Workplace Tardiness and Darkroom Consent

There's lots of very funny dilemmas coming your way in just a moment. You can watch every episode of Hel I Sex with My boss too. From Jordan's attempts to be a YouTuber back in twenty ten, seriously the secondhand embarrassment is real. to William's reaction to seeing a fanny for the first time. There are so many brilliant moments that you need to see Search for H I seected my boss on YouTube and hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Welcome to Help I Sected my boss. a podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern day life, answering your twenty first century questions and finding solutions to those everyday dilemmas. Like what should you do when the bride and groom go to bed before you get to their wedding? And how do you reassure your brother that you're not actually dying when youre call to say you love him And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss? But we're not usual, Ion answer are we William Hanson, the UK's leading etiquette expert. No, we're not Jordan North, Capital Breakfast showhow host. I'm Mor Bevill, you're M more Bv Rll That's from Adam. Very good. what bevel for dononkeys shres. Howavef you not I haven't had a bevel in the last hour. What's a bevel? It's not a type of chocolate. It is it's a sort of that thing I showed you with my sort of camp leg. Oh, That's the best. I bevel a lot on stage. in the thing that it will not be mentioned. No, you come in. No, No, because you'd all get me me it's not. It's fact, How are you, my little West end girl Yes, I told you to stop calling me back. No, it's during the day. I'm just gonna just do the ice work. Enjoying it now? Loving it. Yeah. looving it, genuinely. A feeling like a star No, don't be silly. I've got my tickets. Have you? Are you telling me which performance you're coming to? No, I might keep it spr Be they'll probably inevitably want to a photo with you afterwards for some reason, so you'll need to let me know. Although I've had a few people DM me saying that I get a good mention For now, I didn't got a very good laugh on the Saturday Matatterurday so it might go No, but its back in there tonight. O is it? Yeah. So you tucking it out. But eicularly, nothing got a lagh on the Saturday matter. it a tough? It's always different in afteron. I just don't think people have been drinking long enough. Sunday Matineay on the other hand, you know, they've they've accrued it over the over the weekend. I can't wait to watch it. Oh, please let me know when you're waiting To see my little West Eng girl. I'm going beaming for me to her. Bless you. Well, I'm looking forward to hay you. I'm coming in the week though You're coming in the week you don't care. So much you mean to me? Oh way. I'll try and go quickly so you can go to bed. I only leave the house for paddle in the week football and you. You're genuinely not coming to want you genuinely have booked one of the shows that I'm not doing. Whats me? You know on the website? Did you book v the website It has my face on all the shows I'm doing. Well, well what shows aren't you doing? Are you coming this week? No, you'll be fine. Why? Because there are only two I'm not doing this week. Oh why? Prior commitments. I'm leading a protocol training course in Brussels. It's very similar too. Couldn't you cancel that? No. whyy So this one called a contract. Wh why I get a layer? h. I also want to. Okay. That's the other thing. Right Ive done I've done Eugena Dubonne. Yeah. This week's toast goes to John, the lovely John who I met at the stage door of the aforementioned show that I'm not allowed to say. I didn't say it, Ben. I didn't say it Now John, he's a teacher He listens religiously every week. He wakes up always on a Tuesday and has never not listened to us within sort of an hour or two Oh I' sorry for Andy was coming Its you're mentioning else I' mentioningm We're going to mention yours in a minute. He wakes up listens religiously to the podcast every time it drops. He has never listened a day late. Oh for however long he's listened. He's a Platinum Ge Diva? Oh okay, yes, I think he's probably Platinum something else, having met him. He is the uncle of one of my fellow cast members Charlotte Su, who has been phenomenal. She was on as Celine. She' was first cover Celine You name every friend and tell us what they've been name Oh, you know Julie, Julie Walters. Oh Julie, Yes, Julie. a good friend of mine back in the eighties we did a show inide. We did showing to cometh up and then obviously Juda went off to do the TV. you know Miriam, Marg Margle iss Miriam, Yes, Miriam to me. Yes She was also on the one amazing. We had some great laughs me and Miriam back in the day Right, well look this is for John. Oh and also to Wendy, happppy sixieth No she's fifty start creeping now because I' not I'm waiting to hear back from my regarding last week ont you asked about her employment history So time waiting to hear back about it. Just happy birthday, M. Happy birthday, Wendy, and John, this is to you Delicious 'm sixty, I still feel twenty one? She definitely doesn't look sixty fair to your mum She doesn't, Oh, you're doing gone Chuckaana, get on good bs Um What are a hair looks manager? Hir looks lovely our sves. take care of her. She And she's also one of those that like she can do a lot with her hair. L I've seen her different No, I've seen