Dilemma: Family Betrayal and Nightclub Dress Codes

There's lots of very funny dilemmas coming your way in just a moment. You can watch every episode of Help I Sex with my boss too. From Jordan's attempts to be a YouTuber back in twenty ten, seriously the second, hand embarrassment is real. To William's reaction to seeing a fanny for the first time, there are so many brilliant moments that you need to see. Search for help I sex with my boss on YouTube and hit subscribe so you don't miss an episod e . Hello and welcome to Help I Six of My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life. Answering your twenty first century questions and finding solutions to those everyday dilemmas, like what should you do when your partner starts giving you a randy smirk ? Or how do you tell a thief the bag they've stolen from you contains nothing but a dead dog. We've all been there. And what should you do if you accidentally sexed your boss? But we're not your usual solution sluts. Are we, William Hansen? No, we're not, Jordan North. I'm more etiquette for eating peas. You're more prin cess and the pea. Very true. I don't get that. That's from Jade. Princess and the pea , one of my favourite fables. Did you not do that? I do remember is that where? She slept on top of multiple different mattresses and there was one little pee at the bottom of the butt because she was so sort of highly strung and princess like even under forty mattresses she could still feel the pee and then they discovered it was a pee and they moved it and then she could sleep well, I think. What's the one with Rumpelstiltskin? Well, that's a totally different. That's Rumpelstiltskin. That's a totally different fable. What's the one where he turns a hair, so is her hair into gold? Rumpelstilt skin. Oh , still a favorite thing. Rapunzel? Or do you mean Rapunzel? No, Rapunzel let down her hair, didn't you? Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. That was the saying from it. It was, yes. Yeah, it's the quote . William could do that. Ben, can we just talk about Ben is n't rolled Ben? He's sitting at the coffee podium . He's on work experience as a tech session. Zafia , what's Zofia's professor? Studio engineer. Studio engineer. So Ben's out of step. It's like the old days this. Yeah, I thank you. That's what I was going to say. It's not stepping. It's but in the old days you didn't speak. No, I was behind a glass window. Having a nervous breakdown . At least now you just have the nervous breakdown in the same room as us. You can feel the nervous energy, which is nice. Anyway, let's back to the format. This week's toast goes to everyone who ran the London marathon. Yes, including back to him, producing he smashed time ago. Yeah, we're gonna talk about it properly in a minute. Great. I just want to drinked. Can I who to areast we ing to then? Well, Emma also wanted to toast Ben and she messaged in to say hi guys, just to say I hope producer Ben gets the best toast to date on the next episode record after today's mar athon. What an incredible effort for such a worthy cause, having lost a very dear friend of suicide, who was also my daughter's uncle and godfather, and many other friends the latest just buried on Tuesday past, I could not be prou der to be a G and Diva today. Thank you to all of the Sexter Team for the heartwarming joy and laughter you bring to many lives each week you have no idea of the impact it can have. Having found this podcast myself during a very low period in my life in twenty twenty three, the back catalog most certainly saved me from a silence I could not bear to be in at the time. Much love to you all and congratulations, Ben. So Ben Ben and all of your fellow marathon runners K,at as well . This is to you. Congratulations , it's a little medal where it would proud last. It was weeks ago. He's got that. All right. It was weeks ago. Class that. What did you get? Did you get like ten percent off of boots? What's crack with that? There were a few freebies, but I didn't actually get to use any of them. The place we often go were offering on the Marathon day. They were offering free roast lunches and Ben said, Oh, I won't be able to do one, but William, you can always come and get my medal. I thought if I turn up holding a medal, dressed in a suit because I was working on that day, I do think they might see past that. Now some people ran it in suits . Did it yes? Well, some people ran it in pepper pig, little daddy pig? No, you know, it was daddy pig, don't we? No. Sorry. Yeah. Daddy Pig ran it. In one of your mates ran so Yeah, he says hello hasn't seen you in a while . Anyway, so is it heavy your medal, Ben? Oh, it's a heavy heavy medal. Right. What's it made from? I don't know, actually. Well, if you're not brass? Brass? What are these things? It's bronze , but does everyone get the same or if you the winner you get a gold? It's brass. I hate Apost people speak sometimes. Brass . It' brsass, but congrats, I'm popping out. Now genuinely mate, I am really proud of. Can I actually see the metal? Could you ? Oh, it says on it actually one hundred percent recycled zinc. If anyone guessed zinc zin?c That's the one that science teachers used to burn in GCSC science and matters . Good look at the light . It'll burn you . Ben, I'm super proud of you. Tell everyone what time you did at all. This is incredible. Listen , genuinely in the series, I know nothing about it. Not that it's about time 'cause some people do it in like six hours, which is fine. You did it. Go on? Yeah, I would echo that, but yeah, three hours, thirty seven minutes. That is incredible. Cat did it under four hours as well. She was yes. She was you can completely do. And then you waited for Cat to finish. Story