Wedding Rules and Podcast Sleep Aids

There's lots of very funny dilemmas coming your way in just a moment. You can watch every episode of Help I Sex with my boss too. From Jordan's attempts to be a YouTuber back in twenty ten, seriously the second, hand embarrassment is real. To William's reaction to seeing a fanny for the first time, there are so many brilliant moments that you need to see. Search for help I sex with my boss on YouTube and hit subscribe so you don't miss an episod e . Hello and welcome to Help I Sexted My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life, answering your twenty first century questions and finding solutions to everyday dilemmas, like what should you do if your member is so ginormous it makes people jealous ? Or how' youd come to terms with the fact that you're such a short king they've cast you as a gnoming toy story ? And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss? But we're not your usual agniance. Are we William Hanson? No, we're not Jord inan North. I'm Dick more Byow, you're more Ikey No. And that's rude. Very good. Very good. And you are joining us as we're in our brand new studio. Look at this . Yes. Look at this. This was a joint interior design effort for me and William, and I think it's fair to say it's worked quite well. Yes. Now we'll describe it for audio listeners. You can obviously see it on YouTube. So we've got big marble pillars and this big sweeping staircase. No MDF inside. No, no, it's not. It's red, it is sort of Brothel Meets Post Office is probably how I would describe this set . Brothel meets post office. Yes, you're color blinds so actually can you see any of the colour in this? It's a deep rougie red, I'd say. It is. Is it a rougie red? Yeah , it's it's a clarity. It's not a clarity that is it? No, it's not a clarity It's a good red though. I'll tell you about a new table as well. Talking of a good red, I'm pouring the gin in a bono that gin has remained the same. If you want to of course see the new studio, you can look at our socials or you can look on YouTube. Lovely. Anwyay, how are you haven't seen you for a couple of weeks? Oh, how was your holiday? How was Greece? Did you mount Olympus? No, I didn't mount it. No, it's no because actually turns out Mount Olympus is nowhere near Greece. Oh, so we didn't go anywhere near it, sadly. But let's toast before, I tell you all about my holiday , let's toast Mirella by her sister Anna Lisa, who wrote in to say, Please can you raise a toast to my sister, Miriela, who recently got the keys to her first home. We have plans to drink a few fizzy lizzies, listen to the podcast and unpack. We're huge fans of the pod and have been to your live shows in Manchester and Sheffield and quote all of you too many times. Thank you so much, Anna Lisa. So this is to you, Miriela, homeowner at last. Congratulations. Congratulations . Lovely, how does the d taste in the new home? Oh, it's great Why are you pulling that face? A bit more of a kick. I might have gone a bit too strong with the gin. That might be more of a fifty fifty. That's a strong gin in the butter. I'm not going to lie. Yes. Anyway, god, sounds about your holiday. What'd you get up to? Well, Greece, I'd never been to Greece before. So it was sort of uncharted territory for me and it was very nice. Love meet beautiful people . They're lovely, they're very welcoming, they're very hospitable . The airport at Athens was very efficient, I thought. So that's nice. What's the sign of a good holiday? Yes , both coming and going. Are you on the mainland then? Yeah. Just on the Athens Riviera. Oh, really? I don't know if that's officially called it, but on a peninsula just down from Athens, you didn't do one of the islands. What weather like? What weather like? It was very nice, thank you. Yes, it was sort of it was about twenty officially twenty four twenty five, but it felt a bit warmer . So that's lovely. Gentle breeze. And I got into something that I'd always been a little bit cautious of. I don't know whether you're like this with swimming , I would much prefer to swim in a pool than the sea . Do you have a preference ? I like both . I feel there's something about swimming in the sea that feels fresher air is always great the night. You know, when you've been swimming at sea and then you go and do your air before you go out for tea. Okay. It's really nice. Right. You tell I've been back home. Yes. Yeah. If you can quite I've heard it on myself. I 'm not I used to not like sort of swimming in the sea because you never know what else is around you. Yeah . And we've all seen certain films and that always goes through my head. Fresh you feel more alive after swimming. What you do is flipping cold, but anyway, in Grease. Yeah, but it was very blue to be fair. And we could you could sort of see what was around you. So I felt more reassured. And they said to me as I was getting in on the first day and I was like, Oh, you know, because there were all the markers in the water, the