Red Red Necky Comedy Impression

Comedy royalty, Kate McKinnon returns as Queen Mortuana and headads will Roll air apparent, a highly anticipated sequel to Audible's fan favorite original comedy series. She's flanked once more by co star Emily Lyn. And a new star started ensemble, including Richard Kine Lauri Medcaalf, Jimmy Fallon, Meghan Moai Sam Richardson and Carrie Koon plus an extensive cast of comedy greats, seriously extensive This is Wwall Cedy at the highest level When we last left our gloriously unhinged queen in her raven sidekick JoJo, The unlikely besties had fled to the woods for a simpler life while. didid not last. Queen Mo is back on the throne and air apparent and facing her greatest challenge yet Produce an air before her fortieth birthday or lose everything and spend eternity as keeper of the menstruary. It's a very sticky sitch Meanwhile, JoJo's botched wing enhancement surgery turns her into a toad. leading to unexpected interpecies romance and a choice between royal duty and normal life with her thrown on the line Moe and Jojo embark on an increasingly unhinged scheme to secure succession Medieval mayhem Razor sharp social commentary. headads will roll Air apparent is fantasy comedy the ages. It has everything, Tadwives, Plliccules, Sasquatch, mercenaries, milk peopleople, toadon mole romance, a child named Barbara. Seriously, everything, David When was the last time you heard of a child named Barbara? Well Don't miss a moment of Kate McKinnon and the Killer cast in headadsill Rll Air apparent Sed a child or seede the throne Listen to headads willill R roll Air apparent available now and audible go to audible. com slash heads will Rll sereries. Start listening today Imagine having a free day out in the town, sitting down for a nice lunch relaxing D you get an alert The window at your home' been broken while you're miles away It's that kind of thing that can turn your good day upside down. obviously. That's where ADT comes in ADT security systems for situations like this twenty first seven monitoring to help keep your home safer, whether you're there or not No one wants to feel unsafe at home with ADT. You won't That's right. The systems are professionally installed by trained technicians. So protection starts from day one ADT also has the most company operated monitoring centers in the industry. and the ADT app lets you keep tabs on your home from virtually anywhere Don't wait to prepare your home for an emergency. When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADt d. com or call one eight hundred ADT AS AP. My wife goes they're eating the afterbirth. Well, who doesn't eat the afterirth? Who would pass it up? H a death fl Yeah, My hair right now, I'm the c star to my hair. It's just too much hair my tiny face, so I need to take it down. If you put more product and grew it five more inches, you could be the basis for like Ao Sedwagons bllue oyer colult. I'm going to burn your dick off. Remember that part where he had him spread eagle and he's had a laser? C finger. What do you want me to do? I want you to dive. I want Dh It sounded like I love it. Hey, I didn't mean no harm, b mean Come on. I'm your daddy. I'm entitled to a little bit of sugar You look like you're about to get interrogated. Do I lookt I feel like I look like I'm in black and white Right, there is a little bit of Felix theat in you, you know. You look warm and cozy. I thought it look great today then what will tell the Millions of fans Let's just let's let's. Let's come clean right now. Right. Everyone's freaking out. The message boards are lighting up We'll go to the phones in a minute, but The story is I amm moving Mmhm and I am in my newew place which I haven't moved in yet, but becausecause of the timing of these podcasts and the high high demand Isah We had to get one done today. and so we just moved this over to the new place And it's so much more complicated Even though it looks like we don't give a bat fck about this, we put millions of hours, man hours into this. You're over there stacking five of our energy boxes, That's half your day. I'm Look at my, can you guess what's behind me in the car? Those the Beatles songs? That is vol Beatles. This is Meet the Beatles Capital Records signed by all four Beatles. bs A rare That's really hard to get I'm prepared to hand you F thousandousand dollars for them I know because you're a bit of a nosehound for guys John Lennon's glasses or Elvis' belt. You know, I like that stuff too. I think it I got a good Marilyn Mon Roe thing too, but Nosehound is what they called me in college when I was around the Caa I can't imagine you would Cakana. I would just I would do the microscopic bump and I'm make yada Can I ask you a question about this new room you're in? Yeah, it's not working. Does it have a window I know, I know I know what you're going to say. I know No no. I you know what we're going to say? If it just just stare at the window it is the best lighting, which it is. But my fragile eyes and retinas and irises can't handle it What you do is you u You have drapes you can narrow it. And then you have this sort of It's got little tiny holes that like it's sheen. It's almost like a plastic sheet that It diffuses the light You'll see Do you think my left side of my billboard forehead is too bright heatherers should Put that one down a little bit Well, why is flying the wall in black and white and you're in black and white? I don't know because we're new and we I wish five hour energy was somehow in black and white because I watch an old movie No. I don't think I can do that. just down that one down a bit. I'm just trying to get some color in me because it's so Yeah just turn it off. That's fine I mean, it's really No win situation. Everyone's bored of fucking tears, but Mvie is a pain, but Heather and Evan came over here yesterday and really It's so much crap to put cameras and lighting. Oh no, I' It's this should in a perfect world, this is like just a test