Cinema Etiquette and Listener Feedback

William and Jordan are on the way After this episode, catch up with William's other show, the luxury podcast. William and Jonathan Verdnon Smith will have you crying with laughter as they try to educate us all in living a more luxurious life. And in the latest episode, they have a special guest with them, Alan Dedicoat, the voice of Stictly Come Dancing Search for the luxury podcast and get the latest episode lined up to play next. Hello and welcome to our Friday episode. This is where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on and how our advice went down with you A J deers. How are you? What are you doing this weekend? Any football matches? Well, obviously you got the Wor Cup now, aren't we? So No that you're in. Oh no, none that I mean A soccer play part of the World Cup? No You Duff get? No Um What am I doing this weekend? I've got a What am I do? I think I'm doing paddle on Saturday and I've got me Mate Rick coming down with kids on Sunday. N likeight. I t can see Toy Story. I got children Anything to boost sales? Yeah, the gut children. Hi guys, do you get a slice of the profit from Toy Store if it doesn really well? Absolutely not No. Need a better agent. Oh Well, I will let I will pass the ape You are picking battles this way First through William and now with The agent Interesting approach. Yeah, very interesting approach. Mm Oh sorry. how are you How's your weekend looking I'm working on time. Yeah. as I am for the next six weeks. Yeah Western girl Yeah. Double shows on the weekend. How many are doing this weekend? Two. Well, four. four What timees to setat the show? Saturday shows two hundred thirty. We're finished And then the next show, the evening show seven thirty. What'd you do in the c Um getet out. Yeah to get food. Yeah Probably get Mart teini Pop down Wow. Yeah. I don't know. I don't guess it'sound. I haven't done it yet. I haven't I don't know. I'd like to know that. They're grafters those West Eenders. Oh, yes, they do They Itichs every weekend, as obviously know Part of a life of the weekend? One day of a week, Monday Fair enough. Yeah. Now last week we featured a dilemma from a Gean Diva who had dressed up as doctor Who for his wife. His plans went awry when he arrived home in his new outfit and started talking dirty to her without realising her parents were in the next room. t d is doctor Who, that still baffles me. and could hear everything. Now, we are obviously, we know this We're not a sex p. We're not a sex podcast. We cannot wr N stress thaty off. We do all sorts of dilemammas. We had a briefcases last week. Yes. onn Tuesday. It did make us, however, wonder who our listeners's fictional character fancy dress fantasies are. So we asked So we'll see what we can make of your filthy little perversions, it says here. The most common suggestion was ghost face from sccream. A black cloak and rubber mask. Oviously I'malfay there with my operape. I've never used it sexually. He's never wear screamers Halloween I didn't do Halloween. I've never done Halloween. You never dressed up Halloween as a kid. Never Oh my Godd, that explains. We' We lived in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, but you could still we enjoy to local estate and go trick or treat in Yeah,' night U Well, what did you dress up as? Oh also ss did scream? I went as the scarecrow. Me and Wendy often used to clash a hello Scarecrow, what from Wizard of Os? D I told just before. You went as the scarecrow from Wizard of O. I went as a scarecrow Yeah come on. it was knowing you it was wizard of Oz. No it wasn't. It was just Oh my god. actually you and your brothers could be the perfect all of you. One of you could be Dorothy. Who can This is on the back of the postcardy that is. Scarecrow, Tin man and the lion. Oh yeah. S know I went And then get the dog. What's the dog called Kate can be Toto. Oh yeah So I went, she put a broom in me arm. H right And then she stuffed me with straw and stuff, but my dad was away and she didn't drive. I had to walk to her mate. the time I walked there, a old straw had come out So it's just this kid with a broom of it, you look like Jesus. Couldn't get frit doors. You had to go through doors like this. We used to clap me and Wendy used to have what we now laugh at and call creative differences overver food tech and teller it or used to fall out some at rotten over food tech A few people mentioned Spider Man. Now