Dilemma About Hairdresser Loyalty and Etiquette

There's lots of very funny dilemmas coming your way in just a moment. You can watch every episode of Help I Sex with my boss too. From Jordan's attempts to be a YouTuber back in twenty ten, seriously the second, hand embarrassment is real. To William's reaction to seeing a fanny for the first time, there are so many brilliant moments that you need to see. Search for help I sex with my boss on YouTube and hit subscribe so you don't miss an episod e . Hello and welcome to Help As Sextered My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life. Answering your twenty first century questions and finding solutions to those everyday dilemm as like what should you do when your partner wants you to dress up as doctor Who in the bedroom ? Or how should you react when your guest tells you she's got a huge pimple on her pus? Yes, that's a throwback to Tony and Rhymes. And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss, but we're not usually laggnians we. Are William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert and west end star? Well, yeah, as of tonight. Yes, thank you, Jordan, and hopefully. No, we're not Jordan North, Capitol Radio, show presenter, soccerade person, whatever player player, that's the word I was searching for. I'm more holding midfielder. You're more left back in the changing room. That's from Brad. Very good. Very good. I don't really understand any of that, but I did it anyway. Look, we've got ice. I've got an ice bucket. Yes. Is it bouquet? It's bouquet. Oh gosh, it's all frozen tongue there or witch pinches I called them in my house. Would you like to see some tongue action? Yes. Told the widget story to the capital crew recently. Sorry, what is Widgety Pinch? Because obviously I'll show you so it sounds weird . I mean, what can you do with that? I mean, look at that it's basically an iceberg. Sing the Titanic, yeah. And we just did the same joke. Yeah, I know we've been doing that for eight years Would you pinch us? I told you this. It's what they call in my house. Okay, 'cause my dad used to make us a baked bought you on a Saturday morning . Right. And then we'd be in the kitchen and he'd tend to grab your widget . And we'd all come around and go widgety pictures. That again to the list for therapy? Widge pictures and he'd grab your willy and it weren't in a weird way. He wasn't weird at all. Sometimes you proper grab your cockpit and you'd be like, Ah, dad now get you, wouldn't you? Sounds weird, but that's why they called Would you pick? My father used to read extracts from Margaret Thatcher's Autobraphy. Well, there you go. Yeah, and look how we both turned out. Exactly. I've told the widget pincher story before, haven't eh? Possibly. They were called and I see even now when I'm making a barbecue, I'm like, someone passed me widgety pinchers. Cause did pinch your widgets. Okay, well that's lovely. This week's to ast goes out to Anna, who says I met William today in Sainsbury's and he was bloody lovely. You were in Sainsbury. I know. I suppose I didn't at that point realise that if I turned right out of the rehearsal studio there was a waitrose turning left there was a Sainsbury's. Thanks to him for taking the time to say hello. I wish I said thank you for being my comfort podcast in tough times. I always listen as well when I'm walking home late at night as it brings me comfort. Also he is very tall and handsome in real life It's bulbed, isn't it? Where's on the clips, Julia ? Bloody ugly. What a day. Good luck with Titanic Titanic. Anna. That's lovely, Anna , you were lovely. I'm glad that we bring you comfort. I'd like to tell Stanna and all the YouTubers that love our new studio as well. Oh my God, the inundated with praise. Thank you to everyone and looking right at you YouT onube. All those love ly comments . Honestly, we love change too. You know, embrace change. So to all those lovely YouTube comments about the new studio , thank you. Thank you. Honestly, it's really helped us this week with everything else that's going on. Your comments have been just what we've all needed. So thank you. He's being a wicked old tease . I am wearing blue just to break up some of the larger expanses of red. You'll never win. You'll never win. I think look, you know, we are aware of a couple of little things that we need to tweak. Wow. In the next coming weeks, we'll just see some little joints. Nobody likes it. It's like when they can you remember back in the day in our I was in sixth form, so it must have been two thousand six, two thousand two thousand six, two thousand seven . Where one for the kids . And redid the BBC Breakfast Studio and it was all the clouds and it literally lasted a month and I actually thought it looked really good. It was a red sofa and clouds and then they changed it to orange squares. I will find these photos. We'll put it on the carousel . Well, you're not changing this. I can confirm we're not changing this. We all know this will see us out . Yeah, definitely . Yeah . Anyway, how the Dickens are used? I'm good. Let's talk about soccer. Well, I want to talk about Titanique. Well, shall we toss for it? Well , you decide. Let's talk about soccer. Let's work in descending levels of bushness, and we'll start with soccer raid. How was it for you? I know it sounds corny, but probably one of the best weeks of my life. Oh so what with the Toy Story Premier? Yeah, so I was like pretending to be a movie star . I felt like Salt Bay at the World Cup. You know, when Salt Bay just turned up at the World Cup and he was like at the end celebrating with Argentina . No, was it Argentina that one it was, weren't it? No. And pouring salt down your arm is such an ache. And everyone's