Demerits and Gold Stars

Lemonder. This message comes from Harvard Business School Executive Education Now is the time to invest in yourself and change the world with your voice Our programs connect you with faculty at the forefront of their fields, introduce you to a global network of leaders, and help you step into your full potential The next chapter is yours. Let us help you write it. Apply today to accelerate your future Learn more at hvs. me slash accelerate HBs. m slash accelerate Get business done with the new American Express Graphite Business Cash Unlimited card, with unlimited two percent cashback on all eligible purchases, unlimited five percent cashback on flights and prepaid hotels booked through American Express traravel Oline, and a flexible spending capacity that can grow with your business, you'll have the confidence to keep building. Apply today and earn a welcome offer of one thousand five hundred dollars cashback After you spend fifty thousand dollars in qualifying purchases on your new card within the first six months of card membership, terms apply. leararn more at go.mx slash graphite. Hello and welcome to Happier A podcast where we talk about ways to be happier. Today we'll talk about why you might make a new tradition, Oxymoron alert, and we will return to a happiness stumbling block that we have discussed before. but as a happiness bully, I return to it I'm Greten Rubin, wrriter who studies happainess, goodood habits, and human nature. I'm in New York City and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister Elizabeth Kraft and Elizabeth Happy almost fourth of July and almost happy two hundred fiftieth to the United States. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer living in LA. and Gretch, I have to add happappy Birthday to our mom whose birthday is on the fourth of July, whichich is an excellent day to have is your birthday. I would say. It's a very celebratory day to have your birthday Yes. Before we jump into this week's episode, we have a few updates. Leah said, I always enjoy your travel hacks and I wanted to share one of my own. A few years ago, a friend introduced me to the Atlas Obscura app. You can put in your location when you're traveling and it will show you strange off the beaten path things to see in the area. interestnteresting art and architecture, caves and castles, haunted houses, and lesser known museums. A lot of the recommendations are paranormal or spooky places, but not all of them On my last trip, I found an art installation in a local library of dioramas of storybook scenes made with wax figurines. It was a cool quest. I also realized it's something you can do in your own neighborhood to be a tourist in your own hometown. Oh, I love this. And you know this is reminding me of Elizeth is that I've been meaning in Los Angeles to go to the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Y you. and we haven't done that. Yes. We've got to do that The joke there is that there is no Jurassic technology. So it's kind of an imaginary museum, which I'm dying to see Okay, another thing, we are coming up on episode six hundred, which is just absolutely more mind blowing. And we would love to do a round upp of what are some of the ideas that have really stuck with people? Yeah. What is giving you the biggest boost? What has really resonated with you? Yes. There are so many things, Grch, and I feel like we never know what is going to resonate with someone. It could be something we Don't even think is a big deal, but then for someone else, it makes a big difference. Now, we were just talking about how look behind you every time you get up. Yeah. who knew that was a groundbreaking idea. but so many people were like, Ohh, that saved me from losing my phone or my wallet or whatever. Yes, it's a very good idea. That is a good happiness act. We did not expect that that would be one of the big hitters when we talked about it. So let us know at podcast at gretchenmoment dot com or on social media Plus it is so fun to see how people are designing their summers If you have created a summer theme or you've used the desesign Y summer tool in the Happier app, I would love to see it. If you follow me on Instagram at Gretchen Rubin, share a screenshot of your summer plan using the hashtag, Design Y summer. I'm going be sharing some of my favorites. I would love to see what you're doing. And if you haven't designed your summer yet, there's still time. We're just at halfway dayay.. Go to happappiercast dot comlash summer to get started. Yay So this week's try this at Home is to make a new tradition, which of course is an oxyoron. There should be no new tradition, You can make a new tradition. At some point, every tradition has to be new and you can do it yourself. So Gretchen, you have made a new tradition, I would say, out of celebrating the fourourth of July. Yeah. Now we always celebrated the fourourth of July just the way most people in the United States do. plus it was a special, as you said, it was a special holiday for our family since it was our mother's birthday But I decided I was really gonna build this out. So I've talked about how we got our weekend house which is on a lake. And so it's a very summer fun type of place And what I realiz is that july fourth is a really good family holiday if you have older children because it's often a day