Final Thoughts and Rankings

This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, Why pay a movie theater twenty bucks for a ticket to see a big screen adaptation of your favorite video game when you can go online for free and see a video game movie that might not make sense , but really is a ham sandwich Nebraska Toyota Camry Hippopotamus medicated ceiling fan. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Silent Hill , the supernatural horror movie about guilt, generational trauma, and what it's probably like to go to a spirit Halloween on mushrooms. With us as always is the super producer, the he freak Mat,t Lee hitting us with those hard to parse drops . Fucky, stupid cop . Fuck you, stupid cop . Yeah That was my favorite part. This is a great line. And hey, you heard her talking, I might as well introduce her . She's with us today. She's a very special pal. You know her from good Mythical Morning, Sports and her music trivia game show Musical Puke . It Gw'ysnette Stewart. Hi. Yes . Hi, my friends. You're here. I'm so happy to be here. We're gonna talk about Silent Hill. We can't wait. We're champion favorite four hour movie I've ever seen. Your favorite four hour two hour movie . It's like Ishtar, but worse . Yeah . Hey, we're gonna talk about Silent Hill, but first we're going to get to know our guest in the segment we call talk to guest. Talk to guest. So Gwen, you have a new ish music trivia game show. It's called Musical Puke . Were you a game show trivia person before starting this show? I sure am. Did you know I was on Jeopardy? No, I fucking didn't. I did. You've been on some other game shows. True, haven't you? Yeah. You were on like regular person jeopardy. I was on regular person jeopardy. Jeopardy? When Alex Trebek was still with us. Still in the land of the living. In your cap . Yeah. How 'd you do? Hey, not good . But then just letting you get there. You guys a bunch of tests and stuff. Oh, you do? Yeah, I thought it was like price is right. If you look like a weirdo, they go I probably down. Probably know something. Get behind this podium. Tell us about Guam. They actually didn't make me take any of the tests 'cause I looked like such a weird owner they kind of was brainiac probably knows a bunch of weird stuff. No, it was great . That's so cool. And then two other I was on two other like game show network game shows. One. One's called Chain Reaction. Okay . It was on in the early two thousands and then was like an off for a long time and then it came back in like the twenty twenty ten, twenty ten. I don't know. It was my all ages punk venue growing up. So that's my association like the phrase chamber. That's in Orange County. Orange County. Cool. Recently closed, RIP. Oh, I know, that's right. God, that's sad. I hate hearing stuff like that. It makes me sick . And then I was on another one . God, this is so crazy. I can never remember the name of the show. I really can't. Was it Wheel of Fortune? No. It was another . Was it that one where people had sex in the box? You guys remember that one? Yeah. No . Was it called Sex in a Box? I don't think it was called Sex in a box. Yeah, you're talking about the fuck box on top. I think that's what it was that's what it was. Right . Anyway, not remember this one. But Matt would you find out the name of the sex box show I'm gonna continue letting Gwen plug her. I was gonna say, will you Google what game shows on the channel for what? Find out what game shows. Was this the most recent one that you did? Because you did one really recently, I remember Yeah, it was a few years ago. Oh, I thought it was one while you were you and I were at mythical. No , it was before it was before Mythical. What's the biggest thing you've won on a game show? I think we won a chain reaction. I think we won it was a team of three, but we won like thirteen thousand dollars. Yeah. We like won the game. It was your top . My husband, Time and my friend Allie. Did you have to split the money? Yeah. That's too bad. I know. I tried to kill them, but they didn't I say it feels like a hard to kill. Weirdly hard to kill . Sexbox twenty. Yeah. Yeah. Did you find out the name of that show? I'm gonna be real with you. There is a show in Britain called Sexbox and I don't think it's that. Right. Maybe they had an American version. Like how we got the office, you know? Yeah, it doesn't look like there is the problem is I typed in sex box reality show and it's like here you're just getting porn out here just somebody stuck in a washing machine. Yeah that's what I call the sex box now uses the clothes anymore just for step moms to get stuck in . Anyway, that's important now . So this is cool. So Musical Puke is a it's music trivia with famous rock stars. It is a contestant. We have bands on and we do little trivia quizzes for them and it's so fun . We've had like some really fun good bands on. We had like Thursday and minus the Bear and we have some really good ones coming up too. Like Walter Schreiffles who is, I don't know that person great name. Heard of gorilla biscuits? Yeah, it's yeah. Cool Quicksand. Yes. That's great. I could tell Shannon Shaw, yeah, we've had lots of really cool people on. It really is helpful to like when you have like a podcast that's like new and not a lot of people listen to if your husband's like been in a band for thirty years. Yes, your husband and co host is a rock musician. I guess that's important info, yeah. So my husband's name is Tim Kasher. He's the lead singer for a band called Cursive and yeah, we're co hosts of this program. I think I've heard ? I didn't know that. They opened for a sex box. They worked for right before the first ramp demonstration . Oh, that rule . Do you have music trivia areas where you're where do you weak in and what are you strong in? Oh I don't know. That's the thing. Like I feel like I know what I know. It's kind of that's the way it is for everyone. We ask the bands in advance. Like, hey, like, what do you kind of know about? Like what era are you most familiar with because you do. You know what you know and then other things you're just like, I have no clue. Like if anyone asked me about classical music, I wouldn't know anything about it, but we don't do that to people. I did ask a question about the Boston pops recently and it really went over poorly. this is an Acapella group now. No like a symphony conducted by Arthur Fiedler. So now you know that so now you can be on musical puke and you'll know the answer to that question so you're all prepped. I'm gonna say I'm gonna answer every question it's not exactly wrong because I'm not saying anyone. Listen, if you're ever able to have people on who are not in a band , we would love to be on and talk about movie soundtracks. I really , really 'cause we're very we're very into movie soundtracks. We do rounds about movie soundtracks. They're