Peter the Wild Boy in Norwich

Frank is where your days could go I want to ask you something now I don't know alienate you, Emily, but this is something to g doentle withman's conveniences. Won't be alienating more . Okay . No I don't want to introduce toilet humour of any kind on breakfast radio. So let's keep it clean. But there is something which is confusing me of that. Okay, I'm looking to you, Alex. I've done some extra research . I'm finding this I think I can say you Rinal. I'm absolutely right All right, Daisy? . When at the U Rhinal , it sounds at the beginning of a fabulous poem, but I've noticed now that people around me using the facility men, obviously. Policeman. Yeah, people yeah. I was proceeding down the road in an orthily direct no, but I've noticed lots of unbottling going on. Right. So blokes get to the U Rhinal and then it's all completely unboxling and open . When you say unbuckling, which FY is absolutely disgusting . Absolutely disgusting we'll go onto that. Why? Oh God. Clanking around like Jacob Marley. Who 's that? You're right. When you say on Buckley? Marley is by the way. Jacob Marley from Christmas Channel. In the chains. Oh, okay, right here. Who's dead at the door now? He basically do the trousers go onto the ground? No, no, not on the ground. They take the pants off as well. No, the trousers just hang, hang there like some sort of how are they getting purchased? Terrible nest of some gentlemen How are they getting purchased? The undone unbuckled trouser and there are gentlemen here. But why are they unbuckling ? Why happened? You know, why take the roof off if you can get out the front door? That's a good point. That's a good point. That's what fly holes are for. You just stand and you won't zip and that's it. When did it start the unbottling? What's it about? I really skinny jeans thing, do you think? Oh, I love jeans . Why does he? They're so skinny that they have to give themselves an actual bit of breathing space. And of course a skinny jean won't fall down. Now exactly you could just get hands free with the skinny Jean. Skinny Jean won't fall down is a Michael Jackson track that didn't actually make the album. I know it was a Kevin Cosner album I really feel for Men and your rhinos though. Maybe so no, I think there's something so primitive and barbaric about men having to do that against the wall. It's your right. Just we get privacy and I want priv acy, please, in that situation. It's like medieval. Why do you have to get into such a strange competition as well? It's horrible. Can I ask you a question? You can, but I might not answer it. Okay , if you know someone is what makes me ill in the Urinal. Let's say you and Alan in a track in a minute. You both need to go. Yeah. There's a Urinal. Do you make what do you say to each other? All right, mate. Well , actually . Is that what we say? Well, I've occasionally been to the bathroom simultaneously in Absolute and he leaves the full door open. It's not your rhinal system here. It's cubicles. Full door open. Is there nothing back across? I've got nothing to be shamed off. Why shoot it across because I'm not just an unbuckler, I'm a full trouser dropper. Us boxes right by the ankles. Rhinal. No, I'm always barely I said we keep this clean, but we're barely holding on by a I haven't even got to my next problem and relaxed that I unbuckle and fully drop the trousers. That's very dependent on like what I'm wearing. I wouldn't do that if I had my white tucks on. I would just go I'd probably hold at about thigh level anyway , I think if someone unbuckles in a urine, I think there should be a panic button that can hit. Yeah. I think a panic button should be an FRE public toilet. I'm so frightened of public toilets anyway, apart from the intimidation element of just the hygiene thing . We've been so taught now that you can't go I don't touch it sometimes I'll just shut the door. I have gone to a public toilet, done the full sitting down thing and done the whole thing with a pair of disposable chopsticks. I haven't touched anything with my hands at all. Everything's been on butt. I'm so worried. You know, they get those press flosses now like you've got here where you press. I use my knuckle my fist. I sort of punch it. Like you're bumping fists with someone Yeah I'd probably be a really brilliant fighter next. I've got poison poison arrows my knuckles hate someone they'll get some horrible illness I've got from dozens and dozens of cisterns. You know what you could do instead is just when you fill up the car with fuel get some of those plastic gloves that you sometimes see in service stations but you can't fill them in your inside pocket on your suit. You can't be seen. Disappearing into a cubicle in rubber gloves. And I think not. No, I think I'm doing some sort of I've got some sort of illegal business going on . Certainly not. I'm not sure if that's what they'll think but anyway no. We have heard from the outside world with a few people suggesting that it is the button fly that is the problem there. Why is that a problem? What are the nineteen eighty