Cup. It's World Cup Fortnite the World Cup is on, I think as this goes out. I hope that was the plan. It would be very stupid if it wasn't. we' have just missed it? We've missed it.ers might have might the end of the World Cup, The fee is over now the history of the World Cup. We've completely ruined this. This is going out during the England test summer. and it's a four part series. We'll be joined by the upshot Probably they're in our sphere, I'd say. I think so, yeah. or I don't know, just Having a plan Have a podcast rese But ultimately you still just talk about people being gay and autistic. and pedos and pedos. Yeah. It's paying a full time researcher just to talk about the Nazis pedoos being gay. Yeah exactly That's the sphere of You can we jge everything else. We'll just talk about how theyre pedoos and gay and Nazis. Okay. But they did that but for sport., Brilliant podcast, They'll be in next episode. but we're breaking the World Cup down to four parts I'll say now this is one of my favourorites. I mean I think It's amazing doing the research Yeah, it's been sort of fucked the beginning. People talk about the World Cup' gotone corrupt,' basically. It was founds the least corrupt it's ever been. It's got less corrupt over time. Qata was the cleanest worldorld Cup there's ever been. It's crazy. out the gate, just pure evil. Pure evil But founded on a on a mad promise. Yes. He wanted to make a pure World cup. Who's who? Jules Rem. Yeah, the guy who founded it. Jge we'll get to. Obviously this story begins in I'd say My favourite time and yours, eighteen nineties Europe Don't pull that push off the gate. Pulling me down with you is us to traversal. We've hosted a podcast gate for a year and a half There's only so much distancing you can do now from this. Iarely knew him. The comp distance you operated. Yeah, no, he says some wild stuff. He says some stuff, you know. you know, I went out to leave some shots. Just because you're bowling Doesn't mean that I'm you. No, what happened to your epise So we start this story in the eighteen nineties Rather the guy that starts this story is a guy called Jules Remay.. A Frenchman a mad Frenchman. Yeah O his head. Off his nut.. He's born in eighteen seventies in a small village in France. It's the seventies. It's not the seventies, it's the eighteen seventies Um But as a young man, he moved to Paris and in the eighteen nineties, he begins breathing in the air eighteen nineties Europe R. A lot of mad ideas It does M of ship there's some mad ideas around. Yeah You know, phrenology, the idea that you could see a criminal just by looking how how long his f arms. It's the golden age of ranking races. Yes, which Chat refuses to do. Yeah, but YouTubers do, tier list. you know. If we're gonna rank races now, let's do a clip for the S youve got S t eight B tier, C tier, okay Wh let's see colour Nice left that one. fair enough. I thought we could do a little clip there. What have you got found Charles? He's an obese baby unnamed from nineteen oh four It's like the unknamed soldier. But the think it surives eleven hours alth the bab looks older than eleven hours. They don't start smiling tntil about three, four months. I don't like until they're at least two Um in a normal way. Yeah So that's that's the s ye, the that's not that's not eleven hour, baby.ine Hit this fat brother it' sort of M Yes L So we're in the eighteen nineties and Jules Romay is a French lawyer. I think he's had a pretty shit amateur is? It should be. It's a slur. Not Jul's Rimmer, Charlie. What is muckrack? Get that off the screen. Get that off the screen. Is that one of your disgusting sites? muckrack dot com So Jules Remay is a Frenchman who I think maybe been an amateur footballer for a bit. and when he moves to Paris, he realizes that everyone's very poor and he gets sad about that. And also this is the era of amateur football. Yes. So you can't do it, you can't compete if you're being paid. And I think Yes, and certainly in English sport and culture, there's a lot of respect for the amateurs. the class thing as we talked about the cricket series. Yes. It's the more noble thing is to not do professionally do it for the love of the game, prorofessionalism Ituins ruins it. It's pro you. Sorry phrenology. Yes. Y prorofessional phrenonology. It's like, that's working class phrenonology. Yeah. That's not the gentleman. The gentleman does it. I don't take a fee when I conduct my phrenological experiment. You're doing it as an exercise in honor, in curiosity, a gift to the world. Yes. too professionalize it would be to ruin it. To ruin it. It would take all the love out of it that I have for it You know, don't make your hobby your job. Yes. I'm not a phrenonology prostitute. No, no. God, no. I'm a phrenonology pimp, but you will use a lot of prostitutes in your experiments O someone needed a c a copy of what was going on. big are their heads? You know is that why? Is that why they're a prostitute? Is their head too big? I'm not drawing any conclusions, but I am an author now.. Anyway, so Jour Ret is in eighteen nineties Paris and a lot of other crazy ideas are going on at this time. Who's around? This is the birth of sociology. In Paris. eighteen nineties France. This is the Belle Poc. This is fantasy eclect. Yeah, it's funny that's where it all came and Bella Pqu means good times. goodood timees. Yeah. You view it as the good timees. Yes, exactly I called it the Bell of Pock U yeah, so this is but what's very funny is that the stereotype of the kind of brooding depressed French nihilistic intellectual. Bt cigarette. Yeah, Sociology is invented with a text in eighteen ninety nine by a guy called Durkheim and the book is called Suicide. Right. And it's about how does have a subtitle? No. It's just called suuicide. And it's like suicide is not just a mad when you are mad, it is because the world is leaving you And he basically he frames suicide as a like a result of soci sociological stuff rather than just a mad c What is a response to your So basically he takes a lotad of data and he finds that Protestants kill themselves more than Catholics, obviously Right, We're not a burden to the state No because they have because they have less ties to the community. But they're less involved, it's less about the family. it's about coming together. It's more individualistic So he sort of there's nothing more indivigidistic than killing yourself. Y. the ultimate exxactly. So But he finds that Protestantis is more than