and then we messed Yeah, we messed up something on the camera with the color, but we'll fix it. So anyway, let's get right down Let's get down to the to the whole nitty gritty. I have stuff talk about, but you want to start. I know what you want to start Well, we basically, you know, I live on a farm and our caretaker We put his two horses in our front pasture and they're our friends and everything. We feed them carrots a of And one of them is pregnant and then we didn't know it was going to happen. So I was up with Nilon playing the Woodland Park outdoor event. Yeah. And that was this it was the crowd was great, but it's a forty foot high stage U there's no screens and they're just like it's like woodstock. They're just out there. I I had I had some relatives coming and they were probably one hundred and fifty yards from me And they and they they they said we thought we thought it was real funny. But anyway, so then I flew back here after, you know Oh there. Oh w. seeee, that's the baby the end. yeah. I know and I'm calling the baby for now the working name is David Spade. full name Look a little spady That's me and Farlay U yeah, without any stairwell nearby. maybe thrown down. No stairwells. No but just cement stairs. So we woke up Tuesday there were shrieking coyotes because the baby was born and they were shrill like wor Oh did they want in on the act Yeah while the mother. So the mother look like it dead. The mother was just limp in the field. So was the baby. So it was like, let's get the baby before the mother can protect it.. So we called our caretaker and he came down. he came down the little road here like seventy miles an hour. So what happened was she had gave her a shot so she her teh wouldn't come out. she couldn't lactate. So it was getting hot up here and the babies really it would get up and fall down and get up, fall down. So we were kind of worried. So he did all this stuff for hours, gave it a second shot. So bab Bah, Bab Ba stayed all night, twenty four hours. we kept saying, canan we do anything, takeake it to a ved or anything And then by the next day it was fine. But we had at one point fifty vultures hit the front field vultures, you know and they were eating the after birth. C you do that That's a delicacy. I was like, what are they doing out there? My wife because they're eating the afterbirth. Well, who doesn't eat the afterbirth? Who would pass it up? Yeah Myset So it's nature, man. I know you like everything called, you know, sort of like structureginized and big cities buildings. Yeah steel and concrete. We have vultures, we have coyotes, we have horses given birth. and so everything worked out great So it's really cute. we have a new picture same picture there. Well, I had a video I sent too if you want to Oh, really? if they have it. I don't know. it's up to Heather. I know there's a new place who might not have all the bells and whistles of the regular Super produced podcast. I know. Well, it does look interesting. I had a white shirt on, but I put this black coat on because I it's so white and it was so reflective. like I don't know. We're fixing We'll have it all set great incredible. come on I will say that the other day I did go to my local pub and watch the World Cup And you don't know anything about this, but the World Cup is on right now? I saw it see. I will say peopleople like you can going to watch World Cup like Yeahah it was fun, but I'm like, I didn't know it was whole fucking summer. Like it's I thought it'd be a cute long weekend. couple games. Well how long does it go? into July to the end of July? Damn. Yeah Yesterday Well, at press time the USA will have played Bosnia Hergzovia It'sight two countries at once And one How could a country of that name actually win? I mean it's demoralizing because even the players can't pronounce it. We have Bosn I'm from Blosnia. I'd like to buy a vowel I'm from Bosnia and I'm very casual within my attitude. I'm Plasma Haskachnaksky We are the country of KapanQuito. tri to score on us, if you will. Oh, by the way, with the horse thing beforehand before we leave it this subject completely. Well, this is something that be very use. Hor There's horse people up there. We go to a party like three days and four This woman talks about, well Mostly everything's fine, but about one out of thirty, they don't really breach. So sometimes the face will come out and then pop back in and then come out and pop back in. I'm like, Okay. now One hoof might come out, donon't do anything. Don't pull on one hoof. She's telling me this at a party. You're like, I'm not I'm not going cross my mind Soull it out. Two hooves come out And the head comes out, then you just lean back And for you maybe No, that was the advice. Yeah, she was giving me advice. If it's blame back and the head comes now goes, Hey, can anybody give me a hand? If it goes she goes, Dla to help ull And you're like, I shouldn't get involved. It's so funny they' pull on one leg and like, I'm gonna do this. I'm always up experts. hire an expert because one time we had a smell under the house And like you want to get in that crawl space? me. I go with a flashlight. Well is there a guy we can hire that is entire job is to get in a crawl space. Yeah weird smell? Let's that guy that's in heaven down there. They're doing ten times a day. I get it. Okay, that's the endim my. I used to say When I used to do stand up and I wasn't doing good guy would s theide and go shakey legs, Colt Sake legs cult. Oh, shaky legs, Col That's that means You're a new colt, which is a new horse. Right. and you shake you out. And it'll shake you like yours You got to get your legs like a nice a skatebard So you got to really get some confidence. but I guess your boy Allright some com. Oh, it was it was at least a full day of Charlie Chaplin's slapstick or Buster Keaton. It would jaunt and then just boom slow. I didn't walk for a week, I don't know. So, that's not long. A day is good. Also back to USA versus