five? People can't be biking at it. They unbuckle for ease of access and then you can pull all the buttons off. Well I think it takes I've got another theory. My experience , let's call it. Yeah , tells me that the men these days often favor a brief. Oh, is that right? Over the years I've been locked up I've been left behind. Have you dating a lot of sportsmen? Because I think I've may have mentioned on this show before that in everyday life I favor a boxer short, but for sporting activities I prefer to be held maybe they're just coming straight from side by side or something. Is that why? Is that why they're getting the breeze? I don't want to go into too much detail, but it's still quite easy to do that all through the, you know, it's a sort of key OLC surgery approach . It's still quite straightforward and even the bottom fly I've used the bottom flyer without even on bottoming . Where there's a wheel there's a way . Do you ever use the cubicle then in the middle? I don't understand I don't understand the setup. What is the setup in there? There's yourinals and then one cubicle for someone who shies. No, I told them. We don't let you in on too much of the mystery. No, I'd like to know what it was women's toilets. I've always imagined there's a lovely trestle table with no mouth cakes. It's like great British bake off in there. Lots of ginger, I imagine in a woman's toilets and people, you know, talking in a little blocks. We have little lammies on a string. Yeah it's so the atmosphere everyone's so polite . Why don't you imagine it's a much lovelier place? Oh, it's lovely. You come out and if it doesn't flush and say, I'm so sorry it's not working properly in there because you want them to know it's not you. You see men don't . Don't communicate No, it's not a place you have where much conversation. Maybe we should move on, but I'm still intrigued by the bottling if anyone has got any other theories on it. The bottom fly's not to me. I mean, how common is the bottom fly? That's what it west wind is statistics. What is the zip bottom breakdown ? Apart from a great name for a band . Wouldn't that be brilliant? Yeah, I saw the old the Z last night. ZB they'd corner, wouldn't they? Zip Bottom Breakdown. Yeah, fantastic. Their new album . Everyone says I'm really fly for a white railfish. Speaking of bottoms and phones in close proximity , you know, bomb dialing you accidentally you're pretty cool. I think that's what it's called. It's been called Bundler. Yes, that's why it's called a variation of that. You know, when your phone rings by call. Do you? Well, depends on what you keep your phone on. I think since you've been acting, maybe it's a handbag calls it. Dick Emmary handbags. Exactly. Tom from me. I mean, to me I just assume that you know, you get you get a call and you answer and you hear . And sometimes you get a message I've had phone messages like eight, nine minutes. Of all the times I've been bomb dialed, I have never, ever heard anything of even the most minor interaction swallowers through . They never talk about you and you hope they're welcome. But you know what if it happened in a short story, you hear them say something very significant about you, which would lead to never , if any of our readers have ever been bomb dialed and heard anything of any interest whatsoever, please let us know. I'm not sure it's ever happened. No, I think you might be right . It's not to me. I do know something that happened, but it's to a famous person. I can't say I'm sorry. You can give them a false name . Let's call them Eric McGiven. Oh I can't wait, I can't call them Eric McGivan. I'm too close to it. Then I'll have to think of a false name for the TV show . Eric McGibbon and the show called The Bells of Wales and it's about church audio recordings . There you go. There's your raw materials . We'll have a bit of a commercial radio bladder and then we'll come back to your reconstructed anecdote. Don't let me down. things quite frightening . No for my reward . Your award is the tale well what we're doing in case anyone wasn't listening to that last link because I do have a story about what do you call it Frank? When someone calls someone I'm like to say bottom calling because when someone calls someone saying bomb dialing Yeah bomb dialing and this involves a celebrity . So in order to protect my life really. I'm going to change the names of everyone involved to your suggestion Eric McGivan. Yeah He's the main character and the in it is called The Bells of Wales. The Bells of Wales. Yeah. So as you all know, the Bells of Wales huge hit show. Yeah, everyone wants a piece of it. Yeah, massive. Eric McGivern at any point it becomes obvious who this is you have to stop me. Okay. There are many big shows I don't worry. Eric McGibbon, he created it as well. It's his concept . Yeah Didn't just star in it. Okay . So Eric McGibbon sitting at home and the phone rings and it's bum dial . I imagine his ring tongue from St. David's Cardiff , which is programme one if you remember that someone that we are . It's my favourite app. Normally I