like, What are you doing here? He was just there. It's not even Argentinian. So we get to the red carpet and all the cast are on there like Tim Allen , Tom Hanks, John Kuzak . Yep, yeah, Greta Lee , they're all on there and then they're like having the picture and they're like, Oh, George Sharon, you jump on. I was like, No, no, no, you're all right. I was like, it looked like when Ashley Cole had that picture taken with Chelsea. You know what I mean? Don't you? No, yeah. So I was like, but it was a wonderful experience . Great. Oh , and then I went and drove to soccerade and yeah. And that was at Wembley. That was at the London Stadium, but we trained the London Stadium. That's the Arthural West Ambient West Ambi Hi guys. Hi guys , hi East London. East London. So London Stadium where Westam played where the Olympic stadium was where the Olympics were? Oh, okay, right. Yeah. So we played there, but the week was just great. It's very nerve wracking going down on the first day for breakfast. Okay, and all the tings in there and you're like, Who'd you sit next to? Who did you sit next to? Oh, he's a diamond. Or joint. Danny Dyer sounds a bit like producer Ben's Dog Diego. Yes. You sit here . Yeah, but can I just say Producer Beds dog Diego is camp? I don't think you want to do a camp impression of you sit here a little salt he said how are you? And I've only ever interviewed him on the radio. So he kind of took him under his finger a bit and paddy McGinnis. And it was yeah, he and he's down hey out the telly. He's exactly the same at breakfast. He's just in the queue and he's like serving himself and he goes have a bit of that, slap a bit of that on me tickle. Want a bit of that? What do you think of that sweetheart? And he's like, yeah, a bit of sausage sound . It's exactly like he is. IRL. Must be exhausting. So it's great. Did training ? Yeah, lovely. It was amazing. He just walked around in the training kit thinking you're a footballer. And can I ask who's the longest in the shower? No. Okay, because I'm not going to confirm. When you say who's the longest in the shower, we talk about length of how long you were in the shower or length of something else? So you've just ruined a football joke there. Because that's what you that's what footballers always get asked. How who's the longest in the shower? And you never know what do you mean? Did he take the longest or? Yeah, so it's a soccer joke. AM joke. I should get into foot ball. Yeah. Question for you, which is my standard question to sound interested in football. What was your score on aggregate ? You didn't have aggregate. Did you not? No, I saw everything. think I aggreg gets a thing now . Yeah, we won, by the way. Yes, I know that. Well done. Thank you. Yes, thank you . And how many goals did you score? I didn't score any goals. Oh, but I got a good blocking. I like to think. Did you watch it guys? Yeah. Ben, what do you think of the performance? I think you were really good. I did all right. You get stuck in. You were tight. You had a couple of tidy passes I wanted to see more of you. I wanted to stay on. Yeah. I didn't want to go off . I only played twenty three minutes. But everyone's got to have a go, you see? Yeah. Okay. So everyone's got to play, but I did all right. Considering my first one, I'd love to be called up again. It was on the way there . I get on 'cause I'm fuffing me air, so I get on the coach. Everyone's got the seats. The only seat left Wayne Mooney . Was her someone who ain't fuff with his hair? When I first met , I'd been trying to play with you now. Kind of yeah , I thought they all fell out . Okay, carry on. I've been trying to play Cole all week and when I first met Sinem, I was like, Do I call him Wayne or Wazar? Do I? Wazar? That's what he's known by his teammates. I'm a team out and I went, all right , why was this a Wayne? I'm chosen. And anyway, so I sat next to him . Isn't he a manager now? Yeah, yes, for who out of work? He's not working at the moment. I think Plymouth was his last job. Okay, fine. Saturday swim tried to play it cool. Ended up just saying, So I'm on the phone. He said and I go , you know, World Cup two thousand six . He's like, yeah, yeah, that's in RE, RE teacher made us all say a prayer. So your metatarsal would be alright for the game . And that was the first thing he said to him and he went all right. And he laughed and then I kind of broke the eye. And was his metatarsal then okay? Yeah, it did yeah, it did it heal . So your prayer. I think our prayer. But it's great. It's a great experience. I said to him at the end as well, I went up to him because he's generally Immack like my favourite England players. I was like, Wayne , I mean, all right, I know you get pested, but you're all right to sign this for me cousin or Paul. And we best mate Rick. The big fans he went, Yeah, that's it. He's lovely. It's proper sign , yeah, no problem. And I went, I've been trying to play it cool all week , but can I just say it's been an honor to play on the same pitch as you? And I said, Patty were gonna say , Play it cool all week following him around like a fucking shadow . Oh, lads love that. So yeah, he's good. It's yeah, it was fantastic. It was wonderful. And you get to keep the shirt. You get to keep it all. All yeah, got two shirts. Got the sliders. I've been walking around with socks and sliders all week 'cause I'm a footballer. Are you going to be one of those sort of ask me about being in soccer age sort of people? Yeah . So how's rehearsal going for Titanique? Well, Fan, I do actually have a follow up question about football, but we can do that now or we can come back to it. Ask me now. In Janu, thisinely is something I was thin king about a while ago and I wrote it down