different I've seen her do different hairstyles. Yeah And she's not afraid to try things. C couldn't tell you what she is naturally I don't know. Asll see your dad. Um, Wow Wow How are you? I'm good. I'm good. How are you? How was? onine? Well, was I was in the Tesco Express near the theatre the other day buying a bottle of fairy liquid for as I just called it over my house, liquid Um for That's very go. Thank you. from a dressing room from my Martini station, which is proving controversial, We' come onto that And I was literally just buying the fairy liquid. I was just in the self service checkout. and this kindy next to me goes, Excuse me, mate I can ask you a question, and I thought Okay, what's this going be? Are you the guy of TikTok, podcasts, blah blah blah.ait D didid your misses tell you to go and get that? And just just lookent I didn't really know where to start. I went No I'm gay and I quite like washing up And he didn't really say anything after that B. Hey. It is of no business to anyone what another person is buying that you do not know. Even if you know them, I wouldn't even comment on her friend's basket But also A man cannot go out and buy washing up liquid. What sort of stone age are we living in? Maybe he was chatting you up to see if you had a girlf? I down to it. Why did he say that that's a random thing? Was he pissed? No, this was' another the day. He was just heavy. it was What usually I'll get Mark Camel to work, that kind of thing He was just from a Life's moved on and he hasn't. that's what I would say. But I was quite taken aback. Okay. But I was buying this very liquid for my Martini station, which I discussed last week on the podcast that I you know, I got permission from the company managers to sort of have the equipment you needed from Mrini in my dressing room Allow many other actors who are known to Martine is in the dressing room. Anyway, so it all arrived and ahead of the Friday performance I made one for myself No one else was really around. A couple of people started to arrive. This was about two hours before the show. Oh, that's early I got I was keen. and u I'm standing chatting to some of the chats in their dressing room and we're all chatting and another member of the company walks in and looks at me as if I was a suicide bomber and I was like, what I'm sorry And he says what's doing, Is I aam Martini And turns out you're not really encouraged to drink before the show Ohy Daring. Oh why? Yeah I don't know. Is it bad luck? Yeah, I have checked my contract, there's nothing in it but for a lot of us because we usually have everyone does you We have a good few before we go on stage for the tour. You know, if I was in Cassabian, for example, Oh no, don't laugh If it is a gig comment if it a stand up comedian. You have a drink.. If you're a musician, you have a drink.. But if you're a A theatre performer, you can't drink. know certain actors I referenced last week do. A lot don't drink now in the early days they'd be on it and then because it's Tourin now ar they make the money. So a lot of them don't drink. So when you interview them and stuff Yeah a lot, they like, oh no, we don't really drink around tour. A lot of them do the ts now sober and then go on holiday to get pissed and stuff. Well anyway, I have not had a b. You ruffling feathers? behave I? I' not ruffling feathers. ' we love you know what you like, but some people don't. so just getting today what I'm like. Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah. and where this works this cocktail station is, have you has it replace somebody who was meant to be, I don't doing the makeup there No, no, no, no, no. Is it a free space? Yeah Yeah. Oh it's tiny I mean, it's you know,'sAa big. so it's fine. Buty anyway, I haven't touched it since Okay, the the allure has faded But never mind J just go out for a martie, you know? Yeah, Which again defeats the object of having one. Make your own, makeake your own. What's been going on with you? I do love Arg and Divvers U E the ones that comment about the set that you get very Oh even them one, everyone's entitled to an opinion, Milliam. Yes. I love Ar Jene Divis because I was at the tennis this week and On the way a couple said, Hello And just as u finished. U by the way, I was you've changed your g to tennis. I got tickets before I going. Go and have a look, Go and show me face. Generally encouraged if you have tickets to go to the tennis. Yeah. So I was there and this guy come up is known I assumed he wanted a selfie. This is happening quite a lot. He, uh, wasn't from this country. So de and Yeah. He didn't know. Just saying it m because we didn't know who are And he'd gone to watch Toy Store in another country at Yeah. And there's a lot of people watching. and I thought, o, here we go. So he came. and I went, Oh yeah, and he went I went to take a shlf of him and grabbed him. He didn't want the picture wanted me to take a picture of him just with the court in the background then got a lot of laugh in the audience. So everyone's like laughing. In the audience? Yeah, so in the crowd. Right I felt like a knob. It was very humbling experience and rightly so got up of my station. And then some Gean Divvers actually came over like Natalie who asked me to get a picture and sign an autograph and then Mary came over who's Daughter Lessons a podcast and made me sign an Andy Murray autograph