Personal Growth and Future Outlook

Pushin Hello. Hello. Welcome to the studio. Are you gonna to tell people who I am U Be that even, I was going to apologize for the smell of egg salad. I don't know why it smells like egg salad in here. It's not like I was eating an egg salad sandwich or anything, but What's those little pieces of yoke that are stuck all over your beard? Nothing. That's total circumstantial evidence. You can't hang someone for circumstantial evidence I did see Malcolm Gladwell exiting the studio. u strutting around with an egg salad, sandwich poking out of his fanny pack like he owned the joint So there's some circumstantial evidence you might want to investigate. You intrepid reporter you U So hello, Stevie Lane prodroducer Yes, of the episode that we're about to listen to Brandon Yeah, Brandon I will say and he doesn't even know this. He's not even going to know this till he listens to this One of my all time favorite guests, I think. Really? Yeah, I don't know. he just had such a nice attitude. And I feel like I feel like the two of you had a really Lovely rapport Yeah, and it was like an example of how sometimes a small question can have like a lot of emotional impact and can just really echo through the years. and you know With these updates, a lot of times I start off by saying that the subject of the episode has gone through a lot of changes But in the case with Brandon, I will say that G Change eems like too slight a word. I would say that Brandon has gone through some transformations thing. Um, so here's Brandon Yeah, it's a fun one. It is a fun one. And after the episode, if you stick around, I'm gonna to catch up with Brandon and we're gonna see who Brandon has become since we last spoke He Jackie. Hi Johny. I have some good news Well, it seems like there's some interest in turning the heavyweight podcast into a TV show. So I was just calling to see who who maybe, you know, who you want to play Jackie. I was thinking you know maybe Rita Marino Jon John, no one's going to watch your show, baby What' you just say? E I'm confused on two counts. A, that you would say something so cruel.. And then B, you would punctuate it with babe Yeah, a lot of people believe in this project. Why would you laugh at that we in this project Gimlet media I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and this is Heavyweight Today's episode Branded rightight after the break. This is an IiHart podcast Guaranteed human This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. There's something interesting about how seamlessly certain tools fit into daily life Apple card is one of those things It can be applied for right in the wallet app on iPhone and approval can happen in minutes So it's ready to use immediately with Apple Pay I'm so glad the days of finding my wallet. fishing out the credit card, using it, putting it back in my wallet or oops. maybe I use cash. Where's the ATM? enough. 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To exploit yourself, you can apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone subject to credit approval Savings is available to Apple Card owners subject to eligibility Savings and Apple Card by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch, member FDIC, terms and more at AppleCart d. com This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. I'm going to be honest with you. I am online way more than I probably should be. And between me and everyone else at my house, we've got a zillion screens going on at any given moment. So when my internet slows down, it is a full crisis. That's why having fast, reliable internet that can keep up really matters and why you need optimum famously Fast Fiber Internet Optimum fiber blows flaky five G out of the water and keeps it cool with the fastest and most reliable speeds that don't slow when things heat up. And right now, they have the deal of the summer, just thirty dollars a month for five years. So don't wait, callall eight eight eight for optimum. 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E exclud cash rewards secredit cards and application submitted by mail, telephone or in person. Refinance auto loan must be at least five thousand dollars, credit and collateral subject approval. Aditional term and coitions apply for bonus offers, sububject to change or in end at any time Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on This is Brandon. He's thirty three years old and wearing a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan, is in a sundndress, and together, they're about to enter the new Palestine High School prom. up there. That Mean is the school's art teacher, but tonight, she's chaperoning, with Brandon as her date. She introduces him to the other teachers. At a certain point, they're interrupted by the announcement of prrom King and quQeen And long me Well Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with her colleagues Brandon wanders off and observes the kids Some are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth There kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves. then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset. Those aimless kids, wandering along the margins alone They remind Brandon of himself when he was a teenager in his own promm Brandon thinks about his prom a lot and the improbable path that led him to it whichich began when he was just a little kid Through middle school and junior high, I had a lot of bullying problems That was kind of an easy target There were a number of things that made him w First I'm like still a big guy now, but I was I was at my biggest in high school Heaviest. Second Brandon tried too hard to fit in Like the time he shaved an ike swoosh into the back of his head I just thought like sports, that's cool. So it made your head look like a running shoe. Exactly. Yeah, I sat in