World Cup Football Innovations

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So cut the bulls bend Advertise on LinkedIn. the network that works for you Spend two hundred and fifty dollars on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a two hundred and fifty credit for the next one Just go to linkedIn d. com slash broadcast That's linkedIn d. com slash broadcast Terms and conditions apply. Host unforgettable backackyard Barbecues with savings from Whole Foods Market. Get the good times going with made in house chicken or pork sausages and ready to cook kebabs for hassle free flavor. Grab tasty flatbreads and their new balsamic chicken salad in the prepared foods department. Keep things fresh with organic red cherries, strawberries and peaches at their peak And stock up on bug sprays and suncare must haves. Make your summer sizzle at Whole Foods Market. Hello I am Andy's Ultiman. This is the News quuizon Sorry, I wrote this bit of the show on WhatsApp sound silly, but I didn't think anyone would need to listen to it. Anyway, they learn. On we go. welcome to the newsQiz Hello Lets meet our teams and Wl to Mck, the Iminent World Cup O teams our team. It's coming home versus team. Yes, but it's got loads of homes these days and we'll probably go to one of the homes in Spain or France. On team Coming homeome, Pianalli and Desere Birch And on team, it's probably staying out, not coming home. It's Alice Rebecca King and from Pod Save the UK, Coco Kan And we're going gonna start the show by looking at some of the stories we're leaving unresolved in our newews quiz twenty twenty six summer Break Cliffhanger spepecial. Firstly, for Coco and Alistair, whose appointment might or might not, by September, cause the collapse of the Starmer Gvernment This is Peter Mandelon. This is the Mandelen Files, which is like the ex Files if no one involved was sexy. Unlike the exX files, it seems to be going on and on forever because they didn't really work out what the ending was going to be at the start. Correct. I mean, pololitically Coco as a sort of political commentator. this story just doesn't seem like it's ever going to go away. It doesn't seem like it's going to go away. It is interesting though because The polling and certainly politicians I've been speaking to say when they're out campaigning, people don't seem to really care. The average person on the street is not really that fast. But nonetheless, it is a scandal within the Labour Party So this week we had the latest release of the documents and because so many of them were missing because of police or security concerns, I mean all the press had to talk about, all anyone had to talk about were the WhatsApp messages, just really gossipy, super snarky. I don't know if anyone's gone to a girls school, but it's all a bit girls school energy on these WhatsApp. And that's sort of all anyone's talking about unless he was smart enough to use disappearing messages It's really low grade gossip, I think. the quality of it, it's nothing you can get your teeth into. L Mandelsen said of the Labour Party, something like people's heads are broadly in the right place, but you need more people who can execute. I mean probably yeah, I probably wouldn't have put executing heads that close together But for me, my main problem with Kirirst ararmer is not the position of his head. it's that his head is the exact size and shape of a bag of plain flour. And for some reason, not a bag of self raising flour. I don't think he resembles a bag of self raising flour at all. but a bag of plain flour is all I can see when I look at him Why is everybody tripping over the disappearing messages? Like every episode of Law and Order, they can find the messages. somebody at Meta has an axe to grind and is willing to leak to the stories. They can find these messages. It's annoying because what you want when you get a bunch of leaked messages between Mandelsen and government figures is either that he's saying, I love Kiristama. he promised me the world. everver since I met him on that island or something interestingly. Oh, look at that. But it's all been redjected because he's under criminal investigation. And also as well as that, it's just criticisms of labor or the government saying, oh yeah, they don't really seem to know what they want, really. And you think, well, annoyingly, he's bang on So at most we can say about him O, Rude. Did you know he said that? Behind your back? Yeah. And it's just again, like he said, Coo's snark The Snark files. And he refused to hand over his phone, Mandelen. I think on the grounds that he was in the middle of a hot whirdle streak. S seems very reasonable. He got divot in one apparently. so you know say what you like about the guy. He knows wor on. But I think you're right, they've released so much. We're on the second one thousand page volume. and I think they're taking a leaf out of J R R Tolkien's books because obviously I'm sure we all know Lord of the Rings was inspired by his experiences in World War I which went on far longer than anyone thought it would. It was kind of boring didn't really have any women in it and P all of that into Lord of the Rings. And I think that's where they ne Tolken hatater