don't like the first app of things, but yeah I like them . I liked it series seven when they were doing little country chapels he would normally go to . I hated it people trying to be cool, calling it BOW . Yeah, and the Christmas was the town cryer Christmas was special for me waste of time . So anyway, jump the shark in it got a call Eric . So he gets a call Eric from the producer of the Bells of Wales, who we shall call producer of the book. What do we call him ? What about Ken Penology? Ken Penology 'cause it's a bit like Kenology which Bellings a bell Paul the other one . So Ken , Ken Penology rings you up Bombial. Ken Penology bombed Eric McGivid. Yeah . And Eric given his is keypinology trying to chat up a lady saying, Well, you know , the Bells of World was all down to me. It was my idea from the start . No one wanted to do it . I told Eric McGivan all about it and I sold it to him. I managed to persuade him and eventually remade it. And apparently it seemed to go down well with the lady . Kempinology pulled as a result. Good he pulled . That's but how did Eric feel ? Well, I think he found it amusing. did Eric mention it to Ken or did he just as this something that Ken is not How Eric McGiven dealt with it was tell everybody but Ken Penny Kenneth? The opposite of what you do, Frank. That sounds very sharp, isn't it? Eric . Okay . So, if you're only the wiser on that? Well, I'd say I liked it better for not knowing. nine hundred and eighty one says just after my daughter was born a friend rang accidentally and I heard him describing my baby willow as looking like churchill . I wasn't angry for long as it was true. Luckily, she is beautiful now and listening now. Great. Oh he then dispenses some praise. That's Andy and Willow in Laytonstone. Oh, lovely. For I say Willow, he was he was moving toward Winston. That one stopped himself at the last minute do all babies look like people they say don't they're a cliche that people say all babies look like Churchill? No, my niece Bertie looked like Joe Calzaggie when she was born. now I think Buzz looks a bit like Russell Tofi . I do. I think this is true. Funny, but it's true. What loneliness can do ? Everybody . Okay . I did I tell you I was in I was in mass once in a Catholic church. So it was one of those clubs near you and my phone went off, which is always terrified. It's only ever happened to me once in church and at the time I had three lions as my no ring toned, just a treble . Oh dear. Treble the I got rid of it. It was hoisted on your own. It was also it was like in the early days a ring tones. So it was sort of like it like crazy frog quality . Was it like an actual recording of the song so that was oh dear. Did you read about Alf ie Bow? He's that tenor and he know Alfie Bow. How do you open it up? I just want to check this where's he I think he's one of the Beaux of Wales ? Yes. Alfie, yeah. Alfie Bowie. I saw him in lab funnily enough Lab Bow M. Did you ? I did you? Bow related to something it struck me that he probably thought well do. He's got Bow in it He only does bow. He guessed vocaled with the bow did ly. He did. He's doing a musical of Robin Hood just because it's got archery in it. Yeah Yeah for one of your lovely performance in those doing a brilliant version of oranges and lemons bells of bow ls okay let's leave it there. Okay . He was in the paper because he answered someone's phone when it went off. This is one of my bug bears like when a comedian bug bear comedy stuff . When people answer phones at comedy gigs , you shot up about it. Everyone saw us, oh yeah, that's a bit sort of easy laughing. Why do the comics do that a lot do they? Yeah, it's a reasonably easy way of doing it. You've done it? Well, I've done it in the past. I've moved on. You've done it. No, I don't do it. Okay. I don't do any kind of crowd work. But when let's say a civilian that is a public speaker, does it? He's like, Oh wow, how irreverent, isn't that amazing? He took the phone call and he said to the woman's mother, yeah, I'm Alfie Bowen, your daughter standing next to me. Oh brilliant. I just think no, it's still rubbish, isn't it? But a teeth says something remotely funny. Yeah. Like say a priest , like a priest in front of a congregation, I believe they're called. If somebody got up and went out and the priest went, Oh, while they've gone should we all hide which is a hackline in a comedy club. In a church that'd be like, Wow brilliant. What if there's a priest , you feel that you've had to hide ? Oh my priest quite suggesting it's sort of low hanging fruit then. Yeah, to a degree. Mind you for a priest? It's the dog on his way. I think we are actually. I had a terror. Can I tell you this is so awful. When in my single days many years ago here we go Legend Alert Yes got a feeling I met a woman in a in a dream suit toward his behavior sickens me in a in a cafe actually. And I I texted her . I texted her the next day. I've got time to tell this story. I texted her. You taken this hot day on the night of her life to account? No, I just met her. I had I met her there. Okay . And she