Mosquito Experiments and Disney Facts

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She goes, but he's a lot older than you think. And I go, getet fucked. How about just ring it up? Eough. Google. We're releasing male mosquitoes to reduce the population. hundredundreds of thousands of them. We're Google. You know, make a tired of pregnant mosquitoes Introducing Uh We cut their mosquito nuts off. Yeah. Good luck making a batch of mosquito kids. Those days are over. We got you neutered mesquites You ready one, two, three. Welcome to the show. Dan Blarney. I've got Davids Boodler. Aa here in for Danis, Dana Baden. The questions about my hair I'll take first I just did this thing that Heather said, if your hair's ever super greasy and you haven't washed it in four days Fray dry shampoo, so right I do it But look at it look, it's gray. See that? I kind of like it See that streak in there No Oh I've been watching I've been watching no chance. N me. I just do it I just spray it and I ran down here A A and I spend we only spend no joke, probably an hour and a half getting ready for this show. It's amazing. I guess the Listeners could know that after this particular podcast I'm going to get in the car and drive for six hours on interstates I know. You're a stud for doing this. Well Yeah, but it is sort of an interesting one because You know, I don't know about you. I don't know what your packing situation is, but I'm dysfunctional. I really if I have a car, this's a drive, if's a if it's a You know, luggage flight. And I start putting shit in there that's like one in a million, I'm ever going to need it. Like, well what if I want a second sport coat? amm I going to wear for the gig we're doing? do I want to parachuting What if I need a second long sleep? You know, what should I hike with these shoes and these shoes could be good on stage, but also these because I have a car where I can throw the seat down So I have stuff. I could survive for six months with what I've packed for one gig, basically because is it for our gig? Yeah, but then'm I'm around town. I'm doing seeing a doctor just for a checku. And I'm going to be visiting my mother in law. You know, you just you just go, well, throw it in. I'll just I'll just throw it in What if what if I need my bite socks where the snakes don't bite me when I hike And what if what if I need a up toothbrush. I mean, what if that toothbrush peers. So it's a very crazy thing I have going on, but you're pretty you're pretty together, I think. If I had not over right Pretty streamlined packing now, but you gott to have some backups I will tell I went to the improv last night and we're going to break this down and why this didn't work I love doing this. I'll tell you inside baseball for the audience It is so much fun to work on someone else's bit And it's horrifying to work on your own bed. It's very frustrating. So what was You go to the improv, here's your joke didn't work. Let's hear it So I go to the improvven on the way I hear on the news This And by the way, the first problem touchy subject So we're already at a deficit. Right. deepends on that problem Undercook Right in the crowd sometimes likes this. But you're thinking of it by hearing it on the radio and going right to the So you're just doing it spontaneously. I'm one minute away from the event. you're going to go. Okay got it I say, I should say something about So it's not quite formulated and that is Architecture is so important. It seems like nothing, but how you set it up pay it off? Do they have all the information? The minimum amount all the information Understand what you say next. That's exactly right. 's not really any of that. So I said, hey guys., Hey guys, it's good. Hey guys. already they're your friend It was too up early because I tried to rememberered it. I'm like, I got to say something. So I do one or two settling bits prettyty good crowd. Melissa Villasignor was before me, who you liked. She's very good. Great, great great talent, super nice person. nice. and She has a little bit of this touch streak too U she she gets off and does great job and then I go, o blah, blah. and And then I say, oh, so okay, I just heard that Nick Reiner, Do who Nick Reiner is Do I? Silence? Oh no, you did the audience that goes silence Kind of because then I hear some guy go Yeahah, and I go Rob Reiner's son erble It was terrible already. If you can land this, I'm going to send you a hundred dollars Don't worry, it was a total wpe. Well, first of all, you're in a deficit, but go ahead. I dont do. I don't know. And then I'm realizing This is so morbid already. and I go, well There was a situation I said, anyway, The news was today that Rob Reiner's son, Nick who is in jail, is suing state of Rob Ryiner because he's not getting his millions of dollars from the will. And I'm like What a bummer. the one guy that could give you the money And ye, killem Okay, and what was the response This, nothing Just two together fell asleep. You're thinking of how I could fix it. I don't know if it's fixable Well Yeah, and it's also