Fixing Famous People Pitch Session

This is a paid message from GofunMe Met Huan Naa When a son was hospitalized for a viral infection Kwuan started to go fund mee to pay for medical expenses. It was five k to pay the bill for my son and I need only twenty two hours. It was amazing. People really trust and go find me. How did Juan raise five thousand dollars in less than a day He posted a short video on Go Fun Me, telling his story in thirty seconds thirty seconds, Be specific, be quick and tell what are you going to be using the funds for? I was nervous to do it because it doesn't feel okay to ask money, but you shouldn't be nervous. Sometimes you just have to do it and see the results. We were able to save my son's life. Thanks to Gof me that we still have my son with us Start your goofund Me today at gofundme. com That's gofundme. com. ofundme. com This message reflects one person's experience Evening buy is remorse. Buy a new car I'll be moving it. Let's get started. Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even't have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer' rejoice I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carbana L limitations exlusions apply S S seunday returned policy are cararbana This is Fixing Famous People, the podcast where two reality television producers pitch solutions to save celebrities in dire straits. But first, let's get to the prefix, your weekly pop culture roundup listeners Listeners, we're here Qeer. Good surprised, Happy prride Happy Pide.'s aa, Toma Cupa, Hay Pride. To quote me, I invented happappy Pride actually. I was there. I was the first brick throne at Stoong. Yeah, you sure were You know, in a world of turmoil, you know, the America two hundred and fifty concerts falling apart. gas prices are thirteen dollars a gallon. You need something that makes you know that everything is still okay with the world. And this week, I'm reminded that Gwyneth Paltrro is still an asshole and I'm good. I'm feeling good waking up feeling knowing that Feeling great She shows up, I guess on the Today showh. It doesn't it doesn't even matter where she went, but she just wanted to remind us that she's She's still going to m It's listen, it's giving vintage goop. You know what I mean? Like in the best like origin sorry She basically shows up on a morning show doing a recipe and then says, you know, she doesn't eat dairy, but when she needs to replace Dairy in a recipe she uses Arugula Do not adjust your radios. I did say reepplace dairy with arugula RIP Christa Rosa, who is truly choking on the words I just said. Chris is a little under the weather. I'm sick. And so when you make laugh too hard, I just like coughed up so much stuff. I'll try to be as unfunny as I normally am. No, I'm guys, I'm hanging on by a thread. so if' been here that I'm going to places that I shouldn't be like, no that it's because The Nikequill is like, drawing me in anyway. Not notot since my lisp has an injury or aur so much Yeah. So yeah, Gwyneth, again, still no confirmation that it's not pronounced Gwynet until I hear it from her face reepplace your dairy with Augula No wonder the world's falling apart. I mean, and what. But also like there's so many alternative milks. like you know what I mean? Like Yeah b toooo many, some would say. Arugal. You know Like an oat milk and almond milk a soy mlt like any. there's so many alternative milks already that arugula something that is so I mean,'s she's out of her mind. It's a leaf bitch. What are you talking about? But also like Aua is like peppery it's like It's not something that you can just like transform into anything like people are like, caauliflower can become anything because it's so like My old, it's like, that's not a arugula Not to mention I dated someone once who I pronounnce it Augula and it truly, truly made me heterosexual every time he said it. I was like, please, sir I know you're all waiting for it I don't know how to say this cisteners other than I am now. Friends, not in quotes with Mariska Harg. That's pretty much it I mean, Domin seriously when I'm telling you like Rndom videos of it on random people's accounts was pictures of you Like not even like you reposting stuff like just as I'm going through the internet I'm seeing videos of you on stage with her I was very happy to be able to nail a seat in the front row. on the stage or to nab it, not nail it. And so as such, I appear now in all of the advertisements for the show on their Instagram page. because they shot a shitloaded video on her opening night and I'm just there. It was great. She was great. king Gay as some of you know, I was a little nervous because she is you never know We love who we've only really seen do one thing and I'm pleased to report that she is not only She is as good of an actress as she is on SVU, if not better because she was playing a completely different role. It is Very triggery. The show is about Uh onaliving as it were. I did not know that the show is that heavy, but there are a lot of laughs in it as well. if that makes sense It's very audience participatory. I did get to interact with her. I don't want to spoil too much of the show for you, but at one point, she kneeled in front of me and put her hands on my knees and said, do I have broccoli in my teeth And I got to say thumbs up. you look fantastic She then suck her tongue out of her mouth and went just like that and I my pearls nearly passed out and then she ran across the stage and continued with the show. too which I said she motorboted your face. She absolutely How was the show? Well, Marice Cargetaine, are friends and she motorboats me on occasion She not infrequently Mot Touched her hands on your knees, Domino. Oh yeah. We have f many times She smells fantastic for many people who've been asking. There's videos of like at the end, she's doing her curtain call and she's like looking over to certain people that I'm assuming are like do some audience participation in the show. And I swear to you, I thought that she was gonna come over and hug. It does look like she's looking at. Yeah. it does look like that At one point I toyed with actually editing the video and making it It was coming toward me, but I had to quote unquote, put the phone down so I could properly embrace her She'll be there until july fourth weekend. I highly suggest, it's a very intimate, very personal play and seeing someone that you've already loved and know doing it was sort of very comforting. I don't I don't want to give too much away about the play because it's very good, but Yeah, that's all I'll say. I can't tell if people are like, no, tell us about it so we can go see it. But I didn't know anything about it when I saw it was real. No I's if that's your instinct, then stay with it. It's life affirming. I will say. You could go alone, you could go with a partner or a friend, like anyone, it's not for kids, but anyone would enjoy this And motorboat your faace. If she does, let me tell you, it's an experience. I still haven't showered. It was eight days ago. I went to the preremiere of Stop that That trarain, where I ran into Chris's partner as well while Chris was out of town working. movie stop that train, Staring RuPaul and like everyone who's ever been on RuPaul's drag race is as stupid and hilarious as you need it to be, and it comes out june twelfth And Rue showed up at the screening, which was Absolute surprise And remembering names. Delight Remembering everyone's name who she needed to address This is a very silly movie along the lines of airplane and naked gun, except everyone in it is a drag queen. and it's just It's what we need lies is it' it's absolutely what we need. It's going up against That new Steven Spielberg movie is it called Disclosure Day. They're both being released on june twelfth. So that train has started very different. They've started like an anti campaign where they' they're calling themselves STD. stop that disclosure And they also get to throw in a gonorrhea reference there. So Who amongst? Go see it. It's great. It's absolutely great. You know what else is great? Before we get to like the actual news Dononna's album is coming out on july third and she is doing what I believe is like a month long takeover of grinder So I as you know, I'm a regular user of theation. So when you go on and everyone there's like everyone in your neighborhood appears in like a tile form, like, you know on a grid and grrid number six or the middle of the second row for the past week, it's just Madonna And her dream click on her dream, herer dream. It's change the icon from yellow to pink on your phone. so she's been into my phone And you click on it and there's just material on. There's an interview between her and Bob the Drag quQueen there this week where she interviewed Someone asked her who the best fuck of her life was. I quote who just you down the best. She said, I'm only going to answer with people who are dead and my answer is John F. Kennedy Jr.. I mean, yeah and the room silent with gay gasps because they were like A, we're in the room with a human being who's had sex with John John. Yeah. G to hear that news after the right after the minis series just was popular. I was like sorry that. I mean I remember, I remember there was a I worked with the u hairdresser for like a long time and he said, he said the two people that I've seen in person that I've been like truly just bowled over by how beautiful they were He said that Naomi Campbell and John Joanedy Oh those two people. cut everyone's hair. Like this is someone who's like seen it all. interestnteresting. And he was like Joh John Kennedy I walked around went around the corner and like ran smack into him basically and he was like, I'm so sorry, but like, Oh my god. And it was like while he was like white hot and he was like he was the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. Do you have a person that was so beautiful, you couldn't U You dominate That's what I wanted. I don't know, I'm trying to think, who would it be? Do I have answer that I don't know I have to think I don't know. No, it's not a quiz. I mean, the first person that pops into my mind is u Shareon Stone. I met her when I worked on the Joon River Sh. we were both in our teens And uh, I just remember truly beautiful she was and Gotta say, and I've said this before, When I'm in the presence of Countess Luanne I feel like I'm looking at a lot of the world's great beauties. You gotta love Lou. I mean, this is for real though, yeah. This is a human being who looks beautiful on camera, but truly is better looking off camera If pos has has a presence and in like an ora around her Yes. that make the men go wild, if you know what I mean. wink We had a cast member on the A list New York that I produced several years ago was All Gay Housewives. His name was Rodney. and I remember I had a hard time having one on one conversations with him because at least at that time, he was the most physically attractive human being I'd ever had a conversation with, he is, of course, an underwear model by trade. and Brazilian, which never hurts. And he's the only man I can think of that like stunned me to silence. I have one, I have a man, but I can't say it because it's like it'll I'm not allowed Yeah, I can't say it yet is what I'm going to sayve you You have to when something airs, then I'll be able to speak more freely about it, but it's underwrap. I don't you like I have to wait for Hassan to die before No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like so well, I'll be dead decades before the two of you. So write it on a post and send it to you. No no, no. I just mean like I have to''ll it spoil something so I have to like I'll tell you when the time has come. I can't wait. You're going to do it as so as y yell cut today. I don't care what'll tell you. I'll come over there and beat it out of you.' hide your medication. Domic, I will tell you just not on the air of medication, you want to know who needs some sedatives. Linda Perry. songwriter, Linda, who did you think I was gonna say? Caramo. Oh God. I'm Dominic Choming. We get I honestly The nerve, the nerve. People magazine C Brown the nerve their their their first pride Is their first June issue? People magazine Who do you who do you you're homophobic? They know who they think they are is what it is. Yeah. They do know. They are the Bible. We We've elevated them too much and now they think they can do whatever they want Caramo, I wish that we the nerd It's a shame this is let me just say let me say this now, Klisteners I was going to save it for a little later, but My rage over Caramo has brought this out Next week on this podcast, Christopher and I will have major Announcements major That's all we can tell you about Tatonic itself. Tatonic Major announcements. Tell your friends, don't miss it. And and guess what it won't be? It's all good news by the way Yes, all good news. Guess what it's not is a nothing sandwich that I was given today on the shower When I had to download the people Caramo to be dressed like Oprah when she's interviewing Meghan. Uhh Tell me they're not dressed exactly. He had a sweater on like the same color as or. doing everything but giving up names. I felt like Sutton Bown. Let's just talk about it I was He's made Christopher Mann Furious, furious But here's