The Popularity of Crying on Television

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Um, this is uh almost me bit of paper. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hoscoe. Remember her? Sorry, but follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via frankoff the radio at avalonuk.com. Um WhatsApp, WhatsApp, what sap seven four one seven seven six nine four seven four five seven four one seven seven six nine um That was alright that one. I seem to keep pressing the same ones over and over again. Yeah. It's weird, isn't it? Maybe I should put the thing so I can reach it. Oh why don't you do that? That was like me when I should have moved closer to the mic. Yeah. Moved the mic close to me instead of leaning out. Ruth did a uh sound check in which he leaned in. Yeah. I uh uh uh you know where Johnny Rotten used to lean into the microphone like that and I thought you're gonna sit like that for thirty-five minutes. Oh I could almost feel the pain in her shoulders. He was a bit shoulders gonna make that clear. No, we stopped you. No, we didn't have to do that. Um Frank so what I would say about Frank If I'd gone out Frank I'm paying you a compliment to work with mind him very safe. Well that's helped me in this story. If I'd been out with Ruth if I went out with Ruth in the past . Well, I know part of it would have been because she looked like Elvis. Oh my gosh. So I'm a massive Elvis fan. You know how Nick Cage married pres um Lisa Marie Presley, and that was just like me getting Elvis buying Elvis' shirt. Nick Cage. I think Nick Cage. You're absolutely right. Of course he did. She was married to Michael Jackson, wasn't she? And Nick Cage. And it it she's just like memorable. She was memorabil ia. She was. God bless her. God rest her soul. Do you think she but she do you think Priscilla looked a bit like Elvis as well? I do. Oh yeah. I think she did. But Ruth, it could be. But I wonder about Lisa Marie, the daughter. Yeah, the daughter. Oh yeah, sorry. She looked a bit like Elvis, but that's less less less surprising. Yeah, less macabre. I I think at mine was worse though. When I was on holiday once in Greece and one of the boys there at the hotel we were staying, he said, Do you know what you remind me of? Do you really remind me of do you know the tin man ? Oh no . I said, yes, I know him. Had he been in a Pilates class with you ? I said , Yes, I know him, but I don't know why you're saying I look like him. He said, no, you really do look like the Tin Man. But like in in spirit or Well I think he thought I physically resembled the Tin Man. And my sister tried to- wearing one of those Princess Lyra metal rum pieces. And I didn't have a little hat on either, maybe. No, you didn't either But I said my sister tried to make me feel better, Ruth. And she went, He has got quite good brows, the Tin Man. Yeah. Anyway, Tin Man Elvis. What's yours, Frank? Did he d he didn't get his oil cat out? He got nothing. He went away empty handed. Good. What have you been compared to, Frank? You've had uh Graham Norton? Uh you had Alan Carr once as well. Did you? Yeah, that was I was mistaken for Alan Carr at home. I forgot that we look so alike. Anyone else? I mean I had said oh Lempship Which might have been it but um other than that and I had a shorter, smaller, younger version of me with me, my son . Oh, I'll tell you who Franks look alike, Ruth. I don't know if this is Queen Marguerite the second of Denmark. Oh yes. I was gonna say actually. Yeah. Can I uh ask you a question about being a professional writer? Of course. Do people face up know about affin profession al writers. Because you know it used to be a tradition that on the credits they were called program associates because people wanted everyone to think that they'd made up the jokes themselves. What you have now is additional material by Oh okay. But programme associate, I always remember seeing that, thinking, what does that mean? Yeah. Um It meant I'm ashamed of using writers. I always think when uh 'cause I don't write stand-up for people, it's more for sho ws on radio for or BBC Sounds, audio and my own stuff. But I don't write for stand-ups but I always think you've got one job and that's to be funny. If you can't write you don't have a programme associate do you Frank? I don't I I use writers on my chat show for um uh uh a a a a while. For the you know the opening monologue. I like the idea of that I was like Letterman and I had a team of writers and but you know and I have I may have told this before but this is from the heart I'd go up and do that stand-up and I do one of their jokes and it would get a massive laugh and I felt nothing. Did you? And for someone to whom I mean it is like honey to the bee. That's probably not the right analogy. Whatever it is, a bee's like it's Billy Piper used it. It's fine. I like neck tar don't they? You know that tar ? You know