pretty perfunctory as a turn. You know No What does that mean? Well, it's not exotic. There's not a bunch of surprise to it. He's going after his money and is it ironic? he killed the one guy who could have wrote him the check Yeah. and it could have been in that Eyelinis Morsette song if it was today Hm the guy you kill as the one guy because now he's suing him because he wants that money, his argument is I need that money for the legal team so I can get out of jail for killing you You might maybe the only way to make it lighter is to put it on you. likeike I totally relate You know, once this kid wouldn't give me his lunch money and you know, I've smashed him in the face with a tennis ball Um Some other tricks are, yeah, take it away from that. There's one where my mom Bruising easily my act, but it worked only when I switched it and said I'm worried about her, but she thinks it's funny Now it's lighter. of course. And so she laughs when she bruises and she goes I go, what happened to hip? She goes, Oh, I must have run into a table. I go, Mom, you have a bruise from your ankle to your ribs. She's like, I know, I don't know what happened. I go, I think you got hit by a missile Yeah, all that's fine as long as she's safe and okay. He thinks it's fine because we all get, I got a hematoma just from getting a blood test But it doesn't hurt at all do that. Oh, wh, excuse me. notot only tig get out of cages, but but I'm going to say this because I'll be the coach at the improv. Yeah. That topic is too difficult right now Ges see for LA. They all someome people knew him, some people it's such Well, is there any It's in the Hall of Fame of tragedy, like the darkest what? So I knew him and they're like, why are you he was in your movie? I'm just I know Rob Rinner directed spinal tap And I was in that with him. Well you are that H Here's another one that'll remind you of here's a sports story before we get to the big sports story, but Jacobbe Brette, this is just a local bit for me. Okay that I am Following the Cardinals, Arizona Cardinals, I'm one of the few to follow what's going on So they're having a transition here rebuilding right And they got a new quarterback, but Jacobbe Bcent was the backup for Kyler Every are turned out Kyler Murray, Kyler Murray. He went Minnesota You don't need to know what s I'm mmerized, goo ahead Abitr. Thank you. So He's Heather Heather have a pillow She wants to She does. She's in the cowd So u so Jacobbe Busette is the backup and he's holding out you know, it can't because They're negotiating, but he's supposed to only get four million or something this year. And I'm like, that is low for a starting Qie And, uh And then I'm like What if the negotiators? and he's not getting anywhere. So he's just showing up at camp now finally. He doesn't have a deal and I go I feel like maybe the negotiators are accidentally negotiating with Iran and Trump is calling the cardinals now that's why everything's a mess. That's not for my like, That's just for you We're gonna with Iran. We're talking Iran. We're gonna do a lot of stuff I'll do this in the gig, but I've turned Trump into sort of a character from Lord of the Rings now to amuse myself, you know they call it the precious. They call it the precious It's a great little ring. You gott to get the ring, you know? I mean, I'm not I'm just tired of trying to sound like Trump. So I've made him into like he's almost like Gullum, you know, the precious. She gota get the br. Sh I pull a musle doing Trump. No I'm fine. Gollum was so famous in Lord of the Rings and I haven't seen him in one of other movies Uh He doesn't getting Well, newewsfash. I know you don't read a lot, but Gall him It doesn't look like that. It's a CGI character and the guy who voiced it has worked a lot Oh, Andy, I live in a ciran Circus Andy, I travel with the circus. So all right, now we get your precious nicks. Um Look I had to check myself I had to check myself, which means, you know, cognitive behavioral because you get attached to a team and you just kind of pick a team. My team, the Golden State Warriors were out. So I became a fan of the spurs just because they're they're average. they're right out of high school basically. They shouldn't be doing what they're doing. Total underdogs and they've got the Weembley who's called the alien. So They're up, Wimy. they're this, but Now we're doing this, of course, the Finals are probably over We saw the biggest game of the year last night, which unless the last game beats it That last second tip in I'll go out on a limb and say the spurs in seven And when this airs we may know. and then I'll eat crow. Where did that come from? Why do you have to eat crow? Be I don't even like bird In the old days when he would lose basketball games, they'd have to pick up a crow and eat it Is that it? I mean I'm not I'm not a good chat GPT. Yeah. So I don't like to But I realize for anybody and this is an evergreen take. Greg. You know, It's the fun of getting attached and caring, but we know it's all pretend. they're not you know, solving the Iran