the thing. So Caramo Brown, you know, talk show host, former queer Eye refugee. he wouldn't do the press tour because his mental health was being challenged And we're not insulting people Look youre sure you the day off from work. Do whatever you need to do. Whether or not you hold a press conference about it, that's a different level, but if you're having if you need to take off, you always put yourself first And so he put himself first, he skipped the press stour. He's not friends with his former co host. The show's no longer on the air By bye, it does not buy bye for Caramo. He He in cahoots with peopleople d. com kn put together. what for forty eight hours was billed as breaking his silence. Yeah. like I'm like, was he going to come on and say he's the father of Mindy Killing's baby? Like what'sing in this interview that they're like shit will be falling from the sky, everybody. likeike this is major. He basically sits down with people Chris listened to it in its entirety while showering. I'll get that in's how that's how long it was. This bomb. Where was he when you were washing your armpit?other wasas he like The Netherlands. The I don't even know. I I mean, so here's what you learned, guysys, you don't have to download the people app here. I'll tell you exactly what happened And put your pens and papers away. You won't even need to take notes for it. He said that a producer yelled at him or someone on the set yelled at him and said These four are stars, you are not. oK, like all the other The four other Fab five are stars. That is cold. That is a that's a whyy would hear? Well why would anyone say that? I believe that it happened but like go damn And then the other thing was that He made one of the they call them the heroes, like the people that they're fixing that they're like, you know Yeah they're revamping. Mad He made one of the heroes cry in the person and someone, I'm assuming, a producer was like You don't get to do it like like, don't ever make them cry again, which like is the opposite of what you want on a real television j. Is that the person is overwhelmed with love that they start crying. The question was this at that portion Did he make them cry like at the inappropriate Like were theying? Like, did he make them cry and like feel like shit or did he make them cry like which is good for camera? because if it's like good for camera, they're getting emotional. And here's the part, here's the part that we don't know's because he makes he says everything so coded and like with no facts bed around it that we don't know. And you are right, Dominic, it could be that like He was like And you're like really fat and ugly and like we're gonna to make you not really fat and ugly. And the gu said it was diffult listen to. Yeah, it was so nothing. It was really difficult to listen. It was infuriating. Even as a PR exper. It was stunned. Stp stuned. And only that There was nothing there Drop a bomb. And hed said like, there was behaviors that happened that I was didn't like and alluding to the other five and I'm like, you have to give us one thing. Well then can't do all this and then not say anything. Well, here's the last the tiniest bit of tea, which I believe, if provoked, someomeone will come forward and make it a bigger issue. This is my prediction Buried in the interview, apparently there was an incident where Karama was accused of something inappropriate, sexual harassment or something. We're given the impression that on the scale of those things that it was minor Don't come for me because you know what I'm talking about. I'm meaning like it was not You know, I'm wasd it was like a wasn't a It was something. I don't know what it was like inappropriate but not So there's there was tension around that. I hadn't heard about this before and once he's like, yeah, you know, there was an accusation of something, but it was completely We spoke to both people and everything was fine and we moved on at work and it was nothing like that. But now in this past couple of hours now that this interview has dropped and people are watching it. O people are like leaking to other, you know less reputable podcasts than ours that Everything is not okay, that everyone just agreed to we were comfortable to return to work, but that an investigation is still ongoing So this is not, it sounds like this might have been like A little the lady doesoth protest too much. likeike I think maybe she was in trouble and just decided to pull stunt after stunt to ignore it I want to know about these accusations, is what I want It'sny say that dominant, because it's giving, I'm the villain He's like theyre he can't give any facts Because There's no facts to be. Do you know what I mean? Like one hundred Be like every fact incriminates him. That's what I think And they all can't stand him because he's slapping butts and likeike this other and it would also ex And I'm allegedly saying that that's allegedly like allegly top to bottom. It would also explain how sort of cryptic their responses were when confronted by talk show hosts and they're like, what do you think about Karomena being here? Now in my allegedly, I'm making this up. if it's fan fiction, I apologize He brought it up, not me mean in Caramomo. Yeah, we'reking about this becausecausez he did in an interview Are you sitting up there saying like, okay, so Karamo didn't show up today. So am I supposed to scorch earth on this person while I'm promoting the feel good television show of the year. am I supposed to like my choices are if I'm one of the other four hosts, several of whom I find I just don't like, period. But if I'm one of them, it's like, so I can sit here and not be joyful, which is what the show is. He's already he's already pulled so much focus. But am I now on top of it supposed to say This was a great stunt because he knows he touched somebody and that's what the real issue is. but we're not going to turn this interview into that. Yeah. There is another This interview he did was not even was not the other shoe. It was a lace and the other shoe' going to drop. when someone Preferably JVN, who or Tan was I feel like one of them would come in like I feel like Tan doesn't let shit go ong good in a good way. saying he was so happy He's like, JVN's great now. I'm really proud about how he's been working on himself dare you How dare you do pity you're the paternity guy now? You're the trash TV guy, Where is? what is this halo bullset? I heard that D Well, we've all heard that here. Yeah Anyway Oh no, and then he's like, I had to go back and then it's like, so from week one, was miserable but you had to go back for the paychck and then it's like, and then you got another show. And listen, I've done a lot for a paycheck.'tike money talks and I listen But this whole like, I'm the biggest victim that's ever happened in the world is like Very funny to me because it's like not How do I it's hard to explain. Like The fact that you wake up at three like at three A He says at three AM I had my assistant email like Gaail King and Jen in Chanel and say I'm not coming That's stunt quQeen behavior. That's not you having boundaries J you like that's you proving to the world why the rest of the cast doesn't like you because you pulled focus from the entire series becausecause someone said a couple of things to you that weren't nice and your mom was on the headset and heard your cast members talking about they didn't like how much filler you'd put in your face, which is what we almost pretty much confirmed that In the inner bottoms, bottoms your pension Allegedly. allegedly But like I hate to see hot people go down like this. It's like if you're given that gift, I don't If you're gonna be that hot, just go through. I don't know. He was before all the shit he did. Yeah. the face the face shape is rough, but much too much too soon And never forget when he was on the real world and was homophobic to the more feminate gay person that was. I will never forget that, which is another reason he should not be on fucking June first People magazine What is wrong with you people You nameam Jonathan Bailey the sexiest man alive and then you kick off pride with and then you did this. How dare you? But I think that there's Like you're talking about going on Gail King and like going doing a press tour weeks in advance. This isn't like something that popped up and then the last at the last minute, he's like, oh wait I can't do You know what I mean This is a deliberate FU and I and like, I need people to not pretend like it's not. I hate when people are like And I'm the victim in every way. and I did all this horrible stuff, but like Here's why I'm still the victim about it You know what I mean? he like he pulled a stunt and then the show aired No one said enough about it for his liking. So he's like, oh, wait a second, that didn't make a big enough hole in the earth. Let me let me come back and do it again which is why I think now someone's going to get pissed on the cast and be like, okay, I want to add enough. Yeah and do a full situation. The thing is I think they all have sketons in their closets, so they're sort of afraid to like open up this free for all because I wonder if they still compete Do you think they still have like Netflix contracts?robably not, right? They I thought you were gonna say memberships. I mean, I would hope so. I would hope it would think they still have They might, I don't know. they might Like, do you think they just don't want to say anything because of that? But like I don't know Why wouldn' it like because that's the thing that sucks too is that you When you don't really say anything, now it's all in the news, but there's no actual fact. So like someone could swoop in and like be like, here's exactly what happened Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Now that Diane Sayer' done with Richard Simmondons, may for her to do something a little in depth. as much as I I cannot fucking stand her. We need her right now to do this. That's it Get your tablet Diane, pick pick out some new keyhole sweaters. Let's get those shoulders out there O get that cold shoulder top and get your fuckking put you know what? put on an old lady tank top. You know your ha what you're doing your hair through a tornado and then let's step in I don't understand. I' But what's everyone hiding What is everyone hiding here? Why do you think that you Karamo said that you were a dirty horse? Como, look at this photo Do you smoke cr Do it. comeome on Diane Do arere you upset that you're a filthy slut is now what you said to Brittneany, what did you say? She did She called Britneany A Whoore and Britanyy Cryan. Yeah She called Diane was like Witty I think you're a bit of a whore. and Brittneany said, Why your shoulders out, old lady? You're eighty five Butout a show Pepsi's Pepsi. Put I' a pashmina, you old lady. I don't do drugs. Th then Dian killed Whitney Houston. Yeah y forgot about thatpstage. She's like wearing that weird wig and she's chomping on that gum. It's you know what the most trashiest thing that you could ever do in your life is just chew gum. likeike for I'm sorry, everyone, but like when you're an interview and you're just Like chopping and that like that. What kind of Ps do I like Ps's Pepsi Best thing ever Can I tell you? and I love her. We love her. We fixed her. or late last year, I think Everyone loves her. Joan KQack has for the first time in eleven years been on the rec market B She's in because Toy Story five is about to drop and her character Jessie is like the a story in this version. She's like one of the leads I swear to you, I love her. She's been making the rounds. It's great to see her. She chews gum in every fucking interview that she does that drives me b. I hate it's the I hate chewing gum in general I find it it's like, if I'm scared of one way. The response to her being like back in the public eye has been so heartwarming because everyone is seeing her and they remember her F so many things, like people my age are like, oh my God, working girl. everyveryone, I mean, Adam's family values Aamstand is like hottest ro her best role. Body be banging So it's really great that she's out. apppparently she took off for eleven years because she was raising her kids and she lives in Chicago If you can't tell by the way she speaks in real life. I don't know if I notice this in the character she played, but her Chicago accent is so Yeah thick But it was just lovely to see her Oot in a boot Are you braced? becausecauseuse I don't even, I don't think you know about this next story, but I'll read the headline. For years embraced You sh o. from deadline d. com a TV drama Chronicling the early life of Celine Dion and familyamily is in the works. It's fros I don't know what to say. We did it. Are you weeping? Are you weing We did it. We did it I don't know in no Okay, now now that it's actually penetrating my brain cells I'm scared Why Because she was really poor when she grew up. It's not gonna be a fun Oh, it's not gonna to be like dining. It's not gonna be I mean, I don't know. Is she told you she was playing all the roles. No, she's not joking. Can you imagine? No I will play My cteen Rros your el. Yeah My mother We share One toilet, sixteen people One bowl The house smell like sheet She I mean I'm a you guys know I'm a viewer. But