that tar you put on your neck like uh boy George used to have. We stopped doing that now. He put black paint on his neck. It was such a shame. I'll paint it. You know, Alf the decorator, I'll give him a call. Can you do more double chin? Anyway, when you were doing these monologues, so you would feel a bit Someone who laughed and means so much to me, I um I felt nothing on their jokes. So I thought I might as well do half cock jokes. Actually half my sex cock jokes. Yeah I think that was a I'll kill that typ ist. Um Yeah, so uh I I don't use writers anymore, but I respect I still don't use them. I do uh a radio for show which has got a script already. So that's all done by writers. Yeah, it's more that sort of stuff really. You do the links and the monologues and listen, you have our full respect. Thank you so much. So there. And do you can I ask in the room then? Is it always that awkward thing? Because you've been in this a lot, Frank, as well? Is it always like who's gonna speak first? Can I say and again I haven't been in a writer's room for a long time. The idea of a of you be if I don't wish to patronize you, but I think some of the worst things I've ever heard said, I've heard said in writers room. Terrible . Yeah. Dark end of humanity suggested . So uh do you work in a writer's room? Not no. It doesn't really they must have changed. So say for something like the news quiz, there'll be say three writers on and we will sit in a room together, but we just tend to write our own you know, you have stories the day and we write our own jokes and then we put them all in a document. It's not like not any writers' rooms that I've been in. You're not batting around ideas in the way that you I thought when I was younger. You know, you'd see it on tele. I thought it was like a Saturday night live or something like that. Yeah, exactly. Which it might be for Saturday Night Live. I think it is like that. Should they ever let me on it. But Saturday Night Live will not have the sort of jokes that people used to say in writers' rooms. Right. I mean it really was a dark place. Anyway , it's all clean. That's enough for that, Bab . So um sorry, do you mind explaining what that means when Bab is whom? Bab is anyone really. You know it's funny. Oh Alison Hammond says it. What if the director of Blue Heavens listened to this and I told him not to go, Yom, Yom, Yo. Then you got Frank, me and George Fourac res absolutely smashing it, everyone's loving it. He's not stealing my job, George. You've got your own job. Um is Bab, so would you say that as a term of endearment, like love? Yeah. I like it, Bab. It's lovely. What's funny is when you get younger women saying it in the like in the supermarket, a younger woman on the check out saying it to uh an older woman, you know, she'll go, Oh, that's and there's your your fifty, your tensie, whatever, bab to a seventy odd year old. No, it's lovely No, it's just one of the things that we say. What I like is uh well you can come round on Friday if uh if you over mind to if you over mind. Anyway, look we don't want to uh we don't wanna lose any more people who thinking what is this Yum Yow Yo Oh man um we should look we don't know anything about your life Ruth we don't know what you've done with your week. Now we always talk about our weeks. Well I don't want to yam yow yovy, but I've just been back to the black country. Oh okay. Um so while I was there I went to the Wellington pub in Birmingham and played darts. I'm a keen darts player. Are you? Yeah, but you're good. Well I'm part of the City of London Darts Association. Oh. Who uh I love that for you. Yeah, thank you. Who we we play at the horseshoe pub in Clark and well if you know it, it's a Dart based pub and I'm in a I'm in the bottom like there's different tiers of like, you know, you're either in tungsten or gold or I'm in development. So I played two very writer thing to be It's like yeah the very bottom and I finished last season right at the bottom as well 'cause I'm still practicing I only started in January so I played some darts at the weekend, played two matches against two ladies in my 'cause they let us play dance now, you know, they let us vote and everything. Well, I wouldn't want to be sitting next to that board.. God We'll give them to the wife. So yeah, I've been doing that's what I've mainly been doing is uh trying to practice my dance, trying to get my score up um By the way, you'll laugh. If I if I can just have a sidebar, I was on the the uh the train, overground train coming in this morning. Yeah, and uh there was a young woman sitting opposite me. I'd guess she was like uh early twenties and she was listening to something on her phone, watching something actually, and and uh every now and again she'd go Real everyone was looking round like terrif like a terrible hag laugh . And she did about three times. I thought in a minute she's gonna