Dog Translation Technology and Harvard Fellows

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As a national champion of modern technology, they do more than just provide a network. They deliver the connectivity, security, and expertise that power modern British life. BT. Behind brilliant things. Search YBT to find out more. Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run, and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand. Marketing tools that get your products out there. Integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time. From startups to scale-ups online, in person, and on the go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup . Frankskinners read your days it could go but two ways Well I've had an odd week I haven't I I went four days straight without um I went four days straight . Wow. And do you know what I loved it? No, I went four days straight without leaving the house except once to take the rubbish out. Once in the four. In four days. And that was obviously it doesn't take me very far to take the rubbish out. You didn't even go in your new garden. Have you got a garden? I've got a garden but it's wet. It's a bit wet. I don't if you'd I don't know if you've uh heard. Uh well I live two hundred and odd miles from me under I didn't know if it's been rainy in York. Yeah, but he's in the lowlands. It's been all right. Yeah, I um it's weird, it was like being a politician in Burma. Just stay in yeah, just stay in it. Yeah, but it was um You've d you're doing a salinger. That's what I call it when I stay in. But you can tell what happened. Well at one point a man came to read the meter and I got really quite excited. Really? They don't they don't want to make conversation, those people. Yeah oh yeah, I got a pen for him. Well that's the tragic thing about it. It was like um Michael Douglas in um Is it Falling Down when he pretends he's got a job and he gets up. It was like that, I was getting up, getting shaved, getting clean and then just sitting around the house. Oh dear. Oh see I would take full advantage and not get dressed. No, I'd have been in my gown. But what about when the meter man came? Exactly. I'd have still been in my gown. You'd have been checking out. My gown. Yeah. My words wallet ows. Madame de Pompidou. That's what you sound like. I've often thought that. Yeah. Yeah. I was so proud as well that I knew where the meter was 'cause I only moved in, you know, a few weeks ago and I'm not um I'm not a terribly practical man. No. I completely guessed. He said, Where's your meter? And I said, No, it's in her here. I had no idea. I went in and there it was. I felt I felt I felt pretty good about it. It reminded me I I used to drive a Skoda and uh it went flat, you know. Oh yeah, the battery. Yeah, and a man I was struggling with it and a man very kindly stopped and and got jump leads out and says I'll uh I'll do this I'll give you a hand. I couldn't find the battery. Uh uh. And w we looked for the battery and we couldn't he just had to go. And he just couldn't wait any longer. I was so embarrassed. So yeah, so um what so the idea is I thought maybe I should start working from home. So I've got like a top room, like a garret. You know the artist in his garret? Right. Yes. Um it's I've seen your Steve Garrett. Yeah. So it's uh it's a bit like that. I'm like um you know the wife in Jane Eyre? Hm . Who's sort of kept in the attic and then I think dies in a fire. Is it Grace Paul, I believe? Like that. Is that what she's called Grace Paul? I believe so. That's what you're like. I'm like that, I'm like the mad the mad spouse who's been locked away to avoid public embarrassment. And then has been caught talking to the meter man and the whole thing's had to be explained away. That's what I felt like. I'm just I'm puzzled as to why you didn't go out. If you were up and dressed, Yeah no well I had no reason. I'm not a person who th you know, in in East Enders they'll say I'm just gonna go out and get some air. Yeah. And you know they're having an affair. Right. Um but does anyone go out for some air? Like there is an air indoors. God my wife does that. She thinks she's having an affair. Yes. Hundred percent . Hundred percent. There's a basic I mean physics. You don't have to be an expert on physics to know that you don't have to go outside to get a unless you live in a decompression chamber, which almost no one does in this country anymore. But you want to feel like you've done I've done that. I've I've been