whatever I will say it was nice because to see the whole bar unified instead of like the Eagles versus the Cowboys yelling back and forth Everyone's pulling for the USA which you never see anymore. And they were literally chanting USA after a goal, which you're kidding You never see that. Wow. Isn't that crazy? I mean, ten seconds, it faded fast, but That was kind of cool because you know, and and the same day where I see on the news someone in San Diego, a couple got They had an American flag in their yard and or sticking out on a fo pole and they a choice to take it down. It offends people and you're like In this day and age, I think everyone's USA, I don't know if it's great prospects in the future, but If you could probably put up any other flag of any other country and you wouldn't catch flack, but that was that that sort of caught me off guard Yeah, that's that's a that's a surprise. And it is fourourth of July weekend. Can yound the rules, I guess, HOA? Is it okay for France to kind of root for France? Is it okay for Germany? Is it okay for the USA to kind of go? They're not perfect, but it be the su we are on her we're here. Yeahah. this, you know, Can we root for our team without I mean, I are hot dogs offensive. I mean, I guess anything that rhinds through a fourth of July This two hundred fifty when it gets over will be fine with me because it just brings up so much hostility Well, Yeah, it's a little bit of a halvesy move, you know, I mean, you get the centennial, you get that. You get the b centennial. Oh, a two hundred fifty two half is not as sexy. Let's go three. I agree. I mean, one hundred two hundred, I'll give it Yeah, but two and a half it's a stretch B Centennial was a big deal when I was Very small day I was very tred. G, you were like in seventh grade. Yes. likeike two years old, ye So What was fourteen know she was. It made her day, man Sat super happy. By the way Oh I do my big joke about if Iran has to play the USA. Oh yeah, what's your what's your bit on that? And I'm like I was like, awkward If they have to play him in the World Cup, like You guys aren't still mad, are you? Like Those bombs were four days ago. Are we still talking about? We still also probably we play aran, they would just block the tunnel and control the traffic in the tunnel. All right. Yeah. The lock room in the stadium You know, because part By the way, are we still and are we still at war or peace or somewhere in a grreay area in theid? U I've seen this play before. I come from another time When I heard Middle East war I went Huh. That may be may drag out Yeah, you basically you throw in special ops guys that just keep an eye on the country. they blend in. Looks like they got some nuclear dust. you drop a bomb on them, but this thing All I want to know When anybody or there's a brain trust, even making a movie, there's a brain trust. Everyone should get around and go we're all so excited but what could go wrong Let's spend two hours of what could go wrong. Right. Let's do that first because I mean, even Ukraine, I felt it was sort of pitched like it's going to be a long weekend Maybe going to next week, worst case. They always sort of sound like it's cut and dry and it's not Very complex. It's a two week thing then When Ukraine gets absolutely no attention, still He they're like guys, remember we were like the story And now It's also, I think the problem is they're saying there's no like leader of Iran. so it's like You know, you're at a car dealership in Sritos Auto Square and they're like, bro, bro, it's me. I'm the guy to talk to. Well, yeah, because they blew up the Ayatolla and they blew up another fifty guys. Well these are the final leaders and then them and then there's like more coming, youre right I do use cars in Baknar Yeah I'm the guy. You talk to me, I talk to my guys. they run all the dealerships So it's sort of a I'll say this is not even political at all, but warfare' changed because of drones and Ukraine has become and it's really Samon and Goliath or Goliath and David basically would be a better analogy. but so you can take you can get a three thousand five hundred dollars little put satual bomb to it and shoot a million of those. a big aircraft carrier. Right. So we need to reinvent the way we It's real Ashford and Simpsons Remember that singing duo? No, I was trying to think of an equivalent. I know you're thinking of saying What Sampson and Goliath are David and Giath? David and Goliath, but all thoseangle Samson was the guy who was really strong and then didn't cut his hair or something? The woman wanted to cut his hair that he was weak. He was the first whipped Oh Biblical character. I think it was I think I was here. I think he the girl made him get a perm And he got wed. The girl gave him a tattoo of a heart And then he had no power Wilted All right, back to school starts now, get long lasting battery life on the deell. XPS laptop powered by series three, Intel Core So you can work from anywhere. now starting at six hundred and ninety nine dollars with exclusive student pricing starting at five hundred and ninety nine dollars. and it's lightweight, portable and packed with enough processing power to make multitasking a breeze So say goodbye, new distractions. And hello to more free time because you finished your work faster Complete your setup with savings on select monitors and more must have electronics and accessories Limited time deals and free shipping on PCs and more await you at deell dot com slash deals. That's deell dot com slash deals Right now, get up to fifteen percent off select Storage solutions Put heavy duty HDX totes to good use, protecting what's important to you. 