trying to start a round of applause. It's not being picked up by the hobbit Dwbs in the rest of the room. Some critics of various members of the government are trying to find toe holds by criticising them for sending Peter Mandelson sort of a friendly hello on his first day as ambassador, as though The professional thing you want from the government and its ministers is to text their colleagues. I hear your mates with a nance I'll batter you if I see you. It emerged this week that Kir Starmer, Rachel Reeves and David Lamy all use disappearing WhatsApp messages. What el do you think the Prime Minister disappear. Sense of hope. General optimism. So Peter Mandelson said that the UK would never regret making him what He sent a creepy letter. to a really creepy letter I think it was David Lamy. sent., David Lamy. And the phrasing I wrote it down, something about if you made me the US ambassador, the phraseing he used was, I would make sure you never regret it. Which could just mean you'll be long dead by the time I think you'll never have any views on it. You should never go into business or into politics with a man who speaks like the devil in a parable or like he's about to ask you to sign a contract in blood. Well, it's so creepy because he even ends the letter basically for his bid to be the ambassador saying, If you're up for it, so am I Which sounds like a text you get at three in the morning from a phone number that you've labeled, Do not pick this up under any circumstances And it was a handwritten letter as well, which is very sort of boomer coded. You know If he had been a millennial, it would have been like, I could be the ambassador. No worries if not. No big deal. Your choice in the end. Shrugg in giff. No I don't want to show that I want it Yes, he said the UK would never regret making him ammbassador to the USA. So that turned out to be quite an incorrect prediction f to say. So what I want from my panel now, I want them to own up and tell us the worst prediction you have ever made So one of the things that I do, I marry people like I'm an officient or whatever, and I've married like six different couples. and like the first ones that I married, they just like will not speak to each other. They're the only couple that have gotten divorced that I've married. I'm so upset. But you can't really make that kind of prediction when you're marrying people, can you? I'm just like, I'm gonna go ahead and put one hundred on these. Yeah, what's the worst prediction you've ever made I'm just finishing up a stand up tour and I planned it on the basis that trains would run and be on time. I've come to regret that several times.. Well, being a patriot, every single year I predict that England will win the World Cup. All right I know it's not every year That's real hatotis. Yeah yeah Alista? Yeah, obviously I'm not perfect. I've been wrong before. know You put your hopes and dreams into someone. know you put a lot of faith into them, you think they're the one, you know they're going to change your life. They break your heart. Do I regret getting a tattoo of Nick Cleg? No, because I learned something from the experience, you know Well, yes, on Monday, more than fif thousandteen hundred pages of government documents relating to the appointment of Peter Sand Mandelson the UK's ambassador to the US were releasase. That's the equivalent of a whole Bible, or perhaps more appropriately around a hundred copies of the unpublished Roger Hargreve's mister Mound book, Mrter Obviously Inappropriate for public Office ight, Pier and Deserate, we are ending this series with the Middle East situation still unresolved. Will they all live happily ever after? We'll let you know in September. But in the meantime, who had a barney with a benjing? Oh yeah, okay. This is Donald Trump. Correct. This is yeah. So he literally had the audacity to get on the phone with BB Netanyahu and be like, everybody hates you because of this. He's like they're all talking about how much they hate you and how nobody's believing the hair and why are you so orange? No, it's definitely about you, BB.'re like it's crazy for one person like the most hated person to turn to the second most hated person on earth and be like, this is clearly all your fault. This is for you If I got a phone call from Donald Trump about how crazy I was, That's a moment for quiet reflection. Even if I don't agree in the moment, I'll think, H You sounded very confident this. Is this a good thing? Is this' making global Is diplomacy more accessible for ordinary humans? It's really thrown me. a spat between Netanyahu and Trump. It's like finding out that EczMa doesn't get along with Thrush. I don't know where I am with this. It's like finding out that the four horsemen of the apocalypse are splitting up to pursue solo careers. OK, is it good I'm baffled. Yeah. It was funny as well, because you know you see the quotes and they're quite clearly rude and angry. And then you hear that the Israelis are briefing out like, Oh, it was a very amicable conversation. Everyone was getting on swimmingly. and it does make you think, okay, I knew that that government was on another planet, but this is the evidence. Yeah. I mean, at some point, he just