Reflecting on Life After Years

Pushin Hi You know when you meditate, you're supposed to acknowledge the breath and put a name to it. like That was a small breath. that was a big breath.. If I had to put a name to that hello I would say hesitantly cheerful. Yeah, I'll take that. That's a part of my meditation is naming your hellos. Kind of weird, but all right. We're gonna revisit another reat episode today. Hit me. It's called Christina. Oh, yeah. It's truly one of my favorite episodes It's a really good one. Oh yeah, I love it. I will say this and maybe you can confirm this, fact check me on this. But this was an early season two episode. and up until this point I had largely worked with people that I already knew like friends and family. and this This was the first time that I was actually like traveling out in the world to meet someone That is true. Yeah. and I'll never forget. But when they met me at the airport Christina and her husband, Levi, I just remember like seeing the look of hope and respect almost in their eyes. Yeah. And I just felt like, oh my God poor people, likeike I don't deserve that look at all. But I really better get it together. And then you've gotten it together for ten years now. You know what I do? I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and I slap myself in the face and I say, get it together, boy Well, it's working, so I guess to keep doing that. Yeah Well Enjoy the episode And afterwards, we're going to hear from Christina what she's up to now. Yes, we're going to get a nice update about what Christina's life has been like and the impact that participating in the episode had on her Oh, but if we can reeverse the process and eat our dessert before we move on to the main course. Okay. A word from our sponsors This is an IiHart podcast. Guaranteed human Hey everyone, it's Kell Pen. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding Book Club you've ever heard with my podcast, EarsSay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book Cub for your ears Listen to EarsSay, the Audible and I Heart Audioobook Club On the ArHartt Radio apppp or wherever you get your podcasts This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card There's something interesting about how seamlessly certain tools fit into daily life Apple card is one of those things It can be applied for right in the wallet app on iPhone and approval can happen in minutes So it's ready to use immediately with Apple Pay I'm so glad the days of finding my wallet. fishing out the credit card, using it, putting it back in my wallet or oops, maybe I use cash. Where's the ATM enough first time I used Apple Pay on my phone with my Apple Card I was like This is the future. There's no going back With Aook card, purchases earn daily cash up to three percent with no points to track and no waiting for awwards It's simply daily cashback that I earn on every purchase There's even an option to open a high yield savings account through Apple Card. And while I haven't done it yet. If I do, my daily cash can grow automatically over time without any extra effort Be Apple Card lives in the wallet app always accessible on iPhone and can be used with Apple Pay at over eighty five percent of merchants in the US. And the security of face ID The touch ID prevents unauthorized purchases whether using iPhone, or Apple Watch. Explore yourself, you can apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app. on your iPhone subject to credit approval Savings is available to Apple Card owners subject to eligibility. Savings and AppleCart by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch, member FDAC, terms and more at AppleCart dot. com This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. 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I can't find my copy and I was wondering what was on TV D you remember you remember Don't wait wait, don' you remember calling people up on the phone I do remember that, yeah. Just just to see what was on. I remember calling out my aunt Tilly because I was too lazy to get up off the couch to look for the TV guide, so I just called her up. The woman could hardly walk and she had to search around for a TV guide. All right, I gota go Gimlet Media, I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight. Today's episode Christina This is the best of all possible worlds, my father was fond of saying The words were spoken contentedly. offtten while reclining in a barkle lounger Bckle undone after a large meal of baked beans and lamb chops What did my father know of other worlds He'd held down the same job and was married to the same woman for decades Bus He hardly left the house But what he did know was that this world had one thing over all of those other worlds It existed for my father That was enough to make it best. I, on the other hand and not won over so easily Sure existence is a nice quality. a fine quality Going so far as to call a world that contains both soul patches and puddles, the best possible anything seemeems a little Extreme And so imagining other worlds, the same, only better is just too irresistible. In spite of the pain such thinking inevitably invites Why don't we start from the beginning? Okay This is Christina. And like me, she knows this world can use a few tweaks. Overall, she says, her life hasn't been a bad one. It's just not the ones who was meant to live She's worked as a waitress, a receptionist, as a home care worker The kinds of jobs you do but not necessarily the kind you dream about Lately, she's