when everybody gets off work and often the whole week or at least half the week is lost. And so even if your kids have a full time job or they're doing something, it tends to be a time that they can clear out becausecause our house is so set up for like, let's go kayaking, let's go swimming. let's go for a walk outside, let's grill It just felt like a really good holiday for us. and it was like a new thing. Yeah. I always thought in the past, we should have made more of it than we did, but we never did. So I just thought the fourourth of July is this really good opportunity to make something of it. So what did you do to build it out and what are the traditions, the new traditions? So I really thought about all the different aspects and how I could do something. So I thought, okay, special music. So I decided that Fourth of July music is Dolly Parton, Sussa Marches and the G American songbook and the soundtrack to Hamilton. Very fitting. And maybe I'll throw in some American folk songs because you know how I just I just realized how much I loveved American traditional songs That kind of thing. So that's what's playing I put Jaws on the TV just on mute, but just playing Jaws because Jaws is the iconic summer fourth of July movie food it's very traditional grill food. so burgers and hot dogs, s'mores also something or maybe more than one thing that's red, white and blue. So it could be salsa Sour cream blueberes and well, yeah, or blue tortilla chips. That's red white and blue kind of chips. But then yeah, blueberry strawberries on a white cake for our mother's birthday, they say. So strawberries and blueberries with whipped cream on them. So looking for red, white and blue foods. tryrying to have sparklers. I bought some napkins going for the red white and blue theme But this is a thing where Scheduling is life and if I want this to be a thing, I have to make it into a thing. And I decided that the thing that was going to be the highlight of it or the signature moment was going to be that Eliza, Eleanor, Jamie and I would all jump into the lake at the same time No matter what the weather. You know, now I have this sweatsuit because I don't like being cold and it's hard for me to get in the water. But so now I have the sweatsuit. so I'm much more enthusiastic about that. I decided we needed like a big thing we did.. Yeah. coming up on the third time. so it's not like I've really executed on this successfully many times But you, Adam and Jack are coming, our mother is coming. My in laws are coming, my in laws live very close to us We were there last year with Dad. He was there and we have many pictures of him from that. These birds We're building a nest. We were talking about it. I don't know. It'll be another milestone without dad there. Butes I hope that this will continue to be a big family holiday for us. I think it's a great idea, and Gretchen. I'm just thinking you're gonna have to start getting some decor. That's the next step, the decor. I've cutten some Yeah, and there's probably a lot to explore there platters and tablescapes and whatnot. But you know you don't have to do it with the fourourth of July, obviously, and you can make your own. And one of my favorite stories, I know I've told this story before, I talked to a woman who had a really big family. I mean lots of brothers and sisters. And so they realized that they were having a hard time all getting together and they really liked it when they were all together But with one thing or another, it was hard to do. And so what they did is they have Thanksmas Thanksmas is a weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas and that was their family major holiday. And the spouses liked it because that meant that a spouse's family got Thanksgiving or Christmas because This family wasn't claiming their share of that holiday. and it meant that they were traveling on a weekend that wasn't as busy as Thanksgiving or Christmas. and everything was just easier And then they could count on it because there's always a weekend between those two dates. And I just thought, this is great. They sort of thought, well, what is the holiday need to hold for us? And let's figure out our own way to create it. And then we have this really important value of all the brothers and sisters being able to be together, even though they have families of their own, and that had gotten overly complicated. But you can also create a new tradition within a framework. For instance, we've started when we have the family at Christmas at our house playing the game left right center which is a very easy game that anyone literally from three years old to one hundred years old can play. It's very fast, it's very loud. And I think that's a fun tradition to have. Yes Right And it elevates the tradition because it's like, oh now we're going to play left right center. You gave me that Elizeth. We' played it. it's fun. Maybe we'll play it fourourth of July too. It's definitely more fun the more people you have, which is a nice thing because many games aren't like that. No, that's true. That's a very good point. Just as you can do a mini tradition within a larger tradition, you can also do a tradition within a family with maybe not all members. And I was talking to a woman who wanted to have the tradition of a yearly two night mother daughter trip with her and her two daughters now