Reflecting on Comedy and Modern Censorship

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Everybody loves him. He's a funniest. Everybody says he's a funniest So how does that when you hear that Dana, how does that make you feel? It's hard to spin this back back Holy shit. What's up guys? I like your shot. seeee, whyy are we all tight up? I knew we dog shit. I don't know. I'm on the bad side of fifty. I thought y'all looked better. I thought y'all were gonna look worse, honestly. Yeah. Oh, we got tools. We have tools. I knew you'd wear a baseball cap. That's why I did this. Oh, thanks, man Y hair is so crazy in this movie. Your hair is wildly. Awesome in bus boys Yeah, I mean, it's pretty l. I mean, it's definitely's cut crazy id't they put a lot of product in? I mean, it looks like extra extra. I mean, nothing like urban, nothing that would get me accepted in like the, you know, in the urban community CU. Yeah herb that would get me into. Oh I thought he said herb like in peppers or something, you know P. nothing like a funnier way Do has Do has the hair for about six people. It's like There's a sprout over here and there's crops over here. It's just there's so much going. But in the movie, I remember he came out with One day with like a little stash, she's like, maybe What if I don' stash and I go Yeah, that wouldn't bead because it still looks like you we don't want to shock people with a total D Niro transformation. But then he came out a minute later goes, Yeahah, I took it off This would have been good for Theo. I wrote a character once in a movie that shaved his or took his eyebrow off and then put it down and pretended and glued and pretended it was mustache Oh yeah. well, we've all I think that's a common prison experience is people you know, transferring hair amongst each other for you for different uses. but I was on a cruise one time and they had like a costume party and we didn't have any u We needed a mustache and we didn't have any So this Brazilian guy had a bunch of good hair and so he cut us off probably a couple grams of hair. And we had baggy. Yeah, yeah, just something to get us through the evening, you know. Just under the legal amount I thought that would be a conversation stopper that was com No way Stal comes up. Well, of course we had mustaches glued to us on a boat. What are you talking? Yeah There's a guy had a mustache in the movie and when we walk out of frame Theoes, I like he's got those prison curtains or something. And I was like, Theo always comes up with something to say Pison. and Dana was saying one of the big laughs because you know when Nate Diaz beats up the car, we're not going to talk about the movie the whole time, When Nate Dz beats up the car Nate and Chris And we're just standing there. We have nothing to say other than just watch that action. then Theo goes Hey Fz, we're going to get some Pizzas, medium pizzas Yeah, that made me laugh loud whole thing because it's so I knowt something about it It's so specific and gentle versus all their weird violence. And just why would they need that information? That's Theo's whole thing. why When there's years Qestions, it gets funnier. like those guys were those guys were alarming, I think, and theyarming is a good sive word for what they were on the W they scare you for realels a little bit? because don't me just punch people. I think they grew up in an asbestos home, maybe even l. Yeah, heavy lead probably. Pencils everywhere. unlim' probably boxes of pencils in the walls. Different kinds of fungus in the freezer. fungi Wevils molt. who knows what's what they've been through? Yeah, they've been through a lot. but when they came in set Theo did get a little giddy. It was like they're here. So we went over there to make them feel at home like we do with everybody We come say hi And then that was a day they beat up someone and threw them in the trunk I don't know if they know They're not supposed to actually beat someone up So we have to say pretend beat up, which is not really what they do and Wherere they from Stockton? Is Yeah, they're from Stockton and it is a Fist first community up there. That's just a license place Fist first in this town No in San Francisco is shocking So I was in Hate Ashbury. We were flowers first, sorry. Yeah. You're on Polk Street No Yeah Where you down there? Were you down there? What were you doing down there? Coodling down there under the bridge? C a laundry mat turned into a comedy club called the Other Cafe, corner of Carl and Cole right in the Hate Ashbury M That Okay I'm going to tell you a story, Dana, and Theo, you can listen. Okay. have twenty seconds When I was just a tike And I came out from Arizona to stay at my mom's house and try to do standup I I had seen a comic in Arizona, the first one I saw to an hour, donon't guess And he was great. And I was like, is he making this shit up? It's like comedy is so I was only doing amateur nights but I'm like, this is so crazy to see a guy do whole hour. I'd only seen Gu on late night talk shows do five So anyway, he talks to me, my friend knows him. He says, if you' ever in L I say hi, of course, I thirstily hit them up which is like the worst thing you can do because they don't really mean it But he's like, hey, let's go walk on Westwood I drove my mom's rabbit, you know, we had a And so anyway, we're there and he goes, we should go see the wrrath of Khan. This is such a specific story that I remember because it was traumatizing. Should we guess who the comedian is? No, no, no doubt. I want both know. you both know. Okay, you'll figure it out. So then I go Oh, we're we're in Westwood. I got to run home it's about. I think I can make the movie I got to take a shower. He goes here Now. What gentleman says to a new friend? You can take one here, but of course, me probably Kevin Spacey, I'm gonna to guess. How al to putting a guess early. Don't jump ahead. Sorry. Innocent, sweet, adorable me. H It's like Tim Dylan in the movie because we don't understand what's going on. So anyway, here I am. He goes, takeake a shower of my house. I go, Oh No alarms went off, no red lights. Okay So I go in the shower I hear H door open, I'm like this G Did you get the per plus that you finding everything? Am I finding everything? I found the water coming down I found the soap He goes, need need help? I go, help Sir. I've taken so many showers at this point I've almost got it down pat And he just stays in the bathroom. The bathroom's this big and the curtain is here. he's in the other side going So all systems go, we're doing great. We're going to make the movie. I'm like I can hear you from outside the door And then, but of course, no alarms, looking back traumatized because then I finished and he lost interest in the moviess like we can still go if you want him like That was a whole point, right? He has know this shower So so he was Native American. I don't know. I'm going slow motion like they do on Instagram. It's funny So we go to the Rath of Kon, which is fucking I' I don't want to give it all. Oh, I like that. Ricardo Malibon. Are you going tal the closet at the end of this the story? What is this? What I'm here what I'm thinking is Ladies and gentlemen, the molestable David Spain. We did a movie drp called The Molestibles. I had two situations like that. So I we go This is how it happened. This is how No it just kind of shocked me. It was just a comedian friend at my apartment, whatever. Yeah, see you later. just Yeah. And then I've taken a shower. He's gone You know, and then suddenly he's in the bathroom. Hey, what's up? I mean, same kind of story. I'm like, what And then