good. Yeah, but then sometimes people are just like, why are you asking us about ? Like we've had I've had a contestant say like, huh, that seems like more of a movie question . Thank you for this beautiful segue. What are some of your favorite movie soundtracks? The movies will talk about the movie. Some of my favorite movie soundtracks. The first one that popped into my head is an embarrassing one, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Oh my god, I loved the wedding singer soundtrack. When I was like when I was like in high school, I was like, this is I need they got really they used to have budgets for like music and movies and it shifts streaming back in the day you couldn't just have a playlist on streaming. You have to have a that was like here's some songs you might like. Yeah, I think that is so lost on the generation after us how big movie soundtracks were to our music consumption. It was the value. You got so many bands Our records. So that's like part so my wheelhouse, especially is like clueless soundtrack and Romeo and Juliette soundtrack. Those are two of like the hottest kids of the nineties. I saw a band not super recently. It was a couple years ago, but I wasn't sure if I was going to stay for them. They're called Dimber. Have you heard of Dimber? I haven't. Dimber's great and they listed their name on the flyer or their genre as clueless soundtrack core. I'm like, I'm staying with this and it totally was. It like fucking fit perfectly. I'm like, this is anyway. I love that . Yeah, I can listen to that soundtrack all the way through. Nothing but hits. Nothing but hits. I know, I think, yeah, I think we had a round that was about clueless soundtrack or Romeo and Juliet soundtrack, and it was just like wasn't in the real house that there's a list of like people going what is the best movie Lomeo and Juliet Soundtrack is always on there 'cause it is solid. Like clueless two radio head songs on the Really? Well, I don't know if it's on the soundtrack. It's in the movie. Oh, Romeo and Juliette had radio head too. And radio had in one radiohead song in Roman and Juliette. Look at that. They were everywhere. That soundtrack is the reason why I got into garbage. Yeah. You know much about garbage. Soundtrack ban garbage . Yeah, that's such a good one. I learned can I share some music trivia with you guys? Be so fun . Okay, so I learned this kind of recent ly when I was working on a game. Tim and I write all of the questions ourselves and it's actually kind of time consuming, but we learn things so we like it . So do you know where Radiohead got the name for the album Pablo Honey . Oh, I actually don't, and I feel embarrassed. Matt's the radiohead guy. That's a source of a little bit of tension. I'm an anti radiohead am I does not like them? Yeah. Maybe like and I'm medium. Okay, yeah. And yeah, I think I'm enthusiastic, but not like they're like my favorite band. Crazy that I don't know this. Yeah, but Pablo Honey, that was kind of their big like broke out radio song Yeah, that album Creep is on there. It was late. It was like the album where everyone was like , they're just a one hit wander. And then what was Karma police on? That was on OK computer. Yeah. That's the only one I know , the name of song. So where Pablo Hunt? A jerky boys sketch. No way. Isn't that crazy? I should call it sizzle chest. Something Sometimes I learn things while we're working on the games and I'm like certainly that can't be true because you can't like you can't can you trust the internet anywhere? That's very true . Remember how it used to be like, Wikipedia is not a real source. And now it's just like, no, I think that's about the best that we have . In theory, that's still made by people. Well, my favorite source is now to go on YouTube and watch vlogs about something and then watch people in the comments duke it out over which thing is real or fake and then looking up those facts to cross reference and then I end up actually learning something. I love that. That's exactly how the internet should be used in this day and age, unfortunately. Emily's version of reading both the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal getting both sides. Either of those fucking things. No, but never will. You read full comment section replies that were just people fighting and threatening the docs each other. No, it was like so I after watching this silent hill movie which we're about to talk about, I was kind of like the there's video game references in here because there's things in this mo vie that I'm like, I don't understand why this is in here. Yeah. So I thought, oh, if I look up some of the video game lore and it was really interesting to look up some of it because I'm not a gamer, but it was fun to watch people kind of arguing about what was things we're referencing and whatever. I'm really glad you did that because I kept being like, you should look up game stuff and learn what's from the game and I never did. Yeah, I'll never play a game when I like watching other people play them and I like learning about lore of games when other people talk to me about it. Wow. Yeah. Well, hey, wonderful segue. We are going to talk about Silent Hill, but before we do, we want to let you know that this movie features sexual assault , so if that's not something you want to hear us talk about, we're going to play a little music and give you a chance to find another episode. Hi everyone, we're back. It's Free with Ads. We're here with Gwen Stewart. And we are talking about silent hill. All right, let's do a little let's do a little check in before we talk about the actual movie . Who's seen this and has anyone played the associated video games ? Emily, you were super hot , you've been hot to watch this movie for a while. Yeah., I do I've never seen it. I have watched people talk about it and I like watching people talk about the lore of video games and stuff, but I always wanted to see it and people were like, oh, it's pretty spooky. And I was like, you call this spooky? This is something else. This is another Well, some people are scared when they're confused. Yeah . And I think those people find this movie stuff. I guess I'm scared all the time . But I always wanted to see it and I find it to be interesting. I love stuff about like, you know, was it Resident Evil and this games have been around forever and people always talk about how scary the game is. So you're like, is that going to translate into a horror mov ie. And I was excited to watch this. It feels like a free with ads movie. Yes, absolutely. In many ways. Gwen, you had seen this before, right? I definitely saw this when it came out. Yeah. Like I was pretty I would have been like a year out of college two thousand a woman a tax paying woman and yeah I would have been like I would have gone to the movies to see this because it looked