like they were really She's definitely going to be involved in some way, And then she was groomed by her husband when she was like eighteen. So that's not gonna to be good. Like what's that part going to look like Right, exactly. Will Russell Crow be playing opposite a twelve year old girl to talk about how they met each other No, literally. Its oldest time for real. And she sang that song Jesus she did. She's in. can be So look out for that. It's just being developed as we speak, but I mean, it's going to happen It's from a production company called Diamond Rouge Entertainment, and it's being taken out now to international buyers. Okay, so they're just like, okay. But that's early. That's early. I don't know I'm nervous it won't , I think is coming to her brother, Jacques Dion is producing Okay, like that. And the show is going be based on Don, a familyily saga, which is apparently the title written by Seline's nephew Jimmy Deon I had no idea there was like a Selineie on universe that her family was running. I always thought Dion was like a stage name Their real last name is Don We have a lot of listeners in France or French Canadia Yes, I know what I did. Who anytime we use an accent will message us we're doing like we did the wrong thing and I'm like, Yeahah, I don'tak French what the fuck do I know? Of course I do do, right guys My name is Selen. Selen No Um By the way, do you know speaking of Powerhouse singers that if you there was a day or two this week that if you Googled Ariana Grande, petals would fall on the screen. No that's fine. Goog. So if you Google her now It doesn't it happen automatically, but there's an icon at the bottom of the screen that if you click on it, the pedals will fall She's listen, she's bringing that new song out and she's I mean, Ethan Slater's in the fucking recycling bin is what he is That's right She And we haven't seen him in a minute You're onot. I can't believe you made I made you love me or something like that. So she's just doing what she does best, which is taking marriages and ripping them apart and then throwing the away the key That's right. You know, the follow up single to that is disinfect me. I fucked SpongeBobsire pants. No, literally. S mean jokes Cress is in my hle. Where do we end? Where do we Ay pat is in my hole The song is good. I mean, she's back She's here we go. She is knack. The concerts begin like. Now like I think her's in the next it's for her last album. Oh it is? Yeah She's not going to be singing from pedals on this show. You might have like a single But it's but it's the brighter days It's the last one with like, yes and she never toured that great song by the way. Say that shit with your chest, to me is the lyric of last year. That was last year, wasn't it I think it was two years ago But she was on Wicked forever. so she never toured this album. So it's the Because she did the it's called Brighter Days is like the Deluxe version of the album And so that's that's this tour. She'll obviously sing her new single. Sure. it's not a tour for this album. It's a tour for last album that was two years ago C spondot be with her No, I think they're broken up I don't think they're together they are Well, when I Googled her today just to see the pedals fall, it still said they're together, but I don't know what Google knows. I mean, Google knows a lot, but I don't know how how if they're paying attention to Ethan Slater Yeah Did you see this interview? someomeone interviewed Cynthia Areivo And she got a little bit angry. She's like, I don't wantan to talk about wicked anymore. She was like, I'm done. Here's of my life to this and I'm just done, whichich I get. and that's it She was just like, I did it. They were like, do the riff from Dine gravity? She was like, no, I said no I'm not I mean I get it G get it But it's just, I think the reason we're hesitantly saying I get it is because like the two years that we had to sit through Wickedville were so like We're just so up and in everything. and I was just like, I don't think you can just say nowah, I don't want to talk about that anymore. like your associate forever. Like you're you're alphaba, you're a child you're action figure now. So you can't really be like Blah, blah blah. Like Rose O'Donald talks about that pretty eloquently. She's like about How seriously she took the fact that she was bet in trouble in in the flood zones because she was just like You can't fuck up in public. likeike when people want to talk to you about it, you got to talk to them about it because that's who you are I get wanting to move on to the next project, but Baby Edina Manzel has not been alphaba in twenty years and guess what? She's still alphaba and now you are too like that is a role. You gotta be bringing something you're gonna do an interview. If you're going to do an interview, you gott to bring something new to the table You know what I mean? You can't just show up for an interview and then be like What do you like to eat? Like that's not what they're gonna ask you Or the next time that person interviews you show up in head toail head toe green makeup and just say, go ahead Ask again PS, though we're not at our Broadway section, since we are speaking about Cynthia, in the most exciting news The rumor is that she's going to be returning to Broadway year in the first ever revival of Stehven Sondheim's musical passassion. which didn't run for very long. I did I think I was in college when it was on in its original Chris was either in utero or still pooping his pants. Sw this on stage with Donna Murphy, who won a Tony for it. Oh. It's so good. She's perfect for the role of Foska. I hope She returns. So no Dracula on Broadway, no Jesus Christ superstar, which she's done both the past year, but they're talking about passion And it appears as though, speaking of wicked If the rumors are true, she will be on Broadway doing Sondheim's passion The same time that Ariana Grande is on the West end in London portraying Dot in Sondheim's Sunday in the Park with George. So while she may not want to talk about Wicked The blessing of it is clear Wicked in your lives. Wicked is everywhere I mean, if we're at Broadway we might as well just tell you that Julia Louis Dreyus is coming to Broadway in her Broadway debut in a revival of other desert cities I'm so old I saw the original run of that, but it wasn't that long ago. And it was with Stocker Channing. And I will be honest with you. Yeah, I saw with Soccer Channing and Judith Light. if you can imagine Wow W. gay Gods putting them on safe. Yeah for real And I will tell you that you know, my bestie Wolf Klitzer and I we try to go to everything that we can This may not be on the list because it is it is too expensive. We looked at the ticket prices and we You know, we live here in New York part of the reason so we can like do all these things. Chrisian and I've talked about this before on and off camera. It's like you live here to experience all this stuff, but then it's really fucking expensive and sometimes you're like, whoa Like I can't spend three hundred dollars Every time I want to see a ninety minute uplifting moment. by the way, other desert cities not uplifting, but just Broadway in general So we'll see Speaking of uplifting cats, which we've both seen and raved about has extended into twenty twenty seven. Rightfully so If you're coming to New York, you should see a show first of all. Second of all, we both agree that O Mary and Kat's the Jica Ball are the ways to go Yeahies In bad news for Broadway, chess is closing early. Liam Michelle is taking taking all of the blame for it. I think unjustly, but Yeah it's like, but wasn't Joe Joe was supposed to Like Jo Jo as indeed Jo Jo, Joe Jo. Sorry, love ask Jo Jo Levesque was supposed to take over on june twenty third. and this week, they announnce that the show is closing on june twenty first Why do you think it is? Becauseuse people are like going, everyveryone's talking about it still. I don't know. L peopleople were like it's so good but yeah. Well, Leah didn't get nominated. and I think the bigger insult was that the show didn't get nominated for best Revival. And so everyone's like The fuck. I saw it. It's not 's it's not Shakespeare, but it's really entertaining, like superbly entertaining. And Nicholas Christopher who got nominated for lead actctor, who won't win But he was phenomenal in that. He was just all right I think we've said it here too. She seemed a little didnn't scream nominate her for a Tony, but she certainly wasn't bad It's also like a youngish feeling musical, so I'm sort of surprised that They're not making it stay longer to get a summer audience in. Yeahattern. Well, sad though, because I feel like JoJo would be so I want JoJo to succeed. And JoJo went online I haven't seen JoJo in a minute. She was it was a great Instagram though. like I feel like she's going to get more work off of the Instagram story she posted being sad about it. L she was so charming and so peeling She has voice that like will never she she should have been so famous and she Her record label fucked her so bad. Like she and I know she wrote a memoir and I know there's like a whole story, but it's like if she could do I want her I want Diane Sowyer sitting down with her to be like, tellell me what happened I want to keep Diane Say away from Joe Joe Leest because I like her and Dian Sayer is important Either a murderer or has a voodoo curse. Yeah That's true But like like just to hear because her vo my God her voice And she was like a little thirteen year old girl We've watched her grow up literally, we've trruman showed her. We've seen it all Get out, Lave right now. Mantime, my mother just paused the podcast and she's like to be like, who is JoJo? Tom, Tom, who's JoJoe? I know Not Jo Jo Siwa is not who' Oh God, Barbara Not Jesslyn's daughter. Not Jesslyn's daughter You know, the other song that's so good. I'm sorry, but everyone play this. playlay this when you're driving in your car today but, um Too little too late. Oh It's just a little too late, a little too wrong. An I can w I got that suchuch a good song. Last thing, I don' know somehow there's been a musical about Galileo. development Thank you. And I'm like, how does this end up in my h? like made mad? Yes like The astrol well, not astrology, but, you know, the u scientists Anyway, it's like a full blown, it's coming to the Schubert Theater in December and it's starring Raul Assparsa who is tasty treat. You may know him either from Broadway or SVU or he's one of those actors that you've seen everywhere. like ninety million now Yeah That watch the weirdest thing I've ever heard. That's why I brought up. I was just like, we Follow a lot of this stuff and I'm surprised we hadn't heard that this week I'm smelling a lot of school trips at that so I will take my own advice from when I saw a matinee of Dath of a salesman. Do not see a matinee of anything that there's a book about in any child's school during the school year. I was first of all, I was aghast at what the teachers were letting these kids wear to a Broadway show, even though it was a matinee. I know it's casual and I'm not going to ask Who's our assistant? I'm not asking Nancy for the soapbox right now Flip flops in a Broadway theater. Yeah no, it's gonna be No. Get the fuck out of here Moving on to the real news Jula Pep, as she's known by one Wendy Williams, known to you as do a LPa got married in a cute little two piece suit dress. You this. I'm obsessed with it Best of luck, best of love to Dula and her husband I'm starting to think that her name is Dula. Tua and her husband, Callum Turner, who it turns out is The front runner now. to play Jamie's Bond when they relaunch it I mean, can you obviously do a would be either a Bond girl or singer sing the song Yeah, that'd be really good or be a Bond girl and sing the song. That'd be Oh great. C I We don't know. I don't know. Do you need to act to be a bunk I'll tell you what he looked good doing it. You know, it's a shame. I guess he's aged out of it because for years we thought Idris Elba was going to play James Bond. I don't think he's in the running. However U, this week, just yesterday, in fact Idris Elba became Sir, Idris Elba. and was knighted King Charles I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's the hottest knight in the British emmpire. Yeah, for sure for sure deserved to Yeah, he's an incredible actor. It's almost good that he never got the boond role. It might have been Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say beneath him because Daniel Craig's also an exceptional actor. of Craig like came on the scene as z zero seven and then turned that into a real like career. That justa doesn't need that. He was already too famous, but people are saying Callum Turner is like the right amount of famous. Correct to be James Bond. He's also so hot. Oh he's gone. I like have not really gototten good eyes on him, but like whoa and Amazon It hurts me to say this, who's now controlling that empire has has been, I think pretty clear that they want someone in their late twenties, early thirties because they Yeah which is smart. They're looking for a long haul. They're looking for six or seven films in here So good luck, Cal Turner, good luck. Dua Turner, which I guess is now her official name.one someone was