that they're older. I'm thinking a lot about empty nest traditions.. And so the deal was the daughters would pick the place And then she would pay for the hotel or whatever. But my suggestion for her was to pick a holiday weekend and commit to it, like president's weekend or like the last weekend in April or something to make scheduling easier. because as we always say, scheduling is really hard. And so that's why something like fourth of July or Thanksmas is nice because you know when it's going to be and you can kind of plan around it rather than having something like, well, we don't know when we're going to go and we don't know where we're going to go that starts to get hard to execute on. In my observation, it's better to nail down one thing at least which is where are you gonna go or when are you gonna to go to make it easier to keep that new tradition going. so that it becomes an old tradition. And I think you also have to be aware that some new traditions will work and some won't.. So try it out, see if everybody enjoys it. if it resonates. Yeah. And then I think if there's less pressure You know, you'll be more likely to try different things and see which ones you like. Exactly or let it evolve as you see what's working and what's not working. So far, july fourth is working but as I said, its haven't done it that many times So let us know if you do try this at home and how making a new tradition works for you, what is a new tradition you found, or how have you put a twist on a tradition to make it new? I am particularly interested in traditions and rituals that people are creating in the empty Nest transition, the way July fourth. It's a tradition that works for people who might be working Your children might be gone at summer camp for fourourth of July for years, but fourourth of July becomes a different thing. when you have older children, or maybe you don't have children at all, but it's a fun tradition anyway. Instagram threads, TikTo, Facebook, or drop us an email at podcast at Gretchenreubven. com. O as always, you can go to the show notes at happiercast. comot Coming up, we've got one of our treat yourself like happiness hacks, but first a spite Between diets, workouts, and all the conflicting advice out there, it can be hard to know exactly what works for weight loss. And for many people, keeping weight off can be even more challenging than losing it in the first place That's why weight loss by Hers now offers access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP one medications that includes the Wagovi pill and the Wagovi pen. With Wov at herdbs, you can lose up to twenty percent or more of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate appetite, eat less, and keep weight off. Ready to reach your goals? Visit for hers dot com slash happier to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's f R heRs dot com slash happier fourHersot com slash happier. Weight loss by Hers is not available in all fifty states. Will GoVi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, will gooVi clinical study information and restrictions, visit fourHers d. com This message comes from Harvard Business School Executive Education Now is the time to invest in yourself and change the world with your voice Our programs connect you with faculty at the forefront of their fields, introduce you to a global network of leaders, and help you step into your full potential. The next chapter is yours. Let us help you write it. Apply today to accelerate your future Learn more at hBs. me slash acccelerate. That's hBs. m slash accelerate One thing I've learned about summer dressing is that the pieces you love most are usually the simplest ones, the things you reach for again and again because they're comfortable, versatile, and always seem to work That's why we keep coming back to Quintince I've been especially loving their European linen pieces. They're lightweight, easy to wear, and somehow look polished without requiring any effort Quinince makes elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton, and washable silk, but without a traditional markup Their linen, pants, dresses and tops start at just thirty two dollars and their soft denim and organic cotton sweaters are perfect for cooler summer evenings I also love their fourteen cararat gold jewelry, simple pieces that instantly pull an outfit together Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quintince dot com slash Gretchen for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Qu INcE dot com slash Gretchen for free shipping and three hundred sixty five day returns. inces dot com slash Grechen Okay, lists without really meaning to, we have started a series of treat yourself like, treat yourself like a toddler, treat yourself like a factory. Treat yourself like an Olympian. And this week's hack comes from somebody who has yet another suggestion for a treat yourself like. Yes, this comes from Mary Anne. She said, I asked my friends permission to share this one with you When my w' friend Sarah was single, she sometimes found herself dating someone that wasn't a very good fit, but things in the moment were goodish or she'd find herself compromising on things she had previously known were important to her She said she found it hard to break up with someone she might be enjoying spending time with over these things, even