front of this kid named Cyril and he It said it looked like a hockey stick. And that was enough that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick. That is not an Iike swwoosh Finally Brandon was a coda The Child of Deaf Adults His family attended a Deaf church and spends a lot of time in the Deaf community He says he was brought up with different social norms Bike Volume quick volume is not a concern around deaf people in a deaf environment. and then of course it is around hearing people So what does that mean, like any examples Yo school where It's like time to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself. or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know Then in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced There was less space for him, less attention paid to him He drew inward. I think I wanted to put off a harder like you can't hurt me. exterior than I really had on the inside So wearing hot topic clothes Spiky things close and trying to just like keep your hoodie on and through the day For the most part, Rndon succeeded in going unnoticed until the spring of a senior year Brandon was sitting at the back of a classroom during a free period eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room Some classmates were talking about prom. And among the group was a girl named Allie She was going on about what a great night it was going to be. How excited she was She had like long blonde hair with highlights. B features like Big eyes. She had a big smile Yeah. Like when she smiled, she looked really happy. and I think she kind of pulled me into the conversation by some of those questions at me like, are you going probleom Who are you going to prom with Brandon had no intention of going He hadn't a girlfriend nor any prospects for a date And he was confused about why Allie was talking to him Brandon says they barely ever spoken They were from totally different social worlds. Allie was in student government She was popular and beautiful She was just really well put together Um Clean. than you Hm no, that's not a word I'd use to describe myself in high school I mean, like I would like smell my clothes before before I put them on in the morning. You know what I mean? Like I got dressed from the floor. Okay my bedroom Not. Yeah And yet Allie kept throwing questions at him. Why wasn't he going? If he did go, who would he take Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she'd turn back to her friends and leave them alone. But instead, she rose from her seat and began striding towards him Inside I was like Like inflamed. you what I mean? Like my heart my heart rate was rising With each question, Ally moved closer and closer until she was sitting at the desk in front of him facing him Then, she did something that still flummxes Brandon fifteen years later She just kind of outright said, takeake me to prrom. like go to prrom, take me. let's go together immediately had questions. Questions like why, why me? what's going on? I guess I was skeptical that this was some kind of trick You know, Why would you be asking me this other than to set me up for a punchline or something like that But no punchline really came. So I just agreed. A big night, Brandon met up with Allie and her friends for a pre dance dinner at her friend Jen's house He was in the fancier part of town Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage and a bright blue necktie that matched Allie's dress. Before leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture. Did you just feel like saying why the heck am I here? Like What happened? Was this a mistake? Yeah, I I would have loved an answer to that question, but I would never thought couldn't fathom saying it, you know D you still have that prom photo that you guys took? No, to be honest, I'm not even sure I ever got it. So I don't think I ever even saw that picture H What do you think you would see in that photo? I mean Just imagining it makes me laugh. Yeah, why? Um It would be a line of like beautiful high schoolers You know, and like me there Itust feels like if your eyes set on me for a little too long, that maybe you'd be able to see that I didn't fit in Aleander friendriends look like the girls in those movies about prom And those girls always had guys who gave them the time of their lives For Brandon A sense of duty kicked in It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like This is going to be a big deal in Ally's life forever, and I have a big responsibility as her date to make sure that I live up to this Position I was really, really nervous Did you guys did you and Ally slow dance U I'm sor to feel like I feel like when I ask these questions, I feel like Hannibal Lecter Yeah. Like I'm asking these questions from a strait jacket in a cell. Did you slow dance? Did you slow dance I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking like It's funny that in TV shows and in movies, this is such a big deal, but it's just standing you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah. Like that's not hard. L I was in like a hip hop dance crew and youth group, you know, that was hard. Wait you were in sorry, repeat that. You were in a hip hop dance youth group, What? Yeah. So the church I went to was just like There were a lot of performances and Hip hop, dance that happen Did you ever at any point break out any of your Christian youth group hip hop moves on the dance floor? Do you do anything like on the floor, like where you spin on your back? Or you didn't want to ruin the rental You wanted to get your deposit. Uu uh huh prom, Brandon popped for the Lord and locked for the Lord. He made Allie's friends laugh. And it was right there on the dance floor, the place one might expect a high school boy to feel the most self conscious, that Brandon felt most at ease. He was a part of the group of a group