been helping run her husband's company It's a disgulfing backpack company S sorry, say that again. it's a what golf backackpack. What is Ty? What is this golf It's like ball golf, but instead of balls and clubs, you have frisbees. when you say ball golf, you're talking about golf golf. Like regular golf, yeah. Okay, I've never heard it referred to distinguished as ball golf. but I O only dis golfers call it ball golf But how do you so how do you get a frrisbee in a golf hole No, it's actually not a hole. It's a basket Oh my goodness Before she started pining after Better Wlds, Christina was focused on just one the world of small town Western Canada I lived with my mom She was a single mom, my dad left when I was around one And my mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia Christina was just a kid So a lot of it's now fuzzy But she remembers bits of things. Her mom going off her meds and beginning to hear voices Her mom waking her in the middle of the night and saying they had to leave right away. She remembers running with her mom down dark streets She started becoming violent and she would just you know, hit me with the phone handle or this one time. she came after me with a high heeled shoe Um There's no food in the house. She wouldn't do laundry. Like the dirty clothes would pile up in the living room. L I remember this massive mound of dirty clothes And And I remember this kid made fun of me for having dirty pants. and so I started stealing clothes just so I could have clean clothes to go to school When you're a kid trying to survive on your own, the unthinkable can start to seem normal. To escape her house, Christina took a job caring for two boys, not much younger than herself She became A twelve year old live in Nanny. So I ended up moving in with this family and looking after the boys they paid me a little bit. and I quit school to be a nanny when she stopped showing up at school Social serervices removed Christina from the nannying house. But instead of bringing her back to her mom They took her to a foster home She was sent to live with an older couple and their grandson They lived on the fancier side of town in a house decorated with candle holders and decorative pistols The foster mother was a woman named Isabele Her grandson, David, was the golden boy who could do no wrong From day one, Christina struggled for Isabele's approval My foster mother and I kindind of butted heads a little bit or a lot Although Isabele was only an inch taller Christina was scared of her Her foster mother communicated through rules and punishments She was very strict. If I was five minutes late for curfew, I would be grounded for a month It felt like I was always grounded. and afraid all the time and kind of walking on eggshells and Yeah, just feeling always really intimidated and Scared, I was always scared And when she got scared Christina would go silent. As a result, she never once stood up to Isabellel. It was while living in Isabel's world that another betteret world presented itself to Christina A world with rules that were easy to understand a world where someone was always keeping score and keeping things fair. This was the eighty four byx fifty foot world. of a basketball court I can't explain how much I was obsessed with basketball. I practice at like six in the morning at the school. I would practice on weekends. I'd watch the NBA games with Clyde the Gllyide and Charles Berkeley and Then my name is in the paper a few times. I think I have some paper clippings of like high scoring I loved loved, loved basketball. On the basketball court, Christina was never scared. It was a place where for the first time in her life, she felt in control and confidence Her foster brother, David, a popular jock, spent hours helping her get better She joined a team and quickly became a high scorer Eventually, she was made team capaptain. They would always put me inside like I would always have to guard the post. When Christina talks about basketball, she lights up And I want to encourage her to keep talking by asking questions But my only real knowledge of basketball comes from watching the Harlem Glop Trotters. I was in my thirties before I learned it was illegal to bring stilts onto the court. so my questions are limited. We tall No, I'm only five, six But I guess I kind of had this Unrealistic u view of myself where I thought I was taller than I was. because Off court, I was like kind of meek and U I'd just follow the crowd and I wouldn't like create any waves. I didn't really have an opinion. But on the court, I was a force to be reckoned with. It was like the only time where I felt powerful It was around this time that a plan began to take shape If she kept practicing and kept winning She'd get a basketball scholarship Christina knew that was her only hope of getting into college I wanted to get out of that circle of welfare and illness and liivving from paycheck to paycheck and just feeling just being poor. it sucked whichich brings us to the moment that thirty years later Christina still can't stop thinking about She just come home from school When Isabele called her into the kitchen, sat her down at the table and presented her with an ultimatum. She said, you have to get your grades up You have to work harder at school U And so in order for me to be able to play basketball the following year, which would have been eleventh grade, I had to have an average of a B in every class I was really bad at math and chemistry and and I didn't make it I wasn't allowed