tell me that I'm about to be Thane of Cordor One of my friends. We got really loud as well. Cutting through you . Anyway, sorry Ruth. Oh no, that's that's kind of like that's been yes, I went back to Blackcountry, saw my family. They've got now in the Blackcountry they've got a Popeye's chicken. Do you know of Popeye's? You in these chicken shops yourself? Well they've they've got like a it's like an American. It's an American thing and they've got there's only a few. Is it Popeye actually the cartoon sailor man? No, it's like an orange, it's the same colour as just up oil. And when they opened uh Popeye's in um What's it cooked in? Butter W when they they opened a new one in Birmingham and there was a big queue outside and it was all orange and I thought oh bloody hell they're here again and then I realised it was the chicken place. Oh it's the chicken place. Popeye's chicken. Popeye's chicken and Popeye's chicken is not gonna stop the traffic and throw something at um Van Gogh's sunflowers. So there's there's more . Oh I see Popeye shakes. It's the branding is a little Hooters, I find. A little Hooters. Yeah. Yeah. Are you familiar with the work of Hooters, right? I've been to I went out with a a a a former Hooters M Yes. She said that some of the best like HR treatment she got was at Hooters. They were so looked after and so respected by the management. Not necessarily by the cleaning but the customers if they got a bit too what we used to call fresh were slapped down quite quick. What is it that West Ham fan said to you? Little bit naughty. Yeah, exactly. He said, Did he say a lot of it? He wasn't fan, he was talking about West Ham. What is he saying? But who's the scariest club in London? He said, Well, West Ham at home are naughty. Naughty . That's cute. Don't you love that? He's using it in the Shakespearean sense. 'Cause it did use to mean sort of evil and maybe he that's why he's but anyway, I I will be I copy him now. Okay . Gives a whole new meaning to the naughty's coach I was nearly on for the uh jubilee . Could have been me and a load of West Ham ultras Ruth, can we get uh can will you come to the dance with me then? Oh my god, I absolutely will. But it's very difficult to get tickets to the Ali Pali now since Lute Litla Oh Lu oh all the Johnny Comp Latelys. Fan well use Frank's name. Well yeah, that's it you you know, and with celebs now, so maybe you can get us in but it's impossible to to do it since he Well I told Frank last time I liked it. Do you remember Frank when someone asked me to get them a drink and I went to order a pint for this man and they said, I'm afraid we do minimum four pints a picture . Minimum. You weren't allowed to buy less than four pints. No, it's a great sport, and it is a sport . Uh okay. I don't think of it as a sport, but okay. Also if I was called Littler, I think I might have changed that. Oh would you? I was in um I was in uh A and E once on a book and they said um Sir uh Gary Blitter and I thought I'd change that. I'd d I'd definitely changed that. And if I was called Litler, I think I'd change that as well. Gary's Blitz. Gary Bl itter I felt for him . I mean it might have been mispronounced it might have been Blighter or something but, you know. You've got to change your li fe. Maybe he'd already changed you from something worse. What could be worse than Gary Blitter? Yeah. Well we know. We know what could be worse I think he was called a Prince Mandrew before. That's like when people are writing books and they want to try and disguise the person they go, Welsh singer Tom Pones . Yeah. Because they just they it's really they're writing about a character like Tom Jones. But they don't want to actually get sued. What about my favourite ever tribute act name? Shania Twin. Oh that's good. Really good, isn't he? So it made me happy. I think we should probably go outside well because we did we only scratched the surface. last time Well a bit like Ruth and the dartboard. Hey. Think of the money you could make up fares . You could What do you mean? You know when you can win with darts bursting balloons and stuff at the fair. I know, but I'm I'm on about trying to give you an incentive. You can't go up to women and say think of the money you can make at fairs. What are you the bearded lady or something? The subtlety, I could bring up the beard. It's like Elvis in in char row when he played a bearded cowboy . Imagine that was your chat up like in the money you can make at best um Carl from Dublin It's a terrible thing to say to someone But I like the the unusualness of the chat. Chat up lines are usually so basic, but that one specific slash rude. I might add the word travelling on the front of fairs Carl from Dublin. Ever been to Dublin, Ruth? No, I've been to Cork. Does that count? No. Okay. Um Hi Frank Emily and S. What was it like in court? Lovely. Was it? Buyant, I was thinking. I've been to