Catholics, which then sort of goes against the idea that it's just because you're a mad cun that you kill yourself. So this is the birth of sociologyes. Right. It's explaining suicide That's the that you're just mental. Not that you're just mental. Right. Although that can happen, I'm sure. So to place I mean, FIFA was founded in nineteen oh four, to place that is after suicide is explained in eighteen ninety nine and it's before Fran's Rifle jumps from the Eiffel toower accidentally commit suicide. it's suicide if you have to mean it if you're doing it suicide. Yeah, he thought he could fly So he wasn't suicide. No Well it was. What's the definition of suicide? I don't know Do does right, Charlie's just Google does suicide require intent? And Saricinans have Aarans have cop blocked us defin defin Defined suicide It's the act of intentionally causing one's own death. He They't commit suicide. Nith. What's the word for accidentally killing yourself? Unintentional self inflicted death M M adventure. it was a it was a misadventure. Yeah The misadventures of France Reichs Unintentional self inflicted death.. Yeah, so FIFA was founded in nineteen oh four Heo, I'm Dorian Linenssky from Margin Story. And I'm Ind Dun. We're the host of a podcast that tries to tell the truth about the political terms that we use today, None of the tribal bullshit, none of the irrationality, none of the hysteria, just accuracy and laughs as we try to understand the world around us We dig into history to tell stories that explain why we are where we are today. And we're very excited that we get to do this on stage as well And soon we will be doing it at our biggest ever live show. Yeah, O september first in the Union Chapel, London, come join us there for a night of laughs, maybe a few tears, and just a general feeling of moral vindication. There's a link to my tickets in the show note, and the good news is if you're a patreon, you get a fairly substantial discount. So if you've been thinking of signing up, now's a good time We'll see you that Forfore this, football is a game that is sort of barely uh international England played Scotland in the first international match in the eighteen seventies and it Pish people at this point. Yes. where it starts off, right? Yeah. And it comes from the traditions of there's been medieval traditions early where you just have a big pigs bladder beat the shit at each other and the ball sort of nearby. Yeah. Go to the Alstone where Josh Peters from game It's just a guy it's just a horde of m one counting like is when people try and talk about football. like early signs of football. Like FIFA always try and to say foot was invented in China. You notice this? Be they hate to give it to the w they hate well they hate England. Yes as French Federation. Yeah. and they're pissed off that we invented it. Yeah. And they'll always say shit like it actually started in China when no, they were kicking heads down the stairs. Yeah, that's not the same. That's not You can't say that that's early football. But then also this this is very funny how this so this is we're watching footage of the historic Derbyshire football match where someone throws a ball into a massive brround beats the shit out of you. it's quite funny. is l sixteen sixty seven. This is basically this is what the Spanish think is English football. Yeah. This is This is cle This is Sam Alladise. Yeah oriitially. But there is a link to this. our approach to England football is because We do those start This is we started with this. get get. get rid of it. in Yeah. Like a lot of Spanish footballers when they come over to England, they realize that that In Spain, you don't Wela slide tackle the same way. In England we applaud slide tackles more than anything. Yes If you get stuck in, it's like That noise, the crunch. Yeah ye. That's what we believe in. Yeah. Do you imagine there are positions at all in the showrove tide? I don't know. I think the ball has been completely incidental. The level of tactical sophistication someone would have to have. I don't know if it's zonal I think it's onal. Is it the Gengan press? Is it like I think if you' a man marking someone in that cord I think that's hate a hate crime if you attack some in that way. So that yeah, the noise of a slide tackle in there's no greater sound. Yeah There's no greater sound than Pil Bab U I guess unintentional self cestrating himself on the poll on the goal post against Chelsea in nineteen ninety eight Anyway, Jul Ray is doesn't found FIFA, but he's a knocking about. The founding members are like who are the founding members? France, England go no this is woke nonsense. Yes. So it's France, Belgium, Denmark, Netherland, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland. German are similar to the EU Yes, but we ignored them. begin with because we think we're better than them. and then we come crawling back Yes, yes It's the same sort of. And I do find it fascinating the tension between England and France where and I would actually make a link to Protestant and Catholic cultures. Please where England sporting tradition of inventing sports. Yes. having a laugh. N taking it that seriously, it's more of an excuse to get out and drink. Yes comes from the Protestant individual sort of you can come up with your own rules. It's a village thing, you kind of self organize. and the French, they don't come up with their own things, they love a federation. There's Olympics, FIMFA I bet they're the ones involved in the tennis. Like any of the England invents the sports and of the French run a corrupt bureaucracy that runs like the Catholic Church or the EU. Yes, exactly. Yeah. And that's the huge tension with the fucking break from Rome Brexit early fucking FIFA is that the European Federation We think it stinks basically. Yes. We can never really fit in. So they found this and the even goes, no, that's Catholic book. Yeah becausecause it's also like you're taking it too seriously almost It should be's a laugh. Yeah Yeah. Well, we're all just having a bundle in the street b guysys I don't know why you're making why are you making it gay? Why are we all wearing suit of smoking talking about So but initially it's all tied to the Olympics. Yeah. Initially it's FIFA tries to start a tournament with just like Switzerland and Sweden and shit and everyone's saying that Rub fuck off Then they start organizing it in the Olympics and Uruguay win the first two titles in the Olympics. Now it's all