to play basketball What she remembers most about that time was watching a lot of TV and overeating. and the chores. afterfter forcing Christina to quit the basketball team Isabelle handed her chores that felt like ironic punishments from the Judy Bloom version of Dante's Inferno She had to bake cookies for the family But because of her weight gain She wasn't allowed to eat any. And when she dusted the house, Isabel instructed her to pick up David's basketball trophies Dust each one and dust the shelf underneath All the while Christina Felter loss acutely of basketball and the better world it promised she took something from me that I that I've not been able to get back What what is that thing? And I don't even know, don I don't when I say that out loud, it sounds ridiculous Um It feels like passion for something It dashed this huge dream that I had for my life. Christina still wonders why? Why did Isabelle take away basketball The only thing that really matter to her. that would have given her a better life But all these years, she's been too afraid to ask. She's going to be ninety five in July. The thought of talking to her about it petrifies me a little bit.ike there's still part of me that is scared of her, which is ridiculous Um What do you want Yeah, I think I want to know like why she made my life so difficult if it was just to Break me down. if she had some kind of thing against me And what do you want to hear her say I guess I want to just hear her say that She just genuinely wanted me to have better grades I know that that's just such Yes For whatever reason, I've let go of a lot of things that have happened, but for whatever reason, this one thing, the basketball thing, not letting me play basketball, I'm having such a hard time letting go of that and forgiving her. I want to let it go say you want to go talk to her Yeah. you and you want me to come. Yes I get really mealy mouthed when I'm in the same room as like strong willed, scary older women. I'll tell you that right now, not to be much help A. So we're doing it It sounds like we're doing it. All right, we're gonna go talk to that scary lady. H After the break, how much mincing can a meealy Mouth mince when a mealy Mouth meets a menacing miss? Who writes this stuff , I guess I do. This show is brought to you by Better Help BetterHelp's twenty twenty six State of Stigma repeport surveyed two thousand Americans and revealed that eighty five percent of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet, seventy four percent said society discourages people from doing so Cila Holt, do you believe in therapy? I go regularly I a tail must All my friends are in therapy. When I was younger growing up in the nineteen forties, therapy was more of a stigma. Your generation talks about mental health more openly. I think that's wonderful. I think it's healthy. 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If I do, my daily cash can grow automatically over time without any extra effort Be the Apple Card lives in the wallet app always accessible on iPhone and can be used with Apple Pay at over eighty five percent of merchants in the US. And the security of face ID The Touch ID prevents unauthorized purchases whether using iPhone, or Apple Watch. Explore yourself, you can apply for Apple card in the Wallet app. on your iPhone subject to credit approval Savings is available to Apple Card owners subject to eligibility. Savings and AppleCart by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch, member FDIC, terms and more at AppleCart dot com Once I gave Christina my word that I'd help, I approached CEO and Gimlet founder Alex Bloomberg to ask if he could fly me to the British Columbian Interior to confront a ninety five year old woman about something she may or may not have said some thirty years ago, to which Alex asked Why are you always standing just outside the door whenever I get out of the bathroom? And I said it was a coincidence, although I might have pronounced it quinky dink To be playful, and he asked how long this trip would take me out of the office, and I said a week, and he said to take longer if I needed it So I was off to Canada held noer In his toir he prepared a pub brian explorer How are you? are you? Levi Johet. I meet Christina and her husband, Levi at the Colologa Airport in British Columbia. They just flown in from Portland, and the look of trust on their faces is daunting When meeting new people, especially people I'm about to help, I'm more comfortable with looks of skepticism or anticipatory disappointment. Trust was disconcerting. Yes, I have a reservation. It was an hour and a half drive to Isabelle's, so we made our way to the airport rental desk to get a car. What's last name? Goldstein, GOLD Can I just ask what that is there? Oh, it's just we're doing a radio story, so I'm just Do you mind turning that off and putting that away? Yeah If I couldn't even stand up to the car rental clerk What hope did I have of helping Christina stand up to Isabel ot in here Okay It's been well over two years since Christina's seen Isabel She's feeling anxious, so I try to keep the mood positive I think the thrift stores are really good around here I point out foreign license plates, and because we're in a foreign country, there are many P Have you guys been watching this show called Little Big Les Or Big Little Les or Little Big Les I'llit? I think so Isabell lives on the ground floor of a squat apartment block, mostly inhabited by seniors We wait When no one answers, we ring the bell Door opens This is the first time. I heard you the first time, Isabelle says Christina smiles. In spite of herself, she can't help but get a kick out of Isabellel. Isabellel peers up at us from behind her walker. Christina's husband, Levi makes introductions. This is Jonathan, Isabell. Hi. Hi J. How you doing? Oh That Ohh is me reacting to Isabele's handshake. a surprisingly powerful thing that yanks me through the door frrame Although a diminutive woman with white puffy hair and wire rimm glasses, Isabelle's just established herself as the alpha. C on. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Thanks for having you. C in. Okay You seem to be doing great I'm doing not bad for you know my age, I guess Isabel's apartment is tidy and dim, decorated with candles that haven't been lit in years. We slowly follow her down a narrow hallway to her living room where she seats herself in a faded blue, mechanized armchair On the drive over, Christina mentioned that Isabel is legally blind But I misreember this as Isabel being legally deaf. so I compliment her on how well she's following along. Well, I'm not talking very loud and you've been able to hear everything. I didn't say there wass anything wrong with my ears Right And you did not To recover from this faux paw, I offer Isabelle a chance to feel my face, run her hands through my beard which is something I think I saw done in the Miracle worker If ever you want to feel my stubble or I don't go running around feeling beards I decide that now's as good a time as any to offer around the airport treats I bought during my layover. I brought some refreshments Since I don't want to put Isabelle out by asking for a party tray. I scoot my travel socks and underwear to the side of my backpack and proffer them straight from the bag. Some u Chocolate covered nuts and such. Not right now, thank you. No. Okay. I'll leave him in the bag. If I've learnnt anything from my work in the business of forcing people to ask terrifying questions, it was that it's always best to just get it over with Ask the question, Wh did you ruin my life? Get the answer and head back to the hotel bar to eat the juiciest, fattiest te bone steak that Gimlet Media's fourteen dollar per diM allows But staging is everything I need to be off handand subtle you Christian, do you have anything that you? you want to ask about or Huh Christina looks down at her hands and tightens her lips Of course, I understand her hesitation. Isabell is even more intimidating in person than Christina made her out And nothing about being here can possibly feel much like coming home. The walls and shelves are loaded with photos of Isabele's children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren But there isn't a single photo anywhere of her only foster child Christina To break the silence, I ask Isabelle why she originally took Christina into her home in the first place. One of my children left a child for me to raise my grandson? This was David Yeah So I thought life was just my husband and I We were both older. It would be kind of very dull for him So I thought that ha me someone else around the house would make make it a little M homy for him But I had't chosen Christinea and Christinine, it was brought to me and it just She was just there This wild looking thing She needed a little bit of training to live in a home obviously she hadn't been brought up with anything. I just thought any child living under My roof had to be taught something. Meaning like what kind of things? like you mean normal like rules and Well, rules. Yeah, the ru I don't think that our rules are terribly strict worthy I mean, I felt like they were strict Well, maybe you thought so, but most kids do But they were the same rules as my kids had Christina hesitates You can see it's hard for her to talk back to Isabel even now But then she says, But David didn't have rules. No, he didn't need any He is the most perfect person I've ever raised. Christina, another person she happened to have raised, is seated a couple feet away from her Christina stares ahead blankly, not saying anything So I pressed Isabelle. We must have done something wrong. I mean he's onlyan Very little, or you'd be surprised how perfect he was Was that hard though, being Like side by side with someone who is just so No, I think it was good for her Christina, is that way is that how you feel? It was hard. Yeah. It was really hard. Something else that's been hard is finding the courage to ask the question that brought her here But Christina gives it a shot. after the break When it comes to looking your best, Beachbum Tanning does it better. Beachbum delivers advanced sun and spray tanning, luxury skincare, and an elevated salon experience designed around you. It's why so many guests trust Beachbum for flawless color and real confidence. 