boys sort to of mark it out. And they said you've just got to stay and sight the boys. And I said, Well, I don't need to be asked twice and in I went . And I bet you thought oom swimming om I must write that in the notes on my phone. Yep, I did exactly that. Yes. Hm m. So I was in there every day. Okay. How often would you swim every day like ? Oh, no just once a day. Oh, just once a day. And then I did the pool for the rest of the time , which is nice. Read a few books, finished that on Anthony Horritt's book, a deadly episode that I talked about a few weeks ago. Love that. Finished off my book on Queen Elizabeth. Oh wow. That's not me writing one. That's me reading a book by you guys. It's just because Mike wasny't there for the first few days. Mikey exactly wasn't there for the first few days. No, I'd finished the queen the book in the latter half of the holiday when Mikey was present. So he texted me and he was on his own and I felt a bit tight on your book Mikey wasn't well bless,ed. He wasn't very well. And it was a decision made right at the last minute when it was too late to cancel the holiday. And went, you go and I'll join you in a couple of days. So what did you do for the first few days? I stayed inside the boys? I quite like the thought of just going on the day of reading book something, but what did you do? It was look for two days, it was fun. I did say to Mikey when he then eventually came on day three, I was like, first two days, I was like, Oh, this is a novel . And then after that, I was like, No, I couldn't do a whole week on my own . I reckon I could. Did you eat on your own? Well, yeah, I mean, instead after death. Yeah. No, but did you go down and we just 'cause I think that looks very chic. You just there we have books. Yeah, I have no problem meeting on my own. I know some people get a bit hit up about it. I would if there was loads of people in there. That's the only thing that put me off. I'd probably go about five six o'clock when no one else's in there. I did get. I know it's hard to believe now, but I did get a little bit of a tan . Although I felt really bad because on like day five, I got in the lift. I was in the lift and it stopped off a different floor and some American men came in and they sort of started chatting . And they said and they said to me, how do you manage it? And I said, How do I manage what? And I said, To stay so pale . And I was like, this is David Dickinson in comparison to what I normally am. If you actually see the video, I don't want to go on about it all the time , but the video I filmed to announce me in Titan E was filmed in Athens. I think I look really bronzed in that video. I thought it was makeup. No. I didn't even take my makeup with me. Oh, really? That was raw. Wow. Raw on the rocks. Oh, talking. Drama. So when Mikey was , so there were different parts of sort of the beach and the pool and stuff and the staff, when they were sort of transporting sort of food or drinks or towels or whatever, they had like bikes, but trice they were in effect glorified tricycles . And they were sort of very wide paths. Anyway, Mike and I are sort of walking back from the pool back to our rooms room and we sort of there was a young female member of staff on her bike and you know, they're all very polite and say hello . And the next and she goes past us. And bear in mind, the path is as wide as this studio . The next thing I know, we hear the most almighty crash and she has come off her bike literally onto the rocks. Oh no. I mean, we thought she was a goner. She's fine. Mikey's be dramatic? No, it was. I was like she thought, Oh God, last thing I needed is two dramatic gaze. here Excuse me louder than me. I think if you use took a photograph of the rocks. In fact, Mikey has got not at the time. This is the next day . Mikey has got a picture of him pointing to the rocks, which we potentially will put on our carousel . But it was very dramatic. She cut her legs. I mean, it really was serious. And we were all shouting so yeah, bad on you for laughing. We were all in hell. Did you not go over and help her? Yes, we did. I pulled her off the rock. She was floody. Yes. She was fine, no broken bones, she was fine. We inquired about her a few days later. She was fine. She was American. No, she was Greek. Oh , I remember itself , but yeah, it was pretty dramatic. It could have been a thousand times worse. When I got run over on a bike by an Italian lady? I'm sorry. Just broke. You got run over on a bike an Italian lady. Is the nationality of the woman relevant? Because I assume she's telling 'cause she 's lucky you. I was on a run , came up between two cars , and then she crashed into me. We both went flying. She'd come off and she just kept going shemo, shemo, shemo and I worked out she was Italian from that. I assume she was Italian. She was like from Barnesley and added her head and woke up Italian. Oh, really? And that happens, you know? Does it? Okay. So about this woman who had to hit her head and then broke with a Chinese accent. Oh, I have seen that. Yeah. It all goes on. Yeah. You're alright? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Whilst you were away we, had a game of five or six. Yes, I picked up on this and I thought, I sort of thought, do I feel annoyed? I was like, No because I was on a sun lounger in Greece having a nice time and also football. So in preparation for soccer eight that would have happened when this episode's gone out , but as we're recording, it's happening this weekend. Prouser Penn and I had a game of Fiverse. Oh, lining legs over here . He looked like someone. You on the same team? It looked like someone from the nineteen eighties had shorts up to his like the shortest shorts I've ever seen . And it was like 'cause it was and no offense to anyone that played 'cause I appreciate everyone because it was at one o'clock on a Monday, on a Tuesday. And obviously it was quite hard to get people together because most people have proper jobs. Yeah . So you can imagine at one o'clock the reprobates that turned up like and I mean this and I owe him all the favour is his mate who's unemployed came ? I'm ladin' gym and MDM on Instagram and his brother turned up. They were like, honestly there were yeah, and Adam and James my, two mates who actually, play football, they sort it out their side, but our side, we'd never met before. It was yeah. So you and Ben were on the same side. Have you got a new microphone in the new studio Ben? Same old microphone. So we had a game . What score was it? It was like nine seven in the ends to them. Yeah, we nine seven Yeah, it was quite a lot. That's normal in five or side. Yeah , that's pretty normal in Five aside. Jordan was quite good actually. Do you think that? Yeah. I think you'll struggle when you sort of compare yourself against Wayne Rooney, but compared to Mitan compared to the other borders, I thought you did alright. There's a moment where I mean Ben looked at each other's lesson f fromilm the because we had to swap keepers and I sloped in, please let me go in there for ten minutes. Oh could catch me breath. I was breathing out the arse. You were good in gold as well. I was alright in there . That's what I wanted to do. No, I want to goed in there, but Joe Marla took it. Yeah. So in his hands. Yeah. So have you been told what position you are? No . How does Joe Marla know he's in the goal? Because he's kept his goal easy as a one. All right. But I'm worried because I'm missing the first day training 'cause I'm doing toy story and stuff. Now that I'm a toy story star . So I'm going to worry that I'm going to turn up on the Friday and they're all gonna be a bit late, right ? Let's see what he's made of and they're gonna pass it to me and it'll go off through my legs. But Ben, Ben wasn't a bad player. Was he not what position was he? Well, in five aside, you're everywhere. He needs to work on his tracking if I'm honest. What's that? You didn't track your man back enough for my liking. Wow. You were like you were he was okay. You let your man go a bit bearing in mind he didn't previous day I ran a half marathon . So I realized this and I was like we're playing football was this on your day off? Yeah . Also, can I ask and I've played five side a lot, right ? And can I ask how I ended up in a shower? I'm sorry. Sorry. I ended up showering with the opposite team fly . Your honor genuine . So they were like So I said goodbye to you Race as he was there and then I went to get a bag and it was in the change room. They're all walking around Bollico and Are you jumping at your shower George? And I went, Oh no, I'm just gonna go home and he went, You coming for a pine? I went, yeah, I will do. I said, I tell you what I get your pine for making efforts come down. I appreciate you. So I didn't caught out that pitch out and that . And he went, You're gonna get in shower and I went, Oh, I'll be ready. I'll just put some towels in here. You can't keep popping out of the shower. So I can end up jumping in with them all . And then I didn't have a towel. So I had to use one of their toes. It was all yeah, all just happened. Sorry. Yeah . How did I end up in the shower with the opposite team . If you do ever end up in therapy, there is even more to talk about now. It's just anyway, we went for was it a shared shower? Yeah, it was like an open one. Good is like. It was afterwards. All of that team were in there . Show up. They were proper footballers though. Yeah. They were proper football. Like they all play like semi pro and so how are you feeling about soccer? Shit myself. No, really. And is that now soccer? Is it a proper like ninety minute match? I'm assuming I'm going to be a sub because they ask me what walk I'm using. I assume you will be. Yeah . So a substitute . So that's I think if you if you come on as a sub go for goal. That's my go for as in switch with Joe Marla. No as in shoot . Okay , go for your like go for your glory moment. Shoot. Yeah. Okay , than youk for playing. I