amateur.. And I suppose the footballers at this day and age U it's a bit like Raygun. in the Olymp dancing? Boy it's pure Yes is untouched by commercial reality. Or professional discipline. Y. It's much more of an expressive Yeah you know, early form of the the sport or art form. And it's only when, you know, the Europeans start getting involved And it becomes a sort of commercial reality. something else becomes ye. the kind of the innocence has gone. Yes. the idea of I'd say Ray Gun is a noble savage Bakanc. I imagine in a hundred years when break dancing is this huge commercial enterprise, we will look back and Ray Gun saying that was actually the goldenak dan. What have we lost What have we lost? She was pretty pissed off with how people responded to it. She sued people. Yeah. Now what is she sorry, can we what did she say she seems she was exploring mental health was she that what's going because she made it in so surely she wasn't Why was it so funny Because it's like someone had asked me to break ods the minute before Olympic rake dancing. Top ten Iis ray danc her face.ike she looks like she's kind of She backacks it, you know,s it's a woman who's had too much chardonnay a Hendu and then starts just, you know, they go to an urban club and she starts doing this. Yeah, Tameing the Cobra. I mean this is fucking Will Ferrell stuff likeight, you know, there's also it's kind of break dancing Yeah. I mean, that's not a good move. It's breakdancing Carol ye, the moving your hand towards your legs like that that genuinely And I don't mean this is for smart as well. Guinely I could do this I could do this. And I did breakdancing as we've discussed. Yeah for two terms at university. So have you got some of these in your locker? No, she's doing things that the break dance community don't agree with Um yeah, it just it looks It doesn't seem to be any physical skill involved Anyway, Yeah. this is what I imagine The early the nineteen twenties Uruguayan team were like right And that they were like best's ever been, But it's the twenties. I imagine it was Aro shit is great. But they win gold in the nineteen twenty four and nineteen twenty eight Olympics. Now, so that is why when FIFA now this J' Re guy, he becomes the president of FIFA in nineteen twenty one, I think And he's like, we've got to getid of this amateur thing We have to pay them The Olympics are like no That would ruin it. But then he so he goes, fuck it I'm going to start a tournament, a breakaway tournament And he had fought in the First World War, and he thinks, what if there's a football tournament that would replace war? Right, Straight Eururovision Basically. Yeah Yeah. Eurovision's around, of course, at this point. Eurvision's the oldest tournament go. In England it started in the sixteenth century with just a bunch of straight blokes sort of beating up gays in the street. which wast. That's the original Eur. founding principles. really swed. It has completely changed. I don't watch it anymore because it's changed too much. from a village in Derbhire beating the fuck out of a gay bloke. rightight? That was the original Eurovision. They took a gay bloke out a window and then they all scrbbled to beat him up, right? It's now un gotes. It has yes. English c. you did you watch the English version of Eurovision this year? I genuinely computer says no whatever it's called. Yeah. I genuinely wanted to emigrate watching that Wh Europe No, it's anyway I genuinely what were ashamed. I was deeply ashamed that this is our country. I genuinely thought about joining the fucking Unite the Rally United the Kingdom rally when I saw this. It was bad, but it's better to do silly than serious. because before we used to get knocked out when we're singing ballads and that's embarrassing to be like, my loveugh and heart. I' think's No, I don't think it's embarrassing. It's more embarrassing It'sess embarrassing to do weird shit and come last Be we just know we're coming lastost. But do think we should take it more seriously There's nothing wrong with doing the bat. It's a gay competition. Do you think we should put Harry Styles up and do? Why don't we? I don't know why. Why don't we just try to win it's just fucking we'd clean sweet. Like we can't win the actual World Cup, the the World Cup We could easily win this.. We've got Hie Styilles. We've got all. We've got fucking Paul McCarney P Paul McCarney on E and Joh, you know But I guess the truth is it's like the early worldorld Cup it's about amateurs, right? It' the love Iess we not too much of a professionalized music indry is the actual criteria for being in Europe. The Truth is the reason why the UK, though we produce the best music by far compared to Europe become last in Eurvision every year What's going on there, the dissonance is we've got such a professionalized music industry. Yes. And it's so easy if you're talented to become professional here because it's such a rich scene comparatively Yes If you're an amateur You have to be complete crap Right? Yeah. Whereas in Romania The greatest singer in Romania is still an amateur. Yes they put them forward and it means something. But this is very much The greatest singer in Romania is probably a sex lave.' be real. Let's be real about it. Thanks for keeping it real. Let's be real about it, okay. No, the British entry into Eururovision was a disgrace and it's the first time I felt like joining a United Kingdom rally And if if they got a vox. I don't know if the United Kingdom are talking about Euroision No, they're not but they should like the opposite should be. It might be the oppositeibe to Eur vision Well I can't do this at the Palestine, right Where's the march for I don't know if that was the number one s I't think Elon Musk was zooming in to say your visual was a disgrace. This is how far this country has fallen You know Mum, no computer. I do think there's a lot of links to Eur vision and our approach to it where we're not taking these tournaments seriously because we have P McCartney. We have too high opinions of ourselves there will be what will happen similar to football willll finally take it seriously and we'll get beaten and it will be national embarrassment Yeah Yeah, that's why we need to get Paul McCartney out which take it seriously. Yeah, win it and then then go up fuck it will look my le with Harry Sttyles, Pul McCartney a Lap. That's just fucking fuc just fuck off. Yeah. We're better than you. because we need it now. we're in the toilet. Yeah. If