in my phone and I thought off the back of soccerade, it's the time to ask. And this is this by the way, I'm not leading up a bit here. I was actually genuine it went through my head. Do goalkeepers ever score goals ? It's been known, not really . Sometimes they'll go up if it's like last minute they'll go up for a corner. I think there probably would have been a goalkeeper that's maybe scored a goal this season but it is very rare. Okay ye,ah. Can you think of an example? Was it Schemichel was quite a famous one? I remember as a kid. Shamichael is that like Shamon? No, Shamichel? Peter Shamichael. Oh, Peter Schmichel. Shamichael? No Schmichel. That's Peter Schmichel. That's not Peter Schmichael. Everyone I know Peter Schmichel. It's Peter Schmichel . It's Schmichel. It's Schemichael . It is trust me. How am I being corrected on football players by him? Shamichael. It's Schemichael. You're mixing up Schumacher and Shamichael. Peter Shamichael and his what was his son called ? Kashpa. Kasper Schemichael played for City was not. Anyway, there was a I'm sure he scored ahead of once . There was a goalkeeper this season who scored a last minute winner for Exeter versus Stockport. Tuesday minute equalizer from the goal. No go for call . That's what I mean. No, no, no, I mean, we can all do it if we well , if you know, we go near the goal, but from goal to goal . That has happened because it has happened to Stoke City, my beloved team. And Asmir Begovich sored against who? Everton, yeah, who? Exactly . But he did score from he booted it. It was a particularly windy day and it blew it into the net over the keeper''ss head? Well, that it. That's all I have to ask. Come on then, Ty Tannik. So at the time yes, this episode going out, you'll be on stage, getting ready getting ready to show. We'll be having our second dress rehearsal in the afternoon, and then we do the first show Tuesday evening. All right I'm nervous but excited. Tense? Yes. That you've been wonderful to be around these past couple years. I actually have been. Thank you very much. I'll have it be known, but my husband will back me up. I've been very relaxed. Good. You're gonna smash it. Well, bless you, thank you very much. And thank you to all the lovely Jan Divas that have messaged to say the book tickets. I very much appreciate that. I'm in it for six weeks only. So if you don't come and see me by the nineteenth of july, miss itiss. M out. I'm gonna come when you want us to come. So you just tell me a date and I'll be twentieth of July. Is that the last show? Is that when you're off? Yeah. No, you can come whenever. Okay . So you literally surprise me , don't surprise me. There are depressingly, members of the cast who are very keen for you to come . Oh , really? Yeah who I won't say I'll introduce you. Oh, okay. don't get excited. How'd you do, Jordan? Why are you offering your hand out? I don't know because it's Theespian, isn't it? It's what? Theespian? Thespian . Cheer Michael Theespian. I think we know after eight years and a couple of months of this podcast you can't pronounce words. But you're ready for it. I am ready for it. And I was slow, I wasn't really embarrassed. I was quite flattered in rehearsal last week when we were rehearsing near where I met Anna in a rehearsal studio and Louisiana, wonderful director, said we were about to do a scene. And she went, Can I just can I just stop everyone? Can I just stop everyone? I'd like to embarrass this person particularly , but it is phenomenal . William Hansen has a fantastic bevel , to which I think I turned to either Cameron or Josh and went, What's a bevel? Because I hadn't. And it's just it's sort of the very butcher man ly way that you put your foot . And so I shall I'm working in a bevel. What's the hell's a bevel? Would you like me to show you a bevel? Didn't I stop them off time at the football? Show us a bevel . You stand like that all the time. I know that's why I've got a fantastic it's just a very camp stand It's a dance move It's a baby describe it . It's your toes pointed and looks proper. There's your bevel . Like put your bevel away little slope. Come on, slip down. Ain't that away? I was in a room full of professional dancers and people that know what they mean. I was very flattered. I want to give you a bit of a pep talk, right? Or I love because a few of our friends and we've got a lot of close friends and our sassy American agent clan, can we call him that Yours . has also said your Santi former agent that you were a bit nervous. So you've got this, right? Thank you. You were born to do this. Just be yourself. You brought the house down on tour. Oh, this is gonna be absolutely fine. And if you mess it up, don't worry. It's only six weeks. It's only six weeks and hopefully I'll get a call up. Yeah, well you probably will. So you've got this. Thank you. Seriously, you'll be fine. Oh bless you. Well, thank you very much It's genuinely, it's lovely. It's the whole cast, the crew, gorgeous people, if nothing else , if I do one show and they decide no for the show, I've had a lovely time in rehearsal. And you've been on the West End, you'll love it, you'll love it. Well, thank you. Ay, also before soccerade and tortoising. I was in Amsterdam. Yes, how was that? How was Waffle making? Oh, yeah, the face like a slap to us. Absolutely bloody loved it. I've got pictures on a scale on the carousel. I've got pictures. I've got pictures. On a scale of sort of one to escape room in Leeds, where were you in terms of your moodiness? I never I've never liked escape room. Jordan doesn't like trying new things. No, I don't like escape rooms. You're there, right? And it was like we had a bit of a when we were on tour years ago we decided to go to an escape