corrected, re Grace Paul. Corrected. Yes. Hi Franken Team. Um Bertha Mason was Mr. Rochester's wife in the attic. She was looked after by Grace Paul. Can I just say I like the way that you uh put your turn onto that text at the start. Hi Frank and Team Well I um I think you should apologise to me. What if I'd gone off and someone had said to me I was a bit like Mr. Rochester's wife and I said, What Grace Paul Mr. Rochester, that's Jane Eyre, isn't it . Why isn't she called Rochester then if she is the mad wife? She's called Rochester's wife, but she does have a name, Jim Davidson. Yeah. Why isn't Burton Mason Bertha Bertha Mason Rochester though? Yeah. I dunno. These female novelists . So um well that's a thought I read um Sylvia Plath for the first time this week. Not that good. Um I received uh is this like misogyny literary corner? Is that what's happened? No, I don't I think there are many. I love that as a poster quote. Not that good. Not that good. I expected so much. I thought it was a bit six four . Oh thank. Anyway. Well she was a troubled individual. Maybe I need to adjust my aerial . Mm. Anyway, carry on. Okay. Um I got um a c a c uh Christmas present this week that arrived. That's always exciting, isn't it? Is it somebody that hung on for the January sales? No, it was one um it was one that was sent to my previous abode. Oh . So I had a bit of a treat, I had two Christmas presents and um some cards all uh mid January. Lovely. I was I was half tempted to get the trimmings back up. But I thought no well straight in the bin. But also the cards had come off the presents, you know, when that happened, so I don't I don't know who sent them. But I got some um I tell you what I got it I got some beats by Doctor Dre . I didn't even know. Yeah, Barry's a greengrocer now. Very good. Um No, uh they're called uh beats wireless. Oh yes, I'm familiar with them. Yeah, so they're a man, a value. Are they a pair um red, aren't they? Oh, okay. Well they come in different colours, I think. Oh sorry I think they'd be true . Um I was just imagining they might be white and I was getting slightly alarmed. I don't know what colour they are because I can't see round the corner of my head. But as you were lifting them towards your head you might have seen what colour they were. Yeah, it's not. Did I mention they were wrapped? Oh. Eh? So they were wrapped . Right. He's doing like a wrapping pun. No, I'm not doing a wrapping pun, but it could be a Doctor Dry. Anyway. No, I don't remember. They were just like headphones. All right. They didn't have a distinctive hue. Okay . Okay, so um there I I've never had a pair of wireless headphones before. Uh and it was quite exciting. And Dr. Dre kindly um puts uh a bit in the box all about how they work and about how um how we can listen like the musicians listen that w we'll now hear beats and sob rhythms. That um w we don't often pick up on normal headphones. So far on um on them I've listened to Test Match Special and uh Garrison uh Keyla's the uh the writer's almanac. Lovely. Um and Doctor Who Podshock. But we're not gonna mention Doctor Who on the show anymore, that's New Year's resolution. Um so I don't know if I'm getting the full um beats the benefit. Yeah. It sounds like you've listened to no beats on your beats. No and what I need is guard this question time. Yeah, but I I mean they're lovely and I love not having a wire. Uh-huh. That's cracked because it often gets caught it gets caught a bit on my buttons. I do, I prefer that. When I was working for the police I found it a nightmare. Um you've gone a bit of G, Frank, and I like it. A bit G. Well you know, um yeah me and Dre go back I saw Dre supporting um Eminem at Brixton Academy many years ago. When he was a junior doctor, wasn't it? He was a locum Yeah, and uh he was he was very fine you know for a man shouting um but now here I am uh listening to Test Match Special on these specially designed uh headphones. We got this email before Christmas but I I'm curious about the outcome so we're uh we're covering it now. Uh Christmas couldn't come early enough in our house, not for the usual reas ons, but rather because a rather whiffy dilemma has landed upon me. The eight gallons of shower gel that was presented to me last Christmas day is about to run dry. I have watered down the last bottle to the point where is it almost where it's almost drinkable I estimate that I have just one more wash is worth remaining. So the question is not whether I buy some more brackets