of your life. But that was That's good . And it's true. It's a good twenty minutes later. Story if you like . It was very hard. Story design . My legs just felt so achy afterwards. Why you get used to that? On the back of the metal it says the iconic cutty sock okay is on the TCS London Marathon route just after six miles. Built in eighteen sixty nine, it was designed to be one of the fastest ships of its time. Yes. Nothing more as boring as your rest emology. I'm going to burn your metal. We'll see if zinc does burn, okay? Can I have a light? Yes. Are you okay with me handing over to Jordan? Famous clubs Oh I bet he's biting it now. That's class up, then. Should be proud of that. Oh, and it's actually got on the sort of band, the lanyard. No, don't throw it. Oh, well give it to Jack. Cheers, Jack. It says finisher . Okay . Well, congrats, Penn we're super proud. Thank you. I can feel that. Who was it what was the challenge? For again? Suicide and Co. They're very happy with everyone who donated and yeah again, I mean the number of donations from GNDVAs and there was a GNDVA out there who had a IMA GNDA sign . Kelly, I think her name was, which was nice to see. And lots of people shouting Ben, although there's no way of knowing if they were fans of me or just shouting my name because it was on my t shirt. So I think I was waving at some people and they were like why are you waving me back? It is a hard balance when you I want to say thank you for the people that came out and yeah and everyone who sent messages and things. Ladu ran in less than two hours . Sarway . Did you see him? No, he was a bit quicker than me. Oh, story in my life . He would class him. He's broke a record, hadn't? Ever two hours. I mean that would shut but that was big a big sort of milestone that they didn't think would ever be possible. Did you see anyone doing a poor radcliffe? I didn't. Lots of people passing out, which is terrifying for someone with sort of mild to severe health anxiety. But yeah. The London Marathon's right up your street really. Yeah, perfect. Did you stop for a wee? I didn't. That'd be may I'd need a week. Yeah. I mean, the problem is with running a marathon is you constantly did have the I constant thing of maybe I do need a way, but also I was like, I just need to keep running. Just get it running. Just keep running. Just keep running, running, running. What do we do? We run. Run, run. What the hell is that some posh by hum our then? It's by finding me not swimming. Yes , we adapted it. Oh right, okay just keep swimming just swimming. All right. Well Ben, thank you. Shout out also to Jen Z and Mikey who went to go and support producer Ben as well because I was working. You were very busy and my weekends are precious . Okay. No, that sounds like I would love to have come down to see you , but I was away. Yeah, yeah. Your lack of presence was noted . Okay , right. Come on boys. How's your eating Ben? Yes. What's been going on in the world of William Hansen? Can you want to talk about this? Yeah, sorry to interrupt you. Can you explain why you're in gym gear? Because I've come from Parkour training . Have you actually? As you know, this is my new hobby . Mikey said that I needed another hobby that was not work now, that the tour is over, I need something to fill the void. And so I have naturally taken up parkour. I'll be honest , I'm a beginner. Okay . I think I have got an ability . It's not fully developed. Yeah, I don't I don't know what the London Marathon equivalent is of parcour , but I think it's a way to go until I'm there. It's French in it. Parcour? Probably . I think maybe we should do an etiquette emogy out of next week, but I'm pretty sure absolutely no etiquette with popcorn. No, well there's a history on it. I'm pretty sure it started on Tierra Me's estate when he was a kid I've even massively made that up and it's bullshit, but I'm sure Tierrierum R Mi had something to do here. Okay , nice. On the estate he grew up in France, that's where pork originated. I might have completely made that up. Well, I'll look into it. Okay. It won't be for next week because I've already got that padding. It is French. It is French. It is French , but maybe my gut is it's probably a little bit older than Tier Henri. No, it's not real. How old's Tierry? It's forties. Yeah, yeah. So I don't think it's I think it's only thirty years old because it's in Casino Royale the Bond does in effect parkour, that's where it was first and obviously blonde sort of hunk running. That's obviously where I was first inspired. Okay, of course. Yeah. So you're going to get what exchange want ? I can't say anything. But I also thought with being in Gymkit because I could have I did have a little bit of time where I could have changed. Last week, obviously , you were trying to do a butcher episode. A new spectac ularly failed. That's not true. We've got the receipts and the video on socials of your butch montage . I thought, so thus I'm going to bring the butch this episode mate. Right, bro. So is that why you're in Dym git? . I'll be honest, this is not what I normally would wear , but I did put on a clean top. I don't know how I feel about your dress like that. I'm not gonna lie. Why not? Because it's a bit weird, isn't it? Because you're prim and proper and you really enjoy. Well still, I've got my legs crossed and a lovely sort of neat cross. And I wasn't not butched last week 'cause there's a few things. Good goes round up your nose. It was n't that bad . On a clear day. That was Jay McDonald's a legend, right? And I won't hear a bad thing said about it on this podcast. No, right . Just saying. But you weren't very bucked last week or indeed for the last eight years. That's not true. That's not true Jordan, it's fine to switch roles from time to time. How are you? Good. I've just been Sea Devil's Wear Parada. It's so good. Devil's Wears Prada . No , it's the unofficial speech. Did you like the first one? I re watched it the other day in readiness for the new film It's quite fun. Yeah, the second I think the second one's rough. The phone is horrific in the first one. It's really dated now. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the trouble with if you follow fashion is it looks nice then. But then you look back ten years later you're like, What was I thinking? What was twenty years ago? Well, I never looked back twenty years ago and you think what the hell was I think? That's why I call you old money because it's just stayed in and looks good all the time, doesn't it? Right Money. You just wear the same thing. Yeah, I mean, I've worn the same thing since I was four. Jumper, Ralph Ren I have never normally worn in chinos such a lot of synthetic fibers now. That kind of thing. Yeah. Speaking of fashion, I think this sums up my look. I want to see your look today or just in general. I think I look alright today. Thank you for that. Yeah, it's nice sort of y beige cardigan . A string vest A string vest they pack. Yeah, they are actually. Especially about enslave with a cardigan. Basically , yeah. The gym I went into yesterday. My gym. Our gym. My gym got my kit out and I was like, Oh, the trains are not in there. So I went to exception and I went, well, any trainers ended in yesterday, but any chance? And he went, yeah, new balance. I said , yeah. I think you should have said the brand, not them personally. And he said they have but only one . And I thought, What do you mean? He went, there's just one. So he went and just passed me one and I'm like , that just su ms up my look. It just sums up my life. Not the fact no they've not been handed in. I went, yeah, one. What we're going to do if you can hop. Well also, what's the other person going to do with one shoe? No, so like why is only one shoe being handed in? It's not your brother is it that's taken them ? No, 'cause he still puts a shoe on his fake phone. Oh, okay, fine. Yeah. Well, what is the point of his plastic well . Hm m Well, maybe keep asking and maybe other shirts and look. Speaking of it . Allen brothers in Benadom at the moment Are they poor old Benadom? For Rayan's fortieth. Where are you? Here couldn't go to due work commitments and I was strongly advised from the North Women not to go either. Okay , because of on because of last time . What happened last time? When we went for Bradley Stag dude didn't yeah four days before I start ed capital breakfast , which was not advisable . And I really wanted to go. There was thirty paratroopers and not whatever would we have done not because of that, just because there was thirty paratroopers going brothers, only brothers mates. I feel like I've got massive phomo. Wow. So yeah, I'm thinking of just getting a flight out there and surprising them . No No . Really? Are they there for the entire weekend? No there for a whole weekend. I feel like bad, but I've got work. No, don't feel bad at all. You know, you can't go to everything . You can't, you know, that is life. You can't please everyone. How about you? How's your week been? I've been up to. Well, last week I was very much enjoying. I know we don't do politics and this isn't politics because the monarchy is above politics. I thought the king and eenQu st'say visit to America was phenomenal. Might drop. I mean, to be fair, it's still going on at times for recording, but the main bits have sort of finished. I think he's played it brilliantly. That is his Majesty the King is . I think he's been great. Did you watch any of his speeches? Yeah. Belter after Belter. Get him on SNL. Hello. The one about you'd always speaking French. Yes. Straight line. Or my favorite, which has been under there's a lot that went under clipped, was where he said sang about he was talking about Artemis two, the space mission , or as we would call it in my family, Artemis II . I thought hilarious, really funny, solid joke. Clever, intellectual joke. It's good. So yeah, good on him. My best one, to be fair, but I liked it. Okay , so it was fine. What was your favorite one? He said what was it now? two hundred fifty years ago when America was found as we say in Britain just the other day. Great. I mean, just so funny. You'd never get the queen doing jokes. I say I see you've got a new East Wing. Yeah, redeveloping the East Wing. We had a go in eighteen fourteen. Yeah. Brilliant. So funny, it's great. What's what you want? I think that's the only way you could do that state visit is play it for laughs . Don't take it too seriously, play it for laughs. It's brilliant. Yeah, it was really good. well done king. What else would you have been up to on the state visit? Well, he went to New York. Did all that? Did Ground Zero? Did mad because obviously he went to ground zero and he wouldn't have been before because he can't just go to it like a normal tourist, can he? No. I hope he went to the Museum. It's bloody brilliant . Well, no, I don't mean like that. It's tragic. It's horrible. You pick up a phone and you hear a voice note. I'd highly recommend anyone going like it's really I don't want to say good, but it's harrowing. In October. It was Mikey did actually very nice photograph, but it's it was and Camilla got to go around museums. It's probably one of the best museums I've been to. Is it a museum? It's quite a museum. Yeah, it's Memorial Memorial. Maybe Memorial. There's a little museum you can go in. Yeah. Next time I see, I'd tell him to go Nashville . Well, maybe that'll be the next. I'll be like next time you