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I wish I could say I don't know what you're talking about. Right I'm too honest. so We found the guy that fixed it and he kind of do me solid. So let's save it for next week. All right do see. We added here. we fed And I'm naming names because I'm going to give them a week to say, Hey, we got to make this right. Yeah, because they should the people should know. These are two words new homeowners or people trying you don't want to hear if you're the homeowner or the new or trying to buy a home U it's got mold and dry rot. Other than that, it's perfect. Mld and dry rot. Mld, dry rot and fire ants M'll see in the bedrooms U Yeah, I fixed everything. It too It took months because it's it was a complicated issue, but I did I took care of it. So Come buy it Da. you might need it. You can buy it out of your bar tab Right, am am I if the stocks do what I want him to do. We'll see what's going on with that change. Oh yeah you got money. You got Mula flor. No. I left a lot of after. You Jane Casino Rale, you know, with the new Bond cat, you know, the guy's eye is bleeding, you know, and you were one of those two cats. okay I like when everyone Everyone, James Bond has got this mystique where The producers about once every two months float out. Harry Styles might be the next chream. They just keep it alive by just saying anyone and then people vote in, oh, we chime in chirp in and you go, who cares really at a certain point? Let's just Well, well because a lot of people just totally connect to Sean Cony. Con Son Conreay. And I thought it was smart when they just didn't try to do anything like Roger Moore Pierce Bronson who did great jobs and they went with Daniel Craig, you know. Yeah. who never did a push up. never did a push up score up and down. he'll never do another one and they threw a couple buckses away and he Guess what? on the set the first day reporting for Boty Like a good fun. I told you that when I was at the Oscars. pandemic, I think. I went back stage and there's a bar there. Daniel Craig is there in a tuxedo having a martini and I said, are you ever out of character? Yeah. But he's a character actor that guy. You know, and he went Waynesworld party on, exxcellent Oh yeah, that Yeah. Party on ye don't need anything of that. I'm getting my summer cut We've heard a lot of teasers. Well clearly I haven't gotten it, but I'm getting it. It's way overwhelming You get a trim. You're like somebody who has someone in a closet waiting to come out to in your hair. The thing when you're rich on the road, if you're doing the road firstirst sign. is you travel with a barber. Yeah Not me though. I don't know how I don't do that. but I'm saying that's I know two people to travel with Barbara. They just have so much money. they just are burning it. They're just like, I need this guy and I need a Oh, you need a masuse, a barber you know, a lot accountant, a therapist, you know. someomebody pop my . The main thing is don't let someone cutting your hair get too chatty You know, they get chatty and you're talking and all of a sudden, what happened? That's the whole thing all of a sudden look like you right now So what's the summer cut? What's the plan? Do We have some Inpo picks we can show the audience You come up with a phrase and it become that's Inpoick is real, I think, right, Heather Yeah, Inpo. So you bring in a bunch of pictures of people you like Well this is what I say to people and I don't know if you took my advice buton Never lead with your hair No, I did not take that off. see that guy with his hair. So my hair right now, I'm the c star to my hair. It's just too much hair for my tiny face, I need to takeake it down. If you put more product and grew it five more inches, you could be the basest for like ARo spepeed Wagoners. Blueyster c. Well, Jagger still like this. A lot of old Rckst still just have a it gets a little drier and you need a little three minute miracle in there Cers A a while, but these rockers I've seen I saw the Dooby Bothers And I wanted to spray their hair with, you know, a quart of vil Well, were they literally taking it to the street or they in little bio. Yeah Yeah and they were also dry long hair work it's brush fire easily Well, here's the thing what you do, and just a news flash for people. So if you're an aging rock star You basically You grow a beard Then you grow your hair out And then you put these on. Oh oh. and you're basically any age You know, you're cover yeah, you're covering anyard cover a real beard, you know, like this gets rid of this and then you just ha it way out and then you always have sunglasses on, but you try not to have the white beard No, no, no. I think someone is yell. No, no no do a thing in a wheavor and Nobbody nobody colors their hair or dyes their beard though. noobbody I'm gonna be the first D. Hey, we are the product, man. What else you got? becauseuse I don't have too much going on Fourth of July weekend They're traveling. there's oh, we have a new gas tax started the first of July And I didn't feel bad when they said it's up It's two cents a gallon, I go. I can handle that. And they said, well It was sixty one cents. now it's sixty three cents a gallon. A gallon in California You know, they call it mission creep. It's like tax creep and I don't mind I want to pay tax, but I like I'd like to get a statement says here is where your tax dollars went. That's all. like I did something Yeah, this went to a supervisor who was a hell of a nice guy Ws in Lode, California, seven hundred eighty thousand for assisting the penguin trainer I just want it to be penguin train Yeah, the penguin train. Detawing the penguin's flappers when it gets out of the pool Are you a big for the July guy There is some fourourth of July pressure. Okay can't see Why is there pressure? Beause people like, what are you doing? On the fourth, what are you doing the wholekend? What are you doing Better be a lot, go. And I'm like, well I used to kind of float around in a boat in a harbor in Newport and They have fireworks and I think they still do, but a lot of cities are not doing fireworks anymore and And then you're like, well, You can't really take that a week in what's left? Like fourth of July is really Then they do