imagine if we got we gotarry Silles Paul McCartney and Du Lapa and Elt John out Medley, eight minutes and then they all just left going fuck off. Yeah and we made fun of everyone said you were never going to make it stupid and go back to being a d O of them was a assistant for a d fucking in the b Marino football team. ' got another job. Yeah, then the Bulgarian woman' like aangaanganga Have you seen that? I thought it was quite offensive. I thought it was incredibly offensive w the winning Eurision is it's like the crazy frog's Indian or something. it's incredibly offensive anyway Israel came very close to the winning. that would have been absolutely hilarious. It was so close because I was watching on the night and so many boozs in the room, but they came second on the audience vote swept up in the audience vote. It's interesting. Well, if I may, I think it might be because There are people who really support Israel full stop. so they might not even be watching the show, but they want to support Israel in any case. J you know, we did a podcast earer today, the are lot of the policcast we do, and that was the point I made. and now he's just raised it as if f's his own. R Charild, I don't think you should get political Charla. I have raed. He just said what I said on another podcast and it's his own opinion. Shameless. To the person whose opinion you took. If you're doing that, the person whose opinion you took can't be in the room You have to do that on your other podcast although because he was in the room as well. Yeah. So you guys in the smokking area of a pod. Yeah. So Uruay anyway, so this Jel Rume guy, he's like, let's build a tournament this professional We will actually pay the players fuck off the IOC and so we get to the first World Cup, which is held in Uruguay And they'd won the Olympics tournaments in nineteen thirty. So that's why you're going have four stars in the badge Yes, Olympics twoor cups. Which is like, well, all right. What's the rules then? Well we can all just asks me anything. I got fucking cholate frosties, find to meet a swimm badge. Yeah, they might as well be a swimming badgees. put a st for swimm badges. Yeah. They might as well be fucking Bownie cup badges. Anyway, so thirteen teams compete, Egypt were' going to compete they didn't they missed their boat. the boat ph up? Not today Now that's a big notot today actually, not today An iconic notot today. Not this month. Yeah. In history is great notot todayays, that must be the vote for the first World Cup. We should do that. We should do a list of history is greatest not todayays. So now Mexico and the United States. Argentina, Bolivia, Brazil, Chile, Paraguay, Peru, Eur Oviously, Belgium, France, Romania, Yugoslavia.. Now more European countries are invited, but they all say no. Why is it in Uruguay? Where is that? Fair enough. They seem what even is that country? And then it's also in the aftermath of the Great Depression. So Uruguay offering to like pay people's transport. Yeah. But still people Uruguay is still a relatively new country, It's a tiny country as well But I guess fact they've won the two Olympics, that's like A huge sense of national pride. Yes for them And it must be said that their playing style, the reason they were so good, supposedly is that they They weren't throwing a ball out of a window They were passing it revolutionary. Yeah, it was. They were passing it like sideways. Yeah. inccredible. So they had a massive rivalry with Argentina I mean, South American football rialries it does take another level, I think. And throughout this whole story They have It's never a laugh whichich is funny when you consider that when we get into the sevent. We've got a lot of rialri, there's a lot of hoaganism and there's a lot of bad stuff that happens with British fans, but it's it's fundamentally having Banter doing Coke and pit beers. But here it's like They're chopping referees heads off. They're calling all the other team goat fuckers. Yeah But also bear in mind that like European rivalries, when Germany played Holland in the nineteen seventy four World Cup final, Germany had occupied Hlland twenty years previously thirty years previouslyast Holo Cast is the Holocaast. sorry, that's patron. That's our patron. Dad not Hollow. How that hollow cast be thy name? U They'd holocusted them. Yeah. And then they're just like, oh yeah it's of isn't it? It's just a game you. And these guys are assassinating defenders for scoring an own goal. No one's laughing though, are they? No, it's intense. Anyway, so Uruay and Argentina hate each other so they get to the final And they they don't trust each other. so they have to I think the first half Argentina play with their ball that they b Yeah like their' three Yeah and Uruguay play with their ball and Uruguay end up winning. I mean that people Rrival fans are chucking rocks at the players. Yes. So I think at one point the players are chucking them back. There's a black player Pretty much early on everyone they don't have the most enlightened opinions about black players this day in Augu Arina. I would posit. But back then in the thirties there so they're throwing rocks at the black player, thenen the black player pick up the stones and throw them back to the crowd. Yeah. Then also there's a guy called like the maimed one. What is he called? El Mano The maimed. He'd lost part of his right forearm in an accident with an electric saw Dpite this disability he scores Eurov by' first everor Cup goal Amazing, but Do you agree we should sort of Talk these titles off This is not a worldld cut win if one of your players It not disabled. It's basically the Paralympics. Yes, it is the Paralympics.. They win for two and they the first people to lift the Joule Reme trophy, which is this fourteen inch gold statuette of Nike, the Greek goddess of victory That's where that comes from. That's where it comes from. So that's the first World Cup nineteen thirty. Eur I win, but who gives a ship? Yeah. they do. Yeah they do. Come on, a big deal. Now things start to get really interesting, okay? Because this is the long road to Qatar. This is the long road to Giani in Fantina. Yeah, this is long road to I am gay, I am retired. didn't say I'm retired No He didn't say that. sorry but it' basically. todayoday I am retired. I am retired. Amazing. an Italian millionaire who had ginger hair once He says that he feels like a disabled gay African It's amazing. There's a heckle put down. It's pretty good. What