card. Okay But it just makes me love him even more. So it's a very embarrassing and humblly moment. and Gan Davvers came to rescue me. So thank you to them. bless you. It was very. And he did the whole I would'd expect William here but not you and you've changed myself. forot to say come to I went in like a suit or I was them you, my jeans and Very casual How was it casual there's no dress code for that? No okay. yeah anyway, so did you watch any good That action I don't really know much about. No, I don't really I kind I'm even in paddle Inoy people because I'm playing off the list actually are you because I was going to ask you what you're doing after this? What are you doing after this? Paddle? Literally paddle. Yeah, why? Oh I'm going to the gym. I thought we I thought we'd be g becausecause I would have been going. Oh that's That is meant to be. Oh, praise the exercise Gods. Thank you 'causeuse out yeah. I can take someone. I can change my pl. No You can come to paddle if you want Anyway, I'm always going What score is it? What score is it I've been told as well, you know I go They're on boards or something. Well, no, not in paddles. It's just thing said I'll go what's go fifteen love and I go, Cheers, love. And then I' go, What's go is it to go juice? And I go, No, more right, I've got water. Never gets alone. No Never gets to laugh, but it makes me happy Well, if the producers of my show are listening and would like to cast Jordan, you know, there we go. I'm a very angry paddle player as well. Are you? Yeah I get a bit frustrated. It's just a game. It's cous again, unndiagnosed. It's My my mom and brother have been diagnosed here with dyspraxia Is it like I told I mo move light buuzz light ye God, everything's a reference. And now that wasn't a reference. Was it not? Hi guys. Helli Benen. Hi Ben. Can I pick up on something Jordan just said. Did you say that you did a sign like you pretended to be Andy Murray with your signature?? No, no, no, I just signed Andy Murray's card. but you signed it Jordan. I've got signed Jordan North Yeah. I'll put on with You' like your crimes. I don't want you to signed Jordan North. And it was really embarrassing because then I was like becausecause not only other Like not only had I thoughtought someone out of your self, youd then had to Ask Kdie Spout. tennis. What For me, I can never spell tennis How' she sell it? It was Chloe tennis appreciate and there's los of other words that I can't spell, but tennis is it two Is it dou N and double IS? and I was being No T E dou N IS. she's been T ye. I know's tenennis isis is. Oh other stuff at thislik. All right, than. I the confusing one in all that must be Paddle Pado is P AD E L Tchnically, it's Pado Cad But no . Anyway. so yeah. I'm so happy with yourself. so sweet. Are we been nice to each other today? We're always nice to each other. Oh we are. we are. So yeah, I got that after this. We are now again, I'm sorry going to be representing the other much discussed T word, which is Toy Story five. And I had a message from my sister in law to say that it says This morning, Matt, that's her husband, was talking to Annie, my niece or M his niece, about Willie being in the West E trying to explain more about it. and she just responded But Jordan's in Toy Story five, which is really lovely. So thanks, Annie. My work here is done. Thank you. Thank you very much. And I just responded with Annie will live to regret this at Disney when I take her in a few weeks and she inevitably wants a toy and I will say, why don't ask Jordan to buy you instead that's fine. Tough love. No that's fine. I do. understand that. I forget it. Do think there'll bearden gnome toysneylands custed enough. You've on a picture You're pitching it. got to des say. I don't want to can't give too much labor. Okay. Garen know I'm gonna try and get back up to Burnley Okay. find these other garden gnomes. Put that in the pixel release. And ifual flamingo's gonna come with us Okay, and yeah I think that that's so'th late. Thank you That would be great.. Now same we did last week to much success was we got in touch with One of your brothers? Yeah, Brads Hello Brad. He's annoying me at the moment But not love him this. little boy's not pooed for a week. so we've been having regular updates, which everyone in the family is up to. and then The little baby He' literally st still a baby had a massive shit in an appppy that was The biggest shit I've ever seen don't say, he sent a photos.. Yes. And we are absolutely not putting. we're not car No So you c that out. So now I'm annoy him again now. but that's part of brotherly love. You know what? I love my brothers Okay, there you go. Right,oldold hold hold that thought. Because I noticed when I was watching the clip back and listening to the episode, you said to Brads I love y Now I would say I love yuck It's not Yeah, it's not quite the same as I love you It's the same as when people go, love you as opposed to I love you. I is the personal bit and you is making it about. say to family I love you, I love you to bit. Yes, I love you So listen, listen, listen, lookook at me, Look at me I love you. I love you. Yeah, you see I love you. Look at me. I love you Yeah. It's quite hard. Well Also Yeah, no, that was just love you. People can say love you, but they very few people can actually get away withid comfortable with something. we just stop saying act