screamed at him like, what the f are you doing And at that moment, I was like, are you sure he just didn't turn on the front facing camera and actually take a good hard look at himself? But I mean, he's got to be a dream for anybody who has young kids right now because you can legitimately turn to like the worst child in your family and be like, you could be president one day. It's strange turning on the news and seeing the US involved in a war in the Middle East without us. It's It's like seeing your ex on holiday on Instagram,. There's a part of you that thinks, oh, that looks exciting, and then you remember how badly it ended the last time you two went abroad Yes Trumps Stiltskin has continues to break new ground in his world record longest continuously running single tantrum. He' reported to have a furious conversation with Benjamin Netanyahu, after the Israeli Prime Minister once again declined the invitation to change his spots And it's followed further stries by Israel on Lebanon, which were not in Trump's plans at the start of the war. Now I know that. Well, because two things. One, he didn't have any plans at the start of the war. twoo, because I've pretended that he does have plans and I've got them here. And his plans at the start of the war were one, kill the baddy. Two, bask in the adulation of a grollingly grateful planet and three, melt down all the gold in the world to build a five hundred meter high statue of self. So at the end of that round, it's now four point all Right, O next question can go to Coco and Alistair. Why in the not too distant future might someone come up to you in the street and say, Can I swap my puffin for two of your hedgehogs and a dolphin? That happens to me all the time anyway. I think this is because we're getting rid of all those boring humans on the banknoteses and we're replacing them with adorable British They've come up with a shortlist, but there's going to be a public vote, but you're not allowed to put silly ones in because they've come up with a shortlist, whichich I think is a shame because I think what we need is if we're going to have animals on the money, there should be animals that reflect modern contemporary Britain, like a fox, but it's smoking a vape. Well like maybe it's possible to find a racist swan I'd love to flip over a five pound note and go from King Charles to just a heap of rats. Would that be possible? Well they still have the inspirational quotes on the back because I definitely want to see a king salmon in the quote of like, I declare after all, there's no enjoyment like swimming upstream until your heart almost explodes and then having sex and dropping dead immediately. In Latin Yes, yes,. It was the subtext of a Jane Austin quote that as well. Yeah, so yeah, Puffins, dolphins and hedhogs are amongst the eighteen creatures. The puffin, the bird, that penguins dream of being. The dolphin, the Darwinian love child of the shark, the Jetsky and the Geiger counter The hedgehog, of course, the species that simply had to get into S andM to avoid extinction the Guardian's description of the shortlist, it said mammal options include bottlenose dolphins and red foxes. and I'd just love to see the phrase mammal options on a menu. What mammals do you have?? the whole list was Barnw, kingfisher, hedgehog, Red foox, Bumblebee, puffin, seea eagle, haare woodpecker, curlly, Pine martin Grey seal, basking shark, Bottlose dolphin, butterfly, dragonly, frog and salmon, which was not only the most exciting table of ingredients for an invention test in the history of Master Chef, but also said the shortness for the Bank of England for its new banknes. Six mammals, six birds and six miscellaneous other things will fight it out for the right to adorn the new five, ten, twenty and fifty pound notes. After a public vote, the top twelve animals will compete in a special reality show in which they fight to the death until only five survive The top four animals will feature on those notes and the other one will be automatically entered into the Labour leadeadership race.. for one can't wait see Andy Burnham take on a Eurasian curl you. Many have complained about animals replacing great national figures on our bank notes, but we live in a cashless age now. When I spend ten pounds on something You know, I just think about Jane Austin The winning wildlife will replace historical figures, including mathematical genius and Nazi codes smmasher Alan Turing, anotherother kick in the teeth for Turing from the British establishment. He was arrested for being gay, who was chemically castrated by the authorities and now as a final insult, he is being kicked off the fifty pound note to make way for a hedgehog. Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first didn't live up to the heyight Like those five dollar roses at a gas station or a second hand piece of technology that breaks in the first ten minutes. Marketers know that feeling We optimize for the numbers that look great. impressions reach and react that when they don't show revenue, Well That's a not so great conversation with the CFO LinkedIn has a word for that Bullpan Now you can invest in what looks good to your CFO LinkedIn adds generates the highest roWas of all major ad networks You'll reach the right buyers because you can target by company, industry, job title M cut the blls spend Advertise on LinkedIn the network that works for you two hundred and fifty dollars on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a two hundred and fifty credit for the next one 's go to LinkedIn d. com slash broadcast That's linkedIn d. com slash broadcast Terms and conditions apply Host unforgettable backackyard barbecues with savings from Whole Foods Market. Get the good times going with made in house chicken or pork sausages and ready to cook kebabs for hassle free flavor. Grab tasty flatbreads and their new balsamic chicken salad in the prepared foods department. Keep things fresh with organic red cherries, strawberries and peaches at their peak and stock up on bug sprays and suncare must haves. Make your summer sizzle at Whole Foods Market Moving across the Atlantic, desesit and Per Donald Trump, has made a bit of a habit of being as wrong as possible about as many things as possible, but why might he soon be absolutely bang on the money? Oh God. Because he wants to put his big dumb ugly stupid face on a two hundred and fifty dollars bill. because everyone needs one of those. I mean, that'll be the price of one gallon of gas by the time he leave. So I guess we're gonna need that. Who can afford that? It's the wispy hair. It's that picture that we've all seen a million times. That one on It's the mugsot one he want The one where he's kind of glowering at the camera in a sort of this is the last time you raid my warehouse. Technically at the moment it's illegal. I don't think that's to stop, but it's eg to have a living person on the money. Do you know why that is in America? There's a law from eighteen sixty six. that you're not allowed to put a person on the bill because they issued a five cent note and the guy who worked at the treasury put himself on the notes. Isn't that glorious? just they wanted to do a note honoring Clark from Lewis and Clark, the explorer. But there was a guy who worked at the treasury who was just called Spencer Clark. And so he put his own face on the m. In what I assume was his last day on the job All we need, we just need someone at the treasury to change their name to Donald Trump. Yeah And we could do the funniest thing. I was looking into the story, I learned because I didn't actually know this that a nickname for American notes is green back. So presumably this would be the first orange back. Yeah In front and sides ye yeah Alice, I'm afraid you lose a point for bringing a fact to that. I mean, look, if the trade off of him being on that buildill is that he's no longer alive, then I will rescind him just. I' take it whole breath It's worth it. The legal loophole his lawyers are going for is that he's dead on the inside Now what do you des two hundred fiftith anniversary of America's founding eror? What do you think would be the best way to market most appropriate way? I think that they've been trying to market the way that things were done originally by trying to bring back slavery. I mean, I just feel like why not do like a sort of retrospective like we love parades with floats Like And we'll just do all the things that America's done, most of which are crimes over two hundred and fifty years, you know, Thanksgiving started with a crime. But we could just keep going through all the different things America's done is like a float. I would love to see, you know, I mean, I would hate to, but I would love for America to like actually own up to everything it's done over two hundred fifty years as a celebration. here's big balloon of the internment of Japanese people or like you know what I mean? like just a catalog of all of our stuff. I know the question' like the best or most appropriate way, but I feel like this fits. Yes. Of course, I mean, the proper way to deal with your sort of historical awkwardnesses, as we know in this country, is simply never to talk about them. I think maybe you have a combination of all the American art forms So you have a hot dog eating contest in a comic bookstore There's live jazz It's hosted by a stand upp comedian and if you lose, you get shot. If you win, you also get shot. I think it's cool that America's having a closing down sale, That's very exciting. I am a little bit disappointed with the acts of their books because it's like Vanilla Ice, someone from Milly Vanilli and the rapper Flow Rider, which I gu sounds cool to Americanars, but To me, that just sounds like a correspondent on a local news program. Baby Otters are attracting crowds to the Burnley Wetland Center. Flo Ryder has more. I can't take him seriously as a rapper. Also, do you think when they booked that, they just put vanilla into Google and found every artist? They were just like, look, it's for our Republican president. We just want the most vanilla acts possible. They got milly van million vanilla ice. They might just typed ice into a search engine I guess, across the pond, the US Treasury working on a special commemorative two hundred and fifty dollarars bill featuring Donald Trump's face Expensive as toilet paper goes, but unquestionably worth it concert to mark the j fifetth