though she knew deep down it was not sustainable So instead, she often would imagine her future imaginary daughter. Would I want this for her? Is this relationship worthy of her? She found it easier to stand up for herself when she treated herself like her own daughter What a good idea. What a good addition to the series because again, think of yourself in the third person, think of yourself in this other role. What would you think how would you treat that person or what would you want for them? Love it. Yes, greatreat one Okay, Gretch, it is time for a happiness stumbling block. This is something you are passionate about. It's very practical stubbling book. Okay, I've talked about it before. I will talk about it again and I've been thinking about it lately because times are tough. A lot of people are feeling a little bit strained financially I'm such a happiness bully on this and it is this You have to get out of your storage unit It is bonkers how much money is spent on storage units and how many people have storage units. okay? Now one of the questions that we pose and I have to ask myself this question all the time when I'm procrastinating about something is Do I need more time Or do I need to make a decision This is a really helpful question with storage units because Let's say you're doing a major house renovation. So some of your furniture is in a storage unit. You would say, do I need more time or do I need to make a decision? You would say, I need more time because once this renovation is done, I will move the furniture back into my home and then I will be out of my storage unit. I need more time But if you're thinking, oh, I inherited a bunch of stuff from my great aunt and I don't know what I'm gonna to do with it. so I've stuck it in a storage unit Do you need more time or do you need to make a decision? In that case, you need to make a decision And the fact is this storage unit is just a huge business. More than twelve percent of American households have overflow stuff in rented storage spaces. It is a sixty billion dollar industry. Wow. It's just a lot of money is going into it. Now What the research shows is that people turn to a storage unit for the four D's, right Downsizing, decluttering, divorce and death So that's how you have this stuff, perhaps But they say what keeps you in there is crisis indecision laziness or selective forgetfulness. That's what keeps people in there for a long time. People just simply forget about the fact that they have them and they are just spending so much money. In fact, more than one hundred thousand units are auctioned off every year because they have been abandoned These are just people who just forgot that they had it I had some friends where this happened to them. It was on autopay. They had stuff in there that was really important to them, but they lived in a New York City apartment. so they stuck a bunch of stuff in there. They moved and somehow, you know how was a credit card. they got rid of a credit card. they didn't get a notice. They had no idea what had happened. They never got contacted. And by the time it occurred to them, like, wait, where is that stuff? It was long gone. and they're just sick about it So you just really want to watch out. And they see why they're abandon its financial hardships Divorce extxtended hospitalization, untimely death, imprisonment or people Just forget about them, especially when they move. So if you're in any of those situations, stop and say, okay We're going through a divorce, Is there a storage unit that we've forgotten about or whatever it is Because again, they can take up a lot of money. If these things are on autopay and you don't realize it and you're not paying attention, And then you hear all these stories of people who pay for it for four years and then they finally go there and they end up donating or tossing everything that's in there.. And they could have just done that long before. Well, and there's a famous story where Paris Hilton didn't keep up with her storage units payments And she lost items that eventually made the next owner ten million dollars. Wow And I think she owed something like two hundred and eight dollars on it.. So here's something that I thought was very interesting. It turns out that the larger the unit the longer the customer stays. Well, that makes sense because people don't w to figure out what to do with stuff and the more stuff you have, the more you don't wan to figure out what to do with it. Yeah. And you're just like, I don't even know what's in there now, right? Now, a lot of people also have stuff in their garages. Now, recent studies suggest that twenty five percent of people with two car garages per in them at all. They just use them as storage. Now, but the advantage of a garage is at least you're not paying for it. Well, Gretch, I have to admit, we are in that twenty five percent. We use our garage for storage. Can you park one car in it or no cars? Well, one car. Yeah, we could park one car in it, but it's largely used for storage We've done rounds of getting rid of stuff, but I'm sure if we start it over, there's a lot more that could go. Well, if you do have a storage unit, because sometimes you have to have a storage unit, just have a plan for when it will all come out. Don't put it in there and say like, well, when the dust settles, I'll deal with