room. We actually recorded an episode that never went out. No because you tripped over the zoom record er and the batches fell out and we lost half the episode. Anyway and then proceeded to lie on the floor whilst Ben and I tried to sort of get there. Pretend to be pirates and we had some nineteen year old student going who are like you from bloody Bradford. You are welcome to the escape room leads. Are you ready to board the ship? I'm a fucking ship, you know I was at very similar attitude. P,ast feace like a slap task, got to waffle making. It's pretty much all done for me. I still managed to mess it up . All you had to do was put water in, but I managed to get the wrong measurement of water. Yeah. Absolutely loved it. The girl who did the course was very sassy, very douched. Did you use a waffle maker? You just basically pouring a battery? No, you'd make your roll and you keep rolling and kneading it and stuff and then you put your toppings and it was great. And did you get any nice toppings? Yeah. Two. It was very good. I was fuming though because the cleaner in the hotel binned it the next day. It was in a bag. Oh, so I only had half of it. But it was great. Amsterdam is a beautiful city, by the way. I said this shit. It was in a way not your first time 'cause you went there on the steak due, but your first time properly. I think it's up there with Spain for me. I can imagine myself living there. There's loads of great restaurants, the food. Literally said this two weeks ago. The canals , it's a Georin Dew, if you're listening and you can get some cheap flights out there. It's only hot skipping a jump. Get yourself downstairs down. Couple of problems . What ? Just a few things I want to flag up. With the Dutch or just you and your trip. With my trip okay. So walked into one bar and it was like little hatch and we got there and thought, oh this looks fun. There's a few mates get there and goes stripped of boxes like, Ah , I' som trying to haggle with him going, don't really do that, Pal, can I just undo my shirt a bit? Don't do stripped of boxes . So that was avoid certain places like that. Okay, walk past this vibrant really viby bar. Yeah. And when you say Vibe Bar, what do you mean? Like loads of people outside, everyone looked cool, everyone looked like you had lovely weather. Really fit, yeah, yeah. So I walked out and so walked past it and I'd only had two drinks by then. Walked in, yeah , and I was like, looking for a bar and this guy was like, Screws me, how are you? And I was like, It were you. He was asking. He was like , This is my house . So I'd walked into someone's front room, bro. I didn't realize 'cause they live so close on the canal. They live so close in the canal and they have people around it at the weekends and they all sit outside drinking. It's like, This is my harsh, come my harsh. I was like , Where's your bar? And I didn't 'cause they all just sit outside your bottles of wine and I thought, Oh, I'll go in it was really cool bar. I was like, Why's the making? You use your pisser. I was like, Leave, please leave. So that was one issue. Anne Frank's Museum. You know, I've always wanted to go to Ant Frank. Yeah , the house. The house and re Iad' theve book and you ready . So I'm in the queue for like twenty minutes and she's like tickets please and I'm like, oh sorry I can't get a ticket. She's like it's a shixmouth waiting list. But I really want to go. So the next time I'm gonna go you've got a book just any G and D was watching the listening, just make sure you get your tickets for the Anne Frank Museum in time. I just gosh it's fine. Judith Charles is still with us . So yeah, other than that, wonderful city . Yeah . Good . So just if you're gonna go 'cause make sure you get your tickets. And then we're gonna go to Van Gogh Van Golf Museum. Van Golf. Yep. Can see it on the internet, are you? Well, I mean you, can see anything on the intern et. Trust me, I know So that's me. What else has been going on with you? Well, I went to go and see after long it was my Christmas present from Mikey. I went to go and see my biggest op addington in the West End, and obviously I've got opinions about Paddington because he turns up to anything. I was surprised he's even on the on the stage. He probably just assumed he'd be busy turning up somewhere else, but no he was there . It's a good musical. Is it? It's a very good musical. I say that begrudgingly . No, act two is too long, but other than that it is a good musical . There was one bit, I don't want to spoil it with anyone. I mean, it is the plot of the first film. So if you have seen the first film, I'm not ruining anything. But there's one bit where Mikey was in absolute floods of tears. And I went, No, Mikey, they have not just killed Paddockton Bear in front of a room full of kids. Like, calm down. All right, okay, he isn't dead I was proof right. He cried. Mine was an absolute floods of tears and I sort of got a little bit emotional at point, but I didn't I didn't cry he cried because I knew that he wasn't going to die . But the song was there a couple of good songs. Okay . When I come to watch your in Titanique, I'm going to take a note, pad and pen. Oh gosh, just make critique. I have a Okay, second act too long. I might just when we make eye contact, I might just do a When we make eye contact, you're going to sit that far forward, are you Right so Jordan, you're joking. I've done three weeks of rehearsals. That's what Louis director does. She sits there and I do something and then I see her eyes go down and I know I did my kitboard change on the wrong foot. That's fine. I know I'm going to get pulled up on that. Yeah, what's the I am struggling. What's your plant? What's it called? Bevel. You