kind of felt like a resolution of what all of grade school was like for me. You know, I never felt safe enough to bring my true self into that space But likeike dancing around at prom with your peers is like one of the most vulnerable things you can do And it came out on the other end of it, okay. At the end of the prom, Allie and all her friends headed to one of their classmates's houses for the after party But having never been to a house party, Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye to Alie No And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking with her or seeing her in school after that night I had to have because we both went back to school. but I don't have any specific memories of Talking to her again Prom is supposed to stay with you for the rest of your life And for Brandon, it has But eclipsing the dancing, the music, the last night out with his peers is a lingering question was like whyind be out of all the people that you could be going with Maybe it was one of those situations where All of these people out there thinking, well, Ally's taken. she's totally going to prm with somebody already. I'll have to ask somebody else, you know? And then leaves her without a prompt date If that was what was going on, maybe Maybe she just had a breakup, maybe I was part of a charity case So you want you want to ask her why? Why did she pick you. Exactly I want to know that Yeah, without her, I wouldn't have gone to prom. It would have just been another thing on my list of things I regread from high school, you know But it's not on that list. It's on the shorter list of things that I feel okay Yeah, I'd like to thank her. I'm just nervous Which is why Brandon has reached out to me If you get nervous, I mean, I can always jump in. Sure. I've just assumed I'm gonna be coming along to chaperone. After the break, I chaperoneed Brandon back to high school This show is brought to you by Better Heel BetterHelp's twenty twenty six State of Stigma repeport surveyed two thousand Americans and revealed that eighty five percent of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet, seventy four percent said society discourages people from doing so. Lila Holt. Do you believe in therapy I go regularly. I have a tail must All my friends are in therapy. When I was younger growing up in the nineteen forties, therapy was more of a stigma. Your generation talks about mental health more openly. I think that's wonderful. I think it's healthy. 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Capable device required, availability, speed and coverage varies, seemintMobile.ot com This message is a paid partnership Apple card. There's something interesting about how seamlessly certain tools fit into daily life Apple card is one of those things It can be applied for right in the wallet app on iPhone and approval can happen in minutes So it's ready to use immediately with Apple Pay I'm so glad the days of finding my wallet fishing out the credit card, using it, putting it back in my wallet or oops, mayaybe I use cash. Where's the ATM? enough first time I used Apple Pay on my phone with my Apple card I was like This is the future There's no going back With Aook card, purchases earn daily cash up to three percent with no points to track. and no waiting for awwards It's simply daily cashback that I earn on every purchase There's even an option to open a high yield savings account through Apple Card. And while I haven't done it yet. If I do, my daily cash can grow automatically over time without any extra effort Be Apple Card lives in the wallet app. always accessible on iPhone and can be used with Apple Pay at over eighty five percent of merchants in the US. And the security of face ID and touch ID prevents unauthorized purchases whether using iPhone or Apple Watch. Explore yourself, you can apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone subject to credit approval Savings is available to Apple Card owners subject to eligibility. Savings and AppleCart by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch, member FDIC, terms and more at appppleCart dot com Before Brandon can ask Ally the question that's been on his mind since senior year We first need to track her down. Her last name is Sm Smutz Schmutz. I'm just making that up. Brandon's part of a Facebook group for his high school graduating class. and Ally is a member of the group as well Does that mean that you can have a better chance of messaging through that group I mean, like if I were going to use the group, it would be making a post for my whole graduating class todayon. Might as well go big, like say, hey, I'm just gonna put this out there to everybody Yeah. If you're not Alie, please don't read this. But Alie, I just want to say, hey Hit me up here are my digits. Everybody else just lose this number Um Maybe Facebook friend her I could do that. Yeah, I'd have to change my name on Facebook. My name hasn't been my real name for a long time 's what's the name that you operate under ree Just oak tree Just oak tree. I can't even find you as Brand. I'd have to look up oak tree. That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds of words it lets me have as a name. Can you change your name from Oaktree to Brandon? Probably a good idea. Then you don't have to start with a whole rigam roll about how like my name's not really Oaktree. This is Brandon, by the way. You remember from high school And so the mighty oak tree sheds his leaves, and his name And the mighty Brandon sends Allie a friend request A week later, Brandon texts with an update Alli has accepted his friendship Now he just needs to send her a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already Yeah, could you read it Hi Ali. Good so far. Casual. Okay, cool o ahead. Yeah. Hi, Ali. Maybe you'll remember me. We were prom dates senior. As Brandon reads