I wonder if they've listened to our episode from twenty twenty two, which featuures a G and Da who end up cheating on their boyfriend with his cousin while he was dressed as Spider Man Jesus Christ I've all been there We've had some we've some weird dark com. I vaguely remember that. Yeah, it was like yeah. I mean, at the time that was we thought that was the most outrageous thing that someone could wr. probably still is up there. shhocking your cousin a spiderm manan. Yeah It's, you know It's still up there. Is it Roxy has a thing for Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks, the nerdy one with glasses. Simon The Roosevelt two ye The Chipmunks, my dad atated that one. Really? Wh? BeCause the voiceices there is heading. What the squeaky bl. C't be doing a app, turning off, turning out. He loves Simpsons. I'm really watching what Simpsons at moment the older's the class. Hello Dr. Simpsons. It' you haveal the time. Whenan I get home from work? Bl hour for of tea. Do you still do your blissz out? You don't really talk about any Blissour for donkeys, as you can tell H like shit. I don't look d shit. I look like shit at the moment, but that's the red But he he love he loved Arthur. Okay, ye. loved he liked T Arnold I loved Kan and Cal He really likeed Johnny Bravo, which says a lot N never like oven the chipmunks. Claire would like her husband to address as Father Christmas as he's her perfect man. onlyn comes once a year. I don't know why. Why is that I It works hard, doesnn't he Father Christmas? he looks after He works all year round to be mother. What is Mrs. Clawuse? Yeah, Dimmy's justs got all else look after. Dimm is Joe. All right. sorry Ron he runs a tight ship, but very fairly, I'd say. Thank you, Ben Ellie's dream is Bob Belcher from Bob's Burgers. Who the Dickens is that? Is that a Simpsons thing? No, it's Bobsberg, Bubs Bops Burgers cartoon. Okaykay, an adult cartoon. Ed would love someone dressing up as Mrter Tumble. He's taken now any, Mr Tumble. Isn't he from CB'? Yeah Do you know we can sell out arenas? That's Justin Fletcher Yeah. ye as well Mums love him Mums look main can keep kids quiet for hf an hour. loveving. Oh good. Who's the other one? She's like a bazillionaire Miss Rachel Oh yeah, ye ye, I've heard Gm you get in remember going around Brays see at kids and she's on and it's like, Hey everybody Now we're going to teach you how to do Iny Winy spider clbed up. you watch't go do is she after five minutes you like. I can't do inluency spider by the way. I could never do it as a kid. Could you? winy spider climbbs up the wall. We used to do Shakesespurs on it. Down came the ra was Oh that's we have a dance move ent Titing like that Oh long was that God? Sven Seven minutes. Seven minutes Is that real Why P. No, you own it, quQ who else? Sarah loves the idea of someone dressed up as the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera. get it that could be quite hot. Yeah, little half mask Well ye, although he has a full dum dum dum dum not phhantom. Dum dum dum dum. Yeah, it is. No, it's not. What was that one then U Well, that's Dracululara. That's not Draculular. I what that is. D dum d d Phantom is d D d d dum No You just sound dum dum dum dum dum at the moment. D d d No d d d d I certain me throw that. That old phantom rightight the back of my throat that fantomom. Well, it gets everywhere. I was I do think now Sorry, you're going to go be be. I know in my head, I know my favorite games to play is, which role are they going to offer me next? And Nice. Aspy. I don't have Aspy. Phantom good I mean I can't sing a note, but it amuses me to think that I could be cast as. think There's other roles out there for you, Ben. I was going to say, I think we should put it out to the G andV as well What role is? Serious William future and also for balance, Jordan And it did make me think I'm not doing my. I ain't gonna dance within me. No, obviously, you know, I could play tall statuuesque roles. you, you could play Paddington Mm Is it Mr. Tumbull Mr. North Children's entertainer I it's ug Also can the shit elouse G and Dvers I have just remembered comomment on sock grade post going, Well, that was good for twenty years now since I've been on it. Have you seen all the posts? I've actually been asked by someone from Soccerade And then all the G andD was stop saying everyvery time I'm on some I'm going, Oh well Sgrade was good well No in their defence that is