it, give yourself a date or give yourself some kind of trip wire where you're like, okay, when this happens, then we're going to deal with it and we're going to plan to be out of it by X,, Z date. That's why if you use it for something like a renovation,, you need the furniture, so it's going to come back out. One thing where a lot of people, I think get into this issue is that they become a recipient for somebody else's stuff So your parents leave their house, they leave a bunch of stuff to you. you don't know what to do with it and there's so much of it. you can't just stick it in your basement or whatever. So you put in a storage unit, but that's when you really need to say, okay, I don't want to just leave it there Indefinitely. And of course, it can be very emotionally painful to go through it or to let go of it. to say, o, this piece of furniture was really, really important to my mother, but there's no room for it in my New York City apartment. so now I have to get rid of it. That's really, really painful, obviously. But it's going happen sooner or later. and if you do it sooner, you just get it off your conscience and off your to do list and off your debts Grech, this is reminding me of a story reccently. I was at someone's house playaying Majang and I heard from across the room somebody talking about getting a storage unit that they were thinking of getting a storage unit. and I flew across the room. Okay I said, donon't get a storage unit. That is a terrible idea. Good. And I started talking about all these reasons why and I was just like, don't do it. And she really took it in. She was like, oh wow, I didn't know all that. That's a really good point Hopefully I stopped at least one person from The storage unit trap Yes, it is a trap. Well, I'm glad you channeled me un an intervention. Now, obviously, again, there are somet times when it's inevitable and it can be a huge bonus and benefit and help to have that. But I've just heard from so many people in the end, it was just a question of sooner or later and by waiting by later, you just end up in that trap So anyway, that is my happiness stumbling block passion. And always best, you know, we say reduce, reuse, recycle and reject if we don't acquire the stuff. Yes. Sometimes you can't help it. It's given to you. If you don't acquire it, then you don't have to keep it anywhere. Exactly. Well, and now for a listener, question, we got a great question from Katie, for you, Elizabeth about your summer of No worry. Katie says, I love the idea of summer of No wororries or at least less worry. Elizabeth, I have shared your idea with a number of friends and we are all on board. We would love to hear you talk a little bit more about this. What is your plan? How are you going to do this? How will you measure if it was a success? To start, I have changed the face of my Apple Watch to oK My plan is that when my family comes to me with something good or bad, my first response will be Okay, okay will remind me that it is a summer of no worries. I'm looking forward to hearing more. So Elizeth, what do you have to say about no worries? First of all, listener sent me some bracelets that say don't worry, be happy. So I am wearing those very often and looking at them does remind me to set aside worry. Good. And I'm really just trying to be mindful of it I'm talking about it a lot, which helps because when you talk about it, it stays top of mind I was also helped by the fact that shortly after I declared my summer of setting aside worry, Sarah and I kind of had a good streak career wise. You did I felt like it was connected to that once I let go of my worry, then good things happen. So I feel like I was rewarded, which really helps Do I still wake up in the middle of the night worrying? Yes, but I do try to tell myself, okay, wait a second, I'm sitting here worrying. Let me stop doing that. Let me set it aside because that's what I said set aside worry. Yes. And it is helping. And the other thing I'm doing is I'm trying to distinguish if I start pondering, ruminating, worrying is I try to distinguish am I planning or am I worrying? For instance, if I'm thinking about the trip we're taking and I'm like, shouldould we go here? shouldh we go there? What should we do? what day? et cetera? And then I go, o, I'm worrying, but I think, no, but it's got a point to it. I' planning. Yeah. I'm going somewhere with these thoughts Right versus I am just stewing right over something that I don't have control over. So for instance, I'm trying not to worry about getting to the airport on time. Right. As we know, that is something to worry about the morning that you're going to the airport. That's a worry that is not yet ripe Meaning there's no point in worrying about it yet because there will be a time when, oh, it is a big worry then you will be acting on that worry. Yes. I love this idea though of having your response be okay. something good or bad so that you're not flying off the handle or going down a road too far. becausecause I can be reactionary, I think at times. and I am trying to trade myself out of that. It's not easy But yeah, I'm loving it. and it's funny because what I'm hoping is that my setting aside worry summer turns into setting aside worry fall. I'll take it one season at a time. Right. Well, let's say you're in the middle of the night and you catch yourself