go in, Charles, take Camilla and go N inashville. Your Majesty, Your Majesty. Get a little cowboy hat. Yeah. Camilla can have a go on the Bucking Bronco. Can I actually tell you about , you know Chris Starks in Anne . Yes, train station. Oh yeah, you talked about this the other day and heckled her and said he heckled the prince's royal capital breakfast, your Majesty and more people royal . Yeah, more people were annoyed that he called her Majesty. Royal Highness, isn't it? Yeah, what do you think of that? Heckling anyone, royal or not? Well, she's just walking by. I mean, I mean good on Criti. I mean, God love's optimist. I don't really think the Prince is royal. Look, your show's really good. Don't get me wrong. I'm just not convinced it's for the Princess Royal. You never know. What ya're about? I mean, I love the debates again, I won't hear a bad word said about her Beth Rigby. You got any answer to the questions poor minister. She's constantly heckling. That is an elected representative of the people as opposed to a member of the Royal family. Are you going to always ? Are you going to always art in Prime Minister? Beth, we bob. Calm down. I love it by the way. It's my favourite political I've got quite a few political corresp ondents that like. Okay , give us your top three. Okay . Easily , right? I'm gonna say Beth Rigby. Lovely. Chris Mason. Okay. Joe Pike, of course , my favourite. Go to bed with most nights now. Listen to him. Okay, on his pets. On the older newscast? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And when him and Chris are on together honestly amen . Oh, keeps me up . Big shot I'd also would you still class Laura's a political comment berg. I wouldn't say correspondent, but she's a political commentator. And who else am I gonna? What about your Matlis, your son? John Sopel Emily Matless, but that goes without saying technically in fact so much so we didn't say it. Well no , they're not political correspondents are they now? They're podcasters. I'm talking about if anything, now they're light in. I'm talking about old school political correspondent correspondence. Okay. I'm sorry if I've missed you out. Who else? You can't just John, I only ask for top three. You're just doing that classic. Let's try and please everyone and name absolutely everybody. But Beffrick B ar Power . Okay , it's the Bob . Maybe you should try you're not happy with your hair. Maybe you should try Bob. When Beth Rigby interviews Rachel Reeves, you can't tell different . Yeah, it's Bob on Bob. It's great first. Does Rachel Reas have a bob? Of course she has a bob. I don't think she has a bob. She does. Apparently she does. She does. It's a political talk. Who's your favorite political correspondent? Just Joe Pike. Joe Pike. Yeah, yeah. Friend of the S.how Friend of the show. Yeah, okay Lovely. Well there we go. Ginievers let us know. Look at the wisdom prime minister. Beth. Leave him be, you're outside his house . I've got calluses . Oh, I do. From all my park our. Look at that. That's because you're lifting weights. Look at mine. Well, and also doing paint you get something like that son. They're not callouses. That's just your foundation that's rubs. That's calluses. That's from weight lifting. I've been in four times this week. Thank you very much. And the gym . It's too easy. My hairdress, talking of the Prince is royal, my hairdress is very worried about where she's going to be going on a holiday. The other day she was Ian having my hair on next to her Royal Highness. And for those who don't know, William has the same hairdresser as Princess Anne . And my headdresser who is hilarious need to probably need a name for her now because I'm not going to give a real name. What about hairspray hunner? Harespay Hannah',re then love I fine. No, no, an elderly lady . Blow drive brender. Blow blow drive brender. Blow drive brender. Yes, she went, have you seen I went, sorry, have I seen what? She often starts a conversation like that. You have to sort of guess . And she said, Trouble banned can't go anywhere. I went, you mean because of because of the war in the Middle East? She's like, yeah, can't go anywhere. I said, Well, you can get an awful lot of places. And then she gets out her phone and she brings out Facebook. She's seen a post on Facebook. She's going through in time . Look, Afghanistan can't go there . Scrolling. Belarus, can't go there . Makina Fasu band . Haiti can't go there . Niger can't go there . Why did you have plans to go to any of these countries? Can't go anywhere. It's ridiculous. What is that? Well, you could go to Europe , you could go to America, you could go to Singapore , but no she's very worried . I actually quite like how this strait of Hamous is it? Strait of Hamous? Yeah, I'll have a go. It's actually sort of that out has actually got people involved in politics, particularly Northern women AKA Wendy who has not got a political bone in a body . She votes and stuff, but she's not pol likeitical. You couldn like't speak to my dad but mum's not bothered. But when I went round overweight, she went, My setty's not gonna be for another six weeks now. She's fuming. She's proper ty only to where she ordered a surf sofa from? I don't know. She nause somehow come from? I don't know. Why does it come via the straight of her moon? Yeah, basically. So she's the only time she's keeping up today not buying British. I had news at Tennon other day, see if there are any news on it. I'm like they got a report on Wendy's setty . Like it's the only time she's ever been wrong and she's like Anyway, still no news on me setty. I'm like there's a war going on . It's like, yeah, I've been watching news, you know, the head bloody useless, no updates. It's only time she's been interested. So it's kind of good that it's bringing now fixed like a sofa. Yeah, Sudan, can't go there. She kept me just like Brenda. You can't be having any serious plans to go to any of these places. And you know when you're not sure if people are actually doing a bit or they're actually quite annoyed. Anyway, then she announced this was a few weeks ago that she was instead going to go to Turkey and I have to get the FC DO advice up and go says do not go to Turkey. I think they have changed that since she's not going anywhere and I hold it. I don't go to Turkey. You couldn't at the time. Funnily enough I've been thinking people's teeth have been looking bad of late. That'll be why. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, they're all out of business. Well, I'll keep you up to date with Wendy set up. Oh, do can always go to the same place I got my sofa from . Would she like my sofa? Not as in, would she like it? Would she like a separate sofa that is the same? She's seen it, but I won't tell you a comment . I was gonna tell I was gonna tell you at the time Go on . I don't care 'cause you want me to know . Was this pre opospatour? Free. Okay. Does he do it for effect? That's what she said . Would you like to reply? Well, at least when it's not crushed velvet oh anyway, I will keep you up to date. Good. We do it for a fence. Do you think on the sort of tracking, like every tracking or something? It says our moose. Hermuse. Hermes. Yes. She's fuming about us say Seti Should we go to Jordan's jolly joke of the week? Oh, is it me? It is you Okay . Well, whilst you're preparing a joke, here's the jingle . Oh God, this depends on is Gregor . Wait, here's the jingle . Oh , Ben, you've lost your touch years ago, years ago, Ben used to do all this. Well years ago, we didn't use some jing . There we go. It was cheeky and northern. You're in for a treat with our Jordan and if a giggle is what you see you're sure to love Jordan's jolly joke of the week . AJ sent this one. Big fan of the podcast. This is AJ and Forestedine. Somebody told me that evaporated milk mixed with urine can bring people back from the dead. Urine, urine. And I'll tell you the punchline after the break . All right, Gene Davis, thanks for sticking with us. It's now time for George's Jolly John the Week. You have AJ in the forest of D theean. Somebody told me that evaporated milk mixed with urine is urine I just say it . You must have said urine before. I just say pissed don't. I didn't say piss . No because it's part of the joke. No How'd you say it? You're in. You're in. Forget the E on the end. You're in. You're in. Yes. Like you're in Gala. Ure Oh yeah. Like oh you're in. All right okay you've said that for don't outjoke the jolly joke please somebody told me that evaporated milk mixed with urine can bring people back from the dead, but I don't believe in we incarnation. At least not sure if it was worth the bound up. Good. Excellent. Should we go on to the questions and dilemmas? Yeah, let's do it. Remember if you need our help with something, get in touch, you can send you details of trepidation to help at sex and mybus dot com You can DM us we're at Sex and My Bus and Socials or you write to William who in the fullness of time prompts his hand written one of our luxury card gsreen executive cell envelopes he addressed on the website sexmybus dot com while also doing church notices. Just a little one. We're doing a special episode with JVS. Jonathan Bernard Smith. I do the luxury podcast. We do the luxury post so help I sexted my luxury podcast is coming very soon. Oh that's the title of it. Yep . So it's the title I text Jack the other day with so copyright I think it's sexed the luxury podcast while my luxury podcast. Help us the l touxury podcast. Yeah, that's not what you said, but yeah, well, you can show up. You pregnant. If you've got any questions that you want to ask, yes. Yeah, get them in as well. It's going to be very odd for me, that. Yeah. It's going to be very odd. Where you can sit . It's like having peanut butter smooth and crunchy all at the same time . Yes . Somebody stopped me in the street last week, said By the way, I'm a bisexual and just let you know that that peanut butter analogy is spot on . Okay, never happened. That's not true. That's not true . I keep telling everyone that I think it's brilliant my analogy to bisexuals. Okay, well keep telling yourself that. Our first dilemma is from Caitlin. Hi boys, I'm a twenty one year old biology student about to finish my degree and last Friday I went out clubbing with friends to celebrate surviving weeks of dissertation stress. While I was out, I met a guy with cochlear implants which felt quite special to me because I wear hearing aids myself. What are cockle? They're sort of the ones that implant they like hearing aids but they were at hearing heads came worse. Yeah , which felt quite special to me because I wear hearing aids myself. And it's rare to meet people around my age who understand that experience. I offered to buy him a drink, he said, yes, and it was actually a really nice moment. However, his friends immediately started chanting that we should kiss, which completely threw me off. In my very drunk state, my brain short circuited . And I thought he was cute and seemed lovely, but I suddenly became convinced that they all looked like freshers on their first night out. That's so rude, just because one person has got hearing aids in another one as you don't go kiss, kiss, kiss. Instead of doing the normal thing and asking his age, I panicked and just walked away. So now I've effectively bought a man a drink, then vanished like a socially anxious fairy. I'm currently in the fetal position