like pretty spooky, right ? Yeah, I mean a fun I. mean I, bet I this bet this, makes a mean trailer. Yeah, I bet this makes a great slow down song. What song would have been hot in twenty sixteen? Hollywood by Nelly. There you go. That'll be perfect. Someone picked down here. With that that quickly, though, for obvious life, that's gonna kill on musical puke. They're literally about like a town that burned out. Well, yeah, I mean , it's getting hot in here. So rip off all your skin . I mean, ring of fire is like their only that's the only drop. It's so fucking on the road. I know. I'm like, wow, they had a little budge, little budge. Yeah , budge. Blowing it on one song and it's just gonna be a bunch of fog horns So yeah, I did, I had kind of sorta seen this. I watched it as this , you know, I'm in my twenties when this comes out. So I'm going over to my shitty friend's house and we're doing bad movie nights. Haha , we're so funny. And so this is like a bad movie night thing. So, you know, I feel like I've kind of half I recognized some things , but a lot of this felt brand new to me. So you know, we were probably drinking and talking. So anyway, this was a half new movie to me. And I've played a little bit of some of the games and I always bounce off and they're too boring. Anyways , even the games the games are boring. The games are real slow and I just need to shoot some imitation. And it seems like based on what I've learned, the storytelling and the lore of this is so complicated and weird that they did they say that they did an okay job simplifying it for this movie like somewhat. Yeah , but yeah . They simplified it by not doing any exposition. They just did not throw you right in, huh? Yeah, they do in and they just kind of go like, I don't know, you're going to be walking around for a while . Matt had you seen this movie or played any of these? I had not seen this movie. The game looks sort of familiar, especially the triangle guy . Pyramid heads familiar with Hell Razor as I think a lot of the game was probably inspired by Hellrazer's Yeah , but the Triangle Guy looked familiar . I feel like maybe I played an arcade game version of this. I don't know. The whole time, I was like, I want to play Time Crisis. That was a good ass good ass you get to step on a pedal. You step on a pedal. It's fun to step on a pedal. You step on a pedal. Is there a movie of time crisis? Probably not so let's make one. Yeah, let's do it. Let's get Namco Bandai on the phone. We got a pitch. It's all pedal stuff. Yeah . Yeah. It's while you're watching the movie, you can stop watching the movie by letting go of the pedal. All right, and go get some pizza . All right, well let's talk about silent hill . We start with a hysterical woman running around. This is Rose , and she is screaming Sharon, Sharon. I hope you like that because that's half the fucking dialogue in this movie is this woman screaming Sharon And what like a assistant office manager name to give to a font that's my mom's name. So while it was okay for mom I was immediately scared because I'm like Mommy call me So her daughter, Sharon, is missing. She finds a bear fucking bad sign when you find the bear . And her daughter is on the edge of a cliff . And while she's there we see is it a hallucination? We don't know. The cliff turns into like a barbed wire factory but they save the daughter before she jumps off the cliff into the whatever and the daughter is saying something about silent hill, silent hill . Yeah . So later on , they're hugging in a field and she asks and she asked the daughter about silent hill, daughter has no memory of it, you know, total f ugue state, the girl's coloring, I wonder if the drawings are gonna turn creepy at some point, thank you . She's doing a normal drawing, but soon there'll be creepy kids drawings because this movie does that kind of thing. Yeah . So anyway, so the mom's solution to her daughter's fugue state where she wanders to the edges of cliffs is they're gonna find silent hill and go there. Crazy. Doesn't that seem like the most obvious thing to do? Yes . Go to a place where my daughter clearly experienced trauma. Don't bring your husband. Don't tell him where you're going. Yeah. Well, don't tell Sean Bean 'cause he'll die. Yeah. Sean Bean plays the dad and spoiler alert weirdly does not die in this. He doesn't and he was, I guess, added into the movie after the fact because there were production notes because they said there's no men in this movie. That's funny. Okay, that's my number one note about this movie. I was like, this is a Beckdel movie. Like this is Beckt is the Beckdel tattoo. I know. It's almost open ed. Yeah, well I guess the same pyramid head is the ultimate girl boss . Oh she ain't or she ain't with no crumbs . Yes, mamma Slay er. Slay. Yeah, no, they literally added it towards the end there, which is like why you just see him wandering around. It makes I mean, nothing in this movie makes sense, but that fact makes sense because he does not affect the story at all at all. No reason for him to be there. Okay. It's weird that they added him close. They liked the fact that they added him meant that they could add this cop character. That's what I was going to say. So the master was added too .ed Add some exposition kind of a little bit to the background of what happened. So they were able to, 'cause yes, this movie is a little confusing . So there's a little bit of dribblings of information for me. . Yeah Yeah, that and yes, everyone's acting is so weird. My favorite thing about Sean Bean being in this is that he sometimes plays an American and then sometimes he's Scottish . Here is just one of my favorite line reads that he does. Nine years ago , a baby was left outside this orphanage. My wife and I were the ones who adopted her. Just straight up like a baby a baby baby nine years old. I can think of my belly What's a baby? All I can think of when I hear his voice is in Game of Thrones when he's talking to Cersei Lannister and he goes, Your brother or your lover When I was like Yeah, yeah, the guy fucking habits. It's like the last Lord of the Rings movie come out like a year before this? Yeah, that's that's true. I mean he would have been huge gets going to see this movie. He would have been like on top of the world ostensibly. This is a crazy maybe this was shot a little bit before that.. I don't know And it didn't come out for a while. I have no idea . But yeah, so mother daughter exposure therapy that's what we're going to do. Yeah, so we're going to Silent Hill. We make a little stop at a rest stop. Did anyone see the sign with the services at this restaurant? I wrote them all down. I love them. If you wait look at the exterior , this midi's they're a diner. But this diner also has Gwen, let me know if I'm missing anything a notary live bait, tattoos and body piercing. You