unthinkable. Oh yeah. But I do do I have my last wash now or wait until Christmas Eve. Any help would be a Well there's an interesting point here because I think I don't think I F I buy um Diod rum but I don't buy shower things and stuff. Because people buy people buy um buy it for you. They gift you. And you don't want to buy it just before Christmas and then get a load of f free stuff from people. And the same with socks. I mean imagine if I what about a brand bought some beats by Doctor Dre and then I've got another is there not a specific beaten a specific scent that you feel attached to? No. Oh, okay. In fact I'll go I'll go this far. I um I not so long ago not so long ago I um that please don't sent a shiver through my body. I'll tell you why in a minute. Just remind me of a terrible conversation. What are you on here? What do I care? Of course he will. Um yeah, I um I hadn't I ran out of uh both soap and shower gel . And um I actually use you know those sort of fizz bums you put in the bath. Oh yeah. I showered with one of those. You didn't. That was like showering with an alcohol . Yeah, it it is. It had an element of it. It reminded me of moon dust. Do you remember that stuff? Used to get in um It's like a sweep, but it it exploded in your mouth., Oh oh yeah. No, you could be hoisted by your own sure bear. Um and yeah, it wasn't terribly successful. Oh dear. Also I'd say when I was a kid can can I ask you this question ? maybe I should come back to uh please don't. Please don't. I'll tell you what happened. I went bookmarked it, so come on. I'll tell it you know, I went to the opening night of the sound of music. Mm Um do you remember when it was that girl that won the first one of those talent shows, Connie? Yes, I do remember the redhead. Yeah. And I went along to the show and afterwards I was talking to Andrew Lloyd Webber who produced the whole damn thing. And I said, there's one thing there's one thing. Uh can I just say one thing about the show? And he said, please don't. And it was terrible. And it was actually just about uh the the um the bows at the end and I thought that the music came in too quick didn't give her a chance for her to get her full applause. It wasn't a criticism of the show. But A L Went Please don't but the way he said it please don't I mean you can imagine when he when he sneers you can imagine what that's like. Yeah. Woo, it just sent a showder . Do you think he'd had bad feedback and he was sort of saying I've had enough or do you think he'd had un universally positive feedback and he was thinking even your positive feedback I think. Yeah, but Frank, it's like someone coming up to you after a gig. You would say similar, I feel. Yeah. Can I just say imagine if I just said one of the can I just say one thing? I'd say please don't Yeah. Oh I know what you mean. Yes. When we get email jokes here. Nevertheless please don't. Yeah. May you live ten thousand years. Thank you so much. I certainly feel like France Lovial Days, Francis Lovial Days . Well, can I ask a question? When I was at school , um we used to regular if you didn't have time to wash your hair in the morning, we used to rub talcum powder into our hair and then sort of swish it out again and it I thought that was a thing women did. I didn't realise men did it in the history. In in the past. What do you think he was? So Walter Raleigh. Yes, I'm not talking about a powdered peri od. We do. What we have Do you still do it? Yes. I use something called dry shampoo. No, but that's different. I'm on about talc. The basis of it is talc, really. Um and we also used to do that thing about conditioner, you'd use that as a sort of gel. Oh really? So you'd put condition on your hair and just leave it. Oh. The punks would put soap on their hair, wouldn't they, for the spikes? Well I used to wash that's how I wash my hair. I would basically wash my face with soap and then just keep going. And do the hair with soap as well. Lovely. Uh Keith, of course, used one thousand and one carbon cleaner on his hair. Absolutely true. How many guineas did it cost? And he did it because he read that um somebody from the pretty things Peter May or something like that. Peter May, I think was that. There was cricketer. It was one thousand and one cleans a big big carpet for less than half a crown Uh people think oh that's the advert to make a cup of t oh no it isn't fell for that completely. Don't women sometimes just wash their fringe if they're in a rush and they can't be bothered to be