canan we just all be like in the thirties and forties and not show our emotions And really have switch personalities? deal with it in later life. Right. Do Do you say I love you to James like that? I love you. I love you. Do you tell Dom you love him, your brother? My brother, No, I don't. See, thank you. Everyone's having a Have you ever told your brother, you love him I don't think so. Right, We'll ring him up now and hang onold hold down see, haveave you ever told your brother you love him Jack you never told your siblings. its just is different Well, on this, one of your other brothers got in touch with us because he was a bit put out. Which one now? They all sound the same, but I believe it's Doms. Here's the clip So I've heard through the grapeeline, you ask Jordan to call one of his brothers and tell them that he loves them. And he's picked Bradley and I was a second four or I wasn't even a four or. and I'm starting to think this is a recurring theme. I was left in the dark for Summerertime Ball again. what's going on? You've known me longer for a start. You've locked me in suitcases. Right. We've lived together as adults. Is it to do with the fact that you won't let me go on your bikeking cap tricks or punched you in the nose? Youre harboring ill feelings against me still. Just let me know. anyytime you feel like calling me up and tell me you love me up I'm here. I'm an open book. You know where I am, love you. Oiew Sxted Gang, or v you William First of all, I didn' we were playing magicians and I locked them in a suitcase. You playing magicians I was a big ster please fun. Oh, please tell me you were Dbbie McGe. No Brad. I loved Stephen Maln so I was playing magicians and I couldn't open the case nearly died. But it's all fine. uttering my dad at work, it was a Sampsonight. I had to remember the code.. And at the time I think he was away on exercise in the Breck and Beacon. so. We have to ring him get the code for the suitcase. It's fine. He's not traumatised or got deep issues with claustoproby or anything like that. So hang on, who is in the suitcase? Dom Dom, Fank. We're playing magicians. Well, that's normal. Right. Okay. So it's not like that AI five agent? I won't know be. I he came to soccerade and Yeah, okay. And what happened to Summertime Ball 'cause I only get certain tickets. And who got your tickets My other brother and his wife and kids And did your other the brother that came to suummertime all come to socerade? OkayK, well, that's fair enough. And he will that means he's on the list for Jingle Bell Doms knows I love him. Dom, if you're listening, I love you Oh, you said it Thankk you. I also feel for balance you should also just broadcast a Ryan. Ryan, I love you Well done They are I've seeam m in tomorrows we're gonna to watch the footy together. Oh, well that's lovely. There you go Good. Well, we've done that. Speaking of family. Yes. Wendy's birthday this weekend. Yes, what's she doing A bigig five O we're having a just a little house party with picky bits and That stuff plus theange She's not doing a barbecue because your dad gets too pissed and just leaves it all to me, so I'm just do picky bits and everyone's coming around. it's gonna be chilled S picky bit. I' a blow up bed Are you? A compp bed, as it's called in A just the bed. So just the bed. Srank might be a big I think you're a big star but you won't blow up bed in the living room. I'm like, that's fine. She's like don't make an issue of it. I'm like, I'm not. I said it's fine. She said And don't be staying in Airbnb as well, you'll be fine on camp bed. Remember your root, are like, mum, it' fine. Sink n I've been staying all week, you' blow up of us. All like I'm said it's fine. I'm not set a word trick. you'll be al right, won't you? I said yes s' insane to your dadd youll love a fe song Sinking is someit now. I said, I'm not making an issue of the camp bed. you are. I'm fine on the camp bed. Because you know I'd put you in spare room but Dom's ananny in there with baby. I'm like, it's fine said it's notough is it? I said it's f my gosh, he is really poking the b. Yeah, I'm fine on a blow up bed. livedon slept on many a blow up bed I think what you should do, canan you do this for content please? Turn up. presume you arrive in the morning, lunchtime, whatever And just secretly audio or film youre going, I've actually booked an Airbnb. That's good shout. And just record her reaction. Well, that's fine. Or you go you're going back that evening. Yeah. Oh no, God, no. I've tried that before. Okay. So what do you mean I said I' get last trained it's like it's just before it's just after eleven. I said, I'll be home and be me on bed. What about your family I said, well, everyone everyone, this was this was this was at five o'clock when the meal had finished I said I've got to get back and I said S someayss You know, Sund days I need to get back because I don't have much s because I'm back in bed for oclock sh No, you'll stay out I like, allright, that's made tilt And then we got pissed in language. Nice Yeah. Anything else, all good? You know, all good all good. We do have some really exciting news because we're doing a special collab episode this Friday with Joe and James from the factact up podcast. So Joe Thomas and James Buckley, you know them from the in betweenween this? Well, I don't because I've never se I mean, I know who they are. It's