Dublin many times. I was once on the upper deck of of a a bus. Did you won the Premier League? No, there was a roof. What were you stuff? There was a roof. I've never I've never been on a celebratory boss. Well you yes, you have, haven't you? Oh no, you didn't go on the bus. Frank. Oh I'm sorry, I got so excited about the story. Frank got invited to a premiere and I feel like you and David were there and it was in Scotland and it was a celebrity. Oh no but we weren't on a bus. That was You were walking. Ruth, this is awful. The thing is Ruth probably knows the story. Okay, fine. Do I? We were in Invern ess for the um premiere of Lot Ness. Okay. With Ted Ted Danson. Do you remember that? That was it, I do remember . And when we arrived, we thought it was just, you know, a nice jolly in Scotland and uh we got to stay at Skibo Castle and stuff like that. But um when we got there, they said, Right, um I I said, Can get a sandwich? She said, Well, hold on, well, let's be doing the celebrity parade first. Celebrity And we literally had to walk through it. Not walk . There's no boss for us. We had to we had to fucking walk. But they had those metal barriers up that you get like it's like the Arsenal thing. There's people cheering, going, Yeah, right. Scotland. But y there's other celebrities there apart from you and David. There was Nikki Clark. David Nikki Clark. It was Nicky Clark. Because the bloke up at Lampos who got like a number one producer, even the producer has actually lost it, Nikki Clark. It's a blast from the past. Well I went out with a How dare you, he's doing very well for himself. I went out with the woman who uh We split up basically and she went to Nikki Clark's that week and Nikki Clark sailed in and said, Oh well it was Frank and she burst into tears. Now this is Nicky Clark a wor uh it doesn't really operate in a world where people cry and stuff. It's all you know glitter and loveliness. Yeah. And he obviously thought I need to do something, but what does one do? So he went away and came back in with a glass of champagne He did do you know he did that when my entire family died. He could have brought a whole bottle. He could have, he was a bit tired of that. So anyway Annika Rice was there. And uh Brooke Shields. Do you remember her? Yeah, I mean, do you know Brooke Shields? No, but thanks for the tip That was very celebrity parade experience. I thought it was a plastic insert. Thanks. Anyway, really? I brushed Brook Shields hair for her with a Victorian uh hand brush . Three months later she was pregnant. You work it out. Well but was that as part of the parade, you brush drawing. No, no, this was my skiba. Behold I was bearded later. I was dressed as a medieval wizard. And I was just calling Brooke Shields is there. Brooke Shields, I should say, um, went out with uh Prince Andrew. No and Michael Jackson. No. Will you both calm down? Brooke Shields. Didn't she go out with Princess? No, that was Koo Stark. Oh, I meant Koo Stark. Sorry, it wasn't Brooks Shields. Let me read me let me read Brooke Shields is entirely in the clear. She's never been touched by you. Oh, was it a compl ete mistake. Cool star easy mistake. At least we got the diaphragm joking before she was corrected. Easy mistake. It was Coo Star . Yes. Both very attractive women. Both attracti ve, but one less considerably less f famous than the other, I agree. Okay. Okay. So So it was her hair that I brushed. That never touched Brooke Shields. I hope that will be the trailer. I used to collect green shields, if that's any good to you. Do you both want to hear from Carl in Dublin? I do. Yes. I'd forgotten. So would I . Um , long time reader. I heard the conversation about Steve's toilet habits. Steve Hall was on this podcast. I don't know if you heard it. Oh yeah. And this is why He sits down when he weees, isn't that? Yeah. How do you feel about that, by the way? Um I've seen people talking about this. Men we should say, 'cause it's not weird for us ladies to do it. No. No, I know that. Even I knew that. I um uh being someone who sits down to we I don't have a problem with it. I I've never watched a man we so it's You've never watched a man we never. I love that admission. Never. I dated someone I miss it with the Gen Z en It's because they don't drink. They don't drink, they're not so desperate to weigh or something. Well sometimes Well I've watched a few men weigh. Yeah, but you've been in the Urin als. But maybe with the I w I had a boyfriend who would sit No, I was pissing Billy. I used to sit at the side in a singlet. Oh no asking them to wear me. Oh god God's sake. Sorry. Uh you know I've still got that singlet. No. I don't I don't want to hear any more about pissing Billy to know singlet diaphragm. He stands unassisted at singless. Oh my god . Ruth, I feel seen with you here. We said I'm my gold at the same time. People think it's a carrier back when they