appreciate it. Jack you dead to me. Jack was in for a delivery. What's that all about? It was meant to be made. The house reader gave me life two days later. Well, it was at one o'clock on . And he has a job. I was stiff as opposed the next step for two days in the shower. I was so stiff. To be able to have the bath. Right. Who more read next door before you asked. Okay. Wow. You really know. Yeah. I was honestly, I was in agony. Were you not better? Yes. How old would you play in five aside? fifty minutes? fifty minutes each half. That's in total. I'm interested in Total Take Fine. Yeah. Talking about preparations? Yes. How are you ready for Tai Tini? My West End Debut. No West End debut. Well, no, technically it's not because you've been at the Well, it's been marketed as that, so we'll go with it. Oh, I well, I mean, look, we did two nights at the London Palladium. I'm doing forty eight shows, so and you've not mentioned it. I cannot Excuse me. I can 't excuse me. I cannot wait for you to be four weeks in absolutely fucking knacka denarcy and just I just can't wait because I'm not gonna say I'm just gonna give you a look that you do me. I'm just gonna go . When you mention Toy Story five , I said nothing just then. No, no, no, no, I am so proud of you and the reaction you got was huge. But I'm just saying I can't wait for you to be to be four weeks in and well you've got weeks to wait work a proper day. That's all I'm going to say. You do work very hard actually . Thank you very much. So you're doing forty eight shows. Yes. That means that your final performance will be your fiftieth performance on the West End. There we go. Yes. That's quick master. No, I'm loving it. So at the time of recording, we're a bit odd sorry. Rachel Reilly in the corner . At the time of recording , I've done three days of rehearsals . I should actually be in rehearsals as we speak , but there are some other drama queens I needed to spend my day with. So here I am. And the cast are gorgeous. They are so lovely. You snagging them all day music. Oh, shut up no I wasn't but no, they're all lovely . They are being what is interesting is, which I think is a compliment, is they are talking to me as if I have, like they have, done proper training. I have not done proper training in anything, basically, but they'll say and then on account of four we go to position two and I'm like sorry sorry what that mean? Or they go and now you do a pardon bearer and a tom to close. I'm like okay yeah I'll do that. That's fine. And I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. And when watching the rehearsal videos and know you are not watching the rehearsal videos because I look ridiculous , I'm sort of like two beats behind everyone else. In many ways, I have become you on the tour in the dancing in that there's lots of lovely dancing. I don't want to dance in the first place. There's lots of lovely dancing going on and then it's sort of it's like on a bit of a delay with me. But it is great fun . It's a hilarious show . sort of My monologue breakdown thing that we did yesterday for the first time got a massive round of applause from the four people that were sitting in the audience and I'm very excited for everyone to come and see. Okay , so yeah, I enj'oyming it. But in other news in other more exciting news. I don't want to make this all about me , but as you might have seen on social media , I've written a novel. You have. And my novel, it's out next year , so don't don't stand outside waterstones just yet , but you can pre order it now if you so wish. I've written a murder mystery. What's it called? It's called a fatal forking. A fatal a fatal fork not a fatal forking? A fatal fork a fatal forking . It's, you know, cozy crime is quite popular , always has been Angeta Christ, et cetera. I am moving the genre on and I'm doing camp crime. Is it camp? It's campish. Yes. Can I get to have a preview? You can't tell you what , you can have a proof copy there. We'll ready in about a month. I'll read it and then drop me to give you a little. I mean, you're too big for me now. I remember back in the day when I used to be on the back of your books . But now you were on the Bluffers guide to entertaining. Yeah. Yeah, ye.ah Now, you don't want to know me. I used to have red black if you blurred me your name and homes. We'd do it alright for ourselves . Look at you now. Look at us both now . Neither on this morning . But I'll read it I would no because you do read pictures. It's too big for me now. I do read fiction. Yeah. I do read fiction, so I genuinely would be interested in your take on it. It's too late to change it if you don't like it, but anyway, it sounds fun. It's a fun read. A fatal forking. I thought it was going to be called something else. Originally it was called something else, yes, but I was told it was one word too long. So it was going with a fatal form. Listen to producers and publishers were there. Well, I think do publishers do actually know what they're