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Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited preremium wireless for fifteen dollars a month is back So I thought it would be fun if we made fifteen dollarars bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at midmobile d. com slash swwitch Upront pay forty dollars for months ninety dollars for six months are one hundred eighty dollars for twelveth, reired fifteen dollars for month equal to taxes andes extra. initial term only greater than fifty gigabytes slow netork busy term Something else that's been hard is finding the courage to ask the question that brought her here Christina gives it a shot Hh. But after some throat clearing, Again, she goes silent Go ahead, ask. I think the one thing that I have kind of always wondered is do you remember, I think it was in Tenth grade and I had been playing basketball And you told me that I had to get my grades up or I couldn't play basketball anymore. Do you remember that? No Okay, so I didn't get my grades up And I had to quit the team I don't remember that at all. You don't know. I still It It was devastating for me. And why didn't you get your grade out then Yeah I asked Christina if she could explain to Isabelle why losing basketball hurt so much Not without crying I felt like It was like the one thing that I was really good at Are you surprised to hear Christina talk about how much she loved basketball? Like was that something that you knew back then? I didn't know it no Christina, did you ever express it I don't think she did I don't think so. No, I don't think you did I think the reason why like it still affects me now is because I didn't fight for it. And how could she have She never felt like she had the right to stomp her feet, to slam the bedroom door. in so many words to act like someone's kid I thought that maybe if I could get Isabelle to put herself in Christina's shoes, it might help her understand Was there anything that you can think of that's comparable from your own life, Isabelle, like something that you really felt very passionate about, like the thing that you really That was your great love ot really, I always wanted to go to school more than I did. I really wanted a good education, which a country you weren't able to get Her father was a rancher, Isabelle says. and her mom died when she was little So her dad raised the kids by himself. and Isabele being the eldest had a lot of responsibility. I used to miss school every year when I got us to be a certain age and I had to herd cattle. And so I'd miss about two months or a month of school every year when I was old enough to do this But I was first in my class from the day I started, til the day I finished. I was never anything but first in my class Was that typical? did a lot of kids in the class have to miss? No, just me. And well we were brought up by our dad and men bring up children differently than women. Yeah. And what ways, how do you mean? I mean, my dad didn't teach me to ride horseback. He just threw me on a horse and told me to go. You know, a woman wouldn't do that I don't think Not likely. My father was quite fond of me, actually. Yeah How far did you go in school? Just grade nine. I took grade nine for correspondence So you didn't you never ended up getting the high school degree? No Yeah, school was an important thing to me because I felt that's how you'd make your living. Yeah. But I remember when I was through school, my stepmother looking in the paper and she found a dishwashing job for me. She thought that all I was capable of was washing dishes in some restaurant I felt very insulted It always surprised me when kids didn't want to get all the education they possibly could. Isabelle motions towards Christina There's only so far you can go in basketball I always felt your education was more important. But as a kid, sometimes you know, you don't see that I knew I tried to teach her to be self sufficient because I knew that she'd only have herself to depend upon. Isabell wanted to give Christina something she never got herself Good education But by depriving Christina of basketball, Isabelle took away just that the time though. She didn't know it What Isabelle did know was that when Christina showed up at her door thirty years ago She was already in her sixties Isabel was old, and if she were to die Christina would be left all alone She'd only become a foster child because no one in her extended family had stepped up to take her in She had no one else What did you know about Christina's childhood before she met you? notot much of anything things that I can remember Like her mother was mentally ll, I guess she knows that, doesnt? And I lost my mother when I was five, and my father eventually had a nervous breakdown, so I knew what it was like to live with a mentally challenged person What was it like? Terrible. It was horrible. You didn't know if someone was gonna to kill you today or tomorrow, or what the heck was gonna to happen. That's not an exaggeration. You really were It it's not an exaggeration. I remember taking my little brother and sister outside and trying to hide them. He was left with five little children. Yeah. And he was terrified that they were going to take the kids away from him I used to sit by his bed and hold his hand, and one day he said to me, Isabel, why do you keep holding my hand in my own way. I was trying to let him know that we all loved him. Isabelle eventually placed her father in a mental hospital I admitted him. Wow. And you were how old? At that time, I was about fourteen. Wow, that's a big burden. Yeah, it was And I thought here, I'm fourteen. what the hell am I doing here All the while, as Isabelle talks, Christina, seated in an armchair beside her, listens quietly, her hands gripping the armrests without looking at Isabellel She makes her presence known I have many memories of visiting my mom in the mental hospital when I was young, like Seven, eight, nine, kind of age, ten It's weird. It's a really weird experience to go. knownowing that the other people are mentally unstable and you can't predict what they're going to do. Yeah. And my mom was, you know, kind of a zombie because of all the medication And obviously