worrying like that and you say, okay, no, I'm setting aside worry Do you start listening to a podcast? Do you start counting sheep? How do you redirect your thoughts? If it's the middle of the night, I kind of just roll over and put it aside. And you're able to do that. I am more able to do it now that I have this thing I'm doing. So it's probably the oblliiger in me that I want to be able to come on the podcast and say, yes, I successfully set aside worry whichich is one reason why I wanted to do it on the podcast so that I'd talking about it and accountable. Katie and her friends are like, tellell us about it Alysa. so you have to be doing exactly. so you can report back from the land of Less worry. Yeah. But I do think for me, it also makes me nicer because I'm less tense. But am I still worrying? Of course there's gonna be worry. I mean, life has worries, but there's needless worry that I just need to eject from my life. But yeah, so that's it. I'm just mentally keeping it front of mine I have my bracelets And it's been fairly good so far. Interesting. Well, I'm very curious to hear how it continues because It sounds like it's sort of been easier than a person might have thought to just mentally set aside worry. Well, part of it, Gretch is I'm not a stickler. It's not like I am allowing for the fact that there is going to be some worry.. I'm not like right. Oh my gosh, I worried about something. I fail.. It's like meditation when they say, when you meditate, thoughts come up Right? Yes. And it's okay that thoughts come up and some people say, think of them like a piece of debris flowing by in the river. Just watch it flow by.. That's kind of how I'm treating my work. When it comes up, I'm just trying to let it flow by. It's not that it's not coming up and that I can block it. Because would take a lot longer to sort of build up that stamina. Don't think of a white elephant. Exactly. but I can think of it and then just let it flow by. hopefully. Yes. It's a practice. Right. Call it a practice. Everything sounds better when you call it a practice. Yes. the no worry practice. so maybe that will help Katie to think of it as a practice And I like it just flowing by exactly And here is a question for listeners. So that was a question from a listener. hereere is a question for you listeners So we talk a lot about the forward tendencies. and of course, if you don't know if you're an aholder questter or obllijer Rebel, you can take the quiz at Gretchenrubin. com and so much will be revealed to you. You'll get a little report about what it means to be that tendency and how to put it into action in your life But one of the things that I've realized, because I think about the four tendencies all the time and talk to people about the four tendencies all the time, is that people are often very focused on Rebels and how to deal effectively with rebels and rebels want to know how can I deal effectively with myself and how can I help other people deal effectively with me Now, this makes sense because rebels are the most different Of the four tendencies, they're the most different from the other three. And so I think it's harder for people to understand the rebel perspective and for rebels to communicate to others why doing something a certain way just is not going to work for a rebel. And so if you are a rebel or you're dealing with a rebel, what has worked for you What do you wish that you could tell other people about dealing with a rebel? How have you communicated successfully with a rebel? If you faced a big challenge and found the rebel way to handle it, I would love to hear from you because I'm constantly trying to get more and more examples and sophistication and understanding the tendencies, like I have this whole project that I'm doing about accountabilities for obliigers because you know, accountability is so key for obliigers and There's so many more ways to create accountability than people think. They think, well, you take a class. I'm like, o, there's many ways to create outer accountability that you probably haven't thought of. So I'm collecting those, but I also am really trying to deepen my understanding of practical ways T to approach the rebel tendency. And of course, as an upholder, the rebel tendency is the most opposite from me. It's the one I feel like I've learned the most from rebels because it's the most different for me. But I also sometimes think that I have the hardest time imagining their response to a situation because it is just so different from mine. Yes. And the fact is oftentimes it's even more important to understand other people's tendencies than your own tendency Yes, so rebels and people dealing with rebels. I want to hear from you, podcast at gretchenrubin. com or let me know on social media. Coming up, Gretchen gives herself a foot related to merit, but first this break This episode is brought to you by Google Health. Stop chasing someone else's definition of health. What matters is what's healthy for you. Google Health offers a new kind of coach built with Gemini for effortless tracking, sleep insights, and holistic coaching tailored to you. Visit googlestore. com to learn more and start a new relationship with your health. requires Google account, Google Health A, Internet, and Google Health, Pmium subscript Fatures subject to change, availability and results