get all of that done at this one place Cigarettes and tires. Don't forget the right . Truly a one stop shop . I was so obsessed with it . Why take me there? You could Smitty's real Back when America was great. Google is Smitty's is real. Take me back. Too bad it's not a bar. We could add it. I know. Add it to our favorite movie bar. You could get a drink at Smithy's. Yeah, I mean, you could definitely go get it somewhere else and bring it in. Yeah, Smithy's is fine. They could be YOU BETH. Oh yeah. You can do anything you want at Smithies clearly. Yeah. It's all yeah, Smitty's is annexed from the United States . Smith's an independent nation sovereign. Burning man fucking twenty four steven at Smithies. No shirt, no shoes, extra service President of Smithies. Yes . All the girls have to be naked. All right, Mr. President . So yeah, outside Smitty's , she Rose gets accosted by a lady cop who is dressed all in leather . So I can tell she has a bangin' body . She has like her helmet and glasses on, but you could tell full face of makeup. It seems like she's going to a bachelor party to say like there's a bunch of bad boys in here who are double boys . But then I started looking at stuff for the video game and she looks just like the character in the game. I didn't get that in. She was a character. So there were things in this that I kind of went, okay, there's these slutty nurse things that just must be in the game . This hot cop that she must be hot in the game and so I just every time I mean all cops are beautiful Especially this one . Oh and bucksome . Oh buxom, that's the better be for this particular cop. Oh yeah. You can get out tickets for motorboating? Anyway, this is they do have live baits . They have live bait. They in your motorboat. Whatever. What happened at the end there Sink of it What am I doing? Jugs? Sure. Motorboated into just straight up eating . So anyway, the hot the hot cops after she becomes a literal hot cop later in the movie. Ouch . Anyway so they they get to Silent Hill and and it's like it's this kind of cloudy town with ash raining down constant ly. Well, they almost hit a kid. Oh yeah, they almost hit a kid. Right. So she almost hits a kid in the street that causes her to like bump her head when they wake up full silent hill. Yeah. Silent Hill looks pretty cool. Yes , it does. I think the people who like this movie are like drawn to the style . Yes. Some of it looks cool. And just particularly when they get out and it's a bunch of ash, looks kind of cool. It looks like it was fashioned off of the cur rent state of my ceiling fan blades. Sick. If I turn if I turn on my ceiling fan, it's just hold on shit. Just real quick, just real quick. You know, there's a sting that I've been dying for a while when the kid is in the road so I felt we have a we have a stainless for people being in the road. That's right. Here it is person in the road and ye he accidentally gets hit by a car. There we go. It's been I forgot about that stink almost a year. I've been like, come on. Somebody almost get hit by a car trope. Apparently it's barely in anything So yeah, so they're in Silent Hill and she's looking around. There's an air raid siren. She sees somebody kind of strung up with their guts out. That's pretty scary. And then a bunch of baby zombies attack them . And they disintegrate for some reason randomly stuff just happens in this. I don't know why they disintegrate. And that's when we get the ring of fire drop. So she's kind of on this day night cycle. So she'll periodically pass out and wake up and then the air raid signals that things are about to darkness comes and then goes away in these cycles . It's like demon periods. I guess demon demon menstruation. I'm gonna be real nasty for a week. Yeah, exactly. When she woke up after the spicy babies. She was in this super cool bowling alley and I was like sick . I don't know might be a nice place for a long weekend. Yeah , unwind . So yeah, so John Bean is looking for them. He goes to the garage, apparently he needs a will notorized and a septum piercing and he learned about a coal fire that closed down the town. So that's he's like, I got the silent Hill got a coal fire closed it down. It's a closed town anyway . Back in Silent Hill , Rose and Hot Copper looking around for the girl, a big torso monster code. How would you I'm calling it a torso monster. Do you know what ? I think I don't know what they're it's just got there's legs but no arms and no neck and no face and he's got venom. It spits like like it's acid or blood or something. Yeah . Real video game ass characters . Totally yeah. This is just a cool that's it scared the shit out of me kinda. And then like the acid spitting thing, I was like, oh fuck, this is gonna be action act.ing Yeah. Yeah, some of the monsters, the monsters do look like the CGI is bad, but bad ish way. Yes. So, you know, I think it looks it could look bad, but kind of they lean into creepy and sometimes it works. It looks cool. I think it looks cool. What's realistic about any of this, you know? Sure. Yeah, I didn't know what that. Have you ever been to West Virginia? I know where this is set? I didn't know this before. It is, but they keep saying Taluca Lake, so I'm like, wait a minute. Very confusing. How many times they say Taluca Lake means a lot to Angelinos. It's a neighborhood in our S Fernando Valley where you go to where you go to eat at the Bob's Big Boy. Taluca Lake is just nice and suburban . I know I was confused. I was like, Damn, is everything set in California . And she goes, West Virginia, and I'm like, okay . But yeah, you don't have to make anything look real like a condom man, a man who just looks like he's made out of condom with legs. Make it look like that I don't know. Sure . Anyway , so she goes into a gross Oh, there's a witch lady. There's a witch lady who's screaming at them and talking about Alessa. Alessa gives Alessa. A performance? Yep. Have you know guys seen cats? Yeah, the movie? Like either the movie or the stage show? It looks like Grizabella . Yeah , Emily, she does look like Grizabella. And then it's crazy that there's a character called Christabella in this movie. I was like, what? Who's Christabella? She's the evil priestess the main battle. That's so crazy. I didn't even know about that. I know. Connections. Yeah. Connections. It is. But Grizabella is the one who 's silent hill Yeah, we're gonna go to Silent Silent here Bill Superstar Yeah So okay she goes into a creepy bathroom. We see another gross body with wires. And so she sees the gross body and her immediate thought is let's reach in the mouth. That's the most fucking video game logic shit. I know that's part of okay so I saw that is part of like the puzzles that happen in Silent Hill. They put things in gross places . Yeah. And that's and of course when you're playing the game, you