war. It's just athletes trying to do something and it's fun to care. But don't be personally wounded or sad. Find a place like, well, that happened, move on. but it's really just something to do. Like when I was at a sports bar last night and it was packed some trashy bar, which I love. And the kitchen was broke, they go, we only got hot dogs and we're like That's fine. So me, Tommy, Bobby are in there. And then it gets so packed And then everyone's going shit house. But I stuff to go to a set at the impbrouse. I'm like I'll watch this until it gets good then I play So then The guy sees me and he coming and goes Nixer spers He wants to kill me. I'm like, I don't know. fucking Prat, Bass. what are you talking about Which one am I four? Is that your question? What did he say it just sounded like a cave manan. what was He just said Nixers first and he wants me to answer wrong so he can beat the shit out of me. I'm like, he just turned to me and I'm standing there and he fucking like almost chest bumped me and And I'm like Why do you wantna beat me? I don't know, whatever you want. don't I w want to live. I don't Why would Rob Schneider do that firstirst of all? R Why would Rob Schneid he's practicing for grownups. Why would the LA team Kicks or sppurs there what happened to their Lakers? I mean, they're such traitors out of Nobody giv it bad fuck anymore about Lakers. They're like we're moving on to whoever's got eat. I want to join the Kicks Bandwagon it might be too late, but I'll do it if they win it all. But I'll tell you Let me tell you this right now. I like that one Yeah Live sports in the digital streaming, not live streaming, streaming age, everything goes into the massive library. See it anyt timee. Live sports. make so much more money and the audience TV, quote, TV streaming out is so huge compared to everything else. We used to have all the families. number one, Jerry Seinfeld at the top Now it's the nineers versus Cleveland, you know. So it's that's the reason we watch it. We don't get any of that totally live. It's not fixed.. No one's seen it. You don't know what's going to happen. So I think u The season's been really good. Ive There's been some amazing games. and if you're a Nicks fan Um, right now, Guess you've won the championship or not. We're recording this Actually, we we were recording this and twenty twenty twenty two. Six weeks out. That's why I want to talk about it in the macro. Do you know what that means? Well the macro, no, it means we're just an overarching look at and finals And it's huge And and this is is this fairly new when you're watching a NBA game or another game that draft Kings Draft Kings, you can bet here, bet there, bet there bet. So that's also the biggest in the world, right? My degenerate buddy gambler said, hey, that have Did you see what the odds were that the Kicks would come back and at the quarter D you see the over under of the point spread I go, dude I'm not a degenerate gambler, sorry. I'm actually just watching it game. Yeah just And I get it. But are you really when you're at the half and you're like playing it live. They want you to bet on everything. notot just the game, win or lose. They need you fucking all the way through all the way through. And then all the predictive markets and all those things. So Uh and know what stars will be there. You can bet on that on those other markets. So Speaking of celebrity Row, they really packed it last night. It was My biggest shocker, did you see that Taylor Swift was with PTA Heather was he think as it was with the Hame girls There was some little club they made up and they said some little p thought They put J Nicks spepelled the Kicks the way the Kicks do with the K and they put Stevie Nicks And then there's two other ones hay girls had Um One was Nicole Kidmen with Nick So there's three of them. The other one' good. I don't know, it's kind of interesting. You know, you see people sitting on the wood and going crazy and then the ten year old boy inside you or girl It's like kind of like, what? They get to be billionaires and now their team wins and when they're just all happy they're everything's going too exuberant like calm down. You got the billion. Okay. Let's just say I did see when they went to a commercial. And they show like, I think it was Rock Chris Rock is the funny's like this slow motion They don't got it tonight But it was all slow motion people being sad like this I know Yeah. And then later on But I will predict and I will eat crow. I predict I predict that Surs and seven Spurs and seven. I just have a feeling about it. Yeah. mark down Uh also Oh yeah, this is a good question. Two questions. First of all, Sandler was there Jack, I off And I can't remember everybody there was there there was a few surprises, but Awards when there's such Beatings out front. If you're on my Instagram My algo. It's literally Take your sppurs jersey off. they rip it off, beat the people up Bloody noses, shit everywhere. every you come out and there's like fifty horses Find up, fifty horses with cops on top justust as an