talking about is to fight back , stand your ground. I like a facial forking because it's getting every time I announce it's getting to like friends and family. It gets a little titter . So that's quite yeah. It's about anet Ehticiqu coach that gets framed for murder. I have absolutely no idea where I got the idea from. Anything else going on in your life? Oh good. Yeah. But I've not been framed for murder. I just want to point that out. I've not been involved in any murder. I'm going to Amstradam on a Friday you know why I'm going to Amsterdam on a Friday because I've only ever been when I went on dog right when I first recorded the first ever episode of this the week the Monday after piss And I'll call I always remember at the Taninthking this is a beautiful city. There's a lot going on. Just in and out of pubs and certain establishments pissed. Certain windows. Shit fit. I never can't remember much going down that way. No, I'm sure now eight years later you'll have a very different experience . So I'm going to go and enjoy it and it is January. Amsterdam, I think, gets slightly besmered because your average person thinks of that side of Amsterdam. And yeah, that all goes on. But it is perfectly possible to be in Amsterdam. You're in a window. It is perfectly possible to go to Amsterdam and not see any of that. And it is a beautiful city. The Dutch are great. I've always said it if Britain got bombed or destroyed or disappeared, I would go and live in the Netherlands. I think I got sense of humor in the Dutch. Oh yeah . Yeah. You'd have to wear them fucking clogs, wouldn't you ? To be fair . Yes. Yeah . You have a lovely time. I can give you some nice recommendations. Thank you for departure well. Yes. We're going waffle making on Saturday Waffle making? Yeah, don't ask . I just me I like to wander about, go and get a coffee, read my book, have a wonder , find a pub, go back, maybe swimming pool if it's in Out Waffle Making . Yeah, that sounds a bit shit. I'll be honest. And I'm not sound good because a few mates going as well. Are we allowed to eat the waffles after? Let me check. Let me check. If I'm not eating that waffle? Yeah, I was gonna say waffle making . No. I work long hours. Like I want to be waffle making on Saturday morning, eleven o'clock waffle making . To be fair, Monday to Friday it's waffle waffle waffle. Exactly. I waffle enough. Yeah. Weekend. I don't want to waffle at the weekend. There's certain people listening that like to do like little organized fun and stuff Last time I went to Greece we booked the paddle boards all board after twenty minutes . Is that great? Yeah, I've done it. Well, look, the studio is not the only thing that's new on Helper Sext My Boss. We thought it was time to introduce a new feature . Now before we get a flurry of complaints , this doesn't mean to say that we are getting rid of Jordan's jolly joke of the week, sadly. Love you right to? Or Williams Ede ology? We're just going to put a third one into the mix to spice things up a bit because you know, when things get a bit tired you of,ten introdu ce the third. So Jordan . Would you like to reveal the name? Yeah, if you came to one of our talk shows, you might have seen a player's version of this on stage where our wonderful gene Devis on stage. So it's our newest feature called sweet little Lies Cue the Jingle. We got a jingle . Three tall tales you won't believe to a pure dishonesty . One is true, but which one can it be? Just tell the sweet little lies in me . I love it. Who was that? Who's that? That's lovely Stephen. Let's have it even time . You're not on stage now. Told tales you won't believe to a pure dishonesty . One is true but which one can it be? Just tell the sweet little li es of me , we're buzzing for this. I wasn't sulking at the start of the episode or anything regarding it. So you know me, I'm not one to I embrace change. Yes, yes . So here is how this works. Jordan Ben sorry , Jordan, Ben and I sake, we'll each read a statement about ourselves. We'll all be trying to persuade each other that our statements are true, but two of us will be lying through our teeth. So it's like that BC one trill. Yes, yes. It's then up to the three of us to decide who is telling the truth and which have been telling sweet little lies. Jordan you'll go first, we'll read our statements and then after the break we'll put it to a debate . Alright, I'll go first. As a child, I won an egg and spoon race at school whilst wearing my shoes the wrong way wrong way round. Can't even say it. I was once going to be the new Kimanagi for TV . I stepped in dog poo this morning. Join us after the break to find out who's been telling some sweet little lies . All right, J evis, welcome back before the break. We were playing our newest feature. Sweet little lies don't worry, Jordan's Dolly Joke of the Week and Williams Edettology of the Week are gonna be back as well. I've got a good one for you next week as well. Oh no, we're not doing it next week. It's every