gave me a number and I texted her the next day and this is this makes me sound really bad, but it was a long time ago , I didn't know any better. I texted her and it said does my memory deceive me or have you got a fantastic bottom? I've cleaned it up a bit and then I sent it and then I thought it wrong. Hold on . Hold on and I realized I sent it to my niece and I went into a mad panic and I thought I've got a phoner. I've got a phoner and tell her. So I phoned her and I said if you had a text from me in the last hour? And she said, yeah, and I said it wasn't meant for you. She said, Oh , I just thought it was you being weird. Thanks Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. Your to do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life . So finding the right tool that not only helps you out but simplifies everything as a built in business partner can be a game changer. 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Start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at shopify dot com slash realm. Go to shopify dot com slash realm. That's shopify dot com slash realm I've actually been the victim of a miscarriage of justice I'm calling it . I've had people presuming things about me which simply aren't the case. Okay . I had tense a bit tense. I'm tense yeah. Okay . Okay , you might get more tense I had, I'm going to call it one of my falls, Frank. This way. Oh, okay. What are my falls? I was descending my sort of white wooden stair. Daisy's familiar with them. Frank also a bit province you're not Alan. Sorry about that. Not seeing the stairs. Sorry. I can't remember. Do you have a carpet? No, it's white wooden provocation. It's always a risk . I had I'm going to be honest about what I was wearing. Okay. I had a bra on . Okay. And black bar black tights. It was a bit bunny girl . Right. nineteen sixty's So you see a stocking foot on a wooden stair. Yeah, very slippery. Very slippery. I mean, I can't tell you how many people have accidents like that. Holding a car I actually can't, so don't have that I've got the stats. Okay, so you're really in a tea? I'm rushing to I'm not gonna lie. I'm going to visit my therapist, okay? You don't have to lie about that. I'm holding a cup of tea. Is she alright with you just turning off dress like she's heading dress? She does. It gets interesting. Fine. She just wears a chemise . She believes we need to express ourselves? No, I think that I'm with her on that. I think that sounds alright this therapy anyway. She does lingerie that's great. Right. She's one of the few lingerie psychoanalysts left in London . Anyway, baby Dullbaxter, she's now shit on. I'm rushing down the stairs. You can't be late for your therapist. If you're late for your therapist, you know that's going to come up in this. Does they read a lot into it? Oh yeah, it happens their all j bobrain reallys. That's their job . Again, two clubs in a park. That's their job, really, isn't it? Yeah So I'm walking down the stairs with the cup of tea at Edinburgh Festival Margaret was , I was rushing. I went flying. East Ender's steam tuned properly. Don't da How many stairs up were you would you say when you went? I fell about eight. Oh dear, that's a lot. Yeah. Six to eight . I find just missing the last step can jar the back . Yeah . My cocks , I could feel it. Oh no. When I landed right on it, I sat there and I cried. Paranoi. The cocks, the trouble is you always worried that when you reach the top of your spinal cords just come out at the top of the scalp press it back in. As someone who lives alone, obviously I thought I was going to be eaten by Alsatians. No one's going to know. Yeah, have you gone Alsaceans ? I think that's people who own Alsaceans and that atoms because they'll just roam in like rats. What do I mean to anybody ? You say that you should have been around in the seventies because they were everywhere those dogs. Was this an urban myth about the woman who was putting the meat in the oven and the oven toppled over and it fell back and her arm was trapped in the in the offin door and pinned down by the oven and her arm slow cooked over the weekend . Oh that's such a horrific What was her attached to it? Was there attached to it? Yeah, she was she was pinned down. She had to lie there . But was she alive while her arm was cooking? Yeah, she was alive. So she got to smell her own arm cooking that gross . Yeah then they got hungry about a day in. Oh, God, if you're thinking of smells great . My arm in Armin . Very good. Okay. We'll have to come back to this. We have to talk about. Oh, I'm sure. I like this. game was regular days and adult meet days as a student days as in the seventh of the week so this is a take at as I think Robin , the nephew of Kermit, the Frog said we were halfway down the stairs. Ironically, we had to break your full story, didn't we? You did? Yes . So you fell eight steps and landing six to eight I'm gonna say landing six . Six two eight in a hole is just something quick exaggerating. The idea of you crying in just a bar and pantsy house. There's something terrible about