intimidation thing When you first come right like, please don't start shit And There was a guy trying to save them from tearing down a light poole and they beat him up. It's just It's just a free 's hard to say go crazy And so they take them up on it, especially last night because it was such a flip around And then Heather's saying Do you leave out of Mad Square Garden and go right into that riot, a mob of craziness Scret if you're Sadtler secret underneath seecret tunnel I think you' underneath SUV pop out the back. Yeah No one's the wiser and get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. Yeah, they're not going to play T or where they going? You what I mean? She's not walking out going Ex say ail T. Hey guys, good screeting. Tax W an attack se. Did I sound like Taylor Swift at all sort of Oh, no, you don't. No, you don't Give me that That's how he sounded exactly ang it, whereere's mine? fuck ye Is that a premer for the Nicks H's That's when you if you when this is the audience when you did that weird joke. s Worse than that Here's you and you grab your winner How did you know Don't say that's the. How did you know? Here's my act This is this is what it's like for me when I do this podcast with for my brain Is it a ubber scratch? I don't know Here's Dana when I'm allergic to bad jokes. Here's what happens. Here's what I do. That was a bad setup. Here's a head impression to you when a joke doesn't work at the improv. What me when when I see you eating alone Ys are actually good. Why' that one's a good one do when you get out of the shower, you look in the mirror Here's Dana and Gervitz calls about a road gig 's too years's are too logical. I don't even know what these buttons are going to say Here's you taking a left turn on La Sienga G Here's you taking a right turn That's Heather during everything we've talked about Running a business means wearing a lot of hats But I used to find that traditional banking options always seem to slow me down with endless friction like plain phone tag, just to chase down the status of an international wire transfer. 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Merury is a Fin tech company, not an FDIC insured bank Banking services provided through Choice Financial Group and cololumn N A Members FDIC History that That doesnn't suck is a legit, hard hitting American history podcast told through entertaining stories As we approach America's two hundred fiftieth anniversary. Now might be the time to go back and learn how we got here more than two hundred episodes You can binge your way, decade by decade, defining event to definine an event from the founding into the twentieth century. Join me, Professor Greg Jackson for History That Don't Sck, an Odyssey podcast, available on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts All right, you know about power energies Yeah Look, keepeeping your energy up Staying locked in is a must. 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Someone told me came up to me randomly the other day on the street. And just said this, at first I didn't understand. it goes Heather is the microphone What Heather needs a microphone Yeah, I know. that was Heather No, people ask me what Why do we keep her It's sort of, I think it's sort of the fun mystery of the show of like she can always walk over here and get on It's sort of funny to go, whoo's Heather? Where's Heather? And then she questions and She laughs a lot, we can hear that She's the whole audience Yeah. How many feet Is Heather away from you These are good questions. I would say Eleven eleven feet And that laugh travels. We can't have any close. I know. I have to land a banger's a her You get a you get like a metronome Now she laughs at literally everything you say, which is disgusting She's not paid to laugh at me Hey, David, what are you just saying right now It's so loud. If people go in the comments, Is't really that loud? Could it be? It can't be as louder in my voice Agon Okay wait, I have to ask something else Oh, o, here's what this lady said to me at the gift shop in Arizona. Okay. it's a great setup. So I go in there and she goes, Hey She's with another lady she was I went to school with you and I oh, cool, cool. Where did you go to swarow sho? Yeah And she goes, the girl He looks young, he is not young at all. And I go, o didn't know how to react she was. but you do look young. so she sucked me in again She goes, but he's a lot older than you think. And I go Get fucked. How about just ring it up? enough then she goes, I graduated this year. When did you? And I go, Oh before that she goes Oh, you're older than I thought and I already thought you were old. Godddamn She kept bearying herself. And I go, I'll take my things and That's enough. goodood. D, sir. U Yes, that's was a bit I used to do. It was like u What you suggest is nothing sort of m nothing short of madness Gay to you, sir And I said good day. I said good day Oh, dude, go ahead. I had a woman come up to me and go, You don't look like you did forty years ago. I go, You don't either. No shit. No shit