another one, I was in an apartment and this guy the wrong idea. He was a script supervisor on the show I was doing. He knocked on the door He walks, he's supposed to deliver a script. He walks right past me There's a loft. He sits down on the bed, stops starts taking his shoes off. justust like that And I had to kind of go, I think you got the wrong idea. I mean, what would you have said in that situation? theo, I was tongue tied. Well, he's taking his shoes off. and what are you doing? you're just kind of standing there and what's your And what's your motivation in the scene not get laid Gently explained to him, feeling mostly empathetic of like, you got this all wrong. I mean he turned right red. He was humated. You' still at the door. you're still like No, I mean, I did my shoes off too. We sat Wait a second. Wt. No, but it was I felt bad for him instantly. It was I wasn't leadading the guy on a little. It's hard to getone out of a beanbag chair to be honest Yeah, ye. You gott to pull ' them, they gott to roll off. I was clickbait then. I had blonde bangs. I looked like a child. Click bait It was so hot. I got kidnapped almost When I was in a mall when I was a kid because I had no way. I had blonde long hair. I was about ten. honestly, it was almost entrapment. I was so fucking cute. I look like Early home alone MacCauly Caukgan, like the last one And I was just like Tro aa in this guy. I'll tell you later to you, but just ye. let's stay with this theme. No we're doing good here, but imagine. we're doing good here. Iagine. Let's stay with this theme Go ahe Imagine some pedophile picking up one of you chatty Cathies, dude They' have been like, I got to get They had dropped you back at the mall Yeah We're in the van and he's like, Is this story almost over? We gott to stop. I'm like keepeep going around the mall dude. I got more to say. He's like, boy This is one long run on sentence there's just no, there's no perfect way to get sexually assaulted, I guess is something to say, you know, and that I think we can all agree. Let's look at a clip. All right. No To. you think you guys would have made it in the Epstein files or not? Let's get real about it. Let's get political. Let's get political. To's whole thing is let's tiptoe into politics and then run away and go what What? It's like the water touched me because Oh finding everything in there. God, you're walking them. You're walking the crowd D to come back I would just move to the b.. byy the way When I first saw Theodana There's Ebs, he's got a little puppet Witness protection. That's not Epstein. That's' Jeffrey Epstein. this is crazy Yeah so that's it. So I wanted to use the puppets see what's going on. hisis show has no fucking puppets. It's flatlining. I love that. I love the puppet idea. you know what? you know what willll say this when I first started doing comedy, you'd find more men with puppets and with u you know, on stage and amalia with the you'd find more men doing a guitar act. A lot of that has disappeared That's true. A lot of song parodies I used to love I had it I had a trunk because Robin Wims had a trunk. I had a trunk. I'd go to a toy store and get things. I had a gumbie doll And I would just hold it up and say, ladies and gentlemen, gumby, and then I would just stretch it and go Huge laugh. I see it. That's like a stretch armstrong gum bef. So you never worked with props. Did you go through any incarnation where you dressed in something different or You are always Theo right up like mean, I've been a recovering drug addict most of my life. so that is the prop that never leaves you. It's always go toable. That's that monkey on your back if that's not a prop. You This is like pro. H's Theo's first St upet high. When I was in third grade, my teacher was an awcelot Thatone's like, how many people are at this Tiny town, Covington Well, here's I will say this crazy story is that um David shot Joe Dirt two in the town that I grew up in. And I would you go watch the movie getting made whereere you ust a little kid then or something. Yeah. Well I saw the first the first one I remember seeing the first one. And I didn't know that whatever I'd washed it on, we watchhed it on an intercom. we didn't have regular audio at the house. S. And so we had to we washed we had listen to an intercom Well wait a minute The sound for the TV came over an intercom ' we lived in part of an old school Yeah right offo go ahe. Well, it was just the way it was set up. got a there. Yeah. All right. You guys want to a child. You guys want to judge a child But it sounds like heaven compared to my childhood, but it's not a competition.. But anyway it's not a competition. But anyway, so it was hard to tell And everything kind of sound like a documenties. So remember the first time I saw U Jord, I thought it was a documentary. I thought this young man had been left at the It was like a almost like a dateline episode or something that was really long And it was like this young man had been left at the Grand Canyon by his family Yeah And so we were always looking for David when I was a kid. likeike we were like nice. trying to help out. Yeah. likeike have s anybody' seen him or whatever? We draw pictures of around town, likeike look for him or whatever Anna But anyway, yeah, when I so years later I learned it was an actual film And that David was an actor. He let me down before I even met him Um, because yeah, I was always one in the missing child spade, you know, the one that was just The chatty cats deffinitely more interesting Chat Cat Chaty Cat M cat a funny phrase. But anyway So but anyway, it was just ironic that years later he shot that in the town that I'm from and then Years later that we that we became friends and that we wrote busboys together Heat up your fourourth of July at the Home Depot with our wide variety of grills under three hundred dollars and make every gathering one to remember. Give your outdoor space a glow up. Whatever your budget is, with savings on seasonal plants starting at five dollars. 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And I think I talk to Theo withithout Aig get and some other people in the hallway at the comedy store Definitely a long time before I saw hisZack. I already was in on his sort of unique unicorn type of humor, which you don't see a lot. You know, you see a lot of funny people, but You don't see like an interestnting, more one of a kind thing and then I was laughing anyway and then when by the time I saw his act, I saw you one time at that COVID in the round Sarateella show. What is that called? Oh yeah, suuper Nova That place is crazy and they're like, we're going pay you like two thousand dollars. We'll have to pay you at midnight. We're going to pay you It would't be money Yeah, it was a like a Nigerian guy will email you, you're like this is Yeah, we're going to pay you in pecons, which are going up during COVID And then he Yeah, wait, let me tell you one of his st. good day. Dana let him do his story. I know I like to interrupt doing st. Yeah, never mind, they do it. No these I get to five, I win something. It's it's a polymarket thing. Go ahead. I think Dana, I was just saying like early on one of the I think he's Nicaraguan. so he says Where my knickers at. That was funny. And then I think you said something about if you were ever reincarn you go, I heard about I was talking to someone about reincarnation the other day and You know what? I think I'm going to do it That was like Funny that it was going be your decision And then things you would come back as what race? Yeah somebody race Yeah wouldould you come back? And Mexican is