like, congratulations to Dua Lipa and now her husband Duo Lipo Which was very funny. No, but he's like not famous enough in a good way in the way that like he'll become the most famous from this role He's young and he's really hot and it can be like his like big foray into like becoming of God. I do when you said he's young, I thought the next thing was going to be he's hung and I was going to go on Google find out He's hung. Yeah. He's young. He's hung. ool would I ever say that? No, that's why I was shocked I almost let out o. He's the same age as me nineteen nars Yes. Wow. I thought he was a little No, he's said. thought it was about thirty. Okay Ky B Did youar that horn? Yeah h my God Folks, I broadcast to you live from the Bronx and once we have two days in a row where it's sixty eight degrees or higher Everyone leaves their apartment and just brings the furniture outside, sleeps out there, plays music, eats. Listens to my podcast, our podcast, the translated version. Did't know there was one. But be like live. L listen to it live from your window. I'm screaming out the window. I'm on a balcony. Eufore speaking of des, Euphoria is done Have you watched No? Have you watch in its entirety? I can't. don't have the I don't have the mental fortitude to do it is the problem. I don't either. I read the recaps and my roommate watches it in her room and I just listen to her scream and I'm like I'll just ask her what she screamed about and then come on my podcast and pretend that we I just don't, I don't listen to I was seeing pictures of like the one girl that was like the popular girl. What is her name The one that's like, is this fucking play about us? like her She's like in these like And like as as these sunglasses, I'm like what is this now Do you know what I mean? It's like become suchce and I'm just like It's going to be a labor to watch it is the problem Well, it's officially not coming back. Thank showrunners the showrners and everyone have made it perfectly clear that it's not coming back in the The most boss power move of the week, possibly the year Rihanna has hired Elon Musk's daughter who is trans appar in the lingerie pride campaign that Fent is doing God bless you, Rihanna God bless you, Vivian Musk. actuallyctually, I don't know if she goes by Musk anymore, but God bless you, Vivian The two of you are doing the Lord's work We have to shove it up asses when we can. We have so few opportunities these days I can't wait to see it I'm excited I can't I want someone rolling on Elon Musk when he's presented with the advertisements his daughter. He does not refer to as his daughter, by the way. So actually when I say presents him with the invertisements, someone puts them in a ball and crams them down his throat By accident You know what? everyveryone's been asking me if we're gonna talk about all week? a new era for Susan Boyle. I can't believe we'd How have we gotten this long without talking about it How on my God without seeing it Susan Boyle has a new single coming out and as such, someone finally smartly took her and was like The funniest tweet I saw all week was, how have I lived this long not being in Susan Boyle's mob wife era. She is in this blonde anoinour bob and it's full length. That is it looks like she's wearing a bear Yes And it's like a juicy coutour swesu sunglasses and then the craziest wig you've ever seen and then just like her with like Barbie girl makeup on. It is it's insane. It's it's insane Like I heard can't be taken seriously with it. It's like so ridiculous. It looks like a wig from partarty City. It absolutely. like it's not, I don't know what they're doing to her. And she's like not in the pictures, she's not being like, isn't this crazy that I'm doing this, which would be funny. She's like serious in them. And there's these like it her like in a recording studio and it's just from the back of her with her like juicing a to her sweatsuit on in the bob. And I'm like, what is this? I listened to a few bars of the song. She released like a thirty or forty second clip. It's fine. She sounds like Susan Boyle. They have like auto tuning the shit out of her. They're trying to do a pop song Great I am fine with someone sixty five or older pop hit That's most of the music I listen to if I'm being honest, is elderly singing pop songs But it's so weird. It's the whole thing is so weird but it gets us talking about her Well there are several things happening in the Northeast this summer We actually have a day. we were talking about off off mike on june sixteenth There's going to be an NBA finals game with the Kicks in it. onn the same day as a World Cup match sort of like NYC apocalypse. like stay in hors. stay out of the city At the same time, we will be dodging what I'm assuming now on an hourly basis for the next six weeks or so, details about the Taylor Swift. Wedding So today's detail that never would care about unless we told you is that it seems as though Kelsey Grammer, Taylor Swiss's fiance And she were once very good friends with Miles Teller and his wife. His wife's name is Kayley Sperry But apparently they are not invited to the Taylor Swift wedding We're going to next week need to have a music cue for this. so I can play something dramatic like I give a shit about this, but I want to keep talking about it. I want every right. This is going to be like I want to know what was served, were there petty for at the hotel she got for back. I want I do as much as I don't want to know, I secretly want to know every bit of information Do we know where it's going to be or no the duplex from what I understand was leaked just upstairs Yes in the An Franc cabaret room. Yeah. She's going to cram six hundred people in there I don't know. I mean, Newport, right? or Rhode Island Ish, something. Pro. Something more or Nantucket ish somethinghing Still though, still a great move calling everyone and inviting them by phone You know I love a phone call Have you notice when I call you, I've stopped making a big deal out of calling you because it's not every time I use the phone, but it's a big deal to me because I've never you and I used to not be ever on the phone, but now I I prefer to call you rather than. Yes, correct I like the phone. I like to t do too. I love a podcast. I love a phone call Jennifer Lopez has a new film coming out with the scrumptious Brett Goldstein U yesterday on the Today showhow, Savannah Guthrie was like, so are you guys fucking or dating or what and JO. I mean, had to like get out of it As best she could like she did not want to answer the question. She's like, everyveryone thinks that about everyone I'm in a movie with And in my head I'm like, and you fuck them all. baby. So I, you know. but also why not? A leegit question. But I was like I know people will be like, would Would you ask a man that? But yes, I would ask any man that. I'd ask Bradley Cooper that And it's like here's a stable person with their with both of their you know, with his head on his shoulders Why don't you be with him not fucking all these losers that you're with? I want to I want to swap bodies with J LO one day and I want to give the interview that turns all the naysayers around. Like if I'm there And Savannah says to me, if I'm Jennifer Lopez and she says to me Are you guys dating? I'd be like, dating. No, fucking. I mean, look at him, wouldouldn't you? Don't you want to right now Brett, go in the green room and fuck Sabannah. That's exactly what I would say But y I f everyone I'm co starring with. If you want me to believe I'm in love with them test them out with my body first. Allegedly they did bang though which I hope they did I would just assume that they did and like The thing that's annoying is like in the in the press, they're doing all these like social videos, she's like, oh haa, like she's almost like Yeah, you were obsessed with me because he like wrote it for her apparently. Yes. And he like And she's like turned off by that and And I'm like be happy that he likes Is she pretending to be turned off by it? I don't know. No, it's just very like She's like, Oh, yeah, you do know so much about my career. Like she's like isn't being like, this is so funny that you're my Supervan. She's like She's very cold about it and I don't like that because I think she feels like he's below her because he's like treat her with respect to like every person she's dated. I mean say. We know everything about her life because she did An album, a movie, a podcast, a set of coasters, and a microfiche and a shower curtain line called This is Me Now So not am my Yeah, We We literally know everything Well, you really do know everything. Yeah, was served by you on a platter JLO and scrawled in it. This is me No I might need to just go back and just just watch it. Never again Never do not put that on the Pet toown film list. I will go to the gym during that portion or take a long walk By the way Jayo has two kids with Mark Anthony One of them is named Emmy. Emmy graduated high school. and has changed theirir name from Emmy. I'm assuming it was Anthony Oscar Munies That's the name that was called out Oh, graduation I don't know whether or you know, obviously, Emmy is, well, maybe not obviously is fluid or non binary. She's not discussing it because it's none of our business, but I do know that She has the full support of her mother or they have the full support of their mother. So I've said it before and I'll say it again. I like Oscar as a happappy pide I like It's a great name. They are also spelling it O S K A R Mhm. What's immune knees? I don't know Oh maybe Anthony's last name isn ant Anthony. Oh probably. That's probably his middle name. Look at you, Diane Sawyer. You better take shoulders out. Hold on, let me get my keyhole going. Let me get my keyhole and my crack sniffing dog. I mean my crack siff Why are we being so hard? I mean, I know why, but like we're really beating her up today Because she betrayed our trust because look how did He treated Richard Simmons very well in her Because he was dead because he was already dead. Eactly. But if were alive, she should would have made him cry and probably jump off a cliff. Should have been like, are you a fucking cocksucking faggot And he would have been like, yes. Richard All right Well, Maddx Joie Pitt I think is the last kid to drop the pit from his name. We got a fall s We come to you every week with one of the Joolie pits becoming a Joolie Apparently and this is from us Weekly, who I'm pissed at and I'll tell you why in a minute Brad is upset. Brad's like officially upset At what point get upset Bradley after the fourth kid dropped it? L which when did you start to say this is a this is a pandemic? They really will never get out of they'll never get out of this. We'll be reporting on this forever. This is like a this is like a Baldwins, you know what I mean Will we be reporting on them f u til we are in the earth We will be deceased and their kids will still be fighting over who has the Mirr of all winery One of our favorites, astronaut Gail King This is astronut and broadcaster you okay. Have you been this space I mean, how remember when she said that That was her like rebuttal of like, why did you go to space? M Anyway, Lake Now I'm just thinking of her g hair that day. I'm just thinking of her hair. Gle appears on a podcast and talks about forty years ago and when I say forty years ago I mean four zero. this happened talks about walking in on her husband and her then either best or very close friend embed together. This happened to Gaail. I'd never heard this story before. Apparently, it's like famous in the Gaail King Lore. And ended it and talked about how long it took to get over. Well I guess a lot of people didn't know this or Gail assumed people did. So her husband who no who is not a celebrity by the way and has not spoken to Yale in forty years, I guess. I just came released a statement apologizing Yeahah it was a shitty thing to do. I'm sorry. Why? I'm also fromm years like Indy still leave me alone. Yeah. like she't call me Daddy I think she was on callall me Daddy and everyone who goes on that ends up Its sort of, there's sort of like like people go there and like answer questions. they never even tell them. She is like stern. She is like Oh yeah. Yeah say that as a compliment, by the way. It's like an interview technique, like I've never really cared about who Gail King had had sex with before except for the Oprah rumors, but now I'm like, Gale quite a V cooal mininer's daughter. very very I understand why you're friends with it's not coal miners Truly Hor. I'm going to k with the co miners' daught This is very exciting Sarah Snoop She of succession. Oh yeah, this is good. This is big. big, big, big. Is it is it going to appear in a a reimagining of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds in the lead in the Tippy Headmon roll. I have chills. as of Chill. They're They're sort of rebooting it as some sort of murder mystery So I do not know where this will air. I do know that it is a limited series, but you know, sometimes when a limited series is good it becomes a series series like White Lotus or what's the one in California with all the ladies and Zoe Krabz and Nicole, the Meryl Streep screaming. Why can I think of it Oh my Godd. bigig little eyes. Big little eyes. Those all start out