surel. Now people what they do is this like we have to be on these screens and stuff. so we're We get scrutiny You know But if people go to their bathroom hereir and put their chin up loaded with light, just a straight forward shot going with a turnillck going Why is everybody getting old? Look at me. Yeah It drives me nuts As as you notice I walk I drive in my car with a ring light, which is hard to drive. In case anyone sees me But I do use that. I did say to her what you suggest is nothing short of madness G you, Madam I just saw a funny clip of loveove. It's. Oh, I should have it. I don't have it. Lovitz was on a flight. and you know how we were a flight and they go, canan you get up into the announcements? Can you say goodbye, everyone So he gets up and does stuff fun tell to us he's slabby Hilarious, Yeah.s so funny because That's That's That's what people want you to do. getet up and say something funny. I've done it, not that often, but I've done it Hello John, L ladies and gentlemen, I am your I am Please brrou an applause for me. I'm the oldest flight attendant in history. This is my one million flight. John could get Gigs just doing that announcement for different airlines, you know. He's on the road sometimes with dice clay. It's pretty funny. they go all together. And then they film themselves in the airports and stuff and they're always arguing it's funny everything I'm hearing. You like what you hear? That's a perfect. about the match? We just got through voting situation. We have a new mayoral runoff into and a new bass and the woman's name is Mithia Ramen Ram Ramadam Lupapa. as they call her in the post N thepop Rama a call in supportort. So she she conceded on election night and I think was very emotional And then they said in third on like. Yeah Wait, there's more Oh, wait. and then seventeen million ballots flooded in. I don't know know I have to say they they they should take this voting a little more seriously here because We are the slowest and most I'm not saying there's any tampering with the voting, but There's every opportunity to to If you were tampering, you'd you'd want this system, you know, where you can go to doors and like what do you wantude. Here's a ballot. I'll come back in a couple days. You know, and then you harvest it, whatever party you're from. So they should fix it so no one has suspicions. Make the b There's no security at the ballot boxes that'sillegal. You can't like have someone there or watch Are they stuffing them as anyone taking it out lighting it on fire? Yeah. My brother went to vote up in Northern California and he showed his ID and they said, get that fucking ID out of my face They were like angry that he wanted to show ID. Well, I don't think you're even supposed to show your ID. They show gym memberships. You can show anything. I don't even think you have to show you to say, Hey, what's up And that's the problem. That's what some people want. so it's more fair in quotes and some people It invited when you're on a flight, you have to show your I did have to show you Re ID in your license or pass every second Every second you turn around, you're driving like Why can't it just be a driver's license, something I real Well whatever you would get to go on an airplane Right. That's all, you know, toy. I don't know this kind of a hot take a lot of people love the current system, but I feel like it invites suspicion and we don't want anyone to think like that You know, when I growrew up, it was like and Richard Nixon defeats Hubert Humphrey. It was like eleven o'clock or midnight and the presidential election was called, not just the state election Another problem is they They used to, if you had it on the day of the election It would still count. later if they needed it, R They don't go by postmark, which was the legal way. Now it's you can write in when you handed it in what day. If you can do that, then you could just It's all it just should be a little more of a tighter ship. That's all I'm saying. I just like to meet the guy. Yeah, I'm Congressman Steve Wilkers and that's the system I put in place in California You know, what what is the I guess the idea More people participate? I don't know Right. Obviously the idea is you just have to realize some people are going to play the system. Some people really need this system The way it is now And some people clown it Same with everything, same with the border. Good people want to come in. alsoso bad people You have to have some system to differentiate the two And that's the hard part. is said Nithia didn't even win in her own district and then after it was over She shot up thousandousands and thousands Is it weird to say right at this moment that if you ran I would vote for you me were pretty articulate. I could run. I wasn't on a reality show, but I could run what is u Should we have a st? I could run, I know nothing. M Mister we should That's a great campaign. I know I know just as much as current politicians, meaning I know nothing I'm like Colonel Schultz. They gave Prd a lot of shit. and you go, well, I