able to do, they do. Or put a fake fringe in. Or you can buy fake fringes Yeah, have you not seen them? No, I've never seen a fake fringe. Fake fringes are great. But um How does that work? Um it's fake and it's very funny. That was a very good um That was a very good bot um that you did . Frank fringe is a great but um it's like it's you know all comedians do it. How dare you ? And they say things like I said I could but I'll I'll have to walk a bit differently. But um I don't know where I could be picking up these inflections from. No. Infections . Inflections. I used to do that thing of tying cotton to my Yeah. Do you think that's what he did? Yeah. It's like people used to put down their own pets because you don't want to pay someone to do what is essentially a straightforward Oh . We've just paid two hundred quid to get the dog the dog's teeth brushed. Might have been pulled out. You are joked. That's the most that's the most glamorous anecdote I've ever told on this show. I'd have done that for forty quid. All right. Well next time they get a bit placky I'll uh I'll put you in, yeah. I think it was more than two hundred. I mean I can fix my wife and find out the exact financial dentists, there's money in that.. Oh yeah Keeping them in the chair though. I think it's a vet that does it rather than a dentist. No, I don't want to be vet, I want to be dog dentist. They don't like a dental floss either. No, she doesn't floss. Oh I can report that she doesn't floss . She she just doesn't like the feeling. She's like me and then. I'll I'll put you in touch with some one That would be even better. The thing is they don't need to get on white 'cause why dog's teeth always look so good is 'cause they've got purple gums. Oh if our gums were dark I'll bear that in mind. No, but my brother used to use uh Gordon Moore's toothpaste, which is toothpaste that makes your gums go dark red so that your teeth look white. Oh yeah, I must uh take tips from the person who used carbon cleaner on his hair. No no this is my other brother. This was this was our Terry. What a family. Francis Radio Base. Francis Radio Base. This episode is supported by TV licensing. Your TV license means you can watch a whole range of live TV channels including BBC, iTV and Channel 4, plus you can catch up on any shows you've missed on iPlayer. Well Frank, I need to talk to you about something. There's been a lot of David Attenborough based shows on TV recently. Because as you may know, it's his been his hundredth birthday. Incredible. As an Attenborough obsessive, I can't quit the man. I went straight over to BBC I Player to watch a documentary called Making Life on Earth Attenborough's Greatest Adventure. Now I think you would like this not too much. Actually made life on Earth. God Can I tell you why I think you'd like this. A hundred years ago, you made life on earth. Is he an American uh religious figure? And apparently he said it was good. Oh okay. Um it's a deep dive into how that show was created. Why I think you'd like it is that and it had me at this, there was lots of 1970s footage of sort of BBC meetings from those days where there's women in knee-high boots bringing in coffee and papers. Oh, brilliant. So lots of men in Paisley shows going, thank you very much, Cheryl. Yeah. And lots of interviews with producers now in their seventies or eighties are all all called almost exclusively Martin and Jeffrey. So well of course, I mean Adenborough is numerous and everyone smoking. Everyone's smoking. But I tell you what was genuinely fascinating was to see how they captured all that footage before all that camera technology existed. There was a poor cameraman who said, I had to stay awake for fifteen days, David made me stay awake to catch a Darwin, a male Darwin frog giving birth out of his mouth. Don't ask me to explain the biology of that. I really recommend watching it. It's on BBC iPlayer Well I've been watching the Eurovision Song Contest and I'm damned if I just mean the final, I mean both semi-finals as well. You went deep. And um I chose Belgium from the very beginning. I absolutely knew that was going to do well and it did very badly indeed. But we do that. Me and my family, we sit and we we have our scorecards and we score every person and at the end we you know it's a proper it's an event in our house. I people are so cynical about it. And I love, you know, music of a of a more um I suppose a more respectable kind. But I don't people who look at that disparagingly I just don't