as limited and then expand. So As much as we can get of Serah Snke the better Remember the one that they did? they did a HBO did a movie that was like, I think it was called The girl And it was about Tippy hedron like doing the birds. Yeah so. Yeah without And I think Anthony Hopkins played him I wrong. Or maybe it was Phillip Symour Hoffman We know. It was Toby, what's his name While you're looking that up, I don't really want to talk we mentioned Linda Perry at the beginning of this and I we sort of got off it, but just so there's no looosing She was just running her mouth about Madonna this week and saying Madonna seems weak to her right now. She's chasing trends and trying to compete with Charlie XCX. She doesn't seem powerful to me anymore. She seems weak. PS then goes on to say, but I love Madonna and I've tried to work with her so many times, but she won't call me back. And now she's not going to dumb dumb She's just not Yeah You're weak She just performed to one point six million people in the biggest attended concert of all time. You know what's weak You're wearing Abe Lincoln's hat. Shut it It's not a gimmick anymore. You're not boy George lose it Not a place in fat Okay the girl ladies that I love. Okay, so movie the girl the girl It was in twenty thousand twelve Sienna Miller played Tippyhedrren. Toby Jones. you're right. played Al. Toby Jones. And Amlda Staunton played like his wife. Oh I love Emlda Stauon. I might have to go rewatch this because I remember it. but on the list It's going to have to rain for three weeks for us to watch all the we can't it on the list. There's too much on the list already Dominic we have to watch cats and watch What's her name? We have to watch Judy Denge be old Deuteronomy. Okay. on, Judy B news, Bad Bunny is also in Toy Story five, I might add. He's playing a slice of pizza. Pizza with sunglasses. Is that real I swear to you Oh my Godd, that's so funny and Taylor is doing the song for Toy Story five. And then the tweet that was like it was like Taylor starts releasing that she's doing the song for Toy Story five. and then someone tweeted, Dian Harren fall to her knees. Yes You think Diane will just take the year off from getting nominated because she knows the wait. That's what should be on the list is that documentary about Diane Warren Relentless Relentless. I'm putting on the list. That's that's being added That wanted to go up on the list Coming up on the a la cart JayZ this is everyone he ever worked with while performing in Philadelphia U we're hearing Whispers about a lady Marmalod reunion. Oh my g God. Oh my g God cast member from Jersey Shore is considering running for governor of New Jersey to which I say this was only a matter of time. and I'm surprised that hasn't happened before and Drake now has more number one songs than Michael Jackson, but so annoying. But He did suffer a humiliation this week, which we will talk about on the Oa card. and Smith From sex and the city, the sex and city universe. Remember Kim Catral's boyfriend Smith Smith Jarared A being out of the spotlight for nearly ten years has resurfaced and you won't believe where he's been living or what he's been. and we will give you all that information on the a la carte, which is for our Patreon members and you apppple subscribers Two things before we go today The first is that I'm so furious with uss Weekly right now because and not just us Wekly James Vananderby died earlier this year. Okaykay. Oh yeah, yeah, this is good. this is good Before James Vaner Bek's widow was, I believe his second wife decades ago. He was married to someone else And so everyone is deliberately misleadingly running with this headline, James Van der Bekks, ex wife, Marries just months after his death Obviously they're pointing out that it's his ex wife, but When they're saying it's months after his no you're you're to believe that it's the wife that he just left this earthy plane and she already was in another relationship. Yeah. They are for lack of a better term Erica Kirking, Miss Vanderbek the current and raining, Ms Vand derbeck us weekly. You really embarrass me in the group chat this week because I said I said I was like, well, well well. And then Dr. Rabbi Rebecca Bregman was like I thought the same thing, but it's his ex wife. I fired off some very stern Instagram comments at Us Weekly referring to them as dirty dpe Do better. Do better us weekly until I saw the post doing it even. I didn't even think the post included the words They were like, No, they were like this dirty hore bitch like was like James Vanderbk's widow marries on his coffin at graveyard consummating their relationship inside his grave W I want to plug a couple of things. Listeners, did you know that Christopher and I have a favorite bakery in Seattle It's the Tremontte Seattle Bakery. We really do love them. They're long timee listeners. If you go to the Tremontte Seattle Instagram page, you're going to see Fried rainbow cookies, which are back on sale for June. G into it. They look like those tric cololored Italian cookies that we all love.. their pride rainbow and they make me want to fly to Seattle and They're great. They treat us so well. I've performed there and they give me so many cookies. I was supposed to bring some back for Christopher, but I ate them all on the plane. Unfortunately. I'll never forgive myself. And even she visited New York and we couldn't meet up with them and they brought ed goods for us. Did we get the baked goods or no? they probably. No, I don't think we did. But I would like I've never been to Seattle, so I think I need to take a trip and maybe just you've never been to Seatt been to Seattle, never once I've only been like at the airport at a Layo Oh? H And last thing, this is a friend deommendation, which is a recommendation to go see one of our friends do something wonderful on a stage. My friend Kevin Louis is a singer and a player of the trumpet. He's got a lot of hyphens. He's one of those. he does everything and does it well. He's an actor, et cetera. He's also in a small band called the Latin Soul Collective. They do Latin jazz and salsa classics and Cuban Soul He has an unbelievable voice. he's an unbelievable musician. And if you're in New York this Friday, june fifth You can see him at Chelsea table and saage. go to Z Kevin Louis on Instagram. com for tickets or you can go to Chelsea. able on stage. He's also I don't know if his partner will mind me saying this. He's also a hot piece of ass. So if you don't like music, even if you can't hear it, you can just go and watch him play the trumpet. Sure, sure.ers Speaking of live performances, Chris, I don't know if I've mentioned yet on this podcast that I I too perform You do. Stand up comedy. Yes. What? two weeks in two weeks It begins, it does. It does, it does begin I know Me seeking attention off the microphone seems unusual, but it is something that I in fact do I will be on june eighteenth, beginning in DC And then I go to Chicago. and Boston and New York City and then to Provincetown for the whole month of July. Please go to domitary. com or to linktree. com slash Dominic Puuba or my Instagram page. And please come see me. I love performing live more than ever since this podcast started because so many listeners I will be there in Patown on the eighth and the ninth of July during his shows. J FI in case you wouldn't make the trip in case you want to come to the Cpe. It's a great excuse to come to I guess what we'll just call it FFP con until someone tells us not to So we have to sell tickets to it O you could just come to the duplex on a random Friday and we can have it there. So you don't Yeah that can happen too. That is that. But come to the shows anyway We're fixing Aquafina this week We sure are with our guest Nor from the reality is And we will be doing that. And don't forget next week Major. Tectonic Tectonic announcements, Tectonic Don't miss it And we'll be back with Aquafina and Nor After these vital messag Dominic Christopher, we played a rousing game of Titors with this woman and now she is here to help us fix Aquafina. And that is noor from the reality is Thank thank you Thank you guys so much. It was so rousing, huh? That traitor's game. I know. It was r. sorry I to you. I'm sorry I had to kill No, no, no, fine. That's literally the game. It's okay, but I mean, it was so exciting. was everybody's like, oh and then once you die, you could just like log off and I was like, why would I do that? No, I joined by Red. W the Rted riveted Yeah, I loved it. I loved it It was so much fun. I'm begging them to do it again because we had so much fun doing it. And now they will.' I don't do it again. I didn't really know a lot of people. but now if we all come back and know each other, that's even funnier. You know what I mean? Because we can all like You know, And we've had so many of them on our podcasts since we recorded that trailers now at this point. Now we're all real real life friends. Well, you know, my favorite restaurant is Rails. I go there all the time. I't. Here's what I'm going to tell you, I've never eaten there like as a civilian ever once. Every time I've been there like evenating before we film a scene for Rospes of New Jersey. So I would love to go to Rails with you As civilians, canan we do that please I literity Israils, by the way. Is it in Hoboken? And no, it's not. It's in Taco, New Jersey. It It's far away from me. It's like an hour away. It' actually very close likeike literally walking distance. My man, know who's walking there, but like it was walking distance from Theresa's old house. Yes. So It's like that part and Mother's Day was this past weekend on Friday because we we never do Mother' Day on Sunday. I'm like, leave me the fuck alone on Mother's Day.. But Friday Do you have childrenner? I do. I've got a twelve year old and a nine year old. so like I was like and they're great, by the way. I always shit on it, but like being a mom is really great. I really enjoy it. But on Friday, my husband That's actually the most reasonable endorsement I've heard of motherhood actually. I always shit on it, but being a mom is actually pretty great. Its like that's like the most hest sibly be about It doesn't actually like stress me out and sometimes I shit on it just because that's like the culture is everybody' like part of being a mother is to just be complaining about your kids all the time. but I'm like, I really like my kids and like they don't stress me out. But anyway, we went to Rails on Friday night and one of my best friends She was like, I'm going to rails on Friday night for Mother's Day. So then we did like a family, like a two family Rail's dinner. Love rails. It's actually so good. The food is the food is great The steak is legit, so fucking good. My kids are like spoiled now. They're like like one of them made honorll last semester or last yearter you buy me a seventy five dollars stak at Rails and you were like, No I was like, Oh, what would you wantan to do like, we're so proud of you made honorll? He was like, I'd love to go to Rails for dinner. I don't know It wasn't like Chucky cheese or like, you know what I mean? What does a kid like to do? like go to like A roller coaster. No, he was like, I want to go to this nice steakhouse and like order a martini is what I want to do.g So legit. Is it by a train station? Yes. It's on the train station. And it sounds so sad because you're like, no, it's literally the rail stands for train tracks, but it actually'sice. it's nice. It's a really nice resturant. Like you've seen you've been there as a viewer Like you know what I mean? like you've been o. I know o. First of all, thank you so much for having me here. Of course. My podcast is called The Reality is and the genesis of it was there weren't enough brown people talking about Brown women talking about reality TV. and it's especially like in twenty twenty, we had like Asian women. It's funny because we're in shit on an Asian woman today. But we didn't necessarily. We're trying to emar will a little bit. So catch some she'll catch some heat We you know Tiffany Moon was on and then we had like Crystal from Beverly Hills and then we had Jesl. so we had Asian women on Housewives and even with Jen Aiden, who's not Asian but she's Turkish, you know? So like there were not enough people of color, at least women of color talking about these cookie ladies that we love. So I started a podcast called The Reality is and I talk about You know, all the problematic things that we love about these shows on Bravo, but I also do an episode once a week where I talk about politics and the general state of the world with my brother. So the takes are hot and cancellable. So maybe one day you'll fix me, I don't know Die downoubt. not before they fix us. You also just described us We're here to fix aquafina today. Nor did you pick aquafina off of a List. And if so, why I think I thought about either Aquafina or Melissa Joanhart Is she the one that fakes Sabrina the teenage with. She sure is. And we sure did fix her. You're welcome, Melissa Jo. Yeah. fixing her Okay good, I'm so glad you fixed her. She you know, like I grew up I thought about these two women and then I was like, my part of my podcast just a heads up. if you do start listening to it, partart of my brand is just shitting on