that. It's not the cover of one of them just terrible for you a were gonna say that was great now. You know, those true detective comics from the fifties when there'd be a woman in her underwear crying on the cover. Isn't it awful that because I was on my way out the door hair and makeup was done so, I felt relieved . I felt momentary relief that if they come to get me, I look quite good. Didn't you have a bit of an Allies cooper from the tears? No, waterproof eye up or is even in a crisis. Very sensible . So what if you want toed do some impromptu synchronise swimming? Yeah, straight in. Well, so I went to my therapist and I started to realise a bruise formed, very quickly a bruise formed, a massive bruise . I realized and we're still in the sort of post Christmas area at the moment when you told people how big was the Bruce Form site? I'd say it was covering a quarter it was huge. It was huge . I said, Oh, we know this is terrible. I did it falling down the stairs. Everyone, the same reaction everywhere. Oh yeah. How much did you have to drink? Of course. See, what happens? How much had you had? Well, what I started doing, I got so annoyed with my trainer. He said, Oh , you are old drunk. You all drunk? I said I wasn't. And then I thought it happened at eight thirty AM . But because I was so angry about being called a drunk I started telling lies about the incident for some reason. I said, It happened at seven thirty as if that made me seem it seemed less likely that they weren't fighting so drunk . It just makes me think you're more likely to still be over the limit from the previous two years . That's seven thirty. It was a driving thing. Yeah, I kept saying it was the morning. I was over those days wake up still fighting drunk drunk. Fantastic. Frank, I've always been suspicious. Anyone with bruise , Show me a bruise, I'll show you a drunk, I generally think. So what about show you a slow cooked forearm? That's not true , that story. No, no, probably. Well, we've had no verification. No, either way. I mean what did therapist, the therapist inside who been drinking? Because they don't seem quite a thing they they? No, know because she's not like that fortunately. She said she just raised an absolute clothes on please . She said, You're rather overdressed for art session . She just she said, Oh, how did that happen? That looks . Oh no, you see that more in me a therapist. Think about that. Did that happen? Part of you that feels that you're in a higher status than you really should be. So you're trying to cast yourself down a few steps in the bladder. And this is how does that have itself in a physical way? We'll come back to this because I'm very intrigued by the danger elements. Tights, I imagine are even shinier than socks on a wooden stair. Oh, there's a big sheen. There's a big martin. Terrifying . They're very slippery. And you just go, once you go, you go. You see ? Then you can't get any purchase . That's awful. I have been I've had occasion in my professional career to wear fishnet types and that are if I'm friends with those what fantasy football leagues . Yeah, if I've dressed in, you know, in sketches, I've dressed in sketches you wrote . Yeah, maybe I've sketches you wrote to be performed at Raymond's Review Bar. . I felt very confident in a fishnet foot . Well , it's a bit like having, you know, I'd take on an icy road in fishnets . You know, you put chains on the car wheels in real life. Yeah, it's like that. I would totally agree with you, Fank. A real grin g.rip You can get a . It's like the base of a timber. What I would if I were you if I were you, I would keep a couple of fish net pop socks at the top of the stairs just for that just for that journey makes sense. I started the descent stair lift. Well, better still get it out there. Why did you get a fishnet stair carpet? No, because I don't want my house to look like Dr. Frankenfert is a bow. No, you're quite right. Are they still classed as? I'm going to use the word sexy if they? Oh, well not sexy conversation I still use that word still. Okay . Oxy? Oh , you gotta say panties and I'm gonna leave you say I would never say panties. I say knick knacks . That's caused some confusion when tidying up the brick er br.acket No , but know you what you, know, when can I tell you what I think fishnets have become ? They're a little bit BBC news reader doing a skit where they're pretending to be sexy. Oh, a bit children in need dance. They're a bit children and the adults . They've got a bit fancy dress. You're right It's all about the bare leg now. Yes. Isn't it? It must be terrible for a garment like that when it's been the very height of sort of sauciness suddenly becomes like a cheap joke, yeah. It is a bit. Consider ye the people Brazil indeed it's, you know, that's not if you were a fan of the cape for a resurgence. Didn't think of the cape as a time when the cape. What about the cape just fashion? What about a tight tight and a bar and a cape? The cape does not fit into this cabin. Doesn't it? Hold on I'll be with you and I'm just gonna pop to Anne Somers for