a thousand little tiny drones that blink lights and move around and do all that over Santa Monicaca, right Yeah Yeah. know Well, listen, you and Heather won because they're they're all going away and so now it's just What's the four an. I know and know and know about the scared animals. They can't run the show for every reason of the war. I mean, I know it sucks, but like my dad, I'd say, I don't like the noise. He goes lifeife's tough, Daby. You gonna be okay? You don't get your way every time Not a great dad Was that like on high? Was that like imprinted into your brain? Yeah, I hated it You gonna make it You're gonna make it, Daby So when you first started as a stand upp, you were fledgling. Yeah. didid your dad advise you Before you got famous, O that needisco Gong Well, I was just trundling along and bundling. I didn't even tell my parents I was doing stand upp. Itid't matter, but I was in this San Francisco standup company competition. So they came That was a big one. And that's where Robin Williams gives me a five hundred dollars check and Mardalls back there And my dad said after the show to my brother, Oh, Jesus Christ, who knew Dane was funny? He didn't know it his whole life No, because I would just go like this and get out of the room. Why would it run and cry out in the bushes? No reason to be in that same room. you know That's craz. craziest dads. Yeah, my dad started coming to the bar because I would perform at in Scotttsdale because He'd say he was with me and my dad and eat charge drinks And then they would charge them to me. It's kind of heady stuff. You know, My dad had a cattle and then He came to my house once and he I had a Mercedes Benz at that point firstirst time I had money four twenty SL. he went out in the morning and he measured my car And then his car. Oh, I got your beat Dane. And then his his driver's license plate in the back was it said father of Dana Carvey And then he because I was sending the money with my mom and stuff, he would have a billfld with like hundreds of dollars and buy drinks for everyone So yeah, he was an interesting exactly the same. My dad would meet me at the jet lag. like even on Thanksgiving, the jet lag bar was in a strip m nowhere near an airport b. I have drinks for everybody kind of Jet lag and I met him once Okay, and Bartender's like, o, is this your son? He goes, Yeahah he goes this one's going to cle up your beilly He goes Hey, let him get settled. Jesus I didn't, you know, those days and I feel bad for this generation, you could move out if you if you had like three hundred bucks a month as a bus boy. My room My room was fifty eight bucks, had roommates But then later on, my dad a little bit tried to redo history So one time he said, Oh Jesus Christ, I always supported you I go, Well, no, you didn't support me or not support me. I just went to some clubs and now I just did on my own. Now I'm telling you. Now I'm telling you. And he goes, I was your fucking North light. I wasn't mad. It wasn't mad. It was just it was. It wasn't my fault Mike took all the credit for me and then he switched over to Kate Spade and said, If it's a female, he says, I'll get you Kith sppade versus. Itangeage you for now It's human nature. What are you gonna do? I mean Okay, let's get to some pot store What do you do about it What are you gonna do about?, I haven't been that. What do about it there you go there you. Heather had it, I kind of muched mched it just right here. What are you gonna do about it? Are you going to fight that guy? Yeah, I'm to fight. What are you gonna do about it? What you gonna do about it? Yes. Yes I's gonna do what I do but you know what you can do about it. Okay, just for the fans. Okay car. Oh yeah. Okaykay, this video. What do you think's happening here with this car driver Someone falls asleep, someomeone's drunk I remember watching this ago. I didn't know what was going on I feel like someone left their car and drive orr a little kids driving in Oh ye, a little baby will get out of cour. Why is it slowing down If it's left and drive. No sound. Oh, now it's going to go backwards Oh no, a kid Baby? No delivery person delivering because there's no driveway on the lawn Here's a try when they said, fuck it. They said, What's shorter? The shortest distance between two points is a straight line That's funny. likeike this is a huge story. The car is driving on the lawn. I know I tried to trick you because I was tricked. I saw it and I go, It's gonna blow your mind. Yeah Who moves those cameras? Is that a ring camera or something Look, Hey man, I think This one sees absolutely no problem with that No big deal You know, spin out a little bit in the grass. Cars that Dana Uh Dodge Centra Ionet know I'm usually good with cars I didn't know what that. Okay the next one I likek that. That one you did have no idea it was good Okay, a child disrupted his performance Is there any sound on these Yep. Oh, this is cute. This guy iss like a professional. violinist Yeah Okay You would, even th know it's like going fast and slow but God Is it in fast speed? Well, that's kind of cool. So I like that. The guy was like good and then You just So he gave the little cute girl the bow and then give her leaned against it and played played a little soul. Yeah, give her job. And she had a big smile on her face. That's the feel good. We have some feel good ones. Besides the horse horse shots, that was the best Yeah, that was a feel good one. What about my two horses though Yeah, they're Well, you didn't picture the other one, the one that they've been hooking up. Oh, well, yeah, that's a whole other story. I'll save this shot Where's the one that was the dad or the mom? What's that one? The mom U That's the mom. There there is there is video of the actual seeing someone love making but ase, I don't know if we can shot it But is the dad seeing someone else at this point and they're sort of separate or what? I don't know. Seeing other horses on the yard. Yeah. Here's