white women ' same. So I was sorry. I was like, oh I could do it, but I was like, no, let let's talk about Aquafina because aquafina's pl like the reason I picked her is because one of the things that I often talk about is and I can say this as an Asian woman. Oh by the way, happy API month Wow. Oh. Is that May May is that? I guess I I think so. Well, you know, this is going to be airing in June. So let's just pretend we're still celebrating that's how much We love AAPI people, particularly women on the FFP. G on. But I think one of the things that I often talk one of the things I often talk about is like withithin my own community, from like a South Asian woman, from a box signing perspective, we love to culture culture from the black community because everything that's cool about being American, everything that's cool about being an American immigrant is picked up from black culture. And the thing is that we love to take from it, but then we never credit it and then we will just, you know, profit off of it and not give credit or credit as. And I picked off withfina because she Is she did kind of come in as I mean her name was Aquafina. What is her real name like Hannah I don't know. I literally don't even know. Nora. We deserve a job. Wow, are you fixing yourself? A you H? Well, your assessment about theft is not just, I mean, it's not isolated to the Asian community as well. You've also described almost everything about white gay culture and literally all music. That's true United Statess not like Any genre of music that was created in the United States was created by black people and we sort of Yeah it to hear you speak that way about a community to whom we don't normally ascribe that to is just sort of like, oh yeah. Asian people too. Yeah. It's actually it's all of us. Hey, just a few It's really everybody. Hote, if there's anything cool that you've ever liked in your life, a black person probably came up with that So There you go And the government knows that, which is why they're trying to erase the twentieth century right before our eyes. Yeah in in the next six months. Well, good luck with. Well here we are at the middle name game. Nor, this is where I ask our guest, who is you and Christopher Derosa, to guess the middle name of the person that we are fixing In this case, it is aquafina. quaina was born in June of nineteen eighty eight She is thirty seven years old. I believe this makes her a Gemini. She was born June Second He wasorn in Stony Brook, New York, which is on Long Island Her first and last names are Nora Lum. Th those are her birth certificated names As if you, you know, if you are a fan of Agrafina, you know the sitcom Nora from Queens, she is Nora But here is the rub Wafina does not have a middle name. So what to do? Well, I'm glad you asked because here's what we're going to do Many times in her storied career, Aquafina has about the influence that Lucy Lou had on her when she was becoming an artist, particularly when Lucy Lou became the first Asian woman to host SNL and then when Aquafina eventually hosted, she brought up in her monologue that seeing Lucy Lou do that made her want to do it and then she did it. I just got loose bumps a little bit for that who wow Lucy L also on the list because we want better for her continuue. Is she on the list? in a Jane Krkowski way that we just want more of her. We want we want better for her. So instead, let's guess Aquainea inspiration, Lucy Lewz middle name. Now Lucy Lu was born deecember two nineteen sixty eight. That makes her a sage A sa or a Capricorn, whichich one is A Scorpio S She is fifty God, almighty. She's older than me. She's fifty seven years old She was born o in New York, New York. I love that. A native would ever guess. N knew that Lucy and Lou are her birth certificated biological legal names is Lucy Lz Middle name This is getable It is a woman's first name that would not be mistaken for a last name nineteen sixty eight is when she was born Okay, I'm gonna say An Shirlely. I don't know why I'm it's not it's neither I'm supp an . Eiz say f podcast. I'm gonna I know. I know. We need to do video I people understandstand what your faces are like. And I if we don't put this fucking podcast on YouTube soon, I'm going to I need people to see what your face looks like when you are like that into it. like I'm not mocking it. It's like I know I know to see what I know that I know because I think I'm way' like no. I love it. likeike I won't be able to see it No, it's not sure.er It's not Siry, it's not Annt. It is One of my favorite names Alexis. Lucy Alexis. S Why not I love that. Wow Wow. It bitchy, It's glamorous. It's sexy. It's got that in it. Cass see Alexis I think Alexis, any timee you give a child the name Alexis, like you want greatness for them. Yeah. You don't give a name like Alexis to somebody to be like an accountant No yeah Yeah. If you name someone Alexis, you're expecting them to wear a red dress at a black and white ball. Allah, Alexis Colby from Dynasty. That is. Okay, moving on. That's all you want Here we are Guaina, now aged thirty seven I remember when she was in crazy rich Asians that I was lambasted by many people for not Kning who she was from the inter Webs beforehand, her rap videos and all the other stuff. I'd heard of her, but wasn't really visually familiar with her she was that big role. No,, definitely not, deffinitely not. I mean, I don't know, wouldould we say the crazy Rich Asians was breakout or did was she? would we say the breakout came before that I think that it's thing that made everyone know who she was Yeah. And I think crazy Ridge Asents happened around the same time as Oceans's eight. And so those two things together. Yes. I first remember her from her rap song Was the first one literally called My Vge? I'm like looking at it now. I think it was. Yeah. It was literally called My Vadge There's one, what's the one where she says that she's the yellow Ranger? What's call yellow Ranger So yeah there is one the song is Yellow Ranger. Yeah. There's one called Yellow Ranger and then there's one called My Vadge that I remember being very famous. And then the other one was NYC bititches And those were three songs that were kind of like, Remember like You know there's a track on that album called Queef, right? I'm surprised you've skipped over Qf. No, 'use that wasn't his famous And like I don't her music. Is it good It's like I'm likening it. Do you remember Craysawn Remember that song? It's like that kind of. Okay. L it's in that realm of like It's like in your face, it's rapping about sex as a woman in a time when it's kind of like like we don't want to hear that, but I'm going to do it anyway And like It's good for her doing it like out of her bedroom. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't like Is it serious or is it stuntty? or sort of a mix of things stunt. I mean, she has a song called Mayor Bloomberg Parentheses Giant Margaritas. It's's yeah You know. So it was like funny and it kind of made her like an internet thing. You know what I mean? It was like half serious, half joking. But then she kind of like kept doing stuff and she like She did some shorts and she did it like she kept like popping up as like kind of almost like, you know how they've tryed to put like YouTubers and everything and it never works. She kind of like did a good version of that where it's like, oh, here's this like niche internet person that like a lot of people will like Let me put them in something and it kind of like started to work for her, I think Do you know what I mean? And like I remember her songs and it being like, and I remember people being like, oh, she's so cool. And this like before Instagram was what it was and this is like before everything, you know what I mean? It's like, I'm like in college at this point and like That was really she was very funny in all of her songs. And I think she like did stand up maybe she was on girl code and that was like a fun. on MTV. That's like timeal show that we had. Yeah Yeah. And so that's like yeah, like she kind of cut her teeth on like the end of that era of like MTV where it's like, oh, I did these funny videos. like people are gonna now call me to be on an MTV pianel show. You know what? Yeah exxactly. Yeah. That's where I remember her from originally. And then whenever she started to get like oceans eight, I remember being like Aquaffina is an ocean b like what? next to like The biggest stars in the world or like I remember being like, what the fuck? Yeah Like Aquafin is in a me movie with Kaate Blinchet. Yeah, like li funnily enough I almost until I remembered about Aquafinea's loveve for Lucy Lou, we almost guessed Kate Blanchette's middle name on the show Really on this show today. onlyly because I was like, let's just pick someone from Ocean's eight and she was the one. that I chose, but then Lucy Lot sell in my lap I mean, and then, I mean, she's in like neighbors too. She's in some stuff. like she's in, you know what she does a lot of like forever and even now is like she does a lot of animated voice work. Yeah, she does. because she has a very weird voice She's very odd. You know what I mean? It's a very she speaks a very odd way. herer voice is very weird. And so it like lends itself perfectly to being a cartoon character And I mean, it looks like honestly, I'm looking at her IMDB or whatever. And like it looks like after the twenty after twenty twenty, which I feel like that's around the time people started being like, hey Mina Do you want to explain why you had a bl accent when you first came on the scene? then she was like,, I don't want to talk about it. What if I just do voice overver workks on? No one should look at me anymore yeah. Please don't look at me. She did like the Marvel movie and then she was like, voice acting only. Which you know what, if that's what she needs to do, that's what she needs Yeah I felt like she got out of that pretty as gracefully as possible in a way where it's like You know, when you know things are wrong, but you try to remember the time in which it happened and who it was, like Chris and I I think it was Ch. We spoke recently about Robert Downey Junr in Tropic Thunder and we were just like cringing at the top. notot that long ago either. Jeffrey Tambor and transparent. like not that long ago, but we're cringing over it. This falls into that category where you're almost a little more forgiving about it because You know, you know, she's from Queens and there are a lot of kids in the city who are not black who speak with a black accent, essentially. Yeah. And I think like cannot do that when you're a celebrity. No you just cant not as a celebrity. you can't do it. And it it's so funny because like, you know, another Asian icon that's like really coming up right now is Hudson Williams, right? Everybody loves themated rivalry And there's some cl anyyway. Are we sick could are we so sick of him? It's like painful, yes, but okay 's getting very famous. He's getting very famous. I' not interested every single time I see something pop up of him on threads, of course. But yes Yeah There's a clip that went around of him in like some he was like, I don't know, an extra in some show in Canada some like Lw and order looking show and he's like a suspect and he's doing this accent that sounds very much like a black accent. and apparently it's like very common from like certain communities like Toronto. And people started like shooting on him and they started like losing it. and they were like, oh my go like The Asians are doing it again. and I was like I mean, that's. But like even with Aquafino, right? I think the thing that like drove me bananas about her is like when she was about it. She she was like, I would love at some point to have a conversation about this. And they were like, is that time right now? And she was like, noope And then that was it. And then we like never got more. And then that was it. It's kind of genius. Is that is that? I mean, I don't know. I think, okay, here's why is it wrong? Yes, it's wrong. Like, you know what I mean?ike, yes, it's right Yeah. But if you're gonna, but like from a standpoint of like a PR thing, it's like She kind of didn't give it any fuel Yeah And like I that's all they want is to jump on it and be like, Aquafina says she is black and then like put it all over the internet. Do you know what I mean? Like Yeah, that's tr. Now I don't know how she did Scuttle's voice on the littleittle mermaid. Like did Scuttle have a black scent? Noot, It was like her black scent. But like what is her voice that's not a black? Like I guess I know it, but like I heard her recently on Amy Poer's podcast because she like sent in a voice message about like Jack White, who she's like best friends with now. or Jack Black, not Jack White because she does all the kung Fu Panda movies with him.. And It was like a perfectly regular person from New York. like there was no accent. So like that's the thing that drives me bananas about her. But yeah, I think she did a really smart thing. She said voice overw only. You'll never see this face again. You won't even know what I look like. It's fine what I will say, she does Oceans eight. She then does Crazy Ritich Asians, which was like the biggest movie of the year in twenty eighteen. you know what I mean H humongous