bevel, I'll be notified. I won't get any notes, negative notes on that. I might have a couple of things to say in them, what's that? Right. Well not bevel . There are lovely bits where I will where we all have to turn in the same direction and there's a nice generally if the cast is having to turn to the right, I will go to the left . So you have your own little Are you doing that accidentally on purpose? No , I'm doing that completely accidentally. Okay. But Louis has said to me if and don't go toes the right. If in doubts got to the right. Yeah. Obviously part of the reason why he got the role is because of your because he's fab and I won't have anything else said about our friend. Oh bless you're dying. Thank you. The Kylie the Kylie performance. It is actually genuinely so when I got asked to do it and they said do you have any examples of you performing on stage? And I thought, well, I've got couldn't possibly think of anything. The arena tour. So we asked us Kylie. We clipped up me as Kylie and you and me as our respective mothers and I sent that to them and then they offered off the back of that. That's amazing. Well, I was gonna say actually, obviously as that performance is now infamous, the Kylie, obviously a lot of people have seen it and they're reading with her documentary. Have you seen it? I started to watch it the other day, yes. I need to watch that and Hulk Hogan . Very similar. I don't know, but I watched twenty minutes of episode one. Oh, and then fell asleep. Oh, I'm Vinny Jones as well. That'll be what I do. This I'm in the hotel tonight. Well, I'd recommend Kylie. It brought me to tears. I did it. Oh, I haven't got to anything emotional yet. Well, there's lots of emotion to come, William. Also, I've seen a clip where she was talking on a radio station. They asked her what was her most sort of what costume would she li toked wear again the most. And she talked about the blue showgirl costume, which is what I wore. And then she would say, Oh , it was very stiff and I couldn't move my neck, et cetera. Well, she wanted Clinton to design it for her. Then she could have done because I could. Hey, where is my card of costume? I want that back for memory purpose Halloween. Yeah, where is that? It's in a warehouse, I believe. Oh, it's in Manchester. They will. They are ours, I believe. Yeah, Stewart is saying that he's got them and will reunite us with them at some point. Stewart's just using them for himself for a few weeks. Speaking of Kylie Paddington , guess which celebrity is a massive gene Diva , but wasn't just saying it to be about love your podcast. Give me some clues good. Genuine bumped into them this week. Okay, give me some clues. Global. Was that? Not Wazer. Not Amanda Sokraid, not Amanda Holland. He was in the global building? Are they a global presenter? No . Tom Holland . Spider Man . If only . It would give me more clues. I don't actually fun enough know who's been in the global building this week. Writer . Of what? Russell T. Davis. Yay Genuine Jean David and I've seen a lovely message. I was chatting for Edges. He loves you. Yes, I know why I did the wheel with him years ago. Oh, did you? yeah, I know him and his boyfriend when he's next in London so we'll go off a drink with him. Well, hello Russell. Yeah. You can watch his new show Tipto on channel. That's on my list. That video? Yeah, that's on my list too. Kylie van, Hulk Holan. You're either doing really butch or really not butch with that list, I feel . Yeah, Picolane. Vinny Jones. Kylie . What do you mean? Well, you know, either do sort of lean into the campness or the butcherness. The butcherness. I like to broaden me horizons. Right . Okay, well talking about broadering horizons, would you like to make us all roar with laughter with Jordan's jolly joke of the week? Yes, of course. Alright, here's the jingle if you like a chap i and northern, you're in for a treat with a Jordan and if a giggle is what you see you're sure to love Jordan's jolly joke of the week juj u judge . Oi, alright, let me try and find them. It's been a while. It's been a while. All right, this is from India. Says I got fired from my job at the Sperm Bank recently and I'll tell you the punchline after a break. All right, J Deanavis, thanks for sticking with us. Today's jelly joke is from India Dale who sent this one. I got fired from a job at the Sperm bank recently. Apparently I couldn't drink on the job. She also went. She also sent this cracker. India's nailed it. So we just found out that granddad is addicted to Viagra . No one's taking it harder than grandma Good jokes. Well than India. There you go India. No one's taking it harder than Grandma. That's fun. Yes. Taking it harder than grandma . Now it's time for us to help you with your modern day dilemm as. And remember, we have no idea what's going on. So William Hanson. What have you got for us please? This is from Anonymous Steer William Jordan EPB and the Wonderful Sex of Team. I'm writing to you with an uncomfortable dilemma. I have a great relationship with my husband. We've been together for nearly twenty years . Our sex life has had its ups and downs, but generally it's been doing very well lately. However, I think I found out why. The other day oh my god this is as if we write this. The other day I found a bottle of Vaikra hidden in the closet. I definitely didn't know this. No, we didn't. It was definitely placed out of the way somewhere I couldn't have expected to find it. I'm feeling iffy about this. I feel like my husband and I have always been able to be open about things, but it also seems like he's been intentionally hiding his use of Igra. I'm not upset that he's taking it. Things have been going very well in the bedroom. I just feel a little