weeks. No, I've got a good S MOREY. Oh, is it not Joelly joke 'cause I've got some crackers not anymore. Do you mean no anymore? Just decided it. Three statements, two lies one truth. We've got to figure out who's been telling sweet little lies. William remind us of our statements, please. Mine was, I was once going to be the new Kimanagi. Mine was as a child, I won an egg and spoon race at school. They're wearing my shoes, the wrong way. I can't say wrong way round, wrong, way brown and Ben. I stepped in dog poo this morning. So tell us about that it was in the shoes that you're wearing now. No, it was my it was in my boots that I go for a walk with Diego every morning. Oh, I see. Was it Diego's poo? It wasn't Diego's poo , it was left along the path on the way to the dog walk that I do around Hackney Downs Park. Okay, now I can tell that he's lying. Do you know how I can tell? Because of how his eyes went . So when are you right or left handed? I'm right handed. Yes, I thought you were. So when talking about when someone's eyes go if they're right handed go to the left, so they're left, so the right as I look at Ben, but they're left, you're accessing your imagination, which is in the left hand part of your brain, whereas when they go to the right, you're going to the recalls. So Jordan, Egg and Sporay sounds very posh for your sort of school, if I'm honest. We did that every summer. Did you? And was it a proper egg or what sort of spoon was it plastic? Presumably? We always had those rubber ones. Yeah, exactly. And you won it, you managed to not only compete in it, but you won in it wearing shoes the wrong way around. Is that even possible? I feel that's a fun social media video we should do at some point is try and get Jordan to an accident. We could add the shoes on the wrong way round. You were how old at this point? Seven, maybe eight ? Okay, fine. Who came second? I don't know. Lady . I can't even remember who was his head boy . His shoes up wrong way around. I just remember having them wrong way around and winning it. Kind of helped me , you know, like cyclists have those helmets that come right down pointy once. I think it helps me for aerodynamic reasons. Having them on the wrong way. Well, I actually know the answer to this one. Ronaldo's telling the truth. He's forgot about this. Watch. It's you because I was how did you know that? I was at one of the dinosaurs in Manchester and we just finished dessert. Oh, God . And you declared to the table, I'm going to be a TV star. Excuse me, I don't think I wouldn't be me and Lucas and Darryl, and I think Mikey was out at the time. I think Stuart No, I don't think it was. It was Mikey. And you made us watch the full twenty seven minutes for your pilot. I'm going to be ITV . Spring cleaners. That's what it was. I remember it, yes. So there. I used to have that. I don't have it anymore, so we cannot find it. And it's probably very legal if I shared it. So do you remember that? Did you really step in dog poo? No. That was a lie. Okay. Not today. Well, you did really do a egg and spoon race with two shoes around the wrong way? I never hate it. Very Jordan coach. I hate to spot say, but I did used to get my shoes on the wrong way rather a lot as a child. Okay. It's good to know. Now it's time for us to help you with your modern day dilemmas Remember we have no idea what is coming up. This is from Dan whilst doing the laundry I found a receipt for a sauna in my fiancee's pocket. I generally thought chariots were some new Roman theatre production, but my friends quickly informed me that it is in fact a well renowned sex establishment. Now I have been told you can simply pop in for coffee and cake or perhaps a quick workout. However, I'm fairly certain more than a workout was taking place , mainly because neither of us could reasonably be described as gym fit, and I'm sure there are far better slices of cake elsewhere. I think I used to live near there. It's in Paddington. It's got like Greek . I've never been in, but oh, I think I know where you meet. Yeah, didn't really wear that flat you ? Yeah, it was lovely on the inside. Yeah, it isn't it . Anyway, go on. I'm completely unsure how to approach this. One part of me wants to place his cloner willy in there and see who recognizes it. Although I do appreciate that this may not be the healthiest way to handle the situation. I generally don't know how to open this conversation up and would really appreciate your collective wisdom on the matter . Well there we go. Ooh I think you need to just yeah say look foul because if you let that one faster it',s going to bug you and bug you. Yeah, you fester in. If you're not being honest with each other, then it's not it's not gonna work. No . So I think you do need to talk. Yes, I agree. Just literally sit them down and go, I want to talk about this. Yeah. I want you to respect , you know, I might say something that upsets , but forgive me, my insecurities are talking and lay it all out. You might be a