get it. It's it's joyous. What did you think of the UK entry, Frank? I r I like that. I thought that was classic Eurofician. Yes. Uh a bloke singing I Einzweig Dry. It was it was uh I liked it. There was a bloke sitting behind me who kept making comments that really got on my nerves. And you're high like at the cinema, you know. And then I realised that was Graham Norton . But it was overall a fabulous contest and I have to say I was quite pleased with the winning song. You like bangaranga? I love bangaranga, none of your business. Yeah. I absolutely loved it. Did you like it? I was relieved when she uh when she overtook it. We were all relieved. Let's not lie. Yeah. I think the word that describes this year's Eurovision was relief. Yes, it was it was good. And it would have been spoilt if the thing had ended in a terrible riot . So um it's great though. It's I I think it's so easy to be cynical about Eurovision. I uh it's I wish it was on every week. And also, if you miss Eurovision and you're thinking it's no good telling us now, it's on iPlayer, which you know, with so many other marvellous things. Don't forget your TV license covers you for over 400 TV channels and everything on BBC iP layer on any device. For more information visit tv .co.uk slash pod . We've taken normal radio show isn't gonna be a very tight . It's a walk down memory lane. I know because people find new things quite frightening Paying for the dogs teeth brushing cost over two hundred pounds. I have texted my wife to find out the exact figure, but she's uh reluctant to tell me, which makes me think perhaps there's some small scale fraud taking place. Um How often do they need their teeth um doing? Um quite a while. Uh yeah, it's well we've only had the dog a few years, so yeah, just let it build up and I think I think they have to get it. Oh yeah. That vet guy, he's really keen, isn't he? He's rich as a seven . Uh but uh news just in uh if I wasn't sure I could just ask the dog in a few months time 'cause they reckon we're four months away from a dog to English translation becoming a reality. I've always arrested that. Haven't you always wanted that? I uh it would make my life somewhat easier if the dog could just turn around and go I need my teeth cleaned. Why is he gonna talk like Dennis Rodman? Even though it's a whippet, I don't think a whippet's voice is like I choose a dog then on the basis of what their voice was like if they could stop talk Yeah. I don't think they're gonna start talking, that's not the plan. No, I don't want to know then. I should just give the story. The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is hoping to raise money to uh to do a dog to eat And it actually says in the article dog to English, even though they're from Sweden, I believe. That's just showing it It should be dog to human, but they're put in the article dog to English and it's the Swedish saying we're so competent in language that even when we get a dog to speak we're gonna put it in our second or third language. Even our even our pets are more bilingual than you people. Yes. The English. It's called No More Woof . No More Woof. That sounds like someone who's agreed to give up arson . No more woof. It's scientists and that's the best name they could come up with. I know, but they're you know they're not. They're not like us. They reckon patterns discovered so far. Who the Nordic scientist Well you look dist inctly Nordic Nordic look. I always wished you were. Hm. I'd say you have a Slavonic root if I had to So the messages they're gonna be able to communicate, it's quite basic, isn't it? It's things like I'm hungry. I'll stamp that out of them. I won't allow anyone I'm gonna teach them to say other things. But you know in a dog's hungry, don't you? No, but I'm keep I'm gonna teach them to say a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips. Yeah. They're not gonna be like minor birds. They are gonna be making exactly the same sounds is the theory, but we'll be able to know. But you know when a dog's hungry 'cause he barks outside the butchers. Right. You know what I mean? You know when they're happy the tail wags. You know when they're being told off 'cause they you know when they do that thing when they don't meet your eye. Right. They look to one side a bit when you're telling them off. Yeah, okay. So you could speak dog, you don't even need this. I don't we have we have an understanding. We used to have a uh night Mrs. Weston used to come round and our dog our