upset that it was kept secret or maybe that he feels the need to hide it. My question is, do I bring this up and address it at some point with him? If so, what do I say? Or do I just ignore it, knowing that clearly it's something he feels self conscious about? Thank you in advance for advice and perspective . Or do you talk about yours? Joke not wrong with second of Viagra? No, I would say he does clearly feel a little bit conscious about it. I don't think I think I can understand why you would very easily go into the Oh my gosh, he's hiding something from me. What else is he hiding from a spiral ? I understand that . I think in this instance it's purely that he feels a bit self conscious about it. He shouldn't, but he does . Because even though there is nothing wrong with taking viagraph. you If need to take it for medical reasons , there is still a slight stigma around it, and I would imagine that is in his head and nothing else. Yeah, I'd address it definitely. And say what William said. There's no shame in it. I think that's probably why he's been hiding to be fair. So just yeah just address him say there's no shame in it . Yeah find a way to talk about it but if he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't want to talk about it. I dropped one in mebrew once yes. I mean, no won't go The punchline is biscuit, isn't it? Nub won's go hard but, with biscuit won't go soft . How would you think you would start that conversation with the partner in a sort of in a way that wouldn't embarrass the other half? I've got a bit of a hard quest ion for you good. Yeah . I don't know because you can't really admit that you've found it because then it sounds like you've been snooping. Is it true? Depends where you have found it. Is it true of girls get them to get a wide on? On the basis that the girls in the studio have just reacted how they have reacted, I think the answer is no. I think they'll told that in year ten or so . Yeah, well, I think year ten, probably not. So wide on even a thing , no . An unnamed member of the production team has just said you want it tighter not wider . This is from Anonymous Williams podcast not a sex podcast, William Jordan, the sex team recently started listening to your podcast When I'm cooking or occasionally in the shower. I've been struggling recently, this podcast always brings a smile to my face. I'm just being told by I'm just being directed . Well, I take direction very well actually is what I've been told. Not from blood others, you don't. No, only by people that know what they're talking about. I bring to you a dilemma, which I'm sure is shared by many other listeners. Don't tell the pitch, but do it normal wake on. I matched with a lovely gentleman on Bumble. He was tall, fit, had a Scottish accent, was my type and emotionally intelligent, or so I thought. It seemed like the perfect match. The only problem was that he worked in the military , and I work shifts . So finding a time to actually have a day proved difficult. Oh, it is hard in the military. We continued to message regularly and shared plenty of photos normal and cheeky. He then had a nine month deployment. We'd already been chatting for around three to four months by this point. We agreed that once he returned we'd finally go on a date and see if we were as compatible in real life as we were online. Cut to nine months later, it's December. We've been talking throughout and he finally returns to the UK. I ask when he's available to go out and then he ghosts me . Over a year of time and effort spent on this only to be ghosted, which I found quite confusing. That's a shit , do that . As he didn't even get a shag out of it. My dilemma is this, do I get my frustrations out by sending him a rude message about how he wasted my time and if he wasn't interested he could just have said so or do I just cut my losses and try and move on ? Another year older and still single. Anonymous. That's horrible that for nine months you text in a messaging him and then when he gets back yeah I send him a message. Usually I would say ignore it but I think he deserves a shitty message if I'm honest. Okay, I would say do two things . One, write that message in the notes section of your phone or on a piece of paper. That's good advice. Get it out your system and then sit on it for a few days, don't do anything and then go back. Personally , I don't actually think sending that message will achieve anything, but if it the only thing it would achieve is making you feel better . And if it's going to achieve that, send the message, but I think you can probably achieve the same results by writing it in the notes section of your phone. Write in the notes section of your phone and then a few days later when sober and perfectly fine. If you feel like sending it, send it. I would hm writing stuff in your notes section's very saved me to be fair, why we're still doing this? Yes, just so you are never going through that next section . Our next dilemma is I'm joking our next dilemma mind you're tour rehearsals. Oh my God . Our next dilemma is from Riley, Dear Sexter Team. I'm a sixteen year old G and Diva but I regret to admit I've been watching for many years . Arguably too young, but it's impossible to resist the weekly fun of each episode. Too young to watch this. In September, I'll be in sixth form, and I want to commit to my goal of wearing a suit each day. The majority of students wear casserole clothes, which could include gray joggers, t shirts and even crop tops. I wanted to fly this Norman channel my inner William Hansen. Was this Freddy from years ago? Is this Freddy that's sending this in? It's only just come through now. Also, I need help from you both in deciding which method of storage I will