reasonable, you might go all the time. Chariots are good. I know they could have been buying something . They could have literally been buying a chariot. You never know. We all need them. Yeah, this is from Anonymous. To the best solution sluts I and the world have ever known. Year by. A quandary comes in the form of embarrassment. One Saturday afternoon after the wife told me I needed to be a bit more spontaneous in the bedroom, I decided to go down to my local fancy dress shop . The wife always had a thing for David Tennant as doctor Who? I interviewed him this week. Did you? It was last . He's good. So I purchased a costume to look like David Tennant. The costume came with a sonic screwdriver included. I just know where this is going. I drove home and upon pulling up into our road, I popped the costume on knocked on the front door and she answered the door to me saying permission for Dr. Who to take a ride in your tardus class? Ignoring her frantic waving. I kept on talking, completely unaware that her mum and dad were in the living room and could hear everything. Her mum saw the funny sight and after an hour of making me feel awkward, said to my father in law, Come on, let's go. Something tells me he didn't know we were coming over for a bit today. I would have stelled it out. So my dilemma is, how do you make amends to my father in law? I clearly scar him for life. We used to get on, but now it's just awkward pleasantries. How do I go about rekindling that former son in law father in law bond? Anonymous You could have been , you know , there's worse sex costumes. Take it, take your fart, I'm gonna sound like you. Take them out to pub , take them out for a drink. Some have a bonding tight. No, no, no, don't talk about it. British for God's sake we're not going to talk about in your daughter as doctor Voice. No, but just take him out and sort of spend some quality time with him. Yeah, just don't worry about it. Look, it all goes on and he should like, come on, you're together. And that's your wife's daddy doesn't even think about that when it comes to that. And it was Time is a great healer. No, that does . Yeah . But also there's a Now I won't hear bad words about David Tennanton. It's one of my favorite cast on doctor as well. Would a David Tellon costume do it for you? Oh, surely there's somebody, but he's had her own whom I to judge. What fantasy dress character do you think is sexy? You came as Sean Dich I ab'sdolutely sm ash your backdoors in . You came ashore Mendoz, I'd smash yours in. Then you'd be needing. That was a joke. Oh God . Really? I'm off to find a Sean Diich costume. I just talked all over your joke but we've heard many attempts. That's fine. Our next dilemma is from Charlotte, dear William and Jordan. I'm getting married next August. It's a small wedding with just twelve close family members and friends invited. Is it common for me to write a list of rules for guests? If so, how do I tell guests that talking with food in their mouths will not be tolerated and I should not be held responsible for my actions if I witness anyone doing so? I think it is the most disgusting habit, but something that unfortunately several of the guests invited do. I fear I may not be able to stop myself from punching anyone I see doing such a disgusting act on my special day. I feel physically sick, even thinking about it. Not inviting these people is unfortunate ly not an option, as one is my partner's mother. Thank you in advance longtime Jane Diva, Charlotte. I mean, Charlotte, you're lucky to get twelve close family members at your wedding, bloody yell. Yeah . It's a bit. Well, could you not do that? No, I'm saying you'd want to go to a wedding . What? It's a bit harsh, isn't it? Well , I would say I mean look maybe Sharlotte you can't, you know, forget it. It's like you've got misterr M Mofia or whatever it's called. Mr Fonia? Misophonia, Charlotte. You should go doctor Flax. I knew Mr Phonia was one of my teachers at school. Charlotte, you should go, honestly, this sounds like it's because nobody likes when people talk to them , but the fact that they feel sick, genuinely, I'd go doctors about that because if it's earplugs, maybe no, no, no, 'cause star your head s like sounds like you're in your head a bit about it, my love. So I'd definitely got doctors about it. It is disgusting hearing people eat. No, she's not. It's more people talking with a mouth focus. Well, yeah,, but okay well hearing the meat slash. Talking with a mouth. Yeah, but they shouldn't be doing that . But this is where potentially money aside, you have a bigger wedding because then that sort of dilutes the awareness. You don't think you can send roles, can you, etiquette expert? I wouldn't speak to did you? No, I didn't. I mean, I told people what to wear, but I didn't. You have many rules. Maybe here we go, Charlotte. Hire me, Me, I'll go around. Do you know what? It is your special day . You get your fiance seems to be husband just to send a text to remind