dog attacked everyone. If you say our dog, you are referring to the legendary Shep. I am. Shep attacked everyone who came to the house. Used to go round and round in a circle um urinating. And he used to be trying to bite their shoelaces if they had shoelaces or he'd jump up down again and just tip the fingertip with his tooth. So we did it to everyone and she used to always say, Ah we can uh you can smell our dog on me. Mhm. Or you know people say this, you do. And I always used to say when she said it, I'd repeat it back to her, um in the style of a Catholic priest doing a chant. So I would say you didn't I did. I would go you he go can smell our dog on me . And she was uh I don't know if she ever really knew why I did you did any of us know? I don't know I just figure in your street. I still occasionally do it when I'm in the house on my own, which is quite a lot, as you know. Yeah can smell our dog on I uh I I wore a sweater last week on this show. I wore you live bright yellow to live and you wore a red red rolls. Did I miss an email? Should I have known that that was gonna happen? Are we all meant to join in now? Sorry, I turned the wrong I turned two pages. Sorry for that Um I wore a sweater on this show last week that I had got. I'd taken delivery of it before I left the day before, so I wore it last Friday. I buy my sweaters online, yeah. Makes a change from the uh secret boob tube you normally favour. Yes. Um and uh and I then wore it at some point every day for the whole week, every single is that fine? Yeah, well that's a new I think I'm a bit in love with it. I think uh you a although you poo pooed um my suggestion that y you might as well get your money's worth out of a new piece of knitwear 'cause it's never the same again once it's been washed. Once they bowed what it is. You seem to be following the same rule. That could be exactly what it is. Can I say my Christmas jumper, which I also loved, has been washed this week. Not the same? Verdict. It's I 'll be ab i it feels like we're in a subutio pitch. Well the toughness of the cheap wool. If you'll forgive me for being direct about the I don't think it was cheap, but cheap wool. Yes, you can, very cheap. I'll talk to you about it afterwards. I haven't got time now. Doesn't grow on trees, does it? Grows on sheep. Mm-hmm. That's how they get it. No. But uh what's surprised me is even towards the end of the week I'm still producing belly button fluff that's got the same fabric of the jumper. And and you're wearing a T shirt underneath, are you? On on the one at home, yeah. But are you wearing a T shirt underneath, yeah? Yeah, yeah, or a shirt. Sometimes I favour a denim shirt, as you know. Can I tell you something? It's a squalid topic, I don't want to expand. But um It's belly button fluff that squalid, I don't know. I haven't had belly button fluff since I was fourteen, I don't know. I haven't not had belly button flames I'm like a machine. What is it with me that I don't get it? I don't understand why I'm still getting it. The inside of the jumper's practically smooth now. I do, shower gel cost money. Whoa. It's a good it's a good point there. Well we actually went on a little shop, Frank, last week, me and the cockerel. It was a bit impromptu. No one told me, I wasn't invited. Well it was a bit impromptu. We went uh men's clothes browsing last week. We went to do you know that shop, the Liam Gallagher Shop? Yeah. Pretty green. Yes. What I like about the Liam Gallagher shop is that I like that we call it the Liam Gallagher Shop. The mannequins that have the clothing on have got their hands behind their back and slightly cracked. Yes. And it's like um Manchester. Well I said in a very loud voice, didn't I, when I walked in 'cause there's a huge picture of Liamam. And Al's going, Oh, it looks good. Yeah, it looks good. I said, Yeah, well they don't you did. Um I said um really loud, I said, Yes, well these people can party and they don't have to get up early the next morning. That's it. A man who looked like Paul Weller, he gave me a bit of a dirty look. But what I noticed about Alan Are there people in there that don't look like Paul Weller ? What I noticed is I'm a great sleeve puller. So browsing I'm s never happier than when I'm browsing or sleeve pulling. Really ? Alan, on the other hand, he's very practical and he has a very male approach as you'd imagine to this, so what he does is I say that's nice, that could work which is how I talk about fashion. And he went, I don't actually need a court at the moment. Yeah. I said, Yeah, but I'm not I'm looking at can't you just look at it? It's the idea of need rather than want I think that's that's gonna throw you. I found we it was strange. We had a very different approach to it. Well you just thought what is the point of it. I said this is a nice jump. You went, Yeah, but I've got one like that. Well I have just ordered three jumpers, yeah. So uh I I've got an abundance of uh jumpers at the moment. You know you What's the collective noun for jumpers ? That's today's texting everyone. We've moved on from hoisting on the petard to collective nouns. A bobble of jumpers. A bobble, nice. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. It's good. Yeah, I just don't need um what was it, a jacket or a jumper. It was everything you didn't need. No, I c I would have bought something if it had uh if it had lit my taper, as it were. Okay. I was um floated my book. When I moved to us I had I had uh I had cause to throw some clothes out. And I found You got the cause to cl throw your clothes out. Well what else I do? Um and I uh what I did is I got some suits and I thought, you know what, I like the jacket on this suit now. I've gone off the trousers. Mm 'cause the trousers are a bit wide and the jacket's still fine. So it was that like Did you keep the jacket? Yeah, you know when social services separate brothers and sisters and it's it's seen as very exactly like that. I felt like that. It's very something very awful about putting the trousers in the bin liner and keeping the jacket. Well you can always do Richard Hammond with the jacket. Do the suit jacket with the pale jean with the fade jeans. Yeah with the fade did the bootcut jeans. Dragged on the floor. And the shirt outside the trousers. Floral cowboy boots. Floral QI shirt outside the trouser. Yeah, I could do that. But um if the options between that and jumping into a blast furnace I'm going I also um I threw quite a lot of shoes out did I find Because I tell you I have a this thing I I buy shoes or someone gives me shoes and ts th th they hurt me. Oh yeah. But I didn't get rid of them or do anything about it. Well you were saying this morning Frank Frank uh looked at his shoes and he suddenly had a moment of doubt with his shoes, didn't you? He said, These are horrible these shoes. Well th they are they are shoes that look a bit like I've got them on prescription. Yeah. They look a bit Cornish past does. Yeah and I'm not sh I'm not sure about that. But I I I I've got rid I really bit the bullet and choked a lot of these. And I I remember thinking as I put a pair in the bag, you've hurt me for the last time. I really there was st I realis realedise I how much pent up rage I am because I I think I s I said at the Brighton Conference I I have never had a pair of shoes that hurt that stopped hurting. You know people say uh they were a bit tough . I mean if they hurt Do you know why? It's like relationships. You are so right. And it's worse with slip-ons, isn't it, than uh laces. Yes. We were talking about dogs and I do feel we should return to that subject, but stop press because Ian has just texted in. Um you were talking about your shoes and how you weren't altogether happy with them and you felt they looked somewhat prescription frank. Mm. Ian says I work for the company who make shoes available on prescription and I'm sure you would find them very comfortable and attractive. If you let me know your shoe size, I will send you a pair to try But don't I have to go to a doctor and Evidently not. This is some sort of Dr. Conrad Murray type. Well I'm a size nine. Size nine, okay. Ian, you've got all the beats. Okay, but I don't want one of those with like the big thick sole. Oh I do. I really want you to have one of those. If we're using the radio show to get free shoes, can I just say Clark's originals or Adidas originals size ten but this is a blank one's prescription size nine, yeah. I you know I d I'm against asking for fray stuff, but I'm less bothered about that. This is a medical experiment. So so you are medical experiments. We've also had an I didn't know you could uh I feel I I feel a bit like I'm getting bro prescription drugs from a bloke in a park. I like you're making it sound like you're having the first heart transplant operation, medical experiment. Well it is because what if they're really, really, really comfortable and then after You'll never go back. After ordinary shoes just feel like Once you've had prescription