use to bring my essentials to and from school. My initial thoughts were a briefcase. Now we're sitting in between this because it seemed like the only acceptable form of luggage was my outfit. Thus, please give you both give me some guidance on which colour suit I should buy and how I'm going to carry all of my needs to and from school. May I add that just good manners significantly help me to put other people before myself and develop my confidence, so thank you, William. Kind regards, Riley. Or Riley, you sound like a good egg. Yeah, Riley, you be you, Patal as well. So I love this. And if you're going to go into college, six form in a suit, you do it. I'd recommend a navy one. Yes, dark navy. Yeah. Also you can get you can get you can get some good suits from like Primark and that now I will one and just if it's a bit big just get it tailored for twenty thirty quids. I would completely agree. It doesn't matter where you get it from just having it. Depending on some people can just wear suits off the peg and it doesn't, you know, they wear it beautifully . Most people need a little bit of an attack. Let's get a nip and a tuck on it. It won't cost too much get taken in. But then also he's on the sixteenth so he's going to have a gross burt I wouldn't say briefcase I mean if you want to do a briefcase that's cool but not many people have briefcase now so there's many alternatives'.s There like shops you can use. Right, I have some thoughts. Okay . So I love the fact you want to wear a suit. I think that's great and should be applauded and I'm sure you'll look great in it wherever that suit is from provided if you get it nipped and tucked. However , it does depend on what your sixth form dress code is. If you have got other people in t shirts and gray joggers , you just have to accept that you are going to stand out and whilst adults know that you are standing out for all the right reasons , people of your age , you are setting yourself up for a slightly more difficult time than you probably need. Now, if you're okay with that, that's absolutely fine . But I would perhaps find a middle ground . Maybe a nice relaxed jacket , an open neck shirt, or you could wear over a t shirt if needs to be a nice good quality t shirt and some smart trousers would be fine perhaps. Maybe start with that . It also depends on whether you are going to this is this the sixth form of your existing school, so you have existing relationships with people or is this a new place that you're going to and you don't know anyone? And first impressions do count. So I would probably say work up to the suit rather than starting with the suit personally as someone who, you know, did wear quite a bold suit in my sixth form. Short stripe . Grey and navy. Well, well, one was gray with a tall stripe, one was navy with a short stripe . I don't remember Mr. Binn's a great inspiration to me, one of my English teachers walking past me in an assembly going. Chalk stripe bould which I think I knew what he meant , but I committed to it. I just wonder if we can find a photograph. I'm sure we have a photograph. Yeah , but just you might just want a bit of an easy life because whilst you are there to , you know , wear whatever you want to wear. You are also there to learn. And then the thing that's going to distract you from learning or put you in the wrong headspace because people are being a bit nasty to you , you perhaps just might want to build up to it, as I say. You be you, Riley, if you want to wear a suit better, even better. Take I'd say take the briefcase if you've got a brother that's older and harder. That was like me at school. Right. Got away with murder. I don't know. I actually find briefcases impractical. So I wouldn't take a briefcase. Yeah, I do. You can get a soft if it's a soft leather briefcase where it's the very hard freemasonry sort of briefing. Soft level with a strap on a satchel as you may. A satchel. Yeah, that would look great. I would do that. Or a canvas tote is fine. Do you think anyone ever said to James at school, though don't mess with him, he's William Hanson's brother. Oh, I'm sure yes. I mean, I'm sure James, you know, James got really easy ride at school because you know, 'cause yeah, I did as well. That's great North's brother . Yeah, and then he joined the Amry of sixteen. Ryan and I have very similar characters . You joined the army at sixteen, so yeah ten eleven have to fend for himself . A lot of people got their revenge in year ten. That's all I'm going to say. This is from Luke D,ear Willi Jamordan E,PB and the Sex Team. I have found myself in a rather hairy situation. I've been getting my haircut by a hairdresser called Rachel for over five years now. She's lovely, knows all my gossip and generally does a decent job. However, recently she went on holiday and colle herague Andrew stepped in to cut my hair. He did an amazing job and my hair looked vastly better. So here in lies my hairy conundrum. Do I remain loyal to Rachel and continue receiving what I can only describe as perfectly adequate haircuts, or do I come clean and tell her I'm switching to Andrew despite the fact that he works for her? Am I overthinking this or is changing hairdresses within the same salon the follicular equivalent of leaving your wife or her sister? Yes. Your dilemma daddy wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Love the show , and I can't wait to see William and Titan, he can june Luke. Well, I'll be looking out in the audience for the person with an adequate haircut I don't think you can on it. You could I don't think you can you could leave the salon themselves . Yeah. But Ollie does my hair just before I went to Amsterdam fun enough. I couldn't I couldn't get him into her to go