I think that's racist. Well today I am African. Anyway, so the next World Cup is in nineteen thirty four, otherwise known As's Mussolini's worlds we haven't jumped into the hot bath, Mussolini.'s' hot bath Yeah. It's D deelious bath.'re say We'll be doing Mussolini, but he's the first he's the compoutra mother of fascism. And though he's a fascist leader because he's got an Italian name, hard to taken seriously, he does sound like a type of pasta. He does Mussolini. everyone does. Yeah tomato al Musin fish past. deellicious. Yeah. Mussolini, the fascist patient zero, the sourdough starter of fascism. she needs to get, you know, put some respect on his name. Yeah, yeah. peopleople don't Pe forget because of how much the Italians fucked it You'll forget that he was the first guy to ever do it.alk He didn't have anyone to look up to. He ran so Hitler could walk. So hiter walked So hitler could gooose step. Yeah ye. ye. Mussolini' the go. the original. okay. Now he Mussolini basically, I don't know how he gets to the World Cup from from FIF. But when we're talking about FIFA is his corruption. I don't think anyone really wants it at this time. No one knows what it is. But he does because he sees it. he's a visionary. He is a visionary He's like, can I can see that hosting a tournament would put Italian fascism on the map and it would be a great to I am fascist. Today I am fascist. Today I am Nazi. U So the so thirty four World Cup That had qualification for the first time. thirty two nations are competing. There are no group stages So it was just You lose fuck off fuck off. So like the US the US. came all the way over by boat. match against Italy seven one last home fuck off out the window. See you later. Now so we can't see any footage of this, right No this is too early. really don't know what sort of Well, Italy at this time are supposedly a very good team But Mussolini doesn't want to let any chance of him not winning the World Cup Yeah like go to waste. So he basically he rigks the entire tournament So all the he's got like He makes it. he thinks that full stadiums will show how good fascism is This episode is brought to you by Starbucks. That is fire. Whoa, that's good. This might be the drink of the summer. Okay, I like this much too. I'm not worth it, okay? Try it for yourself. Starbucks refreshers concentrates are coming home. Find them in the coffee aisle and make it yours. Wantanna know the real story of how Oasis made Britain mad for it, how friends turned us ono coffee culture and super layered hair. 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Listen, right now, wherever you get your podcasts Right now American Friction So there's like u So foreign players are banned from the SirR season. and then what he does is he takes South American players who are really good A these basically renationalizes them. So they called the O There's a lot of Italians in Argentina messes in an Italian ar is is this is pre Wld W I. So this is fine fine. So it's fine ye fine immigration. It's fine. If you see an Argentinian with a German name, like who's that Argentinian footballer who's got a German like Reichhard or something Yeah you're just like, right, okay, well what's your grand that's Anway. They were They were managed by a guy called Vittoria Pozzo who was a kind of supposedly like a early visionary, managerial genius.. He basically was a fascist on the training page Well, this is what's weird. I've always found this weird about Italian football. Maybe it comes from this is it doesn't make sense that Italian football culture Italian football leagues are all about defence and unity and structure The Italian footballer They prioritize the defender above all else. Yes. If you think of Italians, you think of Ciolini, you think of Catacci Can ofaro Maldini, you think thoseose are the great Italian players. But why you don't think of Italia Italy as a defensive nation. Yes you organize. Yes you do. If you just eat Italian food for a week R? You're blocked up. Nothing's coming out.'s getting through there. Pasta. Nothing's getting through there. That's why they don't have pacy wingers. Yeah, exactly You got it' fucking fat mafos. Yeah, lasano in a subject. Nothings getting there. I see it's coming out No, yes, you're right aird clash though, because you would think it would be much more free flowing and sort of like loose and like No but the emotionally No but it's shit housery, it's diving. It's not taking responsibility for anything. Okay you know it is Italian, you know, the Catanat show which is that's Aragos Saki in the eighties. Yeah. He takes he takes Christ's total football and makes it boring it doesn't feel like an Italian thing to do to take a Dutch thing and make it boring. It's upside down. How are the Dutch total free flowing football And the Italians are rigid boring football. I don't know it makes it make sense when you say like that, But the Italians will do anything to win. Yeah. Okaykay Yeah, Wh which is why they're obsessed with defense and strength. And cheating R because this is born in Mussolini's world C I guess the Netherlands has a lot of weed. It's very like'sree In the seventies you. Yeah. So Mussolini says that Gules Romt's trophy is not big enough and commissions a copper del Duce, which is like six times the size Like life size a trophy. You can get a photo up, Charlie. I mean, it's the links to theott of day though is just nothing's changed. No Trump getting a massive fucking award from BefA. It's just It's the exact same this corrupt guys. The World Cup was always in the seriesason, rightight? I mean, it's a nice troph It was six times taller than the Jul Remet trophy.. Now one of the Great Teams of the era. somehow Austrian. The Austrian wonder team of the thirties they We were kind of there was this wasas it coming off the back of the Viennese coffee house of Lraw? What I was saying was that Austria at this point, this is three years pre anulous. four years pre anulous. Right Difficult time for Austria. Okay, who are we? Who are we? Are we just Germans Yes. Yes, you are. As we've always said, we are We are pro angelists as. The Angelist was the greatest thing the Nazis ever did. Yeah, We both agreed that if Hitler stopped at the Angelists great. Pil Surely, he would be remembered relatively well. One of the finest politicians ever lived He did what he can was the latest off. Eximents. Hler's early stuff was fine. okay When he started fucking kiding it on the Etern frront. all