honestly one of the best TV sitcoms ever made. I'm not just saying that.'s It's one of it. It's like my teenag years watching these Is it as good as the good life? Yeah Okay. Yes. It was kind of like everyone four. Is it a similar time to the manen of born No. Okay. Everyone imagined their teenage years to be like skins. Yeah Did you watch skkins The episode that my school was in Beause my school was in skins, the Pish school. Oh yes. Oh was that Clifton? Yeah Oh, remember that. It didnt these like paint on it or something. I can't really remember. So this is the best. So if I said to you like, oo, friends Oh what the say come No This is a quote from Okay. yeah tellell me what I need to know about the in between. That buswanker I host brring you wellies. Oh were into the country now because we're going to be knee deep in Cunge Well that's a discontinued fare and ball paint color, isn't it? Clunge. Clunge No Okay U When I fing her, she shit down my arm It's not really liked to the man ofor then. Whilst I was shagging this one I was sw fing the one up and I was told fucking the one on the floor. That's the best sittting' in the caravan. And' that a sheng of hand Does it win any awards? Yeah, lotads. I mean not seen the movies? No. Don't worry Kitty don't by it, notot now she's been fed you I'm sure it's hilar. Who is it that because Sean always has the best impression that? Who is it that he shags and he's like an old woman? Y there's and it goes, Don't worry, Kitty, don't b not now she's been fed best se. And there's also Will says, I don't like football Burnley, Burnley can suuck off There's lots of ear fans on there. I know how to feel. Okay, well there you go. That Well, I can't I'm super ex to them. I don't That's happening on Friday spepecial bonus episode. I've never met them before. Do you know what? You You to be like that fan in Alan Partridge. Yes. Yeah. What's he called with the room full of Alan Partridge's face. Yeah, and I've not m. Well one of those royal watches you see when they have jubileees and coronations and they've got all that memorabilia and mugs with diner on. And they bring the tea towels out. Yeah tea tos bit like you. That would be You're not that bad. If you weren't doing what you'd do Okay But yeah, ands I've really pushed for this. I'm not gonna lie because I've been like basically to the point where I've been commenting on their posts And their podcast is brilliant. so yeah. Okay, well, I'm looking forward to that on Friday. All right So that's happening on Friday. Right now, what is happening is Jordan's jolly joke of the week. Are you ready? I am So ready for it. hereere is the jingle If you like a chap, who's cheeky and Northern, you're in for a treat. With a Jordan and if a giggle is what do you see? You're sure to love Jordan's joy joke of the week Ja j j j j j I like this one from Brian. A man walks into a bar, pulls out a small man about one foot tall, places him on the bar. He reaches into the other pocket. pulls out a small piano puts it on the bar and the small man starts playing I'll tell you the punchline after the break Allright Jeneivers, thanks sticking with us. It's now time for Jordan's Jolly joke of the wee A man walks into a bar pulls out a small man about one foot tall, places him on the bar reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a piano puts it on the bar and the small man starts playing the piano Bbama says, Wow Brilliant where'd you get that guy from? Man replies, There's a genie down the road giving out free wishes The baran runs out and comes back We a bunch of ducks around him. I says That genie you recommended was fking awful As for a million bucks and he give me a million docks Manat at the bars says, Do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist Yeah That's from Brian That's it good, isn' it? Lucky good I like that one because my dad sent me that told me that years ago, I remember Y it had a ring of phography so. got C read that one This is from Carl. What does Lick and Fanny and the Mafia have in common One slip of the tongue and you're in the shit I am laughing just also despairing at the same time.. twowo crackers here this week. There' been some good jolly jokes at the moment T very much Yeah, very busch jes. from Carl and Brian Do you think it's ' I've mentioned home? I've gone a bit more We should record a podcast day after I've got back from home Sunday It's about idea. Okay Allright we' goingone to the questionss yes. This is from Anonymous. Hi, William Jordan the team. My friend is seeing an older man twenty year ag gap, and let's just say he isn't as sexually active as she would like. In an attempt to wake up his inner passassion, she asked if she could use her toys to which she replied yes. So off she went While he just commented how loud it was and went back to watching a documentary about mooring boats, which I was joking and then said, Well, it's past the witching out. I'm off to bed while she was mid buuzz Please please please read this out so she can hear from you guys that she needs to sack him and his shit documentaries off and live happily ever after with her rampant rabbit Lots of a concerned friend. Or if she's happy with him, regardless of When he is going off to bed, it's none of your business. is what I would say. And he might yeah and he might be tired, you know, some people do get up early for shift work or