what I'll said embarrass. Okay, Okay. then we'll go to our next big story. Will I swquirm around in my let's get it a banger. let's get a banger. Okay Oh, I would go crazy You're flying and someone opens the door. This you always think this could happen? Of course You wouldn't care. I'd be fucking I'm assuming the door' gonna to flop open. Look at Dan in the front with the wind going, why would you do that Oh, they blanked their faces up. Well, why is it Oh the some passenger actually pulled the thing and opened the do And then once it's open, you can't get it closed I guess because it's a suction thing. I'll explain it later with them on a cocktail napkin I saw it in Goldfinger up in the plane. Yeah. Oh didn't fat Goldfinger get sucked out of the window? Yeah, got sucked I that By green blow bl blow felt Bond James Bond Good luck getting our shckled do chair on shot Yes, You're a fine laser I'm going to burn your dick off. Remember that part where he had him spread eagle and he's had a laser I was like not cool. Come on, we're guys dude. Cot finga. What do you want me to do I want you to die. I want you to die. Sounded like a Lvit. Yeah, Lovit should have been should have been Boldfiger. Actually, John would have played it pretty funny gold finger for U money penny Yes, Smish Moti. I love money Penny. That's a good name Not a lot of people a money Penny anymore I'm finding my travels That's a great move. All right, let's see another comummy video. hereere we go. We're doing great man This is a ragtag one in the new house, so will say. Yes. And we're doing, okay here we.an government gave a list to FIFA of thirteen thousand dads who have not paid child support and said they may not go to a game. Yeah, yeah. So people were like, well, did did you just take away their passports or something likeike you're the government I want a burn You're not entering the fucking stadium. Wh Is that the?, that's why I want you to react. Well, I can't believe she was I thought I thought you was It was like this Yeah, she gives the podcast something Yeah. You should be like this W Cool Had something wrong with it? Why? better They know how to do it. What' I thought FIFA was fuck around and find out, but it's not. It's something with soccer What was that video about? I got a That video was Argentina has so many deadbeat dads that They have them on a database and when they came because everyone loves soccer down there When they came, oh yeah, they popped them. and then they said, you're not going You can't go to the game and they're like, what where My dad came up with one phase But my kid is on SNL. let me Hey, I didn't mean no harm D mean I'm your daddy. I'm entitled to a. littleittle bit of sugar. We bought him a car once and it was like a three hundred ZX like too old to have it And he's like I told my brother Andy, I go buy it for him. I mean, I just got him a condor. You you get him in the car and he's like How much is it like It's like twenty seven grand. He goes okay. And he calls next day. goes, you rat fucker. it was forty And so I see my dad. I go, You told me he was twenty seven. He goes, He I gotta get the pin stripes Come on, man, I got to get the sheep skins You want me I got to represent. This looks bad on you There is something called kind of a lovable scoundrel. You know And your dad is and you know, my dad people loved him too. He had a lot of friends, you know. You gott to forgive him. You human. You want me to have a little bit of a pimp sled, don't yout I'll embarrass you if I drive a gelopie. I go That's a really good point Yeah Okay, next story. He did. He said, this is for you. when he that's his spin was like, You wanton me to have a nice car because it looks bad for you. What is this thing What is this thing? answer right now June sixth. This is a. eighth ninth, ninth. night Um and Grantth them Are those spider webs Something not good. Yeah. Yeah an. Oh she this never happened before. Okay. If those are spiderwbs, first of all, I'm moving to another planet Second of all, you can I've seen people light them on fire and they go right up It's like cotton candy that shit They don't have a plan to get out Dude, what if you were stuck in there? I couldn't cry hard enough. I'm so scared of spider U I like spiders that I was about to say you're going to no you would be bawling You'd be trying to get out like the horse. Pull me out. E, I'm stuck Hey, pull the baby out. Yeah I'm not gonna pull the baby out. What are you gonna do about it? Oh God. That's good. That's good. It came back Heather, can you close that middle curtain because it's blind This house is a blinding Well, my lights changes too in here with You know, the problem is there's so many windows, four pantries, whatever. It's a mansion. These are other you'll get some diffusion things that' make you I know everyone makes fun of me because I go, Well, sorry I don't want a laser beam in my eyes. or like, Ohh are you closing the windows, you pus? I go Well, if you can't see this TV, it looks just blank Who is this character that My friends hate me, they all yell at me. What are you puss? What are you doing? No puss A fragile post That's kind of true though. Okay, more and more. By the way, we're ripping through this because even though I'm uncomfortable, I'm really putting on a good show. Yeah, that's you always bring it in a m I always fucking bring it. tumultuous stuff. We had a good E Norton Cliff about Fight Club that blew up the internetw multi millions Millions of millions of outiers. Mine on Instagram is seven million Really? It was churning out the I mean, do we get a penny? No, It doesn't matter, but good. L lookooks good to brag about when I'm out at like sevenleven. I talk Jesus it had more clicks than a Broadway dancer, you moreore clicks than a fucking seatbelt in a corolla What about Nathan Lane was funny too I thought Nathane wasny.'s on right Nhing L was great. That was your buddy. I was Yeahah, we were We guys we' cracking this