right Its bit weird for me, but too rich for Whaty have happenedens just guitars, man? And melody The melody of Crystal Night Anyway. Yeah, the Austria obviously had to had the Vietnamese Vietnam the malody of crystal No. No, we're talking the ang. Don't you snuck that in. Yeah. That's what I mean is that you can't distance yourself from you can pick up. Oh the golden Aays have crystaled now. Yeah Anway that's Pablo Honey. Yeah Anyway, the Austria I'd obviously had the Vietnamese Mozart opera or that been the high point of culture and then it was all kind of gone into the gutter So the one thing they had at this time was this amazing football team. And again it's the thirties. So how good at football are they They're wearing scaffolding boots, probably They wearing a full three piece suit. Exactly, well, the referees are generally wearing three piece suits. Hugo Meisel is the architect. He's the kind of Austrian guuardiolo. We look like two players up front. This is what they're wearing. This is the starting the strike force. This is the football boot. Yeah. H forpala, the player with a brain So he was the visionary coach who created the Wunda team. They were unbeaten between thirty one and thirty two. How many games did they play? donon't know. So there a there's a guy up front called Matya Sindalar who was like the Austrian Ronaldo of the thirties. I'm listening U the paper Sin man Right? He was had a slight build and he was an incredible goal scorer, supposedly. But they so they were they probably peak just before the World Cup in the team is credited to being the first national team to play total foot So I guess that is also coming from But again, it's the liberalism of Vienna, right? That's what's Well, it's also, I guess Austria is a Catholic country, It aspires to beauty in way Germany, the Pritans don. Right,. But also this total football in the thirties is just passing it sideways Yes. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.ike if if we're in the stands still someone has to think of that No I know. No least to be off their head on Calling it your head on drugs to come up with that. What are you doing? Get rid of it. P who been up there? Are you gay?? Why are you passing it dr? to see that' simple now but at the time. Yeah. you had to take have an almost Ayahasa trip to see that you could pass hang on. Hang on. you can go another way apart from the other directions on the pitch. Yeah No, but I would say calling it total football cheapens total football whichich is I love original Totle v Yeah. I mean The Swed is right back At the firstroph turn is one of the greatest photos in history. What because he's's he's still facing the way Crof was. Full body cast afterwards. Guinely. Cro turns in. Dougl' Alec Hume. Yeah Alec Douglas He. Which isays around is it? A Alec Douglas Hume. Yeah. Look, he's still he's like a computer player. Yeah. it's like a video game where the guy just sort of runs into the cheating s cheating So now Austria the wundnder team, they don't do very well in thirty four. I think they get a third place playoff. should we should talk about the actual tournament itself because Mussolini there's like a referee who's Swiss, I think, C't remember is called basasically At one point in all the Italy games Oh there's sry there's a Swedish referee called Ivan L Ecklland. Do he had dinner with Mussolini the night before the final? And then in the game in the game intercepts a pass in the opposition that werere thre on goal and just pass it to one of the Italians I mean, it's awesome, but it's naked. It that twelfth man Yes. It's the tactics. It's like it's like literally at. I mean, Guadiola does that thing where you tr to have an overload, right?. So it makes you feel like you're always playing with an extra player. Who's using the referee? Yeah This is another, you know I think it was Sone Marinia might even said eventually the goalkeeper will be an outfield player. Yeah. like just have that extra overload. Eventually the refree U T take your ref after to dner. Yeah. You know, it means you can overload the box. Yeah. send the goalkeeper up, send the referee up. get the referee up there the call to make the referee Um So yeah, the even Ivan Eckland, he not not only did he I guess this is so before VAR. Yeah, I mean I mean this is like we should You're all standing in the stands and it's normally Olympic stadium so you're so far from the pit. Yeah You can't see anything, nor can anyone. No one has glasses. I mean, no one can see anything. Anyway, get away with fucking anything. So when Italy beat Austria in the semis, Ecklland allowed a highly controversial goal. The Italian forward bundled the Austrian goalkeeper into the back of the net while ruling out multiple Austrian attacks for offside. Right. So you had like gohost off sides. He was like, yeah, that's offs sideide. Yeah There was't have a alignemment at this point,ne One of the goals had been like a Maradonna esque solo goal and the referee ruled it offside. There'd been no passing. that's offs side.ret awesome. I'll kind of write him Anyw how Ecklord F of the pod. So I mean a referee playing for the other team, you got to respect that. Yeah. That's legendary behavior. So Mussolin So Italy eventually win the World Cup partly. mean, I think they were quite a good team, but also Mussolini just rigged it. So anyway. Who knows? Once again, we need to strike all these world Cups Yeah it's a l load bolock. The first World Cup that really someone won was sixty six. Yeah We'll get to that next episode. Anyway, so he they win Mussolini hands over the World Cup and the Copperld the massive World Cup that he made this bigiger. It's sort of trophy larger, it's like a trophy part He asked the players what they wanted as a reward for winning and one of them said he desired nothing more than a signed photograph. so they all g give him that.. Some of the referees were basically then banned from ever refereeing again because they obviously take him bribes. What by Mussolini? No, by FIFA. Okay. But again, FIFA is basically totally in the pocket of Mussolini. Of course. So it's the first time a tournament's been taken by a country and on where we're going to use has not gone downhill It's not It's never, ever been anywhere anything but completely corrupt Sandblatter is the least corrupt leader of FIFA. But Infantino is finally just saying it I am gay. I am migrant worker. Fuck off I don't care. Yeah And it so U Weeks after the nineteen