what I landed on after much landed on After much debate and discussion with my Lord and Savior I have if Mexicans will have me, that's what I'm going to be next time. Yeah. I think it's a good move that five two nation Yeah, dude, that's it they are, bro. five two nation, dude. You get to be the same height as your girlfriend. That's the beautiful thing about being in Mexico. Oh, it's a big advantage. Dude, Heather is laughing at every single one of your jokes I know. it's great. This is this is killing This is the hardest Heather Usually twenty minutes go by before we hear a giggle, but this I look at Heather and she's like this. She's used to all of our stuff Yeah. she's like this. Cin No, he did that and then even in B Boys were're writing and putting together the stupid movie, but That's number four on Amazon I in um Also when there's some jokes in there peopleeople were like, did theo just make that up? I'm like some he did, but some He makes up while we're writing it and they sound like they're just made up when Leah Mckeendrick who plays Romina. who actually I don't know if you know this st. she just wrote and directed it. C on Netflix Did you really? Yeah, voicemails for Isabels. It's number one right now in Did you know that? I don't know, she was great in the movie, but she We're introducing ourselves and she says, I'm a sagitarist, blah blah blah, then Theogoses two adult males and I see so anytime it's like that, you know, it's a theo joke because I wouldn't have written that joke for him. I would He just says something different on almost every take And then you have to say, which one should we use? Yeah David has David has all the jokes in him, right? So you have to trick him. You have to do something things like, oh, I couldn't I wouldn't have done that, right? I think that's like a lot of ways of most comics. you have to find something that they like I don't know. That's how comics get impressed. likeike, o, I That wouldn't have like Oh he trick me. Yes, because I would have written something mayaybe more normal, but That's the beauty of like, there's some stuff that's more my humor And the combo is more fun because theio is one of the funniest guys I know. So so funny. And so when he puts those things in there We just all laugh. when we cut because you don't know coming out. And that's what people, I think wanted to see from him And that's the hard that's hard, but he does a great job with that Well, that's nice to you. Yeah. I don't believe I believe you believe what you're saying. Yeah. I don't believe the nice. No it's a lie, but I do sort of believe it Look, kid, we gott to get you back to the mall, man. This is getting. There I am in the mall. and that's that's your place. Yeah, my mom would drop us off You know, in those days, she drop us off it ten AM pick us up at six. I mean, a good eight hour chunk. should give me a quarter in case everything went sideways, but No one blink. There was no moms on Facebook going by I saw Judy Spade dropping. No, no one gave a fat fuck. and they were like, what a great idea. get rid of these fucking kids The mall was so fun I want them in the card store And for some then my mom came in a few hours later. I don't know if she's in there guy who's like which is not old now, it's not old to that to when I'm ten it's old And not my type at all. He comes up and he goes, Hey A Hey, do you want to go You want an ice Ice cream cone. And I go And I go, could it be a snow conb? First all, I'm like, no, ice cream. like, why am I bartering? It' it's like winning the lottery? Of course I won it. There's no red flags, there's no tingling. So I go, of course And I go, could it be a snow cone? And he goes, Okay, what are you waiting for, sir? I'm going to be chained to a radiator in five minutes. There's no ice cream or snow cone. What do you care? And it's secondat It's hard to eat ice cream by a radiator it's all hot. It's melting fast. I'm like, dude, You waited a hair too long because then my mom says, Hey, and I go, Oh there's my mom. real quick, I should get my windbreaker. And he goes, no, no, no. And I go, Hey, mom I'm gonna buzz byy this guy with his band. We're gonna to grab. And she's like, No, you're not And I like, hey, dude, momom says no going. he's like Like we had a deal I didn't know how traumatizing it was for him because he had me on the hook And then I was like, oh, and I'm just bummed. I didn' get a snow cone out of the whole Well, you hate to lose a good kid that you don't know that well. That's got to be tough for that guy. Yeah when you're just he could have been innocent. But it's got to be a lot for these guys to drive all the way over to the mall. you know I'm saying? Clean out their van first, probably some of them, may the decent ones. Just the gas Yeah, the gas alone of being g As then they got they' going to drive you like a hundred miles at least after Oh yeah, we got to drive in circles while I yeap fucking balanche So what happened like the next weekend at the mall with you? I mean was there I don't know. either. I wasn't as hot. I don't know. I wasn't getting the attention I deserved Yeah., I got a funny story about theo So we're at this Netflix brunch weeks ago Ted's house. Oh yeah, dude, it was crazy. All of like the people you ever have seen that made you laugh or there Everybody from Comedy music. It was you know ging around And Dana was invited just so the record knows headad even hit me up twice and Bring day and bring day in and I said You were actually maybe going to be in town, Dan, then know, I've weirdly injured my back because I was traveling That's right. That's right. And all the suitcase stuff, a rolling suitcase on carpet for a half mile. carpet then I found out about this guy who could just do all that in Malibu. So that's why I wasn't there. I would have been there would have dominated Oh yeah you would So here's me and Theodore and then And Bobby Lee and then we see Kate Hudson And so yeah she says, I've seen that guy on something. And I said, yeah, I go I go, you should meet him. He's really nice. So I say, Theo You want to say hi. And here's where Theo cracks me up again He comes over. he's kind of got hiss arm straight and stiffs total weird And then she goes, Ohh hi, blah, blah. And then he's like whereere are you from? Comington, blah, blah. And then we're under this tent where it's only like seventy side of the tent. he's standing in the sun and it's about ninety, right And she goes, you look h, You have long sleeve black shirt on. He goes, Yeahah And she goes, it's colder under the tent. He goes, Yeah, I know but there's no signs There's no signs to tell you it's colder under the t. Oh yeah. Well, that's a problem That's why I prefer graffiti. I prefer areas with graffiti because you get more information. That's why I like living in those neighborhoods But that was cool B meeting Kate Hudson, dude. Yeah Oh my go Yeah you is the bell of the ball. We go around and All these cute girls like, Is Theo coming? I'm like, whoo cares about Theo? Yeah, he's in the bathroom right now. touching himself. Give him a couple minutes. give him a second. By the way before he gets three, like dude I don't like dudes. but I saw you singing with Ella Langley, who's this really pretty country star Dan and he was like stage coach And yeah And she invited him up and he jumped around, little fruitity at parts, but overall, He was with a girl, so it was sort of cloaked a bit And that was good and it was Biral Be because everyone's like, where's theies? age coach I heard I go. lookook at this guy. the boy can get around. So what happened there? How did that happen They she just saw Well, she and not are friends and so then well, she'd invited me to do her like Part in the song is a man's part Okay. So you' got to get a man and then They she'd offered it to me a couple weeks earlier at some other place at on the Ryman here in Nashville. Yeah. And I wasn't ready. I didn't I didn't hadn't practiced my lines So then u Anyway, the story is bad. I saw u Wh' do we're in a commercial right now I saw her not long after that And she goes, well if you' I w you're going to be a stage cooach next weekend because I'd have you read the lines over there and I said, I'm gonna be over there And so that was it And so then, yeah, They just Yeah, it was it was it was cool out there, dude. I've never been a singer. 