don't mind he doesn't know because at least he's saying things that No one says you want to hear And you go You could be a politician for fifty years, but if nothing's going the right way, Who cares about your experience? That means just you're in bed with a lot of people that you owe And there's sameame with bothoth sides of the aisle, they are They've been it so long, it's all kind of sketchy bestest Congress money can buy. And you can get in that Congress and go to those meetings and listen in. Oh really? So NVidia is getting that government deal. place a bit the stock market That's the only reason to be in Yeah you can really get rich if you G me some of your stocks, Rich you Rich. I gott to get back in the game. You know, it's always it's still like nerve wrack. Have you ever heard of the phrase volatility No the word actually, it's not a phrase. N. Not. Stocks go like this these days, you know And it's all are you in Space X or no Well spakes Space X is going to take off like a rocket. no pun intended No, I don't know what it's going to do, but you do know that in banks There's people who bought SpaceX essentially A nigall. Right? per share. And now it's one hundred and thirty five dollars a share. So the amount of millionaires and I guess billionaires that will be Ted unless the stock doesn't perform, but it may go way up and way down. We don't know, 'cause it has never made any money. like a rocket go like this and then go down. And it should have an escape hatch. Excuse me. I have muni bonds and they they m they balance out my portfolio. on my fav I want to be a quillionaire You've got plenty. I mean, I, you know, I just like to Heather wants to be a trillionaire but I want to be a cillionaire Hey, David, everything you own Oed you back. Have you ever thought of that E day. If you've ever thought of this, you occupy your house, but you live here, Y spirit, soul, and physicality. tal about right here. N never thought of that D didn't cross a me. You're just going to chase shiny things until you go Yeah I go like this. This is a Camaro. If that's cool, that means I'm cool. Yeah cool things around me W this, that means me. If I have a new shirt, that means I'm new Yeah, I see. I get it Look I bought a guitar recently, a little cool Cool guitar I got a guitar you might like. The only things I like is what I can interact with Yeah, a pool, a basketball hoop It's, you know, great television interact golfing All right let's go to the hot sties. Let's go the sties we gota hit the. I have a seventeen hour drive. Im like that we act like we're so busy for the podcast. We're, we just gott a buzz. if people you'ret even trying to Oh buzz buzz Okay. I'll just say it. I haven't given this a thought at all all because I wasn't sure, but that's what I love about buzzing around And you've got a whole Okaykay, I have to have Pers Morgan Pierce Morgan, okay. we have here. Maybe we're gonna to do all these people at the N game. Is that helpy? Is that something you can handle? Sure It's time for buzzing around Fan favorite spponsored by Five Hour Energies Firework freee labor Ignite your taste buds with red, white and blue. Freezer pop classic reimagined as a delicious firework freeze five hour energy shot F by work freeze shots online it Viveo ennergy. com or Amazon today And today's seg, by the way Fourth of July iss coming up, which is really kind of turning into a Joe Dirt holiday to be honest with all the. Joe Dirt is what you know what your movies do? They just travel You know, like Joe Dirt was not like a hundred million dollar movie But it's bigger But this is the good thing. It's bigger now than it was even then. I have to say that's true. Tommy Boy Joe Durk So I think that's a good thing rather than we're on doing a Jodor cartoon and we will have more on that story later Okay, so buzzing around, you're going to have Piers Morgan, who else? Well You can pick anybody you'll find J to survive this. Montami. Oh, he was there. He jinks the other game. I mean, yeah, I usually do too many, but here There's that guy. Okay, I got six puppets Here we go And they're at the N game, right So I hold the puppets up or I just do the voice Now you just do one it o do it. All right, here you. takeake your time. Yeah. So it's overwhelming. So u Tucker Carlson was at the Kicks game and he was rooting for the Kicks. and he just the entire time he was just in a state of hysterics. He was like You know, it helps that he's laughing in the picture Well That's why I do it. Do I hold up the puppets or just do the voices? Okay, whatever's easier So David, do you watch sporting events And I think that it does help that I can see That's funny here. Okay. I actually do. I watch a lot of the game last. and that's what you do. you just watch men running around, throwing a basketball round and that satisfies you. You don't need anything else in life, just watching men play sports. Is that what you're saying I mean, it sounds sexual the way you're saying, but it it's not just for fun. You don't have much of a life, do you? Is that the way you like