thirty four World Cup, the Austrian Chancellor is assassinated by the Nazis Which starts the Angelus. I did not know that he was assassinated by the Nazis. I thought it was pretty joyous. No, I still think the Angelus is fine. I'm sure there's no nuance there. No. I think he needed to go.. You needed to make way for the Angelus to happen. is what the people wanted. Whatever it takes for Angelus. Yeah, That's my political principles. There's a weird t shirt that you wear.s like it's quite confusing Yeah at the pro Palestine rally, they really didn't know what to make of that So two years later, Unite the kingdoms of Austral Germany just there with a half and a half Austria Germany flag Why have you all got union Jacks? So two years later Germany hosts the Olympics, the Berlin Olympics probably my favorite Olymp. Yeah. Yeahah. because there's more going on, right? You know, it's an iconic one. Yeah, it is. yeah. Now They let football back into the Olympics in thirty six and then they decide When do they decide where it's going to go? Oh, just before the in a big they decide it's going to go to France for nineteen thirty eight which is a snub to the Nazis now It must be said the Nazis we're always trying to get fafer They wanted to be in control of FIFA. Right. Be it was like a Swiss thing What have you found, Charlie? I was just seeing if Hitler was any good at keepP upPs. No historical record of Hitler ever playing football or attempting keepPIPs. No we don't know. Maybe that's why he did this stuff he did Yes because he was never he was picked last for the football team. You know, that can often lead to a lot of people wanting to prove themselves in lateater life. you know when you're picked last, maybe that was it. Maybe his lack of skills. If he was better at football, maybe. When you go to football as a kid? Good Yeahah, I naturally bad but I played a lot to the point where I'm good. Right, but not due to any sort of natural skill. Whereas I was like I was like a super sub, obviously, anire impact sub Heavy impact. Exactly well, yeah. because I was also I at JVC. That photo of me with Eemma Watson Imagine me that size coming on the sixty minute mark on the left wing wearing Aded ice cream predators You are a reen predator? because ye, I am to this day a queen predator. a Qeen bun predator Yeah, we don't wantanna be a bowl of cream around this predator so. No. I was a cream bun predator wearing cream predators on the left wing But I was also right footed. I was like a fat joke hole, right? And so you know people I'd come on in the last twenty minutes of the game. I'd cause havoc. Sloppy jokees. Sloppy joke hle Right? They had no idea what to do with me. It was a complete wild card. It was like a rhino charging down that. I had about three or four charges before I was too tred. That was incredibly tactically used. Yes. With the right coach, I was devastating If you were starting me, I would have to come off before hal time I was an impact sub. I was like a fat soul sha Okay I was like, only got sold jar of pickles? Bowly,. Anyway U Hlygony coleslaw. Olygoney Ceslaw? Yeah When I was a super sub, right U anyway, so I scored a free kick as well by my Kream Predators. Yeah. That's really, really fat guy My point is I had inherent skill. R. I was hamstr on the sidize of my hamstrings. R Right Yes, but Hitler wanted the Fafer because they wanted to glorify the Nazi regime. S same way want to Berl the Ompics, right So we'll get into it actually just after thirty eight World Cup but the whole there's an amazing counterfactual about what happens if Hitler took FIFA Yeah, but anyway, we're going what is that Well, it's a World Cup which is played along racial lines. sure Amazing counterfactual. which' quite funny Wait wait with the white team versus the Well, yeah. Oh the teams are racial. Yeah. So it's not the World Cup in terms of nations. Right right. It's the Worldup of races. It's race Cup I mean, you throw it on if no one else was I watch it. Yeah F w chuck down It's harmless It's not harm.'s h anyvel. It's pretty harmful It's pretty toxic stuff Now U So yeah, the thirty eight World Cup within the shadow of the Angelus. So Austria had this great team and then U What was that I's like o Okay That sounded like a I sound like a fart. No, it sound like you. I had a cat I think that a researcher. Mow. J just meowed at the back of the room I saidid Aia a team, now Chrross T a kind of tune or something Anyway, sorry about that. Austria had a great te. And but then they had they were they were made as one. They were made they made into Germany. So They had to su cddenly there was a They were no longer Austrian. They were Germany. had they ever been Austrians, another question. And then they had to cancel the World Cup enrollment. The Austrian foootball Federation was dissolved over night. I'd love to dissolve something. Well, that's like Gadafi campaigning for Switzerland to be dissolved. Right J disolesome A ses This is dissolved. My son's beaten up a Swiss bell boy. dis. goes the UN, abolish Switzerland. Yep. abolish it Has there ever been a father that's done more of this s? I aspire to be the Colonel Gaff when, I I' parent. Anyway So he dissolved theall Federation. Austrian footballers now have to play for Germany. so they come up with this quota system where like a certain amount of Austrians have to play in the German team, but it completely handcas how good the Austrians were. And then was he called Cindalar that the Austrian Striker. he he he so he there's a friendly between Austria and Germany This may be after the World Cup. I can't remember. There there's a friendly Uh he's the Austrians were sort of told not to school to embarrass the Nazi hierarchies Yeah know, Hitl' in the box. Yeah, right Cind the last scores U And then he runs over And he d he does like a, you know, u Adboyor run the lands. Yeah Yeah. he does that to Hitler. And he's like Yeah. Six months later, he's first found dead in his I mean you can't be doing that to Hitler. Don't do that to Hitler. Don't be like Yeah. You can't do that, right? So him and his girlfriend they die. they just found dead building. and then they officially it was carbon monoxide poisoning, but the Nazis justrolled all the records. everyone' like, Ohh Well maybe it was, I trust them. I mean, yeah, but to be fair, how many guys how many many people the Nazis kill the carbon monoxide poisoning, you know what I mean? Yeah you could frame The whole Holcaust is cart