'cause I'm not a singer C I don't because I'm in other age group, but could you give us a sample of the song? Could you give us just about three or four minutes Three or four just like one line? L what was it like I love you baby or what? No, it's u let me think. Oh, it's like Well, I walked into a bar across the across the tracks Um or it wass like I walked into a methadone clinic and Right across the tracks, so it was No, hold on, let me think I just turn my chair around. Okay No that means I like you. No, I'm liking this. Yeah. I like This is I've never heard Sto sing. That's and that's what we don't want to get to here. That's what I'm avoiding. Okay. Well, Steo, didn't you talk a little and then you sing? Is that how it is? Yes, you have to talk. It's like I'm, you know, I walked into a bar and the prettiest little thing I'd ever even seen in a pair of boots And she and she looked at me And I looked at her. Yeah, something like that. I can't remember exain the line. Yeshead. I don't know the les right. It's like Johny Cash. It's basically Johny Cash Very much. It's John. Yeah, Johnnys some currency Um I don't know if it's a US dollar. D C Pesos. It was a guy from Latin America. He did a good job. People loved it. and I went viral Yeah, I will tell you a funny story about it though My friend wrote the cards, he wrote all the words down on the cards, right? So he's standing right off stage with the words because we've been we've been practicing You know, because you up there with Ella Lyangley, man, and she knows what she's doing. She's professional. You know, and I'm amateur And so my buddy, we had him write all the work we wrote all the lyrics on the cards. So he's standing off stage with all the lyrics Well, he starts getting mad, but when I got up there, I felt good and I felt some confidence So he's standing on off stage and he starts shaking the cards. like,, look at the cards And I'm like trying to give him like, I don't need the cards, you know, But he got upset that I didn't like wasn't he kept like like shhaking it up. Yeah It's like, dude, I'm not looking at the cards because I don't need the cards. Yeah I got. Yeah, your're second it's your you your back upp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're there in case of emergency Yeah, in case of emergency But it is scary. It's better. It's like SNL, you know you have cards if you need them You don't want have to go to him. Did you guys ever get stuck in a spot where you had to go to the cards or was that pretty common? I think we're always on cards to be honest Well, you go to the cards a lot. I once once time I was playing Keith Richards took such a long pause, but I did it for comedic effect But the card guy was doing what your guy did. He's shaking it like and point at it. C on He thought I spaced out, you know? Yeah Yeah, we gott to get you hosting S and now. I can't wait. I bet they've asked you, what'd you say no remember Yes, Theo I guess it was No who didn't do it I don't remember what happened exactly. Yeah. It's I did get to go over there one night. I got to go to the E fiftieth anniversary of the That's right of the show And David was there And Um Who else was there? Bill Murray was there? wereere you there, Dana No, I kind of felt like you were my surrogate When I heard you were going. I figured Thee's my guy. He represents me that night. You took your spot. No, I wasn't there. Dan Ackroy, Bill Hadater and I watched it together That's weird. Why would't not just go there instead? No I was don't dig too deep. Okay sorry I was getting over sorry. I was still not feeling one hundred percent I had the flu, wicked flu That's the real story. Not very exciting, but how Where you? in your fame ladder right now, like Seems like when I first you were on David's show, like how big were you when you first went on lights out? L where were you Like, was that a big deal to go on David's little show? I mean. Did anyone ever see it It was fun. I don't know if anybody saw that show. I think some people did No, I'm kidding. I love the show by the way. Yeah, I thought the show was good for sure. I mean, David' the best to be around. E everybody loves him. He's a funniest. Everybody says he's a funniest Mhm So how does that when you hear that Dana, how does that make you feel? It's hard to spin this back with you Beuse you so really be so close to being in that fun. Really angry and then sad. And then I just practice gratitude. I take deep bh. gratitude No you have your own lane. No one does what you do, Theo. So you're the funniest guy who does what you do. Does anyone do what you do? David has his own soft very verbal patteratter that's really low five, but very funny all the time Yeah, you never expect what he's going to say kind of any and he just knows so much and you're shocked by how verbose his awareness of things is Oh, He's probably one of the most aware gosts. You mean about darkness and stuff Well, oh yeah, I'm not even sure what verbost means. I think it's kind of That was a good one though. I think it's some it's speakers. We're selling speakers. But No, just his awareness like he just like he's so like up on like just whatever the current events are. He just has all the Pder I's got patterder Yes, he's very Dexter. He doesn't just bring one weapon to the thing like Dexter always had like a ton of weapons and like you know, he'd be a the he'd be the most he'd be the Michelangelo of killers, you know Right. if we got to hang out with Dennis Miller, you would like that too. Dude I we did a fightight Oh you did. Okaykay. It was was the best I got to sit right in between them, dude.. Oh yeah. so they would go like that, right? Yeah Y. best threesome I've ever been in, honestly Yeah, it was Dennis mumbling jokes on one side and me on the other And we were all hilarious and I mean, we were all laughing the whole time because Theo saidays stuff. And Theo' like new to the whole thing and just everything is fun and exciting. Theo, I went to the Rona Rousy fight I don't think, I don't think you were there, but I was in the second row Dana White always puts in the front row suchuch a world of difference because the second row I told Dane and I had Michael Irvin in front of me. all takes one person it's over. L He stands up like Full eclipse I Is the fight still going on because he stood up for anything Tie the gloves up Lets end of round up. beginning brought up I'm an athlete. Yeah. So And when Johns Bones Jones was there too. I yeah. Well, I used to talk What a bad ass. So anyway, Theo and I had gone to the fights a few times that one time we got Lost, Theo got frustrated because um I had a driver But the guy wasn't there. We were late remember This driver spoke a language that no one's ever spoken. No, and it's not racist because I never saw his face. so I'm not but I was in the back and I thought it was my driver, but I didn't know