anniversary of the biggest mistake in American history has been beset by withdrawals of musical artists who didn't realise the entire thing might be hijacked as a propaganda tool by Donald Trump, which is Touchingly naive to assume That's what seeing the three little pigs wearing a hashtag not all wolves badge. Right, at the end of our banknotes round, it's now nine to Alistair and Coco, ten to Pierre and Gesere Yeah, and Desate, what has been predicted to have an eighty percent chance of coming back by September Peter Mandelon. You'll find a way This is mean I feel responsible for this being from the American Southwest because we talk about this all the time. I think it's El Nino. Correct. It's like this horrible weather pattern that makes the winds insane and like moves everything around so although like it gets hot in places that shouldn't be super hot and there's fires all over California. I mean, there's always fires all over California, but like extra ones And they call it the child Like El Nino's like the baby, right like the child, right? you know, So like I'd hate to see the dad. I looked this up because I thought it was an unusually cute name for a horrible weather formation, but it means like baby Jesus. It's hitalized. And so Super El Ninho roughly translates as Jesus Christ. This is appropriate.. I thought Super El Nino was Spanish for the big number nine But Elin know, the celebrity weather system that quite literally takes the world by storm is going to take the world by storm. againgain. Scientists have warned that the return of El Ninia will cause global temperatures to rise, quotes off the chart I mean, come on, the first warnings about climate change sparking more extreme weather were decades ago now. Surely by now, we've had time to reduce its impact by getting a bigger chart. Some weather Bffins have suggested that twenty twenty seven could be the hottest year on record, but I think it's time to reflect and try and keep this in perspective. Yes, things on Earth are getting a bit toastier than a normal, B ideal and C commercially advisable and D necessary. But even in the so called hottest year ever, the average temperature on Earth is going to be around fifteen sixteen degrees Celsius, equivalent to a nice spring day early in the cricket season. So let's keep in perspective. Can anyone here tell me what the average temperature was last year on Venus. Well, let me tell you, it was around four hundred and sixty degrees Celsius and yet somehow it's little old Earth that's got the problems. How does that work out? And all that carbon dioxide, look can' put so much carbon how much carbon dioxide we've got in our atmosphere at the moment? zero point zero four percent. You can barely bloody find it when you need it. Just the other day, I needed some carbon dioxide. I wanted to make my drink fizz I couldn't find anything. Loads and loads of nitrogen, quite a lot of oxygen, sodle carbon dioxide had to have yet another flat cup of tea. Venus, ninety six point five percent of the Venusian atmosphere is carbon dioxide. but you can't criticise Venus, can you? You can't say anything against Venus these days and why can't you criticise Venus Because Venus is a lady planet. and you say anything these days, can you? Without a woke looby jumping down your throat? Right, Well at the end of that round, it's now level at ten points all, which means we have to go into our tie brereaker. Next Friday marks the start of the twenty twenty six men's FIFA virally mutated capapitalist F feVver Dream soul draining Joy Sapping spport. Its sorry World Cup. Ticket sales have reportedly not been as healthy as expected in part because fans want to have some money left over for food, clothing and shelter for the rest of their lives FIFA have announced a new offside technology which will reduce the time it takes for fans to shout at the assistant referees to zero point one seconds from zero point two seconds. But what one change would my panelists make to football in general or the World Cup specifically best change wins points U M understanding it It's a change I would love to see. Now, I mean, honestly, from the bit that I've imbibed of being in this country, it's pretty fun and it's very fast, which I appreciate. It's just like ninety minutes, get it done. Not a real sport. If It's less than a working week, it's not a real sport Eone how to improve football ten goalies one player. it's time to swap around and have a kind of one v one duual aspect in the middle of the pitch. And then even if you get past the guy a sort of human wall of our tallest and largest handed citizens like that C su. I wondered what would it be like if the goal was really big, like massive goal. You'd get loads more gold. Which is like the size of you have to kick it off the end of the pitch. P think things's interesting. You get other people to come on and they could all have a go? That's the best bit of football, isn't it? It's the goals.. So how do you have more goals Or the other way would just be to have tiny, tiny goalkeepers, but micro probbes in goal, Alistter. I know you're exident footy experts. No messing about. I think each player should only be allowed to use one foot It's not called feetball