a cake Whoever said that I reached what I can only describe as a parental milestone this week. I've heard many parents refer to this moment over the years but being a non parent I just thought short seeing you in the fish next is that what we know ? Not yet . We have got we have got a section of wooden stair with no carpet so, I'm thinking I might take up the pop sock. Yeah. You're careful on that stir myself. You could have a fish net safety net raise just above. Anyway, now this is something that people have always said to a cou ofple asked me, have you blah blah yeah and I've said no. So it happened this week. For the first time I am in bare feet I've stood on my first lego really and oh man the pain. I had no idea it hurt more. Why? Why does it hurt that much? Oh it's worse than a plug, isn't it? It went right up my guy up. A plug's bad. I'll tell you something about a plug though. I am something that plug a plug. I had a mate and he had an auntie in Margate. So we had a weekend at the seaside and we went and stayed. And his auntie was she was in a bad way because she was, I mean, she was Ratond . Let's put it that way. She's a big woman . She'd been changing a light bulb while doing some of the curtains or something standing on a chair This sounds like a woman with the arm in the cooker. It's absolutely true . She stepped off the chair, she stepped onto a three pin plug that went through her heel. No it went through the snake of her heel and apparently she as she liked waiting for the ambulance she pow,ered a two bar electric fire for twenty five minutes just with her own vibrant personality . No, but it's true went through her . She had like a proper well, she had a lot of dressing on so but she said that she had a proper three pin holes in the bottom of her. Do you right injury that? Well, then I presume Yes, that is an injury. Yeah. Anyway, you and the piece of lego. What sort of lego may ask was that? I'm intrigued. Well, it was to I mean, to str beictly technically speaking, I think it's called Duplo. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, the bridge two leg ho, but it still really hurt. I suppose the ultimate I've yet to reach the ultimate honour which is to stand on a roller skate at the top of the stair . But you know, it will Commelie's been doing that so far . God, yes . And people have been texting in. You said that you've had like a parental right of passage this week by stepping on Lego for the first time . With you've inadvertently started stepping on things , texting . Frank, I've found that wearing Lego shoes helps instead of hurting you just get taller. Excellent work from Steven Prenton. Maybe I could make some Lego shoes. Oh yeah. Oh, I feel this pain nine nine nine have you ever stood on the adjuster bit on a bra? Oh that's painful. I don't know . Yeah, I was burying the body of an ex girlfriend at the time. I was just trying to using was my hands and legs to get it off. You know, when you know when you fed up fed up for digging and you start just trying to tread them down. Have you never had a discarded? No, I've never stood. I've never been involved with a discarded bra, how d youare? No, but have you never been thrown off in the heat of passion? Well, it's all far too regimen. Maybe not, but I've never stood on a on a brafter. I have. That's and that really hurts. Oh hurts I like that. Sound like you've sneaked in a car advert. Hurts much . It's sponsored by them. We digress . It's now time for a d weigress could be the slogan of this show. We digress could be a pop band that have been on X factor or something, couldn't they? Yes. Yeah. Anyway, I believe we have a section of this show called Biber Watch where we where we discuss the god of one that is Justin Bieber I've got the jingle here jingle for Biba Nice Eleven police cars descended on Justin Bieber's mansion on Tuesday to investigate an alleged vicious egg attack on his neighbour . Brilliant, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, he's obviously visited West Yorkshire and he's heard about Mischief Night. Have you heard about Mischief Night? Mischief Night Is that Halloween? No exit. Yeah, you just that their version of Halloween? Yeah, essentially you just go out and get up to Mischief Bieber is still in the age bracket where mischief knight would be acceptable. Mischief Knight means something very different to me. Doesn't it? He is I'd say he's nineteen, but this is what happens if you get the teenagers get mansions. They were like their neighbors. It's great that he's got a mansion at nineteen . I mean, I mean, as you know, I libra bever . But he's a very great fool, you know, because you know he',s nineteen and he's like, I mean, he's had everything for him. He's I imagine they were fabric eggs. That's why they were so dangerous. That's twenty thousand pounds worth of damage, but that was just to the fabric eggs, not to the house. I mean, how do you do that much damage with eggs? What was he doing? He's got the baby . Diamond dominant. What I don't understand about it and what I find extraordinary about this is