the wheel is still going. Yes. And you appeared on that last year with me. This morning I'm on This morning You know, this morning, I just the last time you did this morning I was done recently for Summerime Ball. Oh yeah.'s pretty fine. That's still going. This is still going. Yeah. Yeah. everything. You've come on luxury podcasts. We're still going I think it's fantastic work from the G and D. I don't. I think keep doing it. They're doing it with Toy Story five as well. Well, I mean, isn't that true? I mean I swear that every tooy story, they say it's the last tooy story., this was a good for the last tooy story. Anyway, go, I' dressing up it was Abby's ex asked them to dress up as the hairy fairy while he was camp manan? I don't know if that's true. I hope it is. O. hope that's tr. And Rach messaged to say, regarding sexy roleplay, Darth Vader. I once hired a cosplayer for my eight year old's birthday party, and as this guy walked towards the event location, I was so turned on, it was insane. So hot. He was flanked by two stormtroopers as well. I actually dumped the guy I've been seeing for months as I realised I was more turned on by Darth Vader than him. Brilliant What amazing. Okaykay. It took you to a Starship entnterprise Wa, I'm going to go there with that one. There's no p in there somewhere. I hopeP. He could be your father I hope he was Hope got your lightsaber going Mhm. keepep going. What's the big circle ship called in Star Wars? What? Deathar Deathar I hope you got your Millenniam Falcon chocolate star Have you watched any of the films? Yeah,. Starars fil. Now Jordan, last week, you said in my school, this is a direct quote, you were either a skater or a mosher. Or a townie And some G andDers got in touch to tell us who they were at school. Nicholas's school social structure sounded very well organized. They had nerds, middles and uppers Nickola was a middle with friends with both groups Okay. Kate was a nerd and said, My friends and I were fondly referred to as the nerd herd. okay Louise was a sporty geek and said the bullies didn't know what to make of me. Yeah, I was a bit of an in betweenweener, to be fair. I wasn't a geek. that's why I can so relate to the in betweenetweeners That was our group of mens Guine If we do I do believe there are plans afot for us to do this crossover episode with the Madridas podcast thing What actually is an in betweener? Like someone in the middle? It's not quite cool or popular, but not quite Geeky. Okay. Were you in in between her? I can imagine being quite popular actually, especially with the ladies U Andrew was a terrible snob with very few friends. They said, thanfully I grew up Mhm. And Lucy was the emo hell raiser in a very strict Catholic school and ended up giving the church's head priest a heart attack after arguing with him about a religious topic. That is going quite some way to get someone giving them the heart attack Okay, if you were doing school again Would you do anything differently And's anything from I think also we have a responsibility now to talk about academia as the first answer wouldould you study harder Well maybe you studied hard. It did al right in the end. I did al right. No Would you try out an emo fase I used to have my before I sort of push my hair back, I used to literally have my it would fringe. I think I have got it my very first Facebook photograph. I'll see if I can find that Oh yeah, show is that. I'm in a lovely manly pink polo shirt. I want to see. I think I've seen that. It's funny. I asked my mum recently because for Disney Toy Story five They wanted pictures. You notice how I just allowed you to talk about that without making a bitchure comment She said, nightmare We did, they wanted picture me at school and stuff? She sent me a lot of pictures and I went, Ohh actually now they don't want me at school, they want me as a baby She Sent me pictures. I was like she' going, o, weren't you gorgeous I sent her, and then she messed me a week later going, Ohh, I've just realized we think they're dominic I can't tell. I'm like, well, is that me or not or is that our Doms? And obviously there's only a few years between you. She went D't h Did you all look the same? there She said, A grandma said grandma sent me a load of pictures. I'll put one of them up on carousel. And wereere you cute me h. I'll show you. Half of them, half of them, this is the thing as well. Ambolic naked C them neck curtains definitely. It