somewhere near work and he was fine with it. Like it was it was like at least you gave him first response of a relationship is like it's fine. I want you to do this. Like you just get it doing. It needs doing . The text we were sending each other even got voicemes and stuff. Like it's like, D'ont worry, tell him you want this. And at the end I was like, he weren't as you know, he weren't as nice as you, he was a lot quicker that kind of thing. He was quite rough and stuff. And then when he seen me, it tended to be cool. He went, I mean, what is he doing? You like a South American soccer player is what he said . So I don't think you can cheat on Rachel. You've got to stick with it. But maybe just say can I have it a bit more ? You could but they all do their own thing anyway. They never bloody listen any hairdressers or barbers. You could try to find out when your Rachel is going on holiday . You know, that's the novel number one topic conversation with hairdressers is when you're going holiday or if you've got holid any ays planned, then make sure you then keep booking with the other person over those times. And you might be able to sort of have them both and sort of have a couple with him, couple with Rachel. When you go, it's chatted away you say, and how's Anne? Do you say that? Because she obviously cuts Princess Anne's hair as well. Princess Anne would go to the same salon, yes. Do you say has Anne this week ? I was the salon goes to her. , see Anne tell her a week a bob looked cracking you? say Do stuff like that? Well, I don't think the Princess Roar has a bob. No, you say I do look cracking. Right. She's alright, Anne. Actually, I was taught, yes, I do like the Princess Roll. I was talking about this with Mikey yester day. When we lived in Manchester, my lovely hairdresser, Kate, who actually turns out was called Gemma, Long Story , but I called her Kate . She was in a salon in the city cent re for years and that's where I would go. And I'm making these figures up now. I would pay forty pounds or something for a haircut . And then in the last year of me living in Manchester, she moved to a salmon in Droilston So which for those that don't know is a city or a city town outside of Manchester . So I would then drive to Droilston and would have exactly the same haircut for fifteen pounds. It's great . So it's cheaper to get your haircut in Dryston than Manchester . Yeah . The city centre of Manchester versus Droyldestone, but the hairdresser was safely moved sad. You're gonna bring the house down on that west end shore. I tell you. Can't wait to read the novel . You 're the hell is that you hold Judas in the corner . Can't wait wait to read the novel. That was a good one for you , then. Thank you. Could I do one more? Our final demo is from JD . Vance. You are going to regret that . You will invite on the house at one, mate. And the rest dear William Jordan and the rest of the sexed crew . I'm a long haul truck driver and your podcast has been a huge help in keeping me entertained on the road. I've been listening for a couple of years now and I finally have a dilemma worthy of your expertise. Bring it to us, Jadie. I'm a man who enjoys going to a massage parlour occasionally towards the end the Masus may offer me what we'll delicately call additional relaxation services. During one such visit, I was receiving my weekend release and in an effort to be polite and discreet, I tried to let the woman know that I was nearing completion. Not wanting to be loud, I whispered it. Unfortunately, she didn't hear me and leaned in closer at the exact worst possible moment. Before either of us could react, I had reached the point of no return and accidentally finished on her face and hair. So my question is this, what is the proper etiquette for warning a masseuse that one is about to reach climax without causing a truly unfortunate facial incident. Yours in shame and confusion JD the poor Mrs. Book surely But if she's offering that I mean that probably is gonna happen. Yeah and surely she should have known. I would just say don't whisper it. You know, I've I mean, I don't like massages because I don't want people to touch you. But when you touch someone off, have you known come. You can't adjust you know, don't you? Sometimes but communication is very important in a relationship . I think if the Masus is unless it was the first time , she'll learn she'll learn the hard way, but like you watch pawn and you know they're going to come . Hm , don't you? Yeah, you generally do know. maybe the master needs to work on not a technique but a I don't think you did anything wrong, JD, so I wouldn't I wouldn't sort of Well, if he's worried too. Toes are curling and he's not vinegar strokes, surely if his eyes like that. I think the learn here toes are curling. Don't whisper it. Yeah, maybe don't whisper it. Yeah. Scream it to the rooftops. Yeah, how would it sound, Ben? Come on, roleplay. I'm the master screaming. Come on, we're roleplaying. I'm coming . Oh my wait, come on. Let's do it again . I'll clean it up a sick in my mouth . Harm's up for you . I'm coming . Hake up . Well, that's helpful. Glad we were that you sound like you weren't condulgens at Blackpool. Please don't hope you don't say that. I'm coming . I'm coming Yuppe Can't wait to read your novel . I told you that oh wait that'll fester. That will fester that one . When his teacups and folk spoons out of it's tea cup fateful May next year we've got months . What was it called? Teapots and forks being? A fatal forking. Oh, fatal forking. Yes. Thank you for your questions and dilemmas. Remember if you need your help with something, then do get in touch. You can send your tales of trepidation to help at sexmyboss dot com or you can