F called an Uber So we're in the SUB and I go just go to the back entrance like We said and then he goes Oh no, that's for special I go No, I know we're going in the back. He goes. No, that's VIP special. I go Well, what about us? And he goes You know, special. Yeah. He kind of glanced he goes, No, no special here. And then we go, no, no, We're getting more mad because he won't I go actually Actually it'd be great if You're going to the front. We need to go to the loading docos. No, very special. Yeah. And this is just a recreation of what happened, but it's not. And then And I was show showing him pictures of David like in all his like I I'm like Ticky Roberts. I'm like this is Ticky Roberts He's not going going to ring the bell. But anyway it goes Oh, he goes, he's in sitcoms and stuff and movies. He goes Oh, you're in a a sitcom now I go. Yeah, why not for second he goes, No special. And we got out in the street because we weren't getting even close. And then we got out. And I think that was the first time I realizeed how famous theia was because so many people were coming up, especially to fight And we had to wait for them to send someone to give us our tickets And people kept coming up and It's the first time where you can see it for both of us, it starts to get a little nerve wrcking because You're stuck. You can't keep moving because they're waiting So then he goes, let's just walk to the back And I'm like, well, they're not going to they might not let us in, and then we're going to There's already the guy the front with our ticket. So we sat there and everyone means well It's just when they get around you because they're you know And they're bored. And we're just standing there' like, hey, blah blah blah, right? Yeah everyverybody was kind of bored It was just like, yeah, you're just waiting in line kind of. So it was like a lot of but that driver, he just did not think we werere special enough to drop us off in a decent area. Yeah. And he kind of dropped us off in like a used person area. I was like, that's even worse than just regular He goes, Oh this part of the median. I'm like ye That guy Yeah. We got out in the middle of the street. Yeah But David, David it like Kning David hass been such a like just even getting to go to USC. like I got to sit in the front row because of David. That was awesome Um You know, just some of the relationships that I got to build over there. Dana White did a really nice thing for our movie actually Um, Oh, that's right I don't know if we can say it or not, but he He saw that we had made it ourselves and made it with our own money and he called us one day just out of the blue Can we even say that, David? I think so. yeah, he didn't care cut it And he said he he said he was going to make some make some some commercials for us and put it in some of his like during the fight before the main event. And I and then I forgot because I thought, what if it doesn't happen? I don't want to say anything? because also He's the boss, but you know, whatever. And then my friends like, I'm watching the fight dude, they're showing busboys trailers That was really cool, Dana because because Dio originally When we were looking for money. I tried DanX. I'm like And this is his bar tab so I can just ask for a little bit. and he goes, you know, I don't mind this idea. Let me. T to my guys. giveive me a couple of days And then Theo goes, hey Oh, I just got a guy that's going to do it called d a D and don't worry about it and then So that's he was kind of aware of it etting ready yet he just goes oh, I like the idea of you and Theo doing a And then We had a guy, Ezra and then we We kind of got it going then But it was it was a long road, but Yeah, it was a lot. I mean, I'd never done it before It's a lot of work It's a lot of stuff that you guys do. People don't realize a lot of it. You know, I think it' some of it probably seems easier than it is from the outside. you h But yeah putting it all putting it all together. I mean, we put it all together. I couldn't even believe it was real. I mean, writing it was one thing. It was like We would keep find ourselves in these problematic areas with the script where things didn't make sense. And I think some of the movie still doesn't make a little bit of sense. Yeah. But that's fine. You got to suspend disbelief, right? Well, for that low budget, I've never done for that low budget and we don't get you don't get a full timeline on that. I mean we We had the problem with Joder to where They were taking out budget during the shoot, which is impossible. me and Fred are going Wait We have to lose a set piece. Well that brings us from here to here. So we're That was a time jumping because We had to becausecause they're like, thenen I jumped ahead three years and thenone was like, huh? But we had to this one It was just they had the fires were going and it was A lot of wind one day we couldn't really shoot Yeah. And it's just those things when you're outdoors and It's very calmon ated And we weren't screening it. so we just We're like asking two people, we knew, does this make sense to you? And then we figured out a few questions and we went back and reshot a half a day and just said This will answer a couple things And so far, honestly, to you, I get probably eighty percent people that it's almost like they really like it or hate it. There's almost no in between These people that love it and watch it four times. And then there's about ten percent that absolutely fucking hate it. Yeah. And it's not even it's not even a toss up. They're like This is the word F minus. They don't need to throw the minus. We've talked about this. F is fine. just go to G if you're going that low. like Yeah making a musical scale. Yeah. Do you have a rotten Tomato score? Do you have a score on Rot too Thank God, because why not have a audience score? They said there's not enough reviews. Not enough reviews to come Yeah, because that's good or bad. It's good. That's I don't know what it is, but I' never heard of it before. Well studios send it to be seen and screened And we don't sendate to anyone So there's like Internet people that go, hey, I just saw it and they might say something, but it's not enough for rotten tomato. So we just have like a seventy five percent audience Really? Do we have's? I think that's good. That's like seventy five percent of my family liked it. twenty five percent we were like We shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff. We thought you were doing stuff with the church now. Yeah this was didn't pull punches with the R rated. You guys, did you write stuff and go, Oh, we can't do that. Was there anything off limits? The greatest thing about the writing was we would get into some real cul deacs and I would literally tell David and it would seem like he was not going to be able to get us out of it And then he would come up with the idea An like No, that was and for We was a wr. Yes, I wrote it, but most of the I was the stenographer. I was the court reporter. That's what I was. Well, you need someone physically do it and sometimes I'd say That was me. I was the minor. David was the jeweler, you know, the guy You know, he was the guy with the you know, he was the guy with all the gys. I was just the guy who was like R. Theoos on the road and we get on to Zoom. but we did laugh our fucking asses off. And it's funny. if you see a scene that's not that funny, me andi are like, That's so great.' like, is it But you know, you write it, then it goes through different form, then we're like, oh, we h a wall like it, Well, how do we get the drugs and how do they get? How did you