month experience that We never really talked about like that. And was it was just stunning that how much we were remembered the same crazy shit. There's much more. We could have done a three hours fed. This is something you should do if you're in your in your hotel window in your board, Heather Dan, you too Not fastbard, not fast board notock passast boards I don't know Why is are we fast slone Never So people just act like they're helping people walk. Well, I think it's actually kind of funny. I'll move the car shhutting doors. Well, it's because she's Oh, that was good. push the bus to. It's kind of positive and she's guiding them in. I mean it's kind of a positive.ople used to go like this and like squish people, but this is a funnier spe. Get on the bus, get in the phone, get on bus. I don't think it was in that speed though, but it's kind of funny No, they altter the speed maybe a little bit too much But I think we're I think all of these are going too fast I don't know All of these All of these videos A we out ramped up Well I see what you're saying, Technical issues. Yeah R But how about this? I saw the sppurs once, your're precious My spurs B b by I saw him at one of my hotels in the road And the bos pulls up They allll get off and they're walking in the lobby and all like this You know? And then the last guy's carrying a basketball. I'm like, all right, relaxed. He's like this I'm like, we got it. We all know you're on the basketball team. You're all eight feet tall. he's got to be like, huh I don't walk into a hotel and and carry a microphone. Hey, is this the front desk Are you two married Wh's the gift shop So everyone does't a comedian. That's funny Yeah, I know. Look at this guy, Is that a new shirt? Your summer weekends fill up fast, but Crocx has your back. Road trips, beach days, last minute getaways, whatever's on the agenda, swing by your local store and find your new goat too Try it, style it, make it yours. becausecause the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. Wock out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest crox store today. Take your flexibility beyond the mat with PayPal Pay nothing at checkout. Then enjoy a flexible monthly payment plan that works for you. With no sign up or late fees. Find yours then, and an easy way to pay. With PayPal. Download the PayPal app to get started. Subject to approval. pay mononthly consonsumer loans made by WebBank. Available through PayPaling N ML nine one zero four fivety seven. Learn more at payPal d. com slash pay mononthly Got a Sam's cafe pizz order up M. You know the best part about this spicy Italian sausage? I voted for this topping. Yeah, just another perk of being a member. Come join us. Sam's Club One thing great about football or soccer. Is that Messay is maybe the best ever? I think he's like five, five You can be tall but you can be basketball. there was Sud Webb. I think he was five, seven. He won the slam dunk competition. I remember that kind of mind blowing. But I had an elevator for one time open up and it was an NBA team there and all their and it was like just a It's very weird. Everybody when you watch if you watch WNBA, you Caitln Clark who we like up Sophie Cunningham work so they're on there and She's kind of funny. You see her when she was pointing the other day? It was kind of funny pointing at the other side. She went on S andL like A couple years ago, I think. Topie Cunningham? No Note Caitlin Okay, Linda, did she do something? Yeah, she wass funny. She was on update, very poised. Oh yeah, that's great. yeah. She went dancing for get like Dracula in Hotel Trnsylvania, but I don't don'tgue. I can't argue U But she's great And Sophie, maybe we could have one of them on because It's kind of fun to talk to, I love. The whole world is interestnting world. Yeah.' But the point was Like she's six feet tall. She doesn't look it really. She's skinny but When they're all standing out there, you don't know. Charles Varkley looks short, but then he's six six P these next to all these He's next to Shaq who's two. Yeah, it looks like. I don't even go to games for that reason. I don't even want to be near a photo of M me and a basaskal. And they're like. So you the billionaires and the owners of the teams and they're I guess they're kind of slight and sort of hunched over and nerdy. Yeah Most of them, you know, you know, they got them. That's not me, though. Um Okay, let's do another story. and then I got a million things to do today and I need you to help me move Bob. Yeah, ye. I've been up twelve hours at this moment. Okay, this is Bangkok, which you don't know what it is, but I'll show you in a map I know what mean. This is my biggest fear Okay. this is cars I would like to know. And here comes a sinkhole Tinkho Sinkhole, where do you go when you fall? Where do you go? It's getting worse Where do you Wow I've seen sinkhols and people go in them and I go. Not the way to go. You're disappearing, you disappear You're like, hi, I'm gonna just cruise off to the center of the earth. Well, it sounds like the guy's talking to the falling concrete., waita wait. It's not gonna to do anything. No, no, no, no, no, no no, don't do that Well, he'd be so scared, like how scary If you' that car, that white car, I'd advise you to get out the other side Okay, let's see, no note to self cancel that little Little journey to Bangkok this su day off main Street first yeah, now our government's looking better and better. Al we get pots, but now I go to Bangkok.aps. You love it so much you go to Bangkok You hate it here go. Yeah The whole thing can collapsse Okay, wait, we' do one more Let's do one more and end on a real. I don't know if this is it Whenen we have to do three h three hour energy,. Five hours. Well, let's see your after this we'll do it Okay ready? Let's see this one. Looks like ar. It looks like transit This whole corner it's a signal stack Relay boxes, voltage chambers, smart grid panels, all tucked