was spotless them neck curtains. Look at that Th't All I'm going to say is at your peril say anything about their neck curtains. toughly. At your peril, lad. That's so lovely This is the phot I was thinking of Oh God my. We'll get them up on the carousel. There's my fringe Okay We've got more of yourails. What does that mean? Messenagers And letters after the break All right, Jane Dammers, than sticking with us. Let's now go on to some of your recent responsors our William Hansson Becky has a Heathrow update, Hi boys. I have just returned from holiday and have been catching up on episodes whilst on my flight home. I was listening to Jordan's philosophies and airport nightmares just as we were coming to land at Heathrow. I then felt the dread of the airport shuttle bus to the terminal. however, much to my surprise, there was no bus. I walked from the plane onto the bridge and straight into the terminal In case Willam was wondering, I flew into Terminal five from Madrid Thanks for always making me laugh on my Tuesday and Friday,ing. It's Becky. Yeah, the thing is, Becky, I could fly from Madrid back to London and I would get a shuttle bus I don't think there is a particular route. I just think it always happens to me that you've got terminal five A gates, then you have a separate building for B gates, you have a separate building for se gates, and then you have what I call D gates and they're not as exciting as you'd think. where you want a D gate. you are basically on a bus and I always seem to get a D gate And you have to wait for everyone to get on the bus, thenen you're cramped, you're standing up, thenen it drives you basically to Gatwick and back well Via then into Eing all the time. Some people can can't even afford to go away once a year. Yes, I'm just saying ve got you've got basically one of the well Western Europe's biggest airports and you're still on a bus. whyy can't we just walk directly into the terminal likeike every other airport. Why do in Britain we have to just make it a little bit shit Beuse that's what makes us great. No, it's what makes us great trreating. We're proud and a bit shit and that's fine. And also I go away for work a lot. so that's why I feel like To be fair, you don't holiday. You should holiday more I'm off Yeahah, you should you should not should. Ask me how many holidays I got the rest of the year. How many? Zero. Oh God You just got back from Greeace. it's find one holiday of the year I think Taris Yeah. Paris a weekend trip does that count? That was work siling that Led so British dania Ellie has got in touch to share some advice in a previous dilemma we attempted to help with, Hello Loly Boys. I' was just listening to your episode, Hel H him Go to Prison, when you were talking about a girl getting her tampon wedged inside her while having sex. This happened to me too, and I was too embarrassed to mention it to the guy at the time. so when I went to the bathroom I used my toothone brush handle to fish it out I abbsolutely think your advice was bang on, but I thought I'd contribute this advice too in case of emergency. Ellie thanks I have nothing to contribute off the back of that, but thank you for letting us know. This is a regular thing T on the chance. If I was a girl, h I'd definitely be a pad type of girl I was at part iPad. The pad. Okay ye Tenor lady I like ten of these, but yeah, you know, like very squeamish. Not with blood or anything, but just things going hasn't stopped before And on the subject of toothbrushes, Wolf has been catching up on previous dilemmas and had this to say. Hi, William and Jordan, I was recently listening to your episode about sharing toothbrushes. I told my girlfriend, also at G and Diva, about this as she was always using my toothbrush. When I told her about how disgusted you both were about it, she replied You don't have a problem with anything else of yours that goes in my mouth. At least one is cleaned and washed every day I can stop putting in both if that helps. Please help me explain how one is different from the other. She's done you there, well, will I'm afraid Wolf, I'm on your girlfriend's side. She's done you' there. Yeah. And if you're not washing and cleaning anything every day sort your life out. In fact I would say toothbrush gets done twice a day. Yeah, but still that's minimum. No He shouldn't cheip toothbrush with p I No I wouldn't at all no. Matthew has an etiquette conundrum that Jordan