lying in bed with a brutal hangover, replaying this and questioning all of my life choices. So my divor is what is actually an acceptable age difference when approaching someone on a night out? Was I overthinking it or right to be cautious? I feel like I'd judge a friend for flirting with a fresher but also don't want to be weirdly rigid about it. Have I massively overate it or just saved myself from a potentially awkward situation? Thanks. Kaitlin, I would say your friends, as Jordan said, are completely in the wrong for being so blacent about it and shouting in front of both of you kiss kiss kiss. And of course you're going to feel awkward for that, especially if you know, you've had a couple of shares and you feel a bit merry . Yeah, look, first of all, I have done way worse when I'm drunk. Stuff from fifteen. Tell us . Stuff from fifteen years ago that I'll just be nodding off to sleep. I've got me podcast, I'm newscast. I've got Joe and Chris in Bed Coming in me ears and I'm there and I'll just remember some of it from an out fifteen years ago so you've nothing to worry about . Okay Second thing is you're twenty one. He was obviously a fresher. So even if he was eighteen. At the time, that feels like a massive age difference . It really isn't. So you probably did the right thing, but you might have overreacted, but honestly, it's not the worst thing in the world to do drunk. I haven't kebab out being in Wiggen before now honestly. Ladies, you know ? I mean, I know I'm living my twenties and my thirties, but I'm never going to get to the stage where I'm eating kebab out of a bin in Wigglean or otherwise and you can stick that on the t shirt. It wasn't as bad as Magaloff would happen. It was still the best and worst thing I've seen. What? My mate pissed off the balcony to me other mate and it was amazing. Into your other baby. Well, it was like he tried to catch it in a cup which is clever. It's a bit light. I don't know if you sort of I don't know if any of our G and D have ever had this , but sometimes and this I assume this doesn't happen in the straight world, but in the gay world where sort of sort of mums or friends of mums when they discover you're gay, maybe the first time you come out they go Oh my friend son is gay too you must meet as if to go, you know, you can date and they just think gay plus gay equals relationship and it's not how it works. In this instance, person with hearing aid, person with hearing aid, they're of course going to, you know, live happily ever after . It's not necessarily how it works. Did you not get that? No , yeah, I do. If two people because when I used to wear my hearing aid you'd get interference all the time. And honestly, if I went to near a teleoon antenna, something with two. You can hear him whistling sometimes. You can hear my dad's girl. You can hear him dad's whistling. Does your dad have hearing aid? Yeah, no mind does too. They don't wear he needs to wear his I was going to say I've never seen your dad in here. He needs to wear him again. He's like me, but sometimes you can hear him whistling. So if two people hearing aids kissed will it do that ? Maybe you could maybe switch it off before you kiss . Yeah, but sometimes sometimes when I used to hug some of my great aunts who wore hearing aids and you got quite close to it it, would go Yeah , it makes the noise yeah . Anyway, this next one is from anonymous. Dear William Jordan a male perspective, please. You've come to the right way , please love it. Yeah. You go darling hacking without yeah,ro b. My husband of sixteen years went to a strict club with friends at the weekend and paid one hundred and twenty five pounds for lap dance. Oh, it's how much it is now . I mean, is it how much it is for a lap dance? I'll give you one for a hundred This used to be a place in Preston. Your bedroom. We've talked about it and he's apologetic, but I'm so hurt and feel disrespected. Perfect tense still going. Anyone impressed, okay? There's perfect tense and I was number one. What's the etiquette for when you want to rip his head off for paying for a dance from another woman from a scorned wife? It's an awful lot of money to pay for editor. Yeah. I think a lap dance. You don't even know it's not even like a dress or something you can get multiple uses from . I think look, if you are you've got one thing to be annoyed about is paid one hundred and twenty five grid for a lap dance, what a waste of money. Why would you pay what's it going wrong for lap? Paying for a lap dance. If someone to rub their ars on your face. Get that for free, thank you very much . But they don't they don't even do out they're not even large. I mean, like, I've watched that film with Jennifer Lopez in there, I don't I genuinely don't know what people I don't know I don't want to know it's somebody's job I don't you can't do they just like their arms gets there and maybe touches your thigh a bit but yeah I don't think I think you've got a reason to be angry if you're playing if you're married and you've got kids and especially 's been pretty tough. one hundred twenty five quick could have been a decent night out. What are you more annoyed about paying for a lap dance or paying that much for a lap top or thes lap tar itself. She's probably more annoyed about both because secretly I think I might be wrong here is he might have to back me up as the head of Laptancers. I think Move Most girls I'm going to go out and limit it. I think most girls are like I'll not publish about and go into a Lapdance Club, but secretly probably are a bit yeah, is this normal? No, 'cause like they know what Zones stag dudes and stuff. What do you think's going on in Benadma right now? Hey, don't be a grass on the north brothers. They're