if you're going to egg someone don't make it your neighbours. That's why hard to make a clean getaway. They say don't eat on your own doorstep. That's what they say. Yeah. Yeah. Confucius. He was detained in his garage . Well, let's see. Yes. Yeah. I liked like it was a knight in strange ways. He was detained in his garage. Was he with the rest? Was it Garage Banth? Well, yeah, and then it said the police were searching for evidence including any other eggs in the house. Oh, they must have been going . He's lucky he took his shirt off that would have had splashings.. Yeah I bet he took his shirt off and yeah, there was eleven police cars outside. And they were looking for eggs. I hope he hasn't got like a home recording studio and they walked in and there's just all those egg boxes all over the wall like you know what? I hope he hasn't got a home recording studio for Well is it something to do with the fact that he's Canadian Because I think Canadians are seen as very sort of mild mannered gent,le , cal, nice people. Not this one. Yeah, well, I wonder if he's trying to break the against that stereotype there. He's trying to break an egg. Whereas Bubble embrace Canadianism. He's a friend of the show. Yeah, isn't he like Booby? He is because he was very nice to you on that show Grace. As I said we just say you spit the Canadians Boob boobbla boob . Have you ever been there to either of you? I don't think I'd have ever been egged. Have you ever egged? Where were you egged? I was egged I think in a Halloween incident by some Nerdwells in Cardiff. Was it Mischief? Yeah, I think it was mis chief . Yeah. It's not electric or treat type time. It's happened to me. Yeah. We're doing a bit of extra work on the Belt of Wales. Okay, yeah. Back then I was in that hit, you can't see me. Yeah that massive hit and Eric et cetera can we can we do that one again et cetera and as himself Alan Cochran That's what I said. Yeah, I've been eched have you been eched? Oh yeah, I've been eched. Have you? Can you imagine me being egged? It was awful. What could happen? I was a student, I say student. I was wearing suede high heel boots and I believe it was a velvet miniskirt. Oh , that's egg could do a lot of damage. Can you imagine? It's tenacious character, Egg . And I was walking down the front in Brighton and someone passed I was going to a gentleman's apartment and someone passed in a car and I just felt I felt the impact of the egg and then I just saw a shell everywhere. It is a salt. It's bad. Yeah, it was. I've been eched and I've been chickened. I just can't remember what order happened in Oh hold on and put your microphone up on, I can only apologize . I did that on purpose . I don't think I've ever done that before how awful. What would your analyst say about that I just wanted to silence? My analyst would say, Why do you think you did that? Yeah. Really? Is that the sort of thing? Yeah, you have to go on the journey. You have to discover why you behave as you do. That was my version of being a rotting stag. That rising. It could be. Why do you think you did that? Analyst right. Now, I tell you what the analyst would say. How did it feel? How did it make you feel when you did that? It made me feel awful. Oh, okay. Because I'm pretty here . Yeah . Like someone at the end of a phone in the cartoon. Yeah, like someone from the north was trapped in the attic of my house and I was in the kitchen downstair . Jeal that's terrible. That sounds like the voice over to a cartoon also suddenly there's a version of me on pingu I love the do now don't you let you sound like the voice album as long as you know I thought I sounded more like there it is again I'm just getting out I've ascended the stairs I'm getting nearer the attic now to let you out. Give mine node again someone up there can I help you? Well I can't well So I didn't have cast out taking all Alan's up there again . So no, I'm sorry I didn't that's all right Rain fader. Let's move on. We've had a few texts in from the outside world we're talking earlier about bomb dialing on the mobile phone to when you accidentally call someone Yes in your bottom and we've had a text from Joe saying, Hi Frank, me and my girlfriend were making out. Later that week, my girlfriend revealed to me that she had bumded her dad during this session. You may have heard the entire affair. We hoped kn.ots I worry about you because you say making out and I don't like that. Me, I didn't. I was reading. No, I'm not saying you personally I'm saying no, I think it's a nice clean way of putting it. I commend them . Okay, I know it's a big American. It's a big grease too . But did you give her a hickey? Yeah. That's a love bite, it's okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah. pretty safe. I mean, I don't know what I do in that case. Yeah, I insist that all the phones in the house are put on airplane mode before we even get to heavy petting. Really? That's safe sex gone crazy . You can't be too careful, I think. I'll tell you what else. One for seven has written to say this. Standing on a bra clasp hurts, just tried it