know, well, they put that there because something's there. Right. Yeah, but she just knows and maybe maybe that's the way to watch this movie is like she knows she's in a video game . I was going to say 'cause otherwise it's just a woman indulging every bad impulse she's ever had in her entire life , reaching the mouth . Oh, I want to slice this painting open. Well, it did say double dare you and then like pointed at that. I miss that. That makes a little more sense. This is in like a school at this point. And it's like so we're kind of there's maybe the little girl that she was gonna hit with the car who looks a lot like her daughter. Sharon Sharon, Sh Chararren ah. I was gonna say Sharon . Oh my god, have you got to find me, Mummy? I'm in Silentier Mummy That's perfect . I just kept thinking about Stan Marsh's dad, Randy. Oh , South Park 'cause her wife was Shadow Sharon? Sharon? I was thinking about Sharon. Why did you take his pants off? Sean Bean is like the action version of Kenny, isn't he? Yeah. Oh yeah. Sean Bean . Can we get a t shirt of like Sean Bean doing the many days of Kenny? And he's got the little hoodie on and everything. Bean I mean I mean, passed You would make a million dollars on tea public with that. Yes , would. My God. Maybe that's how they sold this to Sean Bean. She's like, Hey, you wanna be in this video game movie? We won't kill you. I know okay. All right, this thing. Last man standing. Lift throughout the whole thing and do fuck all. Do you just sleep on the couch? I don't have to have a wife sleep like a baby . Anyway, so okay, so once she gets the whatever the blue key for level five out of the mouth of the guy . Things start going crazy. Reality starts melting down. Bugs start going everywhere. And that's when we see our boy , pyramid head. He's's he buff , he's got a steel pyramid for the head and he's got a bunch of swords. Okay , he's electric. I think listen, I think spoiler for Hunkwatch. Anytime pyramid heads on screen, I'm like , this guy's got one hundred percent this kid's got jazz baby. Give him a five picture contract . I want to see him in a drama. Right. I want to see him in a comedy . Yeah, no , he is great. It was the one time in the movie where I felt like I was getting what I paid for . You know what I mean? Because I'm like, what is this game? I don't understand it. I don't understand I get that you're looking for Sharon , but what is happening? Yeah . So boring. Her name is Cheryl in the game. I don't know why they fucking change that really funny . I know. I don't know what that is. And I guess in the game of kids named Sharon's kids name. We're gonna take it . Supposed to be Sean Bean, who's in the main part of the game, but like oh the movie should have done it, but I guess the writer decided that there was so many maternal themes . Right this. In like story that he was writing, he goes, it makes sense for it to be women. I like that the writer made one decision. Right. I mean, I would argue that this movie is full of decisions . I think I think they made a lot of them. Did you guys know that did you guys know that the guy who wrote this movie wrote a little he co wrote a little movie called Pulp Fiction? Yeah and won an Oscar for it. Are you fucking serious? He did. Wow. And then he killed a guy with his car and went to prison. Whoa. Wow, I mean, he was drunk driving. A lot of stuff. That's the jeez. That is wild . Oh man Listen peaks and valleys peaks and valleys a life a life is full, isn't it? So anyways, pyramids after him, he's swinging his sword. Looks pretty cool . Um subscribing the plot of this makes me feel crazy I don't know it's really hard to explain the like the pyramid head guy. I don't know what supposedly all these characters are represent ations of something that happened in the town. I guess I'll say one thing. The town , this little girl that she's like going to get hit with a car, blah blah blah , there is this town is full of like fanatic religious fanatics set people on fire and there's like a vengeful spirit that created this whatever. So all of these things, the monsters are supposed to be representations of something. Yeah . And I don't know why you know how to explain Pyramid head? I cannot. Okay, that's a question. I can try I can explain the other guy who was in the, you know, she had to get the thing out of his mouth. Oh yeah, what's his deal? I'm going to go ahead and warn you the stuff we talked about maybe you know disturbing. Okay , so there's this little girl character that you're gonna find out about who was treated bullied and treated like shit in this town full of religious fanatics and she went and cried in the bathroom and there was a janitor in there who took advantage of a little girl . And so then when this little girl you know, I guess got powers? I don't know. She turned him into a monster and now he's like this thing that terrorizes everyone else in the town because she just wants everyone in the town to be tortured. They all they all tortured her. So I do think they deserve it. They do. They totally deserve it. And seemed like a bad town. Bad town. But yeah, they were witch burners this town supposedly. We'll get into that, but it's like was this little girl a witch or was she not a witch? 'Cause it certainly seems like she is a witch. Yeah. Like every talking about the weird you should have done a better job burning this little girl . They did it. They did up their witch burning. Apparently these for m witch burnings as much as this town Yeah, look at it. Let's get into that part of the movie. We start to this town is starts to be full of people who look comparatively normal to the melting babies and condom people we've seen. Just quite dusty. They're very dusty. They're very dusty. And they're all wearing like black kind of veiled clothing and stuff , but yeah it's and there's a lady who they find who's looking for supplies or something and her name's Anna and then something very horrible happens to her . Yeah, so Anna and they're saying a lot of very just kind of generic like cultty person thing like there's the witch she's impure, burn the witch, burn the witch, burn the witch . So Rose and Hot Cop they're like, let's bring her along and she's been bringing her along is so funny. Nice very video game because it's probably like you have to bring her along because she knows things exactly . Yeah, if she dies and you have to go back to the beginning it's an escort mission . So yeah, so then we kind of learn about some of these culti people that were there and then they all run to like a church. The town starts melting again when the siren goes off. Where were these people before ? What are they doing out of the church? I don't know . How would you leave the church? I know. Too scary out there . Maybe I don't know, whatever. And so they start running to the church, pyramid head comes back , grabs the Anna Anna or whatever . And does a one, two, three , like you've never seen rips off her clothes , rips off her skin, and then throws the skin against the door . now It was so shocking. I liked it. You know, I'm like, I love this movie. I'm not made of stone. That's rad. Yeah. It's crazy. It really does have its moments. It was like it's such a kind of softball like movie to getting really fucked up because to me it's like this looks like a PG thirteen was it PG thirteen can't it can't be that has to be rated R because that was I mean, I've watched some scary I love scary movies. Watch quite a few, saw backrooms recently and saw the this was so fucked up . It was crazy. And I think that's part of like I think there's there's a couple of reasons why people are into these movies. And I think that's part of it. I think extreme gore, people like that stuff . Well, anyway, hey, so we're kind of like coming on to the conclusion of the movie. Why don't we do this? Let's take a little break and we'll come back for more Hey, it's John Moe and I host Depress Mode and Sleeping with Celebrities, and I'm here with MaxFun member of the month Kara Barnett. Hi John. It's great to talk to you. We appreciate your support, Kara. How long have you been listening to the show? I've been listening to Depressed Mode since the first promo came out with Patt Oswald. I've been listening since the very first episode. Now, Kara, as our MaxFone member of the month, you'll be getting some prizes here twenty, five a dollars gift card to the maximum fund store, a special member of the month bumper sticker, and get this, a parking spot at Max Fund Headquarters in Los Angeles just for you, just for a month or so. Well, that's so exciting if only I lived in Los Angeles . But I got my eye on some stuff in the max one store. Cara Barnett, thank you for being a listener and congratulations on being this month's member of theth Mon? I hear the member of the month promos all the time. And I can't wait for my friends who listen to Max Fun shows to hear me on the radio because I haven't told any of them . Support the shows you love, including this one. Check the show notes for a link or go to maximumfund . org slash join. Hey, we're back. It's RevAds. We're here with Glennet Stewart. We're talking about Silent Hill . So there's these fanatics. And then Rose , Rose gets her mission that her daughter is in the basement of the hospital . Yeah . And so they go to the hospital , a bunch of coal miner guys beat up hot cot pretty bad. You think she dies? Well, they the Grizabella or Christopella who's like the latter kind of like jellic rip off the skin. But no, she's like, we'll help you get to this place, but you'll probably never get out alive . So Christabella like brings her there and you're like, oh, okay, I guess these weird cult people are going to help them. And then she like hands her back her locket , sees the picture of her daughter. Yeah, and goes, it's the reincarnation of the demon. Yeah, Alyssa. Alyssa, and these names . And by the way, I do want to mention the Nokia phone necklace. Oh my god , me too. Like, so Rose, the mom has this like lanyard with a nokia phone she's wearing all the time. Listen, if you get bored, you want to play snake. I know. I was like Jesus would love this so much. Well, I was like, that was my first phone. It was kind of cool and this was two thousand six. I had that phone. It was it was the phone every one had a Lanyard. What the fuck, mom and dad? I didn't even know like Nokia Lanyard. Yeah, her carrying it I'm like, they're gonna use this phone for something. They don't. They don't. She just wears it the whole movie. It calls Sean Been's character s very times. Well no, there's at the beginning too and it's the jumbled like he can sure maybe he can kind of hear it but not and so at the end when she calls him it's jumbled again and lets you know they didn't make it out. I know but, that's like literally how making cell phone calls was . And it was like, oh, did she have unlimited text ? I bet you the out of out of network calling for Silent Hill is insane. He's going to get that hill and be but yeah no so there's they look at the lock and they go that your daughter and they go they trying to stop her. They're trying to stop her from going now to get the daughter because they're like, you're going to bring back this witch demon that they set on fire that was a little girl. So yeah, so she's going into the basement of the hospital and that's where we see a giant flock throng, what do you call a group of haunted nurses? Nurses. The haunted nurses. So they have no face , they have very cleavage outfits . It sounds like the perfect woman in America has no face and huge gugs. And they're doing kind of the thriller dance. It's like yes, they're modern dance songs. My favorite type of woman is silent, like silent hills . They got two silent hills right there in the front. Oh get a squeeze on them sir If you're in trouble hit the double D button. Am I right to put a quarter in there contin ue? I think I will . This is great. We're having fun. We are having fun. This is good. to do a quiet motorboat. So you just idle . Oh no, I'm running out of gas . And so and so she has to kind of make her way so the light activates the zombie nurses. So she has to turn off the light and kind of make her way through them while they're like shamine and shaken. This is a pretty good scene. Yeah . This is pretty cool . What was the point of them? I was going to say 'cause it's actually not that hard for her to get around them because they just start attacking one another . Yes. And even the Christabella kind of told them that they are attracted to the light. Yeah, you're gonna need this to see . So I don't know what to tell you . So she makes it to the end. We see this flash of light and then we get just a huge Lord Dump dump at the end some stuff is clear . So the Lord dump is this. Let me know if I'm missing anything. Oh, and this is kind of cool. It's it's shot with the film grain so it makes it look like the seventies, the plot's kind of like Rosemary's baby. It's a fun little reference. Yeah Okay, so in the seventies , this town of Fanatics thought that a little girl who had no dad was evil. So they took her to a hotel and burned her with a complicated swinging apparatus , but it swung around too much and knocked over the fire , which is what burned down silent hill. Yeah . This little girl did not die. She just became an overcooked hot dog. Yes . No. And it gets grabbed and before she was burned, she was assaulted by this janitor , which made her pregnant. She gives birth to a baby which is which is Sharon . I missed this part. Think this could be not I already have that is not that this is not that so there are three girls. Yes, well there 's the three entities so I did a little bit of digging on