all married. I'm on the friends, I've seen it. They will not be doing that. Thank you very much. They're good lads . They love their wives . They'll be doing everything else, but they will not be doing that, thank you very much. You're not a bro if you say stuff like that , grass . Grass . Shut up next one. This one is from another anonymous Dear William Jordan the amazing sex team I found myself towards the end of last year becoming quite fond of a girl at the place where I work. Let's call her Daisy. I gave her my number and suggested we go for coffee sometim e, I heard nothing. We were still very friendly at work but she never broached the subject of coffee. Six months later I decided I would try again and said to her 'hey the office still stands if you want to go for coffee sometime' to which she replied, Thank you and walked off. I sort of took this as a polite noe and decided that nothing would come of it. Fast forward a few weeks, I met up with a friend from the past, Sally . She's also recently divorced, so we both have similar situations. We found ourselves in a confusing situation ship, both agreeing that neither of us are dating other people and it's nice to have the company. I had told a few people at work about my situation with Sally, but equally made it clear that it wasn't an official thing. Last week, another colleague accurately mentions to Daisy that I'm seeing Sally , at which point Daisy apparently bursts into tears. I'm unsure how to proceed. I'm liking my current situation with Sally, but equally my heart yearns for Daisy . And now I'm left feeling that if indeed Daisy does like me , then any attempt to strike up something between us will not be possible now she knows about Sally. I'm hoping that you'll be able to share some sort of wisdom to help you navigate this tricky situation, kind regards anonymous. Daisy's sending out some very mixed messages here. Yeah, I was going to say first of all she said no and then yes again six months later it's always worth a second try. I think you've got to go with Sally. But if your heart I think stick with Sally because all Sally can wait she, knows it's too l ate . All right I don't know if I got the mistake forgot. I was going to do a daisy days and give me an answer too. Oh very good. Thank you very much. See, this is why we this is why this works. Yes. Isn't it? This is why this work s. But if your heart yearns for her , I think it's a cards on the table chat. Right. What's cracker? Because I'm seeing Daisy, but I've always liked you . Just tell me now, is there nothing there cause a crack on . But if you do want to go for a coffee and maybe there is something there as tough as it sounds, I'll suck Sally off because and you can yeah, so if you're really hard yearning for it, one last chance card's on the table. Love's complicated. It's a complicated thing, my friends. I would go you do out for love . You'll do out when you're in love. How'd you do anything for love? Why do you always cringe at me talking about love? It's like those memes you send me on Instagram love. Jordan started sending me some memes . Whatever love is What are they bad then means? cringe . They weren't shut up, right? No because now people are gonna message Bengo and if you send any memes you need to report and it's not a workplace where it. It doesn't matter . Nothing there. Yeah, anonymous. I would say to Daisy when you see her, if you do are, if you are still, you know, serious about Daisy and you'd like to go Daisy , I hear you've been upset that I'm seeing Sally . First of all , Sally and I it is just a situation . It's not serious. Respectfully, I have suggested that we go for coffee and you didn't seem too keen , which is fine if you're not keen. But if you are, please let me know and let's set a date for us to go for coffee. And I'd love to get to know you better. And then if Daisy is still going to burst into floods of tears , not give you an answer what can you do? Exactly. Daisy doesn't have a right to be annoyed. This is from Cam Dude William and Jordan. I'm a twenty five Lily . I'm a twenty five year old gamer. I'm sorry. For an impression I came from a modern family . One day after what was an absolute nightmare at work, I get home and see my boyfriend 's car in the driveway. I think to myself, OMG he's surprising me after not seeing each other in over two weeks due to my work schedules . So I cheer up a bit, do a little giddy skip into the house, and fling the door open to the living room. I walk in and find my Oh wow, this is not good where I thought it was going to go. Find my boyfriend and my mum in the living room together Yeah Oh I can't read that jack ? No, it's not another one, is it? Oh it's not his boyfriend because my mind's going somewhere else go on. You think this would be a wonderful greasing, but in fact I was faced with my mum laid on her back and my boyfriend wristed deep in her. Oh indeed. That's what I'm thinking . Now several months have passed, but I cannot speak to either of them . Correct . Am I overreacting by throwing my boyfriend out and refusing to talk to my mum whilst I save up to move out? No, you're not overreacting at all. Or do I accept his apology and try to move on? His excuse that he was giving her a pelvic examination . However, he is a receptionist at a local college. Any advice to be greatly appreciated, I love you both so much. I'm just so sorry, Camp. Yeah, Cam, that's awful. I met Jeremy Calwind's that. My mind did not go there because obviously gay sort of sinking. So was he was like both like I'm sorry I'm actually sorry I'm actually the more I think about this. I am so sorry Camp that in your life b.oy Yourfriend is going to have an affair full stop. Then it's