to live your life very quiet? Out of the spotlight? Well, not on purpose, but yeah Hers you're being kind of mean. That is kind of sending on mean. Don't get me started, Dana Fluffy. was What was your movie? Wayneeswld from nineteen eighty three. like God,'s He's mean. Mam Danny was there. mean Senator John Kenny was toally accurate. Okay. now As far as I understood it, the idea is to win the game Your words, not mine. But I saw people missing shots and throwing the ball out of bounds, getting paid millions of dollars David's words, not mine All right now, what is traveling? Can you walk nine steps these days, I guess When they call it a slam dunk Is it really a slam dunk Year words N man You think that's where they got the term Shing's a slam dunk talalking, I'll have a move with you. It's hard Because it feels like that was the origin story. People slamming the ball in a hoop Y words, not, your You put on Twitter Here's the most non secular one of the day Dean Martin from Heaven went to the next show. Oh, honey. Oh I'm telling you it was a basketball game. Oh, and they had a little bit of wine. Oh, I don't even know who won. Everybody loves somebody sometimes I was thinking pretty good. You know, what this, you know what, the spurse said L last night was a chicken in the head hate that hate that. Yeah. I didn' win every time and this this pres the basketball plays they throw the ball around you get a foul. you jgeing. You can judge him when you put the elbow in the face and you break the clavicle different bs and that's how you win the basketball game, right David Spith. Did you ever make a basket in your life? You is foulat Wimbinan Wimponana. You can' defeat Wimponana. He's eight He's eight and a half feet tall. He's wimponana. You know what they call him David Spade Call him alen He's like a pr. I fought him in prayer at time. I saw him in the locker room and I said, What are you Itor he. And finally will Many people are upset by our system. We need Reagan at the end. Many people are seeing things they don't like. sccores and things and politics as usual. People fight and argue, but we have to always remember We're the United States of America Excuse me excuse me We the United States of a I beg your pardon Where the United States is foreign? I think so on. this has been buzzing around This has been buzzing around and here it is. If you want to pick me up, trust me It helped me many times before. Now you can see my mouth move and the illusion is ruined Goodbye. That was buzzing around, sponsored by Pi Energy Ct anything else. The iconic red, white and blue freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar.. Spark a tasty flavor sensation with firework freeze, Fib Energy shots available online Fivear Energy. com and Amazon today This summer, Fan dool is the best place to bet on goals, with new ways to score alternative laws. What kind of goals? All of them? Including equalizers? Yeah, Vllies? Y. Daint chips over the keeper. Pretty much any goal you can think of goes further on Fan douool So let there be goals All customers can win up to twenty five dollars if USA has one shot versus P one twenty one plus in present select states Opt required, must wage in designated offer market, Max wage of twenty five dollars, restrictions of applies, see full terms at endrle. com slash sport book. Gambling problem call one eight hundred gambler or one eight hundred My reseset Study and play Come together on a Windows eleven PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal, everything you need to study and play with select Windows eleven PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft three hundred sixty five premium and a year of Xbox Gamepass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller Lear more at windows d. com slash student offer. Law Supplies last ends june thirtieth turns at aka. ms slash college PC We gather here tonight to bring women back to their rightful place. The Testament', a newew Hulu original series from the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than believe that the people around you are monsters. The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have to take action when you have to choose your own destiny it say. Watch the new Hulu original series The Testaments, Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney pllus for Ble subscribers, Terms apply. we still get some stories in Everyone's clamoring for our store.ot takes. We have Hot takes five minutes five minutes we can do stories. we'll go down and get in the car Oh this is the nextck. I think guy's bloody, they make him take his fur. be' it There's a million of these. Oh God Unreal. That's a calm one. There's so many crazy. It used to be like Hooray, Remember, start our celebration Yeah, you sh five. You shake hands with the people. Hey good game everybody. good game. Let's huddle up Um, I cannot relate. You not like me, team. me beat you up If you like my team, me not beat you up. I mean, what is? Steinfeld used to be like, you're an adult cheering for laundry You have a jersey on. I'd