it was like sad and upset that she had to be there and wasn't with me Oh Yeah, it was an awful place It makes you grow up way too fast. Yeah. That's right. I mean, I was never a kid until I got married, had my own kids. And then I had a lot of fun raising my own children. Yeah, I think that's why I was a nanny. Bea I could be around kids and have a childhood with all these other children. Yeah, that's what I But I did. I grew up with my own children. That it was my childhood. Yeah You know, I'd play with my children just like I was one of them. Yeah Yeah I did the same thing One day one of the neighbors looked at me one of the little girls and she says, How are you These were stories that neither Christina nor Isabel had ever told each other Watching them connect like this, it feels like a good time to bring the subject back to basketball How much over the past thirty years, Christine has fretted over Isabele's decision? Knowing this now, I ask Isabellel Would you have done things differently Oh, I wish I hadn't known more about it at the time, but I mean, I still have no regrets about it It's as though Isabelle just doesn't understand what the word regret means So I offer a working definition If we were to set off in a time machine where we could return to that time and Christina were to say I know what you're saying, But frankly, I don't know what I'd do. You know, I really don't. It would depend what kind of a mood I'm in. If you are in the mood that you're in right now I really have no idea I could give you a lot of BS and tell you how good it would have been but It wouldn't be been the truth. I think like a lot of people would just give Christina the BS. Yeah I don't do that. I usually tell the truth Like most, I can lie upwards of ten thousand times a day It helps ease the friction of getting through life People ask how I am and I say fine Does this jumpsuit make my ass look fat And I say no And so on lying all day long until bedtime At which point, I'm not sure the lying stops. I can probably lie in my dreams In other words, I hold lying to be the greatest gift God gave to man But even with all of our lies and best intentions We still can't escape hurting one another I don't think Isabelle is a cruel woman But I do think she knows that hurting people and being hurt is the price one pays for being human? There was nothing out of the ordinary in our lives, but just, you know, even ordinary lives are couldould upsetting sometimes The decision that was made when she was younger, it wasn't the right one. But how many wrong decisions are made as we go along Regretting something is a waste of time. You move on. find something else to be passionate about In spite of their similar childhoods, Isabell and Christina see the world so differently Christina is a dreamer And for her, the best possible world is the one that's always just out of reach But for Isabel, It's not about pursuing the best possible world at all It's about making the best of this world. when you're stuck in and evidently with the people you're stuck with I wouldn't look after her, you know, if I didn't care about her, it would have been different, I think , But I was interested in what she did and how she progressed I wanted her to do well at school. do well at everything I was very proud of her when she did She's with us a long time C couldn't get rid of her. I'm just kidding Isabelle pauses, and then she says appraisingly She deserves a good life I do have one Good. And I think it's better because she has some stability in it whichich I feel she got in my house I'll get on that side We say our goodbyes and head to the car. Outside Isabele's, the parking lot has grown dark As we get into the rental car, Christina lets out a sigh Well, so did how did you feel then about that It was just really intense and there's a lot of things that she said that were like that were very hurtful to me It's like she affected me tonight, but not in the way that she used to I didn't get I didn't get the fuzzy teddywere cuddly And that's okay that I didn't get that But what I got was her. and And it wasn't everything I needed. but I feel like That's how she shows love. and it's not with hugs and it's not with I love yous and it's not with praise necessarily either. It's in a way that I understand now whereas before I just felt like She just didn't even like me but now I can see that she loves me in her way. and in the best way that she knows how In the end It seems like this is why Christina came here Not to find out why Isabel made her stop playing basketball. But to find out whether Isabele loved her and in her tough straight shooting, slightly scary way It's pretty clear she does Did you know why I want to go to Skcaa Park? No It's a surprise Uh oh It's not a big surprise The next morning, before heading home, I take Christina and her husband Levi out to a nearby park. What it this?. I have a paper bag I've been carrying with me since Brooklyn. It's a good thing you're wearing running shoes. When the anticipation reaches its zenith, I reveal to Christina and Levi, what's in the bag A basketball, whichich I think they'd sort of guessed since we were now standing by a basketball court, and I was dribbling a spherical paper bag. I turned to Levi Have you ever seen Christina play basketball before? Maybe not. Yeah I don't think you've ever played. Christina says she hasn't played in over ten years. She doesn't even watch basketball on TV anymore I hold out the ball, and Christina looks at it. Then she looks at Levi