with your mother . So already your boyfriend is a duplicitous little shit, but then also your mother thinks somewhere in her mind , I'll just hook up with my son's gay lover . Sounds like a dish. Get rid of both of them. Yeah, try and move out as soon as you can. You're not in the wrong. Sorry, I've gone really hot. Sounds like you think about that. Daily Star headline that doesn't it? Geez, you poor cam , move out as soon as you can. I'd even look at moving Do it in your own house . And to be wrist deep . What was he fingering? I don't think he was fingering. I think he was. More than that. That's terrible . Go and do one more pork cam . Our final letter is from Archie. Dear William Jordan the Seed Team. I've been a frequent listener at the podcast and hope you guys can help solve a dilemma or argument between my sister and I'm my sister and me. We were arguing about what is socially acceptable for boys and girls to wear to a nightclub. Oh, my area of expertise. You've never been to a nightclub with you. Yes, I have now. I said that girls have more options, i. e. jeans, shorts, dresses, and she disagreed. I said it's not socially acceptable for a boy to wear shorts or joggers to a nightclub, and realistically it was only jeans. What would you say? Thank you for always making us laugh, Archery. Archery, I agree. You can't go to you definitely can't go in shorts and drops. But people can I just say nightclub dress, right? In London and I've this is like the working class orthern and me because we are put up if you going out you get dressed up. You go out and remember when we went tonight out what was Where did we go on night? We're now in Manchester because basically in London no one really dresses up to go out. They'll just go in . They'll just go out and shit trainers and jeans to an eye club. They will, like, it's certain areas unless you go in like a Mayfair and stuff like that . But where I'm from, you go on a night out, even now my dad'll get a bit overdressed.. Well, we dress up We're overcoming out in Manchester or Liverpool. The girls dress up, they make effort. I'm not saying they don't hear. What all of them? Essex they do. What we call the sparkly top brigade. Yeah, jeans in the north top. Yeah, I'm gonna put jeans in, but even now like if it said to me do you want to go pub? I have to even though I'm in decent gear , at the summit in me where I think I have to go upstairs, brush my teeth and go and put something new on to go pub and you're the same as he aren't you? You're living your London life now. So it's different areas but I think yeah, I don't I would never personally go to a nightclub. Not that you catch me in a nightclub these days. Oh no, I went out recently. In jeans and I won't go in shorts and joggers. No, I wouldn't I mean, I wouldn't leave the house to go anywhere in shorts and joggers unless you're going for a jog or going to the gym. That would be fine. And little millennial rant here. The shit we used to wear to go and you wouldn't get in a club without shoes on. You had to go out on a Wednesday or Thursday you could . Honestly, you'd have to go out in a shirt, wouldn't you to get in a club? And you'd have to wear jeans and fucking pointy winkle pickers . Look like a sh it member of razor light . Now you go out in jeans, people now kids dress how they should do teenagers or young twenty year olds . You just have to wear shit just to go out pressed and I would reckon. Can I just give Archie some other things that he could wear on his bottom half that aren't jeans? You could wear a chino, a mole skin, an action slack. You've got different a nice sort of cord roy number . That would be fine. Definitely not shorts and joggers please. Jean's a nice pair of jeans. Jeans in an ass top. That's my model for everything. It's what girls say to each other. I'm just gonna wear jeans and mask top. Jeans and a mouth top. And a decent pair of if you're going to wear trainers, a decent pair or a brogue. Do you remember your back and don't wear ? I've worn a brogue to a nightclub. I've wore some nice sort of suede loafers last time I went out. Do you remember all I'm going to say is do you remember when Freddie and was it Percy? Peter Peter but you got the knit he met me and some friends in the nightclub and they turned up and they were the only ones blessing in Cinos, Ralph Loren and Brogues. Yeah, which is fine in certain areas of London. I think you could, I think that's what Archie should wear. You've got to raise people to your standards rather than sinking to theirs. Do you remember when you went to that private members club that you're in and you said Oh they've recently just allowed trainers. That's why I've invited you. I was like cheers charming. Yeah, I did say that. Yeah. I was like, Oh, cheers Used to look very nice . Do that again sit? We should do that again . We want to come back from a holiday. Yeah, we'll get in a few weeks. Bring Loki out as well. Yes, Ben and I going to go on a night out together. Sorry Yazidi might have relaxed the dress code, but you also aren't getting it She's from Cliffarer. That's a laugh. See? She knows there was no . She's not gonna go to HR. Talking of dress codes, do you notice Iz forz myy pocket, I'm not wearing I've not shown my ankles and I did that just for you because Gen Z don't like ankles on show. You've got sketches on that Also, can I just say my legs are normally hairy but because I had to shaves them for Kylie . They're sort of in a slight weird state at the moment. Thank you just for anyone watching on YouTube that was wanting to know. Thank you for your questions and dilemmas. Remember you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and twenty four hours before anywhere on the else gl