into one walkable zone Oh, it's like a grid five g. Drying your brain, they make it like a little park Pulsing. All active in te. Not to mention That's a little I wouldt right now So theyre like, look at this fun tech and you're like, really Oh, I just microwave my brint And I'm not super paranoid about that stuff, but I don't want to live right next to like you feel a humming in your body like This can't be good for me. you know that the forty nineers training facility was near all this transmission power plant. then A lot of curious injuries the last two seasons and I think they were they just something about that vulnerability inious don't know. We're bicious Yeah I mean those Okay, let's do five hour energy. youention F hour energy. It's time for buzzing around. Sponsored by five hour Energy' Fireworks freeze Flavor Igignite your taste buds with a red, white and blue freezer pop classic, reimagined as a delicious firework freeze fiveive hour energy shot Fine, firework freeze shots online at fiveive hour ennergy. com or Amazon today. Okay, the setup is Dana is going to do some impressions In a fictitious setting. It's a fictitious setting.. And, uh, re pretty They're not really rehearsed or anything or thought out or thought out in any way. Al Theo had our boy John Kennedy on last week? Are you jealous? Did he? I know. we should have, right Oh, wow Nike Troy He probably saw We make fun so fun. Now you are from Louisiana. Did I get that right? Is that right? Yeah, I feel like it might feel like I. All right, let's see what you got Here's what I got. I got on the Pierce Morgan show this famous Red Nck comedian, Red Red Necky Joining me today is a comedian named Red Red Necky the Redneeck comedian who is making a lot of noise in the show business. He's selling out arenas all over the world and pleaseed Welcome, Welcome to Mr. Red Red Necky Yeah. Hi Pers, I'm good. How are you, sir here. Now, you u You were born in Baton Rouge, I understand Well, I basically was born about forty miles south of Baton Rouge in an alligator swamp. See, my mama She loved alligators. They loved her almost like a tarzan kind of deal with the chimpanzees. She had an understanding so she would bathe her wade into this alligator swamp So she's a hefty woman. She's out there one day and yelled to my daddy I think I'm giving up birth to a baby. So I popped out that first thing I saw was an alligator And not my baby braam thought, Mama So you actually were born in an alligator swamp. Okay. So what is not the usual rhythm of red Rdck? Well I'm kind of ha. Now, could you share some of your famous routines Thereays t shirts all over the world. There we go. Yeah. Yeah, S thing, S thing Mr. Morgan. Yeah. Well I always say my name. I'm reed Rd necky, re re Rd neck comedian. You ever fart so loud dog two statew go what d? So what When you say a dog too stayed away And you're actually saying that they could hear your flatulence from probablyrobably close to one hundred kilometers away Well I was just fun and I mean, you know, funny, but how about this one? I went to the doctor The doctor said, got we gotta amputate your left foot. I said, canan I keep my right foot? They said, sureure thing. I said come and get Wookit the second. So I hope Pirs as he doesn't So even though they is this two story? now just funing But funning. I was just funning, you know, but some people take it serious, but I do my left foot is size fourteen and my right foot is size four and a half Jw wal a little different Oes I guess stumped Well, do you have routines where the audience doesn't quite get it and they get angry Well, you know, one joke that I dropped was I'm reed Red neck, Red neck comedian. I made my sister O because mama turned me down come a get on You married your sister, because your mom turned you down? Yeah. I'm turning the peers now perfect. Mr. Spade agrees with me. So that you got booed off the stage with that Yes, that's true But I like my bits would come again so much more positive. Like here's one I just wrote today, which is true. My daddy smoked a corn calledb ppe but he couldn't afford no tobacco So he lit the pipe on fire and smoked that. He was missing his lower lip coming get on He's so actual corn cop. So he burnt his lips. Yeah What are you gonna do about it? Yeah. Now you're taking Mike Mike Tyson thing. You're dog accused of stealing if you're a comedian Anyway, my guest today is Bed Rren Brednecky, the Redneeck comedian, you know, settling out stadiums all over the world. your h bits, No one funny. Well, thank you kindly, Mr. Pierce Morgan, if that's your real name. I like that he piers Morgan still did the promotion, even though he didn't really think he was that funny. Well that's I thought of it thirty two minutes ago. I like the peers goes, Well, Rad, you still you're a very funny comedian. you're working all over the world. Do you really believe you could people want to hear something? likeike craps so killed Tony? R I'm Redd Redneeck, a Redneck comedian. You ever crap so big, donon't think hed get down that turlet Comea Giz on. Turlet Now, is that the kind of comedy you think people like? You actually So you started doing Pierce Morgan in a being I kind of did because I'm curious about this and I really play along I will say it reminded me of some videos I've seen on Instagram where when they're in England and if they ever mention going to the bathroom, the girls are unabashed just going They go, We have a few words. The girls like, Yeahah, we were just in the toilet. No, we were just the toilet and we just came out of the toilet. I'm like, Yeah, do we say toilet? It's disgusting Yeah, you would be you would call it I'd like to go to the rest room. Right I'm about to You're not bloody rested in there. Alys room boys's room or I'd see women say I'm going to the little girls room Oh yeah, I gott to do this Oh,, do you normally do an outro after Dana doesnt carry I just forgetot. Yeah we need anro need That was buzzing around the