beure, isn't So ye you could. you could. Um anyway The thirty eight Well cu is is kind of operate the shadow of the coming war in Europe Italy win again because Mussolini says the motto for the World Cup is win or die. they win And then there's a they beat hungary wereere they good at that point? Hungary or good at some point. Yeah fucking what to say pushgas. Yeah, that's the fifties Hungary' keeper equipped. I may have let in four goals, but at least I saved the other team's lives The Italian players were again asked wh they like for winning the World Cup. they asked for lifetime rail passes. which does it work then win or die Seems to. Yeah Southgate. But I suppose Musolini is the opposite of South Gay, isn't Sounds it's trying to win through friendship. We've always fall short. Saskate's going on the fucking Jake Humphrey podcast about mental health. Yeah, it's like you need m a game of inches. Yeah. and I'm sure you get more than an inch. you're saying if you don't do it'll kill you and your family. Now what becomes very interesting is when World War two breaks out. Um Hitler obviously conquers Paris june nineteen forty. they want FIFA. right But FIFA are hiding out in Switzerland, which are neutral. So theyve registered their office in Switzerland. it's still there, right? It's still there. And obviously that's kind of like corruption ground zero. S. But that is part of the reason that they This my point is here their corruption kind of saves them. Right Because Hitler's trying to get FIFA. The Nazis want to control of FIFA They're looking for it if they had got control of FIFA When in ' forty five, the Americans destroy, you the country then FIFA would have just been eradicated as a Nazi institution and there would be no World Cup So it was quite interesting. Yeah, it's true actually. It would be tainted. So there's a guy called Dr. Ivo Shricker who I think s a good guy. Yes, dor. Ivo Sricker is Rime's like second in command FIFA He hides the World Cup. Is it him or it someone else Someone else has the World Cup the World Cup trophy is in Italy because they're the reigning champions. He hides in a shoebox under his bed. Oter Ottorino Baras hides it under his bed and then the Nazis are looking for the trophy. becausecause they're at this point they're selling off the entirety of Europe. Guring's looking for it. Yeah. He hides under a shoebox and then gets taken to Switzerland after the war. U he smuggles a trophy out of the bank where it's kept, took home, hidden in a shoeox under his bed until nineteen fifty, when he was able to hand it over to the Brazilian Federation. If The Nazis had taken control of FIFA They they had plans for a world cup an Axis World Cup Oh to Japan versus Japan, Germany for Gany. Yeah I guess The Axis World Cup is the opposite of the Paralympics Yeah then disabled people have been sent to camps. Well yeah, you could have put it like that. I just mean in terms of like not training camps. No, they're not training camps. It's like they so it's, you know, it's the Aan World Cup. So they would say it's the opposite of the Paralympics. Interesting, modern Nazis sorry to go off topic, but it's on the Nazi so it' still on topic theirir view of disabilities is like something that needs to be eradicated, right? What would their view with the new current mental health world of ADHD, depression, anxiety. There wouldn't be many people now. Exactly. I don't know. at what point, you know there's that thing that like vegans say, whereere do you draw the line? Yes, bees, you know, at what point horses, dogs. It's basically that with disabilities. If Nazis were in power, I'd be none of these fucking rainbow langers. I'm fine actually. I'm brilliant. I'll see things clearly U Yep, I can focus on hundred. Let's get rid of the ADHD.an ADHD. let's let's get rid of it. It's genetic Personally, I'd like a society where everyone who is' that middle band disabilities AHA autism. They're gone So you've only got you either normal orr because it was much simpler, fucked Because you can tell someone who's fucked. Yeah It's binary. Right. So because it's the blurred lightines. I can't handle bird lines. It's mull in between the lines. I can't handle that. Four four two Normal, fucked. Yeah Ey Can you park there Yes Tly really. Can I p there? No U No lanyyards. Yeah Anyway A well with that lanyard, you wouldn't need a lanyyard. A well with that lanyyard. It's the finailer story. Yeah. Please vote for me. So the World Cup is essentially saved by this guy Barasssini and Shricker and Reme because if as I say, the Nazis have found it, it would have been distroued and people had to be destroyed. And so it can restart after the war U is the is the next one in Brazil? U It can restart after the war in Brazil which is where we will leave this part and in our next episode we will deal with the rise of Pelle with the the nineteen sixty six tournament You know, the purest worldup there ever was So the birth of televised C cups being like a big thing Yes and like It's kind of now the players are coming into people we actually know now just starting to come into the kind of actual We' joined by the Ushot and other scholars who do research then call people Pedophiles anyway.. If you're a patron, you get all four parts of this series at once U And we a bonus what are bonus is this? we're talking about hooliganism We will be commenting live on bigiggest game the big game a big match. The grudge match of Switzerland versus Bosniaian and Herzegovina. okay. We will be commentating on it live. So I guess they can put it Turn the mute the TV Mute the TV And then put us on All right and hopefully we won't be out of sync Yes. I can tell you now that game will be Nil Nil, so we'll have to come up with a lot of stuff to talk about. but we we could get onto Bosnian history as I've long wanted to. Anyway, that's on the Patreon. we'll be doing that this fortnight. We'll be joined by the upshot next episode. And we'll see you for Pelle and Bobby Moore at next part from all of usool Goodbye Rrian Reynolds here from MintMobile, with a message for everyone paying Big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just fifteen dollars a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile. com slash switch. Upront payment of forty five dollars for three month plan, equivalent to fifteen dollars per month required intro rate for three months only, then full price plan options available tax and fees extra. SafL terms at MintMobile. com