vary, not intended for medical purposes, W works independently of Gemini apps, check responses for accuracy. Good sleep is everything That's why Oie's science backack support is made with a blend of melatonin and LDNine for both kiddles and grownups So when your mind won't switch off, you've got something that can help. E racing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance Find Ollie sleep solutions for the whole family at ollie. com That's O L L Y d. com. Do you hear that Sounds like breakfast is ready Because Quakers's coming in hot with morning nutrition, one hundred percent whole grain oats, and a good source of fiber to fuel the rhythm of your morning and kick startart your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup twenty six Okay, Greta, it's time for Derits and Gld Stars. And this week, it is your week for a deemerit. Okay, well, this is a new Derit, but I suspect it will become a repeat Derit. So I very unfortunately have developed a bunion. And can I just say, this is a word I do not like. We really need to rebrand it. If anybody has a different, even like a Latin term for because I just don't like that word. But anyway, it' like squat versus pli. E though we know a pl isn't technically a squat, it just sounds better. Or you call it a sumo bend or whatever. You just find a different word for it. Okay So I am going to go to a podiatrist and find out what I can do to keep this one from getting worse or from developing another one. But in the meantime, somebody who I really respect was telling me about foot exercises I could do to strengthen my feet and to stretch them out and everything. It's a good idea to do them until I manage to get an appointment with a podiatrist And so I started out very eagerly because I'm like, o, this is a big thing and I don't want it to get worse. There's something called yoga toes.g, I want a podiatrist to say, shouldould I be using these things like stretch out your beet. Those are I'm good about you putting on because I just put them on while I'm working or something. They don't take any energy from me other than to just put them on. But the other stuff it's like, I have to go up on my toes and then back on my heels and up on my toes and back on my heels or I have to thread my Fingers through and bend them forward and bend them back and then do it in the reverse Even though I've been telling myself, look Until I'm told not to, I should do these things because somebody I really respect suggested them and I want to immediately start taking action. Well, Gretchen, let me remind you, scheduling is life. You need to get the podiatrist appointment on the books. Yes. I do. Remember going to a podiatrist changed my life. That's true. That is true. See, that's good. Okay I'm going to do that. and then maybe I will just say I will wait to talk to the podiatrist because maybe part of me is saying, do I really need to do these things? Right. If I had a doctor saying, Look, if you don't want it to be worse and you don't want it to be in the other foot, this is what you need to do. I think that would give me a lot of power. Okay, so I'm going to direct my energy toward making that appointment. rather than trying to get myself to do these exercises because you're right. In the end, that's going to be much more effective. Okay. Yes. Good suggestion. Okay. I pledge that I will do that. But Llizeth, take us up. what's your gold star? Well, Gretch, my gold star is to you and your app feature which is new this year, Design Your summer. Yeah on the app. I think you may have mentioned it earlier in the episode. I am using it. I have written down my things for the summer And one of which is I'm calling it my summer of off white delight And I am wearing as much white as I possibly can between Memorial Day and Labor Day. And so I'm taking a lot of photos of myself wearing white. They do get a bit repetitive not surprisingly. But anyway, I'm keeping track of all that in the app because I can put the photos in the app. Yeah. So at some point I need to do like a carousel on Instagram. Yeah to prove that I'm having this summer But it's great and also you can write down your theme there and what is really fun is that I'm assuming you'll have this every year. So I can start keeping track of all my summers in the app and then kind of look back, which is always fun. We love to look back at our password of the year and that So I like this idea of having photos and the summer vibe all in that place. So exxcellent new feature. Thank Oh good. I'm so glad you're liking it. Yeah, go to thehappierapp dot com if you want to learn more, that's so great. Yeah. Yeah, Alyssa, I've love seeing sometimes you'll send me a picture and I love seeing you in all your off white. Yes And the resource for this week. If you're listening to this on the day the episode goes live, halfway dayay is tomorrow. That is july second. That is a very useful moment to ask yourself What would make the biggest difference in the second half of your year If you're not sure where to focus, I have a quiz for that. It's the Habits for happappiness quiz in just eight questions, it will help you identify the habit that's most likely to boost your happiness. And to be clear, this isn't a general answer. This is an answer that is specifically targeted to you and how the quiz manages to do that in just eight questions