come up with the I don't for the people haven't seen it, but the acidity thing of where you have that thing in your car and it identifies what kind of Animals you're hitting. That was that was the roadent radar very like like rodent radar. Yeah. They should have. It's not fair that we live in twenty twenty one or whatever and you look and you're driving and you don't know what kind of animal you just hit. Yeah. is It's not. Where's Tesla? Where What is What is this littleittle house on the prairie? likeike what? Thankk you. likeike what is going on? Right Because we were hitting things But we didn't realize they were drinking water that was laced with cocaine I don't think anyone realized that at the end of the movie. we'd have look toide. That's kind of smart when you realize that's what it is because Caine is getting lost in the water and broken up. and Yeah, that was a lot. Yeah. There's some unanswered questions. People are clamming for a sequel. They're like, just so we know what what's going on This summer, serve up the cookout cllassics, Oscar Meyer Hot doogs and Heinz mustard. Grill up a dog, add classic yellow mustard, or load it Chicago style We all know it's not a cookout without Oscar Meyer and Heines When you finally find your thing, you want the whole world to know about that thing. So you use a thing called Canva to make it an even bigger and better thing. Whether you want to create flyers for that thing, make presentations for that thing, or design merch for that thing, you can do anything. so people can see your thing, feel your Love your thing. The next thing you know, it's a thing. Canva, the thing that makes anything a thing This episode is brought to you by Fox One. Watch all one hundred and four matches of the FIFA World Cup live in four K for just nineteen doll ninety nine cents a month with three days free. Build your own multi view, choose up to three streams, and follow players spotlights. Stay on top of every moment with live stats, highlights, and instant replays The FIFA World Cup, streaming live on Fox One, offers a subject to change seefox. com for complete terms and conditions It's kind of like highway the heaven, you know? it Yeah exactly It had one good season U But' reviewingighay of Heaven I love Highway of Heaven. Yeah, Michael Landon They've tried to redo it. I will say this that they are redoing Little House in the Prairie. It's coming out on Netflix soon U, they're going back to nineteen eighty seventies, late seventies. That'd be great. Yeah. They just said people that that's how they're like Here's how we live, Paul Let's go to the mall, Paul It's fun to play a character that says Pa. N like Hll. a blind girl. Lo like the blind girl Mary, what was her name? Yeah, well, she got kicked by a horse, David Is that that's not what happened. She got assid wren on her by a She got assid. What do you think she was at like a what like one of those like a Rufus DSal concert or something? She was robbed about Oh, she was. Yeah. m is robbed of her pelts and they th us I don't know. I'm trying to us out of this I'll just be in the audience for a second. What are you guys talking about? This is This ss like movie. Yes. we're writing the movie. No, but this was this was true though. I had a show up in Winnipeg last year and I had a show up in Winnipeg last year and After the show, they're like some of the cast of Little House in the Prairieies here, they would like say hello and was like they would like to say hello And I watched every episode, I'd read the books So I even met Nelly Olson at a Starbucks when I first moved to LA. I was It was like two weeks. Villain.. I know. and I was trying to like I wasn't trying to fl with her but I was like, I'll work at your house, I'll do whatever you need or whatever You know, like, I'll put I'll put stuff on the shelves at the mercantile. I'll do whatever you need, right? But anyway, they said the cast of L last N Pay is there and the the the lady that played the mother They're like, this is the lady that plays Ma. And I gave her like the biggest hug. Like I was like this kid like like like idolize this like character when I was a kid, you know Anyway, it's cute too Um Yes, she's a really nice cool actress. Crosby is her name. Fitz Jeraln Maybe I think is the actress. Oh, the original, but the new one is n name Crosby Fitzgerald Oh You know, u Nelly Olson should be on Villains that show. Is that what the show is called O Villains She was a good film. By the way, Thea, this is off the record, but I got offered a gig in Mur Freesboro, Tennessee. Do you know what that is Yeah, I neverven't been there though. Id come though How far is an hour from you forty minutes I d forty minutes. I'll do it. I thought it was way far. They said, Wait a minute, you're gonna to advertise this and say my friend Theo's gonna drop by. I mean, no he's not I'm just asking how far the pol office He's from Smashville. I want to go to that zero tax state, man. What am I doing? I know That's the only bumber about LA love LA The has a little place here in Westwood, right? Yeah.' one hundred eighty one in Tennessee. you know hundredy one much money. He's like Scrooge McDuck. He just sits on a pile of money everyhere That is not true, dude. I if I could have I wish I could have some more money, but I just don't have anymore. If I had years, I'd throw mine away. No buto, I'm with you special Dana, Theo has a special coming out. Do you have the name of it or when it's coming out? Yeah. We haven't decided on the name. I'm trying to figure that out right now. you guys have any ideas Um I might pick one of them actually if you guys come with the g one. Oh yeah that's a good idea.. And David also looks like David Dukovny today, which people we should say that Oh yeah, for people that aren't Watching not David to comeick to. People confuse him a lot. I've been with him before You know, I don't just come up and whisper in his ears like they're out there. How about this for a title. What's up y'all atever I wanted to think of the worst title Cllling a man. I want to think of a title where he would What I already use that one. I that one Wow We were going to call this podcast Rackam. yeah. That was David's rat say after you knock a ball in a cu me Rackam. What were your previous specials names Y M No No offense was one of them Yeah, it's not very good. And the other one was called Y one Yes,. How about some taken That's pretty good. Yeah. Soome'm taken. That's another exX files reference, isn't it David Dukofy, I believe that's about people getting abducted, dude. It never ends today. Working it Working it out, y'all. Wking it out, y'all No, no snap to it. No, I think it's good, man. I just I love. Yeah. I don't know I got to listen through one more time I've been doing the editing and stuff. Oh no, that must drive you fucking bonkers. Well, it's all bonk. I mean, it's just like, I mean, even with bus booys, it was like we had to do a lot of the, you know, we had editors, We had a great director and it's like we had great people. But in the end if you're like producing it and stuff, you kind of have to make a lot of choices And, you know, it was tough. So we would go back and forth D like he made it in the edit for a while Yeah. And then we look at it and then we go. But I was always careful like if it's a theo joke I didn't want to just take it out Unless I was like, oh, I don't think he'd want this one. but sort of you want to go I don't want to be in charge of his jug. case he likes it If he took one of mine out It's easither to cover each other to make sure you don't look stupid, but some are so weird. There's