you never go back. Is that right? That's what Elvis told me. Okay, Mrs. Cockrel. That's for the dog's teeth clean. She hasn't plus vat or ink. You know Mrs. Cockle said two hundred and sixteen. Yeah. Well that's very interesting because Kathleen Miller in North Shields has texted to say it cost me over six hundred pounds to get my dog's teeth cleaned. What? Is it Kathleen Miller or is it Dennis the Menace? Is her dog actually Nasha? No but chills as well. Human veneers for that. For your dog London White. Well I would I would insist my dog my godmother used to paint the cat's nails, we used to always do that. But I would insist you can do cat manicures and pedicures. You know we had a three legged cat and my mum put a clothes peg on the stump. No to balance it up. Hang on, you're telling us this now. How long's this show been on the radio? Well it's been you know, I've had a long life. It's a bit hard to cover the whole uh spectrum. I mean Is that right? Yeah we had a ginger cat and it had a the stop was didn't look like it had been properly uh finished off. I can go to the the other end of scale, Frank. Can you? Because my godmother Lindsay had a three legged cat. And she got um Lord Lindley to make a wooden um bespoke splint for the cat. That is lovely. You had a clothes peg. Wow clothes peg. Clipped onto the so not only did you have three legs, that had this tight clothes peg. And of course on the stump, pinching. Yeah, on the on the stump. And its footprints were three like paws and then one like two pronged thing from the end of the um bird's peg. It must have been very hygienic. Couldn't it have worked itself off though if it got dragged? Oh it did come off, yeah. But you know, we weren't that poor that we didn't have a spare clothes bag in the case Just take one off the line. Yeah. Yeah, that's ours. Six hundred notes for some old teeth. I have to say, if I had a dog and it was gonna cost six hundred quid to have its teeth cleaned. Here we go. Don't say it, Frank. Please don't. I I wouldn't be prepared to buy that. I would not be prepared to pay that. You can draw your own conclusions as how I'd adopt how I'd approach that problem. Okay . So um Gonna sachet back towards uh email corner. But first the text has just come in seven four zero, my dog has no teeth, so I've saved myself a few quid there. Awful . Dog's got no teeth. Saved saved between two hundred and fourteen and six hundred pounds by my estimates. That's um how often I still don't know how often they get them close to the game. Yeah. Not monthly. But three yearly, I think. Three yearly teeth cleaning. Why are you talking like sort of medieval summer? Three yearly. Once every three years. Thrice yeah. Thrice year. Thrice yearly. You want me to say thrice yearly. It wouldn't but thrice yearly would be you're correct. Oh it'd be triannular. Yeah, thank you, Frank. Okay. Triannular . The brains trust wins again. Um Ema ils. Uh Emily, you said you wanted to date someone from MIT . You didn't surely did. But I think you might have been somewhat hissed. MIT MIT . You remember the old um SRB sausage in a roll in a box. A box for me, yeah. No . No , no. Oh. S R B SRB . A sausage in a roll in a box for me. And you used to get a hot dog uh described as a sausage in a roll for those who weren't familiar with the colloquial term. In a in a wooden tray, like bounties Oh I love those cardboard trays. But you could have MIT MIT Massachusetts Institute of Technology . Oh can I just say I'm actually gonna clap that, I loved it so much. Very good. It scanned as well. I wasn't scan. Anyway, can we find out about MIT? You know that both MIT and Harvard are in Cambridge M E about twenty minutes' walk from each other, didn't Imagine that walk. The learning that's been MIT kids are famous for being crazy smart but super nerdy. Correct. Harvard students are even smarter and are kids of the rich, powerful and famous. Natalie Portman, Matt Damon and Barack Ob ama were all at Harvard. Ray Kurzweil, Joseph Stiglitz and Richard Feynman Googlem were at MIT Frank and Frank Frank won't need to Google, he'll know them. Richard Feynman. Does he play the piano? This is my theory that when you hear of license when you hear of something you've never heard that that suddenly you hear it two or three times. Richard Feynman was an answer on Pointless yesterday. No way. And I'd never heard of him. He's he's a a he's a a a sort of super scientist of the modern age. Is he? Yeah. Yeah. Well they're all going to be sci ence types.