what have you. so Sometimes you' just like You crack on I'm going go to bed Yeah, have a nice time. I mean, I would hope that there is some sort of sexual connection between the two of them at some point. That would be nice, but maybe you just have to do it earer on in the day If it's the documentary I think it's on about. by the way, it's not that. there's a new documentary on channel four It suing afternoon I was in a hotel room and watched it And it's basically like a place in the sun. And now they find all these characters that have moved abroad, but basically people have bought Canal boats. Oh' fantastic go I've got such a better life now as they're in this tiny kitchen channel. the way around. it's class. I don't know what it was called,ough What's it on channel for, if it's If there iss a Tony Robinson one, it's probably a bit bullrich. Did you ever watch Tim Tam I've watchted Backadder, so I feel I'mimeam was good, but then he started doing N've never seen any of them railway ones or anything of you What with Michael Bortillo? Yeah. No I think it's called Narrow Escapes Narrow escapes. Oh, that's a good Which is great That is it type It's class. can I read the description? Go are you? Of course you can. Hi D U Bobbing businesses to continuous cruisers. We meet the vibrant community who call the UK's Canal Network homeome. They're great. They honestly everyvery day at four PM on channel I'm going get back into it You'll be on that. Oh yeah, continontuous cruiser. It's only three series Dep. Is it free I thought it was only It was the first I've heard of it. You'd like it Stuart Yeah, executive Chairman, Eerita Stewart. it's right up your street like when you' get in after a stressful day This is from James Stu William Jordan and the rest of the Sexiveed crew recently while driving I found myself behind a slow moving hearse, complete with coffin, Nf arm Since this was a dual carriage way and we were well under the speed limit, I could have safely and legally overtaken said Hearse at any time. But as it was clearly carrying someone's dece stuff on it felt disrespectful to do so and so I opted to remain behind the Hearse until we naturally went our separate ways Had the heurse been empty, I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, so now I'm wondering what is the etiquette in this situation? Loving the podcast, it keeps things interesting on long journeys That's a great question. I don't think I'd overtake a hearse if it had a coff in it. No I would be interested to hear what the highighways agency says about this or the DVLA because it's a dual carriageway and that's presumably national speed limit on a dual carriageway unless signposted otherwise. And so I would probably say actually than going it twenty thirty. Although if the hear is doing it, I guess it is leegal, they're not going to break the rules. But maybe heses do go a bit quicker. If we have any undertakers listening, could they let us know what speed hears is when with a load are meant to be going out on dual carriageways and motorways. Do horsses go on motorways? I'd be keen to know. But is it bad etiquette to overtake one when it's not if you could do it safely. D'd you think?' fine. No I wouldn't, personally. I think it's quite disrespectful. I disagree with you there. Okay, especially if the family are in the car behind Yeah, I do. And then what knowoy my luck I'd end up in middle. Oh shit. Sar sorry I'll overtch shit Also, yes, when I die. I love it when you do your little little hand. all thing. Also. Yeah, when I die. Yeah, and those facos is probably going to be me before you. Yeah, definitely. ye. probablyably me murdering you, but yes Yeahah. Cut that bit out for me, save money, the hearse, like pick it up at your house and stuff. Well hang on. Just take me funeral al to Cemeterum, whver if it's called? Cemeterium. Yeah, the cemetery. All right, Kili. The burning place. What's the burning place called? Creamatorum Yeah Take me to that Don't go around my house. That's gonna cost you more. I don't want people paying money for that. Sack what?? Can't they just This is a northern thing? No, surely, I don't know, but I think it's a bit of a con, right? I don't work in a funeral homes and trust me, it's not But I don't get what route you'll say. It's literally not a dining business. They must make enough money. There should be an option It's alive and well It's not a dying business. I might their clients. Yeah, it isn't, Ronald Just there must be an option to say. So hang on, but you're saying Coughing so you start at the undertakers. You don't you go to your house. Yeah, because they go the round and then everyone has to shut the cur That is definitely an awesful thing. Is I'm sorry we don't do that down. So you don't go into the you don't go into the C get in and the family usually follow the coffin don't need to the No, it it normally turns up at the church No, it's usually the family follow it behind. Oh, come on everyone does that. Anyway I'm not even saying take it to church, just Put put me in back at van and get me there before everyone else. Straight to heaven. Yeah, just get don't I'm gonna say to him, is there an option where we can just cut all that shite out? Wh I don't think you have much choice. Dopp me back back transit man, chp me back at there and just get lads to get me out. I'll be right what he would have wanted. You you