with four bras load of rubbish, get a grip. I love that they've done the experiment there . Okay one forty seven. You want to play, let's play because I'm afraid . That's very good. When I said you want to play let's play I was quoting Lee Ryan from Blue, I don't actually talk about it . He said that last night and I enjoyed it. I'm not talking about the bra clasp a bit at the back . That's the only bit men are familiar with and we know why Well, you do get those front claspy ones. Remember those are they still? Oh, I remember them, my friend, yeah. Yeah I'm talking about the adjustabit. Are you familiar with ? Oh yeah on the straps . So sometimes that can get raised because it gets fashioned into the shape of the shoulder as well. I see. That's what hurts. Try that four times . Yes. Yes, so one four seven go to the adjust leave the leave leave the pile of bras where they are , but just move them about a bit so that you're working more unadjusted than clasp. And then if you would re text us and let's see how you like them apples . We truly are in Greece too. corners What have we got? Interesting harmonies this week. Hi Frank Emily and Allen. I've got to be honest with you, I didn't feel that one really worked. No. You know when you're har halfway through amony and you feel I'm lost. I went too deep I'm completely lost. Just wanted to get in quickly with what I believe is the first Peter the Wild reference of twenty fourteen. Oh goody. Not quite. I had the first show whether you had something. I think I mentioned the fact there's an exhibition which we're going to go to . How can we go to that date? Who's entering? Can we get VIP tickets? Thank you. I was born yeah then we lorded us but the pit of the wild thing. They're always there will be a red cooperate event, it'll be everything . I reckon we could get comps to the water. Do you think we can? Yeah. How much are they then? Seven pounds? Just I'll get my people to call corner corner of thinking aloud corner is that what's happening? My people will speak to Pete of the World fifth . Imagine if we got freebes for Peter the World Exhibition, that would be quite a low point, wouldn't it? No I'd like it. I'd like it . I was fortunate enough to be wandering around Norwich this week when I stumbled upon a pub dedicated to Peter the Wilde. Can I say by the way in case anyone's a new listener? Peter the Wild was a feral boy who was captured . He was fairly lived in the woods and he was captured and given to George I as a gift and he kept him in a leather collar which is a bit harsh and then he was a course curiosity curiosity and then he was demoted he, left the court and he lived wherever he lived, maybe in Norwich, and he was famous for walking around with singing songs with no words and staring at fires. And eating raw onions . Oh yeah, raw onion. I always forget the raw onions. I never forget. That's the thing I remember because it just makes me think that he met a hypnotist years before that and he just thinks I love apples so I was fortunate enough to be wandering around Norwich this week when I stumbled upon a pub dedicated to Peter the Wild. The Wild Man commemorates the time when an older and wiser Peter post court years mysteriously arrived in the city in seventeen fifty one where he was arrested as a sturdy vagrant. Locals claimed he resembled an orangutan apparently. Again, Anti Ginger Prejudice . But with a very loving look in his eyes, that's what you want. An arena tang with a loving look fire just over their shoulder when they were talking to him. Anyway, he was imprisoned in the city. Oh no, different times. Different times. And while detained, a fire broke out of course . While other prisoners were released to save them from the blaze, Peter instead chose to remain and indulged in his old favourite pastime of fire watching and had to be forcibly dragged out. Today the pub is the the pub on street where he was held is adorned with the words Peter the Wild Boy mysteriously turned up in Norwich and the whole event is marked with a blue plaque . Some say Norwich doesn't get a lot right but this has to be up there with its finest achievements attached to a link for your perusal. I've looked at that link and those pictures are there. Wild now, let's go for a drink at the wild. I'd do it for the hobby. Day out tonight. I don't think he worked there. I think he was in there. I think it was a cellar, man. Do you think the blood ever said Peter the Mild . I love that. He was in the cellar, like Cockrel was in the attic. That's from Joel one hundred and twenty six who puts the acronym LTLFTW long term listener, first time writer . So that's another outmigatent Norwich. Great. I a picture of the Wall Arts Centre. You could pop it on in your tour. Yeah. And Walsingham is not far away, well known Roman Catholic shrine, which I wouldn't put in my contract when I did when Loose Women was filmed in Norwich, I'd put it in my contract as well as doing the show they had to drive me to Walsingham to worship . About that for a loose swimming , loose swimming claws. Finding quite frightening