me his draft, I focus my keen podcast producer's ear. By my recollection, it was your idea for us to go to prrom together. Now let me sorry, let me hit pause there U like the way that you're underlining your idea, you're not actually underlining that though I did italicize it It was your idea for us to go to prrom together. Is that what you're saying Yeah, it sounds accusatory out loud. Yeah. So maybe we'll de italicize that part. Okay, keepep going Brandon tells Allie that he still thinks about their prom He says he wants to talk to her about it. Would she be up for that? Okay, okay, let's take a look at this here, okay, so. As Brandon and I pour over the message, A worry suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a way to work in the fact that you're married You know How about just I'm married, but I'll just start. Hey, listen, I'm taken. Speaking as a married man, me and my wife are wondering, that is my wife and I We were wondering the other night after making love. doing good work and I hope you're well, all the best. Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to hit send. Should I go ahead and do it? Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead. Hit send. Enter. It's send. Congratulations. Thank you A week later, Allie writes back, She's willing to talk So that's good. It's a positive response I um Look at you, you're giddy You're giddy with expectation Can you tell just keep wiping my face and touching my eyes Um Would it be fun to do it on a video call Sure, sure. Yeahah. Do you still have the suit that you wore to your prom? I'll be like, I never took it off Any things that you want me to bring up just kind of like conversationally awards or any upcoming projects that you want to promote or No keepe it organic, whatever. Cool, cool. I can keep it organic. Cool Yeah, ye ye When it comes to looking your best, Beachbum tanning does it better. Beeachbum delivers advanced sun and spray tanning, luxury skincare, and an elevated salon experience designed around you. It's why so many guests trust Beachbum for flawless color and real confidence. And now Beachbum is expanding M' services to many locations, with red light therapy and infrared sauna, with more on the way. Rcharge your body, refresh your skin, reset your day. Beachbum isn't just tanning. 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Plus, Navy Federal is proud to support the National Flag Foundation's Light to Unite movevement. inviting Americans to light their homes red, white, and blue on july fourth as a shared moment of connection and reflection Learn more and join today at navyfederal d. org slash America two hundred fifty Offer ends julyty first, twenty six, excluduse cash rewards secredit cards and applications subitted by mail telephone or in person. refinance alut loan must be at least five thousand dollars, credit and collateral subject to approval. Aditional term and coitions apply for bonus offers, subject to change or at any time Hello, Hello U I'm getting a little bit of static on your end. Yeah hello, better? Yeah On the day of the video call with Allie, Brandon and I get on early and wait Um It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of my high school self. like I'm. Hi, Ali. Hi How are you Got. Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth She's wearing a blue pattern blouse that matches the blue of her nails I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile. You live in Carmo and you have a baby I have two daughters A three year old and a two year old. Awesome. They're right Here on my wall Brandon and Ally catch up. The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise a f. It's recruiting, but there's like a sales element. And then of course, the grandparents are here. Yeah, I figured that was part of justa family. It's a huge resce Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school In fact, it's gotten harder After a pause of a few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness. By the way Why'd you choose me But to ask after fifteen years There's no way to by the way your way through it But eventually So can I ask you some questions? Absolutely. I guess first, like what are your memories of me in high school Yeah, so I was trying to think of this. didid we ever have any classes together? Probably not. Yeah So we met senior year, right? I think so Allie doesn't remember much, but one thing she does remember is that they in the back of the classroom. We were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do. and I think you had you weren't like not into going to prom, right? you're like, No, I'm not going to go. Yeah, I remember like you had to really spell it out. You were like, are you going to prom You're not. Okay. L if you were, would you be going with someone No, okay. And then eventually you were like, you and me can go to Pom. Like why don't we go to Prom? You know That's funny And then Brandon asks this question Sort of At any point did you consider having U Someone else has a date Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself So I don't have any memories of thinking like I'm going ask Brandon and then if that doesn't work, I'm going to ask so and so They're just kind of like am askk branded That is surprising. I guess because I thought like that it was like spur of the moment, like your friends were hearing this for the first time too. No, no. I was very obsessed with my friends, so I'm sure that I ran up by them. So you passed the friend test. Brandon grows quiet It wasn't a prank. it wasn't pity Allie planned to ask him What's more She wasn't going to take no for an answer I do remember like you did say no, I remember you say no, and I'm like, o, yeah, but give him a day. I'm gonna make him go. He's gonna go with me Even But yeah You were just surprised by the fact that I asked you I