like. Yeah I was watching a game once and Leno came in and. who' who's ahead? The Rds and the yellows Yeah. I mean, it is kind of fascinating how much you invested in, you know. nextor thousand rapid tires Hm, Miles Garrett. LA takes the next five years. No, LA taxes. Oh, Miles Garret cameame from the brownsorry. They break down what he pays. Now no one's feeling sorry for this guy, but it is a bit of a fucking It's a bit of a nibble at his check. sixixty eight million in federal tax right away F out of one hundred seventy seven million. sixty seven million. Okay. That seems. That's national then four point two million of FIica twenty three million to California state. They have a really rough state. thirteen nine. F fiveive million to the agent. That's it. I don't get the five million. That's like a ten We made ten would be seventeen million. By the way, if you get drafted and you're playing for now the Las Vegas Raiders, you you don't pay that twenty three five. No s tax. That's a big reason people go Raiders and not here year after year Hopefully the rams are great, His net income is seventy eight million out of one hundred and seventy seven. so he lost ninety nine million The rich don't pay the fair share He should not be allowed to keep seventy eight million dollars. That's too much money for one human being He should he should get two million dollars Max and the rest goes to the people who need the money. I'm Bunny Sanders and you can go fuck yourself That was a good Bernie and I think is I know I like Bernie because Bernie's been consistently a socialist the whole time. So he's consistently not He's not joining the party because it's hip. The only Wh whyy is he possibly a millionaire? He has to give it back Well, like you said last week, what's his name? Tom Steyer went to a trillionaire thing as' part of his f Soon we will have trillionaires, but you're a billionaire. Oh I get your point. Yeah. Dennis Miller would say Tom Styer, the guy spent one hundred fifty million got lost to got third I spent zero, I got fourth Yeah, we would have both had the same outcome. I would have put down a singular rectangular green back one dollar bill. He puts in He puts in two hundred billion and we're both in third place. Okay, none of us are going to the governor's house. all right. He said he go Reagan went against Mondel When I went to bed Reagan had two hundred and eighty electoral votes. Mondill had three Okay. That's only three more than I had. I didn't run This guy spent two hundred million bucks almost titem. It's a way to observe things feel so good about yourself. You know didn that guy kid in the game. they lost and I didn't wasn't in the game and I didn't lose. We're about the same kind of thing, I think. It's kind of some kind of weird sort of u flying too close to the sun M Chief. All right. Londale's gonna show up in American Express ads. Hey, remember me, a couple of years ago I ran for governor. I got stomped like a nark at a biker rout With a name like that, you should start a shoeeline. You should say hello to my brand new Mndales, you know, They got side walls on them. size ten and a half, I'm assuming, not I'm assuming. Briing brand new Mondales is kind of funny. We gotta get Danis back in 'cause it's been too long. Yeah. Okay, next one, then we'll wra up Danny's ticking clock He's got to round That's this stuid one Okay Oh, o Google. why are all these places that aren't sci This is what drives me crazy. I don't even want a scientist to do this. Google's conducting one of the largest open air biological experiments in history. Is this mosquitoes or what is it should not be partaking and conducting one of the largest open air biological experiments in U. S. history. because that's what this is. They do plan to release sixty four million actually. It's not thirty two million like many outlets are cling counted up the numbers. Mosquitoes would like that have been casterated. Mosquitoes California California has get out of here And yeah, these male mosquitoes These male mosquitoes are They made a m machia bacteria. So that so they'll release them into the wild and what are they learning mosquito populations because they're babies they won't be Oh it' they're trying to suppress here some Solve something. tryry to get them to blow blanks. Right. Well we have a thing up here where Our horses have to wear these kind of like masks and one of the horse doesn't like the mask, but Flies are attracted to like their eyes because it's sort of watery. so gross.. I think there's a thing where you can get wasps that don't st ing humans or animals, but they'll just eradicate all the mosquito population. We'll go elsewhere. Sure. I'll do that, but don't add mosquitoes to the equation, especially if they're some experimental biological If if you're gonna do that, I want to see online or on regular television Google. We're releasing male mosquitoes to reduce the population. hundredundreds of thousands of them. We're Google. You know, make a make tired of pregnant mosquitoes Introducing Oh their mosquito nuts off. Yeah