hit. She becomes an international star Mhm And then does a really good thing where she then does like an A twenty four movie called The Farewell the next year, which was so good. such a good movie. incredible movie. I actually saw that movie on an airplane now that I think about it, is when I saw it It was so good. It was so good. She won a Golden Globe for that too for B Ais in a comomedy. Rightfully, rightfully so. like incredible movie. a movie that did not get enough press and was so fucking funny. and we watched it on a plane in Hassana and we're peeing our pants It was called Breaking News in Yuba County. Did you see this, Dominic? Oh no, I've heard about it. It's written for you. It is ridiculous and up like such a parody and crazy and it was so fucking funny and it's star studded. Bridget Everet is in it. Oh. Alison Janny is in it who Amila Kunis is in it, Regina Hoall is in it so many people, she is So funny in it Juliet Lewis is in it. like So many people, it is so fucking good. And she and Acaafina is like dropped like on the ground pounding my hand into the pavement like funny is fucking it It's so I'm writing it down. I'm writing it down I mean, then she does Ryot in the last dragon where she's the dragon and it's I feel like that's like her that was like her like last really good role Yeah. where she she is doing like that R that movie and it was I liked it. It was good. I liked it. But then she was in Shiangqi. She I mean, that's a big deal. She movie. That That's like a pretty big deal, you know? Yeah She's on Yeah, she's Sen Chhi and that's when and that's where what is his name? Simu Lio gets his like star turn after being in Kim's convenience Mm. I mean, she has she really wrote have we have we mentioned Norder from Queens yet because that was pretty good for a time. Like that was I watched every two. I watched every episode of it. I fucking loved it I thought it was so funny. I thought that when Boen Yang comes on as her cousin who does like venture capitalist like thing that was I still to this day when I think of like peopleeople being like a creator of like a new thing, I think of that thing where he's like, you don't actually have to like turn a profit or actually like have a product. You need to just have an idea and they just pay for your life while you try to make that idea work And that's literally what happens. She don't time. Yeah It was she know yes I never watched it. Was that on like aal Svace comedies Natal It's probably on paramount now if you're Yeah. it was. it was really good. It was very funny. And I got Bei Wong was her father. Her grandma, way howa when they go to when they went to Atlantic City and the grandma's fight over the charger at the food court. The best shit of my life. I didn't come back Wh I mean happen to come back? Didt to re it? It had like three seasons and I think then they were It was very fun. And she said, I gott to go do kung fu panda. And then she's like, Yeahah, she's like, let me get this real check by doing kung Fu panda for. I gotta go do Little Mermaid and kung Fu Panda by. She kind of was and not to do this, but she really was that like go to Asian woman celebrity that's funny that like can be like like for a time it would have been like for a split second. Yeah, it was her. It was only her versus like before it would have been like, I'm trying to think of like who would have been before? Like No, like Lgit like we had Mindy Kaling and Aquafina. Yeah. And they were both in ocean s Oh my go, that's so funny Where is Mindy Kalling disappearing in front of us on red carpet trly. But remember like we were like she like took so much backlash for being on Ozembic because she was the first one to show red carpet having dropped half her body weight and everyone was like, This is not natural, blah blah, blah. Fast forward, literally everyone of every single person. o we owe Mindy Kayly an apology, actually.. owes her an apology. I agree. I don't know that I'm a bigger fan of hers than I was before She didn't deserve all the gouffs she got for Ozempek for sure. No, not at all. nobody go G' B one. No. But what she should get gut for is pretending to be Meghgan Markle's best friend and going into a neighbor's kitchen and making like lavender soap with her I was gonna say she should get gut for pretending like she doesn't have children with BJ, whatever. Nov. Nov we know those are knock off. Is that true? 'causeuse I don't I don't know Is he the father of her children? No one knows, but they like know, like it's off. They're like, all those adults their gofather, but like people are every time, every few months, somebody's like, I was at Disneyland and Mindy Kalling was there with her kids and BJ No back and the kids were calling him Daddy It's like the same story every wee. Here's my question. whyy wouldn't they tell people like what's the big deal? I don't know. whoo knows Maybe she just like was like, give me your sperm. And he was like, Do he have a wife I mean, I don't know she seems to have a girlfriend. He was dating somebody like like an influencer for a little while. So I don't know. No then never mind. But you know, what he they probably don't want is like every single article being like, how Mindy Kayaling and BJ Novak like work through co parenting? and she probably like getting a fucking bra. Yeah You know what I mean? And that's true. Be they would, write like seventeen of those in one day Yeah, exactly quaina she was like that funny female comedian person to have in a movie to be like a one, in my opinion, a diversity box check. you know what I mean? for one and two, like Oh, we have this like crazy person that's going to be like Jack Black was that person for a long time to be like in a movie be c like is and Jack Black is in it and it's crazy. L Yeah trying think of like other comedian people that are like that. Like almost like can you imagine Judy them They were in Jumanji the last level together, both Jack Black B and Grafina And I remember people walking out of the theater because it was too madcap I made that up. I don't know anyone who saw that movie and certainly I wasn't one of them I have seen the Jimandjre movies with my children They're pretty good But again, are they L But like again, I see what it is what it is, L I'm at home, I haven't paid any money for this. I'm not wearing a bra. like it's fine. It's honestly decent plain movie. Slinger. Okay In twenty years will your children be hosting a podcast like we were just talking earlier about why do we need Hocus Poccus three? Will they be saying what do we need Jimanji The final frontier seven seven seventy five Yeah seven. I don't know. You know, I'll be honest with you. I don't know what the kids these days are going to be watching in ten years. Like there' I don't get it. I don't understand them I don't understand anything about what my children like or dislike. I don't get what's funny to them. Like they're complete aliens to me. And I'm like, arere you safe and are you loved? Are you fed? Are you getting good grades? That's literally all I care about. And like you know they they're interested as long as they're like interested in safe, like age appropriate things, I don't care, you know, but I don't understand these kids. I don't understand what makes them laugh I feel like it's all gonna be vertical movies, like vertical dramas that they're gonna watch on their phones. That's terrible. It's awful M Have you tried tickling them? Do they laugh when they're ticklled do You know what? they love? They did love stranger thingsings. They love nostalgia for some reason. They love stranger things. They really enjoy back to the future. Like they do love Oh wow Okay Bllish things, but they need to like be but that like they're not interested in something from like two thousands with like bad CGI. They're like, what the f Sure, yeah, yeah But if they're watching something from like the eighties or the nineties with bad CGI, they're like, this is fine. So like that's what No wonder they love rails. It sounds like a fucking museum in that restaurant. They're completely into it. When you go downstairs and rails, you take the elevator to the Speak easasy, there's like a window and you just see like cured meats and cheeses hanging from a window. It's hilarious omic, when you see a picture of this you know. but you've been there. you've been there on DV Field triter to rails, I can't wait I truly. By the way they have valet parking. It's a very nice establishment PS they don't need valet parking. There's a humongous parking lot right next to the place. They don it's so silly. Why do they have because it makes people feel good. That's why U God, what to do with her because she's so It's like you think she's niche, but she's not. She's super talented. Like we've seen her do so many things and she again, this is a case of We don't dislike this person at all. This is someone we want better for who because we don't But we just don't see her enough. This is the thing. She was super niche and then she became a humongous household name And but then again, it was like oversaturation and now it's like people are like becausecause you were this like hot ticket item. Now you're not the hot ticket item and you don't have like the Right? the like the resume to like fall back on. Do that make sense? Well becausecause Ocean's eleven, crazy Rich Asians, subsequently SNL And the farewell. this was all in like a twenty four month period and Farewell was a great like great movie. super your manager gets a high five for that because that's like a great to do with someone that was going where her career was going was to diversify her was great I don't know if it was a COD effect. I'm noticing too that like Nor from Queens ran from twenty twenty to twenty twenty three COVID nineteen also ran from twenty twenty to twenty three. So it's almost like when people are not at home, they're not choosing this product anymore. I don't know There's a lot of entertainment properties that had a similar Lifespan And she is doing a lot of voice over work. She's mostly active on socials. It's not like every week, but it's like every month or something She looks good, her socials are still funny. G listen to me, She looks good, but you know what I'm saying? She's like she's still like, there's every reason to believe that she should be overbooked. So I don't know what goes on in her personal life. We're just here to pick the projects that are going to work for her. but she's sort of A tough one because she ran the gamut. very quickly and very deliberately in like a short amount of time from like the raapstrouress behind Guf to the Golden Globe winning actress for the Farewell. It's like how do you do that in a short period of time? That's like, it's pretty of remarkable. Like the trajectory is so fast that you're like, this is going to go amazing. Like you are going be doing movies with Meryl Streep next or you're going to be doing voiceover work for like every Disney movie that kind. you know? Here's the problem. She's aquafina in everything that she does a That's the other otherther than the farewell, which like isn't as much that Like everything else. like even when she's Scuttle, she's aquafina is Sutle in a little m Do you know what I mean? It's likeike what weird bird will do a dance. Oh, it'll be Aqucafina. Like that's you know what I mean? And she was good in it and I love I loved the live action L mermaid. I thought it was great The problem is that once we got sick, once the novelty of her as a human being wore off Then it was like, well, what do we do now? And it's like, well, you can just be in Kun Fupand to seventeen, eighteen and nineteen. Literally legit which And again, and again, catch the fattest check ever for that by sure. Those are big like, you know what I mean? L she she's fine in that sense, but like What else is there to do? And she did successfully sidestep the like bllack Sen stuff I should really d And there is a part of me that wants to offend her and I have no like footing to do so because I am a white person that did not grow up in New York City. But like there is a part of me that's like she did grow up, did she not grow up in Queens And like I'm sure every single kid talked like that and that's their thing. But sure Again It's still not good. even if that's completely true. It's just like still bad and it doesn't really really matter I lived in Queens for five years. I had one of my kids there and my husband's, all his family, they literally came from Pakistan, got to JFK airport, got off the plane, and then went to Jackson Heights. that is where they settled in the seventies. I've spent a lot of time in Queens Sa. I have a lot like family there and everything. And yes, it does happen where like in the nineties, that's what they were doing. In the nineties, that's what they were doing in Jersey too where I grew up, but like some point. at some point you like grow out of it because at some point you go think this is right anymore. And I think the problem with her was like She didn't do that. She know she didn't know she didn't. That was like part of her stick. Yeah. She was like, my stick is actually leading into this. but Then she said, No, what if I just do Qiffing at Sutle Well, Christopher. Are we pulling up to the arena? I fixing arena The Wax cabin