everyone. Just say, Hey, really looking forward to you coming, just like, you know, Charlotte is Lol a bit extra when it comes to people talking with a mousefold. Just make sure you don't do it. It's something that we're trying to work on together as a couple . She really doesn't like it, makes me feel sick, so you can just bear that in mind. Get the old job's a good one. Get it. Get the husband to set one for the team. That's what I do. This next dilemma is from Liv Hello William Jordan, EPB and the whole crew. like Just William Jordan, I've recently hired our first gardener. He's a lovely cheery person and does an incredible job in the garden. But he's the biggest yapper. I work from home and he comes every six weeks for three hours. When he arrives, he spends ten minutes telling me about his week and other jobs he's been doing, which is interesting to hear about, and if that was the only chat we had, that would be fine. Whilst he's doing the work, he will pop in to ask me various questions, which I appreciate him double checking what work needs to be dumb, but every time he does this he will then go on another ten minute tangent about something else. He always gets the job done in the end but all the chatter interrupts my work day. I'm too polite to tell him I need to get back to work so I just end up standing in the kitchen smiling and nodding at his anecdotes wishing I could get back to being productive. He's even aware he does it as halfway through the conversation he'll say oh sorry I'm blabbling on and then we'll continue to tell him another story. We've only had him come over twice so far and now I'm dreading the next session as it's so disruptive to my day. I have to be home to let him in as we don't have rear access to the garden. The introvert part of me just wants to hire someone else but I'm not really sure what to do. Any advice would be appreci . Thankate it you, Liv. That would be annoying if they're in and out. I think you might have to hire someone else paul blog. He sounds like a lovely fellow, or could you go up to your room while he's in for three hours? Could you have a desk upstairs so he can't come on? I think you just have to say and advise you do your ten minute chat, which is fine. I think you have no problems with that. That's what you've said. And then you just go , I've got lots of calls today. If you need any questions answering, text me and then you bury yourself away in your spare bedroom or your office, wherever it is. Yeah, or just say if you need anything, just take pop the tea and coffee out on the side, help yourself. Hopefully he'll get the hint. And if he doesn't get the hint after this next one, then maybe go on to someone else. Yeah . We'll finish with this dilemma from Chloe. Hey Dilemma, Dadd,y I have trouble sleeping. Hey Daddy . Hey Daddy what the hell even is that? Daddy Chill . I have trouble sleeping because my busy brain doesn't like the silence so after I've listened to your latest episodes I'll then use them with a sleep timer to fall asleep like white noise. William's voice is especially soothing. In last Tuesday's episode, Jordan announced that Alexa played a certain song, which my Alexa device in my bedroom picked up on, and did as instructed and scared the living shit out of the entire household. What was it? Safe to say it took a while to fall back asleep and after that I know not to use that episode in future. So what should you do when your favorite podcast and bedtime sleeping companions start scaring you in the middle of the night. Lots of love, Chloe. Alexa, play Alicia Dickson, the boy does nothing . Thank me later. Don't be horrible, people . That's a nice song. But people listening. Alexa, switch off. People be listening to this in bed. Jordan, switch off . Oh , good God, eight years that's taken. If only . And many people listen to us in bed. A few people have said, Oh, have you all in bed every night and stuff like that? So sorry about that, Chlo e. Yeah. Yeah solves. But yeah, you could I don't know if there's a way to delete that down there. Alexa, play slip knot, I'm joking. Alexa stop, don't, don't, don't. Alexa stop, Alexa stop that's not funny if you're in bed now. No. You know slip knot are? Slip knot No. In my school you're either a skater , a townie or a mosher. And all moshers love slip knot. I've never been dead. I don't think anyone liked Slip knot . And they listen to all Slipnot. I was a skater. Were you? Yeah, a skate The brothers are a town he had rock ports, which we've talked about before. You've lost me now. Did you not have that in your school? Family enough note. You're either a deck shoe or you wore a nice esper drill or occasionally brogue . Okay , well, thank you so much for your questions Della. It's lovely to be back in our new studio. Yes, indeed, it's lovely to be back in your company, Jordan. Aw, bless you. Thank you. Remember, if you need our help with something, then get in touch. You can send you to us of trepidation to help at sex and myboss. com