this because this confused me. Yeah . So there are a couple of school of thoughts on this. So we've got . Oh my . Thank God . But the one that I believe is true. So there's Sharon the good part that lives inside of hot dog. What is hot dog's name again? Alessa. Elsa . And Elessa, there's bad. Why do you call her the hot dog? Because she looks like a hot dog and a grill too. She burned. I remember and she's real like kind of greasy, glassy. But yeah, so it's like she's covered ASA Alyssa like the hate and anger and fear within her, which it sounds like she's a witch it created this like entity to visit her which is like the evil Elessa Dark Elessa. They were calling her in the caption. So we're assuming that Dark Elessa is this like evil entity or whatever that visited her and then harvested her hate and rage and then split off all of her goodness into another being that then they put somewhere else so that she didn't have any goodness in her . And then the rage and everything turned into this like disease, magical like vortex that sucked this town into this hellhole. Yeah, so they're in like another dimension. Yeah , we see that when Sean Bean is like is like they're kind of in the same place, but he can't see them . So so yeah, and then okay, so we know that and then the little but I'll say your explanation makes a whole lot more fucking sense. I was going to say ' thatcause makes sense why they would show that the janitor thing at all. I was like, huh? I know it's just like you're trying to be edge lord. You're just showing me fucked up stuff. Yeah. At some point they say to the crone woman, this is your granddaughter. Oh my God because that was her kid who got burned anyway. Okay, I see, I think that maybe that was the original idea and then they backed away from it because it was too fucked up, maybe . Because yeah, this happened in the seventies. We've got our little Sharon now. So how does that make sense if they split off ? I don't know. She would have been born yeah. So exactly in nineteen ninety. Yeah. Thanks for something explanation. Oh yeah, looked it up. Oh yeah, look what it is it's according to Wikipedia, it's a bad movie. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. That's what happened. So the entity enters Rose . She goes into the church where the fanatics are. They stab her but that lets it out shit gets crazy. So the girl the burned girl in the bed raises up out of the ground with barbed wire tentacles kills all the cultists. The main cultist goes up through the legs, tree from evil dead style, rips her up with barbed wire pretty fucked up, terrible CGI, but very fucked up things happening. It was pretty gruesome. But they burned the cop lady too. Oh, they burned the cop. That's right. Now is funny. Remember when I said that? I'm good. Thank you, Emily. That was the part, that was another part of this film that I was like, it has some redeeming qualities because that was really great. And they used that , I guess they improved on their swinging apparatus because now they use ladder. It's a ladder and it 's a vampire talk about hot dog roasting. It really was . They like just lowered her on this ladder. It was really fucking gruesome. This movie did not give a shit. Yeah. Yeah. So they anyway, it's it's over. They're dead and so they go they go in the car, they drive away from Silent Hill and they get home and you think they're going to run into Sean Bean and happy family blah blah blah but you can see that they're in a world of cloud and ash and he's in the real world. So they're still trapped in the other dimension and then you get a long shot of plants for some reason in the movies over. Yeah, well also we know that we know that Sharon is has the bad . Yeah. Adeless inside of her. Oh , there are two more movies that maybe explain that. The second movie , which we had a wonderful time watching the sequel to Ouija, which was really good. Okay . And the first movie had like a five percent. So Silent Hill, I don't know what the Rotten Tomatoes is, but the second movie is an eight percent, so you better believe it's gonna be trash. Yeah. It's gonna be worse. And Sean Bean is in it. And Sean Bean's like to do another one. Deaths, what is yelling ? And Jon Snow is in it with him. They're both in it unofficial game of Thrones prequel. Wow. Yeah, so we got to watch that eventually. Yeah, safe. Oh, God Whatever I suggest a movie, it's bad. That's not true. That's not true. Yeah , you have lots of good suggestions. That sounds like sarcasm I meant it. Matthew. Just not this one. All right. Thank you. Hey, that's the end of the plot. We're gonna tell you what we thought about it, but first you know we're gonna do the hunk wise Gwen for you, we like to talk about the hunks of the film . This could be someone you were into, someone you thought to give a particularly great performance , I already tipped my hand . Pyramid head, there's no one else. Yes, daddy, pull off my skin and throw it against the wall. Put my clothes first. Do the clothes first? I know who mine is. That was Officer Thomas Gucci . Officer Thomas Gucci . He's your main man ifest. I thought he was gonna be in on it. I thought he was gonna be another you can ultimately you can another here in the flashback making this more fucking confusing. So he is some kind of spirit guide from the seventies. Anyway, but now he like, yeah, he definitely got like some kind of promotion on the force because he wears like a suit now. That's right. So he's showing Sean Bean around. Yeah, yeah. And it's Thomas Gucci . Yeah, he's an actor called Kim Coates. Okay. That's a character actor's name that I know in my head by heart because he's in a lot of lifetime movies. There's one old Westerns too. He's in, he's in a lot of stuff. This guy is working , but he's in one called F riend of the Family that I think came out in like two thousand five that I highly recommend everyone watch. Your lifetime movie fan. I love lifetime movies . We need to do more lifetime movies. Oh, he was in tons of anarchy. Yeah, he's what it is . Yeah, he's in some good stuff. He's in some questionable stuff, but the fact that his name was to keep that same help insurance . Yeah. Girl . No . In West Virginia, Thomas Gucci, I loved him. Emily or Matt, any thoughts on Matt? I want to know your . Mine is gonna be a lady cop when she's burning to death . Before that, you're like, I don't see it . Before that, I was just like, What's the point of her? And then when you just see her melting , you're just like, oh, all right . I'm sorry, guys. She's honestly, I'm having like a milty . I'm having a hard time choosing between pyramid head and the lady cop , but I'm gonna give it to the brick house of the Nokia brick phone was the hunger hung about a brick at it. I like 'em thick. I like 'em thick and juicy. Snake on that thing. Oh yeah Letting it all hang. I'm