might now be well placed to answer. Hi William Jordan and crerew recently I found myself with an etiqute question that given Jordan's new starring role into Toy Story five, might Oh heo. Don't sit there I was that the line? I haven'ten it yet.. Not't seen it yet. That's one of my lines. Oh Go and give us another one. As of now, I'm give spoiler that giveiv it away Can ask Can I ask a question? I to do loads of sipping. Oh, really? that's disgusting. Half an hour was making sipping noises So how you got the job. And Now I can't ask that question. it's me. No c. No No. and I don't know becauseuse I'm gonna to get a attack for the. Oh no. And by the way,e William text me, right? William texts me saying I'm sorry He went, daring, I'm sorry if I wasn't for your toy story. I was like, you were you were I say Okay, N not quite the words I use, but okay. You always say this whenever I quote yah. I don't becausecause you don't quote me No. I don't have to quote your words word. You're so pedantic and annoying sometimes, which whatever. You always do this whenever I Shall I read out actuallyually it wasn't Tuesday, It was a Wednesday. I didn't quite say it like that Doesn't matter, right? You seent me a lovely message and I No, it's fine. You went there's a few comments saying that we were mean to you. You weren't mean. Look I give it just as God. This is our thing. Yes. It's our thing. Yeah. And we all take the piss out of each other. you're actually very lovely. Thank you very much likeikewise When I to tell a story and go? Actually, I didn't say when was it. I said where was it? It doesn't matter. Let it go. Okay. Eight years that's been building up But I'm glad you've got it out now. Love you to bit. Love you too. Matthew has an Atite conundrum, which we're still on. Jordan's got a roll Toyy five, etceter. My missis and I went to the cinema, ordered some drinks and went into the screen to take our seats. So which cup holder is yours the left or the right one? Great question. I used the acronym that I was always taught BMW, breadmal water or wine from left to right. so I put my drink on my right side as it's easy to ac as being right handed and from the majority of the population I just wanted to know if there is a correct side to save the awkwardness of someone accidentally sipping from my drink in the dark or me doing the same. Cheers daddies Qion. Okay. Yeah, would I see your logic there, but some people are left handed, etceter justust talk to the person you're sitting next to and decide which works. Next time, Aean David wasone simimerar. if youre listen to this going today, just check the last One, I'm sure it'll be on the left. the last M Pa So if it's the last oneess on the left or on the right, then you'll know it's left, al right, won't you Yeah, that makes sense. But also it's very quite good for me. That' quite clever for me, So clever. It's also very rare. I would say that you're in a cinema unless you're on my opening day Every single seat is taken. so potentially it shouldn't be an issue. Let's finish with our comment of the week. This can be from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials. The honourable mentions go to Rachel who this is after you went on a rampage last week by asking Oox to play a variety of songs designed to wake up all the G andDivers who fall asleep listening to us. Rachel commented Can confirm this episode wreak havoc on my Ooel Jaamie enjoyed our brand new feature sweet Little eyes, but had some critique to our methodology saying, William's logic for figuring it out if Ben was lying or not is clearly flawed for Ben has no imagination. I do think you know it is hard. No, you know when you know, when you watch a horror film. You'd have to wear those socks. You know, when you watch a horror film and the kids color in and like the kids are a bit messed up, it's just like glack Dark truck, That's what Benare reckon was like at school. It's really dark drawings are in black and white and a bit scary But our comment of the week goes to George, who knows how to appreciate proper humor and commented I feel William's joke of What dny I think I miss this one. I'm sorry. a lot of your jokes do go on the head. He's actually laughing at his own jokes. Can I say in titaning rehearsals I was saying to Stewart earlier? Oh shut your faces go. This is one of the things I'm really struggling with. If I do a funny ad liib, I then sort of just like we do on sex studage