come in the house. Still going . It's still going. Go on, carry on. Steve Holt. I had a boyfriend by the way who used to sit down. It was a long time ago. And he used to sit down to wee and it put me off him a bit. I think it's lazy. Did you? I think it's lousy. So you never sit down to we ar that. Well, you know, unless I'm down already. Okay. Yeah, I see. I see what you mean. It's an addendum. That's all right, but not for the main event. This is what Steve does . You know, that's his choice. Yeah. Um Carl says I lived in Munich for three years, and the Germans actually have a great word specifically for men who sit down to urinate. Um do you know what it's called, guys? It is called Setz on Pissen. You're not far off. It's called Sitzpinkler. S I T Z Pinkler. I know Frank learned some Deutsch at one point. One word though you probably won't get on duolingo, but I like Sitzpinkler. I think we need to start using this absolute Sitzpinkler. I imagine that um Munich men have like a flip lid on the end of their penises, like they have on those uh big big pints They just have to press it back with their thumb to urinate and then it gets all the drips . Very clever for the Germans. The Bavarians. Um anyway, this is Sitzpinkler. What do they call those uh things? Yes, uh they flaggons, no. They're signs . What are they?? Stein I don't know Stein sounds good. Oh actually Ruth, we're both um passionate fans of Hofmeister Bear. Does Hoffmeister Bear have one of those? I feel like he does. Does he have a Stein? Do you know Ruth got in touch with me via social media and just to talk about the Hofmeister Bear, that's how we got to know each other. When was that? Uh a few months ago. A few months ago, yeah. No need to sound suspicious. Yeah, it was it would have been after after uh maybe Pierre or someone mentioned I'm just thinking Ruth's a bit single white female. No she This was the thing when I met you, I didn't want you to think that. No, I don't think that he doesn't not like that at all. I I don't think that. No good. Okay , do you want to hear something else from the outside world? Yes, please. Well firstly, are you going to both use sits, Pinkler? I'm gonna have to insist. I like it, it's really good. Okay, I I like it. I like the way d the Germans will take like eight words and put them all together. Why are they so good at that, Frank? Why are they so good at sp specificity Germans? I think Wersprung Dirk technique, probably. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well that that explains it. Thank you so much. for that That's all right. You don't look at that anymore, do you? That's me, that's loot little . Oh Lute Little Well, Spitzpinkler. He should change his name just a bit too. Do you think his his autobiography will be mine camp? Oh Frank, don't say that. What if it did what if it was though? Oh no, no one getting a joke. No No . Um, we've also heard from a couple of people, I won't read them all, but I was talking Ruth recently about an incident I had at Buckingham Palace where I was chatting to this woman, she thought I'd queue jumped, I hadn't. I I was talking to her husband. It turned out it was Annette Mason, the wife of Nick Mason of Pink Floyd. Frank then said, and I had no idea it was him. Frank had exactly the same experience with him. Well uh v minus the wife, just me And minus Buckingham Palace. I think at that point. I think if you this is why I I wish everybody wore nine badges with their professional. Mm-hmm because he doesn't look like a rock and roll drummer. I don't even know what he looks like. Well he doesn't look if he came in here now, you would probably think I was in the middle of a legal thing. And he he'd come in because we had a meeting. Legal That's what you'd think. You wouldn't think where's his sticks. No, but you're right. And actually Although he's old he's probably of an age, but you would think that he's got to be that's the first thing I s done well to get here from his table, you'd have thought. He can stretch to a zimmer, surely. What if he had a dream a zimmer but with like cymbals and stuff on it? Branding on it. Birchie and Woking says you mentioned Nick Mason, so I had to look him up straight away and I agree. You'd never know who he was or pick his profession. No. Who else, Frank, would you put in that category? I'm thinking along the lines, Birchie says, of Rafa Benitez, who looks like a Spanish waiter. Keep up the good work. No, but that is just I know I'm worried that he thinks everybody looks Spanish. Looks like a Spanish fighter. Well that's true. I mean I do think um Gareth Southgate never looked like England manager to me. He looked like he's an area manager for John Lewis. Could it be a good one? And I mean that in a very loving way. Don't you think it's it looks in retail. Yes. No, I've I'm just aware of the play. Well I saw the play, I'll be honest with you, I didn't love