gonna try all of the ring toes in public. Drive people crazy All right, that's the hunk watch. We're gonna tell you what we thought of the movie when we come back Hello, this is Alden Ford. And Mujan Sofari. Two of the creators of Mission to ZIX, your favorite improvised obsessively sound designed sci fi sitcom here on the Max Fun Network. And the news is we're with an all new mini series set in the Zix universe. The young old Durf Chronicles. Yeah. Well, Durf find his own killer before it's too late. Ooh, to find out how that question could possibly make sense when you just have to tune in. Yeah. And as always, it's ambitious and labor intensive to frankly absurd degree. Indeed. So if you are looking for a little break from your own galaxy, we would love for you to check it out. That's the Young Old Durf Chronicles. Search Mission DeX, ZYX and your podcast app. Or on maximumfun. org. Keep it fresh We're back. It's free with ads. We're here with Lynette Stewart. We're having fun talking about Silent Hill We're gonna rank the movie, but first , some very exciting programming news . Next week will be the start of a very exciting theme month for us . Emily came up with the name. I'll let her do the honors. What is next month? July months. Yes, July Yes, so in this month, we will be watching movies from library spons ored streaming services. There's a couple of great ones. You can watch them with your library card , no ads. Don't explain how the name of the show doesn't make sense . It doesn't matter. Our podcast will just be free with sure. Free with card. Free with card. Free with card. Yeah . So this is kind of cool. We love libraries. Libraries get their funding based on use. So if you're using one of these streaming services, your library's getting money , baby. They're really cool. We are going to be watching canopy and hoopla . So if you don't have your library card, fucking get it. Get yourself some free movies. This is going be to tons of fun Jew library. Great name, Emily. And yeah, and of course go to maximumfun. org slash, join. That's how you support the show, and that's how you hear all our bonus episodes. Maximum Fun. org sl ash join. Okay we're going to rank the movie. Gwen, you're our guest. We will let you go first. Can you rank this movie on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials? That's the amount of commercials you would watch to watch this movie. Yeah Screaming loud commercials. Is that good? No, I mean, I think it's very honest and I respect it. I went straight to letterxbo with this one and it got one star. I'm sorry to say. How many stars on Letterbox out of a potential ? Five? It's five. Okay, one out of five. So that translates to about three stars on the free with ad scasle. I was going to say so I explained this to you guys earlier, but I fell asleep the first time I watched this movie because it is it is literally two hours long, which is too long . I can't keep looking at the thing going jesus how long is this? Cra czrayzy long , so I had to re watch it. When I re watched large chunks of it, I did like it more than one star, but not much more. Okay Emily, what'd you think? I kind of was surprised by this movie. It is a mess. It is a total mess, but I like anything with weird horror lore with little creepy girls. I don't know, I got a thing for it. There's a lot of that. And I'm gonna give it a five just how shocking the violence and the horror parts of it were, I was kind of impressed. I've seen we've watched a lot of horror movies. We loved watching Predator. This was more gory and fucked up predators. I was kind of blown away by it. So I'm gonna give it a five because of how like crazy it was. Matt, what'd you think? I hated this fucking thing. It's one of the worst things we've watched it's worse than Repo. It was worse than Repo. Repo at least felt like you could watch a guy's insane stream of consciousness . You know, he's like this movie it felt like let's pump out a video game movie that is so boring and dry that you actually miss that Josh Whedon fucking like oh so that happened like they should have said so that happened. Straight up, I was like, okay, you do need one guy in there or girl, whoever, someone needs to be in there a pyramid head. What's going on? I'm wondering what's going on. So I'm giving this a two because I like the pyramid head and I like once you got your skin ripped off. Yeah. There's one thing I want to say though about the, you know , things people say like that happen . They said sharing a lot, but then also everything's gonna be okay over and over and over. And I'm like, people don't mean that . Like I don't think like I don't think our parents ever meant it. Everything's gonna be okay. No, it's not. We're all going to die. Not everything's gonna be okay. Nothing's gonna be okay. So I hated that Why are hospital bed girls gonna kill us? Yeah, there was like when the lady was the cop was on fire on the ladder or whatever, she's like, It's got to be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. I was like, no. How many times could parent say that and why? Anyway , there was also multiple in the eyes of a child, mother is gone. No, in the eyes of a child, mother is gone. Yes, so that's where this line comes from. So if you watch the movie, you're like, oh, this is everybody's saying that all the time . Okay, yes, I will go. I mean, I like this movie has fans and it has two sequels. So like people, there's one from this year. Yeah, one sequel to this movie came out this year. Anyway, straight to the one remaining red box . Yeah, there's one red box and a gas station inventor and all your silent hills . Do they have tattoos and piercing and silent hill silent hill three . So yeah, I think the some of the gore stuff is fun. Some the look of it is fun. Like it has that and like I can see why the YouTube people love it because it's a puzzle box and people like people like the puzzle box element of it. Yeah , I didn't like it. I'm going to go ahead and give it a three. I think you can like enjoy some of the clips of this and like kind of get the fun of it without having to watch all the stuff in between . But I see you out there silent hill fans. I respect you . Go watch your go congratulations on getting two sequels to this go on with your bad self. Go on with your bad selves . Gwen, thank you so much for joining us. You guys, I had so much fun. This is fun to hang out with you. Do you want to tell us a little bit more about mus ical Puke, where we can find it and about anything else you have going on? Yes, so yes, mostly Musical Puke at the moment. We're really excited about it. It comes out every other Tuesday, which I recogn isiz not helpedful, but you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts. And also on YouTube, we put video up on YouTube so you can watch it. Is it a reader? You can look