mean, yeah, definitely Allie pauses, trying to find the right words You made me laugh a lot. And I remember that you were just, you know, fun to be around and Goofy and You smiled at me a lot. I remember that, you know, like I liked being around you And If I made a joke, you would laugh at it, you know, it made me feel like I was funny, which is a great quality You got me a corsage. I remember that. I remember not expecting you to get me a cissage. I'm thinking that was really nice I do remember that. Isn't that silly that like I don' remember a lot, but I remember that So, you know, I'm going to be a little blunt here because S. Was there anything else to it? Like was there an element of something romantic So we probably flirted, right? But I don't know I mean, friendship is really just the main The main feeling that I can recall U I'm not saying that there wasn't, you know. I mean, I don't know, you're teenager you're feeling all kinds of things. I'm sure there were moments when I was like, Oh, is this a thing? you know, is this turning into this? Um, that u I think that I would have found that really hard to believe as a kid, you know That would have gone against the narrative of school and what people thought of me that I had. I don't know. I guess to some extent, I knew that we were I want to be honest with it I knew that there that some people were surprised by the fact that we were going together, right? I do remember one time when I told some dude in my Physics class, I can't remember. I was going with Brandon and they're like, wait, what And I was like, yeah And they're like, that's weird. And I'm like, you're weird. Well Brandon remembers himself as a misfed Allie remembers someone who is different than a lot of the other guys in high school Brandon made rye jokes He was sweet and self deprecating She remembers things that Brandon doesn't She says there was one time Brandon did a whole monologue about how he found it hard to drive because of his fear of hitting birds In other words Allally asked him to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered She just wanted to go with him Did you have a good time because I really wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time thinking like That's my role. I'm the date. hereere I go, you know, Yeah Allie grows thoughtful I guess I didn't even think that because I mean, I talked you into it, right So then here you are kind of not stuck, but like Yeah, feeling like you wanted to make it spepecial for me because I was the one that was all about it. Yeah, I guess I never even thought about that I just think Brandyie, you're just so much more thoughtful, you know just thoughtful about the whole experience and I do want to thank you because that's so nice that you were thinking it was your duty to try to make sure I had the prm I wanted to have I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from you for for anything Um, I feel like I have to thank you because There's something really simple and superficial about this, but it felt really real that I finished high school as a person who went to prom I got to go. I got to have a fun time and forget the misfit feelings I was having. That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that. That's really nice My life started to really just like blossom and grow, like from like the moment high school was over. And I guess I can't say for certain what that part of my life would have looked like had I not had the prom experience But I can't say it was totally irrelevant Was it out of that and kind of like into that period that you ended up meeting your wife, Megan? Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Meg and I met Her dress is so cute, she looks beautiful This is Megan Brandon's wife. Looking at a photo of Aly from Prom Night. Sheook looks amazing. Sheooks great After getting off the video call, Allie sent the group photo from Prom Bacon study said while seated beside Brandon It's also like so cute to see you flanked by these like, I mean I'm sorry they're in high school as I don't really feel like I should be calling them hot babes, but you know what I mean? Like from the high school perspective You lucky lucky man But as Brandon looks at the photo, I imagine it isn't his date or the other kids that he's focused on So much as he's focused on the big guy in the middle and all the baggage that guy was carrying There's a lot of weird stuff about like my weight and and growing up, like Dieting and like my mom, like putting me out a scale and It was like you're over this line You know, you're unattractive What does it make you to feel like, Megan to hear that It makes me feel very protective for sure I think if we don't we rarely really get into squabbles, but if ever we do What really disarms me is like thinking about that like little like young Brandon I feel like that happened not even that long ago. Do remember we were like standing at the kitchen and I started crying and I was just like, I had been so resentful and mad at you for a minute. And then I just was imagining you being like a little kid and having other adults in his life not really tend to like the difficulties of that as well as they should have I think about him just having to like navigate those insecurities alone But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his wedding suit and needed her to let it out She was like down on her knees like looking at it, pulling the pants in different ways and then said, Okaykay, go ahead and open the pants up. So I can see how much we can let out and I I Don't know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that she was going to Brandon. A you asking that? Yeahes, she asked me to open the pants And I was like, right now. and she wass like, yeep, go ahead And I just said, I can't do that. rightight now, if Do you know what I mean Wow, I know. I know