the play. Okay. And one of the things I liked least about it was they mock Harry Kane and make him sound like a an idiot. Okay . And you know, he's a national hero, at least. And uh also spent some time in Munich. I wonder if he's Is he a Spitzpinkler? We can ask him if we meet him. Harry are you a Spitspinkler? I'd uh he might know it, of course, because he's living there. Um I'd like to see him playing and you just think what's that on Harry's head? And you realise he's got a small feather. Tyrol yn Anyway, um Yes the Joseph Finds who plays him, it's one of the most remarkable . I mean, it is Garrett South Garrett. I was gonna say I thought it was brilliant. He's brilliant. He's got the little twitch and his n you know when his nose moves. It's what my um my son says of my dog. He says I like it when when um her nose goes for a little dance. You know dog's noses are twitching all the time. Uh but it is an incredible but it's it's I'm loving it. Yeah, I and I didn't like the play. Oh I think it I I think I didn't see the play, but I absolutely loved this. Oh man. So what's the difference between the play and the scene? Well they're not nasty to Harry Kane for a start off. But the other thing is it's very emotional, Frank, isn't it? I don't know if this has ever happened to me before. You know when you think I'm gonna cry in a minute and you think I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna cry, I'm not gonna fight it , I'm gonna cry. And then you think um I'll obviously I'll try and look as melodramatic as I can to get full mileage out of these tears. Even the most serious tears, you think, well you know, if I'm gonna cry I might as well look cool with it. That didn't I would be watching Dear England and it's look at the bit when he talks about the penalty and all that stuff. Well the numbers on the play. No, but what happened was I just was aware of a tear just dropping off my chin and I hadn't even felt oh I'm gonna cry. You were like a Piero doll. Oh I love that. And then it happened again when um Marcus Rashford talks about his dead grandmother. Oh don't and I just it just I thought what's happening to me. I thought I was very tearful. But here what was interesting. In the play, and slightly in the programme, I haven't seen it all yet. Um Garrett Southgate is a sort of a messiah figure. A man who brings goodness and compassion and caring into a brutal footballing world is the way he's kind of sold. But But very early on in the first episode you see him get out of his car to go into Wembley and he's parked across two bays and I'm thinking oh obviously we're gonna find there's a dark, selfish on p and that's a hint early on the writers put in. Don't be fooled. He's actually can be a real bastard at times. Yeah. And uh I'm waiting for that to pay off the uh the the Do you think it's difficult for the actors when they get auditioned? Because the guy who plays Wayne Rooney is actually quite good looking and yuck and you think we want We want you to play Wayne Rooney. You think he was a bit offended.. Yeah Especially if it was in the uh Ascent of Man tab at the British Museum . He's a really unattractive actor. I'd be so upset. I'm in it as well . You're in Dear England. Oh 'cause of four number one. There's footage of me looking desperately upset in the stands after the Panama. And when they play the song . I know, but I get very I feel very proud. When my kids are This is my new career, it's me being upset on television. They've written me off as a comedian. So I'm crying on Michael McIntyre. Did you see that really? Yeah, I did, you know. I'm desperately upset. I did a poetry thing about Wordsworth, and there was one this poem called Michael, and I said to the now this is what I mean about knowing when you're going to cry. I said to the cameraman, you better get this in one shot 'cause I don't think I've ever read this poem without crying. So I got it. And the one everyone talked about, all the reviews, well when he when he reads Michael and Cries, they com tears have taken over from laughter in the popularity strikes on television. That's where the money is. Yeah. So my new show, Frank Skinner, cuts onions . Well do you know what Frank Pier Piers Morgan caught on to this years ago, didn't he? It's the X Factor stuff, it's the sub stuff. My YouTube thing, Frank Skinhood pulls hairs out of his n it was It is that's why it's a what kind of a world where tears are more popular than laughter ? I'd that cry in on Michael McIntyre was like twenty three million views. I think it's 'cause people like to see, you know, the the softness. No, they don't. They what they like is this person successful, I need to know that deep down they are heartbroken. Frank, you are so sine you're so suspicious of people. That is what they want. It is not what they want. Ruth look, we should listen to her. Yeah. Okay? She knows these. I'm a normal