know what they do in them Some South American countries. Oh, didid you go on holiday to South America? Yeah piss off Gossh, that's the most. You deserve that, too be fair. I' willll always back you up. You deserve that. Yes, Ben. tellell us, what do they do in South America? So there's a lot of dead bodies and they've got massive, massive. I went to a few of them of like when you're on holiday? Graveyards But instead of like having the gravestone in it being like stuck forever and burying it forever, basically what they do is Every like year, they chop up the remains or like half the size of the remains you go from having like a normal grave so then being in like a tiny little box. This is why I don't want to go traveveling, just just going holiday. If that's all you got from six months off. I what that dover that bot is. I know you could have wikipediaed that. Yeah. I get years ago it broaden your horizon becausecause they weren't they only wish you were rare on. She didn't really know What R IP Judus. Oh yeah, blessed out this Challers Anyway, I get it But now I'd rather just go on holiday. Can we just have an all support thing we were discussing before So Toy Story five is all aboutort of the villain. This is in the trailer, it's not a spoiler pad or the tablet. It's not an Apple product, obviously, it's just a it's a tablet and In the news now. is social media is being banned. for the under sixteents And obviously that's basically the plot of Toy Story five. Have you killed social media for the under sixteen. Has that fallen? Is that the biggest victim of the Jordan North Cse? That the Toy Story franchise? Yes Do another question. come on. I think we all know the answer. This is from Elise Dear Ruth Garden Gnome and the B of BJ Services I was invited to a close friend's thirtieth last week, lovely. We're in a group of four, so the rest of us clubbed together to buy her a voucher which we gave to her on the night. My only issue, another member of the group, also recently turned thirty, but we didn't get her a present as a group. I couldn't make her a party, and I hadn't given her a gift. My plan was to bring her thirtieth present along too but then it hit me. What's the etiquette for bringing a birthday present for a party when it isn't for the host Is that considered rude? I was originally planning to giveift her alcohol, which would have meant walking in with a large gift bag that looked like it was for the host potentially having to say, Oh this one isn't for you. So, what is the etiette of this very twenty first century dilemma? Lots of love, never stop the pod, at leise U I think you would youd just have to say to whoever you're trying to give the present to, byy the way, I've got something in my car for you D don't want to give it in here because I It's it's not for the host Let me leave without getting it. Yeah, that's what I'd say. That's very good, yourself, Gustper. What if they're not in a car Just say Well, you're stuffed. Yeah, probablyably best not to take it to a birthday party and give it to someone else. I do think it does, And at least at least you are aware of that I'd just say to him, I've got a present for you at home or in work.. good good. And well done for being conscious of how it looks This is from Mean D William Jordan, and producer Ben, if applicable. I'm a newer listener and I don't know if PB is still with the bottom lost Oh. Sadly Yes. Yeah, he never came back from traveling. No. Yeah. Now he's go we're going go out in a year's time and chop his remains up Yeah smaller. He's like that kid from Junglebat, what's he called? Mgli? He's Mogli now he's just in a jungle in a forest in South America somewhere. Eating a guinea pig. Yeah I work part time in a shop, Meghgan says, It's a liquor store that my friend owns. There is a bit of a drama. He got the manager pregnant. Wow. Shn't it led her? And now their daughter is a year old My quandary is this. I open the store and work until four PM on weekends We have had people quit recently and now the boss owner, my friend and the manager, his girlfriend come in to relieve me. The problem is that they never come in on time. Sometimes it's only five minutes late, sometimes twenty minutes, they never explain or apologise to the tardiness. I was raised in a punctual family, especially when it comes to work My father always told me, If you're on time, that's five minutes late. How do I go about asking them to come in on time? If they were my subordinates, I'd have no issues saying, Hey, I really needed to come in on time. But phrasing it like this to my superiors makes me uncomfortable. If my boss and manager weren't in a relationship, I'd feel more comfortable talking to either one about the issue of being chronically tardy. Thank you so much, best, Mean No HR department in Massachusetts. I know it's bit of a piss take that because if you were twenty minutes late they won't be happy, would they? No, they would not. No, it sounds a very unprofessional business in the bus pregnant tipping up when they went. Gosh, tell us what you really think? Well, it does. Does't sound very professional. I believe Isn't that what you do here We haven't Excuse me, we have not got anyone pregnant. We' got anyone pregnant and given it a go, but And I've been well on time of late fair you wor today I was last week. I've been on time of likeate emmphasis on light I think that I