a thing where you You're with the guy in the wheelchair And you're going on and on. And that's some people's favorite thing. And you just made all that up while you're doing it commitment Yeah, I probably could have had a better I get used to editing your Sone podcast. So we'll go through, you know, I'll watch everything and I'm sitting there giving notes. and so I probably could have done done a better job. I think I probably there was probably some of David's jokes. I was like, I don't think he I don know for sure. I like And I was like probably should have asked him before just like taking some assumptions Um But then there were some parts it was like, I just don't maybe this angle doesn't look great or something. It's like you want to make your boy look good Um And then But yeah, I learned a lot, man. I learned a lot about like I don't know. Sometimes you want to learn lessons easier ways, you know, but you learn them when you're in the fire, you know, And it's like I think I could have been a better teammate at times. I get used to like doing Cunities you get used to doing everything by yourself, kind of, it feels like a lot of times. You podc. Well, I understand podcasts by yourself, it's a hit Uh St up, write it yourself. It's a hit So evenven though we're good together, it is hard to say Oh E forget us to say, let's set dressing deal with the plates because We're both going these Do these make sense? You know, and you kind of start second guessing every department. There's almost too much to worry about And that drives people crazy. And then dailies are coming in, which look bad because they're so confusing Now that's one more thing spinning in your head and then we're it's just all hard And u But I do like the final product and going back and forth and saying like I would call you and say, hey Can we put this back in or did you like this or were you on the fence about like kind of stuff And then so by the end, we're both like, okay This is it. We like it. And then whatever happens happens. So I just like having it floating out there And then Kids can watch it or Mostly under eight years old is probably our problem. Yeah, it's for kids. It's for kids who are getting dropped off at the mall who are just burning time until they meet someone. until they meet there someone. orr they get a snow cone by other means. Yeah. David had some of the best choices. There was like this Steve Steve thing it's in the beginning that I was like, I don't get it But then that was one of the biggest laughs in the theater You know, um And they like that I like that moment. And And I was like, I just don't I don't really see it that way, but we're in there and people die laughing And that was like a big moment for me. I was like, dude, you sometimes you do not know what you're doing. Well, you never know until you see crowds. they laugh at something think like a cutaway joke evenven I like when we're looking at the u The wedding ring and it's so tiny, the diamond and you're like, whichich one' the front? I'm like, I think I saw earlier. Where's the diamond? No? Oh hear it is you're like, Yeahah, that's marriage medal. Yeahah,'s real But when I say you keep remember that We're like he's trying to help me out. He's like, this girl likes you still I go, but she doesn't even text me back and she went to Palm Str. She's like Yeah, because that's suspense. Have you heard of Jaws dumb It' so dumb. What a dumb. And he go, we're saving private Ryine. I'm like Well, Jaws sort of makes. Yeah, sure. It was dumb, dude. It was fun. U I'm trying to think of another really. Oh, my favorite teen is probably David in the bathroom with Tim Dylan. I think that's just such a good When he's like, makeake your favorite face mean? he's like And the Jonny says that one and he's like fuck yeah Yeah, they' angles on David with that, you know, buggeding down on me like this. also like face. And then Theo, you put in a few extra shots because you're listening And those are funny cutaways because you're doing different faces. you're like, sort of agreeing, and then you're like back. And so Combo was fun. We did it when he says Hey, I'm not gay and you're like Oh no, I'm not What do you think we're here to suck your dick? And you're like I can't suck my own dck. What a dumb thing to say. And we all laugh No, I know. I can't. I'm not gonna walk around through life pretending like I'm a goy bl himself. No, you showed us at lunch. You can't. Yeah, that's not who I am. You proved it. It wasway. It was a lot, man. Thank you Thankk you, David for just like lot of Anything else for Theo, Dana, we could go on and on forever with this We go on forever. I know this is more fun. I didn't know. I'm not on SNL, so I haven't been able to come on here Now This is our first time with. We talk a lot them all the time. Oh we have people that have never been on SNL all the time now. but that was started off was an SNL only. It was very exclusive R ran outo. It wasanago. Yeah, it was, it was. We came out with ten bangers, ten all time greats. and then, you know, it's been a little Pull up, pull up By the way, we I just saw, you didn't go to that UFC fight. I think you're working on the reflecting pool. Yeah, I was probably doing something The guy was bus. Yeah, you' busy. I think I was busy. but I thought it was one I thought that they did a great job. I thought it was really amazing that Dana White gets things done. He's a guy the guy that continues to He's a good And gets something he says he's going to do Yeah, he's not a big bulls shitter. I'm going to probably go to that I might go to the Connor Mcreg At least I'm going to watch it. That one's com up. You know where that one is I believe that's in Las Vegas. I think I' try to go to that one. That would be awesome. But yeah, even if to be welcome with those things is pretty special, man. I've met a lot of amazing people over there. And that you' all have a seen in a comment Yeah, nobody has like representatives or agents or man with that with them. So you just like, you can just meet people and talk to them like and everybody has like the fights in common that's been That's been something special. Yeah. and getting to go with David D, David took me to meet frreaking Drew Breeze one time at a party in his fricin backyard in Scotttale. That's right Oh yeah, it was it was big Who's it was Kurt Warner's Warner had a party Yeah Kurt Warner has a half a football field in his own yard. Oh that guy's rich. It was five acres right. God dang. what happens I was in Scottss there everyverybody got rich Yeah That was a lot of fun, though, they were all nice was And and Steve Meriuchi was there Mch. Oh, that's right. I've seen him since Merge Well will keep you, you're a good guy. That Hawaiian shirt looks very. BLM, dude. I wore my freickaking Tom seelek for you guys saying. Nobody even calling. There was. Oh yeah, I'm seeing it now. How did we not mention BLM? How did we m some seeleck shirt? No DLM, dude And he passed away, huh? Im Selic, I don't think so Oh, no, maybe Magnum did in the show Oh Somebody. Oh, wow, youre really brou. Somebody pass This is the third season of Magma. I mean today. funeral feed. No, my funeral feed is sorry Oh you you got a funeral app I got a bad Yeahah, I'm getting we're getting some bad intntel on it Yeah, Okay. Well Dana, the only n one to say is your podcast The Aim is boy you interviewed And some of the UFC fighters, it's extremely high skilled interviewing and it's just great content. I loved I love your lane, what you do that no one else does. I mean, there's roogan and stuff, but you do have your own style and it's you