person. But no, but also you're younger generation and you understand this sensibility. I think they like the vulnerability. Is that what it is? I think so, because if you've ever watched Educate in Yorkshire or anything like that. My favourite show. Yeah, good. I cry at that. Yeah, so it's all it I think this generation is a lot more sensit ive, you know. There you go, friends. No but no one is thinking, Oh poor old Mandelson, you know, he had everything. Of course they're not falling. He had everything and now it's all fallen away. No one's feeling it's have we seen him cry ing? No we've got it . We've seen him in now. He must have been crying. I don't think we've seen him crying. That's why he wears a robe. Crying all the time. He needs to wear some at porous Have you ever seen Donald Trump cry anyone? No. Has he ever cried publicly, Fan? The trouble is you'd get two white lions running right down his f oh no, that would that would be that wouldn't be very good. He'd look like a Murray mint . Oh he must cry, everybody cries, don't they? I don't write R E M. I don't know. Everybody hurts somet ime Why was it when I sang that? You did an arthritic claw. Yeah, I did an arthritic claw and I imagined Steve Hall sitting on the toilet. We lovely image to end the podcast. Can I say one image of fluid leaving the human body after the next? This is how this has ended. It's ending awfully, but I've so loved having Ruth on. Me too. I want to apologise, Ruth. My hair looks a bit like David St. Hobbins from Spinal Tap today. But that is because I got caught in the rain. You're apologizing because your hair isn't good. I feel I want Ruth to see the best of me, because I like Ruth. No, and I I I wanted everyone to see the best of me and I got caught in the rain as well. I didn't care about as long as I was funny, I didn't care if I turn up with a major disfigurement. Yeah, I noticed. This is what it's like working with bloody women, eh? When I arrived today, I thought what's Ruth gonna be like because I had only seen tiny clips of her. And then um she was fanning herself because it was I don't know, I thought she might be having might be having a flosh. I didn't ask. Excuse me. And then she was how old do you think I am? He's used to me . I don't know. Apparently you can have it when you're a child. Is he? Yeah. All right, okay. Google it. Anyway, she was um fanning herself and I said, What is that you're fanning with? She said it's a large mirror, it's got a light on it as well. And I thought she can stay, I love her. Yeah, I mean But then uh Frank was talking about what's your brand and when he saw the massive mirror he said, Well I know what your brand is. Yeah. And I thought, mm, that's derogatory. Well stage direction derogatory. Do you know what? Do you know what? You weren't wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. No. Vain. No, but that was before I realised you look like the Mississippi Flash. Okay . That's enough. I'm gonna go and cry now. Sound like an old dead man. Well people will love that. Can you do it on air. Twenty eight million views. So listen, the next episode of Frank Skinner's Radio Days is out on Wednesday and we're discussing I'm worried Ruth will remember all of these topics, urinal etiquette bloody hell. That's all we talk about. That's not what's the other week said all you talk about is piss. Can't remember. Did someone say that? It might have been at the piss convention. Yellow river it's gold. We all sing Yellow River. Yellow River. You will keep going to that convention. Yeah, I parked on a single yellow line. I realised uh Oh god it. No, never mind. Just read the thing. Eurinal etiquette. Dodgy texts. That'll be me. Eurinal etiquette is a name I'm gonna use next time I check into a hotel. It's my student. Hugh. Hugh. Right and Emily tumbling down the stairs. Oh that was awful. Was it? Yeah. Well, um we're we're now selling it as entertainment . Okay, so um that's us uh Don. Ruth, it was a absolute joy. Yeah, we love it. Oh a joy to be here. Thank you so much. No, I'm really mean it was great. Yeah, I do mean it. I mean it too as well. Uh won't have to pass that grammatically I mean it too as well. I mean it too as well. Okay. I think two means as well. Okay, or are you ? Deconstruct a lovely compliment. Can we just remember that I'm from Warsaw, okay? Okay . Um, thank you everyone for listening. And um I really want to end with Merry Christmas. What's the point? Oh daddy, it sounds depressing and weird. It does. I'm not doing that. Why'd you do that? What's the next big thing coming up? Halloween. No, that's I just watched Independence Day. Happy um Commonwealth Games. It's in Glasg ow . It's the Frank Skinner Podcast . A new winter changes blowin' . It's the Frank Skinner Podcast . I'm not totally sure how it's going . Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frankoff the radio at avalonuk .com .