would say the sort of the The exccus is like the the tube lines s this down hasn't happened for a while I used appellite every week. Well it was Jordn, I'm going gonna tell you something in the interest of lightight. That's where this is going You would walk in and go, Oh, sorry, Piccadilla line's gone down. And I would open up the tubeeline status and it was good service on every single line without a fail. And Ben and I would genuinely, before we even got here, we'd look at the tubeeline status, go, see good service everywhere and wait for you to text Oh major major disrupt sometimes sometimes they don't sometometimes they left behind to shut up and I walked here today. Thankk you very much. And I was on time. I had two interviews, did the other Capitol podcast and was still on time. Yeah, well yeah, I said well done. Well done. And if you had some Jack Cass and Adam Lambert did a podcast then came here Jo Jonnynoxville? Yeah. gosh was Bird moment You've got me coming in next week I believe. Maybe William could do some jckas. Oh yeah, it's quiet weak ye Being nice to each other lasted long, didn't? Yes. No going back to Meghgan with no HR department, I would probably you just have to say to them, I have to leave at four o'clock. Please make sure you're on time. I I don't want to have to lock up the store. I think you need to make it an issue L please be on time. Eespecially at weekend, I've got plans I've got people waiting on me. So yeah, yeah. Just communicate in advance, and if not then you have you have to say to them, like I'm afraid I'm going have to find work elsewhere because etceter. for your reasons. You are within your rights. and yes, you're friends with them, but they're not being friendly with you We're finish of this from Textter Get out of my labatory Dar William Jordan, EPP, my friend and I visited Grand Canaria that day for the first time during Pride Week ld They're excited to experience all the usual fun that gay guys get up to around the Yumbo centre or' also both in pup play, which I'm sure we know all about by now On our last night of the holiday, we decided to visit the cruising bar Koxon for one final adventure. We were both feeling a little frisky and ended up in the slings next to each other, having a great time with plenty of pups and other guys joining in. My friend had one particular guy come over who we noticed earlier at the Uional Trorough. Thinking nothing of it, they got together and everything seemed fairly normal at first The guy was giving my friend a good time and then started rimming him, which again didn't seem unusual in that environment. However, without any warning or discussion, If this is where he suddenly remained inside my friend a moments later walked away dripping wet My friend looked at me in chal and said, He piston main walked off By the time we realized exactly what had happened, he'd already disappeared into the dark room and ran off before we had the chance to confront him or even ask what he thought he was doing. sorry, sorry, just so I'm definitely on the Right, Shall we roll play? No just so deffinitely She' been okay. ye You were getting shagged in a swing. Yeah, Well that fair enough. Dressed as a puppy Well someone was dressed a puppy, it's unclear who And he pissed in his arhle Yeah, no I have limited experience of all of the above, but I believe it's quite hard to when you' Cessent I think it's quite hard to How'd you know he's from Plland who's Chimestcent? No, Chimescent means erect And I believe when you are erect, it is quite hard to Cry urin. I just wanted to clear that up. All right. M Maybe you might need like good control of your pelvic floor. Yes. And remember not to Y' kidone Jo here. L it's pretty disgusting. Carry on. So my question is, what is the etiquette for when it comes to something like this in a dark room? Is it ever acceptable for someone to do something like that without asking first? or is consent and a quick conversation always expected regardless of the setting? Thanks, your friendly pup. Dexter I would agree with that last statement. Wherever you are, whether it's a darkroom, your own bedroom, the studio, you absolutely need consent and a quick conversation. Yeah, you need consent to piss in someone's ass. St do that on the carousel. We did. You need consent piss on someone's e. You need consent for it all Yeah, evenven if you're just doing even piss on someone, you need consent Yes. ye. Also you can get these now because it just reminded me. you can get these like foold upop bucket if you're internet, take it with you Beuse if it's gonna come out your ey, she's going have to Literally the term pissing out me ass when you've had a bad curry Thank you. So maybe if you're into that, get one of those fold up mop buckets so you can tack we are Viielda do a lovely one? Yeah. I've got a fold wash basket. I love it it goes It like his out What happens in that situation In what situation, Ben? why are we still talking about this? We just how would you get off from that going to go Dave, Dave is Dexter T the T the master. sereriously don' on no. Yeah have tom with it Tylor because pissing me ass And I need to get tip bug You have to hold it in could be quite difficult. Thank you for your questions.'re not we're not yumming anyone's yick, Yum. Yump, yucking anyone's I am. here, yum Thank you for each the round But go zombie and closed the azussies