candle Company ix The wax cabin candle Comanany's fixing famous peopleople arerena It's better than like crypto coinery. No, we literally we were like joking. that's like the candle company that we collaborate with We love it. And love. And so we were like, oh no, that's like it legitimately would be that because that's like our biggest sponswor. Yes, she JLL Mates she did like an AI version of what that would look like and she said it to me, and I'd never posted it. I need to post that Oh you have to JLG if you're listening, send that back to me again because I need to post it Okay We're here The limos pulled up The door is opening. us out. Christopher Derose Nora, Lucy Lu, Larie, Job Llexis x I like this bull, you know God, I don't know if I'm going to win and I don't know if anyone's going to like this. I For real think that what she should do next is right A mem. where she talks about growing up, It's about being from Queens And like talk about the racism that you, I'm sure. experperienced in Hollywood and like the all the knows, all the doors being slammed in your face before you got to do Oceans eight and like got to do all these other things. Like I want to see the struggle before she becomes this international superstar because I bet you there's a really good story there I think there is where she then addresses her black scent. like situation. And that in that forum, I feel is a good way to address it because it's written on the page and that's what it is. and it gets you to sell a lot of books and it's the hot it's like the little like hot ticket thing that's like afina finally breaks her silence, Dominic about her black scent in new memoir called Noa F from Queens, You know what I mean and like I would buy that. I would listen to the audiobook of her talking all about her like, you know, me doing rap in my bedroom as a teenager And one of them being called My Vadge and one of them being called Yellow Ranger. And now look at me, Qif. Why do you always skip over CQif Be watchs. And what about this parentheses whatever margaritas? Big margaritas or something like I would love to hear that about her and that is a good place for her to like adddress it and like have it live and then like walk and then have it just be in the book and that's it and then you never have to talk about it You know what I mean? And that I think and that too then it brings her back into the circuit of like Oh wait she should be in this movie. She should be in this movie And that I think gets her back on the conversation if the memoir is really good And that's my pitch I wish I had a more cockamamey situation, but I just I think a memoir really really does well for her I too will be leaning on an idea that I may have used for other people before. I can't remember. but I actually have two prongs for my pitch. Okay. The first is that as far as addressing the black scent I'm not trying to be controversial or brave personal or tell a woman what to do or how a woman should present herself But I think going back to her name biological name publicly is probably a good first step in sort of erasing that part. likeike let's not be known as Aquafina, let's be known as Nora. Even if it's just an eponymous Nora. You don't even need to use your last name be, you know public about it. My feeling that the reason that she dodges it so much to me is that it's an uncomfortable conversation. You know, if you are Asian and growing up in Queens, like Nor just said, it's not expected that you're going to speak with a black sent, but you're also not going to be like thrown out of your school for doing that because everyone's A lot of kids are talking like that who are not black. And I think it's an uncomfortable thing for most people to talk about I think maybe going back to Nor is the first thing. but I think Nor al lum appearing as Mary in O Mary sort of brings a lot of shit together because look how much fucking press Maya Rudolph is getting It's, oh, Mary, I'm going to be obsessed with it forever because it's not just a Broadway show. It's It's incredible Hamilton it's the comedy version of Hamilton. like anyone who goes in and out of it gets national coverage It's just that property. It's just what it is and like there's like national investment in who takes these roles. Shed be perfect for it. It is a Broadway show. It does legitimize anyone who appears on Broadway except, you know, maybe for Rinna and Erica Jane in Chicago. still you know, this is a stunty show not like the way Chicago is. you know, this is like you got to have like some chops to be in O Mary, you You got to have comedy chops and she does I think she'd kill it. Would she be better than Jan Krakowski? I don't know. that's a tough Tough one because Jane was really good as was Jigs. but That's my pitch. Nora Lum as Mary and O Mary is the pitch. there I've tied it all together in one Wow. Wow, wowow Beautiful cetch dominated. Okay. amazing sur. You know, and it was a journey. We were like first the name and then I loved it. I loved all of it. By the way, you know, bringing up the thing about like growing up in New York and having a black accent or using it, you know, an accent or whatever and like use it Hello, our beloved oran Mondani was trying to be a rapper perod You, Perod, thank you You know, and look, he just came out today and he said, no more debt in New York City anymore. So anything is possible. Okay bothoth of those pictures were so good. I love them both. I love I love O'Mary. I got to see O'Mary with Titus. I don't know his last name. I see it with Bir. was good it. I was he was incredible in it. He was amazing. I heard he was great. He was amazing. I'm trying to go right now because Maya Rudolph's there. And I want to go see her obviously because she's like I obsessed there but I think both of those are so good. We talk about it almost every week every week Mary comes up in some way, it comes up every week. L every time there's a new casting We are so excited for it. It's so great. Player cards right, you might be the O'Mary arena You never know. You never know. G. You even better. I'm not not to sweeten my pitch, but during the cabaret section that ends the show, Nora Lum could sink Weef as part of one of the songs. Why not? I think that's a really good pitch. I love both of those. I love both of those. Okay. I've never heard the song before. The moment we're done recording. We're playing it. We're playing in Provininceetown. We're playing her whole album in Provincetown You should come in and out of your show to queen Okay, I love both of those so much. I love both of those pitches so much. Those are so good. Do I Is it not my turn to pick one? Yes, it is. You do. yeah. Okay. I want to say the memoir is such a good idea because I'm thinking about how Alena Dunham for many of us K kind of like disappeared for like a decade. She did girls. She had some bad takes. Everybody was like, Nina ut the fuck. She covered up for an assailant on her set. never forget. It was like bad. She once came out and said like, I don't really get people who get abortions because I never got one. And everybody was like,, Lena, you didn't have to tell anybody that That could have just been a text. you sent your friend Or just don't speak or just say nothing. Again, I was saying it on the on the prefix a couple episodes ago. just say no comment. Why can't you just say no comment? anyway? Yeah, It never hurts to shut the fuck up. She like disappeared and then we were like, okay, I guess that's it. She's done. And then she came out with this book Fame Sick that everybody's listening to. I'd be likeing if I said I'm not waiting for my library to have it available. I have it, you know, I'm on the list And I'm excited to read the book, but she disappeared. She wrote this book and then she did a couple of shows. She like wrote a couple of shows that were like received somewhat well. And then she was at the fucking mech Allala this year. So I was like, oh, Lena Dunham is back. So I think we recall that mech. Yeah, that fucking dress. The ugliest dress I've ever seen in my life. Yeah . That's one way to remind everyone you're still here. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it was one of those things where everybody, like if you wait ten years and then you write about the thing that everybody like pseudo canceled you about, because the other thing about Aquafina, and I think this iss true about Lena Dunham, is that they both Well canceled pre cancellation, pre people actually like taking to the streets and like going to the internet and being like, I'm not going support this person anymore. Like Kofina got it right at the beginning of that period of time and then she like disappeared. So I think I think waiting four more years and then writing a book. She's going to be on the Mac out the car, but, you know, in four years from and everybody will forget. So I think that's a that's a really good pitch. I do really like that But I am on record and any platform I've ever been given to shit on Kamil Naniani I don't like him. And this is not a podcast event here, but let's talk about It's not. Okay. It's not I don't like him. I really hate him. He pisses me off as a Pakistani woman. People say like he's really rude He's I just't hate him. People that have worked with him said that he's very rude I I mean, the big sick, That movie was supposed to be about a Pakistani family and a white family and he like made Ray Romano and and like Holly Hunter was like the mom of his wife or whatever is like his mother in law. They were like these complex, wonderful, amazing characters. And his family was played by like all these actors who were really good, but they were like one note, one dimensional. He had a scene in the movie where he took a stack of pictures of brown women that were potential like You know, people were like introducing him like he was going to be married the stack of pictures. And I was like, you're burning a stack of pictures of brown women in your movie and you kept that. Like that's like that's like not a story that you want to tell people. It was weird. Anyway. I hated him. Then he was on Marvel and he got really ripped and everybody was like, you don't look good You're ripped, but nobody thinks you're hot. They also people felt betrayed because he was like super nerd and then he started looking hot and they were like, why't you whyy't you abandon us? H Tob Braman who is works out every day and I would say that he's pretty fucking hot, but like that's not our natural like physical disposition We don't look like that Our genetics don't do that Okay. So it was it was like you' you felt like a traitor anyway It like ail on Janny, then you know why? He was on fucking OMary. And I heard he was amazing on OMary and everybody forgot. And then he had a he had like a comedy special And then I watched it And I was like Pre prettytty v him. And then you know the other thing he did, which I would suggest just add this on to whoever, whichever pitch we go with. is he once went on He went to like a Pakistani restaurant in L.A, and he ate biryani with his hands and then he spoke in Urdu and I was like is forgiven for me. And so I feel like if Nora from Queens, Nora, Lucy, Alexis Lu Lum, was to take that Bllino Bladell was to do anything like that. I feel like that could help, but Ohh Mary is a really good one because doesn't love anybody who goes on O'Mary. Like No when he said when he said it, I was like, that's the winner Guys, this is really hard. Oh I thought you were giving it to Dominik. I thought you were giving Dominik the win And I thought Chris was winning. I actually already wrote Chris on the form and then I deleted it when she said she like D't mry.ing shit right now. I don't shut up. Now she's talking about Camile Non January where the fuck this is going. No, I love that this's like my favorite tangent of the year so far because we should probably fix him next. No you doing it well Not really, you said I was forgiven It's fine, I guess I think I'm going to give it based on it's probably recency biases because I love O Mary. I am going to give it to Chris to Dominic, actually. Its beautiful it's a perfect thing for her to do. actually.cept I accept your honor with my gratitude. Thank you, Na. But Chris, a wonderful a wonderful and compelling pitch, which I liked even more when Norse like showered it with praise. I'm like, o, this is right. Like she's only as long as she wears a good dress to the she can turn it around the way that Lena did not I bet she has a deal from him rightight now. I bet you she actually Oh. one hundred percent. No, no no the other thing that helps these people is you need that person to go on one podcast and make three comments about a scandal happening on Bravo. and everybody's like go. literally I you're so funny, I love you. I always loved you. I don't know what the No legit. she's like, Amanda's a bitch. and then it's like, yeah, That should be like your like backup. If you guys don't get time to figure out how to fix a person, that should always be your thing you' like, I don't know go in a fucking bra. I mean does because even like Jul Wilson. when Julia Roberts is like, I love Bravo. Like I was like, love you so much. she was like when John Hamm is like, I watch Rear Houses in New Jersey every episode and I was like