were so gentle with that boy and kind. I don't know, just just putting some sugar out there just saying Hey, what's up? you know? Well, thanks, dude. I appreciate it. Yeah, I don't really know what my lane is sometimes I know that I work really hard. Um It's almost all I do most of the time, you know, it's like the safest place for me to be even like with my thoughtoughts or feelings, I' put them into work because I feel like it's just, I know there's a potential return there, you know So sometimes I wish I could do a better job of putting like that same energy into like other fields of my life probably. But it has been great, dude, It's been great just to sit and talk with people to learn how to listen. and I've done been able to do that a little bit better over time Um know I'd like to be able to just like, Yeah, sometimes you want to have fun, but sometimes you want to talk with somebody something that means something and they let me talk to children, which is nice. And so, you know, that amish boy, who knows what happens to him. He might end up, you know You know, you know, we don't know how it's going to go for him. We hope he does well. We hope he stays over there milking with the boys or whatever. and I don't know what that term means in some communities, but But he might give up and he might go out in the secular world or the insular world. I can't remember what it's called Yeah and live it a Dav and Busters and drink his life away. You know, I don't know what he's going to do. all scenarios are very He was pretty poised for his age. I got a good feeling about him. Where did he he' really he's really fallen off the cows back since then. That's what He's not going to die by nail gun, not on Aish community where they buildu everything with like chewed up gum stuck together. They haven't done. I don't think they even got COVID or something. They really stay out of the fray Beuse it's not well it wasn't real. That's a new thing. I don't if you read Tulse Gabb's new report, but that' it's sitting on my desk. I haven't re it. So interesting. It' interesting. my question. if people didn't die COVID, what did they die? What happened? Yeah.. Dana will tell you because he doess Fauci Oh he does. tellell about the shot. Oh, do this Yeahah, do that. Well, this was one ye, the u People were getting their shots, they were timing their shots because the thing kept mutating, you know And Fci had to come out. I know I told you when you got the vaccine, you'd be dancing in the streets. I missed it by a little bit You can have ten vaccines and four boosters get and give COVD to another guy with twenty vaccines and nineteen boosters You can have forty five vaccines and two hundred boosters you can get and give Anyway, that's why I'm introducing Tony Fauci's Daily shot Every day you go to your healthcare provider and you get a shot By time you get to your car, you got no immunity, but it's a beautiful thirty nine seconds Anyway, that was my poem to try to help me deal with the whole CVD thing. R you found. I got a couple death threats, but that's okay. Yeah Hey, come on. we were right Yeah. But yeah. who knows? I don't know. I don't know anything. with that. But thank you guys for having, man. it's an honor to be here with both you guys thank you guys for all the laughter for being some of the greats. I don't think they have humor like you guys made anymore. I think it's pretty diluted the stuff we're out here. You know, you guys were dealing with pure I mean, white flake stuff straight out of Colombia, That's the stuff that you guys were giving to the masses Yeah through humor. And we're out here. this stuff has been stepped on. the stuff that we're delivering. It's got baby laaxitive in it. where's not here. We're barely filling the diaper and you guys were just blowingit fresh in it. You know, I saw wedding crashers in a related story Some of the jokes are pretty rough and you didn't even think of it back then And now you see like a movie and there's like two big comedy stars and it's like They're kind of roasting each other L look at those shorts. You look like some crazy guy in them and everyone's like Are these jokes, but it's the safest world And I think that's why there's not a lot of RAated movies because The bigger the corporation, the more they're scared of offending and hurting feelings and Some of the ones when sa our movie we were like, oh, that's a little spicy. I don't think that would work with us. That's okay. We kind of knew what we were getting into. That's good. Yeah. someome of the streamers passed on it right out of the gate, you know? And uh good I don't, you know, I've seen Yeah, and I've seen so much bad shit on some of the streamers that Uh I thought let's don't pretend like just because there's they have a channel that the shit on there is great How many bad movies are on most of these streaming platforms? Most of the streaming platforms.s It's very difficult sometimes. I'm not saying that I'm not saying ours is up. Yeah, we're not the greatest. I agree with're saying' how many movies if you turn on, you're like, what are we even doing here? okay? Yeah. I think what happens like with def comedies is you start to The same seven jokes that are sort of approved by everyone and not offensive And now it's just different versions of just a handful of jokes that are like everyone's like, okay, I mean, we don't laugh at that, but that's acceptable. Well that's what I with late night too. Late night kind of it felt like it got a little bit like that sometimes, you know, Eespecially political and Yeah, political. and then there's only one group to make fun of type of thing. But I will say that I thought it was cool that we made something and we got it done and we got it all the way through. and that gives me like a lot of pride that I got to do that with David Ficaking Sade, dude. Listen. I had such a, such a great experience going like from having an idea and being buddies and then just putting something together. So thank you for doing that And Dana, who's one of the top ten SNLs of All time. this is the compliment Dana gets They go, Dana, always funny alwaysways funny on here and then when people come to me, they go When they come on the show, they go Dana, you were unbelievable topop ten. and they go and Spade, you were on there too. You did some stuff and I go, thank you. But you can't even compete with legitimately with all the cast members that they That's what I was built to do man. I mean comy I was made for. but I didn't know it tntil later, but you guys are We sat through a lot of bad cast members to enjoy you. I say that. All right. thanks buddy. let's get. Well, if we think of a name for your special. Yeahah, we'll text you because I'd do like that stuff. I was just joking around, but ye. No, and it can be racial too. If it needs to be, I'm okay with it Black like me You could say That's not bad The N word and then you put Nashville. What did you think? Yeah Actually, think speaking of I just bought forty N worord passes online You can get them online Yeah, I got forty of them. I'm selling six of ' them for charity. But they're like pp tides or something. You can just use them out in the real world. I mean, they looked at these are official. They're official. so we'll see how that. So you in trouble Is that what it is? TBD, man, times have changed. Yeah. TBD. Times have changed. That sound you guys in the street mod Alli, listen, if you're enjoying the fly on the Wall, of course, hopefully you are. Click, follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddang button. favorite podcast. Leave a review, a good one